Secular Confessions

Kate, I have the same issue and a big chunk is not having access....just knowing that there is a bathroom and I can go if needed, does it for me. I would not be able to do a job where I couldn't go if I needed too.

I saw Jamie Lee Curtis promoting her new book http://www.amazon.com/My-Brave-Year-...hildrens+books
and she was talking about how a parents job...one of the main ones is to encourage separation and detachment (obviously not as babies or anything but overall part of raising a child into a young adult). The little of the book I heard read sounded pretty good. And she makes a good point that kids have so many firsts and are always encouraged to try new things that you are really brave when you are little. Adults do not do new things that often!

Welcome back Kate! Good to see you. I am sure that Josh will be okay on Monday. Is he excited for school?

G started pre-k yesterday and he was thrilled, no hesitation from him. We went into his classroom and when it was time to leave I went to say goodbye to him, and he took my hand and kissed it , saying just like The Kissing Hand mommy. Melt.my.heart. There are 11 kids-6 girls and 5 boys and the teacher knew enough to split up the boys. G was sitting at a table with 3 little girls. My only compliant is the lunch program. Prior to school starting I checked out the lunch menu online and it sounded all good, until I got there. They had Fruit Loops for breakfast, and for lunch they had hamburgers and hashbrowns and chocolate, strawberry, and regular milk. It all sounded so healthy and balanced online. They did have selections of fruit and veggies. I can see they are trying, but I will feel better packing his lunch. Which is just as well, G was all excited about picking out a lunch box.

Mandy, I am so sorry about losing your dog. :(

One of my earliest memories is being upset with my mom for putting me in the morning kindergarten program, and not the afternoon program. Even at 5 years old I knew the value of sleeping-in. Thankfully G got his happy in the morning attitude from daddy. Yesterday when I woke him up, he sat up and said cheerfully good morning mommy, is it time for school?!! I know for a fact I never said those words. In my perfect world mornings would start at 9am. heh

That made me laugh, Shelley! I have never gotten up with a light-hearted attitude, even when I am thrilled with what the day will bring. My daughter is the same as me. This morning she told me "I like to sleep" when I woke her up, and that is the nicest she has ever been when I am trying to get her out of bed.

Well, what I thought was going to be my fall all of a sudden is completely not! I was planning on taking two graphic design courses this fall, but after the first day I knew I had to drop at least one because I was looking at trying to find an extra 24 hours outside of the six hours of class time just to do all the homework and I just couldn't see it anywhere. So the first day I dropped the straight "art" class because the workload on that was going to be so taxing. I thought I could deal with the typography class because it is not just all out creative thinking (which takes more time than just plain studying or writing papers for me), but even that was looking dire. The professor assigned 200 pages of reading in the first week alone, along with difficult reading questions (compare and contrast vs. just straight reporting what was in the book), plus three different assignments. In the first week, I had to tell JoJo twice that I couldn't hang out with her because I had homework. I just realized that I was already too stressed out and wasn't going to have any time to devote to JoJo (she's in a difficult time right now), my egg art shows, developing new lines (working on jewelry, screen printing tote bags or t-shirts to sell at the shows, other media), screen printing t-shirts for a friend's company, or doing the mobile website design that I worked on this summer. All these other things (except JoJo, of course) that might produce some income were being sacrificed for this class that isn't totally necessary to a web design degree. I want to learn about typography but not at the expense of everything else. So after staying up far too late last night worrying on it, I decided to drop that class too. So now I feel really happy. But I did think about the discussion of a few days ago and wondered whether I was being short-sighted. But in the end I decided that though it is a cool class, it wasn't worth the sacrifice of everything else. We will see. But I feel pretty alright today, with enough time to do the things that I have been passing by for weeks in the house like the plant that needs to be repotted or the kitchen baseboards that needed to be scrubbed. I read somewhere that there is one type of meditation that involves just going along for the ride all day, just getting up and doing what you want around the house, cleaning for a bit and then getting distracted by a book you want to read and then getting a drink of water and seeing that the sink needs to be cleaned and doing it. I love days like that where you can just putter around doing stuff and at the end of the busy day you can't tell anyone that you actually accomplished anything but you were busy all day. So I am kind of having that kind of day today. Like now - writing this post - I have been so busy that I felt bad about spending the time posting on here but I just checked in and felt like posting! Sorry I am rambling!

Gwenn - I am so sorry about Nero. JoJo and I looked at the lovely picture you posted on facebook and had a long talk about what the dog was thinking and whether he wanted to come in or whether he wanted us to go out and other things he might have been thinking about. Our dog looks a lot like Nero except maybe not as furry. You have been having such a hard year with a lot of losses and I feel sad for you.

Everyone sending their kids to k: big hugs. I don't know how I will feel about it next year. I wasn't that bothered when I dropped J off at daycare at 10 months (in fact I was a little gleeful to be by myself for the first time in almost a year) but I can see that I might be more emotional with kindergarten.

Mandy, I'm so sorry to hear about Nero. My heart goes out to you.

Hi Shelley! Yes, he's excited! Have you guys ever watched that show on one of the HBO's called Kindergarten? It's a documentary that follows a K class and it's pretty cute. He has watched it a few times so he knows some of the things he might do. Putting on plays, doing experiments, going on fieldtrips, possibly having a class pet..it looks like so much fun!

Josh also enjoys getting up in the morning--I'm not sure where he gets it from since DH doesn't like to get up quite as early as Josh does, and I could sleep till noon. LOL

I'm glad G was excited for school! Conner was too, but he did get very nervous once the bus showed up. I'm really hoping he got over it quick and had a good day. I'll find out soon!

Katy, it does sound like you had an awful lot on your plate. I'm glad you had a more relaxed day. Maybe K won't be hard on you. I think for me, it's the finality of it all. Conner is definitely my last baby. This was my last 1st day of Kindergarten ever.

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Originally Posted by girlwonder

Gwenn - I am so sorry about Nero. JoJo and I looked at the lovely picture you posted on facebook and had a long talk about what the dog was thinking and whether he wanted to come in or whether he wanted us to go out and other things he might have been thinking about. Our dog looks a lot like Nero except maybe not as furry. You have been having such a hard year with a lot of losses and I feel sad for you.

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Thanks. I loved that my picture led to a great discussion for you and JoJo. You can tell her that he is trying to tell me that he wants to come inside and get a rawhide chewie, and that's why he is looking especially sweet and excited. LOL - he's all about the treats and good things to eat. It's how we realized he needed to see the vet; he begged DH for a bite of his apple (my crazy dog loves apple cores) and then spit it out, then spit out a piece of meat when DH tried to get him to take his pain pill. Literally the day he refused a special treat was the day we knew he wasn't going to make it.

I'm glad you made the decision to drop the class so you had enough time for everything else in your life. You'll get through eventually.

Hugs to all of you who saw your little ones off to school recently. That must have been so hard.

As for Gwennie, I think she's really starting to confront that N isn't coming back. DH said she cried herself to sleep while I was at work today, and then she growled in her sleep. I've never known her to do that before. She's been better since I came home, but definitely mopey. I have to laugh when I read dumb articles off the internet about how "some people say pets grieve for other pets, but of course nobody can tell what they are thinking." Come over here and watch my dog cry, @ss#$@%, and I'll show you a dog with emotions. Idiots. Not only is she whining/crying vocally, but her nose was dripping too. She was asking to go out and check the yard every half hour or so but that seems to have slowed down.

DH of course is having a hard time, too, and Gwennie is definitely making it harder on him. I promised to take in that cat in a month or so, so we're getting a cat for sure, but we're almost certainly going to get another puppy as well. Gwennie definitely needs a companion and a cat just won't cut it, plus I have always felt my dogs were guard dogs as well as companions and Nero was so big he served as a great deterrent. G is more agressive and more likely to go after an intruder, but she's smaller and not physically as imposing. DH actually did a search yesterday for our ideal dog breed, with the top criteria being good with kids, a good guard dog, and long-lived for a larger breed. Apparently our ideal breed is a Cane Corso, which I know nothing about (and not my favorite looks-wise) but they are neat looking. Don't know if we can find one or if we'll just end up with a Rottweiler mix which is what I expected in the first place. I suspect it won't be long - and since the fertility stuff is taking longer than expected, it may be a better time for a puppy. We actually talked about getting one this summer, but I talked DH out of it because I didn't want three dogs and Nero wasn't moving around easily. Now that isn't an issue anymore.

And I thought my heart couldn't break for you any more Mandy. Reading about Gwennie's grieving just broke my heart right in two. That poor girl! Of course I hurt for you and your dh as well, but poor little Gwennie. :cry: It makes you wonder how much (or little?) they understand?

At this point I'm so concerned about Gwennie I don't have room to mourn Nero. I did that Monday. Right now I just want my little one to feel better. :cry:

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Originally Posted by Gwenn

At this point I'm so concerned about Gwennie I don't have room to mourn Nero. I did that Monday. Right now I just want my little one to feel better. :cry:

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:comfort: I don't blame you. You are their mother, for sure. Their needs come first.

Oh Mandy. :( But I do have to agree that if the fertility stuff is taking a while, it's a great time for a puppy. I'm glad that we got Molly when we did and have her a bit grown up before the baby comes. Plus taking care of a puppy was VERY distracting for a good six months or so. now if we got a baby, it wouldn't be too bad....another six months and she will be pretty perfect I think. Don't think I will do a puppy again until the child is in grade school.

Don't know anything about Cane Corso's....will have to look them up. My absolute favorite are border collies. I would get one in a second if Dh and I were active people. Maybe if we end up with a really active kid, we would consider that. Otherwise I have also considered soft coated wheaten terriers. Also love the look of a husky but really probably not the right fit for us. But really I could see us going with maybe an american eskimo....if we didn't end up with another poodle mix.
I used to babysit at a house that had the sweetest rottweiler....definitely a guard looking dog!

Oh Mandy, I'm so sorry you have to go through all this.

I know you did not ask, but please reconsider getting a Corso. They are extremely, extremely, extremely serious dogs. I've met several lovely examples of the breed, and these are the type of dogs that a stranger does not approach, period. They are wonderful, loving family pets, but deeply suspicious of people not in their immediate circle, are extremely powerful dogs and completely willing to back their suspicion up with their teeth. Keep in mind that to a Corso, no one outside of the inner circle would be welcome, and that includes your extended family, friends, and your future child's playmates and their family. If you do choose to get one, do tons (TONS) of research, and be prepared to wait. There are lots of people out there breeding dogs with incorrect temperament, nd that's just a dog bite waiting to happen.

IMO, most people do not want a guard dog, one that is likely to act on its suspicion and use teeth. What most people do want is a dog that is a deterrent, which would be big, black dogs with a good alert bark. I hope you find the perfect dog/puppy for you.

I had to google Cane Corsos...I guess if I saw one irl I'd have assumed they were a bull dog of some sort. Very beautiful...and mean looking!

We have (or Rich does now) 2 German Shepherds that are not welcoming to anyone outside our immediate circle. More than once I was glad to have them. The worst was when the girls were all home from school (but still all teens...well, Syd would have been 11 or so) and they called me in a panic that a man was parked outside the house. He'd knocked but when they didn't answer he paced around outside his truck and didn't leave. Our driveway sat very far back from the road and there was no reason for him to be there. The dogs are almost always outside, and they were that day too but while I tried to convince Jesi to call 911, Bobbie was able to slip the back door open and invite them in. There is no way in hell anyone could have gotten to my girls with those dogs there.

I ended up calling 911 myself and the guy had just left before two undercover officers arrived. They found him quickly and it turned out he was with the gas company. They didn't tell us he was coming that day, but apparently he was sent to inspect the lines or something. Why he hung out for 45 minutes (that's how long he was there before he finally left) is anyones guess. But believe me, I was glad those dogs were there. They would have chewed on him while Jesi loaded her dad's shotgun. And yes, we talked about it while I was on the phone with her. She was ready.

Oh, I don't have any serious intention of getting a cane corso. If nothing else, it would be too hard to find one here as they aren't common. But I already have a super-attached doggie that is distrustful of anyone other than me or DH, and don't really want a second one. I know for a fact, though, that our dogs have spared us from being robbed (had a neighbor across the street robbed in broad daylight) and I want the security of knowing I have that deterrent and also some protection in a situation like you describe, Chrissy. I don't doubt a German shepherd would have kept those girls safe. We have a lot of creepy people hanging around here so it's a priority for me. I grew up with a Belgian Sheepdog and she was a great family dog but a serious deterrent. I'd love a dog like that but Belgians are hard to come by and I don't like German Shepherds particularly. Looks-wise I love the retriever breeds but Nero was the type to lick a stranger to death. A husky type might be good but I hear they aren't always good family dogs and their coats are too thick for the heat here.

Another time Syd got pool water in her eyes. She had tried to get in too soon after we'd treated it. My mom was watching the girls and when it happened, Syd started screaming. One of the German Shepherds actually broke through his compound and wouldn't let my mom near her because he thought she was hurting her. In that case, it wasn't ideal but it did make us feel good that he was that protective of her. We never had any doubt that they'd lay down their lives for our kids. They're both very old now, but I bet they'd still try.

I've volunteered with my local German Shepherd rescue for 11 years now. My next dog will likely be a Rottweiler, and my short list includes Dobermans. A Cane Corso is WAY too much dog for me, and is not for the average dog owner, IMO. The way I see it, anyone that is willing to break into a home with a large, scary looking dog, or is otherwise willing to approach one, is in all likelihood, also willing to use deadly force to get what they want. In final analysis, to me, it is simply not worth the effort to keep a dog that is a huge bite risk on the slight chance that they may in fact bite a bad guy and not my kid's friends.

We've never had any trouble keeping people away from our dogs. We simply say, "They'll bite you" and that deters them.

Ironically, when we were flooded last Sept. the one compound was quickly surrounded by water when the pond above us broke lose and we weren't home. Our neighbor "kid" (early 20's) who had never been near either dog before was able to go to him and rescue him. He took him to the safety of his own yard where they had one of those small outdoor cages. We did marvel that AJ didn't get bit, but they're extremely smart dogs. I think he knew AJ wasn't there to hurt him.

Aww... :wub:

When I was a little girl we had the belgian and a shih tzu. We lived on a dirt road and one day we were all (dogs and kids) out in the front yard. The little dog was close to the road and a car happened to come by (which might have happened 1-2 times per day so an unusual event). The Belgian ran all the way across our yard - we had a full acre and she was in the center of the property - so fast I could barely see her and herded him right out of the road before the car came. I was always a little in awe of her after that. Funny enough, my dad had got her as a show dog and never showed her because she wasn't smart enough...

Mandy, if you want a retriever looking dog that is not the kind to lick someone to death, consider a Chessie. Also keep in mind though that they are serious working dogs, and do best with a J-O-B.

http://www.cbrrescue.org/articles/dontbuy.htm

Thanks, Suja, I will look at the chessie. I know what you are saying about a bite risk and agree. I do practice the same strategy Chrissy does, though, and just keep Gwennie in the yard or on the screen porch when someone comes over, at least at first. She has never bitten anyone but I'm not risking it and I do warn people who come over that she has serious anxiety and doesn't trust others.

I think I'm overcautious on that front, Mandy. I know someone that had a seriously protective GSD. It was always put out in the yard when the kids' friends came over to play, but broke through a screen door and attacked a little boy who was wrestling with their son, having completely misinterpreted what was going on. The dog was PTS. The kid needed extensive reconstructive surgery.

You don't need a dog that will bite in order for it to be a deterrent. Big and black usually does it. And people with ill intent that will go after someone that has a large, imposing looking dog are also likely armed in such a way as to negate that threat. After all, dogs are no match for a gun.

What a horrible story! I'm so sorry for what that little boy went through. But yes, I agree with you on all counts.

True....I mean if I wanted to burgle a house, I would take the one without the barking dog (really even a smaller barking dog would deter a lot of people as the small ones can be the nastiest ones!).

What about this one? http://www.dogbreedinfo.com/bouvierdesflandres.htm Big and can be intimidating but good with kids.

Jennifer, that looks like a lot of grooming! He does seem like a sweetie, though.

Yeah I tend to like the fluffy long hair dogs. I'm sort of used to grooming....Cosmo goes probably about every 8 weeks to the groomer and Molly I do myself as so far it's just been mostly her face.

Trying to think of bigger dogs that aren't too fluffy being that you live in a hot hot hot area!

I'd love a Great Dane but DH says they don't live long enough so he doesn't want one.

Bouvs also fit into the 'Too Much Dog' category. Would you consider Schnauzers? Giants can be great dogs, and IME, nicer dogs than standards or minis. I love Briards, and have an extremely good contact in the breed, but that might also fit into the 'Too Much Dog/Too Much Hair' category.

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Originally Posted by Gwenn

I'd love a Great Dane but DH says they don't live long enough so he doesn't want one.

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Pan has choice words for DH, but I can't print them here (she's 11).

I knew someone who had standard schnauzers and they were very yippy and snappy. They liked me fine but I wasn't crazy about them and then their owner turned into an insane psychopath so I'm going with no on the schnauzers ... Just for past history.

Good for Pan, though. I'll pass those choice words on to DH.