Secular Confessions

[missychrissy]

This really bugs me. I mean it was his friend who stayed...so HE should have been the one to give up extra food and scrounged in the kitchen after his friend left. Or HE should have said, well friend it's been nice hanging but gotta go have dinner with the family. See ya later.
I too agree. My brother come over sorta unexpectedly and I had already started dinner. It happened to be a dinner that was already going to be 'just enough' for us. I didn't make a big deal about it, but I chose to eat something else and pretended for my brother's sake that I preferred the alternative anyway. I didn't mind him having dinner with us, and he always helps Rich out with stuff when he's here, so the least I can do is feed him. But because he is my brother, I felt it should be me that went without. It's just manners.

[missychrissy]

On another topic, let me vent a little. It's going to sound so petty but I just want to say it, whine a bit, get it out and get over it.

Last week my brother texted me while I was at work on Mom's behalf (she doesn't like to call me at work if it's not an emergency). She was asking if she could get $25 early because she wanted to buy a pizza and was out of cash. I texted back "Yeah, sure" and I totally forgot about it. Rich got the money out of the bank and gave it to her when he picked Conner up.

So when I paid her on Saturday, it was the full amount. She didn't say anything. Just took the money. It irritates me because she knows I'm paying for two places right now and money is so tight for us. I know it always is for her, but god. Rich & I are both working full time and we don't have spare money for a pizza for ourselves, much less to buy for someone else.

She has the mentality of a teenager, I swear to God. Sometimes it's more than I can stand.

[Ky'sMom]

Don't have a lot of time, but just wanted to know about your DBF Bridget, if he wants things so clean and he is a much better organizer than you are, why doesn't he come up with a plan to organize the house and be the primary cleaner-upper (made up word there!).

I told my DH this and he shut up about cleaning up and organization because he is too lazy to do all that. I don't get complaints about it anymore so I am happy.

Erin

[3andMe]

Hmm, from the past couple of days, Katycat, have you ever given JoJo benadryl? It's a mild antinausea effect and might help (if it works the normal way) as a calming and drowsy med for car trips. For some children it can cause a hyper effect though. You could also try the sea bands wrist bracelets if it's carsickness causing the panic, or stopping at playgrounds, or playing CDs with stories for distraction, or look up road trip games.

Mylah, I go through periods (no pun intended) of being hungrier than normal, but I don't associate it with hormonal surges. I just get into habits and those habits or urges get more and more habituated and then they're really hard to stop. Like recently I've been hungrier than normal, and I've given into the snack cravings more than usual, and the more I indulge myself the more I get in the habit of thinking about food and snacking and different kinds of good food and what could I be eating right now and all of a sudden I'm eating a ton. I need to stop. Now that I'm feeling all depressed and emotional I'll probably want to eat more, though.

[Gwenn]

Lydia, I am so sorry to hear of your communication issues with your DH. It hurts to think that you have to hold back from sharing your thoughts and feelings with him. In my experience that is what keeps me most closely connected to the people I care about and without that, it would be very difficult. The greenhouse thing would really bother me.

DH and I had an argument tonight and I'm just left wondering what is happening. I think DH has a lot to cope with at the moment. To begin with, I mentioned a while ago that he had a job interview. They called him for a second interview and then wanted to do a polygraph test, which he called to schedule. Before he did the test, the company called to say they had lost two big accounts and couldn't afford to hire someone for this position, so they weren't hiring anyone at all. Then, DH made a connection with someone he knows who is in the process of starting up a new branch within his company and wants DH to build the business up for him - generate leads, oversee operations, everything. It's a great opportunity in theory but at the moment he would be commission only. I think DH is a little torn about it, wanting to get in on the ground floor but a little concerned that he will put in a lot of hard work for nothing.

In addition, which I don't think I've mentioned, he broke his foot a couple of weeks ago (hurt it initially when working out, then actually broke it by tripping over an extension cord and landing on the injured part of his foot). He's been clumping around in a walking cast but DH being DH, he only wears it part of the time. I think he was on his foot too much when we went to the mall the other day and he was complaining about it a little bit.

Whatever is going on, he snapped at me 3 times today for seemingly ridiculous reasons. First, because he was telling me something about this potential job, and I made a comment that he didn't like, and he snapped that he didn't want to talk to me about it. Then, this evening (and I could tell he was in pain) he made some dessert and I was in the bathroom when he finished and he started yelling at me about being in the bathroom. Then after that, he turned on the TV and went into the other room and started reading something to me off his computer, which I couldn't hear over the television. I really hate when he does that. So I called out to him that I couldn't hear him and he got really angry about it. I really don't know what the problem was, honestly I think he's just in a lot of pain and worried, but he came out and said later that I sounded really mean and angry when I shouted to him and he didn't like when I used that tone of voice. I genuinely don't know where he was coming from, but I can't help but wonder if there was something in my tone or if he's just turning the whole thing back on me.

None of this is that big a deal in the greater scheme of things, but it's really got me questioning both of us and how we communicate, too.

[Bridget]

:grouphug: So sorry to everyone who is having their feelings hurt by the men in our lives.
Lydia, I would be really upset about the lack of communication too. In fact, I do always get really upset when dbf makes decisions like that without talking to me.

Gwenn, I wonder if your dh is just stressed about other things and taking it out on you? Not that that makes it okay at all. And for the record, it is one of my hugest pet peeves when dbf talks to me from the living room while I am in the kitchen cooking with the oven fan on. I have told him several times that I cannot hear him in that situation but he continues to do it and then, like your dh, acts like I'm the one being rude when I say, "I can't hear you!"

Dbf got rear ended by our elderly neighbor yesterday right on our street. She shouldn't have been driving any longer. In fact, just last week she told dbf she has a degenerative eye disease and was surprised they still let her drive. :eyebrow: It made me so nervous to see her behind the wheel of the car.
Anyway, now dbf is complaining of neck and shoulder pain. I so hope he just takes himself to the dr to see what's up instead of complaining about it for weeks on end.

[missychrissy]

I've always been pretty adamant about not dissing my dh, and overall I consider him my best friend. I feel very confused and alone right now. :ohno:

:hugs:

I'd be furious about the greenhouse. Especially how he said he'd rather do it than discuss it with you. I would feel betrayed.

For the longest time I wouldn't mention things that were going on between me and Rich online either, but then the pressure got to be too much for me to keep to myself, and I felt a lot like you described-alone and confused. I think it helps to let it out. Even if we can't say 'do this and everything will be perfect' at least you're not keeping it all bottled up inside.

And I think we're all wise enough to know that these things happen, even in the best of relationships.


None of this is that big a deal in the greater scheme of things, but it's really got me questioning both of us and how we communicate, too.
:hugs: to you too. :( I suspect that Bridget is right, he's taking his stress out on your because you're there, and you're safe. I'm sure he doesn't mean it. I hope things can smooth out soon.

[missychrissy]

Eek Bridget, do you think she'll lose her license now?

[The10Eels]

I confess I am highly disappointed with sesame street.

I haven't watched it in years, and watched it with audri this morning. During "abbys flying fairy school" they were talking about counting sheep when you have trouble falling asleep. So the girl says a spell about wanting fairy sheep and the sheep that appear have very "gay" voices, and talk about fashion shows, etc.

I'm seriously thinking about writing a letter.

[daylilies]

That's very strange about Sesame Street, Ash. They're usually pretty careful (from what I remember and what I've seen in recent years, anyway)

What is it with guys talking to us from different rooms? DH and Josh both do it and it drives me crazy.

About the greenhouse--it made me think of that saying, it's easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

Today was Josh's preschool field day. It was super cute. I'll post some pictures eventually.

[missychrissy]

About the greenhouse--it made me think of that saying, it's easier to beg for forgiveness than ask for permission.

Today was Josh's preschool field day. It was super cute. I'll post some pictures eventually.
That's true about begging forgiveness, but I think when it comes to your spouse a certain amount of respect is warranted.

I can't wait to see the pics!

[daylilies]

Oh yeah, I didn't mean to imply that that makes it right!

[missychrissy]

I know you didn't. I was agreeing with you.

[daylilies]

:) better be :P

[missychrissy]

:lol:

Can I just say, I think that Cornell could do a better job of keeping the bathrooms and their placement next to each other more consistent. I'm on the 3rd floor and up here the women's bathroom is on the right. I just popped in to a restroom on the 2nd floor and realized a little late that it's the reverse down there. :shame:

[daylilies]

Oh yes I'm all for bathroom consistency.

[missychrissy]

Oh yes I'm all for bathroom consistency.

:D

[Gwenn]

:lol:

Can I just say, I think that Cornell could do a better job of keeping the bathrooms and their placement next to each other more consistent. I'm on the 3rd floor and up here the women's bathroom is on the right. I just popped in to a restroom on the 2nd floor and realized a little late that it's the reverse down there. :shame:

Whoops!

Eek about your neighbor, Bridget. Seems like you should see what can be done about her license.

[Bridget]

The officer that handled the accident, according to dbf was appalled that she was still driving. I guess he was kind of scolding her which actually made me feel really sad for her and I explained to dbf that people in her position often don't realize what a danger they are. I know in my mom's last few months she really was angry that my dad would not let her drive. She was taking heavy narcotics but still felt like she would drive just fine. And my mom was a very responsible and considerate person. She just wasn't thinking clearly.
My neighbor actually totaled her car so i'm quite sure her driving days are over. They think that she may have stepped on the gas instead of the break because she actually seemed to speed up as she got closer. Dbf was pulled off the road and the guy whose house he was parked in front of was leaning in the window talking when he saw her coming and jumped out of the way. They said that after she slammed into the truck she backed away and hit a tree behind her. :ohno: I am just so glad it wasn't worse for her or anyone else.
Dbf has just returned from the dr and they took xrays and told him he has arthritis on the whole left side of his body. I know nothing about arthritis but the dr he saw said it could be the cause of his headaches, numbing in his hands, etc. I would love to see an end to his aches and pains because they make him very grouchy.

Dbf did tell her that if she needed to go to the grocery store once a week or had an appt, to feel free to knock on our door and he would give her a ride.

[missychrissy]

Dbf did tell her that if she needed to go to the grocery store once a week or had an appt, to feel free to knock on our door and he would give her a ride.
That was very sweet of him to offer.

[Bridget]

That was very sweet of him to offer.
Wasn't it though? I gave him a hard time and asked him if he was trying to get in the will. Totally kidding! That is completely my borderline inappropriate humor in real life. I keep it in check online because it's too hard to convey the humor. I would just seem evil. :P
We had a good laugh about it.

[Gwenn]

Made me laugh! And that was sweet of him.

[missychrissy]

I think that's hilarious, and absolutely I something I would say to Rich if I were clever enough to think of it in time!! With me, it's hit or miss whether I can be witty on the spot or not.

[Ky'sMom]

Glad no one was hurt in the accident! My great grandma go in a minor fender bender when she was about 82 and it scared her so much she never drove again. All she did was hit a curb and she did the same thing they think happened with your neighbor, hit the gas instead of the breaks.

My DH and I have way too many issues to mention on this forum and most of them are very appalling and some of the things he says are truly disgusting IMO and at times we dont' communicate very well. But on the whole I also consider him my best friend (he told me a few weeks ago though that he doesn't see me as his friend, which is one of the appalling things that he says, may not be much to some, but I was very hurt about that. We have been together for 12 years and been through a lot together and that made me have a bad 30 minutes, that comment. He thought about it later and apologized and tried to explain it away, but I am one of those people who don't believe explanations and will take what is said first, no kidding, no other comments.

Anyway, I was coming on here to gripe about him. DH is such a big baby whenever he is sick or has an ache or pain and he just cannot do anything and it really gets on my nerves. Maybe this is a man thing or something I don't know. But he stubbed his toe really bad on Monday night and was going on and on about how painful it was. I told him if it was broken they would just tape it and give him a pain pill. I also told him if he wanted, I would take him to the urgent care center since it was a holiday and I didn't want to pay an ER co-pay for a freaking stubbed toe. He said never mind and ended up going to the doctor on Tuesday and there wasn't anything wrong with his toe, just a stub (like I told him!) they didn't even give him any pain pills even though he was talking about how excrutiating it was. Fast forward to yesterday, he took Ky to the park to play basketball. While running, he heard his knee pop. He couldn't put weight on it and was whining all night, couldn't get up or make his plate or do anything but sit and watch the NBA finals. I ask him again if he wants to go to urgent care, they are open until 9pm, it was only 7pm when he came home that was enough time to take him there and get out and back home by 8 since our urgent care center is really quick and efficient and only $25. Again he doesn't want to go. This morning he is whining and moaning, says he needs my help to get in the shower, blames me for him recently giving away a cane he found 5 years ago because I complained about him having too much junk in the house (he does) :eyeroll:. He would have kept it if I hadn't been complaining and would have a cane to use (never mind the huge ugly wooden "table" it's not really a table, it is one of those round wooden spools that hold cables and wires at construction sight, so it is garbage and I have been complaining about it for 8 years that takes up way more room than a freaking cane, that he also found in the garbage and brought home, in the closet, so I told him this and shut him up about that). He then wanted me to take some PTO hours off of work so that I could take him to the doctor's. He gets upset because I have a business meeting this morning and cannot take off any hours, plus I have limited PTO hours and we are planning a few trips and I want to make sure I have enough to go on the trips and still take time off for the holidays and his brother's wedding in November. I truly don't understand why he just didn't let me take him to the urgent care center when we weren't busy. Also he is wasting our money going to the doctor for bruises and sprains. He called and told me that there was nothing wrong with his knee, just like I told him there wasn't. He is now going to have them give him an MRI to check it further because the pain is just too much. It is laughable and ridiculous at the same time.

Okay, had to get that kind of funny but true to my life events out! Sorry so long!!

Erin

[Bridget]

Oh my, Erin. I am annoyed at your dh reading that. And it sounds sooo much like dbf. Even after this accident he is walking all stiff like and not turning his head but turning his whole body. Even this morning he made me my morning smoothie and actually winced when he handed it to me. :eyeroll:
I don't know if it's all men but I do think women are biologically wired to handle pain better since we have the babies. I mean, does anything hurt more than that?

[daylilies]

Speaking of SO's in pain, my husband just called me to ask me to look up his Dr.'s number online. He had a knee injury as a kid that was never properly treated and he still has problems because of it. You know it's bad when he bothers to call the doctor. Usually he just pushes on through. I'm the one who's the wimp when it comes to pain, which is interesting considering how many surgeries and recoveries I had to put up with as a kid and I wasn't a big complainer back then.

[Smplyme89]

You know... I stalk you ladies all the time, would you mind if I bugged ya'll every once in a while :shame:

[Bridget]

You know... I stalk you ladies all the time, would you mind if I bugged ya'll every once in a while :shame:
Please do! The more the merrier.

[Cosmosmom]

:hi: Hi!

And big :hugs: to all of you having DH issues. I almost feel guilty that I don't have more of those. I mean I could complain about lack of passion...probably been 4-6 weeks since the last time...but honestly after more than 4 yrs trying to get pg, I'm good going without. I get lots of hugs, kisses and snuggles so long as that is there, ok by me. The working opposite shifts puts a crimp in things....and than I was out of town one weekend, had company the next two weekends so not so much opportunity there anyway.
I did really worry a lot that DH was going to bail on the adoption. Giving up the money is hard for him and I know being a dad while something he wants, scares the crap out of him. And I really know he didn't want to go through the process of adoption where you do in a way feel like you are buying a kid and having to sell how awesome you are. But since March/April when we said ok we are doing this for real and used the PTO to sit in the classes for 4 days....and he's barely said a peep about my scrapbook shopping spree (maybe he doesn't quite realize how much I have spent since I have spread it out a bit? :winks: ).....well I have stopped questioning if he was going to pull out of this on me. I did tell him all along that if he really didn't want to, just say so and I would drop it. Having us be solid was the most important thing.

[Gwenn]

I'm the one that is a wimp about pain in our family. I cannot tell you how many injuries DH has had since I've known him, including multiple fractured ribs, hands, feet,etc. Sometimes it's from martial arts or working out, and sometimes just stupid stuff. He has a very high pain threshold and pushes himself to the limit. Once he waited a few days to go to the ER for a broken bone and the doctor there told him to his face that he must have been doing drugs because nobody could possibly stand the pain without taking something. DH absolutely does not do drugs and he was so offended he didn't follow up with treatment. He doesn't whine about pain, but I can tell when it is really bad because he gets cranky. He is coming to terms with the fact that he is getting older, now, and his body can't heal the way it did when he was younger. I really do worry that he will push himself too far.

TTC with a broken foot hasn't been much fun, either. Just had to whine for a moment there.

Welcome, Simplyme!

[Ky'sMom]

I also have a high threshold for pain. I don't complain about being in pain either, like moaning or whining or anything like that. I will just hold out in my room until the pain subsides and if I need to do something I will do it through the pain.

I wanted to laugh in his face when he told me that he couldn't drive because he was in excrutiating pain. He was a butthead after the birth of both of our children and I had 2 c-sections, he did not help me at all with baby care or cleaning up or driving. I was in excrutiating pain at the time and had to deal with taking care of the children and BFing and cooking and picking up Ky from school. Not to mention the fact I had a horrible infection after Elle's birth and had to go on some really strong antibiotic for a few weeks and I was dizzy and felt like I was going to die. He thought I was lying about how much pain I was in because I don't grimace or show it on my face or make big complaints about it. I'll just say it's there. He does all the theatrics.

I am nice though and can understand that he is in some pain so I try to be understanding, but every time I've been in excrutiating pain, I go out of my way to not be a bother to him or blame him for my predicament. And that is what bothers me the most as I am beyond helpful even though I want to roll my eyes out of my head at times at his comments.

He has been better this evening though and got crutches. He did have them schedule him an MRI to see if he tore his miniscus but the doctor didn't think that was what happened. Luckily we don't have to pay for any procedures like MRIs or other scans out of pocket, it will be totally covered so I'm happy we have great insurance for DH.

Also I am not very trusting of doctors and think they are full of crap a lot of times and limit myself to visiting them to once or twice a year. They are always pushing pills and guessing and though I do feel like there is a need for medical care and perscriptions, I just think pills in general are prescribed way too much and that most health concerns (especially stubbed toes) do not require a doctor's visit. Though this has come back to bite me as well since if I had gone to the doctor sooner with my infection, it probably wouldn't have been so bad. They were talking of admitting me to the hospital then.

I like a dentist more than an MD since at least I have extra shiny teeth after seeing them.

Oh, and welcome to the group Simply!!

Erin

[daylilies]

We just got back from a party we were invited to with basically all the moms and kids around Josh's age from church. It was very nice and fun for Josh but being around a lot of well adjusted, smart, well-informed moms who mostly also have careers makes me feel like a total loser. :(
I know that lurking behind those perfect exteriors they may have screwed up lives just like me but I still felt really out of place and I'm bummed out now because of it.

[Bridget]

Erin I am so in your boat on the opinion of dr's being full of it. I will always try to heal myself before I even consider any type of medication. I use garlic for everything lol. I cannot remember the last time I went to the dr for an illness. Several years at least. I think it was for a spider bite when I lived in Hawaii that was eating away at my skin.

Kate, you are smart and fabulous and your career is raising that young man. Don't sell yourself short, Mama, Those women got nothing on you.

[daylilies]

I didn't mean that not having a career outside the house makes me a loser. It's just...I feel so lost, and it worries me that I still feel this way at this age when women my age or younger seem completely content with where they are, whether it's staying at home or working or doing both. I'm not happy. Being a stay at home mom is driving me insane but I don't know what else I'd be happy doing.

[Bridget]

So just to show you ladies the other side of the picture, here's a concrete example of the way I am that drives dbf mad. I guess I can see how my behavior might be annoying but at least it's not outright rude and hurtful. To me that is the difference.
He cooked fish for dinner tonight. I made the salad and kept the kids busy while he cooked. We all enjoyed the meal and then he asked me if I was going to clean the kitchen since he already cleaned it twice today. He cleaned it this morning and then this afternoon loaded all the daycare dishes. I was holding Sawyer at the time so I said if he could keep Sawyer entertained I'd be more than happy to clean the kitchen. He rolled his eyes and walked to the living room.
So I had Sawyer in a good, playful mood and handed him off to dbf. I emptied the dishwasher and then remembered that our butterflies down in the daycare had started to emerge from their cocoons earlier so I wanted to bring them up to the living room so the kids wouldn't miss it. I came up and we saw 2 of them had emerged. I then walked to the flower garden with Savana to get some petals and her and Kai and I dropped water on them and put them in the butterfly cage.

Then Sawyer got fussy.
And the kitchen was still messy.
So I took Sawyer and he went and cleaned the kitchen.
So that is what he's dealing with over here. :winks:

[Smplyme89]

Thanks for the welcome ladies :hi:

[The10Eels]

I confess I am now happily unemployed!!! WOOT!

[Gwenn]

I confess I am now happily unemployed!!! WOOT!

Woohoo!

Bridget, I could so see myself doing something similar.

[daylilies]

LOL Bridget.
I drive DH crazy in just as many ways, if not more, as he drives me crazy. I'm "not domesticated", as he likes to put it. I try not to think about that phrase too hard, like what am I, a dog? But I'm horrible at cleaning or picking up clutter, I don't know how to garden to save my life-I tried to weed today and I gave up because I couldn't tell the difference between the weeds and the plants anymore :rolleyes: I'm not a natural at anything but cooking, really. That saves me. :D
Woo Ash! Congrats!

[missychrissy]

Being a stay at home mom is driving me insane but I don't know what else I'd be happy doing.

Kate, I honestly think that you just need to get out and do something...anything! I know for me when I was home all day nothing sounded 'appetizing' when I thought of various careers. It was like I was stuck in a rut, but I couldn't visualize my way out of it. I started as a cashier, went to data entry, then to admin assist. I was laid off from there and that's when I went to school for what I do now.

I know I 'belong' in the computer field, but I'm not sure what direction to go in. I'd like more learning opportunities so I can 'taste' some things. I have a feeling networking is really my thing, but I don't get to do it enough to really know if I'd be good at it. So I just stay put and feel unsatisfied in my job.


So just to show you ladies the other side of the picture, here's a concrete example of the way I am that drives dbf mad. I guess I can see how my behavior might be annoying but at least it's not outright rude and hurtful. To me that is the difference.
He cooked fish for dinner tonight. I made the salad and kept the kids busy while he cooked. We all enjoyed the meal and then he asked me if I was going to clean the kitchen since he already cleaned it twice today. He cleaned it this morning and then this afternoon loaded all the daycare dishes. I was holding Sawyer at the time so I said if he could keep Sawyer entertained I'd be more than happy to clean the kitchen. He rolled his eyes and walked to the living room.
So I had Sawyer in a good, playful mood and handed him off to dbf. I emptied the dishwasher and then remembered that our butterflies down in the daycare had started to emerge from their cocoons earlier so I wanted to bring them up to the living room so the kids wouldn't miss it. I came up and we saw 2 of them had emerged. I then walked to the flower garden with Savana to get some petals and her and Kai and I dropped water on them and put them in the butterfly cage.

Then Sawyer got fussy.
And the kitchen was still messy.
So I took Sawyer and he went and cleaned the kitchen.
So that is what he's dealing with over here. :winks:

I dunno Bridget, it's really hard for me to feel sorry for your dbf, although I did try. I couldn't help but feel like he should have been able to deal with Sawyer without you. Then you'd have been free to finish the kitchen.


I confess I am now happily unemployed!!! WOOT!

:hooray: Happy Day!!!!

Tonight was Bobbie's art show at school. I feel terrible because I had to miss it. We have so much going on this weekend, I decided to do my grocery shopping tonight instead of Saturday. I did go in before it started and saw her exhibit. It was quite something and she won a lot of awards for it.

The neighbor guy finally called me about the pond flowing in our yard. He said he hasn't been up there to see what's going on and wanted to meet us there one evening this coming week to have a gander and talk about things. He also said that we have major drainage issues that need to be dug up and that will cost a lot of money. :indifferent: I don't know for sure what he was getting at. I guess I'll find out next week.

[Gwenn]

Chrissy, I hope he isn't going to try to convince you to shoulder some of the cost for his issue. I'd be a little skeptical.

Oh, and I saw the art show pic on fb. Impressive!

[missychrissy]

That's how I took it too Mandy, that he was insinuating we'd have to pay.

[daylilies]

Ugh...sorry about the neighbor issues Chrissy.
I know...I need to do something! Maybe even just get a job as a cashier at Target or something (hmm...do I get a discount for that?) although at the whopping age of 32, I have never had a cashier job...that may penalize me!
Gosh I wonder if I could get like a teacher's assistant job or a summer camp counselor job without having much experience in that area. Something I can do that I can take Josh with me, because if I have to pay for day care while I'm working, that doesn't really make it worth it. And I really don't want to work nights. Hmm...maybe I can work the day care room at my gym or something.

[daylilies]

Oh and I saw Bobbie's art on FB too! It seemed very sophisticated for her age! Good for her.

[missychrissy]

Ugh...sorry about the neighbor issues Chrissy.
I know...I need to do something! Maybe even just get a job as a cashier at Target or something (hmm...do I get a discount for that?) although at the whopping age of 32, I have never had a cashier job...that may penalize me!
Gosh I wonder if I could get like a teacher's assistant job or a summer camp counselor job without having much experience in that area. Something I can do that I can take Josh with me, because if I have to pay for day care while I'm working, that doesn't really make it worth it. And I really don't want to work nights. Hmm...maybe I can work the day care room at my gym or something.

Now you're thinking!!

My aunt got into teaching head start because her twins were in it and she participated a lot. A teacher aide position became available, and she got that. Through the years she continued on her education till she became the head teacher. It just sorta happened, but she loved it.


Oh and I saw Bobbie's art on FB too! It seemed very sophisticated for her age! Good for her.

Thanks! I wish I could have gotten close-ups of the things she had on the table and dangling down from the ceiling. She had other, smaller paintings (well, one was an 8x10) and she had a series of black and white photos that she took and developed herself. She's so happy tonight. It could make me cry because she never gets what you would call giddy...but she nearly is tonight. Art is really her element.

[The10Eels]

Aww yay Bobbie! I am off to look at the pics on FB

[The10Eels]

So you remember my friend who was getting induced the day after her due date??

They went in on the first, and the hospital had too many people go into labor, so there wasn't a room for them. They came back the next day, and weren't admitted until late in the night. They started the induction yesterday morning, and baby was born by "emergency" c-section at 9:11 pm. 8 lb 13 oz, 21.5 inches long!

[girlwonder]

But wait, Ash - wasn't she only 39 weeks? :crazy:

Thanks, Lydia for the tip about Benadryl. I hadn't given it to her before a couple of nights ago when I gave it to her for allergies. I am so weird that I kept worrying because the bottle says not for under age 4, but I found dosage online in several places for under 4. Anyway, I will definitely try it for the next long drive - anything is better than vomit-ville.

I just had a crazy experience today - went to Marshall's for a couple of things and saw they had bathing suits. I have a terrible time with bathing suits because my boobs are too big for most suits and they come squishing out the sides or waaaaaaay too much cleavage for my modesty. So I tried some on just in case and every one I put on fit me perfectly and was really flattering! I ended up getting three swimsuits because if I find ONE that fits I have to buy it, now I found THREE that fit all at the same time. And the three combined cost me less than the one from the specialty bra store that I got last year that doesn't fit all that well at all. I feel super lucky! Maybe I should go to Vegas today!!!

[girlwonder]

I'm sorry for everyone having dh troubles. I have a lot of the same issues with yelling from the other room, or feeling like I am interrupting or nagging. I hope everyone is doing better

[missychrissy]

So you remember my friend who was getting induced the day after her due date??

They went in on the first, and the hospital had too many people go into labor, so there wasn't a room for them. They came back the next day, and weren't admitted until late in the night. They started the induction yesterday morning, and baby was born by "emergency" c-section at 9:11 pm. 8 lb 13 oz, 21.5 inches long!

Congrats to them on the birth of their baby, but ugh about the c-section. You saw that one coming :(


But wait, Ash - wasn't she only 39 weeks? :crazy:

Thanks, Lydia for the tip about Benadryl. I hadn't given it to her before a couple of nights ago when I gave it to her for allergies. I am so weird that I kept worrying because the bottle says not for under age 4, but I found dosage online in several places for under 4. Anyway, I will definitely try it for the next long drive - anything is better than vomit-ville.

I just had a crazy experience today - went to Marshall's for a couple of things and saw they had bathing suits. I have a terrible time with bathing suits because my boobs are too big for most suits and they come squishing out the sides or waaaaaaay too much cleavage for my modesty. So I tried some on just in case and every one I put on fit me perfectly and was really flattering! I ended up getting three swimsuits because if I find ONE that fits I have to buy it, now I found THREE that fit all at the same time. And the three combined cost me less than the one from the specialty bra store that I got last year that doesn't fit all that well at all. I feel super lucky! Maybe I should go to Vegas today!!!

Woo hoo on the great fitting swimsuits!!

As for car sickness, Bobbie suffers from it as well and her dr told her to try to sit where she can always see the horizon-to look as far into the distance as possible. Is Jojo's seat low where she can't see well out the window? I wonder if pointing out distant hilltops or buildings would help?

We went to a graduation party for a girl that I used to babysit when I was 15. I can't believe she's all grown up now! It was so nice seeing all of them again. Too much time has gone by.

[Gwenn]

I suffer from motion sickness on long car trips, and it's true that the only thing that works is to look at the horizon. If I focus on anything inside the car, such as a book, I get sick. But I'm not sure how to explain that to a little one, though, since staring out the window is pretty boring when you're small...long car trips were so awful for me as a child. Listening to music helped. Reading in cars is absolutely the worst thing you can do, which I found out through painful experience since I was a bookworm. I used to read my library books on the way home and by the time we got home I always felt sick to my stomach.

Yay for new bathing suits that fit!

Ashley, that's crazy about your friend. But yay for the new baby.

Has anyone seen a post from Lydia? I don't recall seeing her post since the other night when she was concerned about her DH and I'm worried. Not physically, but emotionally. Thinking of you, Lydia. :hugs:

[The10Eels]

But wait, Ash - wasn't she only 39 weeks? :crazy:




This was another friend... I thought I had posted about this situation too... They posted that they would be inducing on June 1st if baby wasn't born by then, and due date was only May 31....

Anyways.. I got more of the story today, and yeah, I did see the c-section coming, but its not the story I expected.

Everything was going great, and she was dilated to a 7 when she decided that she wanted an epidural. Shortly after the epi was administered they declared that the cord was wrapped around baby's neck, and baby was in distress, so they did the section.


Gotta give some props to my friend though. The momma was really set on breastfeeding, and while she was in recovery the nurses tried to give baby a bottle, and my friend stood up to them and said no. :wub:

[The10Eels]

I also confess..

http://americanpregnancy.org/forums/showthread.php?p=1058263025#post1058263025

[missychrissy]

Ouch! I've had the tb test done, but I don't remember what they told me about it. Have you had yours read yet? Did they say anything about it?

[3andMe]

Has anyone seen a post from Lydia? I don't recall seeing her post since the other night. Thinking of you, Lydia. :hugs:

Oh, I'm here. Thank you for thinking of me. Dh is out of town, so I've been extra busy trying to hold down the fort. He's gone for two out of the next three weeks. And then tonight I had a small dinner party and tomorrow I'm cooking all the food for my mom's birthday brunch, and so every single bit of down time I've had has been spent in food prep and trying to keep the children from killing each other or sending me to the loony bin. I have pie crusts cooling in the kitchen right now for my mom's favorite, strawberry pie.

Claire has been having a terrible day, starting right from the get-go this morning, bursting into tears and flinging herself down on the floor first thing with "My toothpaste doesn't taste good! Wah wah wah!" and it didn't get any better.

[Gwenn]

You're right, no point in rejecting him when he's trying to meet you halfway. But I still hope he can find some way to communicate better with you. My father was like that to a certain extent and my mother had to sit him down at one point and let him know the effect it had on her. To both their credits, it worked and they communicate very well now.

Good luck with all your food prep!

[The10Eels]

Ouch! I've had the tb test done, but I don't remember what they told me about it. Have you had yours read yet? Did they say anything about it?



I had it read while I was there thursday. It was negative.

[missychrissy]

You're right, no point in rejecting him when he's trying to meet you halfway. But I still hope he can find some way to communicate better with you. My father was like that to a certain extent and my mother had to sit him down at one point and let him know the effect it had on her. To both their credits, it worked and they communicate very well now.

Good luck with all your food prep!
This sounds like a good idea.

You must have much better self esteem than I do because I wouldn't be able to handle it if I couldn't just pop out with whatever thought was in my head the moment I thought it. With Rich that is. He's not perfect and certainly has his faults, but man do I need someone I can talk to on a whim and at length. I'd be crushed if he put me off or made me feel like what I had to say wasn't of utmost importance to him. I think I better hug him for that.

[Bridget]

Wow, Lydia. I'm impressed that you can get so much done alone with the 3 children. I always feel like I'm running around like a chicken with her head cut off.
I wish things were better in your communications with dh. I don't like that he tells you to gather your thoughts and say what you have to say in as few words possible. That feels disprespectful to me. I'd be inclined to clam up and say nothing.
I hope the brunch goes well.

I have been getting really bad headaches that make me not even be able to see straight. I need to figure out why and fix it. It's just so hard to know.

[missychrissy]

:( Could they simply be tension headaches? I don't mean to minimize them, but I know when I get stressed about something it sometimes happens to me.

[3andMe]

I think I better hug him for that.

That is one of the great things about APA. You get really personal glimpses, sometimes, into other people's lives, and you can hopefully value and develop more insight into yours. Not you Chrissy specifically, but you in general. I know I have learned a lot from things other people have posted, both little and big.

[Bridget]

I guess they could be. It's just that I've never had stress take that form. I feel like it's a combo of being out of shape, weak core, posture needs improvement, uncomfortable sleep position.
I don't know.

[3andMe]

Bridget, have you been on any medications? Ibuprofen? Given up caffeine? Changed hormones/started birth control? If no, I would see a doctor.

ETA And I know you don't like doctors too much, so I say this while assuming you're looking for other causes first.

[Bridget]

No, Lydia. Nothing. No hormonal bc, still drinking coffee.

[3andMe]

Then I would suggest a doctor. Sorry.

ETA: I did drop the twins off at my mom's for two hours today and cooked like a fiend, lest you feel like I was a total Wonderwoman. I made a salad, baked ziti, and a potato and sausage casserole in that time. And Soren was napping.

[girlwonder]

Then I would suggest a doctor. Sorry.

ETA: I did drop the twins off at my mom's for two hours today and cooked like a fiend, lest you feel like I was a total Wonderwoman. I made a salad, baked ziti, and a potato and sausage casserole in that time. And Soren was napping.

You say all this as if Wonderwoman would be able to do that much in two hours. You kind of rock, Lydia! :cabbage:

I'm sorry about your headaches, Bridget - could they be allergy related? I get terrible migraines from allergies, so bad that sometimes they make me nauseous. I hope they go away.

[Bridget]

I may just call monday if I get one more this weekend. Thanks, Lydia.

[Gwenn]

So, question for you guys. DH and I were in the grocery store and I saw a boy about 10-11 years old eating an apple while his parents were in line to pay for their groceries. I really hate that - produce is sold by the pound and the cashier weighs it to determine the price. Eating it before you buy it means they can't weigh the food and determine an accurate price. It really bugs me. And it wasn't like he was a toddler who was going to have a screaming fit and the mom was trying to keep him quiet, he was much older and old enough to understand the difference between what they had already purchased and what they were waiting to buy.

Does that bother you guys, or is it just me? DH said he thought it was disrespectful of the store, but I think it's worse than that. Eating a candy bar before buying it is disrespectful, but like I said, this is sold by weight and by eating it they can't determine how much you bought. It's a minor thing, but I still think it's a form of stealing from the store.

[Bridget]

Yeah, it's totally stealing. Not to be the person that offers the unlikely scenario but I will say that I have quickly paid for produce of that nature if my kids are determined to eat it while we shop and I am always wondering if people watching them eat the grapes, or whatever, are thinking that we're stealing it.
I've also been given fruit to sample by the people working in produce both at the co-op I shop now and the one I shopped in Hawaii.

But if he was just eating it then yeah, not cool.

[Gwenn]

Yeah, it's totally stealing. Not to be the person that offers the unlikely scenario but I will say that I have quickly paid for produce of that nature if my kids are determined to eat it while we shop and I am always wondering if people watching them eat the grapes, or whatever, are thinking that we're stealing it.
I've also been given fruit to sample by the people working in produce both at the co-op I shop now and the one I shopped in Hawaii.

But if he was just eating it then yeah, not cool.

That's a good point about buying it first for the kids, I hadn't thought of that. But I will say that since your kids are younger that would make sense, but with an older child, unless there was a good reason such as he hadn't had a chance to eat anything or had been out in the heat and needed something, I would expect him to be able to wait until they were finished shopping. They didn't have a ton of groceries so they likely hadn't been shopping for too long.

I say all that, of course, but with some of my kids I work with I would totally make accommodations like that if I had to so I guess you just never know. Still, I don't think that was the case here.

[daylilies]

Yeah I don't like when people give food from the store to their kids either. Especially an older kid like that. When Josh was a baby and he was throwing a fit, if we had a bag of grapes that we were going to buy anyway we'd give him 2 or 3 off of it and DH hated even doing that. But an older kid..that just doesn't make sense. I even feel bad asking for a free piece of cheese at the deli counter, even though they willingly offer it even if I don't ask.

Bridget, I'm sorry about the headaches :( I hope they go away soon.
I confess I went to a nkotbsb concert last night :) it was awesome. I wasn't close to the main stage, but I was close to the end of the walkway where they came out a lot, and Jon (one of the nkotb) walked by at one point, and I was on the aisle and he grabbed my hand :wub:
I wish I were a Jon girl..I have awesome luck with him LOL

[missychrissy]

That is one of the great things about APA. You get really personal glimpses, sometimes, into other people's lives, and you can hopefully value and develop more insight into yours. Not you Chrissy specifically, but you in general. I know I have learned a lot from things other people have posted, both little and big.

You're absolutely right and I did apply it to me-in a good way. I like to think that Rich & I are still together after 19 years because these 'little things' that come up help us alter things in a good way for each other. While we still have problems, things have generally gotten better each year.

I told him last night that his ability to listen to me blather on about anything, at any moment, is probably one of my favorite qualities about him. He thinks I'm strange, but I know it made him feel good. :D


So, question for you guys. DH and I were in the grocery store and I saw a boy about 10-11 years old eating an apple while his parents were in line to pay for their groceries. I really hate that - produce is sold by the pound and the cashier weighs it to determine the price. Eating it before you buy it means they can't weigh the food and determine an accurate price. It really bugs me. And it wasn't like he was a toddler who was going to have a screaming fit and the mom was trying to keep him quiet, he was much older and old enough to understand the difference between what they had already purchased and what they were waiting to buy.

Does that bother you guys, or is it just me? DH said he thought it was disrespectful of the store, but I think it's worse than that. Eating a candy bar before buying it is disrespectful, but like I said, this is sold by weight and by eating it they can't determine how much you bought. It's a minor thing, but I still think it's a form of stealing from the store.


That's a good point about buying it first for the kids, I hadn't thought of that. But I will say that since your kids are younger that would make sense, but with an older child, unless there was a good reason such as he hadn't had a chance to eat anything or had been out in the heat and needed something, I would expect him to be able to wait until they were finished shopping. They didn't have a ton of groceries so they likely hadn't been shopping for too long.

I say all that, of course, but with some of my kids I work with I would totally make accommodations like that if I had to so I guess you just never know. Still, I don't think that was the case here.

I hate it too, and I've seen adults do similar. Just to play devil's advocate, but there are some illnesses that you can't see that might have required an early purchase of an apple. I'm not sure what it was that the guy in my position at work had, but he had to eat very small meals, every 2 hours. It was some digestive disorder/illness. I guess it wasn't serious, but could make him very sick if he didn't eat promptly. And he was a total health nut. So I would think that when he was 10, it might have been necessary for his parents to get him an apple an what could appear an inappropriate time.

But even knowing about him and that other people likely suffer from various ailments...I'd still think it was odd if I saw it myself in the store. I guess if I were the mom and that is what was going on, I'd buy the apples and let him eat it outside before continuing with my shopping. I wouldn't want the store worrying that we were stealing either.




Bridget, I'm sorry about the headaches :( I hope they go away soon.
I confess I went to a nkotbsb concert last night :) it was awesome. I wasn't close to the main stage, but I was close to the end of the walkway where they came out a lot, and Jon (one of the nkotb) walked by at one point, and I was on the aisle and he grabbed my hand :wub:
I wish I were a Jon girl..I have awesome luck with him LOL

:laugh:

Bridget, I agree with the others that if those headaches continue you should just go to the dr to have it checked.

I'm supposed to be helping Rich clean the house right now. He's vacuuming while I'm perusing APA. :P I just don't feel like it, but I better get my butt in gear. He wouldn't ever say anything if I sat here all day, but my own guilt would kill me. :laugh:

[Bridget]

I woke up without a headache! Yay! I am almost positive it's wonky sleep position and the fact that I'm getting old and i'm not in shape like I was, well, in all the years preceding this one minus about 5 years in my early twenties. :laugh:
I built a silk fort in the yard for Savana and Kai and turned the sprinkler on. I came in to nurse Sawyer and am watching them out the window. They are sharing a homemade popsicle in the fort and it's really cute. I love that they can be in the yard all day. It sure makes a difference in their behavior.
Dbf is finally building his boathouse. He's been trying for 2 years but something always got in the way. He hired an out of work concrete guy for a good price and then a couple of his so called friends that he helps out all the time were supposed to come and help but of course they did not show up.
Oh! He went to the dr to get checked out after the accident and it turns out he has arthritis in his left shoulder/arm. This could be the cause of all his headaches and constant aches and pains. We are looking into ways to remedy it without taking pills. He's been taking so much pain killers for all these pains for years now and it worries me. I am quite sure building a concrete wall will not do well for it at all.

[daylilies]

Yay for no headache!
What is a silk fort?
Does anyone have any encouraging ways to help Josh enjoy things like running through the sprinkler, or playing in the pool, or do you think it's something he's either going to enjoy or not enjoy?
He's afraid of getting his face splashed.

[Bridget]

A silk fort is just a fort made of silks! They are all different colors so when you hang them outside in the breeze/sun it is totally mesmerizing. I'm not even exaggerating that Sawyer sat in his bouncy chair for about 40 minutes just sucking on his fingers and staring up at the silks as they gently blew in the breeze. I swear it mellows out Savana and Kai as well. I put classical music on and they think it's so cool because it really looks like the silks are moving to the music.
Kate, I would maybe just fill tubs or pans with water and put them outside for him to enjoy with sea sponges (you can buy them in the cosmetic dept at walmart) and funnels, pouring containers, etc. That way he gets to experience the element of water without the fear of getting splashed in the face. Maybe even fill the pool with an inch or two and tell him he doesn't have to get in, he can just use the water for whatever. Making mud is a favorite around here! :silly: I bet he'll grow out of that on his own.

[daylilies]

Cool ideas, thanks :)

[daylilies]

Everyone's so quiet today :( It's that time of month again, and it really wrecks me on the first day, so I've just been chilling out. I'm so glad I didn't feel like this last night.

[missychrissy]

:( That's a bummer Kate. I'm sorry. I hope it doesn't last long.

We had a busy day. Well, I didn't till I got up at noon, but from then on it's been busy. :P I did get around to helping Rich clean and between me, him, and Jessica we got the house looking great. Everything was done (I love that!). Jay (my sister in law) came over with her 3 kids. Me & Jay first went in her car to get hot dogs and buns, then went in my car (topless) to get us Skinny Girl Margaritas and some flavored vodka shots. She took hers home with her 'cause she was driving. I had someone come over and look at my camper (hope they make an offer) and Rich put together my freecycle bike with Conner's tandem piece (pics on facebook) so he had me going up and down the road on that all day.

On our last ride he said, "Mommy, I love biking with you" and it just melted my heart. It was one of those moments that I just live for. :wub: Sydney came along on her bike on each ride. It was a lot of fun. But man, am I out of shape or what? I was panting and wanting to shift but couldn't 'cause the shifting cables need to be replaced. It's probably a great workout for me, but I can totally tell when Conner is coasting and when he's peddling. On the last trip I was encouraging him to 'help mommy out' on the uphills :lol:

[Bridget]

I am in LOVE with that bike, Chrissy!!! So cool. And how sweet of that boy of yours. :wub:

I also love that you and your sis go topless to the store. :winks:

[missychrissy]

:D Thanks. I saw a guy and his son at Cornell on one of those bikes and thought it was the coolest thing. Then a couple weeks after that someone was offering one on freecycle so I jumped at the chance to get it, even though I didn't have a bike of my own that would work with it. Friday someone was offering a 21-speed on Freecycle that needed work with the gearshifts and I jumped on that as well. It's in a gear that's ok for riding on the flats so I'll use it as it is this summer. Hopefully in the fall I'll be able to take it in and have shifting cables installed at the bike shop. It's a really nice bike-and light too. I lifted it by myself into the back seat of my car (top down, of course). I'm normally a wimp and can't life Rich's bike that high alone. I :wub: biking, but I'm not really good at it. I'm slow and have to stop a lot on hills. I'm hoping if I can fix this one I'll be able to peddle further up hill.

[missychrissy]

I'm sorry, I drank 2 skinny girl margaritas so I'm just blah blah blah about everything right now. :D

[daylilies]

I saw Jenny mention those margaritas on facebook too. Are they good? Do they use some kind of artificial sweetner?

[missychrissy]

The bottle says it's sweetened with agave nectar. I like them because they're not sweet-not like the margarita mixes you buy in a bucket (uber nasty!). I like my margarita a bit sour, so these are good. Just 37.5 calories for 1.5 ounces too, which is pretty low for a margarita.

[daylilies]

Pretty good...I don't like my drinks syrupy sweet either. Are they pretty good on strength or are they kind of weak?

[missychrissy]

I can't really honestly answer that well as I did start out with a blueberry vodka double shot. I think they're strong though. 12.7% alcohol by volume or 25.4 proof. So, it's not like straight vodka, but it's yummy. I'm on my 3rd and I'm feeling really good. Have about 1/2 a bottle left. :D

[missychrissy]

...see, I was just getting info off the bottle and submitted my answer and grabbed the bottle to take a swig, instead of my glass. That should tell you how good I'm feeling. :lol:

[daylilies]

LOL...cool :) Enjoy!

[Cosmosmom]

Chrissy be careful....you can get into trouble drunk APAing. :)

[Cosmosmom]

Bridget, my first guess would be the sleep for the headaches. That is a surefire way I get them....too many nights of not enough or not good enough sleep.

[missychrissy]

I know, you're right Jennifer. :lol: I'll stay away from heated threads. :P

[missychrissy]

I wonder if it's something to do with spring-time? Or could be? My sil was just telling me that she had a headache from hell that lasted for 3 weeks straight. She will occasionally get migraines, but this was something else entirely and nothing would touch it. I was thinking of you, Bridget, when she was telling me about it. :(

[Cosmosmom]

I confess....I find bugs disgusting. I'm already tired of them...and it's only June. Only good thing about summer is not having to drive in the snow....and trying to grow some veggies. I really hope that I get something out of the garden this year. It's the first year I have been able to do one that wasn't in pots and those never worked out well for me. I think that it will be good this year...as long as critters like rabbits, gophers, deer....don't eat my plants.

[missychrissy]

Bugs are gross. I think living in the country, I've gotten to where I'm ok with their existence, as long as they're not in my house. I will even try to catch them in a tissue and take them outside because I hate killing anything...but no, they're not my favorite thing. *shudder*

I'm sure your garden will grow Jennifer! How exciting!!! We won't have one this year, but I'm sure Rich will plant one next year.

[Cosmosmom]

I know, you're right Jennifer. :lol: I'll stay away from heated threads. :P

Yeah I kind of had some issues with that once or twice and was going to just quit apa (before we decided on adoption) and have been known to get into trouble online before. Once the drinks come out, I need to keep off the computer.
no drunk FBing either!:P

I do have to say that I don't really like tequila. I mean I will drink it....but I like wine...and for hard stuff I like brandy, the clear Bacardi rum, or vodka....in that order.

[Bridget]

I don't enjoy the bugs either but I will tell you my kids LOVE them. So I am able to eep just the tiniest bit of bug joy from that.

I am almost entirely sure my headaches are from my neck being wonky. Several times today while I was holding Sawyer, I would get a quick shooting pain and I'd realize that his head on my left shoulder makes me hold my head to the left while I'm doing everything else with my right hand. Cooking, cleaning, wiping butts, all with my head cranked to the side.
So I'm going to focus on making sure my body is aligned in everything I'm doing and try to hold Sawyer so his head rests on my chest instead of my shoulder.

And after I read that you were drinking a skinny margarita, Chrissy, I started to think and realized I cannot even remember the last time I caught a buzz from having drinks. It's been a loooong time! Strange coming from someone who used to catch a buzz about 5 nights a week for, oh, 10 years or so. And I don't even miss it.

[daylilies]

I just made a post I kind of regret (and I'm not even drunk!)...in the one about the DH making negative comments about parenting. I don't like to talk about how difficult parenting has been for us but I couldn't help myself because I hate the illusion that parenting is peachy and just natural for everyone. I hope it kind of goes unnoticed (even though I know all you guys will go and look now LOL)

Bugs are gross. I'm glad we live in an area where the bugs aren't very big. DH talks about seeing wolf spiders when he works but I'm not sure what they look like. He has to crawl under trailer homes and go in nasty basements to install cable sometimes. I don't dare google them to see how big they are.

[Cosmosmom]

Bugs are gross. I think living in the country, I've gotten to where I'm ok with their existence, as long as they're not in my house. I will even try to catch them in a tissue and take them outside because I hate killing anything...but no, they're not my favorite thing. *shudder*

I'm sure your garden will grow Jennifer! How exciting!!! We won't have one this year, but I'm sure Rich will plant one next year.

I guess I kind of live in the country now. This is the view from my deck http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/249457_10150199354663110_590623109_7163020_208232_ n.jpg

Technically I'm still in city limits but just barely and for now we are the last house on the last street. Eventually there are plans for that field to become a street with homes but we suspect given housing, that will be a while before a developer wants to do that.

So I have always lived in cities, smaller yards or apartments...never been a camper. So yeah not thrilled when I have hordes of bugs on the patio door or I'm finding ticks on us in the house.

At least summer up here is fairly short. And if it's like last year, I will soon have frogs hanging off my doors and windows and at least they eat the bugs!

[Cosmosmom]

My grass looks bad today...hasn't rained in a while but last week it was so pretty (we were thrilled because last year at this time it wasn't even grass yet but fuzz and seed and it really was awful last year...can't imagine why we have issues with weeds!). My only attached neighbor is retired and older....and he LOVES to putz in his yard and will spend hours watering.

[missychrissy]

Yeah I kind of had some issues with that once or twice and was going to just quit apa (before we decided on adoption) and have been known to get into trouble online before. Once the drinks come out, I need to keep off the computer.
no drunk FBing either!:P

I do have to say that I don't really like tequila. I mean I will drink it....but I like wine...and for hard stuff I like brandy, the clear Bacardi rum, or vodka....in that order.

I :wub: vodka! Mostly 'cause it's the lowest calorie, highest 'bang for your buck' kinda drink. I can really get a good buzz going with 1-2 shots of vodka.


I don't enjoy the bugs either but I will tell you my kids LOVE them. So I am able to eep just the tiniest bit of bug joy from that.

I am almost entirely sure my headaches are from my neck being wonky. Several times today while I was holding Sawyer, I would get a quick shooting pain and I'd realize that his head on my left shoulder makes me hold my head to the left while I'm doing everything else with my right hand. Cooking, cleaning, wiping butts, all with my head cranked to the side.
So I'm going to focus on making sure my body is aligned in everything I'm doing and try to hold Sawyer so his head rests on my chest instead of my shoulder.

And after I read that you were drinking a skinny margarita, Chrissy, I started to think and realized I cannot even remember the last time I caught a buzz from having drinks. It's been a loooong time! Strange coming from someone who used to catch a buzz about 5 nights a week for, oh, 10 years or so. And I don't even miss it.

:shock: Oh Bridget! I'm so sorry you haven't had a buzz in 10 years. Cripes!! Monthly buzzing is new to me. I didn't drink at all when the girls were little. I give myself permission now because I'm older, more mature, and the girls are able to take care of Conner if something comes up. If I had 3 little ones right now I wouldn't drink at all either. Not more than 1 or 2 anyway.


I just made a post I kind of regret (and I'm not even drunk!)...in the one about the DH making negative comments about parenting. I don't like to talk about how difficult parenting has been for us but I couldn't help myself because I hate the illusion that parenting is peachy and just natural for everyone. I hope it kind of goes unnoticed (even though I know all you guys will go and look now LOL)

Bugs are gross. I'm glad we live in an area where the bugs aren't very big. DH talks about seeing wolf spiders when he works but I'm not sure what they look like. He has to crawl under trailer homes and go in nasty basements to install cable sometimes. I don't dare google them to see how big they are.

Ewe--your poor dh! I'd hate that!

As for parenting...it is hard. There's nothing wrong with admitting it and talking about it. I might sound like I know what I'm doing, but I don't. I mean...I have 3 older girls so I know that if I make mistakes they'll essentially be ok. I also know that I'm not perfect and neither are they. No one is. Life is more about being able to love your spouse and kids despite their imperfections (at least, that's the point I've come to with my older girls). I hope I'm doing a better job by Conner, but I don't really know if I am. If that makes sense.

[Bridget]

Whoa! Chrissy. I was saying that for about 10 years I used to drink almost every night. It has only been about a year and half since I got tipsy!
:laugh: That's hilarious. What am I a nun?

And for the record, I'm having a beer right now. I just can't catch a buzz because I'm nursing. :angel:

[daylilies]

Yeah he goes into some very...interesting places. Not only buggy but questionable people. I understand he needs to vent about his day but I get really upset with some of the stories he tells about spousal abuse going on right while he's there, or people who are letting their toddlers drink Coke and swear.

[missychrissy]

I guess I kind of live in the country now. This is the view from my deck http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash4/249457_10150199354663110_590623109_7163020_208232_ n.jpg

Technically I'm still in city limits but just barely and for now we are the last house on the last street. Eventually there are plans for that field to become a street with homes but we suspect given housing, that will be a while before a developer wants to do that.

So I have always lived in cities, smaller yards or apartments...never been a camper. So yeah not thrilled when I have hordes of bugs on the patio door or I'm finding ticks on us in the house.

At least summer up here is fairly short. And if it's like last year, I will soon have frogs hanging off my doors and windows and at least they eat the bugs!
I think it looks great! And tics would freak me out too. I'm hoping that as your neighborhood becomes more settled, you won't see them as much.

I totally forgot to tell you, but right after the last conversation we had about how lyme disease was so prevalent in our areas my boss told me that his wife was just dx'd with it. :( I really feel bad for her. I wouldn't wish that on anyone. I guess she was terribly sick for quite a while and finally went in to see what was wrong.

[missychrissy]

Whoa! Chrissy. I was saying that for about 10 years I used to drink almost every night. It has only been about a year and half since I got tipsy!
:laugh: That's hilarious. What am I a nun?

And for the record, I'm having a beer right now. I just can't catch a buzz because I'm nursing. :angel:

:lol: Well, I do think of you as nearly saint-like, but really...I'm buzzed and am not catching everything---obviously!! Keep that in mind for all my posts for the rest of the night!! I'm glad it hasn't been 10 year! lmao!


Yeah he goes into some very...interesting places. Not only buggy but questionable people. I understand he needs to vent about his day but I get really upset with some of the stories he tells about spousal abuse going on right while he's there, or people who are letting their toddlers drink Coke and swear.

:( It makes me wonder what it's like when he's not there, because I'm sure it's worse when no one is around. Most people are on their 'best' behavior when a stranger is around. Ugh.

At one point when I was more desperate about getting out of my current position I considered applying for directv/cable installation. I think I could qualify just from my technical training...but I wouldn't want to work on roofs or under crawl spaces. That would be worse than putting up with my boss and his sulky silences! :laugh:

[missychrissy]

Bridget, what you said about holding Sawyer makes perfect sense to me. I hope that having his head against your chest totally alleviates your headaches. It's really funny to think about how constantly doing anything out of align will cause all kinds of problems.

[Cosmosmom]

Yeah Lyme can be awful. I know a girl I played with growing up got it in the 1980's and it took them forever to figure it out because it was still so new. At least now I know the warning signs and know enough to get in and see the doc should we exhibit any of them. And know to look for them on us and make sure to keep Cosmo current on frontline.

It is kind of a neat view....though one night at twilight back at the tree lines I think that we saw a wolf. Dh thought it was too big to be a coyote. and I really do not care to see any bears!

All this talk of drinks....well I just made me one. :) crystal light and vodka. course I probably would have made one anyway....if it's in the house, I tend to like 1-2 drinks before bed. Not enough to be drunk because the few times i have been hungover....that sucked! But enough that i wouldn't drive...well I wouldn't drive even after a few sips. I don't know if my body has adjusted since it's been almost 7 years but with the surgery, I believe alcohol its my blood very quickly. I don't feel like that anymore but just in case....I mean I used to be buzzing after a few sips of wine.

I would NOT be drinking though if I had a baby in the house on a regular basis. Especially since DH works nights so I would be home alone with baby.

[daylilies]

You guys and your drinks! We don't have anything at home right now and I don't know how the Sunday laws are where you guys are from but in MA the liquor stores close at 5 or 6 on Sundays and grocery stores don't carry alcohol (not even beer)
We always seem to run out on Sundays and forget to go out until too late :crazy:

[missychrissy]

Our liquor store (well, the one I went to last night) closes at 6 on Sundays. I got there at 5:15. :P

Our grocery stores sell beer and wine coolers, but I don't like either. Some people want them to start selling wine as well, but there's a group against that as they fear it will put local liquor stores out of business.

You should have seen me in the grocery store in AZ when I saw the 3 aisles of wine and liquor. I was like :shock: I'd never seen that stuff sold in a grocery store before!

[girlwonder]

We only have liquor in liquor stores here in TX, and because of the blue laws they are not allowed to operate on Sundays at all. And in regular stores, you can't sell beer or wine until noon on Sunday either. I guess they want you going to church instead of drinking on Sunday morning :laugh:

[daylilies]

I just got an evite to a party for one of Josh's church friends, and when I messaged her to ask what he likes, she said no presents. I've never been to a party with no presents-is it customary to bring at least a card, or anything? I did ask if I could provide any food or drink.

[Cosmosmom]

You guys and your drinks! We don't have anything at home right now and I don't know how the Sunday laws are where you guys are from but in MA the liquor stores close at 5 or 6 on Sundays and grocery stores don't carry alcohol (not even beer)
We always seem to run out on Sundays and forget to go out until too late :crazy:
I think that there might be only one actual liquor store in town and they were more expensive than the grocery stores. In WI the grocery stores carry the alcohol...full on departments of it. Makes it easy to pick stuff up when I'm buying groceries. I do think that they stop selling after a certain time at night but I don't shop late at night.

[missychrissy]

We only have liquor in liquor stores here in TX, and because of the blue laws they are not allowed to operate on Sundays at all. And in regular stores, you can't sell beer or wine until noon on Sunday either. I guess they want you going to church instead of drinking on Sunday morning :laugh:

They have a similar law here in NY too. I'm not sure what time it is, but they can't sell before pretty late on Sunday. During the week they can't sell after 1:00 a.m.


I just got an evite to a party for one of Josh's church friends, and when I messaged her to ask what he likes, she said no presents. I've never been to a party with no presents-is it customary to bring at least a card, or anything? I did ask if I could provide any food or drink.
I hate that. I always feel bad going to a party without something and you know other people are likely going to buy anyway. I'd just get him a $10 gift of something you think he'd like.

[Cosmosmom]

You should have seen me in the grocery store in AZ when I saw the 3 aisles of wine and liquor. I was like :shock: I'd never seen that stuff sold in a grocery store before!
I was like that when I went to the stores in Minnesota....I guess that they do beer and wine coolers but not hard stuff (not sure about wine). I had never seen a grocery store that didn't have a nice big alcohol department.

Our stores, I would guess that the alcohol room is probably about half the size of the produce department. They have everything there. Only bad part is I get gas points at the grocery store...but alcohol doesn't count. Well at least it goes on sale!

[Cosmosmom]

I hate that. I always feel bad going to a party without something and you know other people are likely going to buy anyway. I'd just get him a $10 gift of something you think he'd like.
I agree with this.

[Cosmosmom]

Ok that is a strange thing to me too...different buying laws for Sundays? I believe that I can buy from 8am to 9pm every day of the week.

[The10Eels]

I confess I rather enjoyed my two days off before school started... I just checked my assignments and I have four things that need to be completed today.... Oy. Thankfully I am not working through this as well..

[daylilies]

Good luck with your assignments Ash!

I might get him a book...tbh I'm not even sure how old he's turning. LOL maybe 3?

[missychrissy]

Goodnight Mood is a good choice. Well, there are many but that seems to be a favorite for a wide variety of ages.

[Gwenn]

You should have seen me in the grocery store in AZ when I saw the 3 aisles of wine and liquor. I was like :shock: I'd never seen that stuff sold in a grocery store before!

:lol: OMG, you beat me to it! We can buy anything in the grocery store here, although they do have to stop selling the same time the bars close, which is 2am every day of the week so it would only affect 24 hour stores. In the past they couldn't sell before 10 on Sunday but recently they changed it to be the same as every other day, which is 6 am. I'm not sure if they're still in business, but there used to be drive through liquor stores here, too, if you can imagine. I think they're still legal, but I can't think of any off hand. Can you imagine selling liquor through a drive through window? Just crazy!

I really do live in the wild west, don't I?

As far as Margaritas go, I can't drink tequila. It makes me sick. But I love rum and vodka drinks, but I rarely drink enough to get buzzed.

[missychrissy]

I live near the PA boarder and that's the only way you can buy alcohol there-a drive thru. They actually look like car-washes, to tell you the truth. You drive in one end, stop, someone comes to your car and you tell them what you want. They take your money, bring back the change and your purchase, and you continue driving right out of the building.

In PA you can't sell alcohol in any store at all. Except those drive-thru things.

[Bridget]

I don't drink liquor at all anymore. What I would drink is a mojito with fresh mint. :bellyrubs:
Otherwise I'm all about beer or red wine.
Now, back in the day I used to take shots of Petron tequila and I also drank Tuaca on the rocks. Oh lordy. Those days were fun...and hazy. :laugh:

[Gwenn]

Well, in AZ they didn't do it with the intention of restricting access! And they work just like a fast-food drive through, just a window in the side of the building. Nobody comes out and I don't see how they could really tell if you were sober or anything unless you were just wasted.

On another topic, I am reading the most disturbing book right now. Seriously disturbing. It's called Room.

[The10Eels]

We have drive thru liquor stores all over the place here.. I was shocked when we moved here and saw them...



I confess Iced coconut latte... YUM

[missychrissy]

I confess Iced coconut latte... YUM
:D

I'm bored. I seriously need a new job.

[Gwenn]

We have drive thru liquor stores all over the place here.. I was shocked when we moved here and saw them...



I confess Iced coconut latte... YUM

OMG, YUM! I had one yesterday!

[3andMe]

I looked at the description of Room on Amazon for my Kindle, and toyed with the idea of reading it, but rebelled against the idea of paying full price. It does look very disturbing.

In Wyoming there are drive-through liquor stores. It's quite nice. I remember the blue laws for alcohol from when I lived in Texas. In fact, there were a lot of things you couldn't buy on Sundays. Whole aisles were blocked off. I think it's really bizarre now that you can't buy alcohol during the middle of the night. One time I went grocery shopping at 4 am (24 hour grocery store) because that's when I had the free time, I was awake, and dh was home asleep and all the babies were asleep, and I had wine on my list and they wouldn't sell it to me. I was very annoyed. Stupid laws. It was for a recipe!

[Gwenn]

Lydia, I'm reading it through the kindle app on my ipad. I saw it and was intrigued but put off by the price, so I read the free sample beginning pages to see if I liked the style. I was hooked, and bought it immediately. I feel bad, too, because I'm trying to take it easy on spending until my next check since we just got the iPad.

[demigraf]

I don't have anything to contribute to the drinking conversation because I drink maybe 3 times a year, and when I do, I am tipsy after half a drink. I don't even know what the laws are for selling alcohol in CA.

I'm working from home right now, although I planned to go into the office after 12pm today. I decided that since I was going in after 10am, I'd try my luck with the BART train station that's one stop closer to work than my "home" station. They open up restricted parking to the general public after 10 am, and I like that closer station because every southbound train goes to it from my work, whereas only every other train goes to my "home" station. It can be annoying to wait in big lines during rush hour and then have to stand aside when it's not your train. So anyway, I go to the closer station and drive in circles around the parking lot, completely unable to find a single open parking spot. So then I gave up and decided to head back to my "home" station. I get back on the freeway, get lost in thought, and MISS my offramp. Before I knew it I was almost home. So I just decided to keep going. I can't remember why I was planning to go in anyway. I think I wanted to drop off my laptop there so I'd have the space in my backpack for other heavy things tomorrow, but I digress...

I have to admit I've been thinking a lot about Lydia's conflicts with her hubby since I read about them yesterday. Perhaps I can share a helpful perspective, because I am often the impatient one in my marriage when it comes to having conversations. A little background on me, DH & the subject of "talking": My husband hiked all 2300+ miles of the Appalachian Trail before I met him. The trail is very social, since you hike with the same people for weeks on end. One custom for "thru-hikers" is to give each other "trail names" that you use to refer to one another. Practically nobody knows each others' real names on the trail because people introduce themselves with their trail names once established. Well, my DH's trail name was Rambler. Because that is his conversational style.

So my point is, I didn't give him that nickname. He earned it.

He doesn't filter his thoughts before he presents them. He tends to just empty his head of the thoughts that pop into it. When he describes where something is located, it's often as though he's reading from a map in his head ("Let's see, you have Reina Street, and then in two blocks there's Hillside, where there's a big park. After two more blocks you'd end up taking a left at the giant Canary palm tree, and you'll see the green house on the left." ... And that would just be in answer to the question, "Do you live far from here?") When he tells me about his workday, he goes into painful detail over every signal, every little wire he troubleshot that day, even though the structure of the underlying story is the same each time - that he had a problem that he was afraid he couldn't fix, then after some persistence he was able to get to the root of the problem and felt really good about himself after he solved it.

When he tried to get me to sit through two huge photo albums of him hiking the trail, with him stopping to tell me one long rambling anecdote per photograph (I'm not kidding. It would have taken 5 hours to get through just one album) we had a big fight when I put my foot down a quarter of the way through and refused to look at any more pictures.

When we clash like that over me not wanting to listen to any more from him, he a) resents me because he thinks I'm selfish with my attention, and b) gives me a guilt trip about not caring enough about him because I don't want to hear the specifics of his day. And my take is that he isn't respectful of my time, feels too entitled to interrupt what I'm doing, and I definitely don't appreciate the guilt trip he lays on me for just being more interested in something else besides his transistors. In a nutshell, I think he's a bit rude and oblivious to what I might have going on at the moment, as he talks on and on about himself. He learned this habit from his mom, who talks pretty much the same way. To both of them, the stories they tell are an act of giving of themselves to you, and they would both be genuinely hurt if they knew you didn't want the gift.

Anyway, I'm not saying Lydia is anything like my DH. I think mine is a pretty extreme case, actually. And having met Lydia in person, I can say she's not overly chatty by any means. But I guess my point is, after 7 years of dealing with this particular area of conflict with me & DH, the best way I've learned to cope with it is to accept that we are just 2 different people who process our thoughts differently before they come out of our mouths, and who have different ways of listening to other people. I'm also not as good at having my train of thought interrupted by DH, so I resent the intrusions more, and the problem there is that I am often deep in thought.

In the long run, I would rather DH not take it too personally when I don't want to listen to him. And I'm sure DH appreciates the times I cut him slack for just being a stream of consciousness type of talker rather than think of him as someone actively trying to irritate me. We've both worked on ourselves in this department quite a bit; he's become a little bit more conscious about getting to the point faster, while I try to be more patient and a little less self-absorbed. I think things became easier for both of us after we took the resentment and finger-pointing out of the equation and just started to understand ourselves as people with unidentical conversational styles.

So I hope that helps the tiniest bit in your situation, Lydia. :hugs: I'm sorry if you feel the rift has been creating distance between the two of you. I'm still pretty sure that the foundation of your marriage is very strong underneath this quarrel.

[missychrissy]

I agree, that kind of talking would be annoying no matter how much you love a person. I'm glad you guys have been able to work through that. It's a perfect example of how something can cause tremendous strife, but yet be worked through if you love and respect each other enough and are committed to finding a solution.

I admit, I have wondered if I drive Rich crazy since some of these posts have come up. I can also talk bark off a tree sometimes, but Rich never indicated annoyance with me. I don't think I'm clueless and he swears he doesn't mind...but honestly, if he went into such detail about things I didn't know about like I can with computers sometimes, I'm sure I'd find it boring. I don't do it often though, because I do know he doesn't really care about computers. :D

He's been staying away from the alcohol, which I'm happy about, but I still have the feeling that I'm waiting for the shoe to drop again because it's been a cycle for a number of years now. I mean, I was pregnant with Conner the first time I really blew up at him over drinking. That's five years. He had some yesterday, but he waited till everything was done and it was getting dark out before he passed out on the couch. If it only stayed occasional, and he made sure everything was done that needed to be done, I guess I could live with it. But my fear is that now that he's drank yesterday, he'll do it again next weekend. Then it'll be earlier in the day. Then he'll be passing out before some really important stuff gets done. I do not want to live like that.

[daylilies]

That's funny, Room was mentioned on another site I go to. I don't think I could read it though.

Actually I bought Tina Fey's book in the airport on the way back from the cruise and I still haven't finished it. It's laugh-out-loud funny though, especially the part about her honeymoon on a cruise! It was just like my experience with the safety drill and the animals housekeeping makes from hand towels LOL

[Gwenn]

:hugs: Chrissy. I know that fear.

It took him years, but DH has finally accepted that he can't drink occasionally. He used to insist he didn't have to stop, that he just needed to learn to manage his drinking responsibly. I believe that can be true for some people. Unfortunately, it wasn't true for DH. He can't handle it anymore. That's one of the reasons I rarely drink, because I just don't want to create that environment. Then again, I'm like Myles and get tipsy from half a glass of wine so there's not much fun for me, anyway.

[Bridget]

Dbf is a major rambler. i thought he was on drugs the first few times I saw him because he talks fast and never stops. In fact, I have had people ask me that before. Sometimes when I call him he picks up the phone talking, yammers on about this and that and then says, "I gotta go!". I haven't spoken a word and the conversation is over. He also repeats himself over and over when he has a particular thing he is mulling over. The other thing he does is pick up conversations with me that he clearly started somewhere else. Like he'll walk in the house and say, "He's buying the lawn mowers! Both of them after all that! Can you believe it?"

Chrissy, i hope Rich can continue to enjoy in moderation. I sure know it feels waiting for the other shoe to drop.

[daylilies]

It's a fine line between fun and really crappy when we drink. We either have a great time or we fight.

[daylilies]

Dbf is a major rambler. i thought he was on drugs the first few times I saw him because he talks fast and never stops. In fact, I have had people ask me that before. Sometimes when I call him he picks up the phone talking, yammers on about this and that and then says, "I gotta go!". I haven't spoken a word and the conversation is over. He also repeats himself over and over when he has a particular thing he is mulling over. The other thing he does is pick up conversations with me that he clearly started somewhere else. Like he'll walk in the house and say, "He's buying the lawn mowers! Both of them after all that! Can you believe it?"

Chrissy, i hope Rich can continue to enjoy in moderation. I sure know it feels waiting for the other shoe to drop.


Ack! DH does that too, continues conversations he had with someone else, or all of a sudden continues a discussion we had like half an hour ago. And he doesn't understand why I can't remember what he's referring to.

[Bridget]

I'm super mellow and happy when I drink and dbf is obnoxious. Here is a photo that captures that:
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/5770_1175457019761_1028133991_554322_2692140_n.jpg (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?op=1&view=global&subj=675319467&pid=7203099&id=786445523)
:laugh:

[daylilies]

ROFL I love the picture

[missychrissy]

:D That's an awesome pic Bridget! You're beautiful, even when drinking. I look like a lush. :lol:

[daylilies]

I gotta say I don't think there are any pictures of drunk me floating around. That's probably a good thing.
My mother thought my pictures on fb of the latest nkotb concert (with the backstreet boys) were professional. I didn't think they were that good! I wasn't very close to the stage, but I was 14 rows back from the end of the catwalk where they came out a few times.

Josh is a real handful again. I can't tell if his behavior is frustrating us or if our short patience is causing him to act up, or a little of both. I went into the downstairs bathroom just now and there was poop smeared on the wall. I have no idea why he does that but it's not the first time. Guess I'll be accompanying him to the bathroom for a while.

[daylilies]

I got myself some of that skinny girl margarita. You weren't kidding about it not being sweet, Chrissy!

[missychrissy]

I like it Kate!! What do you think?

As for the poop on the wall...at least he's using the bathroom? Sorry, that's my lame attempt at a joke. I remember going through that with one of the girls (never figured out which one was doing it) and it is very aggravating indeed.

Conner still refuses to poop on any potty and has gotten very bad about peeing on the potty. He was accident free for months, then started having occasional accidents, to now when I contemplate just getting him back in pull-ups because he's only peeing on the potty 2-3 times a day. Sometimes, not even that. Conner is, without question, the most difficult child I've had in regards to potty training.

[daylilies]

I do like it, but I switched after one glass to some sparkling rose wine that is pretty good.
Yes I am glad he's using the potty. I just don't get why he's wiping his hands on the wall :(

[daylilies]

Josh pees on the potty all the time except for the occasional middle of the night accident, but sometimes he poops his pants :(

[missychrissy]

Sometimes there's just no understanding why they do the things they do...just constant reminders. Over and over and over again. Eventually, they do get it. At least, so far my 3 older ones did so I have to have faith that Conner will too some day. :P

[daylilies]

Hehe, well I have no other other ones to gauge it by, so I hope he gets it :)

[Gwenn]

Finished reading Room. Disturbing but amazing at the same time. I think it's one of the best written books I've ever read.

[The10Eels]

grrrr.. I had been eying it at work for a while, and now I am going to have to read it....

[Gwenn]

Read it!

[demigraf]

I'm super mellow and happy when I drink and dbf is obnoxious. Here is a photo that captures that:
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/5770_1175457019761_1028133991_554322_2692140_n.jpg (https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?op=1&view=global&subj=675319467&pid=7203099&id=786445523)
:laugh:

:lol: !!!

Gwenn, I have no idea what The Room is about since I haven't clicked through the link yet, but based on your description of a book that's disturbing but really well written, I recommend you at least read the summary of The Secret History by Donna Tartt. M'be it'll hook you too. :)

[Gwenn]

I'll have to take a look at it, now that I'm looking for something else to read.

I didn't link earlier, but here's a link for Room (http://www.amazon.com/Room-Novel-Emma-Donoghue/dp/0316098337).

[The10Eels]

I confess I have a mini-vent...


I just logged into facebook to check if a friend had messaged me back. I see that I have some requests about tags in my photos...

I took some pics of Audri and a friend's kid (we will call the friend S) while we were at the park the other day. I tagged S in the pics so that she could get them.

S's ex-MIL tagged herself in the pictures, and since she is not my friend it asked for my permission for her to tag herself in the pic.

Uhm, that is also MY child in that picture, and I do not know you S's crazy ex-MIL......

Then there was another one, that was the same situation, but a picture of my dad and charlie, and an old family friend tagged herself in the pic....

Would you allow someone you don't know to tag themselves in your pictures??

[Gwenn]

That's a tough one ... I wouldn't do it.

[missychrissy]

I haven't had that happen, but if I had pics with someone else's child on Facebook, I wouldn't be surprised if that child's family tagged themselves so that their own family could see them.

[daylilies]

I think it's annoying when people tag someone who isn't even in the picture...I didn't realize it was for sharing purposes.

[daylilies]

DH is such an enabler!
He goes on about how we can't afford all these new kids shows and the cruise and all that and today I walked in the house after dropping off Josh and he goes "You know, new kids tickets to Fenway aren't very expensive on ebay...why haven't you gotten any yet?" :headbang:

So, because I don't need to be told twice-or usually even once-I was immediately on facebook, messaging my SIL to see if she wanted to go, she couldn't go, so I messaged another friend (because I'm sick of going to NK things on my own or being the one nobody really knows) and I'm waiting on her...and I just know that at some point after the show I'm going to get grief about it...but this is one of the few things I completely enjoy doing and dammit I'm going to do it!

[missychrissy]

:hooray: I hope your friend can go!

[daylilies]

I had just caught her on twitter and she said she was bummed because her sisters didn't want to go, so she wasn't going. So when my SIL said she couldn't, I messaged her.
There is some serious feuding going on because they're touring with the backstreet boys, LOL. It's like you have to be team nkotb or team bsb. I like both. :)

[Cosmosmom]

Kate, I think that kids just don't think sometimes the way we do. I bet Josh just got some on his hand and figured that the wall was a good place to wipe it off....I mean it's gross so better on the wall than on my hand. Plus the wall gets magically cleaned off. He's probably not thinking hey what can I do to gross out and annoy mommy.
And I hope that you get the tickets! Everyone should get to do things that they enjoy.

[Cosmosmom]

I confess....I don't know how all you ladies in the south do this. Yesterday it was 94 (and humid) here. Last time it was that hot was two years ago. Today it's supposed to be 96 or 97 and humid and break a record. Normally in a whole summer, we might have a couple of days above 90....but this is early still in the summer.
And it's not like you can enjoy this outside because of all the little knats and bugs flying around with it being so humid.
I would much rather have it be cold than this! I like 50's and 60's best.

[girlwonder]

I just don't go outside after 8:30 am or before 7:30 pm between Memorial Day and September 30. Unless it is to swim and I tend to think it is too hot to even swim, but JoJo wants to go so I go...

I hate summer.

[Ky'sMom]

Bridget that pic is just hilarious!!!

Kate, I also wouldn't worry about the poop. Ky used to do that, it is when I made him start cleaning up his own bathroom. My younger brothers all did it too. I figured it was a gross boy thing. My older brother did it as well and his thinking was similar to what Jennifer said, he didn't want poop on his hands/fingers so he put it on the wall. He also used to wipe his boogers all over the wall by his bed, we shared a room so I had to constantly look at the booger wall. That was when I realized, as a 5 year old, that boys were some gross creatures.

It is suppose to be the same temp here today Jennifer. Ninety four is not that bad IMO anymore. Once you are in the hot weather for a while, you get used to it. It took me about 3 years to get used to it but now as long as it is around 95 or less and there is a breeze, I'm fine. I admit though that I do hate summers here and long for October in May since we have such mild winters and it is wonderful weather IMO from the end of September through the middle of May.

Forgot to mention that my DH completely healed from his hurt knee. I didn't even say "told you so." But he did cut me some, I-know-you-want-to-say-I-told-you-so looks LOL. And I did, but I don't like to do that. I just told him I was happy it was nothing and reinforced the idea of waiting a day or two to check for improvement before going to the doctor. He also cancelled the MRI, which even though we didn't have to pay anything for, I'm happy he did because I hate wasting expensive medical procedures, plus if too many people in our group act like him and go get all these procedures for sprains, then our premium may go up and I don't want that. I did tell him that, which was the main reason he cancelled it.

Erin

[missychrissy]

:shock: I love summer and have yet to feel a heat that makes me go, "Make it stop!!" Sure I pant and sweat more, but I don't mind it.

[girlwonder]

Chrissy, it isn't so much how hot it gets ( though it does get HOT, over 110 degrees in August), it is the duration. Two summers ago we had over 40 days straight, EVERY SINGLE DAY over 100. I am sure it is just like winter up there where there comes a point where it just starts making you crazy.

[missychrissy]

I'm miserably cold the second it gets below 75. I hate it.

Right now we don't have a/c in our windows because we expected to be moving early July (it's now going to be later July) and it's not normally this warm so early in the year yet. We've already had a couple 90+ days, and tomorrow is going to be 94 (I'm excited :hooray:) I was just telling Rich that I was liking not having a/c and he said, "Don't get used to it."

If it were me by myself, I wouldn't have a/c at all.

[demigraf]

double post

[demigraf]

Will one of you ladies in the hot zones puh-lease send me a box of sunshine and warmth? I love heat - don't even mind humidity that much. Not only is the Bay Area a lot cooler than my hometown of Los Angeles, but it's been unseasonably cold and rainy lately. It's making me want to wear black all the time and become insufferably too hip for everything.

[missychrissy]

People are always surprised when they hear I grew up right here. I'm so sensitive to getting cold, they think I must have been raised in S Cal or a desert. :)

On another note, I just found out that my dad, aunt, uncle and their spouses got together to celebrate my grandmother's 86th birthday this weekend. No one said a word to us about it. While I don't see her often, I do feel left out and a bit offended. Dad was just at our house Wednesday too. I don't understand them.

[Cosmosmom]

I have a hard time breathing outside with it like this. I would die without AC. Once it's past the very low 70's during the day, my central air goes on. I think that I would divorce DH if he tried to not let me have AC....I'm that crabby when I'm hot and sweating.

Plus Cosmo needs central air....she is too much a princess to be that hot. When it's nice out, she will dwadle outside....when it's like this, she's done and ready at the door faster than when it was 2 degrees out there!

[missychrissy]

Will one of you ladies in the hot zones puh-lease send me a box of sunshine and warmth? I love heat - don't even mind humidity that much. Not only is the Bay Area a lot cooler than my hometown of Los Angeles, but it's been unseasonably cold and rainy lately. It's making me want to wear black all the time and become insufferably too hip for everything.

I'm sorry. I'm going to be selfish and keep my 94 for tomorrow. Maybe one of the other ladies will be kind to you. :P

:laugh: about dressing in all black and being insufferably too hip. I'm afraid I went through a similar stage in my teens.

[missychrissy]

I have a hard time breathing outside with it like this. I would die without AC. Once it's past the very low 70's during the day, my central air goes on. I think that I would divorce DH if he tried to not let me have AC....I'm that crabby when I'm hot and sweating.

Plus Cosmo needs central air....she is too much a princess to be that hot. When it's nice out, she will dwadle outside....when it's like this, she's done and ready at the door faster than when it was 2 degrees out there!
I'm sure if I lived in a predominately warm climate (like TX or AZ) then I'd want a/c. I can see where having many days of one extreme temperature could become overwhelming...but, I can't see hating the hot more than I hate the cold. I don't believe I would. And I'm sure I'd spend more time outside than natives.

[Cosmosmom]

Awww Chrissy.....I would be hurt by that also. I don't get families like that either.

Myles, bay area would be my ideal weather! If it wasn't for the earthquakes, cost of living, and population density....I would love to live in SF.

I don't mind the cold (though it gets old after a while) but am not that fond of snow...well it will be fine once I can be retired and only drive on days I want to. But heat, nope turns me into a whining crabby b*tch if I have to be in it for too long. Thank god DH knows me so well and puts up with me when we have traveled in summers! He's good about making sure that I can rest in shade if needed and that I have lots of water. He tolerates it better than I do.

[missychrissy]

Awww Chrissy.....I would be hurt by that also. I don't get families like that either.

Myles, bay area would be my ideal weather! If it wasn't for the earthquakes, cost of living, and population density....I would love to live in SF.

I don't mind the cold (though it gets old after a while) but am not that fond of snow...well it will be fine once I can be retired and only drive on days I want to. But heat, nope turns me into a whining crabby b*tch if I have to be in it for too long. Thank god DH knows me so well and puts up with me when we have traveled in summers! He's good about making sure that I can rest in shade if needed and that I have lots of water. He tolerates it better than I do.
:wub: That's very sweet of him. He's much like my dh is to me when I'm whining about the cold. He'll scrape my car off for me, and if he's home when I'm about to leave he'll always go out and start it for me. He also keeps the fireplace going so the living room area is above 80 for me.

What our men do to please us!!! I'm also much like you are in the heat when it's cold out. I get so cranky and miserable I can't stand myself. On the plane in from AZ it was the 1st or 2nd week of April and the pilot told us there would be snow showers when we landed in Ithaca. I actually had tears come to my eyes and had to really fight to keep from crying.

[daylilies]

Whoever wants the really hot weather can have it! I don't hate it-in fact I prefer it, over winter, but boy I wish we had a longer spring. I could really live where it's in the 60's and 70's year round. It's already going to be in the 90's here this week.

I'm sorry you were left out Chrissy :( that stinks.

[missychrissy]

It didn't appear any of my other cousins were there, either, but Tim & I are the only ones that really live close. I mean, that park is just 2 blocks from my mom's house. We would have gone if we would have known.

I remember when my dad's wife had a bday party for my dad but she didn't tell us. We stopped in and saw everyone there. She was very pissy to us.

[daylilies]

I hate it when families are like that :( It still blows DH's mind that my family all speaks to each other. He doesn't even know his dad's side of the family.

[daylilies]

Oh, just a little kudos to DH (because I don't give him enough)--
Because I was so upset about the photo op from the cruise coming out bad, he took me out the day of the concert last week and bought me a new dress and sweater :) I was freezing but I looked good!

[demigraf]

Myles, bay area would be my ideal weather! If it wasn't for the earthquakes, cost of living, and population density....I would love to live in SF.

I think the Bay Area kind of needs to maintain its image of being this expensive, overpopulated place where the ground might lurch under your feet at any moment, sending panes of glass the size of Buicks raining down from the buildings overhead. Perhaps that helps keep the cost of living down and leaves more seats on the train for those of us who do live here. LOL.

What does keep me up at night is the threat of tsunami. See this map?

http://i419.photobucket.com/albums/pp276/bellycatessin/san-andreas-fault-map-1.jpg

See Daly City just beneath San Francisco? The fault line juts out into the ocean just a bit offshore right there where my town of Pacifica lies. My house is up a canyon and 400+ ft above sea level so I feel ok about a tsunami striking while we're all at home, but Bodhi's little pre-preschool is 3 blocks from the ocean and the thought of him being there during a tsunami freaks me out. The school had to close down the day of the Japan tsunami.

When I play a tsunami out in my head, I think which way the giant wall of water would flow. The one mildly reassuring thought is that there is a 4-lane highway between Bodhi's school and the water (one has to cross an overpass to get to the ocean), and that road is kind of dug out below sea level, so the school actually sits at least 50 ft above it. The water would have to fill the highway, and still rise up above it in order to get to the kids. In the best case scenario, the highway would act as a super-sized gutter and send all the water a mile or so south. I mean who knows. It depends on just how much water there is. Enough of it, and it would still be very, very bad.

I don't think there's ever been a real tsunami near San Francisco (though Santa Cruz got hit with some bad waves from the Japan one, and there are tsunami evacuation route signs everywhere). So let's hope we never have to find out.

[demigraf]

chrissy, that stinks that they didn't think to invite you to your gramma's celebration. I think anyone who's a gramma must not feel like they have a lot of birthdays left. It would be nice to have as many loved ones around as possible for the ones you do have.

kate, that's a really sweet story about your DH. I can say mine has never bought an article of clothing for me besides maybe a sweatshirt.

[Bridget]

Chrissy! Why would they do that? How rude.

Jennifer, we are near 100 degrees over here by madison. It's sweltering. Thank goodness my daycare is in the basement and it is so cool down here that I wore a sweater for most of the morning. I felt bad not bringing the kids outside but I don't want Sawyer in this heat.

Dbf buys me clothes and he usually does a good job. At any rate, he buys things that most woman would probably like. ( I'm so not his type it's crazy.) A few things I have in my closet that he bought that I will never wear but that I do appreciate: A hot pink pair of sweatpants that say Juicy Couture on the butt 2)A very soft angora wool half sweater. (I don't like those. They're like...sleeves and that's it) 3) a very expensive, very heavy gold and ruby necklace. It's beautiful but so so so not my style.
I have a lot of things from his that I do wear though.

I remember once when his mom visited us in Hawaii and she sort of sprung it on us that she'd watch Savana (she was our only then) so we could go out. I was ready in like 7 minutes. She said, "Wow, it must be great for M that you don't do anything to yourself and can get ready so fast. He's used to the opposite, his ex was always dolled up."
Hmmmm. Is it just me or do her compliments sound like insults? lol

[daylilies]

Well since I was with him I did get to try it on first...LOL
OH and then he bought me two bras from VS :) each one cost more than my dress for heaven's sake! I was reminded why I never buy bras there...but they are nice.

[missychrissy]

Hmmmm. Is it just me or do her compliments sound like insults? lol

:eyebrow:Yeah, that was an odd thing to say. I wouldn't really know how to take it either, and probably would have taken it in the most insulting way possible.


Well since I was with him I did get to try it on first...LOL
OH and then he bought me two bras from VS :) each one cost more than my dress for heaven's sake! I was reminded why I never buy bras there...but they are nice.

Sounds like he really spoiled you!! Yay!

[demigraf]

My manager just talked to me and yes, my job has been eliminated. The best case scenario is that I could still work through the end of July. At worst, I'm done at the end of June. :/

[missychrissy]

Oh no! :hugs: I'm so sorry. :(

[daylilies]

Oh no, I'm sorry :(

[Gwenn]

Myles, I am so sorry to hear that. :hugs:

I'll gladly send you some sunshine, though. It was up over 100 this weekend, I think up to 106. I'll shave about 10 degrees off that and send it to you.

We have both swamp coolers and a/c. The coolers are much cheaper to run but they don't work once the weather turns humid. Turns out we have a leak in the coolers. DH turned them off until he could get the water fixed but in the meantime we didn't want to turn the a/c on. Poor Nero was miserable and panting last night so today DH did switch over to the a/c. I don't like it because the a/c means we have to keep the doors and windows closed and the air feels stale. With the coolers you have to keep everything open. And, apparently the a/c in the front of the house isn't working at all. DH is going to try to fix the leak so we can switch back to the cooler but we'll have to get the a/c fixed (which means calling the repair guy) before the humidity comes. That should be late June or early July.

[daylilies]

We had our annual disagreement about whether to keep the windows open or not during the day. I say it's better, if it's hotter outside, to keep the windows closed and shades down, but he says to keep the windows open so the air doesn't get stale. Yes, but it's HOT air.

[missychrissy]

You're actually right Kate. When it cools off in the evening, that's when you can open things up to get fresh air circulation.

[Gwenn]

Yes, I agree. With no cooler or a/c you want the windows closed in the heat of the day.

[The10Eels]

LOL that it is an annual disagreement.

I'm very glad that I quit my job. I found out today that once my cna class is over I am going to be a traveling fool until fall semester starts. :) idaho falls for a makeshift family reunion, alaska to see my bff, and missouri to see b's family.

[Gwenn]

Jealous ... I wish I was going to be traveling more.

[daylilies]

Sounds like fun Ash!
We have window AC's upstairs and down but we try to limit their usage.

[3andMe]

Myles, is this job ending as bad for you as it sounds? Or is this change=opportunity? Can I offer condolences and congratulations at the same time, or is it just condolences? And I hear you on the crappy weather. I wore all-black on Saturday and was reminded of my days in high school when I wore black and felt all pale and dramatic and wrote poetry, back before being goth was much of a trend (gah! I feel old!).

I'm happiest when the weather is between 74 and 82 degrees. I don't like extreme cold or extreme heat. That's one of the main reasons I moved to the Bay Area. Before I moved here, I made pro and con lists of the few places I had in mind to move. Austin, Seattle, and the Bay Area were my finalists. I am so glad I left Wyoming, and I am actually quite happy with my choice. There are some down sides about living here, but life's been good to me so far.

[Cosmosmom]

:hugs: myles!

Bridget, I would take that as a compliment. It means that you are very down to earth and naturally good looking and thus don't need to take forever getting dolled up.

Ummm, I run the central air for weeks on end without opening the windows and the air isn't stale......it's actually much easier on Dh's allergies to have the house closed up.

Mandy, I saw my first swamp cooler when we were visiting my uncle in CA...he lives between Sacramento and Reno but not quite up in the mountains. I thought it was the strangest thing ever! I try everything to remove moisture from the house, not add more in!

[daylilies]

Good point about the allergies! DH gets them wicked bad in the spring and summer.

[Gwenn]

Lydia, I have one thing going through my mind as a response to your post. Forgive me if it's overly technical but that's just the perspective I come from.

There are 3 basic "purposes" for communication that emerge in children by about 12 months or so and that underly all communication. I pay a lot of attention to the why and how of communication in my work, which we call pragmatics. It's pragmatics that I mostly work to teach, and in that way I am different that the majority of SLPs who work on grammar and speech sound production with more neurotypical individuals.

Getting to the point, the three core pragmatic purposes are, in ascending order of difficulty, behavioral regulation, social interaction, and joint attention. Again, all of these are present in toddlers. Behavior regulation is communicating to fulfill a specific need. I want juice, I want to play with that toy, I want a greenhouse, what have you. Social interaction is communication simply for the experience of interacting. Singing a nursery rhyme together counts as communicating for social interaction. So does sharing small talk or social chit chat. Joint attention is communicating about a shared experience, such as a baby pointing to an airplane in the sky and wanting to make sure you saw it as well. Or a married couple laughing about something that happened to them on vacation once.

I've had to teach all three of these aspects and usually behavioral regulation is easiest to teach, while joint attention is the hardest, with social interaction somewhere in the middle.

Honestly I think your husband is stuck on behavior regulation. What do I need to do to accomplish my goal of X, Y, and Z? He doesn't appear to be using the other, more abstract reasons to communicate. I know it's somewhat common for men to dislike chit chat, but they should be able to share a social experience with others.

Sorry if I'm preachy or overly technical, but my reaction to "communication has to have a specific goal" is that social interaction in and of itself is one of the three major pragmatic goals of communication. And they are all essential - it is joint attention, the most difficult to develop, that enables us to learn from one another and make progress as a species.

[Ky'sMom]

Bridget, I would take that as a compliment. It means that you are very down to earth and naturally good looking and thus don't need to take forever getting dolled up.



I was thinking the same thing. The ex probably was a troll and needed more dolling up than you do. But this is coming from someone who frequently takes insults as a compliment, especially if such insults come from people who I don't really think have a grip on reality.

So sorry to hear about your position Myles. I too hope that this will be a great opportunity for you. But still, I know losing a job can be daunting if you need it financially.

I also get horrible allergies. Here in the SE we have horrible pollen counts, sometimes in the 4-5 thousand range, which I never thought was possible. I used to break out in hives if I went outside in April as there is usually a yellow-orange tinge to the air due to the pollen, you can actually see it and it is everywhere. I (shamefully) still have some in my van on the dashboard because I keep forgetting to wipe it off and it does bother me every morning.

We also get multiple days of 90+ temps every summer, which is why I hate it. It is just too much IMO and even though it doesn't bother me like it used to I would rather there be a week or 2 of 90s then some 80s at least. A couple years ago we had a string of about 20-30 days of 100+ temps and that set a record since we usually are between 92 and 98 for the about 3 months straight during summer.

Erin

[3andMe]

I have been very fortunate to be surrounded by so many supportive and educated women, both in real life and in here. Thank you!

[Gwenn]

In my experience, people with very high IQs who have pragmatic difficulties are able to learn to strategically use the different forms of pragmatics, as you describe. This hits home for me, too, because my father is exactly like this. But the effort put into it does indicate a problem and something that comes naturally.

I think what needs to happen is that it needs to be made clear to him that the way he is expecting YOU to communicate is stilted an unnatural, and not healthy for you psychologically. He has to meet you halfway. He has to understand that if his marriage is important, he has to put equal effort into maintaining the social interaction and joint attention aspects. Honestly the social interaction is far more important in marriage than in a career. He has to understand that.

I have more thoughts, but DH is hungry and wants to eat. We can continue this later if you like.

[3andMe]

You are absolutely brilliant, Mandy!

[demigraf]

There are 3 basic "purposes" for communication that emerge in children by about 12 months or so and that underly all communication. I pay a lot of attention to the why and how of communication in my work, which we call pragmatics. It's pragmatics that I mostly work to teach, and in that way I am different that the majority of SLPs who work on grammar and speech sound production with more neurotypical individuals.

Getting to the point, the three core pragmatic purposes are, in ascending order of difficulty, behavioral regulation, social interaction, and joint attention. Again, all of these are present in toddlers. Behavior regulation is communicating to fulfill a specific need. I want juice, I want to play with that toy, I want a greenhouse, what have you. Social interaction is communication simply for the experience of interacting. Singing a nursery rhyme together counts as communicating for social interaction. So does sharing small talk or social chit chat. Joint attention is communicating about a shared experience, such as a baby pointing to an airplane in the sky and wanting to make sure you saw it as well. Or a married couple laughing about something that happened to them on vacation once.

I've had to teach all three of these aspects and usually behavioral regulation is easiest to teach, while joint attention is the hardest, with social interaction somewhere in the middle.

Honestly I think your husband is stuck on behavior regulation. What do I need to do to accomplish my goal of X, Y, and Z? He doesn't appear to be using the other, more abstract reasons to communicate. I know it's somewhat common for men to dislike chit chat, but they should be able to share a social experience with others.

Sorry if I'm preachy or overly technical, but my reaction to "communication has to have a specific goal" is that social interaction in and of itself is one of the three major pragmatic goals of communication. And they are all essential - it is joint attention, the most difficult to develop, that enables us to learn from one another and make progress as a species.


That explanation was awesome!! :)

[demigraf]

I'm still processing the job loss. I went to my dance class and jumped around and felt silly in a good way, so I'm glad I did that.

It's true, I do need the income because I basically support us, we are in debt from 2 years of me not working and a bunch of unexpected expenses last year, and I'm burned out on the job search process. This will be the 3rd time in less than a year, whereas my previous contracts were all 2 years or more. Also, despite my complaints, I like this job. My teammates are cool, my boss is nice. I liked the autonomy and, of course, loved working from home. Yesterday, I took a call while I was dyeing my hair.

But I'm sort of getting excited at at the concentration of time I'll have to spend again with Bodhi. And I'm eligible for unemployment again, which will at least keep us afloat, I think. I can't count on getting it 100%, though. They have a few strict requirements and my employer is actually out of state, so I don't know how that all plays out.

Anyway, we'll make it work, and I'll make the best of it. I guess I should just feel fortunate to have had this position for the 6 months I've had it.

[Gwenn]

Lydia, I'll send you a PM. You're welcome to go back and edit my posts if you feel self-conscious having too much out there.

[missychrissy]

That explanation was awesome!! :)

I was thinking the same thing.

Lydia, I have nothing to offer like Mandy has, but I do empathize. You amaze me because you've handled the whole thing in such a classy way. I can only imagine how difficult it can be at times for both of you. :hugs:


I'm still processing the job loss. I went to my dance class and jumped around and felt silly in a good way, so I'm glad I did that.

It's true, I do need the income because I basically support us, we are in debt from 2 years of me not working and a bunch of unexpected expenses last year, and I'm burned out on the job search process. This will be the 3rd time in less than a year, whereas my previous contracts were all 2 years or more. Also, despite my complaints, I like this job. My teammates are cool, my boss is nice. I liked the autonomy and, of course, loved working from home. Yesterday, I took a call while I was dyeing my hair.

But I'm sort of getting excited at at the concentration of time I'll have to spend again with Bodhi. And I'm eligible for unemployment again, which will at least keep us afloat, I think. I can't count on getting it 100%, though. They have a few strict requirements and my employer is actually out of state, so I don't know how that all plays out.

Anyway, we'll make it work, and I'll make the best of it. I guess I should just feel fortunate to have had this position for the 6 months I've had it.

:hugs: I hope this turns into an unexpected opportunity for you somehow. I'm sure it'll be hard to remain positive, but there are benefits. Extra time with Bodhi is definitely one of them.

[AbbeysMom]

My manager just talked to me and yes, my job has been eliminated. The best case scenario is that I could still work through the end of July. At worst, I'm done at the end of June. :/

I'm sorry Myles. :hugs:

Hoping that a new position comes around for you in some serendipitous way, and you can avoid all the job-hunt hassles. :vibes:

[The10Eels]

I confess the new manager at my "old" place of employment decided to put in her two week notice... 3 days after I was officially done....

Im pissed. Had I known she was going to do that I would have stayed on part time until CNA was done, and taken the manager position.

[The10Eels]

Oh, and Papa Murphys new Thai Chicken deLite pizza is DELISH

[Bridget]

Myles, it sounds like you have a positive outlook on what the future holds for you and short term at least you get to spend more time with little dude and that outshines everything, doesn't it?
Ashley, that's crazy timing eh? But you have such a great summer planned with all of your travels and time off with the girls. For the best I think.

I had to call poison control tonight. For dbf. :eyeroll::eyeroll:
We were just settling in to do bedtime stories when I hear him yelling my name from the other room. At first I ignored him because I was hoping he'd then find his way to where I was but he continued to yell so I started coming down the hall asking him what he was hollering about and he's all, "CALL POISON CONTROL!!". I come into the kitchen and he's leaning over the sink. So I ask what's up and again with the frantic demands for me to call poison control because he...wait for it....took. a. bite. of. a. plant.
:laugh: I'm sorry. It wasn't funny at the time. He was frantically spitting into the sink telling me he was trying to tear a dead leaf and it wouldn't tear so he bit the stem. He's telling me his mouth is burning so bad he wants to die. So I'm on the phone with poison control and online at the same time trying to identify the plant and the man on the phone is telling me that while it will irritate the mouth, he'd have to eat like five leaves for any plant at all to actually hurt him. Meanwhile dbf is spitting so much out that he thinks he's foaming at the mouth and talking outloud about it but every time I ask him a question he suddenly can't speak because it hurts so much. The poison control guy asked to talk to him so I handed him the phone and he's all blurgutty flubberty. I told him to talk normal like he just did to me 30 seconds ago. He is just too much sometimes!
Oh, the dramatics around her I tell you! The poor kids were so scared while I kept telling them daddy was fine he was just scared because even grown men get scared sometimes. :winks:
After him and I were both laughing about him freaking out so bad and I told him he should try to maintain composure when the kids are around in situations like that because they get really scared. He said I had no idea how it felt on his tongue so I can't say that I would have been able to keep my cool.
I told him I maintained my composure while I gave birth to Sawyer so I wouldn't freak the kids out. That shut him up.:laugh:

[The10Eels]

Ashley, that's crazy timing eh? But you have such a great summer planned with all of your travels and time off with the girls. For the best I think.

This is true...

and my trip to see B's family was officially booked! We are actually going before my CNA class. We leave the 22nd!

[Gwenn]

:lol: OMG, Bridget! I am cracking up here! Such a drama queen!

[demigraf]

Oh, I'm so glad I decided to log in at midnight. That story is hilarious, Bridget!

I once had to call poison control too because when Bodhi was 8 months old, he reached over from his bouncy chair and took a bite out of an epiphyllum plant. It was funny too, because we'd just introduced solids to him and I'd just been complaining to moms in my DD room that I just couldn't get him interested in eating. Hee. Anyway, I'm glad M is okay.


Ash - maybe they would consider you for the manager position anyway if you really want it?

You guys, I'm not doing so hot tonight. I'm feeling a little sorry for myself, I guess. I had called DH with the job news earlier in the day, and on my way home, I started getting angry again at my DH for depending on me financially. I began to wonder if there was anything he could say to make me feel better, and it was with that mindset - me doubtfully watchful of whether or not he could lift my spirits - that I walked in through the door. Bodhi was on the couch, so after saying hi to DH who was cooking at the time, I just sat down next to Bodhi, who absent-mindedly snuggled into me while he kept on doing what he was doing. DH sat on the opposite couch and asked me if I wanted to cry. I nodded that I did, and he told me to come over to him and have a cry. That was nice of him. Maybe he thought I was disappointed, and I am, but I don't think he realized the cry was also because I am just plain stressed out from the weight of having to take care of us moneywise. Heck, I was unhappy about it to begin with even before the prospect of unemployment. And as the night wore on, I was just ... I don't know ... waiting for him to say something that was take-charge and reassuring, and there was nothing he could tell me. The most hopeful and honest thing he could say about the situation was: "Don't worry. You'll find another job."

Maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I would have hoped to have married a man who could solve a problem by saying "Here's what I'm gonna do to make this better for us." It just never feels that way. It always feels like I'm the one leading us through crises and so I feel very alone at the moment.

Then when we got into bed, we talked about it again and the conversation didn't go so well. He just gave me more of his pep talk about how *I* was going to get us out of this mess. I snorted and said, "Uh, yeah, *I'll* take care of us". And in lame passive-aggressive fashion, I started crying and told him I wished I some sort of parental figure in my life who could step in and take care of me. I said it out of frustration, in response to being annoyed with his words. I knew I was telegraphing a criticism to him by saying that. He got the memo, and said "Well, I'm so sorry I can't take care of you through this. I guess starting a business was the wrong thing to do."

Now I feel guilty for making him feel bad about himself, I mean, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. I can't realistically expect him to suddenly become able to save the day, and I criticized him for it anyway. I should have handled that better. I guess, overall though, I'm still stunned by how our financial dynamic ended up this way. 3 tax returns ago, with him working as the chief of the studio down south, the two of us had the best year ever. It's not that I couldn't picture his fledgling business not doing well, it's just that I guess I envisioned that after a couple of net loss years, he'd mobilize to do something different to change his income picture. I never dreamed he'd accept such a huge income disparity lying down, that I'd ever hear him argue the case for retiring on MY efforts. Right now, I just don't see him with any ideas, no plan except to wait for more work to come in and to use the excuse that "my field just doesn't pay as much as yours."

I think I'm truly more disappointed at DH's inability to think and act to help us as a family than I am about ending another job contract. He's a sweet guy, but honestly, I wish I had more of a father figure to take care of me. (Don't get me started on my dad, who definitely has never been a strong leader.) DH wants to be that father figure, but in a superficial way.

[missychrissy]

I confess the new manager at my "old" place of employment decided to put in her two week notice... 3 days after I was officially done....

Im pissed. Had I known she was going to do that I would have stayed on part time until CNA was done, and taken the manager position.

:( I'm sorry. Can you try for it anyway? But like others posted, you are going to have a wonderful time this summer anyway.


I told him I maintained my composure while I gave birth to Sawyer so I wouldn't freak the kids out. That shut him up.:laugh:

You are awesome! I am glad it wasn't serious. It is funny, in hindsight! :laugh:


You guys, I'm not doing so hot tonight. I'm feeling a little sorry for myself, I guess. I had called DH with the job news earlier in the day, and on my way home, I started getting angry again at my DH for depending on me financially. I began to wonder if there was anything he could say to make me feel better, and it was with that mindset - me doubtfully watchful of whether or not he could lift my spirits - that I walked in through the door. Bodhi was on the couch, so after saying hi to DH who was cooking at the time, I just sat down next to Bodhi, who absent-mindedly snuggled into me while he kept on doing what he was doing. DH sat on the opposite couch and asked me if I wanted to cry. I nodded that I did, and he told me to come over to him and have a cry. That was nice of him. Maybe he thought I was disappointed, and I am, but I don't think he realized the cry was also because I am just plain stressed out from the weight of having to take care of us moneywise. Heck, I was unhappy about it to begin with even before the prospect of unemployment. And as the night wore on, I was just ... I don't know ... waiting for him to say something that was take-charge and reassuring, and there was nothing he could tell me. The most hopeful and honest thing he could say about the situation was: "Don't worry. You'll find another job."

Maybe this is just wishful thinking, but I would have hoped to have married a man who could solve a problem by saying "Here's what I'm gonna do to make this better for us." It just never feels that way. It always feels like I'm the one leading us through crises and so I feel very alone at the moment.

Then when we got into bed, we talked about it again and the conversation didn't go so well. He just gave me more of his pep talk about how *I* was going to get us out of this mess. I snorted and said, "Uh, yeah, *I'll* take care of us". And in lame passive-aggressive fashion, I started crying and told him I wished I some sort of parental figure in my life who could step in and take care of me. I said it out of frustration, in response to being annoyed with his words. I knew I was telegraphing a criticism to him by saying that. He got the memo, and said "Well, I'm so sorry I can't take care of you through this. I guess starting a business was the wrong thing to do."

Now I feel guilty for making him feel bad about himself, I mean, it was like shooting fish in a barrel. I can't realistically expect him to suddenly become able to save the day, and I criticized him for it anyway. I should have handled that better. I guess, overall though, I'm still stunned by how our financial dynamic ended up this way. 3 tax returns ago, with him working as the chief of the studio down south, the two of us had the best year ever. It's not that I couldn't picture his fledgling business not doing well, it's just that I guess I envisioned that after a couple of net loss years, he'd mobilize to do something different to change his income picture. I never dreamed he'd accept such a huge income disparity lying down, that I'd ever hear him argue the case for retiring on MY efforts. Right now, I just don't see him with any ideas, no plan except to wait for more work to come in and to use the excuse that "my field just doesn't pay as much as yours."

I think I'm truly more disappointed at DH's inability to think and act to help us as a family than I am about ending another job contract. He's a sweet guy, but honestly, I wish I had more of a father figure to take care of me. (Don't get me started on my dad, who definitely has never been a strong leader.) DH wants to be that father figure, but in a superficial way.
Great big :hugs: Myles. It's totally normal to go through a period of mourning when you lose your job, and that includes the whole range of emotions that you described. Fear, uncertainty, anger...all of it. I truly hope something else, better, comes along for you that makes you glad you were let go from this one.

As for everything you described about your financial situation and how your dh is in dealing with this enormously stressful time, he sounds exactly like my dh. I can absolutely relate to the frustration, anger, and resentment of not only being the primary breadwinner, but also the one that 'carries' the family and navigates through all the turmoil. I've so badly wanted 'someone' to take care of me, or tell me what to do, so many times it's not even funny. My heart goes out to you. I know that feeling too well.

In your dh's defense, and I'm sure you already know this, but it can take a few years before a business really takes off. Not that I've ever started my own business, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt if you will, but my feeling is that if there's any way possible for him to continue plugging along at it then he should. Providing, of course, that y'all are making it. Albeit, very stressfully. I know it's uncertain and it's easier said than done. I'm 100% positive I'd be wishing my dh were going to do something with more certainty in income if I were in your shoes, so I don't mean to minimize your feelings at all.

:(

[daylilies]

Hugs Myles :( I understand what you mean. I don't think I have very helpful advice but I wanted you to know I read it.

DH and I owned a business. It was tough and just as it was starting to make a profit we decided it was too much. Josh was a baby and DH was also working full time at Comcast. I had to cover a lot of hours at the business because he did not have reliable employees (they were his friends, who turned out to not really be his friends, but that's another story) which I resented and I just felt it was hurtful to our relationship.

Owning a business is tough. Maybe if he's stuck in a mindset that may not be right for making the best profit, you can help him see another perspective.

[The10Eels]

:( I'm sorry. Can you try for it anyway? But like others posted, you are going to have a wonderful time this summer anyway.

I could re-apply to the company, specifically for the position, but Im at the point now where I don't want it. Had she done it before I was actually done it may have been a different story.

I think it pisses me off so much because I really wanted them to see how downhill this place will go without me, and now they can still attribute it to her because she is leaving too. (She was getting all the credit for us being #1 in the company... even though we were there before she started)

[girlwonder]

I'm sorry about your job and the way you are feeling today, Myles.

[girlwonder]

That's too bad about you old boss quitting, Ashley. But now you get to travel and spend more time with your babies!

[demigraf]

Thanks for your support ladies... seriously. It meant the world to me to be able to tiptoe out to the living room in the dark, turn on my laptop and just start tapping out my feelings.

Sometimes I get down on myself for spending too much time on APA. But it's become more and more clear to me that APA has provided me thousands of dollars in free therapy. Plus, I have made the kind of friendships with a multitude of women that you get excited about if you can find just one friend like that every few years.

Did that sentence make sense?




As for everything you described about your financial situation and how your dh is in dealing with this enormously stressful time, he sounds exactly like my dh. I can absolutely relate to the frustration, anger, and resentment of not only being the primary breadwinner, but also the one that 'carries' the family and navigates through all the turmoil. I've so badly wanted 'someone' to take care of me, or tell me what to do, so many times it's not even funny. My heart goes out to you. I know that feeling too well.

In your dh's defense, and I'm sure you already know this, but it can take a few years before a business really takes off. Not that I've ever started my own business, so take my thoughts with a grain of salt if you will, but my feeling is that if there's any way possible for him to continue plugging along at it then he should. Providing, of course, that y'all are making it. Albeit, very stressfully. I know it's uncertain and it's easier said than done. I'm 100% positive I'd be wishing my dh were going to do something with more certainty in income if I were in your shoes, so I don't mean to minimize your feelings at all.

:(




DH and I owned a business. It was tough and just as it was starting to make a profit we decided it was too much. Josh was a baby and DH was also working full time at Comcast. I had to cover a lot of hours at the business because he did not have reliable employees (they were his friends, who turned out to not really be his friends, but that's another story) which I resented and I just felt it was hurtful to our relationship.

Owning a business is tough. Maybe if he's stuck in a mindset that may not be right for making the best profit, you can help him see another perspective.


Thank you guys for being able to relate.

You're totally right about the challenge of starting up a business. I just am having trouble believing in my DH. I know that sounds bad. Sometimes I think "a business" is not the appropriate term for what he's doing. It's more like freelancing without a business plan. I think even if his business were in full swing (which is unlikely given the state of the market and the niche he's in) there's a pretty low profit ceiling for a one-man operation. He bills about an average of 10 hours a week, and yet he's always down in his shop working and acting like he's got too much to do, seemingly ALL the time. So I definitely see some inefficiencies there; it doesn't matter how high his hourly rate is. If it works out that he's billing an hour for every 3 or 4 that he actually works, then his business will never get into full swing. It's not adding up. He's acting like he's working at maximum capacity now (including all the grumpiness of someone with too much to do), and yet billing like a man of leisure. I don't know what to do about it. And as I mentioned before, I still haven't quite gotten over the fact that I'd need to DO anything about it. Why isn't he figuring this out for himself? For us?

[daylilies]

I think what you said makes a lot of sense about the invaluable support we can get on APA. I consider you all my closest friends. You guys know more about me than anyone else does, I think, except DH. I feel largely left out of things in real life but here I feel like I can jump in and out of things and still feel involved.

[Bridget]

Myles, I can totally understand your way of thinking. I think if I had to work full time and be away from my kids while my partner dabbled in freelance it would make me frustrated as well.
As it is, for us, dbf is a pretty good provider. I just don't feel like he gives me enough credit for how hard I work. Not only in raising and teaching our own children full time but also 3-4 others. He only sees dollar signs and on paper I'm not making much money at all but what he seems to forget is that if I went out and got a job outside the home we would be paying at least 500 in childcare a week. So the way I see it, tack that on to my wages.
He works sporadically and makes good money when he does a remodel job, or buys something, fixes it up and sells it, or sets up an aquarium. So when we fall behind he swoops in with a job and pays our bills/credit cards. But I get frustrated when he doesn't currently have job at all and he suggests that I take on one more child which would put me at capacity this summer. I just feel like I have all I can handle with Sawyer being an infant and that taking on another child would just take away from the kids and families who already count on me. I'm stretched as thin as I can go right now. So when he says that I feel like telling him to go get a regular job but I made a promise long ago that I wouldn't ask him to do that if he would please just move us over here to be closer to my family. It's just that we never get ahead. We never have a cushion. We live week to week.
Sorry, i didn't mean to make this about me. Just want you to know that I understand the feeling of wanting to be taken care of. And my dad is an amazing dude who always took care of us and my mom so it's hard for me not to have high expectations in that area.

[missychrissy]

I also feel like this is where my best friends are, and you're right, it's probably saved me 100's in therapy.

Myles, do you think you could approach this worry with him? I'm just thinking out loud, and obviously you would know better than me, but what about telling him that you're worried what this job loss means for his dreams. Tell him frankly that if he can't drum up more business or charge more hours, it may mean he'll have to find a job as well. Let him know he's equally responsible for your financial health.

Bridget, as for your dbf I'd just lay it out on the line and say that you'll add an additional kid when he gets a Mon-Fri regular job. :P

[Gwenn]

Sometimes I get down on myself for spending too much time on APA. But it's become more and more clear to me that APA has provided me thousands of dollars in free therapy. Plus, I have made the kind of friendships with a multitude of women that you get excited about if you can find just one friend like that every few years.

Did that sentence make sense?

I feel the same way. You guys know more about me than anyone IRL in some ways.

I understand about your DH situation, too. With DH's unstable job situation recently I feel very much that the burden is all on my shoulders, and now that he's not getting his check from the guard it is becoming painfully obvious that I just can't do it all on my own. I need him to be earning something.

I think I posted that DH went through this long interview process with a local company and in the end they did not hire anyone. DH then was talking with someone he knows who has a local small business and wants to expand it in a new direction, and he wanted DH to do that work for them. It's two guys, the guy he was talking to and his partner. Because the new area doesn't exist yet, they can't offer DH a salary but offered commission. They also offered him a day rate for teaching classes for them.

So DH sat down with them, negotiated terms, and signed a contract that reflected what they all agreed to. He then came up with an outline for his first class, which is a class they have never taught before although they offer other classes. After emailing the outline, the partner called DH and said he didn't want him working on classes, he wanted him to stick entirely to the new business area and the partner would handle the classes - which was not what they agreed to in the meeting. That SAME EVENING, the partner called DH up and asked if he had more materials available as a resource for developing the class. Apparently he didn't know enough to develop the class on his own, while DH could teach it with his eyes closed.

I am so annoyed (as is DH) and I'm afraid DH is going to put time into this and not focus on finding a "real job", while in the meantime these two will potentially use him without him benefiting from the situation at all. And as I said, I can't support us on my salary unless we make big changes such as cutting out cable, cell phones, etc. Which if we had to do, I would do, for example I'd gladly sacrifice all that to be a stay at home mom ... but I am not okay with working hard and having to sacrifice all that so my husband can sit home and mess around with stuff like this and earn nothing. Does that make sense?

[demigraf]

Gwenn, what happened to your DH would drive me so batty! I hate taking direction from people who don't know what they're doing or know the best way to use my skills.

I'm obviously not glad to hear that others feel the same burden as me when it comes to feeling like the team is on your shoulders, but as usual, it feels nicer to have company, so thanks everyone for sharing.

:hug:

Sometimes I feel so wrong for wanting someone to take care of me. Someone who could provide equally and share my worries would be a fine thing, though.

[demigraf]

I'm on a total roller coaster today, btw. My employer (the agency I consult through) called me and told me that the bank might try to keep me afterall for a project starting in Sept. Even if they don't keep me, the guy I spoke with gave me a timeline of late August for my departure. I don't know what to believe, and I don't want to get my hopes up.

Even my manager yesterday alluded to wanting me to take a work hiatus in July while there's little work for me. I could manage that if it means I get to stay on in this position a little longer.

One thing at a time I guess. I will still update my resume today. All bets are off if Virgin America comes knocking on my door. ;)

[daylilies]

None of my friends can go to the concert :( I can't decide if I want to go alone or skip it. I mean, they're playing Fenway Park. That's a pretty big deal. I even asked DH if he could go and he said he would but he can't get the day off. I'm going to ask him again when he gets home.
A few girls from H's group on the cruise are going but I never heard back from them if they know someone who wanted to go but isn't, or even if they wanted to meet up with me for a drink beforehand or something. Oh well.

[Gwenn]

I hope everything works out for you, Myles. Definitely update your resume but it would be great if they keep you on for the new project. In the meantime, staying until August gives you some time to make plans if you make a choice to go in a different direction.

I forgot to say earlier, but I love your new pics, especially the one of you and Bodhi on the beach!

[Gwenn]

That sucks, Kate. I'm sorry.

[daylilies]

Almost time to work the puppy dog eyes, LOL

Remember how I asked about getting Josh used to playing with water? Well, I took him to the Y that offers swimming lessons and I heard it has a neat pool that you can walk into at one end (rather than going down steps or a ladder) and it was great! There were lots of kids there and Josh went in right up to his chest. He had a pool noodle and he was trying to figure out how to float on it and he kept telling me not to hold him :) So I think he needs to be in a fun environment, not just hanging out by the kiddie pool with old mom. LOL

[missychrissy]

Someone who could provide equally and share my worries would be a fine thing, though.

Yes, it would. :hugs:

Mandy, I would be irritated as all get out about what happened to their dh too. If I were him, I'd refuse to give any information for the classes. Or insist on being paid for consultation regarding the classes.

Kate, I hope your dh can manage to go. That's wonderful about Josh and the pool though! :hooray:

We sold our camper tonight. On one hand I'm sad, even though we weren't going to have an opportunity to use it ourselves. On the other, I'm happy because I have a good start on our paint, primer, curtains, and maybe even carpet for a couple rooms!! :cabbage:

[The10Eels]

Kate, I really hope someone can go with you! No matter how much you love the band, it probably gets a little boring to go all by yourself! And YAY for josh and the pool!

[Bridget]

We are having some crazy ass storms right now! I am scared!

[daylilies]

Stay safe Bridget!
DH really can't go. I don't know what to do.

[missychrissy]

:( I wish I could go Kate. What a bummer.

[daylilies]

I'll probably go anyway. Eff it.

[Bridget]

I'm sorry, Kate. What a huge bummer. Do you think you will go? You might just meet some cool people.

I confess that I lost my patience with Savana tonite. :ohno: She is just so incredibly argumentative sometimes and it's really difficult to deal with. I'm usually able to diffuse it pretty quickly but tonight Sawyer was really fussy all through dinner and it was very, very hot and muggy in our house. I had just gotten him to sleep when she started in about something and was being very loud. I kept asking her to speak quietly and she kept getting louder and sassier. Anyway, I snapped at her and she got really upset. I apologized and was laying with her in the bed and snuggling her and she told me she doesn't like it when I leave her alone in the room. That was part of the confict is that her and I and Sawyer sleep together and if he's not settling I have to walk the house with him or rock him in the living room and I needed her to lay down while I did that. Anyway, I asked her why she was suddenly scared to be alone in the bed when she never minded before and she said, "I don't know mama. I just hate getting older. I remember being littler and never being scared of anything and not being scared to be alone. But now I lay her and I see scary things and think about scary things. I never had any of these problems when I was younger." She was crying the whole time and it just broke my heart. I'm feeling like **** for snapping at her when I knew she was overtired and it's my fault she's overtired in the first place. It just feels like there aren't enough hours in the day. I get done with the daycare and try to hang out for a bit before getting dinner, then trying to get ready for bed...it's always later than it should be.
Anyway, I asked her if she thinks watching movies makes her have scary thoughts and she gave an adamant yes. So I think we are going to phase out our friday night movie night. I'm going to suggest game night instead. We'll do once a month movie night. There aren't enough wholesome kid movies to do them every night. Some kids are fine with any old movies but my kids are bothered by the darkness and "bad guys". And that's ok. It won't be easy to cut down on movie nights but in the long run I think it will be better. I'll have to make game night super fun.
I'm feeling so sad that she said she doesn't want to get older. It's like she such an old soul already. She's longing for her youth and she's only five. :ohno:

[daylilies]

Aww, Savana. I think it's awesome she can express her feelings so well though.
What about Pippi Longstocking, or the Anne of Green Gables miniseries? I remember liking those as a kid (I was older than Savana though, and I don't know if Kai would like them at all)

I don't know if I can go at all now...Josh's school still hasn't deposited last month's check and I just gave them this month's check today. I wouldn't even care about not going if he hadn't mentioned it a couple days ago. I got my hopes up and now I'm just kind of bummed.

I'm not great at just meeting people...they have to give off a very friendly vibe for me to just talk to strangers. I talked to the couple next to me at the Boston Garden last week and they turned out to be from a town not too far from me.

[3andMe]

Mylah, I can't imagine how much fun it would be to work for Virgin America. I would have such a hard time not being immature about it, though. When asked "What do you do?" I would shrug coyly and say through lowered lashes, "I'm a Virgin" (pause) ... "America informatics director" (or whatever it is that you do). Hee hee hee. I'm sure everyone there does that from time to time, or gets it back enough that they get sick of it. On the other hand, it's great that you might get a little more bang from your old job, but could they just let you go and then re-hire you instead of putting you on hiatus, so at least you could apply for unemployment?

Bridget, I was trying to get Soren to sleep for such a long time after some horrible person rang my doorbell at 9:00 and caused him to go into hysterics (Soren, not the stranger), but I have to tell you that your anecdote about your dh nibbling on the plant and frothing at the mouth and garbling at Poison Control made me shake my bed when I checked APA one last time before going to sleep, I was laughing (silently) so hard. You really made my evening after an hour of dealing with a screaming baby! If childcare doesn't work out for you, I think you really should consider collecting some of your stories for future publication in some form or another. You have such a great way with words.

I'm sorry to hear that Savana is scared. Some of the moderately scary stuff in fairy tales or kids' movies is supposed to be a safe way for kids to deal with their real fears but in a more controlled environment. Do you think it's the scary stuff in the movies? From what she said at first, that she didn't like getting older, and that she was seeing scary stuff, I wouldn't have guessed it was from movies necessarily. At that point (of course, she's older and you know what she's been watching and what she might be scared of), if I were to ask my kids "Is it _____ that is making you scared?" they would say yes because it's a leading question and they think that's what I want to hear. But that is one of the reasons children don't make good witnesses.

Of course, game night sounds like a great plan, too, and also if she's overtired you could try setting a timer for yourself - even if it's a mental timer - and trying to get them a firm bedtime so she gets enough sleep. Do you think that would help?

I would ask her about the scary things. I know she's been getting better with the compulsive behavior, but if she is feeling like things are out of control in her world, maybe what is scary is not out there but inside? Maybe that's why she wishes she were younger, when she didn't feel like that?

It is just a thought. I hate it when I feel all tempestuous and out-of-sorts too, and when I was younger I had much less ability to deal with it. I think that's how I relate to my Claire so well - I feel like I am guiding her through how to control her emotional impulses, whereas I never had the impulse to go through a room and randomly poke people the way Ro does so I don't relate to him the same way.

Sweet dreams tonight, everyone.

[Bridget]

Thank you, Lydia. I'm up nursing Sawyer and you have some great advice here.


I would ask her about the scary things. I know she's been getting better with the compulsive behavior, but if she is feeling like things are out of control in her world, maybe what is scary is not out there but inside? Maybe that's why she wishes she were younger, when she didn't feel like that?



This makes perfect sense. I will try to talk to her more about it today. I had planned to try and discuss things with her when she was less emotional, less tired.
The timer is a good idea. It's just a matter of getting dinner in them before bedtime. It always takes so long to prepare with Sawyer in one hand and a mixing spoon in the other. Dbf should be helping more but he is obviously going to inconsisent at best so I might have to try and do more meal planning, preparing and freezing on the weekend.

[Gwenn]

Bridget, I think what Lydia has to say about Savanna makes a lot of sense. I would give that a try.

Kate, I'm sorry you can't find someone to go with you. It's too bad particularly if the Fenway concert is going to be a big deal. I think Boston is their hometown? Not sure why I know that. I saw Stevie Nicks in Phoenix, which is her hometown, and it was really special. She sang a few songs she says she never sings at concerts and her mother was in the audience. It really seemed like a special night.

[missychrissy]

Aww, Savana. I think it's awesome she can express her feelings so well though.
I agree. She's amazing.

I know you feel bad Bridget, but don't be too hard on yourself. You're human and were overtired. I'm sure in the grand scheme of things she isn't going to remember the snap. Maybe when she's 14 and you experience something like that...those get to be the stories the kids share with company at Christmastime. :P

Kate, I'm so sorry about not finding a concert buddy. :(

Pat Benatar is going to be in a neighboring town July 1st. I'd love to go, but we need to soak all our extra $ in that house right now and if I'm asking my kids to make sacrifices (no family trip this summer) then we need to as well.

[daylilies]

Yeah, they're from Boston. I think it's going to be special. We can't afford the ticket I wanted, because now we need expedited shipping. DH is looking at cheaper ones now. There's one going for $40 now on ebay but if other people bid it could go up quite a bit.

[missychrissy]

If you're certain you want to go, I'd bid the most I was comfortable paying and hope for the best.

[daylilies]

Yeah...at first I wanted floor seats but now I just want to be there! Floor seats aren't great anyway when you're only 5 feet tall. (unless you're wayyy up front like the VIP tix but those are hundreds of dollars)

[Cosmosmom]

We are having some crazy ass storms right now! I am scared!
I was wondering if they were getting you too. All my family is Milwaukee/Kenosha area and I spent a lot of last night just watching the radar and calling them as they were in the basement. That was a LOT of red on the screen.

[daylilies]

I'm glad everyone was okay through the storms! We got a severe thunderstorm last night and we're supposed to get more today.

[The10Eels]

I may be screwed out of another semester... 2 more years to finish my degree instead of just a year-year1/2.

I just took a placement test, since my college goes by ACT scores and I took SATs..

The scores are based out of 100... I got a 98 in reading, 93 in writing....
To be in my bio class this fall I needed a 45 in the math section, and I got a 28...

[daylilies]

Oh no Ash! I'm sorry! Can you take it again?

[The10Eels]

I can, but I don't know how I am going to brush up my math skills before August, enough to make me pass anyways

[daylilies]

I don't know. I never took the ACT's. Can you find like one of those tutoring companies? I think their courses are only a month long or so.

[The10Eels]

Im going to look into it.. especially since Im not working now.. I would have a little more time to put towards it

[Cosmosmom]

Oh no Ash....that would have been me too with the great reading/writing scores and lower math (especially once out of habit of doing it in high school a few years!).

[missychrissy]

:( Ash that sucks.

I had to take a refresher math course when I re-entered college. It didn't delay my degree though because I had so many other courses that I had to take as prerequisites for my degree program anyway.

[Cosmosmom]

I confess....I had to wear a light fleece jacket to work this morning!!!! :) And I got to turn the central air off. :)

[daylilies]

Wow!
It's only 80something here...they said it was going to be high 90's.