crazy thoughts

[althoffjm]

with my daughter we had a lot of complications. I had severe toxemia/pre-eclampsia that turned into the HELLP syndrome. It was an awful delivery(pushed for 3 hours only to end in a c-section because she was in distress) and my daughter had such a traumatic experience that she had to be transferred to an NICU for 10 days...Then at 3 months postpartum I got pregnant with my son and the pregnancy was a breeze aside from the fact that I had to have a repeat c-section and went into labor at 37 weeks...but he was 7 1/2lbs and 21 inches, healthy and fine...when he was 5 months old we got the call that one one would want to get...he stopped breathing at daycare and no one got his heart beating again...so on September 4th we lost our precious son. In December we started TTC again because we just were ready, turned out our due date would have been Ben's angel day and I had a lot of anxiety over that...but I had a miscarriage in February at 10 weeks. I had the HCG Quantitative testing done at 5 weeks and I had seen the heartbeat at 6 weeks and thought things were progressing just fine...then I went in for a "reassurance" check at 10 weeks and when she put the ultrasound machine on my belly there was nothing...I had a terrible miscarriage that ended with a 2 day hospital stay, a lot of hemmoraging and anemia that lasted for a month(which feels like you have been run down by a semi). I resumed normal cycles right away, which i am thankful for. We were told to wait 2 months(2 cycles) and then on the second we could start again...so we did, and BAM...I am very excited...but for some reason I keep having crazy thoughts that only bad things will come of it. My first HCG was 710 and my second(exactly 48 hours later) was 2200, so it tripled. So I start reading about that and learn that it could mean molar pregnancy, multiples...or normal...well I err on the side of caution and assume only something bad will come of it. Someone please tell me how to just be excited and happy, because I really struggle with it...I want to be, but I feel as though I am so incredibly plagued with bad things...that that has to be the outcome, even though it is not what I hope....Not sure if any of this makes sense...must be the hormones talking...

Thanks for listening...

Jenny

[Aubrey]

Wow! I give you all the credit in the world. You're obviously one heck of a strong woman. Idk if I could've even continued the quest in the first place.

Things will be ok. Everything will be wonderful. Just try to relax (I know... easier said than done) and go with the flow. You apparently have so far. *hugs*

[mommy2many]

I am really sorry about everything you have been through. I had a lot of bleeding with my m/c in Jan so much I passed out at home then at the ER while waiting to be seen. They said I was anemic as well and yes it feels like a semi ran me over as well. But this is what I have been telling myself. I have had great preg 5 of them to be exact. I know that if Gods will is to even give me 5 wks or 5 months or 25 yrs then I will take it. I can tell you believe it or not that are Father in heaven loves us and will never do anything to harm us or hurt us even though it is sometimes hard to believe. This is a totally different preg. Love every minute of being preg because we do not know when are time or are children’s time is up. The devil must love all of us women freaking out over are preg. He knows this is always a blessing from heaven no matter what happens in the process. I always say that I have 6 children are 6th was just taken home earlier then what we wanted but it brings me great joy to know that I will someday see him/her again. If you are a Christian and believe in the holy bible and in Jesus Christ then you can go to bed knowing that your children will always be your children on heaven and on earth.

I know I went a little deep on this but it has taken be about 4 months to understand why God took are baby home early and he has told me this and I just wanted to share this with you.

[mommy2many]

I am really sorry about everything you have been through. I had a lot of bleeding with my m/c in Jan so much I passed out at home then at the ER while waiting to be seen. They said I was anemic as well and yes it feels like a semi ran me over as well. But this is what I have been telling myself. I have had great preg 5 of them to be exact. I know that if Gods will is to even give me 5 wks or 5 months or 25 yrs then I will take it. I can tell you believe it or not that are Father in heaven loves us and will never do anything to harm us or hurt us even though it is sometimes hard to believe. This is a totally different preg. Love every minute of being preg because we do not know when are time or are children’s time is up. The devil must love all of us women freaking out over are preg. He knows this is always a blessing from heaven no matter what happens in the process. I always say that I have 6 children are 6th was just taken home earlier then what we wanted but it brings me great joy to know that I will someday see him/her again. If you are a Christian and believe in the holy bible and in Jesus Christ then you can go to bed knowing that your children will always be your children on heaven and on earth.

I know I went a little deep on this but it has taken be about 4 months to understand why God took are baby home early and he has laid this on my heart and I just wanted to share this with you.

[mommy2many]

Sorry it posted twice!!

[cc26]

I'm so sorry for all the losses and difficulties you have been through - I can't even begin to understand know what it must be like to have gone through all this. Yes, it's hard to believe that everything will be okay (even if there are no problems too!) and just relax. But that's what we all have to do. Take it one day at a time and be thankful that another day has gone by without any problems. There is a really good chance that this pg is either a normal healthy singleton, or even healthy twins, so try to remember that. Molars are pretty rare, so while it's good to be prepared for the worst, don't assume it!

I'll be thinking of you. Please keep us posted.

[HisBeauty]

I am so sorry for the losses you have in your life.

You're in my prayers. Please keep us posted.

[MacSweetE]

I will same the same as everyone...I'm so sorry for your losses...I too have had a horrible miscarriage before my son was born...I know it is so hard to stay positive and keep thinking happy thoughts when you have the fear of miscarriage in the back of your mind...but, I like to think that is what we are all here for...As a sounding board for each other and to give each other hope and strength when we feel weak...So please anytime you feel weak sound off and we will try to boost you up... :hugs: