For those who might not be on FB, here's Bobbie & Millie
For those who might not be on FB, here's Bobbie & Millie
Awwww! Bobbie looks so happy with her kitty!
Congrats Myles on your race!! I also would love to do a half marathon at some point. Doing a marathon, then a triathlon (sp? it is early!) are goals of mine as well.
I don't think I'm athletically inclined at all but I have always been a driven person and can make myself do things and psych myself up into thinking I like it lol! Like cleaning even, when I don't do it, I hate it, but if I set a goal about cleaning, I'll do it REALLY well and within a specific amount of time. I am weird like that.
I have been pretty upset and depressed though in regards to my fitness goals recently. I mentioned a few weeks ago how I had worked out really hard and had not lost any weight. I still have not lost any and considering I am really overweight, like almost at the highest I have ever been, it is getting to be depressing. I have an aunt and a couple cousins with thyroid disease and my cousin told me I should get checked out. I am very afraid to have this, as I have very detailed goals in regards to my fitness, not so much a specific weight, as I don't get all that much into numbers on a scale, but I want to be a certain size and I want to do the items I mentioned above in regards to running. Now I am too big to run, as I am afraid of knee problems. I do have some of the symptoms of an under active thyroid - extreme fatigue, and I mean extreme, I have been tired for nearly 10 months straight, the leg swelling, inability to lose weight, unexplained gaining of weight, even though I do have my bingeing thing going on sometimes, I looked back in my journals over the past year or so and I haven't had but one episode of this and I caught it pretty quickly (I journal the old fashioned way as I am horrible in keeping up with blogs and such) and it only lasted a week, and I doubt I gained 30lbs in a week lol! I also have been feeling really hot at night, like it upsetting DH so much that I keep turning the ceiling fan up so high and the AC and then I cannot even sleep with a cover on at night while he is complaining about me freezing his a$$ off. My cousin said that's a symptom as well. I also haven't been sleeping well and have been waking up multiple times per night for the majority of this year. All of this is so depressing. I think I will have my PCP refer me to an endocrinologist. It sucks to be so tired especially. And even though I am overweight, I honestly would be okay with how I look if I hadn't gained all that 30lbs it seems in my stomach area, so much so that I can no longer fit my clothes. I have refused to buy any others as I wanted to lose some weight first as an incentive to buying new clothes. I normally am a 14, now I think I am an 18, which is depressing to me as in my mind 14 is a normal size. I'd rather be a 10 or 12 but 14 is okay psychologically for me, 18 is depressing.
This weekend I was so down about this. I think I slept most of the day yesterday. The highlight of the weekend though was Elle's soccer game. All the little kids are so cute and funny running around not knowing what the heck they are doing. Elle was just cracking me up, she keeps kicking the ball in the wrong goal, whichever one is the closest she kicks it into. She also got knocked down and looks REALLY mad, and just sat there looking mad. It was cute. At the end of the game, all the kids wanted snacks and I volunteered to bring snacks on Saturday and so I handed them all out, then felt a bit bad because the coach said he wanted to take a team pic. The kids refused to put the snacks down - I froze some Tuberz yogurts for them and gave them some cheez-it gripz, the little bitty cheez-its, so they had to take a pic with the snacks lol. I told the coach next time he may want to take a pic before the kids play so that they will look more team official. Most of the parents on the team, there are only 6 kids, haven't really been involved in team sports before since these are their first kids. They look pretty clueless. I volunteered to bring the snack and to get a snack schedule together as everyone seemed really shy. I don't like to be pushy though, so waited until Thursday to go ahead and volunteer in case anyone else wanted to do it. Compared to Ky's baseball team, this soccer thing is easy, only one day a week and I will just send out a spreadsheet to everyone telling them to bring a snack. So all is good on the soccer front and Elle is really loving running around and kicking the ball into the wrong goal.
Aw, I'm glad Elle is enjoying soccer! How old is she now? Josh started soccer last year so he was almost 5 and he had no clue. It was funny! Every time he fell down he was in a funk for like 10 minutes. This year is so different. He falls down and just keeps going.
I'm sorry you're having trouble with your weight.
I love the pic of Bobbie and her cat, Chrissy. I also saw the picture of the calendar I sent her-it was nice of her to post that for me.
Elle will be 4 on the 26th of this month. Most of the team are 3 years old and are going to turn 4 during the 10 week season. I think she is probably the oldest.
Half the team doesn't even want to play, which is pretty cute and hilarious lol! One little boy cried the whole time during the first game. He is a cutie but you can tell he does not want to play soccer. I thought it strange his parents signed him up. He ran on the field on Saturday for maybe a minute and then cried the rest of the game or refused to participate. This league is super expensive (they are extremely organized though, which is why signed up with them instead of another, cheaper league, I felt like since she is so young, I didn't want to have soccer be such a huge commitment). It cost over $120 just for 10 weeks plus some have to buy a uniform, which is nearly $200. Luckily Elle doesn't have to have a uniform. If you don't volunteer for something, they charge you another $30. I would never have let Elle play if she didn't want to based on the amount of money alone, plus of course the driving. Luckily they are nothing like baseball in that we play at the same field every week and it is only about 4 miles away. Plus, Elle begged me to play soccer, for about 4 months actually and she kept saying "Mommy, when are you going to get me on a soccer team!" and huff and puff about it. It was pretty cute so I broke down and signed her up. I really don't like putting kids onto sports teams or activities until they are older, at least 5 or 6 most of the time and even then I need it to be easy and not stressful. I am dreading Ky's baseball this spring as I am considering signing him up for the expensive league in Buckhead, the rich part of Atlanta because they have a great program over there, but I just am dreading it and I may just go ahead and sign him up at the Y since Elle goes to YMCA preschool and we are considered members of the Y due to that so his baseball fee would only be $65.
Cute Elle! I totally cried on the soccer field when my mom signed me up. My mom scooped me up and took me home.
Did y'all see the boy scouts in the news for covering up child sex abuse? When will this stuff end? How can we ever trust anyone with our children??
I agree Bridget. I am so wary of my kids being involved in activities without me and honestly, I don't really trust anyone around them. I sometimes think it is a crazy obsession of mine and I know it has to due with my own sexual abuse, but I know how that affected me psychologically and how hard it was to deal with that even as an adult and I don't want that for my kids. I just want them to have a fun childhood.
Ky knows what sexual abuse is. He knows what rape is and all that. I told you ladies I read the book by Sapphire called "The Kid" it was very disturbing to me because the boy in the book started out around Ky's age and he was so abused by people in his life and to me it seemed because he didn't know that the things people were doing to him were wrong and that he could speak up and get some help. So I started having conversations with Ky about this, thinking, what if I die and someone does something like this to him because he doesn't know it is "bad" to do to kids.
I was 8 when my stepfather started to molest me and I remember being confused about it and not knowing what to do. A group came to my 3rd grade class that year, toward the end of the school year and spoke to us about sexual abuse of children, using puppets and telling us about "private parts" and other things using dolls and diagrams and I remember realizing that that was happening to me, that is when I told someone about it.
But yeah, I kind of freak out about sexual abuse. I don't understand and probably never will, why adults want to do sexual things with children. I don't mind letting Ky especially do all sorts of things and I know compared to many of the ladies here at APA, I am the opposite of overprotective in a lot of ways. Ky is now allowed to walk places by himself and do all sorts of things by himself and I only worry about him if he is at someone's house since I know homes are where sexual abuse happens most often. It is also the reason why I make sure either DH or I are always involved in any activity he does. Ky was a cub scout, but DH was the den leader so I didn't worry about that. DH was also an assistant coach for baseball so I didn't worry about that either.
:comfort: Erin. I think you should get checked out. If you know what it is, you can cope with it. You cannot continue on feeling bad about yourself and not knowing if there's a medical reason for it.
Happy to hear the kiddlins are enjoying their soccer!
Yeah, B I saw that. Sickening. I don't even know what to say about it except I'm more glad than ever I didn't have my children attend any Christian programs when they were little. I won't be signing Conner up either.
L, EEK! on the mouse. We had a rat (or maybe it was a mouse) living in my garage one winter. Gross thing, pooping all over the place. My bad, because I had stored bird seed in there. I got rid of it all, and it eventually stopped coming. Either the incentive wasn't there, or the resident snake got it.
Mandy, your DH is too funny! Although, if he is self regulating, I wouldn't push for him to eat more. With all the orthopedic problems in the breed (Pano, OCD), it's better to grow slow anyway.
Chrissy, it's good to see Bobbie so happy! Your grand cat is adorable. And I don't think I said this before, but I really like Bobbie's hair. She looks so youthful.
Erin, definitely get yourself checked out. What you've said does not sound normal at all, including the inability to lose weight. You may also want to consult a dietician to figure out a good eating plan (or to have her look at your food diary), as a double check. Since I currently do not have an answer for why I had that hypoglycemic episode, I've made an appointment to see one as well.
What you said about Elle's soccer team sounds hilarious. I remember my cousin telling me about when she put her daughter in soccer. The kids ran every which way, kicked the ball when they felt like it, stopped to admire each other's uniforms/bracelets/other jewelry, and in general stopped when they got tired of running around. She said that it was like herding cats - good entertainment, but what they were doing could only very loosely be defined as "soccer".
Erin, that's how I am too. I'd rather let me kids walk through a forest alone then go camping with a boy scout leader (and that's before I read this article).
Why don't the kids say anything? Is it that they don't know it's wrong? Are they afraid of getting in trouble? This makes me terrified. I have looked on our sexual offender registry more times than I am willing to admit and notice that there are like 20 of them on one street. So whenever I drive down that street, everyone I see I think is someone off that list. I swear they all look like the pictures on there and I feel a little crazy.
So, Erin. When are are you going to make that dr appt?
Bridget, it's a very complicated thing. Pedophiles gain the child's trust. Boy Scouts (and other groups) are a perfect set-up for gaining that trust. Children want to be loved and accepted and they'll do those things to please the adult they look up to.
It certainly is complicated. I'm just sickened by the thought of any child holding onto that. Erin, when did you start talking to Ky about it, in more depth? I've talked to my kids about their private body parts and how no one is EVER touch them and they should tell me if anything happens to make them uncomfortable. Whenever I express my fears to dbf he acts like it could never happen to our kids because they would tell us right away but I can't shake the what ifs.
Oh, by the way. I ran out of gas on my way driving the kids to school this morning. WTF? Who does that? Luckily a nice lady in mini-van with carseats stopped and drove us to the school (we were only a mile away and had started walking) and then me to the gas station and then back to my car. Ugh. I do the stupidest stuff sometimes.
I have already made an appointment with my PCP but it isn't for a few weeks as they are always swamped. I cannot see another doc without them referring me and since the last time I went wasn't considered my yearly physical the doctor wants me to do a physical before he will refer me out.
I don't know why kids don't say anything about sexual abuse in general. I know I didn't because I was just confused and didn't understand what was happening. Also, I have always been confident in my abilities and considered myself to be "tough" like my grandma and great grandma and I felt I could do and deal with anything. I was embarrassed to say something and thought people would look down on me for what happened. I know some kids don't think they will be believed, I didn't think that but when I told my mom of all people, she didn't believe me and that was the most shocking and hurtful part of that whole experience for me.
But I do remember the confusion and reading that book, made me remember it more. Kids are so innocent and they just don't think about stuff like sex or anything like that. Most kids do what adults tell them to do in order to be respectful IMO. I started talking to Ky about this when he was 6 or 7 about private parts and what they are and how no one is to touch him there except specific people (me, dad, and his grandmothers) and that we were only suppose to touch him there in an effort to help him do something, like take a bath/shower or get dressed, etc. He was in 2nd grade when I told him about what molestation was and about sexual offenders, I would show him their pictures. Last year we talked more about what is involved in sexual abuse and I recently told him about rape, I think he could have heard it earlier but I didn't want to speak to him about it as I thought it would frighten him. He did say it sounded scary as I did tell him that boys are raped as well as girls.
I keep thinking I am scaring him talking to him about this sort of thing. He said he isn't scared but I know he still has a wild imagination and can work himself up over things. He told me recently that sometimes he doesn't like going to the store by himself (it is 2 blocks down the street) because some people look at him and it scares him. I told him not to go if he is scared and that he should ask someone to go with him and wondered why was he scared just from people looking at him. He gave a typical kid answer "I don't know." So I think maybe I am scaring him by warning him about people, but I do want him to be cautious and not trust people or talk to anyone on the street when he is by himself. I also taught him how to "mean mug" lol, where you try to look extra tough when you're out, it's something my dad taught me. He thought that was funny and then wanted to go to the store yesterday to practice his mean mug. He said he wasn't scared.
It's also important to mention that it's never appropriate for an adult to request a child look at or touch them in those same personal areas. My cousin's sexual abuse was only our uncle asking her to first jerk him off, then later blow him. It started when she was 2. :( It's not just about our children being touched.
I agree with this and have spoken to Ky about how he is never to touch someone's private parts as well. That was actually the main focus on our talks when he was younger, no one touches him and he certainly doesn't touch them and if they ask he should tell them that he knows that isn't right and they shouldn't be asking him to touch them in their private parts.
I listen to a radio show and a guest on the show said that a male relative asked her when she was 6 or 7 to touch his penis, like for a handjob or something, and she screamed "heckee noooo!" and told him how that was not right and went and told everyone at the family get together what the relative had said and how the family beat up the guy and threw him out lol! She said she tells that story in order for parents to know that a child's voice can be powerful in a lot of ways especially if they are educated about sexual molestation and know what is involved with it.
Ky is an awesome kid. Got to practice that mean mug to get it just perfect!
My heart breaks for you, Erin. You are a tough cookie.
You're right, Chrissy. I never apporoached that part of it, an adult asking a child to touch them. Thanks for that.
I hate we have to have these discussions but I'm glad I have you guys around to talk about it.
Yuck. The whole child abuse things scares me too. You know how you hear about that stuff happening at the dentist, or doctors, well Josh and I go to the dentist and they keep trying to get us to make appts. to be seen at the same time (in separate rooms). I just can't do it and I don't know if I'm being overprotective or not.
Erin, I love the picture of Elle on fb! She is so big! (you need to change your sig, lol)
DH and I had a really big fight yesterday. I had taken Josh to a couple stores, well he got bored and asked me to bring him home where DH was watching football. I had to go to a couple more places so I went back out after I dropped off Josh.
I came back and Josh was jumping up and down in front of the game and DH was getting increasingly angry. I yelled at DH to calm down but he completely ignored me and lunged at Josh to move him out of the way. Josh started crying and I continued to dig into DH for his behavior and DH pulled back to hit me. Now DH has NEVER hit me but of course it scares me when he pulls back like he's going to. I find it completely inappropriate and he wanted a medal for not actually hitting me.
So I threw something in his face that he said to me. (can you tell we are both completely immature idiots? lol). He said the other day that maybe we should read books together, it would give us something to do together. So I said to him during this argument, dripping with sarcasm, "Let's read a book together! Maybe that will fix our relationship!" And he said "Nothing will fix you." Like I'm the messed up one for coming down on him for grabbing our son and pulling back to punch me.
Seriously, nothing is ever going to get better with either one of us. Now he's blaming me that we're not in couples therapy because he was "kicked out" of therapy. So what if he was, even if he was told to come he wouldn't be able to because of his work schedule.
And then he was like, "We didn't have any problems until today." I laughed! There's a difference between not having any problems and not talking about them.
Our anniversary is tomorrow...LOL
Kate! That is bs that he reared back to hit you. He might as well have, imo. It's equally as bad even to threaten it! What a jerk!!!
Oh wow Kate. I agree-him rearing back to hit you is absolutely not cool. And it's likely the beginning of it. Some day he just might. The fact that he acted like he deserved some kind of recognition for not hitting you, rather than being apologetic for his actions, speaks volumes. I'm so sorry :( What are you going to do?
When my cousin told me what was going on with our uncle, I told her to tell. She got slapped in the mouth for talking about Uncle Bill's penis (I wasn't there, so I don't know what she said exactly) so that abuse continued on for a few more years. It's one of the reasons I have almost nothing to do with that aunt. I cannot forgive her for how she treated her daughter over the whole thing.
How could you not believe your own child?
I don't know. What can I do? It's happened before. (the pulling back to hit me) Not often at all. I mean given what all we've been through it is amazing I haven't been smacked yet.
What do you guys think about physically removing a child from a scene when he's not listening? Was I overreacting at DH for doing that?
I'm sorry that happened to your cousin, Chrissy. It's so sad when a parent ignores that stuff.
I have to go to work, I'll check back later.
Amen to that, Chrissy.
Oh wow, Kate. Not cool at all. At the very least, he needs anger management classes.
Why a mom wouldn't believe a child about something that serious, I don't know. My (ex) SIL was molested by her step father. When she finally got up enough courage to tell her mom (because she found out that he was starting to do it to her step sister, his own daughter), her mom told her that she could apologize to him or get out. She left. What she said was that her mom's life revolved around her husband (some of it is cultural, I believe), and he was the most important thing in her life.
I feel bad about bringing up my little petty grievances up, but Mira is driving me up a wall. Bed times are becoming real battles, with her messing with her diaper constantly, saying it's too tight, too loose, etc. and then of course it leaks in the middle of the night, and I end up having to change her, leading to a repeat of this at some ungodly hour (plus changing sheets, clothes, etc.). And she went to school without her pants on. After we had blinged out her brown pants, AND she had picked it out to wear with her monkey shirt, the night before. I hope they managed to get her to wear it in school. There is some small and petty part of me that wants to get clothing in only black, brown and gray and have her wear just that, to get her over this.
Erin, if it's the thyroid, that isn't really a big deal. I know both Mandy and I take thyroid pills....it makes a difference and they are very cheap. The primary should be able to run thyroid tests. And yes your symptoms sound very much like typical hypothyroidism. I did eventually see an endo but that was many years later and that was mostly checking for things like PCOS to see if they could find an endocrine reason I wasn't getting pregnant.
I would say not ok to lunge at a kid but yes I do think that it's ok to physically pick them up and move them.
I am married to a man with a temper (his stepdad...from ages 9-24 was abusive though mostly emotionally to DH...his mom had both kinds). Even with his temper, he has never reared back to hit before. If he did that once, he would be in counseling for anger management. He has worked on it though....I have spent years working on this with him and telling him I have faith in him and he's a strong enough man to learn to control his temper.
I have to say he did great this morning....Molly decided it was a good idea to eat some Cosmo poop....I was on my way in to pick it up but she beat me too it. She did that a lot younger but hasn't been doing that for a few months. I should have known because Cosmo was great until she was about a year old and than got really naughty for a little while before getting good again. Anyway he handled it really well and Molly of course got yelled at and put in her kennel....and when she got out, she was put through a teeth cleaning.
Oh and I'm home sick today. I want to whine a bit about how much tetanus shots suck. Got it Friday and barely felt it...Saturday to today been very sore. Arm is all red and feels like a golf ball was put in there. And I have aches and chills and a bit of a fever. About the only side effect I didn't get from the Tdap was upset stomach....which is funny because that is usually the first thing I get as mine is so sensitive.
I only did this to get the pertussis one since I am having a baby at some point in the future. And i haven't had tetanus since I was 16. Not sure I will be a hurry to do the next one in 10 years.
Flu shots I get every year because we have to work....arm gets sore but that is about it. Nothing like the Tdap for me.
Jennifer, I hope you feel better soon. I got a tetanus booster in November, before we went to India, and it sucked for a bit, but it was nowhere near as bad! And I'm glad I did, because I gashed one of my fingers on a nail yesterday, when I was tidying up the garage.
One of my very, very, nice coworkers had been out for a couple of weeks because of surgery. Basically, she has had a couple before to deal with endometriosis, went for another one, and they found adhesions and other complications, and ended up resecting her bowels in addition to treating the endometriosis. She was just cleared to return to work, and the doctor apparently told her that she will never be able to have any children. I feel really terrible for her. She is such a lovely, lovely, young person, and a pleasure to work with. She is going for a second opinion tomorrow. I really hope that she gets better news.
It's getting on the upswing at least.....today I can lift my arm easier.....yesterday that was killing me to do that.
On the good side of things...I had taken about 10 days off the diet for the holiday weekend and traveling. I was bad with eating....cake twice, ribs, chinese takeout, pizza, alcohol....got back and last week said I gained 2.2 lbs which was not as bad as I thought. And yesterday after one week of watching my points, I was down 4.9 lbs!
And I got a new pair of work pants....well they were in the closet but now they fit again....last time I put them on they were too tight. They are like brand new too because I think I bought them planning on losing but instead I gained.
Suja-nothing petty about your toddler angst. That age is so hard and they are just like angry little beasts sometimes! lol M sounds a lot like Savana at that age. I'd often wonder if I was doing something wrong and especially when people would raise an eyebrow (mil) at my willingness to abide by her rabid requests to wear a certain outfit or whatever. But she's pretty cool now if I do say so myself so I'm glad I didn't squander her spirit for the sake of obedience.
Dbf wants to know why I am acting like I can't stand him. I tried explaining to him that I'm still salty about the other night when he had too much drink (again) and stomped around the house like a bully. I told him that's what it feels like when he's like that. It's like he's trying to pick fights with all and we're all just trying to get away from him. He's like, "I said I was sorry". Great. Glad your sorry. But when you do that, it actually changes my opinion of you. It makes me like you a little less. He walked out all hurt but I had to be honest. It's like I tell my kids, when you say you are sorry that means you're going to try your hardest to never ever do it again.
Ugh. I don't know how he doesn't get it. I really don't know how you tolerate it.
He's actually saying that he took some pain meds because his wrist was really sore after he helped our neighbor with a project. So it's not that he had too much to drink, it was the mixture of the two. Really? I'm supposed to believe that you weren't aware of what would happen if you mixed them? You are an adult. Take some freaking responsibility for your actions. It's like when the kids say they didn't do something on purpose and I explain to them that maybe they didn't mean to knock Sawyer over with the plasma car but that riding it with your eyes shut is the unsafe choice that led to hurting Sawyer.
The difference is the kids get it.