Secular Confessions

I think that Mira's teacher needs to be more forceful in asking for participation. She's very 'I've posted sign up sheets for the fall festival, please feel free to contribute', instead of saying it more like how everyone would have a better time if all the work and fun were distributed around, and how we can do a bang up job if we all pull together. I think that part of the issue is cultural too. 1/3rd of the class is Indian. We are not known for being super involved, and for being unwilling to step up to the plate, opting to let others do all the heavy lifting. Another third is Asian, and at least in a few cases, there are communication problems. I know that I feel like the school is being miserly, and we shouldn't have to spend a dime more that we already do on the school fees, so maybe there are pthers that feel the same way. And maybe, people don't know exactly what is being asked, and how much it might cost. I picked up 7 or 8 small pumpkins at Whole Foods for 4 bucks. We all know they're not exactly cheap, so the stuff that is being requested (she's okay with people lending stuff instead of donating) is not super expensive. The single most expensive item is the hay bale, which is around 8 bucks at Home Depot, probably cheaper at a farm. I wish I had everyone's email so we as parents can do some arm twisting, but they won't do it unless people specifically request that it is okay to share.

On FB, I'm generally mum on politics. There are plenty of nice people I know that are on the other side, and it is our unspoken agreement to limit our political postings. I will say that I know A LOT more about people that I've known for decades, after joining FB. Especially being part of a closed group, because people vent a lot more in there in safe company than they do on their open posts.

Do you all have a "class parent" Suja? I ask because I was the "class mom" for Ky's 3rd grade class. Every year someone has to volunteer to be the class parent. That person will seek to get all contact info - phone, names, email addresses, how they want to communicate (text/email/phone) and then contact people on the teacher's behalf for any items that the class may need or to coordinate birthday parties or other celebrations.

That may be an idea they can start at M's school as that will at least give you or the teacher a contact list for all the parents and multiple ways to reach them. Mostly we just do email or texts. Our school also has a website and we have a way to send out blasts to all parents in the entire school for school activities. We got one recently about a need for volunteers to paint the cafeteria tomorrow, so DH will be going. The PTSA gets everyone's email address and phone numbers for every person who has ever attended a PTSA meeting as that is part of the process of going to a meeting. They are automatically signed up for the communications blasts and if they want to unsubscribe they can but most don't.

We buy a lot of supplies for our teachers. I always ask what is the greatest need usually before school starts and around Christmas break. It is always usually kleenex tissues and dry erase markers. Sometimes decoration materials or things they are using to make art/science/social studies projects - things like shoe boxes for diaramas recently I donated, DH has a lot of shoe boxes so we sent enough for the entire class. Yarn, playdough, just random items. Our principal though also gives teachers a certain amount of petty cash to share for two classes so if it is an emergency, then they can use that money as well.

Erin

Suja that is pretty frustrating. When I talk to my neighbor who has been teaching kindergarten for years, it's always just a handful of parents that help. The rest just don't. I can see that is already the case at G's school.

Good luck Mandy!!! :babydust:

Just jumping in to say I had my dreaded evaluation and while it wasn't all 3's across the board, there were 3-4 of them. I fought each one and was able to back my point up. There was also a mention of the one mistake that I'd made and I told her flat out that I resented that was put in my evaluation. After we talked about it, it never happened again. It's not like it was a repeated offense or anything.

She changed all but one of the 3's to a 4 and took out the mistake in the time it took me to go outside and smoke. :D

Erin, the 3 of us share class parent duties because we're each busy enough that we can't commit to doing it alone, although one I think is the "lead parent" by virtue of being the one to attend meetings.

Thinking of you B and Kai....hoping that you like the new doctor this morning.

Hmm, trying to figure how many diapers to get. Decided on pockets with some fitted/covers for night or a big longer naps/trips. Figure on wash every other day. Already have 5 pockets and one fitted (cover should arrive today).
Freaks DH out less to spread over purchases so I'm stocking up on a few a month. Plan is to have all I need of the size one (the brand is a two size system and size ones to 18 lbs) so one less thing to buy when we get matched. Get them all washed and prepped before I need them.....in case I don't have much notice. I know one in our group had about a 1-2 day notice and had nothing....the other couple had about two weeks notice.

And snaps or aplix?

I'd caution against buying all (or most) of the same brand. What you think you might like, may in fact be your least favorite. Will the baby be going to daycare at all? Our daycare doesn't like snaps, they take too long for them to do. I'd say start with 25 or so total, maybe buy 5 of 5 different brands/types? Then if there are any types you really don't like, you can sell them and buy more of the ones you do.

Bobbie just f'd me over, on purpose. She said I was 'screwing' her, so she was screwing me by getting an AT&T plan of her own. I can eat the early termination fees through Sprint on my own. I'm freaking LIVID.

Wow Chrissy. Is the phone one you bought? Can you demand it back? If the plan is in YOUR name, how in the world can she terminate early on you?


Lisa, no plans on using daycare. We work different shifts and definitely would not do it full-time. I would like to do part-time once toddler age but would need a different size by that point anyway. My DH agreed to the cloth BUT wants only one brand and he agreed to it when we were shopping in the store checking them out. He will not deal with prefolds at all and pretty much wants just pockets. And maybe a few fitteds/covers for nighttime. He wants the least complicated possible. Especially he will be on baby diaper duty as much as I am since he's the one home during the day. I'm actually really surprised he agreed to this so easily!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

Wow Chrissy. Is the phone one you bought? Can you demand it back? If the plan is in YOUR name, how in the world can she terminate early on you?

---

Well SHE can't, but the alternative is paying the same rate I've been paying all along for a phone no one is using for an entire year.

Chrissy, apart from the fact that you should demand that Bobbie pay you for the early term fees, I think you two really need some distance from one another. She's being a real jerk to you, and she needs to be away from you to learn how to appreciate you.

Mandy, I'm naked moonwalking for you over here. Trust me, it's better that you're just getting the verbal description rather than the visual. Sending you sprinkles and sprinkles of babydust!!!

Suja, I agree that the teacher needs to mandate the participation of other parents in some way. In our mother's club, we have a volunteer commitment that is required with membership. Moms who can't fulfill the commitment end up having to pay higher membership dues. Not that I think there should be a financial penalty for not volunteering, but there needs to be some sort of expectation communicated to the parents that they're supposed to volunteer, and they also need to understand the consequences of not volunteering. Do you think some willful parent can send a message to other parents as a plea for more participation, saying that it will greatly benefit the children and the teacher as well? To be honest, I tend to be low on the involvement scale whenever it's voluntary. I can see myself being grumpy about it, grumbling "I pay this much to send my kid here and now I have to do this much more?!?" but if someone explained to me that there is really a gap that needs to be filled and other people's lives are made hard partly on account of my lack of participation, it would make me waaay more willing to chip in. Some people - myself included - have a hard time offering help if the need for it isn't fully understood.

Bridget, I'm so frustrated for you and sad for Kai if yesterday turns out to be a waste of your time in any way. You should at least be able to get some answers from Kai's doctor, not the receptionist.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by demigraf

Chrissy, apart from the fact that you should demand that Bobbie pay you for the early term fees, I think you two really need some distance from one another. She's being a real jerk to you, and she needs to be away from you to learn how to appreciate you.

---

Oh, I demanded the ETF. She doesn't have it. I responded that I'd be taking the plates off the car then. She said I can't, it's dad's and he said she could drive it. Well, I pay the insurance. If I don't get the ETF, it's coming off the road. End of story.

And I absolutely 100% agree we need a break. I will not be trying to contact her at all for a long time.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by missychrissy

Well SHE can't, but the alternative is paying the same rate I've been paying all along for a phone no one is using for an entire year.

---

So the plan she bought is being attached to the phone she has but you own? Or did she have to buy a new phone for her new plan? Sounds like she took the choice from you...since you did tell her you were going to cut it off and she just wouldn't get an xmas present, right?
Sorry if I'm not totally getting how it all works....I still on a prepaid bare bones single phone plan.

How does car insurance work in your state? Can you just call them and tell them you are pulling that one from your plan? if dad says he she can have it and drive, maybe dad should pay the insurance or demand she cover it?


So over in new moms there was a gender branding discussion....I just put an order through for a few more diapers and wanted to order the rose one so bad. I have gotten greens, blues, brown....but couldn't quite go for the pink in case we get a boy. I think that it's ok for men to wear pink....yet just couldn't quite buy the darker pink on for a freaking diaper that will only fit until 17-18 lbs.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

So the plan she bought is being attached to the phone she has but you own? Or did she have to buy a new phone for her new plan? Sounds like she took the choice from you...since you did tell her you were going to cut it off and she just wouldn't get an xmas present, right?
Sorry if I'm not totally getting how it all works....I still on a prepaid bare bones single phone plan.

---

She got a whole new phone/plan herself. She has the phone that I have her current plan on with her. I could demand she give it back to me, but it won't do any good. I'm still stuck in the contract on it for a year.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

How does car insurance work in your state? Can you just call them and tell them you are pulling that one from your plan? if dad says he she can have it and drive, maybe dad should pay the insurance or demand she cover it?

---

I have to turn the plates in to DMV and they give a form for me to submit to my insurance. Without that form I can't just drop the insurance.

I just talked to Rich and his interpretation of his conversation with Bobbie last night was vastly different than what she said to me. He was telling her she was treating me with disrespect. She didn't like what he was saying and started to go off on him, but he cut her off and said he was going to bed. Today, she tried to tell me that "daddy doesn't even understand why you're being such a b!tch to me" She's trying to manipulate and cause more problems between me & her dad. Lucky for me, Rich is still fundamentally a good parent. He's a good person and wouldn't ever take advantage of anyone like she has been...so of course he isn't going to sit back and watch her do it without saying something. He told me we'll figure it out this weekend, but we're definitely pulling the plates. He's as disgusted with her attitude as I am.

I have to say, it's a relief. At least I don't have to battle him too.

Yeah that is different from my state. We just call and tell them we sold a car and given them the vin and they drop it. I think....since DH does those calls.

I'm glad that Rich is being reasonable and seeing the reality of the situation.

I would still want the phone back. Maybe you could sell it once you terminate.

God, she doesn't even know what a b*tch of a mom is. I love mine but just picturing how she would have reacted to me pulling the crap bobbi is....OMG, would have made you look like a huge softie. I mean I pulled some stuff but knew that I had best shape up because I was not getting more chances and she meant business.

Chrissy, I am glad that Rich is working with you in regards to Bobbie. The last thing you need is for them all to be difficult at the same time! I agree with Jennifer about the phone; I'd sell it to try to get some money from it.

MTA: It's dark out, Mandy, and the moon is shining, so I'll go out and do that naked moon dancing right now for you!

She has a replacement phone (used already) because the one I got her initially was junk. I don't think it's worth the hassle. I might have paid $70 for it. She can keep it.

I suspect Rich and Tim will be going and hauling her car this weekend. Rich was really ticked.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by AmeriBrit

MTA: It's dark out, Mandy, and the moon is shining, so I'll go out and do that naked moon dancing right now for you!

---

I don't care how creepy this sounds...I'd much prefer to think about this than anything else right now. :ohyea:

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by missychrissy

I don't care how creepy this sounds...I'd much prefer to think about this than anything else right now. :ohyea:

---

:D It's f-f-f-f-freeeeeeeeeeeezing out there!

What are friends for? :P Get dancing!

I did not take Kai to the dr. They called this morning and wanted to push it back. We made plans to go to a couple of museums in a town an hour and half away so really needed to get an early start. The kids were pumped, backpacks ready. So I rescheduled for Monday. We only made it to one of the museums we wanted to go to, the Children's one. They spent almost 4 hours there! I could see that Kai was tired and Sawyer was also very tired. I didn't want to pay the 30 some admission and not get much out of it. Kai had a meltdown that we weren't going because it was an exhibit of Leonardo DaVinci's invention ideas which he is really interested ever since it was the topic of a magic treehouse book. Then he was asleep 5 minutes after we hit the road so I made the right decision but I do have to drive us back up there to see that exhibit.
OMG i stopped at a garage sale in that down town and I'm pretty sure I left my wallet. I remember setting it on her little table when I went to pay. I hope she digs through it and tracks me down. She will right? There is no money in it. My total was 15 and I had to ask her if she'd take 12 since that's all I had. UGH! I am so my mom when I do stuff like that.

Chrissy, sounds like Bobbi is way out of control and I agree you need space. I'm glad Rich agrees with you, though. Makes things a lot easier if she can't play you off against each other.

Bridget, I hope you find your wallet! And I :wub: Kai for wanting to see the da Vinci exhibit.

Thanks for all the naked moondances, girls! And Myles for your naked moonwalk. That must be extra-special.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Bridget

She will right? There is no money in it. My total was 15 and I had to ask her if she'd take 12 since that's all I had. UGH! I am so my mom when I do stuff like that.

---

Of course she will. I hope. :P I know I would.

It sounds like you had a great day, despite the little meltdown and having to put Kai's appt off till Monday.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gwenn

Chrissy, sounds like Bobbi is way out of control and I agree you need space. I'm glad Rich agrees with you, though. Makes things a lot easier if she can't play you off against each other.

---

Bobbie did text me later and ask if it would be ok to pay me $40/month for 'her' line and let Kaleb (Jesi's bf) use it. I agreed but told her even if they broke up, she's on the hook for it until the end of August, when our contract is up.

Maybe it sounds like I'm caving, but I really don't want any more animosity between us than there already is. She's still going to have to get her own insurance, and I do expect her to pay the $40/month. I can cancel it at any time...so we'll see if she sticks to it or not. I have my doubts, but really...what's 1 more month?

That sounds like a plan. If she doesn't pay, though, I'd terminate the line.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Gwenn

That sounds like a plan. If she doesn't pay, though, I'd terminate the line.

---

Absolutely.

I have/am coming down with something. Feeling like something the cat dragged in. And cold. Very cold, and it's 76 in the house.

Hope Bobbie comes to her senses, Chrissy, and starts acting like the adult she allegedly is.

Bridget, I hope that whoever finds your wallet does the right thing and returns it.

I think that sounds reasonable as well, Chrissy. Better to meet in the middle, like you say, than make it even worse.
You guys should have seen Kai's meltdown. We were in the middle of a shopping center we'd stopped at so he could pee and I was trying to talk to him about coming back another time and he starts screaming, "I AM GOING TO SEE LEONARDO DAVINCI BY. MY. SELLLLLFFFFF!!!" Lol. Everyone was staring at us and he's so small so people always think he's younger than he is. I imagine it was a funny thing for people to see a small child tantruming over. It didn't last long thankfully. All it takes is a hug for Kai and his anger turns to sadness.

Just had an automated message from the charter school (they must not have removed us yet) saying that they hired a new math/reading teacher so would be doing classroom reassigments again. Can you believe that? What a mess.

Suja, eat garlic! I always do when I feel something coming on and haven't been that kind of sick for years.