Secular Confessions [Archive] - Page 95 - American Pregnancy Association

3andMe

09-30-2011, 06:30 PM

I cannot believe some of you have not seen The Princess Bride.

http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n70/lydchapman/Montoya.jpg

Well, that's kind of the reaction I get from dh when I tell him I haven't seen The Godfather.

I had a really long post typed out in this thread during my lunch break at work, about husbands and relationships and cleaning and stuff, and then I deleted it before I got to add that I was probably the one person here who not only knew about fecal transplants, but I had sat through more than one lecture on the subject.

I remember feeling like I just wasn't sure if I was contributing anything useful to the discussion. But anyway, I'm sorry for everyone with an annoying or problematic relationship, and hugs to you. Oh, now I remember why I deleted it. I added that mine is doing so much better right now and it's amazing how different your outlook can be when you are happy with your partner and he's supportive and considerate. And then I deleted it because I didn't want to appear smug, but honestly I'm not feeling smug. I KNOW how miserable it is when your dh is another source of stress and not the person who should be your shelter and support.

Gwenn

09-30-2011, 06:37 PM

L, I'm glad things are going better.

I've never dealt with fecal transplants, but I watched maggot therapy in action once during my hospital practicum. I had to leave the room, sit on the floor, and practice deep breathing for a few minutes to avoid passing out. There's a reason I prefer working in an educational setting over a medical setting.

girlwonder

09-30-2011, 06:41 PM

I'm really interested in those kind of things, but I don't know if I could deal with it in real life. I read a book about medical history once that was so cool. Talked about honey as an antibiotic, historical birth control, the invention of band-aids, etc. Totally love reading about it, but the sight (not to mention the smell!) would probably get to me.

Bridget

09-30-2011, 06:45 PM

Lydia, I am so glad things are going better for you! Please don't ever feel like you sound smug. I wish that for all of us, that we could come in here saying things are grand. I feel like all I do is complain. Except right after Sawyer was born. Remember how great he was?
I know his mom must have said something to him about how I contradict him in front of the kids. It was because of the day Kai was playing with a wooden knife from their pretend sushi kit and dbf said, "Kai, cut my foot off", so Kai wacked his foot. Remember? Anyway, he's been making a really huge deal about everything I say now as if I'm constantly out to sabotage his parenting. For example, yesterday he came home with a bunch of antique keys and him and the kids were going through them. Savana loves stuff like that so I told him when he mentioned throwing them away after the kids went to bed that it would actually be kind of cruel since she loved them so much. He was mumbling about how we don't need more junk around here. Then this morning she came down to the daycare crying that she begged and begged daddy not to throw the keys away and he did (right in front of her). So I went up and asked if we could please have them because she really loved them. He got all hot and bothered that I need to stop contradicting his parenting and get this, "She needs to learn that we don't collect junk."
Then why in the hell did you bring it home and give it to her????
He makes me crazy.

Sorry. I went off again. Lydia, seriously, I am so happy things are going well. I was worried about you. :hugs:

Gwenn

09-30-2011, 06:47 PM

Bridget, that's just plain cruel! I really don't understand him.

girlwonder

09-30-2011, 06:53 PM

Bridget, that's just plain cruel! I really don't understand him.

I agree - that's just cruel and mean.

AbbeysMom

09-30-2011, 08:37 PM

I write out posts all the time and then delete. Most of the time because I feel like it's too personal for an open forum. :(

Bridget: He has serious control issues. IDK what else to say.

Cosmosmom

09-30-2011, 09:06 PM

Totally love reading about it, but the sight (not to mention the smell!) would probably get to me.

That is why I think I have the perfect job. I get to read all sorts of interesting in all areas of medicine....but don't have to see anything other than pictures or videos. And I usually can get my boss to do the eye research because I don't even like pictures of that. :)

Just today I was doing research on ACL reconstruction rehab, pacifiers in the NICU and breastfeeding, fall prevention in nursing homes, and exercise health promotion. It was nice to not need my medical dictionary today. Some days I get requests and I'm like :eyebrow:

L, I thought you might have heard of that!

daylilies

09-30-2011, 09:10 PM

Yes I would say control issues too. I see a lot of examples when a parent does something mean just to prove a point.

Fecal transplants and maggot therapy? Wow...
I have a morbid side...I'm fascinated by weird things like that. I just started a book called Stiff, which I haven't read much of yet but it's all about the things the medical field does with donated cadavers...like did you know they use corpse heads for surgeons to practice cosmetic surgery on? That's as far as I've gotten, but I'd be glad to update with other things I find out as I go. :P

girlwonder

09-30-2011, 09:13 PM

"She needs to learn that we don't collect junk."

Yeah, and he is teaching her how to be cruel and mean and ugly and threatening to smaller people who have no power. Excellent. I'm sorry - I don't know how you live with him. This has been weighing on my mind all night. He just likes to mind-fluck his own children? Ugh. I'm sick about it. I don't know if there is any way in the world to counteract that kind of awful parental behavior, no matter what kind of super-mom you try to be.

Cosmosmom

09-30-2011, 09:15 PM

Ah Stiff, we have that book. My boss LOVES stuff like that so he orders a lot of general interest reading/science reading for staff. No fiction but not just medical textbooks either.

he likes to tell us (me and our assistant) about nasty stuff like bugs and spiders from this book called Biten (I think).

And Mary Roach has at least two others one is called Boink.

Oh and my boss orders a lot of audio books as we have a lot of staff that travel and love them. And he always drives when we go Minnesota or one of the other clinics and makes me listen to them. Last time it was Packing for Mars I think.

I don't like non-fiction for the most part and I really don't like audio books. And I work in a totally non-fiction library. :lol: Good thing I'm not expected to sit and read all day!

daylilies

09-30-2011, 09:16 PM

I heard she has other books. My book list is quite long...I'll get to them someday!

Cosmosmom

09-30-2011, 09:20 PM

Tell me about it! I have sticky notes in my purse, on my desk, in my email that just keep getting added to of my books to read someday list!

daylilies

09-30-2011, 09:37 PM

I use goodreads.com...you can make a to read list and rate them when you've finished...plus add friends and see what they're reading.

Gwenn

09-30-2011, 09:41 PM

Gwenn

09-30-2011, 09:47 PM

My dog just farted audibly. Like, really loudly. I've never known a dog with that particular skill before. DH and I are laughing ourselves silly.

daylilies

09-30-2011, 09:50 PM

Hahahaha!

Smplyme89

09-30-2011, 10:08 PM

L I'm glad things are going so well :)

Bridget that makes me so sad for poor Savanna :( Alot of your posts remind me of my own father, it makes me sad :ohno:

Gwenn that is hilarious :lol:

AbbeysMom

09-30-2011, 10:09 PM

Yeah, and he is teaching her how to be cruel and mean and ugly and threatening to smaller people who have no power. Excellent. I'm sorry - I don't know how you live with him. This has been weighing on my mind all night. He just likes to mind-fluck his own children? Ugh. I'm sick about it. I don't know if there is any way in the world to counteract that kind of awful parental behavior, no matter what kind of super-mom you try to be.

I'm sorry if you're tired of us talking about your dbf Bridget, but it seems like his bad interactions with your kiddos are just reactions to his interactions with you... like he acts out against the kids to prove that he has some control in parenting. Did he shoulder more parenting responsibility right after Sawyer was born? Maybe his control sh*t was at bay because he was forced into the alpha parent role and had to step up to the plate. Now that things have settled a bit he's back into being number #2 parent, fighting for dominance by acting overly authoritative at inappropriate times.

Just a guess. But I'm really hoping that he's better than he appears on the internet, and you have a more peaceful life than I think. You and your kiddos sure deserve it.

3andMe

09-30-2011, 10:46 PM

I'm sorry if you're tired of us talking about your dbf Bridget, but it seems like his bad interactions with your kiddos are just reactions to his interactions with you... like he acts out against the kids to prove that he has some control in parenting. Did he shoulder more parenting responsibility right after Sawyer was born? Maybe his control sh*t was at bay because he was forced into the alpha parent role and had to step up to the plate. Now that things have settled a bit he's back into being number #2 parent, fighting for dominance by acting overly authoritative at inappropriate times.

Just a guess. But I'm really hoping that he's better than he appears on the internet, and you have a more peaceful life than I think. You and your kiddos sure deserve it.

Really, really thought-provoking and interesting points.

I have to say, during the worst of my times with dh, I would have been willing to stay with him through most anything just because he is such a good father and such a good role model to our children. I know my father was not so great, but he was also not home very much so he didn't have much day-to-day influence on us. I think his absence, and my mother's firm and grounded support and positive interactions, are what made me the confident person I am today.

ETA: Psychological issues aside, we have actually not let my mom bring in old keys for our kids to play with because many of them have high lead content. There was a big change in minimum lead level requirements for keys in 2001 and then later in 2010, so we don't let them play with or handle keys very much.

Smplyme89

09-30-2011, 10:49 PM

Just a guess. But I'm really hoping that he's better than he appears on the internet, and you have a more peaceful life than I think. You and your kiddos sure deserve it.

I couldn't agree more :hugs:

AmeriBrit

10-01-2011, 01:09 AM

Bridget, I couldn't agree with more with what everyone's said about your dbf. I know he must have his good side, but his bad side sure is nasty. You and those great kids of yours deserve so much better than that.

Erin, Elle sounds like a hoot. I love when little kids try to tell jokes.

On the reading topic, I love reading stuff about history and medical history sounds kind of cool, but I'm not in to the morbid stuff. I would like to read more overall and am hoping for a Kindle for Christmas. I watched a documentary the other day on vampires in history. Some people in medieval times were so convinced that they'd come back as vampires that they'd leave detailed instructions on how to bury them so that they couldn't come back from the grave! It was a pretty cool documentary and just showed you how ignorance of medical things back then spooked people out very easily.

Bridget

10-01-2011, 04:20 AM

Dang, Lydia. Thanks for the info on lead! I am super paranoid about lead poisoning. I will have to explain that to Savana.

And Molly, you could very well be right about dbf. I swear, I really do try to let him do things his way but it is very hard in certain instances. But you make a really good point. I don't mean to but I am sure I make him feel like he has no say around here.
I also want to say that he is not all horrible. I talked to him more about the key thing. He had brough home with the keys bunch of padlocks and thought it would be cool to have the kids match the keys to the locks. But as it turned out, none of them matched. So in his mind he thought it was all totally worthless and when Savana saw him throwing them away he told her they were junk and she started to cry and he was "sticking to his guns" since I told him not to say no to the children and then give in when they scream and yell. In his effed up way, he seems to have good intentions but he fails to understand that they aren't little adults. He's alway saying they should know this or understand that and he doesn't GET that their brains are just not there yet.

Every night he lays in bed with Kai for almost an hour playing "rocketship". He has Savana help him clean the saltwater tanks and will search for hours online to find the exact fish she wants. Last night he stayed up setting up a stockcar racing track in the living room for Kai because he promised he'd have it ready when Kai woke up. Yesterday when I was dealing with a fussy Sawyer for 40 minutes when I came into the kitchen he had poured me a glass of wine. I mean, not that he deserves a metal for any of that but I felt like I needed to let y'all know he's not a total monster.

Thank you all for your unwaivering support. I will try not to complain so much about things around here. And just to be clear, I am not, nor do I strive to be, supermom. If I give that impression I imagine that's really annoying and probably part of the reason why dbf thinks he's the "less than" around here.

daylilies

10-01-2011, 07:43 AM

I don't think any of us wishes you'd complain less! I always say, that's what we're here for. I think all of your vents are completely rational and not unfounded. It's not like you come here and cry every time he forgets to put his dishes in the dishwasher.

AbbeysMom

10-01-2011, 08:01 AM

3andMe

10-01-2011, 08:13 AM

Bridget, I agree, I can't imagine that anyone would ever think you were putting yourself up to be supermom. I have never gotten that kind of impression from you, and what you try to do with your kids are what we all try to do - protect them in our own ways and be the best that we can be. That doesn't mean we are Supermom (except to our kids), and we SHOULD share our triumphs as well as our failures because what kind of women are we if we can't be happy and learn from each others' successes and support each other if we are feeling down?

I think it speaks a lot that we (the secular NET) have been really disappointed in your dbf's behavior, yet many still acknowledge that we know we don't get the whole picture from just the anecdotes that we see here. And it is nice to hear those nice things he did. Actually, thinking about how they might like to match up the keys to a padlock when he was out, even if the execution ended up being very poor, is also kind of sweet.

I think we would be a very poor kind of support forum if we are making you feel like you should stop complaining and also like you can't talk about how you do things from a parenting standpoint. I always try to learn and listen to your techniques, and I realize being called "Supermom" may make you feel uncomfortable, but it is just a recognition of the level of respect many of us have for the advice you would give in parenting situations.

Smplyme89

10-01-2011, 08:50 AM

L said it so much more eloquently than I could, so I'm just going to say ita with eveything she said Bridget :hugs: I do in fact think you ARE supermom though :winks: It is nice to hear those things that DBF did for the kids, very very sweet :wub: Parents aren't perfect, each brings something to the table when it comes to raising children and as long as the good days outnumber the bad-I think your doing OK :)

Maybe there is someway that you can delegate responsibilities to him so that he can feel more "involved" in the day to day operations of taking care of the children?? This is actually something I am interested in since I have a really bad habit of trying to do everything and DH ends up feeling very left out and/or useless... Than of course when I do let him help I have a bad habit of correcting his behavior :shame:

missychrissy

10-01-2011, 09:30 AM

Wow you ladies talked a lot! I'm probably going to miss something, but here goes...

No, never watched the Princess thing...I just googled the plot and I have to say my thoughts are, "Really? THAT is supposed to be so grand?" 'cause I didn't read anything about it that looked intriguing...but if I ever see it on I will make a note to see what all the fuss is about. :)

L-Glad things are better with your dh now. You've never sounded smug to me and I like hearing good news too.

Bridget...my my my. Everyone else said what I felt so I'll just say I agree with them on all their points. Please do not feel like you need to complain less. Like L said, we're all smart in here and we know these are just little bits and pieces of our relationships. While I do sometimes feel annoyed about your dbf, I do assume he's a nice guy and had good qualities as well...like the stuff you listed above.

Gwenn

10-01-2011, 10:39 AM

I agree, Bridget. This is a support forum and we're all here to complain and listen to others' complaints. I hope you don't stop sharing with us. And I agree, what we ll share is one sided and reflects our moods at the time.

Chrissy, the plot is not the reason to watch the Princess Bride. It's one of the funniest movies ever! Just watch it.

Smplyme89

10-01-2011, 10:57 AM

The Princess Bride is hilarious, stupid but hilarious!

AmeriBrit

10-01-2011, 12:45 PM

Bridget, I think for me, I think of you as a super mom because you always seem to put your kids first; you know them so well and you listen to them and know just what to do to help them and when you don't, you try really hard to find ways to help them. I know that no one is perfect, but I guess you are for a lot of us like the mom we would like to be more like. Being patient with kids is so hard, so reading your stories always gives me some perspective about putting myself in my kids' shoes and trying to not get so overwhelmed by the other stuff going on around me when my kids should come first. That's what I wanted to say about that. ;)

I'm eating some date & walnut cake with a cup of decaf coffee while watching the British X-Factor....having a moment to myself while the kids have just gone to bed. Ahhh.....

Bridget

10-01-2011, 02:21 PM

I love y'all!:wub:

I finally caved and took Sawyer to the dr because this rash has spread to his arms, legs and face. One of my daycare parents said she thought it was a strep rash so that had me worried. Well, the dr said it's not strep, nor is he showing any signs of anything he would be at all concerned about. He said he just can't be sure exactly what the rash is. I love that he said he didn't know! I wanted to kiss him. (Seriously, he was very cute:silly:) So refreshing. The last few times I have had to take my kids/myself to the dr they just take one look and write out a script and I know in my heart they have no idea.

missychrissy

10-01-2011, 07:44 PM

Cosmosmom

10-01-2011, 08:08 PM

What a nice day today...slept in late, did a few errands with DH that ended with us scoping out iPad 2's at the mac store and lunch at Noodles. We are soooo getting an iPad....usually I have to really work hard to talk DH into spending money but he wants one as much as I do. But probably not until we see and pay for property taxes...which we have no clue what it will be and the escrow is only taking $700...which is what it was last year on just the land. Now with the house it will be a lot more that we will have to come up with....just not sure how much yet. So I'm thinking that probably not until the spring. I have had to learn with DH that I always end up getting what I want....but have to wait until he's comfortable spending the money.

Got back in time to watch the Brewers win the first playoff game. :)

Oh and it was just GORGEOUS outside today. Cool and crisp but comfortable with a light jacket...probably in the mid 50's and so sunny. A lot of our trees are turning...reds, oranges and lots of yellows. I just love the fall.

Hey those in the south....maybe a dumb question but do the leaves turn pretty colors? I'm only wondering because they were saying that we should have a great season this year because our nights have been really cool but not too much frost yet and that makes better colors I guess.

Smplyme89

10-01-2011, 08:25 PM

Our leaves are either green or dead :laugh: We don't get very much "pretty" fall colors

Ky'sMom

10-01-2011, 08:28 PM

Okay, finally got back home after robotics and the park and my aunt and Big Lots since my aunt is a constant shopper and I hadn't visited with her in a couple weeks. I was reminded by her kitchen table Big Lots shopping need, that I also need a kitchen table. I am embarrassed that I only have a folding card table in my kitchen. I never got around to getting a real table because I'm too busy and I'm too tired usually to go to the store. I don't like to shop for furniture and many other items online (drapery, clothes, and other home decorative items since I like to hold things and see them to compare to color schemes and my boobs are too big to trust sizes without trying them on first when it comes to clothes). We are having a robotics meeting at our house next Saturday though so I figure I should get one since I will have four additional kids (maybe more with siblings) coming over, plus parents. I found a decent table set and may get it but even though I'm cheap with most things I usually am not with furniture because I like good quality furniture, but I think I will go back tomorrow and get a table set I saw since it looked pretty sturdy and wasn't too cheap looking.

And Bridget I never think that your DBF is all bad. I guess because my DH is very similar to yours and my DH is really a sweetheart and I just love him dearly. He used to be just as bad with parenting skills but I just asked him repeatedly (for about 8 years basically) to please just think of himself as a kid and the silly things he thought and said and things and about the reactions that he received from the adults in his life. He usually was spanked for everything under the sun. DH does this and makes a huge effort to treat the kids how he wish he had been treated so even in the heat of the moment he will do a ding bat thing or say something horrible IMO, I'll remind him of this and he'll apologize to the kids and tell them he will make an effort not to do whatever he did again. He sticks to it though as well. But really I think you are a great lady and I don't think that you'd be with a complete a$$hole just because of how great of a lady I think you are. Your DBF seems like a sweet guy who is a dingy about getting along with people. He would probably get along great though with my DH lol!!

It was very gorgeous here today to Jennifer. Just beautiful which was why I didn't mind being gone practically all day. We had to be at robotics this morning at 8am and it wasn't done until 4pm. I did leave around noon though since parents weren't needed after that and I took DH and Elle out for lunch and Elle and I went back, then she insisted we go to the park because she hadn't been in the swings for over a week and she wanted to swing!! She did, for an hour.

The leaves here in GA start to change right around this time in the northern portion of the state, they really haven't started changing here in Atlanta very much yet. They are just starting to fall of the trees right now though. We get a peak in beauty of the colors around the third-fourth week of October but you can still see some beautiful colors in early November some years and especially in the southern suburbs in metro Atlanta. Fall is my favorite season here. I was hoping to go to Tallulah Falls park here in GA. They have the largest waterfall in the SE about 2 hours northeast of Atlanta. I wanted to stay a weekend but I don't think we'll be able to because of finances. I may take a day trip though.

It was in the lower 70s here today with a lot of wind and was divine! I was getting so sick of 95 degrees and I am looking forward to being cold.

Erin

missychrissy

10-01-2011, 08:48 PM

It sounds like you had a great day Erin. :)

It was cold here today. Too cold. It didn't even reach 50. I'm so not ready for this. I don't care about colored leaves. They depress me because it's the end of summer and the beginning of winter-which I hate with a passion that words cannot describe. I try not to let the changing leaves depress me, but I really don't like them.

We had the kids' birthday celebration at the bowling alley today. I think that's the way to go for all parties now. People had stuff to do, it was fun, and I didn't have to work so hard!

We had one blip for the day though. Rich & I were playing a lane ourselves and I realized we only had 1/2 hour left so I got everyone around for the cake and presents. Of course I wanted pictures and there was a lot of people to attend to. Rich kept saying it was my turn. I finally said something to him about taking a break from it, thinking it should have been common sense that we were there for the kids anyway and I didn't want to miss seeing them open their stuff! Plus, as host and hostess it would have been rude to expect everyone to fend for themselves for cake!! What did he do? He took his bowling shoes off and I'm afraid it lit me up so much I snapped at him loudly, right in front of everyone. I just didn't care.

missychrissy

10-01-2011, 08:49 PM

What really sucks is I'm afraid that every time I think about this day, that's what I'm going to remember the most. I'm so sick and tired of him ruining every single thing I try to do for fun for our family.

Smplyme89

10-01-2011, 08:54 PM

I'm sorry Chrissy :hugs:

3andMe

10-01-2011, 09:00 PM

Chrissy, I'm the same way about winter. Even in mild California, this week we're supposed to have rain and colder temperatures, and the leaves have started turning colors, and I am just hating it. I've already noticed how significantly earlier it's getting dark, and I'm dreading the next 7 months. I have realized, actually, that I start dreading the winter in August now, when it's still warm, because I notice the days getting shorter. I would probably do so much better if I had a winter home and a summer home. I've also started getting cold all the time. I'm wearing fleece now and I'm slightly chilly, despite an ambient temperature of 74 degrees. It's just the clouds and the thought of impending winter. DH is annoyed because he's sweaty and wants to open all of the doors and I'm shivering.

I'm sorry your party was so uncomfortable. Do you think the kids' enjoyment was spoiled by it at all?

girlwonder

10-01-2011, 09:21 PM

The only leaves here that are gorgeous in the fall are the Japanese maples leaves - a beautiful red. But I'm afraid this year we won't have any real color because all the leaves are dead from the drought. It is so depressing to look at - every single tree you see is stressed, with drooping leaves or withered brown and yellow dead leaves. I am worried about falling limbs all the time now, especially in windstorms (since our thunderstorms no longer produce rain, just lightning which causes more wildfires, etc. ad infinitum). This drought is projected to last until 2020 - I can't live here if that is true.

I'm sorry, Chrissy. It sounds like you need a break - I would just plan on you or Rich moving out for a while to see how you do. Seems like at this point there's no improving the relationship, just more things that make you sure you don't want to be in it anymore. So regardless of whether the move-out is temporary or permanent, it sounds like it needs to happen for you to be able to clearly see what you want.

So after reading Outliers, a friend posted this on facebook:

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/09/25/opinion/sunday/dont-delay-your-kindergartners-start.html?_r=2

I am getting tired of sensationalism and statistics - nothing is true.

And Bridget - I didn't say you were a super-mom to upset you. It just seems that you swoop in and rescue your kids a lot. I am sure your dh has good in him, otherwise you wouldn't be with him. I worried a lot and dreamed about the post, regretting it because I felt it might be hurtful to you - actually logged in first thing to erase it, but it had already been quoted so I couldn't unsay it. I think Erin's suggestion is good - maybe if he tried to imagine things from their point of view it would help with communication? Good luck.

missychrissy

10-01-2011, 10:11 PM

I'm sorry your party was so uncomfortable. Do you think the kids' enjoyment was spoiled by it at all?

The kids, and everyone else, had a great time. And when I said I snapped at Rich, I just said 1-2 sentences and then left it and pretty much ignored him for the rest of the time. It was toward the end, when we only had 20 minutes or so left. And he did later put his shoes back on and we finished our game. I was just exasperated because I didn't feel like finishing our game was a priority, and then how he acted when I spoke up was uncalled for.

I do try to keep a lid on things when we're around others, but I failed today. I'll resent him for my own loss of temper which is unfair, but that's where I'm at.

The only leaves here that are gorgeous in the fall are the Japanese maples leaves - a beautiful red. But I'm afraid this year we won't have any real color because all the leaves are dead from the drought. It is so depressing to look at - every single tree you see is stressed, with drooping leaves or withered brown and yellow dead leaves. I am worried about falling limbs all the time now, especially in windstorms (since our thunderstorms no longer produce rain, just lightning which causes more wildfires, etc. ad infinitum). This drought is projected to last until 2020 - I can't live here if that is true.
:( That's so sad. I hope that prediction isn't true. Where do they get their information from so they can make guesses like that? I'm curious.

And thanks for the encouragement. I'm always wondering to myself if I'm making the correct choice. I guess no one can know for sure either way, but a break doesn't have to be permanent. That's really a good reminder. I do believe staying together right now will simply make things worse.

You're a wonderful friend. So thoughtful and sweet...very Bridget-like. :wub:

girlwonder

10-01-2011, 11:02 PM

Thanks, Chrissy. I feel like a big goofy blockhead most of the time!:laugh:

Gwenn

10-02-2011, 12:28 AM

I'm sorry you had an issue at the party. I agree it does sound like you need a break, even if it is temporary. I'm sorry.

Jennifer, we have very few deciduous trees here. The only trees native to this area are mesquite, I think, and they stay green or drop their leaves if they get too cold. Pine is native up on the mountains. Otherwise we have mostly imports, palm trees and citrus and some cottonwood and other leafy trees but they tend not to grow wild. Some species are types that change colors, but they tend to be isolated and it has to get pretty cold for them to change. It happens in spots, though, but I'm always surprised to see it.

I love fall, though, because it is such a relief from the heat. We're still in the 90s and i'm eagerly looking forward to necpxt week because there are temps in the 80s in the forecast. Fall is beautiful here so I really don't miss the changing leaves. It's probably my favorite time of year. Winter here is kind of drab, and spring just passes too quickly and then it's hot again. The desert in bloom can be spectacular in spring, but it only happens after a super rainy spring and we haven't had one of those in a few years.

Bridget

10-02-2011, 06:17 AM

Chrissy, I'm sorry. :hugs: I agree that it does sound like you just need a break.
Erin, what is robotics exactly?

I love fall too. But it's so short and then winters around here are brutal. We've been really talking more about getting some land on the island of Hawaii and just living off the land. Dreamin.
Did I tell you guys my dad mentioned at dinner a couple of weeks ago how sometimes he feels like he wants to move somewhere else and just start over? I was surprised to hear him say that but on the drive home the more I thought about it, the more I really understand. So I called him when I pulled in the driveway and told him that I understood and he should look into where he'd like to go. The other thing that caught me off guard was that he started hiring someone to mow his lawn. Our whole lives it was always, "Dad loves to mow the lawn. Dad loves to work in the yard." But maybe he didn't love it as much as we thought. Maybe he just did it all for my mom because SHE loved the yard. I'm learning so much about my dad lately and realizing that he's got layers we never knew about. He was always so dedicated to doing what mom wanted and making mom happy. It's like we never really knew him that well at all. Maybe he didn't even know either. I'm really enjoying getting to know him.

missychrissy

10-02-2011, 08:40 AM

If fall meant 80's here, I'd love it too. Colored leaves can go-I'll exchange them for some warmth!! Some falls aren't bad. We've trick-or-treated wearing shorts, and we've trick-or-treated wearing snowmobile suits under our costumes too. It varies greatly. This year is definitely starting out cold really fast. It makes me afraid!

Has you dad mentioned where he'd like to go? That's interesting about the yard. I think your dad is wonderful and it doesn't surprise me that you're so spectacular yourself. It stands to reason you're going to raise great kids too.

It did make me pause and think and be a little introspective a bit...one of Rich's best qualities is that he genuinely wants me to be happy and will do anything I ask. It's also one of the worst, for me, because he goes along with everything I think of whether it's a good idea or not. He doesn't think of obstacles or alternatives or other 'what ifs' that I neglect to think of myself. If I fail to see the big picture and make a poor choice, then it's 100% my fault. He has never thrown anything up in my face, but I'd at least like someone to discuss options with. I really, really want that.

Sorry, didn't mean to go off on my own tangent....I'm just doing a lot of thinking. Ironically, Rich does think me moving out is a bad idea and has said so. :P I will give him that.

AbbeysMom

10-02-2011, 08:44 AM

Bridget

10-02-2011, 08:50 AM

Hawaii sounds like a great place to start over. ;)

And Erin, I'm curious about robotics too... is it like a club?
If I could take my dad and brother with me I would be there in a heartbeat. We would need a pretty big plot of land to convince him to reside with us. He loves dbf because I do but the man drives him totally nuts.:laugh: My dad is mellow beyond words, like he's never done drugs but you would think he was stoned all the time as laid back as he is. Dbf is always bouncing off the walls.

Chrissy, thanks for your kind words. :wub:
I can understand what you are saying about Rich. I wonder if my mom ever felt like that. I know she always wished my dad would be more selfish and do things just for himself. It used to drive her nuts because she'd say something like, "Oh, you know what I love? Those turtle sundaes from the frozen custard shop." Then suddenly we'd all be like, "Where's dad?" and sure enough a few minutes later he pulls back in the driveway with turtle sundae. Best man alive.

missychrissy

10-02-2011, 08:54 AM

:wub: Very sweet.

Rich is a bit different, but I can see similarities. If he extended that to the kids maybe I'd feel differently too. He treats them vastly different than he treats me.

Oh well. I'm not going to figure him out. I know things are getting worse in how he treats the kids. It's almost like the more distant I act toward him, he's taking his frustration out on them. Maybe it's not that, but there's definitely something going on.

Bridget

10-02-2011, 08:58 AM

Well I can understant that very well. I don't think dbf realizes how in love with him I would be if he treated kids awesome. Being a good dad is sexy.

missychrissy

10-02-2011, 09:00 AM

Yes it is.

daylilies

10-02-2011, 09:38 AM

Agreed!

Smplyme89

10-02-2011, 10:10 AM

Aww Bridget, your dad sounds amazing :wub: Actually reminds me alot of my DH, he's so bad about doing things like that. I have to be careful what I mention I like when we go somewhere or next thing I know he's missing cause he went to go get it for me :eyeroll::wub:

And I agree, being a good dad is very sexi! I keep telling DH, you want to turn me on-get up at night with Nolan. A good nights sleep and I guarantee you I'd be ready to go :ohyea:

AmeriBrit

10-03-2011, 06:22 AM

I used to love Fall in Arkansas since it was such a relief from the heat, but it's not the same here. The only temperatures you get here really are cold and cool. We get a rare day of nice heat but that is rare. Summer is my favourite season here. It doesn't last long though. I totally would move from here if it weren't for family being here. I'd love to try Spain or Portugal. Or even Australia, but I don't see that happening because my dh is such a scaredy cat about bugs and spiders.

missychrissy

10-03-2011, 06:26 AM

omg Ash, I went out with an old friend Friday night and one of her friends came along...he was British but I didn't pick up on it right away. I was too busy catching up with Christen, and her bf and this guy kinda hung to themselves talking. Later in the night the four of us were all standing together and I heard Doug (the friend) talking and drunk me interrupts, "Are you British?" Apparently when he drinks his accent gets thicker. I'm afraid I made somewhat of an ass of myself because I asked him all about his health care and what he thought of it. He took it well though and laughed at my rudeness and answered every question I had. He was a very nice guy and loves America. Said he'd never go back...unless he had to (like for medical reasons and no $).

You know I'm far to the left when my idea of a good time is talking single payer on a Friday night. :P He was cute too...I'm almost ashamed to admit that I had fleeting thoughts about seeing if he was available in a few months. Intellectually, I know that's the last thing I need, but I was smitten.

Bridget

10-03-2011, 06:34 AM

:laugh:Oh, Chrissy! That is kind of funny you just grilled him about health care. I could see myself doing something like that.
And my you are ambitious. When I think about ever leaving dbf I think I will never want another man again. They are too much work. :laugh:

Sawyer slept so well last night! My alarm actually went off at 6am and he was still sleeping (on my chest) so I put him in his playpen down in the daycare and then realized I was up too early! My first child today does not arrive until 8. Too up to go back to sleep though. I sure am thinking about that extra hour of sleep!

missychrissy

10-03-2011, 06:37 AM

Oh goodness Bridget-that's the shocking part for me too. I haven't looked at/considered anyone at all. And seriously, I don't want to get into anything for a really long time-if ever. I think it was more health care envy. :P I did surprise myself by liking him as much as I did...but I know enough to avoid all that.

Yay for extra sleep!!

Ky'sMom

10-03-2011, 08:16 AM

Okay, I just typed out a long post that disappeared so I'm going to sum up what I said.

Katy, I have heard about the drought in TX. I post in a political forum as well as this one and we have been discussing if Texas will become the next state that will have large numbers of people moving as a result of being "climate change refugees." It is interesting in the political forum as many people still do not believe that climate change is a real thing, even though the majority of us believe they are some nutcases. It is also encouraging to see that many Republicans/Conservatives do believe that climate change is not some Al Gore made up phenomenon.

Robotics - We started a club at Ky's school and became involved in the First Lego League (FLL). It is a global competition that children from 1st through 12th grade can be involved in. I have wanted Ky to be in it for a while as he loves building robots and has since he was a toddler. Our coach is a aeronautical engineer who works for Lockheed Martin here in the metro Atlanta area. His son goes to our school and he and another parent were interested in starting a FLL club at our school but we didn't really have the money. The other parent is a teacher and went to an event at Georgia Tech and they hooked her up with a person who worked for Boeing (also here in the metro) who offered to sponsor us so we started a club for 4th graders only. The 1st-3rd FLL teams are considered the Junior FLL and do not compete. Boeing would not sponsor them so we are actually going to do some fund raising in order to get a team for 1st-3rd graders by the middle of the year.

Anyway, Ky is just loving it. It has been challenging though for me because we started later than the other teams so we scheduled two meetings per week, one on Saturday. Meetings are typically 3-4 hours long or more, mostly because the kids love working with the robots. As part of the competition the kids have to do a research project, a presentation regarding their project, and build and program a robot to do specific task. We also have a build a "board" for the robot to specifications provided by the FLL in order to have a space to practice the tasks.

Ky is going through a teenage-y what I call a "non-chalant" phase where he doesn't care about anything (having clean clothes, getting his chores done, putting on deorderant[he gets pretty stinky too!] or doing anything besides eating, watching TV on weekends, and drawing). He still cares about robotics though and it gets him excited. It has also surprised me that his coach thinks he some sort of natural at it as he figured out how to program tasks for the robot without help. And I think I have shared it with you ladies here but really we are not a big computer time family so many of the parents in our group were surprised that Ky is so good on computers and with technology period especially since I didn't even let him start playing with our PC until he was 7. He is 9 now. He is much more advanced than the kids in our group who already have their own laptops and iPads and iPhones.

I'm happy that he is having a good time with it and our coach wants to put him in another group at Georgia Tech that is for kids who are advanced in robotics/engineering. This group is one that encourages math/science/engineering in our local community and across the country, similar to FLL but more advanced. As many of you may know our country is severely lacking when it comes to science, mathematics, and technology training. We all know how to use technology but not many know how to program and create new technologies, not on the level of more emerging technology countries like India, China, Japan and others. So they are trying to get these kids heavily involved at GT from an early age (9 and up) and get them passionate about technology, math, and science. I am grateful that Ky can be involved. He is pretty nerdy (like his mother) and is not that interested in sports and such so I'm happy that he has robotics as his "team" and that it is educational and that he can hopefully gain some great skills from it that can benefit him if he choses to focus on technology as a career

Here is more info about the FLL (http://firstlegoleague.org/). Our theme this year is called "The Food Factor" and is about food safety and preparation methods. We are doing our research on homemade bread and are going to trace each ingredient's route from origin to finished product. Ky has to research salt. He is not liking the research portion as much as the programming/robot portion but knows he will let down the team if he doesn't participate so is doing it anyway.

missychrissy

10-03-2011, 08:47 AM

That sounds really interesting Erin, and something I would have been totally into when I was his age. I had an easier time with learning programming and such when I was a kid than I do now. The brain is a fascinating thing! Are you going to let him join the advanced engineer group?

There's a Lockheed Martin in Owego too Erin. :P

Ky'sMom

10-03-2011, 09:34 AM

Yes, I think I'm going to go ahead and let him join the other group. There is a cost associated with that group though but the man who runs it has told me that he may be able to waive the charge for us. It is $40 per event and they have 3-4 events per month and even though that isn't all that expensive, I am doing some saving for our Disney trip and a few other things and don't think I will be able to pay $120-160 a month for the group.

I only recently heard that Lockheed was a national company. People talk about it so much down here as it is the perrenial company to work at in the aerospace field in many people's opinion.

We actually have discussed Lockheed and other companies like it on the political forum as many feel the president hasn't fully shut down the wars in the Middle East due to the impact it will have on these companies and the economy. I know anytime there is a hint that a certain plane that Lockheed makes here in Atlanta may be phased out, there is a big uproar. So many people don't seem to understand how many private companies depend on federal government money. Heck even my job is as we get money from HUD to operate.

Erin

missychrissy

10-03-2011, 09:40 AM

The same thing happens here with the helicopters the Owego plant manufactures. They won the contract from another war-monger manufacturer in Connecticut (I think?). I remember that company actually tried to sue Lockheed Martin because of it.

They also manufactured really large sorting machines for the post office. My aunt worked on that and traveled all over the US and various territories building them. That was shut down a few years ago and many 100's of people lost their jobs-including my aunt. It does indeed have an impact on the communities.

demigraf

10-03-2011, 11:13 AM

I'm about to start reading the last 4 pages to catch up on what I missed over the weekend. I was sick all weekend with DH working, my parents are over on the other side of the bridge with my sister until Tues, so I was still full-time mommy despite my sore throat and fever. Barely slept. Last night I finally get a good solid 7+ hrs of sleep and I wake up this morning with a TWITCH in my right eye.

So I just wanted to tell you I'm catching up on you guys with a piece of scotch tape on my browbone. Because I always end up stroking it with my finger to stop the twitching, and I need my hands this morning.

That is all. :P

AmeriBrit

10-03-2011, 01:11 PM

LOL, Myles....I wondered where you were!

Chrissy, your post made me laugh, too, about Doug, the Brit friend. Is he Northern or Southern English? The accents here are even more varied than American ones by region....people here that live like 3 miles apart will argue over what to call what I would call a hamburger bun either a bap, breadcake, a scuffler or a teacake! English people are craaaazy! But I do think the healthcare is pretty good, not great but it does the job for the most part. Healthcare and holiday entitlement are a biggy for us for staying in Europe.

Just to update y'all on Travis and school. Last week, he didn't cry at all, so he's in the swing of things now! And he only cried a little today because he didn't see me wave to him at the window, so that upset him when I actually left. He's been taking a tiny little stuffed dog with him from home, so I asked him if he'd like to try to leave the dog at home tomorrow and he said he's going to try....I'm so proud of him! My latest struggle with him is to get him to eat anything other than peanut butter sandwiches...he can be so picky sometimes! Argh.

missychrissy

10-03-2011, 01:13 PM

I didn't even think to ask him which part of England he was from. The poor guy...I can only imagine what he really thought of me, but he took it in stride and laughed in a friendly way at this crazy drunk American. :P

I'm so happy that Travis is having an easier time with school. I remember very well how heart wrenching it is to leave them when they're upset. It's easily one of the most difficult parts of being a mom.

AbbeysMom

10-03-2011, 02:04 PM

Myles! :hugs: Sorry you've been sick, it seems like everyone around here has a cold too. And I think I heard eye twitches were caused by dehydration?

Erin, Robotics sounds awesome! I'm so impressed with your drive to make something happen at your school just so your son (and kids like him) would have the opportunity to be involved with science and math in a fun/hands on extracurricular group. Activities like that change kids lives. And it's not surprising to me that your son is better at figuring things out than other kids who grew up with i-everythings. IMO Apple's intuitive GUI creates an end-user curse where people don't understand anything behind the machine, they just act like computers are pseudo-sentient and can't understand why "my computer hates me" when it freezes and needs updating or a new hard drive or something. I heard that alot when I was teaching, and it made me worried for the next generation of kids.

Gwenn

10-03-2011, 07:04 PM

Erin, that's awesome about the robotics! My niece plans to major in robotics engineering when she starts college. She's been taking robotics in high school and really enjoys it. She is very smart. Too bad she's 7 years older than Ky! :)

I finally went to get my knee checked out by the doctor this weekend, and the doctor at the workman's comp place said she thinks I have a slight tear in my meniscus and sprained muscles. DH doesn't believe it and got out his sports injury textbook and just doesn't believe it's my meniscus because the book said it would have made a sound when it was injured - which it didn't. He thought it was a ligament, but wasn't certain which one. Went into work today and my OT friend (who worked in a joint injury wing at a hospital before she moved here) looked at it and said immediately she didn't think it was my meniscus. I told her where it hurt, she moved it, and 3 seconds later she declared it was my MCL. I believe her, partly because she was so sure of herself and partly because she said the same thing DH's sports injury book. She recommended a great PT and I called the HR department to see if I could go to her PT and turns out he is part of the network the district uses, so no issues for me to see him. I'm just waiting for them to get my paperwork approved - the doctor wanted me to get PT three times this week and I don't know how that is going to happen if I haven't scheduled the first session yet. Let's hope it comes together because the pain is getting worse every day.

Bridget

10-03-2011, 08:53 PM

I'm so glad your friend was able to look at if for you. And BOO on dr's who do not take their time/know what they're doing/care. :pokey:

Bridget

10-03-2011, 09:24 PM

I just wanted to let y'all know that I went to the library today to settle up my fines after I received a letter and that I will never repeat the amount that my fines are at right now.

I shall take it to my grave. :winks:

3andMe

10-03-2011, 09:37 PM

Gwenn, I tore my meniscus once and it made a popping sound and it FELT like it made a popping sound. I also had an x-ray to confirm it, though. Are you not getting any diagnostic testing?

Bridget, I believe that is officially known as taunting.

Robotics sounds awfully cool, and I think I will not let DS know about it for a long while, because he has become so enamored of his books about machines that he has started pretending he is a machine and is making machine noises all the time and is oftentimes a car crusher and will just start snapping his hands closed on my hair when I'm reading bedtime stories (annoying!!!) or is a giant excavator or some other machine. It's hard for him to just be a boy. Even when we play 20 questions at dinner, he only chooses machines.

Mylah, I'm sorry to hear you've been sick. It seems like this season of illness is hitting hard and fast already. My neighbor across the street just told me her son (same age as baby S.) just got out of the hospital for pneumonia. Five days he was in there.

Gwenn

10-03-2011, 09:53 PM

Gwenn, I tore my meniscus once and it made a popping sound and it FELT like it made a popping sound. I also had an x-ray to confirm it, though. Are you not getting any diagnostic testing?

No, stupid doctor did not order ANY testing and didn't seem too sure what the problem was. Just ordered three sessions of PT and to report back in a week. I'm pretty annoyed about it, to be honest. I didn't realize a torn meniscus would show on an x-ray - now I'm even more annoyed.

Good news is, if I do get to see my friend's PT, she said he was the best PT she's ever worked with. Hopefully that will make up for the doctor. DH wants me to see his acupuncturist/Chinese medicine doctor but the jury is still out on that for me.

3andMe

10-03-2011, 11:18 PM

Gwenn

10-04-2011, 01:05 AM

I forgot to add that I was invited to a friend's 40th birthday party and it's a lingerie pillow fight theme. For a guy. His wife is hosting it. I was thinking that it's awfully sweet of her, but there is probably nothing that would make ME feel older on my 40th birthday than trying to recapture the exuberance of youth and seeing a bunch of half-naked middle-aged people in lingerie, having a pillow fight. :shocker:

We are not going. We are in conflict with a four-year-old birthday party.

Being well on my way to middle age myself, I heartily agree with that statement. Not something I would enjoy.

ETA: Particularly after picturing myself in lingerie and my knee brace, hobbling around with an injured MCL.

Bridget

10-04-2011, 05:20 AM

:laugh: That lingerie party sounds like a joke! It sounds like an Adam Sandler movie.

Savana has been asking me a lot of questions about slavery. I read her a book last night from a little girl's prespective, rubbing salve on her mama's hands that are bleeding after a long day in the field. In the story the mama sends the girl away in the middle of the night with some people who are leaving via underground railroad. She stays behind and it's very very sad.
When I was tucking Savana into bed she said, "Mom, I don't think I'm quite ready to learn about slaves yet. I need to wait until I am a little older because I'm not old enough to understand it and it makes me feel like the whole world is scary.":sniffle:

missychrissy

10-04-2011, 06:13 AM

Mandy, I'm glad you finally got it checked, but I thought you were supposed to do it sooner? :P Sorry, the mom in me had to. I don't know what to say about the apparently inept dr though. Ugh.

Hope you're feeling better Myles. I'm sporting a kickass cold myself right now. I forgot my Dayquil too, so it's going to be a long day.

When I was tucking Savana into bed she said, "Mom, I don't think I'm quite ready to learn about slaves yet. I need to wait until I am a little older because I'm not old enough to understand it and it makes me feel like the whole world is scary.":sniffle:
I'm always blown away by how incredibly insightful and self-knowing Savana is.

I bought a car last night. I didn't trade my VW Cabrio either (which I'm tremendously happy about). I pick it up tonight. This is a first for me...I've never gotten a loan for a car before. And I did it without a cosigner. Considering how the banks are supposed to be stricter and I have a bankruptcy on my credit, I was surprised it went through.

Ky'sMom

10-04-2011, 07:15 AM

Congrats on the new car Chrissy!!! People have told me it is easier now to get a car loan than it used to be before the recession and economic downturn. I know here on the radio there is a place that advertises that they can get you a 3.9% APR for a new car loan even if you just have a 550 credit score which is just crazy to me!

And poor Savanna regarding slavery. I remember being shocked reading about slavery as well. I used to walk to the library by myself at 6 years old and read books because we had large fines as well (and I will admit that right now I have a fine of $65 and Ky has a fine of $35, we are horrible library users and our library will actually let you take out books even if you have a fine up to $20. I am going to go and pay them both though this week and I just am going to consider the fines a donation to our library system LOL). But I was very saddened by the thought of slavery. I was and still am one of those people though who get stuck on a subject so I read every book in our neighborhood library about slaves and slavery and after a while it was very uplifting to me to see that so many people of all backgrounds worked and lobbied for abolition. Savanna seems like such a sweet souled girl. Ky was and is very sweet and sensitive like that (even though he doesn't want me saying he is my sweet baby boy, but I still say it because he is). He only recently has been able to watch sad movies or discuss or read about certain subjects and some things still bother him. I was watching a PBS documentary recently about the Rwanda genocide in the 1994 and it was too disturbing for him. I knew it would be so I turned it off when he came into the room but he said he wanted to watch it and after about 2 minutes I could tell it was too much for him. DH is 39 and still cannot watch certain documentaries or news stories that are sad or speak of children suffering especially.

Myles, sorry you are not feeling well. I hope you are better today. And too bad you are a twitching. I hate it when my eye twitches. Once my eye and my leg were twitching, it felt like they were having a party or something. I was also told it was due to dehydration and a lack of some vitamin I can't remember. Imagining you with a taped open eye though made me giggle!

R sounds so funny L!! If he were here we'd let him join in on robotics. All of the younger siblings participate as much as they can, especially with building the robot and board. They enjoy it. Plus all siblings are automatically admitted into our school so we want them to have a head start on the other kids so by the time they are in the FLL club we will dominate our region.

Erin

3andMe

10-04-2011, 07:24 AM

Congrats on the new car, Chrissy! What is it?

Bridget, what book have you been reading? Slavery is something adults have a hard time understanding, too. When I was little I thought that I would grow up and somehow know all of the answers. I remember even at 17 asking a friend who was turning 30 how it felt to be that old and being able to feel secure, and he laughed and said he didn't feel any different than he did when he was my age, but that he just had a few more years of experience to help him handle situations.

I've been reading The Boxcar Children to mine. I never read the books when I was little, and so far, I have to say I like it and the twins are enjoying it more than most of our chapter books so far. We just finished Book 1. They were written in the 40's and I haven't had to explain anything that is terribly dated. I thought my kids were going to be worried about the children's parents being dead, but they haven't asked about that at all. The books espouse hard work, kindness and self-reliance, and I like how they make do and are happy with what they have. The kids make a home from an old boxcar and things they find in a nearby dump.

missychrissy

10-04-2011, 07:30 AM

I remember even at 17 asking a friend who was turning 30 how it felt to be that old and being able to feel secure, and he laughed and said he didn't feel any different than he did when he was my age, but that he just had a few more years of experience to help him handle situations.
That's essentially how I explain "being old" to my kids too. I don't really feel any different than I did when I was 16. I just have more stories.

The car I got is just a Suzuki SL7. It's nothing to brag about, but has white leather interior and seats 7 and has AWD. I ended up taking pictures of the muscle cars they had on display and totally forgot to take a picture of my new-to-me car. :D

I forgot to :laugh: at the idea of 40-somethings having a lingerie pillow fightin party. I kinda like the concept, but it would totally depend on who was gonna be there. Definitely something I'd only wanna do with really close friends. Like maybe the secular mommas. :P

girlwonder

10-04-2011, 07:45 AM

I loved the Boxcar Kids when I was little. And double yuck to middle-aged lingerie pillow fight.

Bridget

10-04-2011, 07:57 AM

We just picked up the Boxcar Children series at goodwill! But it's missing the first one so I want to pick that one up before we start. I also loved the series.
The book is called The Most Loved in all the World by Tonya Cherie Hegamin. It is very sad and I had tears in my eyes as well. The mama makes a quilt with a cabin "means a place is safe", a star "the brightest in the sky; it's for you to follow, a tree with green on one side "the moss should only be growin' the direction you are headed", and a happy little girl "is the most loved in all the world". Heartwrenching.
I did tell Savana that slavery will never make sense no matter how old she is and that it still makes me very sad even though I am 30 years older than her. But I remember being a little girl and wishing I didn't know certain things that made me have scary thoughts when I lay in bed at night.

Cosmosmom

10-04-2011, 08:41 AM

I don't think of myself as middle-aged yet but I don't even have lingerie! I'm liberal and all but personally am very modest. I would have to show up in granny nightgown or my matching long sleeved ones with pants. :lol:

Congrats on the new car Chrissy!

Gwen, was that a family doc you saw? For something like that, I would want to see an ortho doc and would want to make sure some dx tests were done.

Myles, hope you are feeling better today. You too Chrissy.

Chrissy, hope that you get an Indian summer and get what we are having next week....this week is upper 70's and even some low 80's! I would prefer the 64 that we should be having but the sunshine is nice. I don't really like winter either. Basically I don't like driving in snow and our winter is kind of long. But I have to say that it can be awfully pretty when it's all crystal looking. And the sky can be such a beautiful blue in January when it's -10 outside.

Um, yeah I tend to run up fines at the library also. DH teases me about that since he thinks being a librarian I should know better! LOL I usually renew or return though before it gets over $1 and I just consider it a donation. We have no good excuse because in my town there are return boxes for the library at the grocery stores!

daylilies

10-04-2011, 08:41 AM

Wow, I thought having a couple bucks for a library fine was bad ;) Our library lets you take out books even if you have a fine too. I always feel guilty about that though so I try not to let him take out more if we already have a fine, or a bunch at home.

We just finished one of the Oz books so we'll go back today to get another one. They're really over his head I think, but he seems to enjoy them, so I guess we'll keep it up!

missychrissy

10-04-2011, 08:56 AM

The first time I owned lingerie was for my boudoir photos, and that was the only time I wore it.

3andMe

10-04-2011, 12:57 PM

I have actually been to another lingerie party, but it was a good many years ago. My sister likes to throw themed birthday parties with dress codes. Most of her birthday parties were formal attire, but one year, maybe 10 years ago, she had a lingerie party.

I have also been to a party where there was a kiddie pool set up for naked chocolate pudding wrestling, but I did not participate.

Bridget

10-04-2011, 01:08 PM

Erin, I feel so good to read that you have large library fines. :laugh: You are so responsible with money! I have a few items I'm being charged for replacing because I cannot find them. If I find them today or tomorrow then I can bring them in and reduce my fine before I pay it off. I still insist that it's worth it even if I have to pay this ridiculous fine because we use the library a lot.

Sometimes I have to wonder what reality dbf's mom is living in. While she was here I'm sure she could see that there were certain domestic tasks that he did not participate in. One day she came up to me with a basket full of my clean clothes that she had washed and folded and she said, "You are busy so bring these to Mark and aske him to put them away for you." :laugh: I just silently took them and put them away myself later. Then I sent her an email this morning and mentioned that Kai has been asking about apple pie since she left. She made a couple of pies from scratch with butter crust and they were drool worthy. I told her I was going to pick up some crusts from the health food store so they were handmade but would not compare to hers. She just sent me an email saying that she was gonig to email Mark the directions for the apple pie crust so that he could bake pies in his spare time.
:lol:

missychrissy

10-04-2011, 01:16 PM

:lol: It would be funny if he did make them.

Bridget

10-04-2011, 01:17 PM

It would be awesome. He would totally get laid for that. :laugh:

missychrissy

10-04-2011, 01:17 PM

:D lmao!!

daylilies

10-04-2011, 02:04 PM

DH made a pecan pie last week, home made crust and all. It was delicious. I can't recall if he got laid specifically for that or not though. :P

Ky'sMom

10-04-2011, 02:41 PM

LOL Bridget! Makes me want to whisper to your DBF (you know she'll give you some if you make her some pie!!) LOL!

I am pretty bad when it comes to returning library items. Ky also lost a couple books. One, when I asked what it was, I was told its description was "paperback." I'm like WTF!!! That does not help me find it. I was ill about a year ago and wasn't able to take about 20 books back that we had for about a month, which was how my fine got so high. Ky lost 2 books, which was how his fine got so high. I found one of the ones he lost so will take that back and it will shave off $10 off his fine. I am thinking of asking them for some sort of pardon for mine, like I'll pay half of it. I mean I was sick. DH wouldn't take them back for me at the time, he was being a butt head when I asked him and I forgot about it until it was $65.

Erin

Cosmosmom

10-04-2011, 03:08 PM

My DH doesn't cook really at all. He can make homemade pizza (and does a fantastic job on the crust) but that is about it. But he cleans the toilets so that makes up for a lot. Making a pie crust isn't hard at all except the rolling it out.....DBF should totally do it. I got DH to help roll it out to since....and than I told him how cute he looks working in the kitchen. :)

I think that we charge $150 for a lost book, no matter what the book costs. A lot of that is staff time for processing a book into the system again and well some of our books cost way more than that so it balances out. But we don't charge any late fees....we just REALLY want the books back. Some DVDS can cost us over a thousand or more.
I borrow pretty regularly from one library and if the book is lost or damaged, it's automatically $225, audiovisual items are $375.
I don't know what the fees are at the public library but i think that they tend to be more forgiving. Except for iPads which my public one is now lending. Those the late fee is $10 a day, if you stick it in a return slot, that is another $25 and if you lose or damage it, it's $1,020 (which is almost double what they cost).

daylilies

10-04-2011, 03:33 PM

Cosmosmom

10-04-2011, 03:44 PM

While we're talking about libraries...how much would I have to donate so they can replace their entire children's dvd collection? Almost every single dvd we get does not work at all or skips a lot. I used to tell someone when we return it but I don't think they actually do anything about it.

too many variables...depends on how many DVD's there, are they still easy to get, how much staff time does it take to process them. I know for us DVD's are way expensive but it's not like we are buying Lion King....and in fact aren't buying much anymore at all because the stupid publishers charge way too much for them. I mean we can a DVD for 1-2K, sometimes even more.....OR we can get a ton of books and audio books...guess which one wins?

I know if we get an item back that doesn't work, we test it out and try to clean it....we do a LOT of audio books on CD. Sometimes we can get a replacement, sometimes we can't.

Bridget

10-04-2011, 05:05 PM

Could you imagine a man who baked pies and scrubbed toilets?
Not on the same day, of course.

3andMe

10-04-2011, 05:26 PM

Could you imagine a man who baked pies and scrubbed toilets?
Not on the same day, of course.

My imagination is not that good, sadly.

Actually, I have dated some really good cooks. One of them was a total womanizer. He baked me the most delicious stuffed chicken breasts and spent his spare time experimenting with perfecting a pumpkin soup, and made a killer risotto, and it turns out he was screwing women in every department of the hospital, from techs to doctors to administrators. :ohno: The other really super domestic guy I knew was very touchy feely to the extreme of getting his feelings hurt if I said hi in the wrong tone of voice. He broke up with me once and then got all of our mutual friends mad at me because I broke his heart. Why? Because I didn't take him back when he said "Oops, I really shouldn't have broken up with you."

I know there are great men who are also domestic gods, but my experiences with the ones who cook and clean have not been so great, and so I have been a little soured on them.

missychrissy

10-04-2011, 05:42 PM

Rich used to cook and clean :(

He did clean a lot this weekend actually, but that's just 'cause I've been cool to him and talking about getting my own place.

daylilies

10-04-2011, 05:43 PM

DH prefers to bake rather than cook, and he would probably not have a problem scrubbing toilets and making a pie in the same day but he has little to no sensitive side and he's not great with animals and children. That's what kills it for me.

missychrissy

10-04-2011, 06:05 PM

I drove my car 15 miles and the Service Tire Pressure System light started flashing and then stayed on solid. Please don't let me have a lemon! That's not the sort of thing that my brother can fix easily...I don't think. He can replace individual sensors, but the whole system? I'm not sure. Anyway, I don't want problems!!!

The dealership is picking it up from where I'll park it in the morning and work on it while I'm at work. Whew...and hopefully that'll be the only issue. Maybe it's a tire with low pressure, but there's no owner's manual so I couldn't read up on it myself.

daylilies

10-04-2011, 06:19 PM

Oh no! I hope it gets taken care of easily.

Gwenn

10-04-2011, 06:41 PM

Hope your car is okay, Chrissy!

DH cooks but sadly does not bake and does not clean toilets. So although he can make a fabulous Chicken Marsala with grilled asparagus and garlic mashed potatoes, he will never bake me a pie and scrub the toilet. I'll settle for what I have, though. ;)

Chrissy, you weren't supposed to catch that part about when I saw the doctor...

Don't know what type of doctor she was, just the on call doctor at the workman's comp clinic. Not sure what my options are as far as seeing an ortho, but really I work closely with a truly fabulous physical therapist and I admire her so much ... if my PT is as good as Margaret is, I'll be happy with the treatment I get and won't worry about seeing an ortho.

Which brings me to the fact that I still can't get the stupid company that oversees workman's comp to approve my PT because "they don't know the name of the adjustor from the insurance company." I really don't know what their issue is or why I can't treatment because they don't know someone's name, but I've called twice today and was told "we're working on it" which, when I asked for further information, means they left a voicemail yesterday. I explained I'm in pain and need medical treatment, and they said they can do nothing for me. So I emailed someone from the HR department and she's trying to do what she can for me ... told me she called someone and left a voicemail that she said "sounded threatening" because she had laryngitis and she expected it to be taken care of first thing in the morning! Till then, I'm still in the same spot I was in before I saw the doctor - this is getting insane.

Cosmosmom

10-04-2011, 06:49 PM

Chrissy when I first got my brand new car, I had it like a month and than the dang tire thing started flashing and beeping at me. Except I didn't know I had a tire pressure monitor. And I didn't know how to put air in the tires. I had to bring it to the dealership. Talk about look like a stupid woman. It really was the tires....they just got upset with the temp change and were slightly off. A bit of air and I was good to go. Now I LOVE having the pressure monitor in there and I sort of know how to put air in myself. :)

Oh my DH can clean and often does most of it. But he doesn't think to do things like wipe out the icky stuff that gets in the dishwasher where the door hinge is or to wipe down cabinets. He's great though at getting my hairspray layer off my bathroom sink! He doesn't do laundry but will fold and put away his own. I'm scared to let him touch mine.

BUT he is very sensitive and can get his feelings hurt very easily. And the cleaning is great but he's VERY picky about his house. he gets bothered by things long before me and likes things to have a place and be neat and put away. he did finally stop stealing guests drinks and putting them away if they went to the bathroom so he is improving. And he cares GREATLY about decorating the house. Seriously. I mean I cannot shop for anything house related alone....furniture, art, knick knacks we have to buy all that together and agree upon it. And placement, he almost always gets his way.
And OMG with baby things. Looking at strollers/carseats and had to be one he likes how it looks and matches our cars....after safety of course. Pack n play has to match the living room. and the worst has been trying to find a freaking high chair because he doesn't want "an ugly one" sitting in the dining room for two years.

So while I adore him to pieces and he's my best friend and I love that he cleans, does all the money/bills, and even will help me cook (tonight he did the taco meat while I chopped lettuce and tomatoes)....it does come with a price and I wish that he didn't care quite so much about decorating (and I'm serious about this being what we basically argue about...sometimes money but mostly decorating!).

Bridget

10-04-2011, 07:18 PM

AbbeysMom

10-04-2011, 07:20 PM

My DH cleans when I ask him to but I wouldn't want him to cook. He doesn't have any desire to cook and he can only make one thing anyway: crepes. His mom taught him, and they are really good. But TBH I think cooking is the fun part and cleaning up after is the hard work. I really do enjoy cooking, though.

I had horrible library fines when I was growing up and still get them. As a matter of fact I have a big box of library books/dvds waiting to be returned right now. In Boulder they always had "Amnesty day" once a year and you could return your books and they would waive all the fines, which I thought was a great idea.

Chrissy, I hope your car is OK! We bought DH a new car just recently and have a 5 year/100K bumper to bumper warranty on it. It's awesome. We've never had a car I didn't have to worry about. My car on the other hand... just spent $800 last week on a new radiator and water pump. :ohno: I'm lucky I noticed fluid dripping or I could have overheated the engine and cracked the block.

When my MIL was here she bought me all the fabric for a king quilt I really wanted to make (it's called "french braid" and the fabrics I picked out are gorgeous). I can't believe how generous she is, it was seriously $250 in fabric. But I just realized today I have 7 weeks until we go out to Colorado again and I really wanted to have the top done by then to show her. I really better get on it since I think it will take awhile just to do the cutting. I might show you all updates as a get through it just to get some encouragement. :)

Bridget

10-04-2011, 07:22 PM

Please do! I wish I had the craftiness to do it. I would love to see your progress.

Gwenn

10-04-2011, 07:24 PM

Yes, please share!

Bridget

10-04-2011, 07:28 PM

At my thursday night dinner with my dad and brother I think I'm going to break the news that we are considering moving back to Hawaii in the next year or two. :shocker:

Cosmosmom

10-04-2011, 08:03 PM

Jennifer, I would make your dh twitchy. :laugh: I want to take a picture of our high chair so you can show it to him and tell him it's the one you want. My dad says it reminds him of the kitchen chairs in him and my mom's first apt. Stainless steel tray. I :wub: it. Why do they make compartments in modern highchair trays??? That drives me insane. Just more nooks and crannies to clean.

I posted in the masses for some advice and want to get you ladies' perspectives on this.
http://www.americanpregnancy.org/forums/showthread.php?t=334267

Ugg part of he wants wooden and he wants it too look nice and match our dining room/kitchen. He doesn't like the Stokke Tripp Trapp chair and not really liking the Carters wooden chairs.

He likes this one http://www.amishoutletstore.com/page.cfm?p=6284 or this one http://www.amishoutletstore.com/page.cfm?p=14571 in a stain to match our stuff. Kind of expensive I think though I might be able to try a local amish store and not pay shipping. It would look the best though in the space which is pretty open to the living room.

He has sort of agreed to this one but HATES the green so I would have to buy the taupe plastic seat and he's not loving that either. I hope that they come out with different colors by the time we need a high chair....since it could still be a couple of years away. http://www.amazon.com/OXO-Sprout-Chair-Green-Walnut/dp/B003AM8CM8/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1317780134&sr=1-1

Cosmosmom

10-04-2011, 08:06 PM

At my thursday night dinner with my dad and brother I think I'm going to break the news that we are considering moving back to Hawaii in the next year or two. :shocker:

:shocker::shocker::shocker::shocker::shocker:

I hope that they surprise you and want to come with. Or at least your dad could maybe spend winters down there!

Gwenn

10-04-2011, 08:07 PM

At my thursday night dinner with my dad and brother I think I'm going to break the news that we are considering moving back to Hawaii in the next year or two. :shocker:

Wow, that's so big! It would be great if you could get them to come with you.

Bridget

10-04-2011, 08:09 PM

If only they would come! That is exactly what I want.

Cosmosmom

10-04-2011, 08:09 PM

Oh and I agree, I would love to see the quilt! I can crochet but not anything sewing. I can maybe fix a seam sort of and can do surgery on Cosmo's toys but it's not pretty.

And I bought this last year and have yet to get started on it. Thinking I should soon so maybe there is a chance that it will be ready for baby's first xmas once there is a baby! DH and I both have ones like this with the beading that our mom's made in the 70's so wanted to continue the tradition.....
http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B001144W8K

AbbeysMom

10-04-2011, 08:11 PM

Ugg part of he wants wooden and he wants it too look nice and match our dining room/kitchen. He doesn't like the Stokke Tripp Trapp chair and not really liking the Carters wooden chairs.

He likes this one http://www.amishoutletstore.com/page.cfm?p=6284 or this one http://www.amishoutletstore.com/page.cfm?p=14571 in a stain to match our stuff. Kind of expensive I think though I might be able to try a local amish store and not pay shipping. It would look the best though in the space which is pretty open to the living room.

He has sort of agreed to this one but HATES the green so I would have to buy the taupe plastic seat and he's not loving that either. I hope that they come out with different colors by the time we need a high chair....since it could still be a couple of years away. http://www.amazon.com/OXO-Sprout-Chair-Green-Walnut/dp/B003AM8CM8/ref=sr_1_1?s=baby-products&ie=UTF8&qid=1317780134&sr=1-1

You know, you could commission a seamstress (or use etsy.com if you can't find someone local) to make a cushion for the OXO Sprout chair. They could do a quilted one that would be washable and more comfy for baby, and you could pick any fabric you wanted to coordinate with your dining/living room or whatever.

AbbeysMom

10-04-2011, 11:44 PM

Hey, does anyone here want my "Gymbucks"? I have $75 worth (so if you buy $150 worth of clothing at Gymboree, you get $75 off). If you do just let me know and I'll send you the code or mail them to you (they are good until Oct. 9th).

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 06:10 AM

Chrissy, you weren't supposed to catch that part about when I saw the doctor...

Don't know what type of doctor she was, just the on call doctor at the workman's comp clinic. Not sure what my options are as far as seeing an ortho, but really I work closely with a truly fabulous physical therapist and I admire her so much ... if my PT is as good as Margaret is, I'll be happy with the treatment I get and won't worry about seeing an ortho.

Which brings me to the fact that I still can't get the stupid company that oversees workman's comp to approve my PT because "they don't know the name of the adjustor from the insurance company." I really don't know what their issue is or why I can't treatment because they don't know someone's name, but I've called twice today and was told "we're working on it" which, when I asked for further information, means they left a voicemail yesterday. I explained I'm in pain and need medical treatment, and they said they can do nothing for me. So I emailed someone from the HR department and she's trying to do what she can for me ... told me she called someone and left a voicemail that she said "sounded threatening" because she had laryngitis and she expected it to be taken care of first thing in the morning! Till then, I'm still in the same spot I was in before I saw the doctor - this is getting insane.

Oh goodness Mandy! I hope this bureaucratic red tape crap doesn't make your injury worse! And of course I noticed...I thought I told you to go sooner!!

Seriously though, I hope this gets resolved this morning for you.

Chrissy when I first got my brand new car, I had it like a month and than the dang tire thing started flashing and beeping at me. Except I didn't know I had a tire pressure monitor. And I didn't know how to put air in the tires. I had to bring it to the dealership. Talk about look like a stupid woman. It really was the tires....they just got upset with the temp change and were slightly off. A bit of air and I was good to go. Now I LOVE having the pressure monitor in there and I sort of know how to put air in myself. :)

I wish my car had a manual with it. Speaking of, who the heck takes the owner's manual out of the glove box anyway? If I knew it was only the tire pressure I could have handled it. But the wording of the warning that flashed up said the tire sensor system needed to be checked. That could be the computer itself or a sensor and if it's one of them I want them to pay for it while it's under warranty. I don't have a manufacturer's warranty on it 'cause it's used. I think NY gives 60 or 90 days and that's it for used cars.

At my thursday night dinner with my dad and brother I think I'm going to break the news that we are considering moving back to Hawaii in the next year or two. :shocker:
Oh wow Bridget-I didn't know you were seriously thinking about that so soon. I'm happy for you and hope you find the place of your dreams...with enough room for a secular mom & her brood to visit one day. :P

Bridget

10-05-2011, 06:15 AM

daylilies

10-05-2011, 06:35 AM

That would be great for you guys!

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 06:39 AM

... Savana was not meant to live in a cold climate. It's nearly impossible to get the girl to put on a pair of socks, much less a snowsuit.
:wub: A girl after my own heart!

Are you looking already?

Bridget

10-05-2011, 06:51 AM

:wub: A girl after my own heart!

Are you looking already?
Been looking casually for about a year but now have our eye on a few properties. With lots of land and tons of fruit trees of every kind.

AbbeysMom

10-05-2011, 07:36 AM

Been looking casually for about a year but now have our eye on a few properties. With lots of land and tons of fruit trees of every kind.

That sounds like a paradise :) I hope it happens for your family soon! :vibes:

I think Myles had dreams of living in Hawaii and raising Bohdi to be a surfer... Myles where are you? Are you still planning on Hawaii someday? :hi:

Personally I would love to move to Hawaii and when we were being transferred down here I showed DH some jobs in Maui, but he wanted nothing to do with it. He is very attached to Colorado and because of that, I know we will move back and spend the rest of our lives there. Until we retire and I sell all our possessions on eBAY and buy an Airstream so we can do an extended national parks tour. But he doesn't know about that yet.

Ky'sMom

10-05-2011, 07:43 AM

I would be over the moon if you came to visit! If any of y'all came to visit! I keep hoping that Erin is going to make it may way someday.
I didn't know we were thinking of leaving so soon either to be honest. I just feel like we are really gravitating toward that idea/lifestyle. The more I think about it, the more I know my kids especially would be so happy there. They play outside in the summer for hours and hours and then we have 6 months of winter and I really think they get depressed. Savana was not meant to live in a cold climate. It's nearly impossible to get the girl to put on a pair of socks, much less a snowsuit.

Aw, you make me feel so special!!!:wub:

I actually do think about coming to visit you and Jen since we have family in Chicago and Wisconsin is not that far of a drive (to me 12 hours is not a far drive LOL!)

I hope your announcement goes well and that is VERY exciting.

Chrissy, I hope nothing is wrong with the car. It is good that they are looking at it for you and hopefully since you just got it they will fix whatever it is for free. Did it have any sort of warranty? Here most places give you a 30 day warranty, even small lots for used cars because there are so many car places.

We actually might end up moving to Chicago. I have never wanted to live there though. Too much snow and too little yards and way too many gangs. It is a big fear of mine that Ky will join a gang and Chicago is just not a place I would like to live.

It is crazy but DH took a test to be a firefighter back in 1995 and a lawsuit was brought up about it and they offered the guys who passed the test, yet who were never called in to do the physical portion of the test the opportunity to compete for 111 firefighter positions so DH is going to go and if he gets one of the spots we will have to move to Chicago. I feel bad because DH is excited about it as he always wanted to be a fireman when he was a little boy and it was a dream of his and now he thinks he can still do it. He is in pretty great shape and has even completely stopped drinking bear in order to get ready for this test. But I so do not want to live in Chicago even though I really don't even like living here in Atlanta. I keep hoping he won't make it and I feel bad about it.

Erin

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 07:43 AM

Until we retire and I sell all our possessions on eBAY and buy an Airstream so we can do an extended national parks tour. But he doesn't know about that yet.
:laugh:

Me & Rich's lifelong goal was to retire, sell all our stuff, buy a Class A motor home and travel the US in it.

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 07:45 AM

Aw, you make me feel so special!!!:wub:

I actually do think about coming to visit you and Jen since we have family in Chicago and Wisconsin is not that far of a drive (to me 12 hours is not a far drive LOL!)

I hope your announcement goes well and that is VERY exciting.

Chrissy, I hope nothing is wrong with the car. It is good that they are looking at it for you and hopefully since you just got it they will fix whatever it is for free. Did it have any sort of warranty? Here most places give you a 30 day warranty, even small lots for used cars because there are so many car places.

We actually might end up moving to Chicago. I have never wanted to live there though. Too much snow and too little yards and way too many gangs. It is a big fear of mine that Ky will join a gang and Chicago is just not a place I would like to live.

It is crazy but DH took a test to be a firefighter back in 1995 and a lawsuit was brought up about it and they offered the guys who passed the test, yet who were never called in to do the physical portion of the test the opportunity to compete for 111 firefighter positions so DH is going to go and if he gets one of the spots we will have to move to Chicago. I feel bad because DH is excited about it as he always wanted to be a fireman when he was a little boy and it was a dream of his and now he thinks he can still do it. He is in pretty great shape and has even completely stopped drinking bear in order to get ready for this test. But I so do not want to live in Chicago even though I really don't even like living here in Atlanta. I keep hoping he won't make it and I feel bad about it.

Erin

Ugh-that's really rough. I'd be ambiguous about it too.

I did find my manual online and the warning I was getting is in regards to the monitoring system and not the tire pressure on any tires. It's a good thing I decided to call them.

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 07:55 AM

OMG I would be devasted if I ever had to sell my house. I like to travel but not that much. I really like just being at home. Pretty much every day I sit in my kitchen and think to myself or say to DH, you know I really love my house.
I also am really attached to Wisconsin. I like the seasons changing and am not fond of heat at all. Summer is ok but mostly because I have central air and work in air conditioning. :) Don't love the snow but don't mind the cold and like the winter things like soups and chili and roasts in the oven. Chili and roasts just don't taste as good in the summer.

Chrissy, any chance the is a manual online? Like at the company's website?

Erin, would you all have to live in the actual city of Chicago? Or could you do some burbs? My family is at the end of the metra line so that was nice when I lived down there. My MIL lives in the burbs but is trying to get back to Milwaukee. We are now on the other side of the state not too far from Minneapolis/St. Paul. Very nice area. :)

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 08:17 AM

If we're still together, we might not sell our house.

Ky'sMom

10-05-2011, 09:35 AM

I so hope your DH will get it together while you are apart Chrissy and that you can get a little peace. Maybe you and he can come back together on better terms so you won't have to think about selling the house and will be able to move on peacefully.

And Jen we would have to live in the actual city of Chicago. In Chicago if you work for the city (includes firefighters and police officers and teachers) then you have to live in the city. I understand that and really I wish we had something similar here in Atlanta. It makes those who work in the city and the communities in the city have a vested interest in making the city better.

And really I think Chicago is a beautiful city but I just do not want to live there. It is much more attractive than Atlanta in regards of the upkeep of the city and the way it is run, even though they have corruption at least their corruption actually maintains the city. Here in Atlanta it is corrupt and those in charge don't even care about trying to act like they aren't corrupt if you KWIM. They are better actors in Chicago and do more to try to prove they aren't corrupt. It is pretty funny to me actually but at least they fear being openly corrupt may get them booted from office. They don't care here in Atlanta.

But my main issues with Chicago are crime and (it is crazy in this day and age) segregation. Chicago is one of the most segregated cities in the country, many do not know this and really I wouldn't see it as a bad thing but it is heavily ingrained in the city and it bothers me when I visit or hear DHs relatives speak about it. Really it is just crazy to me. If we moved there we'd also more than likely move on the South side which is where my MIL lives and even though her actual neighborhood isn't all that bad, it is actually better than where I live now in Atlanta, though many have a stereotypical view that the whole south side of Chicago is a gang war land, my main issue in that area of the city is that the schools there are not up to my standards. I was actually going to move from Atlanta a couple years ago until I found Ky's school and I just LOVE our school so much. It would be my main reason for hating to leave. I will never find a school like it any where else.

Erin

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 10:12 AM

But my main issues with Chicago are crime and (it is crazy in this day and age) segregation. Chicago is one of the most segregated cities in the country, many do not know this and really I wouldn't see it as a bad thing but it is heavily ingrained in the city and it bothers me
Erin
:shocker: I didn't know this. Is it just because people are choosing to 'stick to their own' so to speak, or do you feel there's an undercurrent of pressure for people to stay segregated?

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 10:46 AM

Yeah I kind of figured that they would want city employees to live in city limits. I would be concerned about the crime and such too. Like Chrissy I didn't realize about the segregation but than again I have basically gone down usually 1-2 times a year and was pretty much around the touristy things downtown or I was visiting my MIL in the burbs. I have heard about the schools being not good down there but always just thought that was how it goes in most big cities. Maybe they would have charter school options? Or maybe even private school? I know I don't consider myself religious but if a Catholic school was the best option, I would totally send my kid to one.

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 11:06 AM

Grrr...what I thought would be an easy search this morning is turning out to be anything but.

Ky'sMom

10-05-2011, 11:11 AM

:shocker: I didn't know this. Is it just because people are choosing to 'stick to their own' so to speak, or do you feel there's an undercurrent of pressure for people to stay segregated?

I feel it is more of a traditional segregation like white people stay here, hispanic, there and black people there. But I also do feel that because of the traditional seperation that people do feel pressured to stay in a certain area and there are a lot of stereotypes that some people hold about each other. I just think it is ridiculous in this day and age. I do not get a good vibe from Chicago really. I think a lot of people there are too focused on racial issues and I really just do not have time for all that (because I will get into arguments over stereotypes and such with anyone, that is just how I am, even DH and it has been the cause of a lot of I'll say discourse in our relationship. I do think though with our debates he is coming out of his stereotyping a whole lot). My DH and a lot of his family are what I consider to be a "Race Men" meaning they focus way too much on race and see racial issues in every freaking thing under the sun and I just don't want to be around this all the time. I was looking into neighborhoods and schools just in case so I can have a list of where I would like to live and DH is adamant that he doesn't want to move in more integrated neighborhoods because he wouldn't want the kids to have to endure racist remarks at an early age. He can tell some horrible tales about things that kids and even teachers said to him when he was a child at school, he went to integrated schools in the 80s and some of the things he tells me are truly unbelievable IMO but he is not one to lie about things like that. He was even attacked outside of a Cubs game by a group of guys who said he and a friend of his wasn't allowed in their side of town because they were black and this was in 1996 and IMO wasn't too long ago. I truly feel it is probably not as bad as I've heard and even if it was it is more than likely better than it used to be but I've met a lot of people who are native Chicagoans and really they just are too racial for my taste and I just don't want to put up with it and gangs and crime. One of the neighborhoods though I've been looking at is promising with lower crime on the south side but it is more expensive than MILs neighborhood and I don't know if I'd be willing to pay twice as much to live somewhere only 5-10 miles away.

But really I just hope to not have to deal with Chicago except on visits. I'm excited that I'm going there next week for a company party that the company is paying for me to go to. I am so going to leave the party early and relax in my hotel room (after I look for bed bugs!!!:shocker:) and I have already told DH he need to "be me" for a day and make sure he does the chores/pick up the kids/cook. Hopefully I won't have twice as much work to do when I get home.

Sorry you day started off on the wrong foot Jen, hope it gets better.

Oh and they do have a lot of Charter options in Chicago a lot of promising ones, but not like where we are now with the really low class sizes, plus most of them have an extremely long day and I don't really think it is necessary for kids (unless they are WAY behind or are doing other activities) to have to go to school until 6pm and on weekends.

I more than likely wouldn't do private school because I don't like the idea of paying for school when I'm already paying for school through tax dollars. If it came down to it, I would just homeschool the kids if I can't find a good school.

Erin

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 11:41 AM

Oh it's not a bad day or anything. Just one of those things that you thought looking at the request....oh this will be an easy one. Than it's like, nope not really. Just cannot think of a really great way to narrow it down using subject headings or even keywords so I had to scan through about 650 citations to find about 50-60 that I think would help my patron the most. Usually it's easier to narrow things down.

I do think that you are right on the race thing in Chicago. I'm on the other side of it but have heard things from others or on the news. And my MIL has told us that there is just a big difference in attitudes in general from her coworkers there compared to coworkers she had in Milwaukee.
I can totally get not wanting to pay for private school. I felt the same way living in Milwaukee and why we were thinking of homeschooling back than even though we lived in one of the burbs. Now I live in smaller town with really pretty much no bad schools or even really bad neighborhoods so we will just go with public schools.

AmeriBrit

10-05-2011, 12:48 PM

I've been lurking lately instead of posting since the most time I can get to read on here is from my phone....it's so hard to do a proper post from a touch phone!

Chrissy, I hope your car gets sorted.

Erin, that's really quite interesting about Chicago. I would have never thought that about a big city, but I guess that goes to show you how much of a bubble I live in. Speaking of living in bubbles, my MIL was buying some things the other day to send as a charitable thing over to Africa and she was going to buy a hair brush. I said to her, "I'm not sure black people use those kinds of brushes to do their hair." And she was all like, "Oh, I don't know..." and then I started thinking that I don't actually really know any black people to ask (except to Erin from here!) How sad is that....everyone around here in our neighborhood is so white.

Bridget, that sounds very exciting about Hawaii. It will be interesting to see what your dad and brother have to say. I keep telling DH that for one of our anniversaries that we'll have to go Hawaii because it's a dream vacation for me. He says we will one of these days. I also really want to go to the national parks in Wyoming and out that way, so I could eventually maybe one day meet Bridget and Lydia! :)

A Travis funny from today-DH was running a bath for the boys and he said to Travis, "Is this water too hot for you?" Travis touched it and said, "No, it's not too hot....it's too warm, though!"

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 01:25 PM

:laugh: Kids!!

3andMe

10-05-2011, 02:24 PM

I have started browsing third world problems just for kicks, instead of first world problems. The difference is pretty amazing:

My water is 70% poop and my poop is 70% water.

The flies land on my face. I swat, then they come back. I swat, and they come back.

My tapeworm is fatter than I am.

Americans are becoming suspicious that I am not truly a Nigerian with a dead, rich relative.

Compare to first world problems:

I had to navigate the city without a GPS like some sort of old world explorer

I met a girl today but she's not on Facebook. So now I have to get to know her manually...

My hundred-dollar bills are so new that they stick to each other.

All right, that's my amusement for naptime today.

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 02:56 PM

Reading some stuff at work and saw this and thought of the conversation yesterday. Statewide in Wisconsin last year, over 25 million was spent on purchasing new materials at public libraries. To me that is an excellent use of tax dollars.....I know I certainly make good use out of the public library (and I don't even like mine....location isn't handy at all....I'm so jealous of my family who lives like less than a block from theirs and walks there all the time).

3andMe

10-05-2011, 03:00 PM

I should add that all of these problems are made-up. I mean, they're based on real stereotypes, or maybe they could happen, but they're meant to be humorous in sort of a painful way. It's not like someone who can't get decent drinking water in a third-world country is typing in his/her problems to a forum complaining about it.

Ky'sMom

10-05-2011, 03:06 PM

LOL at Travis!! That is so cute. And it depends on where in Africa the brushes are going to Ash. I know a lot of African immigrants here in Atlanta and they wear a lot of weaves/extensions if you can believe it and they said that a lot of women wear weaves/extensions in Africa too!! They use what we call "wig brushes" the plastic ones with plastic bristles with the ball thing on top (hard to describe). Mostly though we use boar bristled brushes, they kind of look like a steel wool brush but soft so if she has those kind then they would work with anyone.

And Jen I would never take anything out from your library! The replacement prices are WAY too high. Here they go by either the type or the actual price of the book. The one that Ky lost was 9.99 so it will be $10. He had lost 2 books so since I found one he will have to pay a $5 late fee for it, but it has been over a year so that's not bad IMO.

Erin

Ky'sMom

10-05-2011, 03:07 PM

3andMe

10-05-2011, 03:19 PM

It's not horrible. They're supposed to be amusing.

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 03:25 PM

And Jen I would never take anything out from your library! The replacement prices are WAY too high. Here they go by either the type or the actual price of the book. The one that Ky lost was 9.99 so it will be $10. He had lost 2 books so since I found one he will have to pay a $5 late fee for it, but it has been over a year so that's not bad IMO.

Erin

LOL I know. But really the cost of some of the books is even way more than that. Like this might be something we would order http://www.amazon.com/Textbook-Spinal-Surgery-Set/dp/0781786207/ref=sr_1_13?ie=UTF8&qid=1317849386&sr=8-13

Really I don't know that we have ever had to bill someone since I have been here. Usually once you send someone a notice saying that they will owe $150 (or more if multiple books), they tend to find the books and that is really what we want.

We also check out life size anatomy models (only to staff)....those are kind of cool. The skeleton we call Dr. Bonz. :laugh:

AmeriBrit

10-05-2011, 03:32 PM

LOL at Travis!! That is so cute. And it depends on where in Africa the brushes are going to Ash. I know a lot of African immigrants here in Atlanta and they wear a lot of weaves/extensions if you can believe it and they said that a lot of women wear weaves/extensions in Africa too!! They use what we call "wig brushes" the plastic ones with plastic bristles with the ball thing on top (hard to describe). Mostly though we use boar bristled brushes, they kind of look like a steel wool brush but soft so if she has those kind then they would work with anyone.

Thanks, Erin! I've learned something today! I'll let her know. The box she's doing is for kids', I think, but I know what brushes you're talking about, so I can tell her what kind to get!

Bridget

10-05-2011, 04:58 PM

I have been catching up and giggling the whole time.

I just got back from an organic farm 30 miles away that has a store called Back to Country. I was browsing around and learned you have to be an employee to shop there so I asked and she said they ask for one hour per month. Odd, I thought. Then I asked where the milk was and she said, "In the barn". So then it all came together for me and I realized they only sell raw milk so you have to work on the farm for it to be technically legal for them to sell it to you. So I bought 2 gallons and we're going to give it a try. We don't drink much milk so it'll be mostly for cooking.
There were a lot of children on the farm, laying under trees reading rubbing a dog's belly, playing musical instruments, working in the store or in the barn, petting the horses. They helped me load the van with my groceries, played with Sawyer, chatted with Savana, showed me how to get my milk. I asked one of the older children if they were all homeschooled and she said yes and they don't all live on the farm but work and learn there and at home. I thought it so cool that today I collided with the world I've been thinking about so much lately. That is what I want for us. It was so peaceful and everyone I ran into, adult or child, was very welcoming and friendly.

daylilies

10-05-2011, 05:59 PM

It's nice to find a place you click with like that!

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 06:08 PM

Wow, so much to catch up on.

Ash, I've noticed now that I have an iPad and a smartphone I have a tendency to either read and not post, or to post very short posts because it's too hard to type. I make a point to log in from my computer so I can catch up.

DH just opened his Safari browser on his mac and it went to the apple page and said Steve Jobs 1955-2011. Apparently he just died - :shock: As a new apple devotee I'm horrified.

I have never particularly wanted to live in Chicago. I'd live in NYC or another big city, but for some reason I've never liked Chicago. Not that I've been there since I was 11 so I really don't know. Just prejudiced, I suppose. I actually considered moving there for grad school after I got accepted to Northwestern, but there was no way I could afford the tuition to go to Northwestern and it was way more than I could borrow in student loans, so I stayed here. The rest is history. I wonder sometimes how different my life would have been if I'd moved there for grad school. My favorite professor got his Ph.D. there.

I went to the PT today - they did finally approve my claim. This PT is awesome. He has a doctorate in PT which is awesome (I don't know any doctor's level PTs) and was a PT in the army. He said it was my LCL (which is what my DH thought after reading his sports injury book) and possibly a torn meniscus. He also said I'm moderately to severely flatfooted, which is why both my knees are completely out of alignment, and that the ballet flats I have been wearing are the worst shoes I could possibly wear with two knees in a state of near collapse. I'm supposed to go buy new shoes. I saw an ortho surgeon years ago who told me my knees were out of alignment, but he never said a word about my feet so I asked if maybe my feet collapsed because of the knees but the PT today said it was the other way around but the doctor never looked beyond my knee at time because I only complained about my knee. So far I think this guy is great.

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 06:39 PM

My hundred-dollar bills are so new that they stick to each other.

I'm sorry, but that really is annoying!! The 3rd world problems were funny, but I feel guilty for thinking so. :P

DH just opened his Safari browser on his mac and it went to the apple page and said Steve Jobs 1955-2011. Apparently he just died - :shock: As a new apple devotee I'm horrified.

I saw that. It is very sad indeed. I was so shocked I had to text my boss to see if he was aware and if it was true or not. I mean, it's not totally unexpected but I still didn't want to believe it.

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 06:54 PM

DH just opened his Safari browser on his mac and it went to the apple page and said Steve Jobs 1955-2011. Apparently he just died - :shock: As a new apple devotee I'm horrified.

I have never particularly wanted to live in Chicago. I'd live in NYC or another big city, but for some reason I've never liked Chicago. Not that I've been there since I was 11 so I really don't know. Just prejudiced, I suppose. I actually considered moving there for grad school after I got accepted to Northwestern, but there was no way I could afford the tuition to go to Northwestern and it was way more than I could borrow in student loans, so I stayed here. The rest is history. I wonder sometimes how different my life would have been if I'd moved there for grad school. My favorite professor got his Ph.D. there.

I went to the PT today - they did finally approve my claim. This PT is awesome. He has a doctorate in PT which is awesome (I don't know any doctor's level PTs) and was a PT in the army. He said it was my LCL (which is what my DH thought after reading his sports injury book) and possibly a torn meniscus. He also said I'm moderately to severely flatfooted, which is why both my knees are completely out of alignment, and that the ballet flats I have been wearing are the worst shoes I could possibly wear with two knees in a state of near collapse. I'm supposed to go buy new shoes. I saw an ortho surgeon years ago who told me my knees were out of alignment, but he never said a word about my feet so I asked if maybe my feet collapsed because of the knees but the PT today said it was the other way around but the doctor never looked beyond my knee at time because I only complained about my knee. So far I think this guy is great.

Gwen, I know I'm sitting here in shock and literally crying. And the only apple thing I own is an iPod....which I had just been using while on the elliptical. But I plan on getting an iPad probably when the 3rd generation comes out.

I like to visit Chicago. As in I like the museums. But beyond that, nope, I do not like IL or Chicago. Well they have pretty good pizza (never realized how good until I moved someplace that is very Norwegian). I like Minneapolis/St Paul better. Big difference in going to the amusement park in Gurnee, IL...six flags....and going to the one in the twin cities in terms of people niceness.

Hey I just found out within the last year that I'm flat footed too. And I do have knee troubles, tend to trip easily and tend to get heel spurs. I was told to hardly ever go barefoot and have taken to even wearing slippers that have a thicker sole and a bit of support at home. And I totally stopped working out barefoot....which I was doing videos at home that way. I don't need inserts but do need arch support...and Crocs were ok'd for that. But most flip flops or flats...nope.

AbbeysMom

10-05-2011, 06:58 PM

So sad about Steve Jobs. My first computer (when I was 10) was an apple computer. He changed a whole generation through several brilliant inventions. :(

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 06:59 PM

Bridget, I hope that you get to live in a place like that someday!

LOL course that would be like a nightmare for me. I have fields behind my house right now and OMG the bugs....I have never seen grasshoppers that big before and one landed on me and I screamed and Dh laughed at me. I like the privacy of the fields but I also look forward to the day that it gets developed and homes are on that side and behind me....so long as I like the neighbors! I think that it would cut down a lot on the bugs. And maybe i wouldn't be so scared of the backyard at night...its too dark back there!

Bridget

10-05-2011, 06:59 PM

Wow, that is sad. Was he suffering an illness? I admit I am totally in the backwoods as far as technology goes and know nothing of nor own any apple products. He was pretty young.

I'm not a fan of Chicago either and yes very much segregated. My best friend lived there for a summer with her hispanic boyfriend and his family and we used to talk about that all the time.
Chicago is great to visit but I'd never want to live there.

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 07:04 PM

PT wants me to wear tennis shoes but I don't know what to do about work. I've been on a mission to improve my wardrobe so I've been wearing nicer dress pants and I will not wear tennis shoes and dress pants. I'm also not going to go back to jeans just so I can wear tennis shoes with them. Ironically, though, I did wear jeans today because it was a writing day and I'm in a lot of pain so didn't want to get prettied up this morning so I went to work looking totally unprofessional and unshowered and that was the PT's first encounter with me.

Bridget

10-05-2011, 07:05 PM

Ok, I see he had cancer. :( Such an ugly horrible disease.
It must have been so difficult for him when he stepped down and had to admit to himself he couldn't do his job anymore. My mom could never bring herself to do that. Luckily she worked in an office with just one other woman who adored her and she sort of just made it seem like my mom was still working when she clearly could hardly even formulate an email.

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 07:09 PM

I'm pretty sure Steve Jobs had cancer. He issued a statement aboutna month ago saying that he was stepping downed as CEO and in it, he said he had always told the board he would be the first to let them know if he couldn't do his job, and sadly, that day had now come. Other than that he released very little information about hos condition but there were some pictures of him looking thin as a rail.

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 07:11 PM

I was reading reviews today about the latest iPhone being a dud...I nearly teased my boss about it because he's "Mac" in our office (I'm "PC") but then I thought of Steve Jobs and didn't. I knew he'd stepped down in August and was likely not doing well. It just seemed like a line that would be too mean to cross, even though Mr. Jobs wouldn't have been aware of it. I only kid John (my boss) about Macs sucking.

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 07:11 PM

Beat me to it, Bridget! My partner at work is going through chemotherapy and she refuses to admit when she's having a rough day. I've told her to go home early a couple of time because she gets so tired. She took today off and I'm really glad she did.

missychrissy

10-05-2011, 07:12 PM

He had pancreatic cancer. :(

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 07:16 PM

That's the kind Patrick Swayze had, isn't it?

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 07:19 PM

Gwen, go to a really good shoe store and try some on there. Something like this http://www.schulershoes.com/Womens is where I go. You get a great fit, good support, good materials, and shoes like this last me a couple of years of wearing daily.

I actually need some new ones myself and might go in the near future because the sandals I have been wearing all summer aren't going to cut it in the winter!

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 07:19 PM

Yes, not sure if the kind of tumor was the same but pancreatic is an awful one...probably one of the worst. :(

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 07:24 PM

Jennifer, I actually like quite a few of those!

But I have a feeling i'm not going to give up my flip flops at home in the 117 degree summers. I hate having anything on my feet.

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 07:31 PM

My brother's GF (almost called her my SIL until I realized she isn't! Wish she were) posted this on FB:

‎"Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart." - Steve Jobs, Stanford commencement speech 2005.

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 07:33 PM

And I have to lol a little that one of the people who "liked" that quote had an upside down apple logo as a profile pic. I'm sad - but apparently not that sad.

Bridget

10-05-2011, 07:46 PM

Great quote.
The upside down apple is kind of funny. I can't believe how many people of facebook are talking about it. Like, every single person posting right now.

Ky'sMom

10-05-2011, 08:14 PM

I logged on and read about his death as well and was saddened. He was so young. I also am not really techy but I remember how innovative Apple was years ago with their little square computers as I called them.

Erin

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 08:40 PM

I think that for so many of us he changed our lives...technology wise. Pretty much most people have an iPod or if not, an MP3 player that wants to be an iPod. Or an iPhone, or an iPad....or a mac computer.

3andMe

10-05-2011, 08:53 PM

Steve Jobs had a less-common form of pancreatic cancer and also had a liver transplant since he was diagnosed. I am saddened, but also surprised that he has made it this long. Pancreatic cancer is very deadly. The five-year survival rate is very low (4%), and he was diagnosed in 2003. Being in the Bay Area, we have been kept abreast as much as he has allowed, because it is more newsworthy to us. It is a total surprise to me that some people don't know that he had cancer. I turn on AM radio on my commute and hear what speech he's giving and if he's looking more gaunt than usual.

Hey I just found out within the last year that I'm flat footed too. And I do have knee troubles, tend to trip easily and tend to get heel spurs. I was told to hardly ever go barefoot and have taken to even wearing slippers that have a thicker sole and a bit of support at home. And I totally stopped working out barefoot....which I was doing videos at home that way. I don't need inserts but do need arch support...and Crocs were ok'd for that. But most flip flops or flats...nope.

I am the opposite of flat-footed with very high arches, but I also have knee and hip troubles and have feet problems and went to a podiatrist last year because of the feet problems. Since I'm on my feet all day, I can't afford to have continual pain. My podiatrist told me to STOP wearing crocs at work, even though they were super-comfy, because he said the flexibility in them was very bad for feet in general. He said the best shoes for feet, regardless of foot style, was a low heel, with little flexibility in the arch region and wide enough in the ball of the foot that no crowding occurred. He recommended Danskos. I actually don't like Danskos too much, but I have a pair of Keens for playground wear and Ariat clogs for other occasions.

Gwenn

10-05-2011, 09:12 PM

Good to know. I'll see what carries those brands here, since the store Jennifer linked doesn't have a branch here. I pretty much wear clogs in the winter and flats/sandals/flip flops in summer. I owner if my Clark's clogs would be more acceptable to my PT?

Cosmosmom

10-05-2011, 09:55 PM

Yeah I have some Dansko but I tend to trip in them...too high a heel. Seriously I will just twist an ankle while standing still....so embarrassing at work.
I was told by ortho that Crocs were ok and decent enough but my bigger issue is the heel spur so I need the heels to be more cushy. I did get a big thumbs up on the Naot shoes I have.....but now they are getting too worn out.

I'm sure that there is probably a family owned store by you that carries those kinds of brands.

And I bet that you could find flip flop sandals that have decent support like maybe spenco? Or these aren't cheap but if you find this brand http://www.mephisto.com/spip.php?page=catalogue_femme&lang=en they are FANTASTIC. I had a couple of their sandals in high school and OMG they were so comfortable.

missychrissy

10-06-2011, 06:08 AM

That's the kind Patrick Swayze had, isn't it?

Yes

Jennifer, I actually like quite a few of those!

But I have a feeling i'm not going to give up my flip flops at home in the 117 degree summers. I hate having anything on my feet.

Me too. It's been in the 60's and I still prefer flip flops. Even in winter, when I'm home for the day I'm barefoot. I loathe shoes!

I think that for so many of us he changed our lives...technology wise. Pretty much most people have an iPod or if not, an MP3 player that wants to be an iPod. Or an iPhone, or an iPad....or a mac computer.

My boss was saying last night if it wasn't for him he probably wouldn't have ever gotten into computers at all. He's an Apple freak. It kinda makes you think...how many lives did he touch in very significant ways without ever realizing it.

Cosmosmom

10-06-2011, 08:29 AM

Why isn't is the weekend yet? I so wanted to sleep in this morning...and it's not even Friday yet. :(

What's everyone doing this weekend? We are having a train weekend....Saturday is a local train show...DH is really into trains and wants to get a layout going in the basement. Sunday we are going on a scenic train ride looking at fall colors. Says to enjoy beautiful river views as the train hugs limestone cliffs and goes over a draw bridge and have brunch. And so far the weather looks good for it too!

Ky'sMom

10-06-2011, 08:43 AM

I wanted to sleep in this morning and yesterday morning. I nearly overslept this morning. DH actually woke me up, which he usually doesn't do if I oversleep for some reason.

This weekend I am hosting the robotics kids at my house for our Saturday meeting. DH is going to Fort Valley, GA a couple miles from us to visit some relatives he has never met so will be gone all day Saturday, maybe through Sunday. I'll probably take the kids out to get some dinner on Saturday and on Sunday I am going to sleep until 10am, maybe 11am and then maybe go to the zoo since the weather has been so nice. Not much planned. I may look up some festivals to go to since it is fall festival season here, but I really don't like festivals much so maybe not, especially if DH won't be here as he is the festival lover in our house.

Erin

daylilies

10-06-2011, 09:50 AM

Not sure, DH is on call so we can't go far in case he gets called into work. He has a few home projects he wants to do anyway.

Actually tomorrow we're going to see Jay and Silent Bob at a theater in Boston. They do a podcast and I guess their show is like that, just them kinda shooting the breeze talking about the good old days. I'm excited. I love Kevin Smith's movies and I kinda have a crush on Jason Mewes. LOL

Bridget

10-06-2011, 10:01 AM

Saturday I'm taking the kids to a casual kid friendly wedding reception that I wasn't invited to. :laugh: I swear, my brother's friends don't send me invites to anything but then they tell him,"Bring your sister and her kids!"
Sunday hopefully I'm doing nothing but hanging out at home.

Smplyme89

10-06-2011, 10:06 AM

3 day weekend and I'm hoping to accomplish nothing :D Although I know thats not going to happen :laugh:

missychrissy

10-06-2011, 10:33 AM

we don't have any plans...that I know of. I'm sure the girls do, and they'll tell me 15 minutes before they need to be there. :P

The train ride sounds like fun Jennifer. Owego actually has a little old passenger train thing that I haven't ever been on. Every year I say, "this year we're gonna do it" but then I don't. Tim (and most my classmates) got to go on it for a school field trip. It doesn't go very far...maybe 20 miles?

There are lots of them up in the Adirondacks. Again, I always intend on going but never do. As depressing as fall is, I think coupled with a train ride I could actually enjoy that scenery.

AmeriBrit

10-06-2011, 01:08 PM

I'm not sure what we're doing this weekend; if the weather keeps up like it is, we'll have to find things to do in doors, so we'll probably take the boys swimming one day at the local pool.

Ugh, this afternoon was horrible. Travis was a demon child after lunch time. He was shouting and demanding things and being horrible to Cash. I took his lovey "pillow" away from him and he threw the biggest fit I've ever seen him throw while shouting, "I'm ANGRY!" (That part made me laugh because of how true it was!) DH and I talked to him about his behavior at bedtime and he says he'll be better tomorrow, but who knows. I sure hope we don't have a similar day to today for a looong time if ever again! :S

Cosmosmom

10-06-2011, 01:19 PM

I like to post now and see my ticker. Everytime I see it, I want to smile. After over four years here, I finally can have one.

Smplyme89

10-06-2011, 01:24 PM

I'm sorry Travis had such a bad day :( :hugs:

Jennifer I am SO excited for you!!! I actually thought of you the other night (I was talking to a GF about my wanting to adopt) and I realized I kept forgetting to ask if they got your profile online??

missychrissy

10-06-2011, 01:26 PM

I like to post now and see my ticker. Everytime I see it, I want to smile. After over four years here, I finally can have one.
:wub: I love it!!

Sorry Travis had such a bad day Ash. I do hope today goes better. I hate days like that.

Cosmosmom

10-06-2011, 01:42 PM

No I'm not online. Our agency has JUST started putting some families online if you want. I haven't listened to the webinar yet or thought about too much but might do the work over the winter. Only one couple in my group is on there (out of 5 or 6 couples) and really only a handful from all the waiting families they currently have. They try to keep a balance of waiting families with the number of placements they average a year to be about the same....something like 70-80.

Smplyme89

10-06-2011, 02:19 PM

OK! Honestly I'm wondering for selfish reasons since I'm curious to see your portfolio, I bet its beautiful :wub:

demigraf

10-06-2011, 03:49 PM

Hi guys! :hi: Yes, it took me this long to get caught up to you girls. Every time I'd almost get caught up, I'd get pulled away and come back to find another page to read. You ladies are worth it, of course.

Erin - to resurrect an old topic - I ran the numbers and calculated that I clean my house - at most - about 1.667% the amount of time that you clean yours. You're amazing! And also, the robotics program at Ky's school sounds pretty amazing too. It would be unfortunate if you do have to move away to another city and need to pull Ky out of his program. Ky sounds like he's really adaptable, though, and will make the best out of whatever environment he's in.

Ash - I'm sorry, Travis had a demonic day. I can totally relate, what with having my little guy who is NOT shy about showing his displeasure with us. Bodhi can speak so sharply, it can be jarring at times. I feel like I always need to reel my DH back in when he's correcting B. I have a hard time getting him to see that B isn't trying to be a jerk. Our kid is admittedly more willful than others and not afraid to express his feelings, but he hasn't quite fine-tuned his delivery (obviously, since he isn't even 3 yet). I keep having to remind DH that he needs to erase any sort of tone from his voice that says "You should have known better!", because more than half the time, Bodhi really doesn't know any better, and the rest of the time he just can't control himself. DH just keeps falling into the trap of expecting Bodhi to be a miniature adult and then getting upset when he's not.

I also truly dislike it when DH gets sarcastic with Bodhi. Honestly, it's just a selfish way for DH to vent his frustrations.

Whew, well, glad I got that off my chest. LOL. Just like the conversation went in previous pages, my DH isn't a horrible person. I'm just sharing the difficult time I'm having with him in this one area.

Molly, that was the most awesome little Inigo Montoya emoticon ever. I am so going to start making my own like that.

Mandy, how is your knee today? I am so happy that we all started talking shoes because I recently discovered this blog that is all about comfort footwear: http://barkingdogshoes.com/ I typically wear brands like Simple, Sofft, Born and Naot, and the blog has opened my eyes to all sorts of new makes. This lady has found herself quite a niche in the blogosphere. I think a bunch of shoe brands have started sending her pairs to demo on her blog. I'm jealous. Mainly, I'm grateful, though, because I was starting to see my shoe collection becoming more than 60% Mary Janes (not counting sneakers, of course) and really needed to find something different for my feet.

L, I love little S in your latest siggy. He looks like he's saying "Check me out!"

Katy, were you saying it was you who read Malcolm Gladwell, or your friend? I'm undecided on the debate as to whether it's better or worse for B to be on the older/younger side of the spectrum in his classes. The article made me think, though, because B is really young compared to the other kids in his preschool. It used to bother me for a couple of reasons: 1) that he wasn't being taught to his level and, because of that, would come to the wrong conclusion that it's normal & expected for things to be "over his head", which he'd carry over into most of his life. I wouldn't want him to develop the attitude of "why bother?" when he's trying to master anything new, and 2) that he was emotionally less mature than the other kids, and that was going to make him feel uncomfortable and underconfident on a regular basis. The reality of his time at school so far, though, is that it's really stretched him. His vocabulary is growing by leaps and bounds (and he's a clearer speaker than some kids who are more than a year older than him). He seems to be keeping up with the ABC/123's they're all being taught, which is nice. It's also introduced some good routines into our household, in terms of reinforcing that he listen to us and checking what day it is on the calendar so we can look up the activity, etc. So, so far, his "youth" hasn't been a bad thing in terms of schooling. When he reaches kindergarten age, he's going to be on the older side, actually, having a b'day in January. I know some are of the opinion that being older makes you more confident due to the fact that you're physically and emotionally more mature compared to your classmates. Me, I worry that Bodhi is going to get bored. But we'll cross that bridge when we get there.

I'm going to click "Post" now, but will come back with more news/chatter soon. :)

missychrissy

10-06-2011, 05:17 PM

Gwenn

10-06-2011, 06:07 PM

Jennifer, I meant to say yesterday that I was really pleased to see your new ticker. But then I decided I was being a post ho and I wasn't going to post anything else until someone else did. ;) I'm happy and excited for you.

Myles, my knee is still hurting, but less so. I can tell the PT is helping already. I'm actually excited to go tomorrow. Even more excited because my appointment is at 9:00 so I'm not going in to work until after - and since I start work at 8:00 that means I get to be lazy tomorrow morning! Yay!

Chrissy, that's funny about Connor. Clever he recognized it, but where did he see it before?

missychrissy

10-06-2011, 06:17 PM

Chrissy, that's funny about Connor. Clever he recognized it, but where did he see it before?
I don't know for sure. Either it popped up as a suggestion on the right when he was watching something else, or one of his older sisters found it for him and shared it.

Smplyme89

10-06-2011, 07:01 PM

I want to watch the butterfly eating/pooping dinosaur :laugh:

DH didn't believe me that Nolan would be using a computer before he entered school and now I have proof :P

missychrissy

10-06-2011, 07:06 PM

Conner was on KneeBouncers (when it was all free) when he was 4 months old. I have video of that!

I thought finding the pooping dinosaur video would be easy, but apparently there are lots of them!! If I get a chance, I'll try to go through his history over the weekend and find it.

Cosmosmom

10-06-2011, 07:21 PM

More on shoes...I have literally one pair of dress shoes, black heels (not too high cuz I'm a major klutz)...and for heels they are pretty comfortable. I basically wear to weddings and to my last job interview. So I like this brand too http://www.beautifeelshop.com/category_s/3.htm

Go me....I just exercised AGAIN. Two nights in a row! Using the elliptical I bought. Doing around 13-16 minutes on it and some stretches after. Kind of weird to me that it seems to bother my knee and my foot (different sides of course) much less than just walking. And burns way more calories in the same amount of time.

Oh and I'm officially complaining about the heat. I'm tired of 80's and high 70's in OCTOBER. I would like my 40's at night and low to mid 60's back like it should be this time of year.

Cosmosmom

10-06-2011, 07:25 PM

Ky'sMom

10-07-2011, 07:02 AM

Conner wanted to know when Daddy & I were going to leave the kitchen and go in the living room. 'His' computer is in what should be the dining room, and there's only a counter between those two rooms. I instantly knew something was up, and sure enough he wanted to watch a YouTube video of some cartoon dinosaur eating butterflies and pooping all over. The voice on the video was saying things like, "If dinosaurs sh!t that much, I won't have one for a pet."

We try not to swear in front of Conner, but we're not prudes about it either. If there's minor swearing in a movie, I don't even give it a second thought. But he just knew this wouldn't be something we'd approve of and was trying to get us out of the room so he could watch it.

Now I'm curious to know how he found it. He'd obviously seen it before. I'm 1/2 upset and 1/2 amused.

That is too funny!! Even though Conner is being naughty with his sh !tting dinosaur! I want to see it too!! He is a smarty too to try to get you to leave the room. All around giggle worthy!

Erin - to resurrect an old topic - I ran the numbers and calculated that I clean my house - at most - about 1.667% the amount of time that you clean yours. You're amazing! And also, the robotics program at Ky's school sounds pretty amazing too. It would be unfortunate if you do have to move away to another city and need to pull Ky out of his program. Ky sounds like he's really adaptable, though, and will make the best out of whatever environment he's in.

You know what, your house is probably cleaner than mine even though you clean less. No one in my house cleans up after themselves so it is usually messy, which is why I do so much cleaning. I'm starting just not to care anymore but my bathroom, kitchen, living room, and office is always clean and mine and Elle's clothes are always washed and put up immediately. And honestly even though I do a lot of chores, they are spread out so that I never spend more than an hour a day doing chores. I only do laundry on Thursdays and wash dishes and laundry to me really isn't a big chores since I only do two loads now with me and Elle's clothes. It it my "TV watching day," Thursday that is, and I must watch Grey's Anatomy so I scheduled my chores to include time for me to wash my clothes. I fold them while watching Grey's.

I was joking with DH that soon I'm going to have to schedule him in some of the good stuff because he is making me tired keeping me up late and so he may have to be scheduled at 9pm so that I can still watch Grey's Anatomy on Thursday and he may be scheduled at 8:30 pm on Wednesdays so that I can watch Modern Family :laugh:. He didn't like that idea.

And Jen I LOVE 70s and 80s. You would so hate it here in Atlanta with our humidity and high temps for 4 months out of the year (usually 90+ from June through September, this year it was May through September). It is in the low 80s now and everyone I know is talking about how relieved they are to be out of the summer temps of 90+. We had about two months worth of temps 95+ in a row this summer, which is unusual.

I hope the low 80s last a while. DH and Ky are going to go on a camping trip next week and I still may go ahead and visit Tallulah Falls here in GA when the weather gets a little cooler, probably next month, in the 60s.

Erin

3andMe

10-07-2011, 07:05 AM

Chrissy, I will try to remind myself when I get home to post a link to a computer matching/memory game that the twins have been doing independently. It's really cool.

It's been raining for the past few days, really hard. I spent all morning looking for rain boots for baby S. one day and then was rewarded by his utter delight in splashing through puddles. This is his first real conscious experience with rain. He was jumping up and down, and then he asked me to jump with him, so I did. Then he leaned down and splashed with his hands. Passersby were smiling at how cute and happy he was. Then he got down on his hands and knees and tried to drink from the puddle. Um, NOPE! I dragged him away as he started to scream and kick in frustration at being thwarted.

My actual first-world problem. I packed away all of my summer clothes in anticipation of winter, and this weekend it is supposed to be warm, and next week it is supposed to be in the 90s! It has only been in the 90s ONCE all summer, and NOW it gets this hot?!? Crazy.

We are meeting our twin club at a pumpkin patch on Saturday after swimming lessons. There is going to be a hay ride, a picnic, pony rides, feeding animals, and coincidentally apparently another twins club and a triplet club are going to be there at the same time, so the place is going to be overrun with multiples.

Jennifer, congrats on the exercise. And the ticker! And can I ask a stupid question -- how did you decide on the date to put in it? Because I know you've been waiting a lot longer than that, so was that a specific step? Also, you are totally making me want to get new shoes.

Mylah, I have to clock in now, but I just wanted to say really quickly that I have noticed that baby S. seems to really be stretching himself to his full capabilities to try to catch up to the twins, and I am doing things with him much earlier than the twins also, like coloring and the alphabet and stuff too (he's been singing parts of the ABCs for months) and I think hanging around older kids has been really advantageous to his development. I know it's not a preschool situation, but I think it's really helpful both intellectually and socially. Also, I skipped a grade in gradeschool and I have only been happy with it, never unhappy.

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 07:36 AM

I'm kind of eyeing this right now http://www.tvstandbutler.com/store/p/9074-Arts-and-Crafts-Mission-TV-Bunching-Tower-with-48-inch-Console-.html

I love love love arts and crafts/mission style and already have some in the living room. Not sure if DH would want the 60 inch console middle piece or the 48 inch. I really want a new TV....we have a 27 inch one that is over 8.5 yrs old and while fine when the living room was 11-12 feet wide, it's kind of small in the 16 ft wide living room. Plus it cuts stuff off being square and old and not the newer wider kind.

That one is like half the price of others I was finding....was starting to think I would have custom design one because of the style and that I wanted hidden storage and glass display areas.

I like that a lot! Rich & I looked at one very similar, but the place wanted to charge for each piece (it was 3 units in all) and was waaaayyyy overpriced so we opted not to get it. Absolutely loved it though.

Chrissy, I will try to remind myself when I get home to post a link to a computer matching/memory game that the twins have been doing independently. It's really cool.
Thank you!

Awww about S. I bet that was cute as can be! Even the attempt to lick the puddle!

I'm jealous of your fwp. I wish I was contending with 90 degrees.

Bridget

10-07-2011, 07:50 AM

Love the puddle story Lydia! When dbf's mom was here I know she so badly wanted to tell Kai to stop jumping in every puddle (in his runners) but she held back. Also she was mortified when he sat in the bird bath right before we were about to go on a walk but she kept quiet when I just calmly told Kai to go change his pants. Did I tell you guys that on the drive to the airport she raved to dbf about my mothering? This is a shock to me because in the past, especially when Savana was at that very difficult 2-3 year old phase, she questioned and frowned upon the fact that I didn't "punish" her for her behavior.

Ok, this was so weird. Last night I was talking to one of my really good friends whom I haven't caught up with in a long time. After we shared some stories about how the kids were doing and some parenting trials she asked me, "So are you taking anything?"
I was like "As in...?" and she said, "Happy pills."
Um...no. She was totally shocked and started saying how she doesn't know how I do it and every mom she knows is on something. I was left totally speechless. Then I came home and told dbf the story and he said his friend's wife takes anti-d's and so his friend takes them too. He had asked his friend if they were depressed and he said no but it just makes them feel better.

I think I am going to send my friend an email and tell her some vitamins she can take now that I have recovered from my shock of her just assuming I was on something because I'm happy with my life. I also asked her if she felt like the meds were helping her and she said, "Kind of but I wish they'd give me more." That worried me. Are they addictive? I mean it makes me wonder how common it is for people to just turn to medication right away and for dr's to just prescribe them freely.

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 08:00 AM

I'm so glad your mil is recognizing the good work you do and giving you credit for it. I'm beyond thrilled that she said as much to dbf. Who knows what she might say that might make something click in him. Sometimes it does take someone from the 'outside' to really get a point across. And sometimes, it takes a little while before the person gets it, but good things can come from her conversation with him. Here's hoping!!

I really have issues with how easy it is for people to get antidepressants and antianxiety medications. Well, maybe not with how easy it is, but how they're just prescribed to anyone that complains that life is feeling rough, and then they're not given other tools to figure out how to live without them.

I've come very close to asking for something myself, especially in recent weeks, but now that the worst is over I'm glad I didn't go for it. I don't think antidepressants are addicting, but people do have a false idea of what those 'magic pills' can do for them. And they're almost never told that their own thought process is their worst enemy and that in order to be happy they have to make internal changes. Like Pink says, make the voices in your head like you instead.

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 08:33 AM

Chrissy, OMG tell me about it. I just really do not want to spend 4-5K on a freaking entertainment center and most I have been seeing in the style I like have been about that. I know DH though and he really needs a lot of time to think about stuff before spending money. took at least a couple of months to go for the bedroom furniture we have.....good news is that taking the time means I end up making sure that I really love something and still love it years later.

L, that is adorable about S trying to lick the puddle! Don't blame you for saying no that one!

I picked that date because that was the day we got the letter that the home study was complete and we were officially on the books. The agency (there are 10 in the state) has a binder of dear birth mom letters...basically a 1 pg letter we wrote with our picture on it (same one I have on FB right now) and on the back is some stats about us like our age, jobs, education, pets, don't smoke, childcare plans. The newest families are put in the back of the book and move our way up towards the front. The birth parents look at these binders and from there pick the families they want to see portfolios of. So I kind of see that as the offiically waiting date since before that I was still getting stuff together and families weren't seeing us.

Myles, I wouldn't worry so much about the age thing since he has a Jan. birthday anyway for when school starts. I was one who has that Sept birthday and missed the cutoff by 12 days so my parents had me tested to go ahead and I passed. My mom talked to my friends mom who was a psychologist and they decided to not push me ahead. Instead I did a private school preK/K kind of program that year. What did it was they decided they wanted me to be older and more mature, not less mature than my classmates.....and my mom wanted me to leave for college at almost 19 instead of just barely 18. I wasn't really bored in school....I always had a book to read if I finished early. :) And for a while did things like gifted program in grade school or the higher level extra reading class or one year I was in 3rd grade and in the 3/4 grade split class and in junior high and high school, took mostly honors level classes. I'm glad to have been one of the older kids and not the youngest.

Bridget that is crazy about the happy pills. I don't really know too many people who take them (that I know of!).

So I started reading this book yesterday http://www.amazon.com/Move-Little-Lose-Lot-T/dp/0307408558/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1317997224&sr=1-2 and it's really interesting and good so far. it's basically about how inactive we are (well not all of us but certainly a lot)....we sit in cars, we sit at work all day, and we get home and sit some more. He calls it sitting disease and claims that the amount of calories we eat isn't really that much different than say 20-30 years ago but health has gotten so much worse and obesity has gone through the roof. And that someone who sits the vast majority of the day but goes to the gym 3 times a week cannot say that they have active and the amount of calories burned isn't that big a dent from all the sitting. He's been talking about how even just not that long ago, you still had to get up and move around even at an office job to file things, go to the copier, chat with others...and now we don't even do that much of that. That hobbies used to be things like bowling and gardening and golf....now it's TV and internet.
he says our bodies were evolved to be moving...walking, standing, doing things and that people think better when they are moving, kids do better in school, and people are much less depressed and happier.
I'm so guility of that. I do get up a little at work but sometimes 3-4 hours can go buy and I haven't gotten up. And than I go home, often sit while dinner is cooking unless I'm stirring or chopping something and than I sit some more while watching TV for a few hours or reading at night. I'm going to try to make an effort to get up and walk around at least some once an hour. And try to stand while waiting for dinner instead of sitting at the snack bar while waiting for water to boil or whatever. Just try to fit in more activity and movement in the day. I mean the elliptical is great and I will keep up that but it's not enough to do that if I'm sitting the rest of the day!
will be interesting to see what the rest of the book says since I'm only like 50 pages in.

Bridget

10-07-2011, 08:41 AM

Very interesting, Jennifer.
When you get your child you will be moving so much which you already know from taking care of children in the past. I swear, I always rolled my eyes at celebrities who said they lost the baby weight after the 2nd,3rd, etc child by chasing the kids around. But seriously, some days I feel like the only time I sit is when I'm nursing Sawyer or reading stories.

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 08:53 AM

yeah that is one of the reasons I started up with the elliptical. I don't have any desire to be thin but I want like 30-40 lbs gone. I want to have some flexibility back and just have an easier time getting up off the floor again when I'm there playing with the baby/kid and that would do it for me. In my head it sounds great to be active but sitting around so much is an easy habit to get into. Even though we do things like clean the house regularly....it's basically two adults who pick up after ourselves pretty well so it's not that much work to keep clean. After all the years of being a student and having reading as a favorite hobby....just what I do without even thinking about it.

Bridget

10-07-2011, 09:31 AM

Ky'sMom

10-07-2011, 09:47 AM

I also have issues with how easy it is to get depression/anxiety pills. It seems now-a-days people feel that they should never be depressed or anxious about anything. I see it as normal and as long as it isn't something that is long term or interfering significantly with your life (like you cannot get up, or are having anxiety attacks every day) then you are just normal. Everyone goes through ups and downs.

I don't know, I just feel like we are always looking for a "magic pill." I know quite a few people who take anti-depressants. My mom admitted to me that she was kind of depressed when she and my dad were divorcing and that she admitted this to her PCP at the time and the guy just wrote her a script for Paxil. No referral to a psychologist/psychiatrist, nothing. Just pills. It was ridiculous to her and to me. She didn't take the pills and instead went to a counselor and is doing much better now.

I agree with the article Jen, that we sit too much. I do think I sit too much and I have probably gained 15lbs in the past 6-8 months because I have been sitting more than usual. This is why I have scheduled some gym time. I'm going to build back up to 60 minutes 5 times per week. Before going back to work I went to the gym for about 2 hours 6 days a week. I lost over 55lbs then and I so do not want to gain it all back because of my sedentary office job. My workout time (even though it exhausted me) is the main thing I miss about not working. That and joking around Elle and going to the park every day with the kids. I was not as sedentary as I am now. I often tell DH that being a SAH parent is much tougher than working. I did WAY more then than I do now and was usually exhausted by the end of the day so I can see how you can lose weight staying home and running after kids all day as long as you aren't eating a ton of caloric food. Most days I would forget to eat.

And Bridget, I would be upset by the letter. I wouldn't even want to show it to my kid. That is so generic.

Erin

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 09:54 AM

I think I run up and down my basement steps about 15 times a day. That's my excersize.

Is this a silly thing to by annoyed about? Almost a year ago Savana dicated a letter to me to send to Mary Pope Osborne, the author of the magic treehouse series telling her how much she loved her books and how she also wants to write books when she grows up. I also included a little at the end about how we are a homeschool family and her books have opened up so many windows of exploration for us.
Well last week we got a generic letter from random house thanking us for our letter and telling us to be sure to watch out for her 2 new books. I was disappointed that it seemed like the letter was just a promotion of her books instead of a reply to a little girl's letter.

No, I'd be annoyed too. It was blatantly promotional only. I don't know about all the authors here at Cornell, but I know one that did a Skype session with a classroom full of middle school students in CA that read her book as a class project and Bob Morgan responds to emails personally all the time. I doubt he can reply to all of them though, 'cause when I helped him with an email issue he easily had 300 come in once I got it working, and that was just from 1 day. :shock: Oh, to be famous!

I also have issues with how easy it is to get depression/anxiety pills. It seems now-a-days people feel that they should never be depressed or anxious about anything. I see it as normal and as long as it isn't something that is long term or interfering significantly with your life (like you cannot get up, or are having anxiety attacks every day) then you are just normal. Everyone goes through ups and downs.

I don't know, I just feel like we are always looking for a "magic pill." I know quite a few people who take anti-depressants. My mom admitted to me that she was kind of depressed when she and my dad were divorcing and that she admitted this to her PCP at the time and the guy just wrote her a script for Paxil. No referral to a psychologist/psychiatrist, nothing. Just pills. It was ridiculous to her and to me. She didn't take the pills and instead went to a counselor and is doing much better now.

I agree with the article Jen, that we sit too much. I do think I sit too much and I have probably gained 15lbs in the past 6-8 months because I have been sitting more than usual. This is why I have scheduled some gym time. I'm going to build back up to 60 minutes 5 times per week. Before going back to work I went to the gym for about 2 hours 6 days a week. I lost over 55lbs then and I so do not want to gain it all back because of my sedentary office job. My workout time (even though it exhausted me) is the main thing I miss about not working. That and joking around Elle and going to the park every day with the kids. I was not as sedentary as I am now. I often tell DH that being a SAH parent is much tougher than working. I did WAY more then than I do now and was usually exhausted by the end of the day so I can see how you can lose weight staying home and running after kids all day as long as you aren't eating a ton of caloric food. Most days I would forget to eat.

And Bridget, I would be upset by the letter. I wouldn't even want to show it to my kid. That is so generic.

Erin
I totally agree with you Erin. I think GP's should refer people to experts if they're thinking their patient needs antidepressants or anything like it.

I know I'm more sedentary than I ought to be, but my job does keep me moving about the building quite a bit. That said, the plans are that some day we'll remote in everywhere and almost never leave our desks. :(

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 10:05 AM

Yeah the doc that wrote the book has a setup where he stands at his desk or has a treadmill there. A bit much for me.
Most of the work done by our IT is remoting in.

Ok so far today I have been up from my desk, I think 3 times already and am about to do a bunch of circulation work that will get me up moving more. I do have to admit that after walking a tiny bit (like to the bathroom which isn't very far), I come back to the desk feeling more awake.

I'm not against anti-d drugs. but have never taken them myself even though I do at times have panic attacks (mostly it was in college and rare now). I do think that my DH should have been on them in 2006 but he refused. And I know his mom has been on them before...once dealing with anxiety that was so strong that she had a small stroke in her 40's (her husband was the cause of all the anxiety...and the cause of a lot of a lot of DH's issues).

Did you contact the author via a personal website or was it via the publisher? I have a kind of hate relationship with most publishers and it wouldn't surprise me if she never even saw the letter.

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 10:15 AM

I'm not against antidepressants at all (and the like). I just think people could be better informed about what they can and can't do for us. And people should at least be strongly encouraged, if not required, to attend some cognitive therapy to resolve those issues or get supportive therapy while they go through a crisis. For most people, the pills alone won't work.

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 10:24 AM

Yeah that is DH's stance on it too. he was more willing to go see a dr to talk about stuff than to take a pill. Course I can barely get the man to take a tylenol for a huge headache.
I did talk to someone at school about the panic attacks and she taught me some deep breathing techniques that worked well enough that I didn't have to take pills for it.

Sadly I think that part of the problem is that it is cheaper for most to take a pill than to see a psychologist and talk about things.....never checked to see what my insurance covers for behavioral health appts. Plus it's hard if they don't have good office hours to take an hour or two off work every week to go talk....that was one reason I didn't do accupuncture more than 4-5 weeks....was just too hard to get off work for it and drive accross town every single week.

demigraf

10-07-2011, 11:45 AM

Mandy, I hope you had a good lazy morning, and a productive visit with the PT. :) And it's Friday. Hooray!

Did you contact the author via a personal website or was it via the publisher? I have a kind of hate relationship with most publishers and it wouldn't surprise me if she never even saw the letter.

I had the same thoughts, Jen/Bridget. I would be annoyed too, but probably with her "handlers" and not the author herself. If you met her on the street, or somehow found an "in" to her personal mailbox, I'll bet she would have given you a heartfelt response, especially after that much time has passed.

My actual first-world problem. I packed away all of my summer clothes in anticipation of winter, and this weekend it is supposed to be warm, and next week it is supposed to be in the 90s! It has only been in the 90s ONCE all summer, and NOW it gets this hot?!? Crazy.

We are meeting our twin club at a pumpkin patch on Saturday after swimming lessons. There is going to be a hay ride, a picnic, pony rides, feeding animals, and coincidentally apparently another twins club and a triplet club are going to be there at the same time, so the place is going to be overrun with multiples.

Mylah, I have to clock in now, but I just wanted to say really quickly that I have noticed that baby S. seems to really be stretching himself to his full capabilities to try to catch up to the twins, and I am doing things with him much earlier than the twins also, like coloring and the alphabet and stuff too (he's been singing parts of the ABCs for months) and I think hanging around older kids has been really advantageous to his development. I know it's not a preschool situation, but I think it's really helpful both intellectually and socially. Also, I skipped a grade in gradeschool and I have only been happy with it, never unhappy.

See, with regards to skipping a grade, the only example I have is with my sister. She skipped first grade, and was always held up as the example of someone who never socially caught up to her peers ever since the skip. The teachers were contemplating having me skip a grade too, but my mom put her foot down about it after seeing how hard it made things for my sister. It's interesting to think about how the decisions affected us later in life. But no matter how influential the grade-skip might have been for my sister, it was probably just a minor drop in the bucket compared to the mental illness that was brewing in her head, maybe even as far back as then.

L, this weather has been so crazy and affecting to me! First it's gorgeous and hot, and then it's stormy and cold. Not only has it put me on a bit of a mood rollercoaster, but it's also severely impeded the progress of the painter that's doing the exterior of our house. I finally settled on a dark charcoal brown with dark mustard accents color scheme that I'm slightly worried I'll regret in a couple of years. I'm fairly excited about it today, though.

The pumpkin patch with the twins group sounds fun on Saturday. I think we're going to the Discovery Museum across the GG Bridge that morning with Bodhi's bud, Santi. And then it's my parents' anniversary weekend, and my dad wants to see The Blue Angels (aerobatic planes) and later to a seafood place in Half Moon Bay. It's the same place we went to on my b'day last month, but my mom fell in love with their "organic sea salt and olive oil soft serve" ice cream and has been dreaming about it since then. No one except her really wants to go back to the same place as before, but we are obliging.

I can't believe it's been a whole year since that HUGE argument with my sister at the house we rented from her. Everything was so hard and depressing for the next 4 months, what with unsupportive parents who acted like I was overreacting, job-hunting at the end of the year when no one was hiring, and needing to find work so we could move out. Then there was the spirit-crushing househunt itself. And now we're *so happy* with the way things ultimately came together. If she hadn't lied to everyone, cheated on her DH and gone 10 shades of crazy on us, we might not have moved back to the beach, made the friends we've made, and I couldn't have gathered the sufficient amount of distance from my sister to re-connect with the things that are most important to me.

Overall, I've been looking at my life story in a whole new light, now that I see how much it was colored by having a sister with a manic-depressive streak. Between her big-sister example, and having parents who were essentially "checked out" from my emotional development, I realize I was disproportionately drawn to things that were self-destructive and nihilistic. I grew up pitying myself. I think it made me a late bloomer with things like positive thinking, self-esteem, gratitude, self-reliance. I'm not really complaining about it, because it is what it was, and I like who I turned out to be. But the huge impact she must have had on me is pretty undeniable.

Sorry about the novel again. :)

demigraf

10-07-2011, 12:35 PM

Swear Alert, so I can't actually post the image in here, but I have *SO* wanted to leave something like this under the windshield wipers of at least 1000 people at times:

http://hphotos-sjc1.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/s320x320/284250_10150314544882463_108605392462_9229462_8106 040_n.jpg

:lol:

AmeriBrit

10-07-2011, 01:24 PM

Overall, I've been looking at my life story in a whole new light, now that I see how much it was colored by having a sister with a manic-depressive streak. Between her big-sister example, and having parents who were essentially "checked out" from my emotional development, I realize I was disproportionately drawn to things that were self-destructive and nihilistic. I grew up pitying myself. I think it made me a late bloomer with things like positive thinking, self-esteem, gratitude, self-reliance. I'm not really complaining about it, because it is what it was, and I like who I turned out to be. But the huge impact she must have had on me is pretty undeniable.

This is me, too, except for having the sister who's a manic-depressive. I was never neglected by my parents but they just left all 3 of us to fend for ourselves out in the world.

girlwonder

10-07-2011, 01:32 PM

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 01:33 PM

I want those - we should order some from vistaprint and split them up between all of us!
I'd never be able to use one.

Watch, now that I've said that...I'll see @$$holes parked all over!

Bridget

10-07-2011, 01:34 PM

I had someone put a note on my car that said, "nice parking asshole".
I teared up.
:laugh:
In my defense, I parked in the space provided between two cars who were gone when I came back and turns out I was on a line.

girlwonder

10-07-2011, 01:36 PM

This is me, too, except for having the sister who's a manic-depressive. I was never neglected by my parents but they just left all 3 of us to fend for ourselves out in the world.

I think that is an interesting way to look at it, Mylah. I was neglected and left to fend for myself after age 9 once I was moved into my dad and stepmother's house. I have always been a late bloomer, even to this day. I do think that part of that is due to the fact that even getting through a regular day took such monumental effort that I had very little energy left over for looking at the future and self-destructive behavior takes a lot less energy than the alternative. I'm glad you are able to be more gentle with yourself.

AbbeysMom

10-07-2011, 01:42 PM

Myles, did I ever tell you that my sister skipped a grade and I was supposed as well, but didn't, for fear of being around kids older/more emotionally mature than me? Are we like the same person?

Bridget, I'd be irritated too, but I'm thinking your letter never made to the author and was just funneled to the publisher's interns. Even as a form letter, that's pretty generic. :ohno: I wouldn't show it to her either.

Lydia, Is that really your first fwp? That makes me feel strangely shallow, since my days are filled with FWP. Like this morning, when I really wanted a vanilla latte, but couldn't get one because then I could take an afternoon nap with my toddler, and I really wanted to do that too.

I know I'm more sedentary than I ought to be, but my job does keep me moving about the building quite a bit. That said, the plans are that some day we'll remote in everywhere and almost never leave our desks. :(

If that happens, would you have an opportunity to work from home sometimes? would you want that?

AbbeysMom

10-07-2011, 01:44 PM

And I am the world's worst when it comes to parking my car. And driving. Seriously, if I had to take the test again I'd fail.

Ky'sMom

10-07-2011, 01:48 PM

I always wished I had been allowed to skip a grade. My mom refused to have me put up because she didn't want me to be ahead of my brother. When I was three I was tested and they wanted to put me in kindergarten then but my brother would have remained in Head Start at the time. I really think I would have enjoyed it. One of my good friends was put into kindergarten at 3 years old as well and she was always challenged at school and we all loved her, us nerdy kids LOL. She was our nerdy little sister. I sometimes wish I could have been the nerdy little sister too.

Elle is extremely smart bookwise and is very social. Since she is a Sept birthday and the cut off for kindergarten entrance is Aug 31st, I'm considering having her tested into kindergarten right before she turns 5. I am seriously considering it since she is like a sponge and gets along with kids of all ages. I am probably going to send her to a Montessori daycare next year if I like the one near my house that is reasonably priced. I wanted to just keep teaching her myself but she keeps saying she wants to go to a "new school." All her older little friends, except one boy have graduated to Pre-K and she misses them. I think she believes if she goes to Pre-K she will get to see her little friends again.

It is great that your year has turned around so dramatically Myles!! And it is great that you can look back and self reflect the way you do and learn from it. Not many people seem to do that IRL, but maybe they do in their own minds. I do it a lot but maybe other people don't notice, mostly DH as he always thinks I have characteristics or thoughts that no one else has ever thought about me (or at least said to me). He feels I am plotting against him in my thoughts which makes me LOL most times. I think he is coming out of that mindset though since I always laugh when he mentions how I wanted to do something to either 1-embarrass him or 2-undermine him. I told him he thinks I'm way more complicated than I am and I laugh and act like Mr. Burns from the Simpson's and tell him all my evil schemes.

And that card is hilarious!! I so am tempted to print it and put it in the parking garage on certain parking offenders!!

Oh, I just got back from the DMV so didn't do much sitting around today. I have been either walking or standing for the past 1.5 hours. I'll probably have to do the same Monday, but this is unusual. I sit at my desk most of the day. Recently though I've been trying to take a mile walk on my lunch break.

Erin

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 01:54 PM

And I am the world's worst when it comes to parking my car. And driving. Seriously, if I had to take the test again I'd fail.

You aren't the only one! There is a reason I drive a small car...and never parallel park! :laugh: I lucked out and didn't have to for the test....they did that randomly. I have a tennis ball hanging in my garage so I know where to aim and stop....and my garage has at least 4 extra feet on both sides and more than 6 feet extra in the front. And we park a Pt. Cruiser and my Caliber in there.

I also hardly ever drive freeway because I don't like going 65 and I don't like merging and rarely change lanes unless it's not busy and someone is going like 35 in a 45.

and on top of it, I have no sense of direction and get lost easily.

I'm glad DH doesn't mind driving.

AmeriBrit

10-07-2011, 02:02 PM

I'm not a great driver/parker either, but I have those rear-end beeper thingies on my car and they sure do help!

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 02:10 PM

If that happens, would you have an opportunity to work from home sometimes? would you want that?
I'm not sure if I'd want to work from home...at least not considering the way things are there right now. I like getting away from it all. In fact, I'm dreading the weekend. How sad is that?

I do hope I can get to the place where I can be introspective and look back and see where this period led to something good.

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 02:15 PM

Ky'sMom

10-07-2011, 03:07 PM

I do think I'm a good driver. Parallel parking doesn't bother me in the least...even if it's a vehicle I'm not familiar with. Well, in that sense I am more nervous than if it's my own, but I can always do it and I can't remember the last time when I didn't get it in my first attempt.

Merging and high speeds no longer bother me either. I remember the first time we drove near NYC/NJ. omg-I was literally in tears from the fear/anxiety of it all. Now, I'm like "get the fluck outta my way arsehole!" and I just change lanes. :angel:

:laugh::laugh::laugh:

I am like that too and I once was pretty anxious driving here in Atlanta. We have horrible traffic and crazy drivers from everywhere. Most native Atlantans I know don't drive.

I also am good at parking. I love parallel parking. I do that better than parking in a parking spot if you can believe it. Yeah....I'm weird like that.

Erin

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 03:12 PM

I actually made DH back me out of the garage when his mom was here and parked in the driveway...fully on the other side. :lol: I'm not very great at backing up straight.

On the flip side, I am a pretty good driver and cautious. Which works in my city when others are like me. Though I draw the light at the dude at the green light motioning ME to go....he was going straight and I was turning left. My sister and I couldn't believe that one and I refused to move until he went....my luck would be to listen to him and than he goes and I hit him and it would be my fault as I was turning left at the green light.

demigraf

10-07-2011, 03:45 PM

Myles, did I ever tell you that my sister skipped a grade and I was supposed as well, but didn't, for fear of being around kids older/more emotionally mature than me? Are we like the same person?

That's cray-cray! The other question to ask is if our sisters are the same person.

I'm seeing her this weekend for the parentals' anniversary. I have these nagging thoughts that I should have had it out with her back then, and called her on a whole bunch of scheiße I could've back when it was more relevant -- like the fact that I know she told an elaborate lie about a friend being in from out of town the weekend before throwing her DH a $14,000 party, so I would do all the party planning legwork and she could cavort with her (blech!) lover while his wife & twins were in Seattle. I didn't want to escalate the fighting back then. But now I just feel like it'd be petty to bring it up now.

I hate that. There has to be a happy medium between being completely dismissive and refusing to engage in a fight, and having an all-out battle royale. Like, you have to make sure you say all the things you really need to say in a timely manner. Clearly, I never came anywhere near the sweet spot.

He feels I am plotting against him in my thoughts which makes me LOL most times. I think he is coming out of that mindset though since I always laugh when he mentions how I wanted to do something to either 1-embarrass him or 2-undermine him. I told him he thinks I'm way more complicated than I am and I laugh and act like Mr. Burns from the Simpson's and tell him all my evil schemes.

DH is totally the same way, only I don't handle his weird accusations with half as much humor as you do, Erin.

Speaking of puddle jumping, I dug up this old video of B & his little buddy (the nyah-nyah-er) at the Oakland Zoo on this rainy day when his mom & I literally had the whole place to ourselves. Seriously, we were allowed to enter and then they shut the front gate after only an hour of the zoo being open. It was awesome. Anyway, there's not that much action, but the kids were jumping in puddles, and you can see B's legs are all wet AND his pants are falling down. :laugh:

http://youtu.be/XmhN_OELTKA

Speaking of working from home, we've made more headway into the possibility of me going back to work on another project with the company that let me go back in July. There are some really positive things I'm hoping for, but will share the news with all of you once there's a real decision made, if one does get made.

Jen, is that seriously your budget for a console?!? :shocker: It's beautiful, but holy Minwax, Batman. At that level of cost, you might actually want to get something custom-made for you. I'm wondering if you could enlist the help of a local woodworker to copy/customize the design for a lower price. That's my frugal side talking.

Did I ever tell you girls how I have this weird love of soup bars? I go to where they have at least 6 different kinds of self-serve soups, and like to make my own concoctions out of them. Today it was mostly vegetable soup, but I threw a matzoh ball in it. Anyway, long story short, I literally ate about a quart of soup, AND drank a liter of water. That was almost 3 hours ago, and I haven't felt like using the restroom since. Am I some sort of camel?

demigraf

10-07-2011, 03:48 PM

Oh I forgot one more thing. This is totally silly, but Bridget, ever since you told that story about Kai whacking Mark on the foot with a wooden knife (at least that's how I understood it when I read it), I've started to imagine that's what he's in the middle of doing in your siggy pic. Like he's got the wooden knife over his head, and he's totally about to bring it down on M's foot.

Like I said, super silly. But now I can't seem to shake the imagery.

Bridget

10-07-2011, 03:49 PM

Oh my GOD Mylah!! I am laughing so hard right now! Kai keeps asking me what's so funny and I think I'm going to sort of tell him and show him the picture.
ETA I just told him and inserted an evil laugh. I didn't bring up the situation with Mark I just said one of my friends thinks it looks like he has a wacking stick and a sneaky little smile.

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 04:09 PM

:lol: You guys make me laugh!

AbbeysMom

10-07-2011, 04:28 PM

Jen, is that seriously your budget for a console?!? :shocker: It's beautiful, but holy Minwax, Batman. At that level of cost, you might actually want to get something custom-made for you. I'm wondering if you could enlist the help of a local woodworker to copy/customize the design for a lower price. That's my frugal side talking.

You're too cheap, lady*! $2100 for a piece of furniture that big is not much.

And some people would rather go to IKEA and save $1500 by buying a POS that we have to throw out 4 months later, only to end up attaching the flat screen to the wall directly. That would be me.

I think buying a piece of furniture you love and will keep forever is a whole lot better. :)

*Not in that way.

demigraf

10-07-2011, 04:50 PM

You're probably right, Molly. I'm pretty out of touch with what big-ticket things cost nowadays. Probably because practically all big-ticket items I own are secondhand. I should send you pics of the furniture Steve has made though. He made me a 101" sewing table in a mission style with black stain, kiln dried oak. It was bee-yu-tiful!

BTW, you totally warned me that you were a terrible driver when B& I went out to TX, but I thought you were alright. Obeyed the rules of the road and all that good stuff. LOL.

Bridge, I'm so glad you thought that was funny. :D

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 04:51 PM

Yeah I have been looking at custom but that is bringing me into the 4-5K range which is NOT what I want to spend since I still need to buy the TV.

I would prefer 2000-2500. And the local stores just don't have much in the style I want with the combo of display/hidden storage. But I would check again before buying online of course. Knowing us we will sit on this for at least a few months thinking about it....have to make sure that we really really really love it.
I still need to check out the unfinished furniture store too (but I would have to pay to have finished and probably delivered).

I like Ikea well enough but their style isn't really right for us or the house. And we do keep things forever. Right now we are using our Sauder one got 8.5 years ago....and the main reason for replacing would be that it is for old TVs and I want a bigger flat screen one that wouldn't fit at all.

Our bedroom stuff (dresser, armoire, two nightstands) was around 3300-3500 and it's beautiful solid wood made in WI.....and I still just LOVE it and we have it about 4 years. One of the reasons we built a house was because the ones for sale didn't have the right master for that furniture. LOL Doors or windows in the wrong places or just not enough space.

And yes Kai does look like he's about to whack something! :lol:

Gwenn

10-07-2011, 07:02 PM

Okay, here goes. My geeky pre-post confession is that I took notes on posts to respond to. Let's see if I manage to decipher my notes and respond in a way that relates to what was said, or if I give up and skip half of it.

L, your story about Baby S and the puddle is adorable and had me smiling. I wish I could have heard him laughing. And have I mentioned how adorable the nickname "Baby S" is to me? Can't explain - just love "hearing" you say that.

Temperature changes - this week's temperatures were 94 Monday, 89 Tuesday, 84 Wednesday, 68 Thursday, and 68 today. Forecast says 73 tomorrow and back up to 89 by Wednesday. My body doesn't know what to think, but I'm loving being able to wear some different clothes.

Bridget, that's great that your MIL praised your parenting. I'm glad you gave her a chance to revise her thought process in that way.

Antidepressants - ITA about overprescribing. I do wish people got counseling/coping strategies more often than meds. I remember my ex the author used to say that they made him less depressed, but he couldn't FEEL anything when he took them and he needed to feel emotions to write. I wonder if that's why (in my opinion) there aren't as many great musicians, writers, etc as there used to be? Everyone is on meds? Or maybe they got counseling and they just aren't depressed anymore. I swear you need to be depressed to create good art. Sorry, major tangent there. I've been watching X-factor and I keep asking DH, "Where is John Lennon?" Meaning this generation's version, obviously. DH says (which is true) that he wouldn't have been on X-factor anyway. But I just don't feel like I hear that level of creativity anywhere that you heard in the 60's and 70's. Or am I just an old fogey and don't appreciate what the kids are listening to these days? ;)

Even bigger tangent! Sorry.

Bridge, since I'm on the topic of my ex the author, having been in a long term relationship with an author and having hung out with his friends, she likely never did read your letter. I agree it was tacky of the publisher to basically make it an ad for the next book, but with the volume of mail someone as successful as the author of that series must be, particularly with books aimed at children, she would have so much mail that even to respond to a small percentage of it personally would leave her very little writing time. My author acquaintance that I knew from those days has this on his website:

I’d like to thank everyone who has been so kind to send me e-mail notes about my books. Getting feedback like that is wonderful, and I really appreciate the time you’ve taken to write me. Knowing that folks are enjoying my work is the sort of thing that keeps me going when the writing gets tough. My goal is to never let you, my readers, down.

It’s because of that goal, however, that I’m declaring a moratorium on answering individual e-mails. I have to choose between disappointing any individual letter writer by not answering a letter, or disappointing readers and editors (and the folks to whom I owe money, like the bank) by not getting my work done. While answering any individual letter might not take that much time all by itself, e-mail has been taking up a larger and larger portion of my time. While I love the feedback, the fact is that the sort of letters that urge me to continue writing are now soaking up the time that I use for writing.

In constructing my web page here I’ve really tried to put up all the things that most folks want when asked to do research via the Internet for school. I think this material should meet 99% of the needs for book reports and the like. I also have the sample interview and, if one wants to do the research, you can find other interviews or chat logs online. I do, from time to time, participate in the alt.fan.wedge newsgroup. The folks there are knowledgable about my Star Wars work, and some of my other books. Leaving questions there for me will work, with your answers probably coming faster from other folks on the group than they will from me.

I apologize for having to pull back from e-mail, but what I really love about writing is, well, writing cool stories. Forced to choose between that and answering e-mails, well there’s really not that much choice. If I change this policy, I’ll certainly post a note about it on the site.

Honestly, as cool as a personal response would be, I'd rather have another book to read any day. (And I'm super flattered, now that I've read that, that he took the time to give me some pointers on my writing when I asked via email - I can only assume he made an exception because we've met in person).

I also meant to respond about sitting - going to the PT has made me very aware of how much time I spend sitting and not moving around. I'm really very sedentary since I don't have children and now I don't get out to the playground with the kids anymore. The PT gave me a good workout today - it was for an hour with 10 minutes on the bike and all kinds of stretches and my muscles were so tight I was embarrassed, because not all of it is from the injury. I was tight beforehand. And I felt better afterwards, although possibly that's because I got to sleep in and didn't go to work until 10:30. But I'm telling myself once I'm released I should start working out. We'll see if I stick to it.

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 07:45 PM

That is so cute that you took notes to respond!

Ok gotta go have a brandy and celebrate with DH because BREWERS won!!!!!! First time they won a playoff series since the early 80's or something like that.

Gwenn

10-07-2011, 07:57 PM

I was really pulling for the D'backs but sounds like the Brewers really deserved it. I was honestly shocked the D'backs made it to the playoffs.

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 08:40 PM

You're probably right, Molly. I'm pretty out of touch with what big-ticket things cost nowadays. Probably because practically all big-ticket items I own are secondhand. I should send you pics of the furniture Steve has made though. He made me a 101" sewing table in a mission style with black stain, kiln dried oak. It was bee-yu-tiful!
My issue with spending that sort of $$ is that I know I won't want it after 5 years or so. I get tired of furniture and except for 1 or 2 pieces that I have that I inherited from my grandparents, I don't intend on keeping anything. I don't worry about leaving anything to my kids either.

AbbeysMom

10-07-2011, 08:44 PM

Cosmosmom

10-07-2011, 09:02 PM

I was really pulling for the D'backs but sounds like the Brewers really deserved it. I was honestly shocked the D'backs made it to the playoffs.

That is kind of how we feel about the Brewers! Love them but generally playoffs are not in the cards for us.

I had my second date with DH at the old Miller park for a Brewer game and he said that maybe we should hold hands to not get separated in the crowd....it wasn't that crowded so I think that was just an excuse. :winks:

3andMe

10-07-2011, 09:24 PM

Lydia, Is that really your first fwp? That makes me feel strangely shallow, since my days are filled with FWP.

That was not my first first-world-problem, of course, but the first one that I actually posted that was a legitimate one from me and not one from the site I visit that posts humorous ones.

DH was teasing me last night, actually, about my habit of going all the way around the bed to make sure the covers are exactly even before getting into it. He said it was a little obsessive. I told him that was not the case, but that I wanted to make sure I was being as fair as possible to him by not taking more than my share of covers, but still getting as much as I could because I get cold at night with little drafts of air that come in under the covers. He told me that if I removed a few pillows along the outside of the bed, the covers would stretch farther, and then laughed and said I should post that as a first-world problem: "My mound of pillows is so high, my covers don't reach all the way across it."

My official (not second-hand) SECOND posted first-world problem due to this crazy weather. I bought all these groceries while the weather was cold and rainy, and now I have comfort food planned for the upcoming hot and sunny week. I have stews and soups and tonight I made chicken and mushrooms in a cream sauce over rice. Blargh! I hate that.

Mandy, I call Baby S. by that name in posts because I have started being a lot more cautious about using my kids' names on APA, since when I google them so many APA posts turn up. Now that they're older, I have started realizing that someday their friends will be googling them, and my kids may not want their classmates to be able to locate them here and hear their cute and not-so-cute stories or their potty-training adventures or what-have-you. I have a longterm goal of going back and editing my posts to all "DD" and "DS" and turning my blog private. It's different if kids have common names, but mine are not common, and especially if you combine them they are very unique. But I like it, and I have started thinking of him as Baby S. in my thoughts sometimes, too.

I consider myself a pretty good driver. I was talking to my hairdresser about driving my minivan on 4WD only roads on our camping trip in the Mendocino Forest, and how I was getting annoyed at the variable traction control because it was removing power from the wheels that were losing traction, and all the wheels were losing traction because I was going uphill on a steep and bumpy dirt road with huge craters in it and then I kept losing power right when I needed it the most. I also have a lot of driving experience - on the snow, with 4Wd, with rear-wheel drive, off-road, on motorcycles, on various other vehicles, etc. I still hate parking my minivan in The City, but I'm comfortable driving really fast. I've gone up to 150 mph on my bike.

I see people do bad parking jobs all over the place, but I never feel actually inclined to be angry at them. A lot of the time, it's like Bridget's situation, in that you're pushed into parking over the line because another car did it, and then that car left and then you look like the jerk. Or maybe they weren't paying attention, but I try not to judge, because I would rather use the energy to find another parking spot instead of getting angry (yes, I deliberately tell myself this in order to stay peaceful - it's part of my self-improvement campaign).

Speaking of self-improvement, I try to evaluate myself and my responses to life, others, and see what I can try to improve on a regular basis, both to improve my well-being and to improve how I get along in life and with others, like social skills. Like at work, a long time ago I made a conscious effort to try to be a more go-with-the-flow type of person, even though I'm not really like that by nature. If things were being stressful around me, I was going to try to respond calmly. I treated it like a homework assignment or a task, because I'm good at that. I did the same thing with bad drivers. Eventually, I got so ingrained into the pattern of "look at that jerk who just cut me off--wait a minute, chill out, take five deep breaths first and remember that you are still going to get there" that I started seeing a bad driver and then going into relaxation mode without having to talk to myself. It's pretty much only with unrehearsed situations now that I get all angsty.

Anyway, where I was going with this (it was pertinent) was that I try really hard to be honest with myself, to seek feedback from those around me, and to do hard work to better myself on a regular basis - not just for me, but for those around me, and for my happiness, if I'm not happy. However, on a few rare occasions, I will say that it feels like there is just a on/off switch in my brain and everything goes dark and there is no joy at all. I have been able to regain the happiness on a few occasions by determinedly practicing positive thinking, but it seems very obvious that there is just a complete chemical change. It's like my brain needs a reboot. For me, therapy seems like it would be a waste of time, and on those few occasions I have been able to reboot, so to speak, with just a few months of antidepressants and then wean off of them. It's not an instant change, but it makes a difference and gets me back to baseline. I've done that about 3 times in my life.

Oh, oh, oh! I've got a job interview next Friday! I've been at my current job for 13 years. I'm a little nervous.

missychrissy

10-07-2011, 09:32 PM

L, I like how you say you're always working on yourself. I probably have much further to go than you do, but I have always had that attitude as well. I figure that no one is perfect and we all have room for improvement. The whole "go with the flow" thing is something else I really strive for too.

I don't really get as witchy as I described when I'm driving...it's more that I'm actually assertive when I need to be and I don't get anxious about that. If I need to change lanes, I will. But if someone cuts me off, I don't let that make me angry. I can't remember ever feeling "road rage" myself. In driving, I'm really good at going with the flow.

I think the flip side is I may have gotten too lax with my older teens. Jesi has gotten in more trouble at school and I'm wondering if I haven't been severe enough with her. I know when I was her age I was doing all that plus also pregnant with Bobbie and living on my own in an apartment with Rich, so in comparison with that I consider her a 'good girl'. But is she? Should I be stricter? I really don't know the answer to that.