Secular Confessions

Congrats Ash!!

We were encouraged to finish our plates definitely. Before we had G I told dh I would never ever make my kid finish their plate. I hate that mentality. When I saw my brother fight with his young daughters at every meal time, I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't do that. He used to beg, plead and then raise his voice all to get them to eat their food. If G says he's not hungry I don't push it, why waste the time or food if he's not going to eat. I am doing something that I swore I wouldn't do, G gets a different dinner than us. He is the pickiest eater ever. He eats yogurt, fruit, eggs, cheese, bread, peas, carrots, bagels, sweet potatoes, peanut butter. That is it. For Thanksgiving I gave him a teeny bit of everything. He ate ONE carrot. One. I know he will outgrow out. My nephew was the pickiest eater and now he eats everything. We eat a variety of food around here, I offer him, but he still refuses. He's almost 4.5 and he weighs 34 pounds.

Downton Abbey cast is on Today Show. They look so different in their normal clothes. I can't wait for the new season!!

Sorry I missed the Downton cast. I even got my mom to watch it and she usually doesn't like the old English shows I like lol.

The suicides in your community are crazy Chrissy!! Is the media involved at all. I don't know how so many children can be killing themselves in the same geographic area without someone picking up the story and trying to get engaged with the youth. So tragic for the families and the victims.

I only knew two kids who died in high school as well. One died of alcohol poisoning and he was a very good friend of mine and very popular in high school. He went to a party where they had a drinking contest and he won. It cost him his life. The kids he went with put him on his porch after the party and didn't knock on the door because they didn't want to hear his mom fuss at them about them coming home late and getting drunk. He died on the porch. We all felt that if they would have just knocked and run away his mom would have gotten him some medical help and maybe he could have been saved.

Another friend of mine from 3rd grade up died when she was 16 from a heart attack of all things. She was overweight but not morbidly obese or anything like that. And she was an honors student and really nice and smart, just a sweet person who got along with everyone. We were all shocked at her death. She died at home.

Erin

That is so sad, Erin.

Rich's younger cousin was a tiny little thing (she's about 10-15 years younger than us) and when she was in high school, she passed out during a school dance. Before calling a squad or her parents, they made her pee in a cup. For a drug test. Her parents took her to ER and it turned out she had a heart condition that was serious enough that at just 14 (or maybe 15?) she had to have a pacer put in.

I still get livid when I think about it. How dare a school do such a thing? She's since had another open heart surgery and they're worried she will soon need another one. Her dr's warned her about trying to have kids. She's had 2. :(

There were a couple of kids in my high school who died, but it was from drinking and driving and a car accident (not drinking related). Our high school was very small, with a graduating class of 100 people per year.

Suicides can be clustered, in that when one person does it other people start thinking about it, most with horror and sadness but others with the thought of how it might be a reasonable solution to a life filled with problems or even one particular event. It sort of puts it in the front of one's mind, so to speak. If the person who commits suicide is someone that other people can relate to in some way, it can be even more contagious. Often times, when celebrities kill themselves, there is a spike in similar types of suicides throughout the general population, for example. So sometimes, media coverage can backfire for suicides and make them more prevalent.

I was just looking up info on suicide clusters to share with you and apparently there are journalistic codes specifically because of this effect.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Copycat_suicide

It's very tragic.

These kids weren't from the same school, or even neighboring schools. Only 2 attended the same school district. The one we went to today, the boy was a student at Ithaca City originally but Jesi knew him through New Roots. Ithaca City kids often don't even know where Candor or Owego are, much less the kids that go there. It's really like a different world. Ithaca is 30+ miles northwest of Owego. Another student was from Binghaton, 20 miles east of Owego and my kids knew him through their cousins that go there. 2 were from Owego. And there was one from Groton (40 miles north?)

It still seems like a lot to me. :( I'm sure we're not the only ones that are aware of them all, but it's not likely all the kids that commit suicide were aware of each other. I really believe there's some fundamental epidemic going on that is putting tremendous pressure on our teens, and not giving them the necessary resources to cope.

Oh this conversation makes me so sad and worried.

This boy, Justin, was actually supposed to be a success story. He was one of those 'bad crowd' kids in his freshman year of high school. Missed a lot of school and tried 'everything' at least once. He was being raised by his grandmother and she chose to try New Roots. He goofed around, fought the teachers, and acted up but they got through to him and by senior year he was straight A's, got a scholarship and accepted into college. He wanted a business degree.

New Roots teachers and administration are devastated He was their success story and from what they all stood and said, he was deeply philosophical, a great poet, and good debater. The principal of New Roots, Tina, actually was the main speaker tonight and she was visibly shaken quite often but did a great job of remembering and commemorating him. I know she's a genuine person, as are most the teachers at New Roots, and my heart really aches for her as well as his family. She's the one that emailed/called me throughout the night when Jesi was missing. As last as 12:30 a.m. (maybe even 1:30-I can't really remember) and first thing in the morning (about 5:00 a.m.) to see if I'd heard from her.

It's just such a tragedy. Jesi said about 90% of New Roots (from what she remembers) was there. Many stood and spoke and talked about how he was the first one there to cheer you up when you were down. Jesi had said as much to me before we went. I told her it was just too bad he didn't feel like he could reach out to anyone when it was him that needed help. It breaks my heart.

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Originally Posted by Bridget

Oh this conversation makes me so sad and worried.

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I'm scared to death. Not just for my own kids (of course there's an element of that) but for all kids. I wish I knew how to stop this.

Mine too, Chrissy. How tragic and heartbreaking.

It always seems to be the ones who try to be the strongest who end up needing the most help. The ones who are afraid to ask for help, and nobody realizes they need it.

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Originally Posted by daylilies

It always seems to be the ones who try to be the strongest who end up needing the most help. The ones who are afraid to ask for help, and nobody realizes they need it.

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:( Ain't that the truth?

I'm sorry, Chrissy. It's so awfully sad.

It is so sad. We never had anyone in my high school commit suicide and it was a large public high school. It is so hard on the poor families. One of my mother's good friend's husband committed suicide. This was before our family knew her. She had no clue he was that bad off. They had a 10 year old son. He went to work one morning like everything was fine. Then killed himself in their camper. He left no note. Poor woman and her young son. :( And she was the sweetest, do anything for you kind of people.

My brother just called me and our 3rd (?) cousin just lost his dad, Bruce Sr, who is a really good friend of my father's. Tim tried to call dad and found out their house phone was turned off. The only way to get our dad is to call his wife's cell phone. :(

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Originally Posted by raspberry

It is so sad. We never had anyone in my high school commit suicide and it was a large public high school. It is so hard on the poor families. One of my mother's good friend's husband committed suicide. This was before our family knew her. She had no clue he was that bad off. They had a 10 year old son. He went to work one morning like everything was fine. Then killed himself in their camper. He left no note. Poor woman and her young son. :( And she was the sweetest, do anything for you kind of people.

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:( Suicide is awful in and of itself, but it's a real heartbreaker when a parent leaves a child behind.

Chrissy, have you been able to get ahold of your dad?


Got a call from the vet this morning and I was totally right. Cosmo is hypothyroid. Her levels were significantly low so she's going on thyroid meds. In a way we are pretty happy about this because it explains so much. She has just been so lethargic and her coat has been looking kind of bad (normally she has a very thick and shiny coat that grows well) and her skin has been really dry. Her mood seems kind of down and she seems a bit crabbier than she used to be. And than the weight gain.....between the last two visits it was over 2 lbs gained and she is not eating more and if anything is eating less because we have been trying to get her to loose weight.
Vet said that they usually see symptoms start to get better pretty quickly with the coat/skin taking the longest.
I just really want some of the weight off. Poor girl used to be like 20-21 lbs and was a tad thin....right now she is 33.4 lbs and I swear we have really tried to get that weight off and keep it down. I can tell it's too much and she has a harder time getting on the bed and couch. And it just takes so much to coax her to play....she mostly only does it for football right now. She just turned 9 yrs old which is older but really it's common for cockapoos to go 15-16 years.
I just really hope that she loses a few pounds and can jump easier and have more energy to play with Molly.

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Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

Chrissy, have you been able to get ahold of your dad?


Got a call from the vet this morning and I was totally right. Cosmo is hypothyroid. Her levels were significantly low so she's going on thyroid meds. In a way we are pretty happy about this because it explains so much. She has just been so lethargic and her coat has been looking kind of bad (normally she has a very thick and shiny coat that grows well) and her skin has been really dry. Her mood seems kind of down and she seems a bit crabbier than she used to be. And than the weight gain.....between the last two visits it was over 2 lbs gained and she is not eating more and if anything is eating less because we have been trying to get her to loose weight.
Vet said that they usually see symptoms start to get better pretty quickly with the coat/skin taking the longest.
I just really want some of the weight off. Poor girl used to be like 20-21 lbs and was a tad thin....right now she is 33.4 lbs and I swear we have really tried to get that weight off and keep it down. I can tell it's too much and she has a harder time getting on the bed and couch. And it just takes so much to coax her to play....she mostly only does it for football right now. She just turned 9 yrs old which is older but really it's common for cockapoos to go 15-16 years.
I just really hope that she loses a few pounds and can jump easier and have more energy to play with Molly.

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Yeah, Shelda finally called me back at around 10:30 or so. I talked to my dad for a while. He doesn't show a whole lot of emotion but he was shocked. This is the 2nd friend of his I had to tell him had died. That's enough. :( I don't want to be the one to call him with that news again. He's going to start having anxiety attacks when he sees I'm calling.

That's good news about Cosmo. At least you have an answer and it's not a terrible disease. It'll be manageable and now that she has medication she'll probably feel more active and lose some weight. My Missy is a multi-poo and she's just about the same age. She's fairly active yet (read, hyper) and even she's started to put on a few pounds recently. Age can do it too, but I'm sure her lethargy didn't help.

Sorry to hear about your dad's friend, Chrissy.

I hope Cosmo is feeling better soon Jennifer!

Yeah Chrissy, I'm hoping! I mean I expected some gain as she got older but in the past 2.5 years, she has gained 12 lbs! I would like to see at least 5 gone but hopefully more like 8. When DH's family was here last month, they both commented on it was sad to see her aging and getting so old...except she's not that old yet. It's hard to see us throwing the toy and she's done after getting it like twice. Or her version of playing with Molly is to stand and bark at her instead of chasing her. Especially since she was a dog until two years ago that would have been a fantastic agility dog. I wanted to do that with her but didn't really have the time or money. But she is super smart and learns very quickly.....and really was a super fast dog and could leap through the air like a circus dog. Now it's a lot of work to heave herself unto the couch.

Dang I just wish that I would have connected the dots sooner and had her checked before this. I was seeing the signs but just thought it was something else and didn't really mention them to the vet.

Don't be harsh on yourself Jennifer. Now you know and are doing something about it. I'm sure she'll be much more energized in no time.

What a relief to finally get a diagnosis, Jennifer!

Argh! I was supposed to buy this ikea storage system off craigslist today. I've seriously been daydreaming about how organized my front door area with all the winter stuff was going to be! She lives 40 minutes away so I went online and then found this place called USA bouncy about 15 minutes away. It's a big place filled with inflatable slides and bouncy houses. The kids had an awesome time. It was very cool and even some other school aged homeschool kids there so Savana bonded with a girl her age right away. They played almost 3 hr there! Then grocery shopping and lunch and then over to pick up the storage bins AT the time specified AT her townhouse, and no one there! I've been emailing her about it all week! I really hate it when that happens. Plus I NEED it! lol

Kai is reading! I'm so proud of him. Not something I've pushed at all but just following his lead. I recently inserted reading time in the mornings after breakfast. I've had Savana read a book or chapter first. Then it's Kai's turn and he had just been choosing those usborne books that are full of labeled objects but I started to notice that he was actually reading the words because, for example, one is "art" but it's a picture of a rocket ship and he used to always say, "rocket ship" but started saying "art". So the next morning I gave him a book and he's like, "Mom, I can't read!" and I said, "Are you sure?" So I gave it to him and it took a long time but he didn't give up and sounded out every single word in there. He'd butcher a sentence but then go back and read it the way he knew it should sound once he hammered out the words. So cool!!!

So cool?! OMG-that's HUGE Bridget!!! WTG Kai!!!! :hooray:

Yay, Kai! So proud of him.

I hope Cosmo is back to her former self soon. Man, what is up with everyone's thyroid? My sister just told me my niece (18 next week) is hypothyroid and going on meds. That makes me, my mom, my sister, and my niece. Poor girl. 17 seems very young. I'm glad she caught it and doesn't need to struggle, though.

I was dx'd with my thyroid when I was I think 21. I was still in college and I know I was at least 20 but don't think I was 22. I do think it tends to run in families and suspect my grandma had it but don't really know. And now of course Cosmo....I always said she takes after her momma. :)

She certainly does! :wub:

M is getting so big. He's taller than Gwennie now and broader in the face. He doesn't weigh as much yet, though. He's a growing boy and she is a little chunky. But he just looks bigger now.

He also has the cutest habit of taking a toy outside with him whenever he goes out. It's usually a soft stuffed toy, too. At first I took it away from him but one day DH let him and when he came in, pointed to the toy and told him to go get it. M followed his point, got the toy, and brought it in. Now, it's just adorable. He will scratch at the door and as soon as I open it, get his toy and go out. Then when he wants to come in, he scratches again, picks up his toy, and trots back in. Love how he cleans up after himself! How many of my preschoolers don't know to put their toys back when they are done!

Jennifer, I'm glad you caught the hypothyroidism. It is easily treated, thankfully.

Mandy, we have (or rather, had) separate inside and outside toys. Reason being that some dogs would want to take toys out, drag it around in the mud, and then want to bring them back in. Blech! I can see it not being an issue where you live.

Bridget, that's awesome! It's so cool to watch them make these kinds of breakthroughs.

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Originally Posted by Suja

Jennifer, I'm glad you caught the hypothyroidism. It is easily treated, thankfully.

Mandy, we have (or rather, had) separate inside and outside toys. Reason being that some dogs would want to take toys out, drag it around in the mud, and then want to bring them back in. Blech! I can see it not being an issue where you live.

Bridget, that's awesome! It's so cool to watch them make these kinds of breakthroughs.

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In principle, I am with you on the indoor/outdoor toy thing. But no, we don't have much in the way of mud here. Dust, yes. M just got to go outside in a mild rain sprinkle for the first time in his life just this afternoon. He tried to bite the raindrops.

We did go out and buy him some tennis balls and a frisbee last week. Mainly because the guy who was helping us with our yard a while ago kept throwing away Nero's toys and we can't find any out there.

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Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

I was dx'd with my thyroid when I was I think 21. I was still in college and I know I was at least 20 but don't think I was 22. I do think it tends to run in families and suspect my grandma had it but don't really know. And now of course Cosmo....I always said she takes after her momma. :)

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If this were Facebook, I'd 'like' this post. :wub:

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Originally Posted by Gwenn

She certainly does! :wub:

M is getting so big. He's taller than Gwennie now and broader in the face. He doesn't weigh as much yet, though. He's a growing boy and she is a little chunky. But he just looks bigger now.

He also has the cutest habit of taking a toy outside with him whenever he goes out. It's usually a soft stuffed toy, too. At first I took it away from him but one day DH let him and when he came in, pointed to the toy and told him to go get it. M followed his point, got the toy, and brought it in. Now, it's just adorable. He will scratch at the door and as soon as I open it, get his toy and go out. Then when he wants to come in, he scratches again, picks up his toy, and trots back in. Love how he cleans up after himself! How many of my preschoolers don't know to put their toys back when they are done!

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Awww---that is just too darn cute!!!

Yay for Kai!