Secular Confessions

Hey guys, I don't feel like I've had time to post in a few days! Yesterday was my first day at work but was just a teacher training day, so today was the first day working with kids. It was a great day today! I think I really like my class of kids. I worked a lot with them today on finding out their reading levels. It feels weird working at school and really enjoying what I do, like should I really be paid for doing something that doesn't seem like hard work? :) Oh, and one of those girls that I thought snubbed me the other day has turned out to be really nice on her own; I haven't seen the other girl since that day, but I'm glad that was not an issue.

Today was Travis' first day of school (what they call reception here-the equivalent to kinder in the USA) and I dropped him off at Breakfast club that is run at his school; he was fine when I left him, but as I walked out of the building, my eyes were stinging with tears because I knew it was all different for him and it takes him awhile to warm up to change. He was fine at breakfast club but didn't eat anything (because he insisted on eating at home when he first woke up as he does every day), but when the lady went to collect him at the end of the school day, he cried for 5 minutes because I wasn't there to collect him and he thought that he was going to have to go to his old daycare. He cheered up when he realized that he was going to be staying at school (they run the club on the school grounds), he was fine. When I picked him up, he was running around, pretending to race some cars. I picked him up a bit early today so he didn't get to have dinner with everyone; I wanted to be there early since it was his first day. He goes again tomorrow but his cousin Z will be there, too, so I think it will be easier for him having him there.

Cash has been fine with daycare; I think he is learning to not push people. I still feel really weird about the whole situation, though....like, I'm really working and the kids are in daycare/school.....sigh.

Wow. Hugs to all the mamas who are transitioning to being moms of school-age kiddos. It is a big deal. :hugs:

Mandy, I'm thinking of you so much with regards to your news about Nero on FB. The photo you posted at the door was so sweet; my eyes welled up. Big, huge, squeezy hugs to you. :comfort: Losing a furry friend has got to be one of the saddest things to have to cope with. I know how much you loved him, and I know he knew it too.

Hi Kate!!! Glad you are back.

Mandy, can't stop thinking about how sad that must be around your house right now. RIP Nero.

Bridget, that sounds like the school has reasonable policies. I hope that having Savana around helped Kai ease into the school a little better.

Mira did cry when she returned and saw that the other mom was there, but I wasn't. But, it was brief, she didn't seem too eager to see me when I went to pick her up, shook her teacher's hand good bye, and at least nodded when she said 'I'll see you tomorrow'.

Gotta ask you something. I'm not sure if I'm just being nit picky or not, but the teacher sent a short note today introducing herself, and it has typos, incorrect grammer, syntax, etc.

Examples:

"age's 3 through 12"
"impowers"
Incorrect usage of a semicolon

This bothers me a lot. I'm not really sure why, because it is not like your average 3 year old is going to pick up poor language skills on the basis of that, right?

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Suja

Gotta ask you something. I'm not sure if I'm just being nit picky or not, but the teacher sent a short note today introducing herself, and it has typos, incorrect grammer, syntax, etc.

Examples:

"age's 3 through 12"
"impowers"
Incorrect usage of a semicolon

This bothers me a lot. I'm not really sure why, because it is not like your average 3 year old is going to pick up poor language skills on the basis of that, right?

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That would irritate me, but I don't think I'd say anything since it's not like the kids are school-aged.

Oh, Mandy I did not know about Nero. I have been off of the tech-y machines for the long weekend until today. So sorry to hear about him big hugs to you.

I hope all the first day of schoolers have a good day their first day.

I had a long, non-relaxing long weekend. I took Ky to the robot battles at Dragon Con since it was only $30 on Monday as it was the last day. We had a good time there and I think he got some good info on making a battle robot - remote controlled and not autonomous as he doesn't want to deal with autonomous robots right now and would prefer something simple. He is going to see if a friend of his from school who lives in the neighborhood and who also is into robots and tearing things up wants to make it with him. He has some good ideas for the design.

I let Ky go over the above friend's house on Saturday by himself for 1.5 hours. Even though I know the family, I am mistrustful of them because the dad is a priest and I now associate priests with sexual abuse since that Catholic scandal and others. It doesn't help that I just finished reading "The Kid" by Sapphire, the one who wrote the book "Precious" which is about Precious' son and he was abused by priests. It was a very difficult book to get through and actually made me speak to Ky more....I'll say graphically than I would like to about what rape is and about the things that people do to kids and why I am so persistent on him being extra cautious when out and about amongst others. I sent him with our pre-paid cell phone and he said all he did over there was use a sledge hammer with is friend and his friend's younger brother outside and bust up old radios and other electronics LOL! So he spent the whole time outside and I was happy about that. I was also happy he didn't hit himself on the foot with the hammer.

On Sunday I went against my better judgement to a House music festival at a local park that DH wanted to go to, and which I didn't. For some reason here, anytime there is an event at a public park, the city will close all entrances to the park, forcing attendees to park in the neighborhood and make horrific traffic. We ended up having to hike about a mile to the picnic and being that I didn't want to go in the first place (I don't like picnics all that much, plus it was over 90 degrees and over 80% humidity out) that made it extra horrible for me. Then DH decided to wander off and go dance for 2 hours and I could not find him so I started packing up and hiked the mile back to the car and packed the first load and DH came back and saw Ky sitting with the rest of our stuff and got mad because I was planning on leaving him and taking his cell phone. I know it sounds mean, but really, we had made a deal that if I came, we would leave at 4pm, we'd been there since noon, by the time I started packing up it was 5pm and he was nowhere to be seen and had left his cell phone so I couldn't call him, even though he said it wasn't on purpose. I don't believe him. So he was going on and on like he does and I had to get loud with him and tell him he'd better shut the hell up, and he did and has been apologetic to me because he knows he was wrong. But that basically ruined my weekend. My body still hurts from all the hiking, while carrying 40-50lbs of stuff one way and Elle on my shoulders the other way in 90 degree heat. He knows I loathe most outdoor activities and knew he knows he was in the wrong and I am still kind of peeved that he left me like that. I know now not to be nice and go places with him that he wants to go to. This is not a new thing for him as he has frequently begged me to go places with him, and wants me to bring the kids, even though none of us want to go but we go and he ends up complaining we are boring and leaves us to go have fun with other people - usually strangers and we are left to suffer boredom or discomfort in a place we never even wanted to go. He likes to point out that he goes places with us he doesn't want to go to, but the difference is I never beg him to go and honestly don't care if he comes or not. Plus he has a bad attitude and will ruin a trip for us so most of the time I'd rather he not go and I just tell him about our plans to be nice lol!

He wants me to go camping next month with him, and I have told you ladies what I feel about camping - not my thing and after this I have made up my mind that I'm not going to go with him so he can potentially leave me in the wilderness somewhere.

Erin

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AmeriBrit

That would irritate me, but I don't think I'd say anything since it's not like the kids are school-aged.

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Yeah, I'm not saying anything. I wouldn't even know what to say or how to approach it so the teacher wouldn't be offended. As it is, they probably think that I'm overly fussy and a hovercraft, and don't want to add to it that I might have a stick up where the sun don't shine.

Oh ERin that would have really, REALLY ticked me off!
Suja, that note would bother me not so much because she has the chance to teach poor grammar and spelling to the children but because it is unprofessional to not edit and make sure it is all correct. It is actually a pet peeve of mine in the early childhood field because in that field you will hear a lot of complaints that are not treated like real teachers and instead like babysitters. At the center I worked at, my co-teacher for a short amount of time was always so adamant about being called a teacher but I'm not kidding you when I say she spelled 80% of what she wrote wrong. Like "comeing" and "nisely". Everything was phonetic. I think it was clear that she had a learning disability but I think if you wanted to be treated like a professional you have to take the time to be sure you are acting like one.

Yeah, good policy, Suja. I feel the same as Ash. But helicopter away, otherwise. As you were, soldier.

Erin, the dad's a priest? A Catholic priest? And a dad? And a priest? How did that work out? Is he still a priest?

And fwiw, I'd still be mad if I were you about having to lug everything back to the car when you didn't even want to be there in the first place. I hope he keeps kissing your behind for putting you through that. Tell him you'll go camping with him if, by camping, he means going to a heavily wooded spa. LOL.

Grammatical errors (simple ones, anyway) drive me up the wall. I do wish all teachers had the same standards, like it shouldn't matter if they teach K or high school, they should know the basics.
Just today I had to look up what a split infinitive is because I've seen so many people complain about their use and I wasn't sure if I use them or even what they are. I liked how the page I found used a Star Trek reference ("to boldly go where no man has gone before").

Erin, we have similar issues with DH wanting to do stuff as a family but his idea of a family outing is to go do errands all together. Sorry I'm not excited about the excursion to Home Depot. LOL
He did say I get to pick the vacation we go on next year (because I complained that NYC was too much walking and not exciting enough for Josh) Any ideas??
I'd skip the camping unless it's fairly cushy camping.

Oh, I like Myles' thinking on this, Erin. Go to a wooded spa. He camps in the woods, while you camp in the spa. Win-win.

Bridget, I think that you've put your finger on it. IMO, people calling themselves educators outght to know how to read for comprehension, write grammatically correct English, and have a good grasp of the fundamentals of math.

Kate, NYC was not exciting enough? UR Doin' it WRONG!!! I think that a 6 year old would LOVE some place like Yellowstone, but I'm very much a nature girl, and drawn to outdoorsy things.

My DH for whatever reason has it in his head that we have to do *everything* together. I'm completely okay with going to Home Depot with him, but don't tell me we're just going to get the salt for the softener and then go home. What did I drag myself out there for, if I can't look at the tiles and model kitchens and whatnot? So, HD trips are now daddy-daughter bonding times, while mama gets to sleep in or take a bath without being interrupted 30000 times.

Welcome back Kate! I'm glad you're back!

Ash, it sounds like y'all had a great start to a new life! Woo hoo! I'm glad you like your job and the other girl turned out to be sweet. Perhaps she was just shy & nervous when you first met her.

Erin, I'd be furious too! I don't mind the heat or being outside like that, but when we did stuff with the kids I did expect Rich to be helpful. Most the time he was.

Suja, honestly I don't think I'd notice. I don't know what teachers are thinking (if they are at all?) when they write notes but I always assume they were in a hurry or maybe a parent/helper actually wrote it. Unless it were part of a lesson plan, I don't edit (even mentally) any communications between myself and the school.

Rich stopped in after work and we talked about feeling so sad about Conner starting kindergarten tomorrow. I really hope he's not picking up on this from us. He seems really excited to start, so I don't think he has. My neighbor boy is starting K tomorrow too and Conner went right over & introduced himself. They had a good talk about school and where they were going to go and the things they were going to learn. It was so darned cute! Unfortunately, I live in a different elementary district than Conner does so they won't be going to the same school. The positive side is, yet again I saw Conner approach a little boy his size and introduce himself and start a conversation. I don't have to worry about him being shy or not making friends. I do worry about it, but I don't have to. :P

Chrissy, the note is typed up, so I would assume that a spell checker/grammar checker would've caught most of the flaws (there was a very obvious typo there too, which doesn't bother me much). It couldn't have taken her more than 10 minutes to put the thing together. Another 5, and it would've read correctly too. I don't know, maybe I'm reading too much into it because I think that people form impressions of you based on how you write, and tend to be extremely careful in my professional communications.

I don't know why I'm surprised, but the email address given as her contact is incorrect. I bet I know what's wrong, but I'll just bring it to her attention anyway.

NYC was fun but he was pooped from all the walking and DH isn't very patient so it always felt like we were dragging Josh along to the next thing. It was funny because DH was coaching *me* on how we were going to be relaxed and not pushy because DH took Josh alone to Tennessee when I was on the cruise, so I guess DH thought he was the vacation expert--and then he went ahead and was pushy. DH wanted to do mostly things that he would like (although they did end up being fun for Josh like the sea, air and space museum and the Museum of Natural History) and we went to the Lego store and saw some characters in Times Square like Spiderman. I think maybe something other than a big city would be fun. I wish we all liked the beach more so we could go somewhere tropical and have fun but I can see us all getting bored and sunburned quick.

Speaking of miscommunication I just got back from meeting Josh's soccer coach. It was raining so all the teams were crowded under the small overhang at the field and we couldn't find his coach. At the last minute we did but we missed the rest of the kids who had already come and gone. Oh well!

Myles, I don't think the guy is a Catholic priest. Maybe he's just a preacher or something. I have heard from neighbors that he has a church in the neighborhood. Our neighborhood has a lot of churches though of many different vareties. He talks about his church a lot and me, being non-religious, I don't talk to him about it, I let him talk to other people about it. His son and Ky are in the same grade and go to the same school and they are really close friends so I don't want his parents to all the sudden say he can't hang with the heathen boy lol! The mom is pretty weird IMO as well. She always wears black dresses, like in the Amelia Bedelia books. She also always looks like she is afraid, even at school and she rarely comes out of the house as far as I can tell, the dad does everything for their kids. He also is a part of the carpool for school and takes a lot of kids to school. He was one of the co-coaches of the robotics team last year, so I got to know their family really well as we had meetings at each other's houses for hours on end and socialized a lot while the kids worked out programming issues, mostly Ky and his son as they were the programmers on the team for our robot.

Just any religious man I feel I have developed a prejudice for, due to me falling prey to the media portraying them as molesters so often. I think it is unfair and he more than likely is not an abuser of any kind, so I am trying to pull my mind out of that literal gutter, but regardless, I think the wife is strange though the boys are great kids, which is what I told myself so I wouldn't worry about Ky over there. He has been to their house before during robotics but it was our whole team of kids there and he has also gone over there with his bigger cousins when they visit, this was the first time I let him visit by himself. I think next time I'll go get another of his cousins to go with him. Another boy from the neighborhood was also over visitng, he is in Ky's class at school and he goes over there all the time so I wasn't really worried about him due to other company. I am happy they were playing outside though.

Oh, and I have told DH before that if we go "camping" we'd have to rent a cabin with an HVAC system and electricity and if he wants, he and Ky can sleep outside and I'll stay in the cabin. He said that wasn't camping and doesn't want to rent a cabin, that we could save the money and do it the traditional way. I told him I'd think about it but now when he asks again I'm going to say no. I will have the urge to stick out my tongue and go "neenerneeneerneeeeeeneeeeerrr" and repeat in a sing song voice "I'm not going." But that would be mean lol!

Erin

:laugh: Erin! I can just see you going "neener neener neener" at your husband! I'd almost feel sorry for him, except ditching you was a crappy thing to do so I don't blame you for not wanting to camp. I don't get what the big deal is about camping in a cabin. I think it's just as fun. The ones in Old Forge are just $90/night and they're very nice. It's one room with a bunk bed and a double bed, heating, AC, and electrical. I want to rent one for xmas some year. They have larger ones where at least the master bedroom is separate. They call them cottages.

I love the Ky is the programmar. :wub:

Ash, I am glad to hear things are going well at the job. I was hoping those women would lighten up. I know that I have often been told by people that they thought I was a snob at first meeting me because I am so quiet at first. In fact, I was just told that this weekend by someone.

I think today went well. Savana and Kai were both so hungry and thirsty when I picked them up. Kai said that he asked his teacher for a drink a few times and she said it wasn't the time for that. Those are the little tidbits that bug me, you know? I really think that a drink of water should be whenever a child is thirsty. I actually think kids should have a water bottle with them all day. Especially when it is so hot and no a/c in the school. I always have water bottles for all my daycare kids all day so that when they are thirsty they drink. I don't think a child should have to even ask for water. It's a basic need. Like air. Plus, Kai really is thirsty a lot. He even said they have a bubbler in the classroom so I do not see why they can't just drink whenever. I'm sure at first kids would get up all the time but the novelty would wear off eventually. I'm not trying to make a big deal about nothing but it's just an example of how sometimes adults get so caught up in rules and schedules that we forget to just treat them like humans for goodness sake. When you are thirsty you drink and on one hand we tell children to listen to their bodies but only when it is convenient for us? Ok, I'm done.

Otherwise they both seemed to like everything but it's all so new I think they are just absorbing it. Savana said every day without me feels like a year. Kind of like when I left on saturday to spend the afternoon with my girlfriends she actually took my hand and let one of her tears drop into it and told me to take it with me. Lol. She feels everything SO deeply.

Has anyone heard from Mandy outside of the facebook post about Nero? Mandy, if you're reading quietly, we're here for you and feeling so sad you lost your furry love.

I'm here reading quietly. The saddest part of all this is seeing poor Gwennie wondering where her brother is. She has serious abandonment issues (came from a litter of 13 and watched all her litter mates disappear one by one, never to be seen again). She has never liked to be alone. On rare occasions when I have separated the two of them she has always destroyed everything she could get to. She adored Nero, too, and now she is the only pet left. She is whining and searched the yard for him, and now she planted herself by the food dish so if he came to eat she could see him. So sad.

I feel so bad I didn't realize how sick he was. I've been reading up on his condition and apparently it often goes unnoticed until the dog just gets so weak that he collapses. Looking back he had all the signs and we really thought he was having mobility issues (his back legs were stiff, which isn't a symptom). The main sign is weakness and lethargy, and he was definitely struggling to stand up and spent more time lying around and sleeping than usual. But he was loving, and playful, and hungry. And interested in what was happening up until yesterday and I just didn't think a dog who was eating and playing and alert was fatally ill. Recently when I came home from work he would come up to me and put his nose in my face as if to say he loved me. I just keep thinking he was trying to tell me he was sick when he did that and I wasn't paying attention.

ETA: Poor Gwennie just made herself vomit, she is so upset.

great big (((hugs))) Mandy. To you and Gwennie. I feel so awful for you. My heart is aching.

Bridget, I agree that kids should be able to get a drink when they feel the need for one. I don't remember being told by a school to listen to my body though. Food, drink, potty time were all dictated to us. We had to stand in line for a drink after recess and the teacher would count "one, two, three" and your turn was up. That's all we got (aside from lunch and snack time that is). I hope your kid's school isn't that strict.

Tomorrow is our big day. I am forcing myself to hold it together till the bus is out of sight. I cannot count how many times I've had to verbally say that to myself. Conner is excited. I need to be happy for his sake.

Mandy, please don't beat yourself up over this. Hemangio is a nasty, nasty disease, and is often not caught until much too late. I've had way too many friends lose their dogs to it (including a TWO year old). You did nothing wrong. You missed nothing. It's just the nature of the disease.

Bridget, Mira's class requires all kids to either bring a bottle of water from home, or at least an empty water bottle. They drink when they're thirsty. It doesn't make any sense to me to deprive kids of water, of all things. Can you talk to the teacher about this?

Oh Mandy, my heart is going out to you, your DH, and poor Gwennie right now. It must be so hard for her to miss her brother.

And Bridget, you should bring up the water issue. I remember you speaking about how thirsty Kai gets and I don't think it is healthy to deprive a child of a drink either, especially when it is still officially summer and if there is not AC in the building. Kids can fall prey to dehydration very quickly.

Even though GA is backwards in a lot of areas, they are always adamant about getting enough fluids at school, because it is so hot here. Elle also brings a water bottle to school even though they have a water fountain in her classroom. Ky had a water fountain in his classroom in kindergarten and all the kids were allowed to get water as long as they raised their hands a certain way, I think it was 3 fingers, that meant they wanted some water and weren't just getting up to disrupt the class. They also had bathrooms for all the kindergartener class rooms, two rooms shared a bathroom, kind of like the bathroom was in between the two classrooms. They would hold up 1 finger for potty time. I would probably suggest something like that for the school.

And Chrissy hugs to you!

I am hoping Conner has a great first day at school. I bet he is super excited and will have a great time but I understand your sentiments in that it is bitter sweet for you being he is your last baby.

Erin

Mandy, try not to blame yourself. I know it's hard but honestly from the way you talk on here you are one of the most loving, in tune with your dog, dog owners I have ever met.

Sawyer got stung by a bee last night on the top and bottom of his foot. I feel so bad for him! The bees in our front yard are awful this year since the drought they are very thirsty and the kids always have the garden hose filling up any container around so the bees all come and hang out.

Kate nice to see you back!

Glad to hear that so far all the back to school stuff is going smoothly enough. I don't know that I would want the kids carrying water bottles....would be so easy to drink out of each others and spread germs. But they should be able to drink from the fountain as needed.

Yikes I was listening to my aunt talking about my cousins class. He just started 3rd grade and there is a child in the class that is severely allergic to peanuts, wheat, soy, diary, eggs and maybe one other thing. So the entire class of over 30 kids has a LOT of rules to follow. Wash faces after breakfast, wash hands everytime they enter the class, wash before snack, wash after snack, have a change of clothes on hand in case they spill milk in the cafeteria, snacks are limited to 10 specific items...one of which is lays potato chips (certain kind and only individiual bags)...same with a certain kind of fritio...only clemitine oranges, certain kind of fruit rollup. Oh and parents are supposed to wash hands before entering the class...sanitizer isn't good enough.
My aunt has raynauds and has to be really careful about her hands temperatures so she's not happy about that and I see her refusing to do it. In general while we all feel for this kid and his family, it seems like it's beyond reasonable accommadations. I have heard of peanut allergy being that severe but not the others. And I would not want to be sending chips as the snack (if not don't send the 10 approved items....they will charge the parents $12 a month and give those specific items to your child). And while hand washing is great.....how much time is that going to take from learning when you have over 30 kids washing at least 6-10 times in a day?

Oh Mandy my heart hurts for you. And for Gwennie and your DH. Do you think you might try to find her a new buddy? I worry a lot about that with Molly...she will have been with Cosmo since she was 8 weeks old and tomorrow Cosmo turns 9. Not sure I really want to do two at once again but don't want Molly to feel lonely and sad. I am hoping that by than we will have a child and Molly attaches strongly to the child.
And do not feel bad that you didn't know he was getting sick....I didn't know what that was but when I saw the symptoms, they are so general and if I saw Cosmo doing any of them, I would just assume that it was normal aging.

Poor Sawyer! Bee stings are awful! I suppose bug sprays don't work against them.

Chrissy, saw the pics on FB. Conner looks so thrilled! And that picture of him with Rich is just lovely. I hope he'll have a great day in school, and you're holding up okay.

I was talking to Mira this morning about school, and asked her what she did yesterday. She said "I cried, Mommy! I missed you and wanted to see you. Don't go to work". Poor pumpkin! And then she proceeded to tell me that she's going to cry in school when I leave because she misses me. Fortunately, she didn't. She was kind of busy with "work".

Oh gosh, if Conner tells me he cried at school I'll lose it! I'm ok now after I had my good cry once he got on the bus. I'm such a wuss.

Chrissy, I feel heartless sometimes, making her go when she's asking me to take her to work with me, or to stay home with her mama. Left to her own devices, she would be my shadow to the exclusion of practically everyone else, and that's not healthy either. I need her to form attachments to other people, have the opportunity to do things away from me, and know that I'll always be there for her, I'll always come and get her. I was exactly like her as a kid, a total mama's girl. I was devastated when I had to started kindergarten; I still remember my first day (My mom was a SAHM, and I spent every waking minute with her). I think that if my parents hadn't pushed me out of my comfort zone, I would likely never have gone to school, or at least not until I was 8 or 9. Would've been completely content in our own little world, making mud pies.

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Originally Posted by Suja

I think that if my parents hadn't pushed me out of my comfort zone, I would likely never have gone to school, or at least not until I was 8 or 9. Would've been completely content in our own little world, making mud pies.

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:laugh: My heart says...what's wrong with that? But intellectually I know better. This is just one of the rough things about being a good parent. You make them go even if it makes them cry and hurts your heart.

Chrissy I watched the video you posted on fb of him getting on the bus and it made *me* cry! That does not bode well for myself and Josh's experience on Monday. LOL
I keep telling myself it'll be good for both of us for him to go off to K. I'm really not all broken up about it...yet.

Do any of you have good remedies (medicinal or herbal or even relaxation techniques, I'll take anything) for nervous stomach or anxiety? I think I get anxiety about work. It's never been this bad before. I think it's mainly because I don't have access to a bathroom while I'm on the bus and the delicate nature of my insides makes that difficult sometimes, as I've mentioned. I think I work myself up so much worrying about needing to use the bathroom, that I make myself sick. I wake up in the morning and before I even get a chance to think about it, I feel nauseous or gassy. I got so worked up this morning I had to call out. This is not good!

I also had to switch GP's (my insurance doesn't cover mine anymore) so I plan on talking to this new one about this, too. That's not until mid October, though.

Awww, Kate. :comfort: Maybe you'll be so secure in the knowledge that school is a good thing that it just won't get you. But probably not. We can hope!

I wish I had good advice about the anxiety thing. Oct isn't toooo far off, but if you have to call out from work, yeah, that could be a problem.