Secular Confessions

Not crazy at all, Bridget. He seemed to agree with what you said just to defer having an argument with you, and then he turned around and did what he pleased. DH & I agree with you on the whole topic, btw. Video games are a slippery slope for people. Full disclosure: I bought my first Wii last Xmas for dance games (and it turns out we mainly use it for Netflix streaming nowadays), but I've dated and am related to guys who can spend all weekend without sleeping/showering because they were sucked into video games. I don't want to be judgy because I have my weird habits that probably look like time-wasters to other people, and DH & I do spend time in front of our favorite shows before bed most nights, but I nevertheless have a very hard time relating to that much time spent in front of a screen for recreation.

Even if he didn't misrepresent himself in this, the fact is you two had an agreement. If he had 2nd thoughts, the FIRST thing he should have done was talk to you, alone, about it. "Hey honey, I've been thinking..." That kinda thing.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by missychrissy

tricked/manipulated. Kinda the same thing. And yes, he did. :( And does.

---

Yes.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by missychrissy

Even if he didn't misrepresent himself in this, the fact is you two had an agreement. If he had 2nd thoughts, the FIRST thing he should have done was talk to you, alone, about it. "Hey honey, I've been thinking..." That kinda thing.

---

This. I mean he could agree in theory but than change his mind about something. We all do that. But it should be talked about between the two of you.

And while i don't have a problem with video games (and really I do think that limited amounts of time can be great for learning...a lot of our younger surgeons that are the best are ones that grew up gaming).....I would have a problem with them just WATCHING a shooting game. If they were playing together a game that is kid friendly, different story for me at least.

It is definitely wrong that he didn't talk to you about it. And I agree with Jennifer, sitting watching a shooting game on a nice summer day. So not right.

My brother and sil are the poster children for bad gaming parents. They preferred their son inside playing video games instead of outside playing. Which I think is crazy and so wrong. When my nephew started kindy, he was so sad that he had to leave his video games. He was 5 years old!!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Cosmosmom

This. I mean he could agree in theory but than change his mind about something. We all do that. But it should be talked about between the two of you.

And while i don't have a problem with video games (and really I do think that limited amounts of time can be great for learning...a lot of our younger surgeons that are the best are ones that grew up gaming).....I would have a problem with them just WATCHING a shooting game. If they were playing together a game that is kid friendly, different story for me at least.

---

We all have different approaches to this, but whether it's gaming or eating McDonalds or whatever agreement...the fact remains they had one. It should have been discussed before he did anything contrary to what they'd agreed to.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by raspberry

It is definitely wrong that he didn't talk to you about it. And I agree with Jennifer, sitting watching a shooting game on a nice summer day. So not right.

My brother and sil are the poster children for bad gaming parents. They preferred their son inside playing video games instead of outside playing. Which I think is crazy and so wrong. When my nephew started kindy, he was so sad that he had to leave his video games. He was 5 years old!!

---

Conner will do this sometimes, but he's absolutely fine once he's outside. And he's gotten genuinely angry when he starts losing, at which point we make him take a break (usually for a whole day, but we never tell him it's going to be that long or else it'll be a HUGE battle).

This is one of those things that I said I'd never, ever do. And then did. I allow Conner to play games. In moderation, of course. And when I watch him start a computer, log in with a password, open Firefox and go directly to the bookmark he wants (and he has about 50 of them), I know for us we did the right thing. But it's not for everybody. And I talked about it with Rich before I hooked him up to his first game. Rich always went along with what I wanted, but I didn't just set out and do it either.

I received another awesome update from Molly. Mommy & baby are doing well, and he has a GREAT latch. :D

She also bestowed on me the honor of sharing his name and first pics with all of you. Meet Baby Micah River, 8lbs 4 oz, 20 inches. I love both his first and middle name: :wub:

http://s419.photobucket.com/albums/p...t=photo-69.jpg http://s419.photobucket.com/albums/p...t=photo-71.jpg

(I'm doing this from my phone, so if the pics don't show up, try these links...)

http://s419.photobucket.com/albums/p...t=photo-71.jpg

http://s419.photobucket.com/albums/p...t=photo-69.jpg

Oh, so cute! Welcome, baby Micah!

having trouble with the pics, but I love the name!

Beautiful! Both of them! :wub:

:wub: :wub: :wub: Adorable name and adorable baby boy!!!

I just learned my coworker's wife had her baby last night/early this morning too. :wub:

Great day for babies!

Molly! :wub:

He is super cute Molly and you look great too!!!! Awwwww! I love his name!

And Mandy, let me know when your convention is! Excited at the opportunity to meet IRL! Most conventions are held downtown where I work.

Erin

I'm just doing a running post (not literally!) but wanted to say I love Molly's baby's name and he is one precious baby! Congrats again, Molly! I'll try to log back in once the kids are in bed! I must tell you all about the horse races last night, etc.

Finally got to see the pics. Awwww...Such a sweet little squishie!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Ky'sMom

And Mandy, let me know when your convention is! Excited at the opportunity to meet IRL! Most conventions are held downtown where I work.

---

It's the week before Thanksgiving, at the Georgia World Congress Center. I have never been to Atlanta, so I have no idea about where anything is. I'm not sure I can afford to go, but I'm setting it as a loose goal for myself.

Molly your bundle is precious!! Congrats again!

He's very cute Molly! :)

Good morning, everyone! Cash and I are up while Travis and DH are still asleep....oh, scratch that, I hear footsteps upstairs....so, we're all up except DH now! :D

So, the night at the races. Oh, wait. I think Cash has pooed. Just a second, y'all.....

OK. Right. So, we went to the races with my SIL, her SIL, her friend and their husbands. The races were fine; there were only 6 races and we only bet on 3. Each time we bet, though, we backed the horse that came in very last! LOL. Good thing we were only betting pennies on them! The ladies were all sharing sparkling rose wine (which we all sarcastically called pink champagne). All the girls got drunk pretty fast (except for me since I do not gulp down alcohol like they do-apprarently, DH says it's a cultural thing since it's what kids here do from the time they're 16 while I grew up out in the country drinking sodie pop! lol). My SIL is a character when she is not drunk, so when she is drunk, she is a maniac character type person. I'm sure you could hear her shouting in her high-pitched voice a mile away. When the races were over, we walked up in to town, where all the young'ns go to get their party on. Our group is 30+ with the oldest being 45, so we were a little out of place! DH and I both said that we feel like everyone in the group is trying to hang on to that part of their youth and we have no interest in it at all. We never did, really.

So, we went to a few bars together and then we split up in to guys and girls so that the guys could chat at a quiet pub and the girls went across the road to dance at one of the bars.....and I'm sure I told y'all that I don't dance, so that was just dreadful. I have no ounce of rhythm in my body, so I just hopped around a bit while the other ladies showed off their crazy dance moves and that made me feel even more alienated than I already feel some times. So, we caught up with the boys after that who said they wanted to go for food, so we ended up walking to an Indian restaurant. Along the way, there was a supermarket shopping cart on the sidewalk, so SIL's SIL got in and we pushed her along. When SIL's BIL saw his wife in the shopping cart, he went ballistic, shouting at her that she looked ridiculous and she should get out right away. So, that caused an atmosphere then because SIL's SIL then sat there during the meal with tears in her eyes and SIL's BIL was an as s to her after that the whole night. Then, SIL's friend had been banging on and on about 'Mr. Christian Grey' from that 50 Shades of Grey book all night, so the conversation turned to hand cuffs and again, SIL's BIL went on a tirade about how he'd handcuffed his wife before and she denied it, which ended with him shouting for the whole restaurant to hear that he swore on his children's lives that he'd handcuffed her (He really is a slimey character!) DH and I are so not like these people at all! We don't need to chat about sex with other couples or act childish to have a good time. We got home at 2am and we both said that would probably be our last time doing something like that. We have better things to do with our time!

But as I said earlier about the cultural differences, the whole thing has made me think about how different I am to most girls here. Rich says I am better off with the boys since I actually have a brain and use it instead of acting ditzy. I wish I had more in real life friends who were a bit more like me.

Oh Ash I was hoping your night at the races was fun. Did you share pics of your dress and hair and makeup? Your post sounds like something I would write, I also cannot dance and I would have hated the entire vibe of the night. I hate that whole ditzy angle some girls use. Well I guess some are not pretending.

I have found it hard to find friends that are like me where we are currently living. And I have been here 10 years! It was so much easier when I was in school. But adulthood, working in small offices, it's hard to find kindred spirits.

Ash, that sounds like a heck of a night! I can totally see myself feeling just like you. But dbf, on the other hand, he gets all wild and crazy and loud when he drinks too. Now I used to be that way but now I just don't have the energy nor the inclination!

Yesterday we were supposed to take our pontoon out. The kids were super excited (so was I, actually) and the darn battery was dead! Oh, the disappointment! The kids were gazing longingly at the boathouse (where the video machine is, which is an Xbox btw and not a wii). I asked them if we should go rent a movie and they're like, "Nooooo" and they NEVER say no to a movie so I knew they were angling for the dam video games. I don't want to always be this spoilsport for them so I caved and we played a game that was a bunch of different adventures. You actually are standing and moving the whole time and it takes pics of you while your doing it. I have to admit that it was pretty fun and the kids were cool about ending it on the time limit that I set. The only part that was annoying was dbf constantly trying to sell me on the value of the game. "Oh, this one is great for hand eye coordination" or when they were wanting to choose a new avatar he'd be like, "AVATAR and spell it outloud A-V-A-T-A-R" Oh, my eyes were about to roll right out of my head! What a spelling lesson eh? lol! When were walking back up to the house he started in with how it's so great for their coordination and I was like, "Look, it was fun ok. But you are not going to sell me on this. If you are so concerned about hand/eye coordination then go across the street and kick the soccer ball with Kai or bounce the basketball with Savana", both things they love they to do that he never makes time to do with them. I never would have even said that if he would have stopped yammering on and on about how great the games are for them. He is a trip.

As far as making friends, I agree it's hard to find kindred spirits. I can get along with almost anyone but to really connect with someone is pretty rare for me.

:( Oh Ash-that sounds like a nightmare. Well, the dancing and riding in a shopping cart I could see myself enjoying. But her dh yelling at her? That would have been game on for me. I would have shrieked at him like a shrew (I'm pretty sure) and left. I wouldn't have tried to continue the night. And wth about him being so adamant about handcuffing her? I feel bad for her. For me, that would be a deal breaker for sure. Whatever I do as far as that goes is personal and I wouldn't stand for my partner announcing it to the world. Especially like that. What an ass.

Rich & I aren't talking. I did something stupid and hooked up with my former boss and Rich found out. I wouldn't have told him unless we were going to get back together, but someone else thought he should know. And my kids. So Syd and Jesi are furious with me and won't talk to me either. What a mess.

Ah, Chrissy. I'm sorry, my dear.

Ash, your evening sounds like a nightmare. I would have reacted the same way you did. And I agree, it's hard to meet kindred spirits, especially when you're an adult.

Chrissy, :hugs:

I hope you are ok, Chrissy! Been thinking of you all day.

Savana is licking her fingers again and along with that she is very moody and out of sorts, her 6 year molars are growing in. I'm at a loss. I do not know the trigger for these behaviors and it's maddening. Dbf suggests we cut out sugar. She is a bit of a junk food junkie. It's all "real food" but sugar nonetheless.

I'm ok Bridget. I spent the say at my dad's. I told him and he's being supportive. So is his wife, actually, but that is likely so she can get details to repeat to others. :P Sorry, that's probably mean but I've dealt with her for 17 years.

Could Savana's behavior been triggered by anything dbf said/did? Maybe she's picking up on the undercurrents around the xbox/wii/whatever game system. I'm just tossing out ideas. It could be food related too. Poor girl. Does it bother her, or doesn't she realize she's doing it?

I don't think it is specifically the video game thing but I it could quite possibly have to do with stress as a result of our lack of consistency in parenting.:( It will be interesting to see how she does if/when he begins to travel for work. It does bother her. She says she can't help it.

I'm glad your dad is being supportive. Goodness knows you're a tough cookie, but you need that.

This one I can't even get upset about. I brought it all on myself. My girls are blaming my former boss for my breakup with their dad. Ugh. The frustrating part is they're so angry (rightly so) that there's no talking to them. They're going to believe what they want for now. And they're not wanting to see me for a very, very long time.

Bobbie is indifferent. She's in the 'whatever makes you happy' camp. But the other two..geesh. It's going to be rough, but I brought this one on myself so I can't really be upset with them. I can only ride it out.

Chrissy - Not to be nosy (ok, totally to be nosy) but is this the same boss from the job you recently left? I'm sorry it's caused such turmoil...stay strong. You know you're going to come out of this whole situation a much stronger woman.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by dana_renay

Chrissy - Not to be nosy (ok, totally to be nosy) but is this the same boss from the job you recently left? I'm sorry it's caused such turmoil...stay strong. You know you're going to come out of this whole situation a much stronger woman.

---

Yeah, that would be the one. We've stayed friends and meet almost every week for lunch. And talk almost daily via chat or email. He was just as surprised as I was.