Secular Confessions

That stinks, Chrissy! You're like that performing juggler who manages to keeps 7 plates up in the air, and then the bosslady comes along and tells you that you could have tossed one a little higher. Stupid management, IMHO.

Jennifer, that must have been a trip to see all that weight melting off that quickly. When it was all coming off, did they have you wear a compression belt of some sort? Anyway, I believe you'll be back into your old clothes. I love Weight Watchers, don't think they can steer you wrong.

Mandy, sorry I missed wishing you a timely happy birthday yesterday *and* the story about the fight you had with your DH. How are things between the two of you now? I know how it feels when you get the apology that you're not quite ready to accept. I think I usually just say "Thank you, but I still need to process things." That way, in case I will more to say on the topic, DH can't accuse me of kicking a dead horse. I guess I get to be the horse's coroner in that scenario. LOL.

To add to the discussion above, I sometimes hear my DH saying silly things too, and just want to scratch my head. Like we have this documentary about big wave surfing and it highlights 3 sites where the waves get over 40-50 feet. Then this morning, my mom asks DH where was the "best place in the world to surf" (also kind of a simplistic question, admittedly), and he took on his know-it-all voice and just rattled off the 3 sites featured in the movie. Not that we'd ever attempt to surf such big scary, killer waves nor would 99.5% of people who call themselves surfers. And it's not like he misunderstood the question, either. He was talking animatedly about what "top" spots they were. I just don't know where that came from. It's not like he feels the need to impress my mom with his knowledge of the world's waves. I think he was just caught up in his own BS. Sometimes I think he catches himself BS-ing when he's speaking and makes the conscious decision to just keep going with it.

OK, totally random, but without telling you who this guy is, do you think he's cute?
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Originally Posted by demigraf

OK, totally random, but without telling you who this guy is, do you think he's cute?

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Physically, from what I can see of him, no. Personality counts for a lot in my book, though.

Yeah, it's 100% personality for me too Myles. I'm not really a visual kinda gal.

Hot no.

Cute sure. Especially if one liked him. If one really liked him, maybe even adorable or handsome.

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Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

Cute sure. Especially if one liked him. If one really liked him, maybe even adorable or handsome.

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I know someone that can be cute and adorable, or downright ugly and repulsive to me...depending on how things are going at the moment. Actually, that's how I've always been with men. :P lol

I'd rate him a 6 on the handsomeness scale.

So who is he?

One of my male coworkers would be judged 10+ on the handsome scale in a pic. As soon as you meet him and he opens his mouth, he's the ugliest thing I've ever seen. I'm not the only one that feels that way.

Oh, haha. He's just someone I know who popped up in one of my dreams and - in my dream - he was super flirtatious and romancing me, and I was into it. I woke up and was like, "Whoa, where did that come from?"

The left half of his face is good looking.

Katy, I never thought of that, but I think I agree!

I only wanted to share the guy's pic for a short while, so I've deleted his photo from Photobucket. For some reason, his picture was still showing up in our thread after that, so I removed the link from my post. Suja, when you get the chance, would you please do me a favor and blind his photo out of your posting too? I doubt anyone who knows him would stumble upon his image on page 1179 of our thread, but ya never know these days. Thanks for the feedback ladies. Those kinds of dreams crack me up, especially when you have to see the person.

That's too funny. I had a similar dream once about my former bus driver. I'd never been attracted to him at all. It seemed like the dream came out of nowhere!

Myles, no problem about being a little past midnight with the birthday wishes. I have done that many a time and will do so again.

I don't honestly know what to say about DH right now. I want to say things are just fine. He is taking some classes this semester and he's really, really stressed out from taking Arabic which is consuming all his time but he's still not doing as well as he wants (I guess it's just like weight loss), while also cutting into study time for his other classes. So he's crabby from studying and he just isn't ever positive. I'm struggling to keep myself mentally "up" what with fertility worries, losing Nero, what have you (of course DH is dealing with all of that, too) and I just am having a hard time with the negativity. I'm not sure what to say about it as it isn't directed at me - it's just that I will listen to 30-45 minutes of complaining every time I come home from work and I just want to shut myself away from it. I'm trying to be positive and not get too down about it.

We had a nice time on my birthday, though - went out to dinner Sunday and while DH didn't get me what he had planned for my birthday after most of my bank account went to the emergency vet, he still got me some nice thoughtful gifts so it was great.

:( Mandy, I get like that too. We all have stress, but it doesn't help (me) to hear it nonstop. It's much better to suffer with someone that has a positive outlook. Or, at the very least if they complain will follow up with, "But we'll be ok. We can ___"

Myles, I want to see the pic! LOL

kate, I tried to PM you the pic of my "dream man" but got the message "daylilies has exceeded their stored private messages quota and cannot accept further messages until they clear some space."

Clear your inbox, girl!

D'oh! Okay!

Mandy, a professor of mine once told our class "Anytime you feel overwhelmed, see if you might have bitten off more than you can chew." So ever since then, I've always taken that feeling of being snowed under as a sign to look for areas where I might scale back on my commitments. Do you think perhaps that's something you & DH could do together? See what "absolute must haves" you might be willing to let go?

I'm glad to hear you had a very nice birthday. :)

Should be some room in the inbox now :)

I want to see, too! LOL

That's good advice, Myles.

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Originally Posted by demigraf

Mandy, a professor of mine once told our class "Anytime you feel overwhelmed, see if you might have bitten off more than you can chew." So ever since then, I've always taken that feeling of being snowed under as a sign to look for areas where I might scale back on my commitments. Do you think perhaps that's something you & DH could do together? See what "absolute must haves" you might be willing to let go?

I'm glad to hear you had a very nice birthday. :)

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This is good advice. It's made me think about my day at work. In itself, it was just a crazy, busy hectic day and we'll have those. I'm still a bit resentful about what the boss-lady said though. Not just to me, but she pissed off some of my coworkers today too in unrelated shenanigans. Anyway, I'm not overwhelmed in my job in that it's too much (or that I've bitten off too much), but it happens nonetheless. And it's always because of other people. I think IT has to be one of the more necessary, needed, and under-appreciated depts. You have your good people and your bad people, as with any place, but IT is the only role I've had where sometimes even the 'good' people can act like they think you're doing nothing all day long except ignore them. There's so much going on behind the scenes. On a crazy, busy, no-good day it's the last attitude I want to be presented with. It doesn't make me want to hurry up and help them, that's for sure.

One today, who I consider a bad one anyway, really drove me absolutely crazy. I had a VP with an unusable laptop on a day when he couldn't afford to be without his laptop, and she (the bad one) was emailing me nonstop about configuring a printer when the person who needed the printer had access to at least 3 others. NOT an emergency. When I told her my schedule was full and encouraged her to use our helpdesk email, she wrote to the helpdesk email and said I told her 'no one' could help her at all. :shocker: I wanted to take the bus up to campus and swat her. This is actually an ongoing issue that she brought up again today. She ignored the fact that that ticket was assigned to another tech. She acts like I'm her personal IT person who must jump as soon as I get an email from her. Then she lies about what I say. Her 1st week there, I started BCC'ing my manager because of how badly the bad user was twisting my instructions. I almost never BCC anyone, ever. I think it's rude. But I also know with some, I need to cover my ass.

Ugh-sorry about the tangent. It was just one of those days and people like her don't make it pleasurable.

That sounds extremely unpleasant, Chrissy. Yuck.

How annoying! But you were smart to BCC your manager.

Josh got some more cool stuff from school. They made a cute handprint with a poem and they are working on some basic math, language and reading skills. They got a sort of laminated worksheet on a key ring and a note saying we'd get more worksheets in the future and to keep them on the key ring so we can keep them all together. I love how she's helping the organizationally challenged, like me. :D

My child went to sleep last night at midnight. After 4 hours of trying, after she has thoroughly exhausted herself with various tantrums and whatnot. FED UP. If you don't hear from me again, it's 'cause I've moved to the Himalayas to become a hermit. Thank goodness my parents are coming tomorrow; I am SO sorely tempted to spank the kid.

I got really lazy. By the time I had Conner, if he didn't want to go to bed, I'd find quiet things for him to do just so I could get some sleep. Of course, his room was in our room so it worked out.

This too shall pass. That's what I kept (keep!) telling myself through the rough phases. Unfortunately, another equally frustrating one is sure to follow.

Suja - From what I understand, the Himalayas are not exactly a relaxing vacation destination. If you're going to run away, why not someplace sunny, lol! When things get challenging with Dae, I just repeat my little philosophy to myself, "In the grand scale, this stage will only last for a very short time in her life. Soon this stage will be over, and a new stage will begin. I can endure." It doesn't help change her behavior or even my responses, but it does help me to remember that eventually, it will end. I hope your parents give you a well-deserved break!

Mandy - Happy belated b-day. Sorry there is so much stress in your life right now. That kind of stuff seems to just build on itself until even the smallest frustration is too much to handle. I really hate that. I hope you are able to find some ways to simplify and get rid of some of that stress load. Also, my DH likes to get me really wound up in an argument and then apologize when I'm still really pissed. It's infuriating! I usually do like Myles and tell him thanks, but I can't instantly get it over it just because you apologized. I'm going to need some time.

Myles - I had to laugh at your "I think he just got caught up in his own BS". I know a few "pontificators", and it seems like once they really get going, it's almost a compulsion to see it through, even if they do realize what they're doing.

Jennifer - Did you ever resolve your bathing suit situation? I did think of one other thing, and that is that Bare Necessities and HerRoom both carry bra-sized swimwear, where there is an actual, properly fitted real bra inside. They do have some tankini separates by good plus-size bra makers like panache, goddess and freya. The only downside is that they are VERY expensive. I don't know how much you're willing to invest, but if you're serious about swimming regularly, it might be worth checking out.

Oops! Almost forgot to ask Bridget - How is Kai? Getting better?

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Originally Posted by dana_renay

Myles - I had to laugh at your "I think he just got caught up in his own BS". I know a few "pontificators", and it seems like once they really get going, it's almost a compulsion to see it through, even if they do realize what they're doing.

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I know, right? :D You have to admire the commitment of some of the more die-hard BS-ers.

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Originally Posted by missychrissy

This too shall pass. That's what I kept (keep!) telling myself through the rough phases. Unfortunately, another equally frustrating one is sure to follow.

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Chrissy, I know you've raised four kids, but is it remotely possible that you could be wrong about this? :winks: That Bodhi will pose no further problems once he's past his preschool years? We have entered the stage now where the slightest thing sets off the world's biggest explosion. He always seemed to me a really flexible kid, but now it seems like he's throwing tantrums at the drop of a hat. I think it's partly growing pains, partly the stress of potty training (poop training to be more accurate. he has the potty part down), and I think also it's a little bit of show for my parents. His reactions have become overly dramatic, and not Oscar-worthy by any means. We find ourselves calling him out when he's fake-crying quite a bit these days. "That's a pretend cry, Bodhi. You don't have to cry, please just talk to us and tell us what you want. I know you're upset about something, and we want to help you." I just don't know where this reflex to cry/scream first and explain later came from. I know it's normal for this age, but still shocking when your kid starts doing it.

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Originally Posted by demigraf

I know, right? :D You have to admire the commitment of some of the more die-hard BS-ers.



Chrissy, I know you've raised four kids, but is it remotely possible that you could be wrong about this? :winks: That Bodhi will pose no further problems once he's past his preschool years? We have entered the stage now where the slightest thing sets off the world's biggest explosion. He always seemed to me a really flexible kid, but now it seems like he's throwing tantrums at the drop of a hat. I think it's partly growing pains, partly the stress of potty training (poop training to be more accurate. he has the potty part down), and I think also it's a little bit of show for my parents. His reactions have become overly dramatic, and not Oscar-worthy by any means. We find ourselves calling him out when he's fake-crying quite a bit these days. "That's a pretend cry, Bodhi. You don't have to cry, please just talk to us and tell us what you want. I know you're upset about something, and we want to help you." I just don't know where this reflex to cry/scream first and explain later came from. I know it's normal for this age, but still shocking when your kid starts doing it.

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Oh sure, I could be lying too and just getting everyone all frustrated for the pure evil fun of it. :winks: They're simply angels after the horrible phase is done.

Some of that stuff (like the temperamental meltdowns) I think can only be cured with time. When they're mature enough to communicate using language, they will. Not saying to stop what you're doing though. We all know those whiny adults that were never nurtured beyond it. We do play an important role, but I don't think we can hurry it up.

I totally missed Chrissy's "this too shall pass" post. Exactly what I was trying to say, only much more elegant.

Speaking of the pains of poop training, I have to share one story with you. It wasn't funny at the time, but in time, I think history will place it in the "comedy" column.

A few weeks ago, I took B for the day to Santa Cruz , which is a crunchy-yet-touristy beach town with a funky downtown and a boardwalk amusement park about an hour south of where we live. I made a big deal out of the day because Bodhi was going to venture out with no diapers, even around the time of his regular poop. I packed his portable potty seat, 3 changes of clothes, tons of wipes, emergency diapers. He had, to that day, not yet made a poop in a public place, just at home or school. We had a great time walking around, making the ritual bathroom runs every half hour or so. We had a nice lunch together too. Then we stopped to take pictures in front of a grafitti mural in front of an art museum (some of the pics are up on FB for those who know me there). Suddenly, he started to get this scared expression on his face. "Don't look at me." he said. That's usually his signal that he's about to hide in a corner and poop in his diaper. I half-yelled "Wait! You're not wearing a diaper. Let's go inside and find a potty." So we hurried into the museum and the woman at the front desk let us use their bathroom.

The bathroom was completely deserted. I throw his portable seat on the toilet, plup him down and ... success! I shower him with praise and kisses, he looks pleased as punch to have made his first poop in public. I ask him if he's done, he nods yes and I clean everything up. While I'm putting his potty seat away, I notice the walls of the bathroom were turned into a "found purse art" exhibit, where ladies visiting the loo took single items randomly found in their purses, taped them to the wall with scotch tape provided by the museum and made statements about them with post-it notes. So I decide I want to play too. I rifle through my things and come up with a random Biore Pore Perfect strip from who knows how long ago (do they even make them anymore?) floating around at the bottom of my purse. I tape it to the wall with a post-it note that says "A stripper was here." and took an extra minute to take a photograph of my handiwork too. In the meantime, Bodhi was playing around in the empty stall with things in his backpack on the floor. All of a sudden, he got really, really quiet. I went to check on him. I try to open the door to the stall. He shoves it back to block me. "What are you doing, Bodhi?" He shouts, "Leave me alone!" That's when the realization sinks in that he'd just made another poop right into his briefs and I had been too busy goofing off with my "art" to notice.

I have to confess I got mad at Bodhi. I mean, I know he's not expected to make sense all the time, but he had just made a poop while clothed, while standing in front of a toilet, after having just been praised for making a poop on the toilet, so shouldn't he have known better? He got a very, very stern lecture from me and a take-back of a reward he'd earned for making the toilet poop. I later apologized for getting mad at him, and said I knew he'd been overtaken by the sudden feeling of having to go some more, but I was still going to take back the reward he'd earned because that was going to help him remember to tell me the next time that happened.

So, yeah one day, he and I can laugh about this together. I just don't know WTH I'm doing, though. His actions are so perplexing at times.