Secular Confessions

[Gwenn]

I know I've mentioned in here that we are planning to completely re-do the kitchen. When we bought this house it had been stripped (no appliances at all in the kitchen) and the cabinets date to what looks to me like the 1950's (house built in 1938 so in theory it's possible they could be original to the house but I don't think they're that old. Our intention was to rip out the cabinets, install new ones along with new appliances (currently we have a new fridge and are using a very big/high end toaster oven, hot plate, and microwave for cooking). DH just suggested that instead of replacing the cabinets, we replace the doors instead. I agree it would be cheaper, but even the bodies of the cabinets are old and the wood is peeling off. And the cabinets over the fridge come down too far and we have to have the fridge out from the wall, so we might need to replace at least those, anyway. What do you think? It is worth it to save the money to keep the 50-70 year old cabinets?

I told him we HAVE to replace at least the countertops, and he agreed to that, so we'll still need to make major replacements in there. And the cabinets would have to be completely stripped/sanded and either painted or stained - he says stained because he doesn't like paint on wood. I don't know about staining sanded down poor quality wood.

[demigraf]

I actually did spend a good amount of time reading back on all the posts that I missed the past few days. I was majorly derailed by clicking through to all of Katy's amazing eggs. I wouldn't be able to create anything that intricate and beautiful on a regular-sized surface, let alone something as small and delicate an egg. Katy, your patience is astounding. Lately, I've been getting back into 2 hobbies - picture-frame making and painting (since Bodhi's really into playing with paint nowadays). And I'm painfully aware that my aesthetic has everything to do with my lack of patience. Everything I create looks very ... messy and half-done.

AshEel (that's my new nickname for 10Eels Ashley), I'm so sorry to have learned about your aunt. :comfort: I hope she's found her peace and your family is there to console one another. However, I am very stoked to hear that you've got a new beau. One of these days, I hope you share a pic of him.


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kate, every time I hear a NKOTB song or see a band member in the tabloids, I think of you. And I think about the John Mayer cruise where he wore the yellow spandex suit...

http://images.huffingtonpost.com/gen/10599/original.jpg

...but mostly I think of you. :laugh:

Speaking of times I think of you guys... Erin, the other day, I was washing my hair with conditioner, just like you'd talked about earlier in the thread. And out of the blue, it dawned on me why it was called "co-washing", because it's "CO nditioner-washing". It was like a lightbulb going off above my head, only I'm glad one didn't because I was in a wet environment at the time and I would have most certainly been electrocuted. I do want you to know that I think of you often in the shower nowadays. LOL.

Bridget, how are things on the subject with your DBF going off on his own for the wedding in NY? I'm so sorry that he's given you reason to mistrust him. I just hope that after a long, long time you can build up the trust you lost in him. It must be so hard. I struggle with finding a way to even trust my sister anymore, and I can't figure out how just yet. Trust is just so hard to recover once it's lost. I actually am thinking right now if I've ever started trusting someone again after that person lost my trust, and I can't think of one. Then again, I don't often give a person second chances before I do the cutting-off thing, so what do I know. Anyway, :hugs: I hate it that he makes you nervous. Have a glass of wine for me, ok?

Chrissy - I was really happy to hear that social services is no longer on your back. Like you said, you have an above-average bond with your children. It doesn't seem right to have them interfering with your parenting when you're clearly very good at it.

Molly, did Abbey ever turn orange?

On a serious note, I had another all-out shouting match with DH again at 5 am this morning. It had to do with his extremely unsupportive (read: hostile) attitude towards my breastfeeding. Among the "nicer" things I said to him was that his attitude stems from societal prejudice against extended breastfeeding, that and the notion he has in his head that Bodhi needs to "hurry up and grow out of it already". All my objections are valid, I think. I am embarrassed to admit, though, that I've let DH set restrictions around the times I am "allowed" to BF him. This week, I put my foot down because my kid had a 103.6 fever and wasn't eating anything. Of course, I was going to nurse him ON-DEMAND for comfort AND for the nutrition/hydration/immunity boost. I think my BFing is a leading reason that Bodhi's already almost completely well again.

Anyway, Bodhi's been growing more intense all around, as he's a toddler and is loud and persistent about what he wants, and his head cold made him crankier than usual this week. DH is pretty much blaming all his toddler-like behavior on me. He believes that my breastfeeding promotes B's dependence on me - as if Bodhi wouldn't have tantrums about something else if he didn't have the boob to rally for.

So the last 2 nights have been rough because B was sick and particularly insistent on me being in his bed with him at night. I don't mind it one bit, but he's been chanting for the "booby" all night long, and that's been causing DH to fight with me over it. DH has been trying to kick me out of the room, instead of letting me calm Bodhi down through nursing (which would work instantly). I have been stubbornly not letting him take over for me when Bodhi was asking for nothing but mommy.

Long story short, the fight at 5 am was about all that. On top of it, I'm pretty sure I threw in some latent resentment I have for him re: the utter unfairness with which he handles our finances. However, I said something shamefully hurtful to DH that I realize I didn't mean, although I felt something very close to it at the time. I still have to apologize for saying the overly-harsh stuff. I hope he doesn't take it to mean that my arguments had no merit. That's the problem with arguing with too much force - if you have to apologize about one thing, you run the risk of your opponent interpreting it as you having been wrong about everything.

Well, that's all ladies. Oh, except I'm happy to report I finally finished painting the kitchen a whole month after I started it ... with and without pants on. It'll be nice to not have to look at blue painter's tape (and that awful wallpaper) anymore.

Thanks for reading my really long post again.

[demigraf]

I know I've mentioned in here that we are planning to completely re-do the kitchen. When we bought this house it had been stripped (no appliances at all in the kitchen) and the cabinets date to what looks to me like the 1950's (house built in 1938 so in theory it's possible they could be original to the house but I don't think they're that old. Our intention was to rip out the cabinets, install new ones along with new appliances (currently we have a new fridge and are using a very big/high end toaster oven, hot plate, and microwave for cooking). DH just suggested that instead of replacing the cabinets, we replace the doors instead. I agree it would be cheaper, but even the bodies of the cabinets are old and the wood is peeling off. And the cabinets over the fridge come down too far and we have to have the fridge out from the wall, so we might need to replace at least those, anyway. What do you think? It is worth it to save the money to keep the 50-70 year old cabinets?

If you can re-use the doors when you eventually replace the cabinets, then I would go for it. However, unless you use an independent cabinet maker when you finally do replace the bodies, I don't think you'll be able to purchase just cabinets without the doors at a significant savings compared to entire cabinets with doors on them. So in that sense, it might be best to bite the bullet now and replace them.

[Gwenn]

Sorry to hear about your fight, Myles. :hugs:

[daylilies]

OMG, it's the Borat outfit! My eyes!
I'm sorry you've been fighting with DH about bfing. That makes me sad.

[Gwenn]

If you can re-use the doors when you eventually replace the cabinets, then I would go for it. However, unless you use an independent cabinet maker when you finally do replace the bodies, I don't think you'll be able to purchase just cabinets without the doors at a significant savings compared to entire cabinets with doors on them. So in that sense, it might be best to bite the bullet now and replace them.

I imagine DH is picturing that down the road we would replace them with complete new cabinets rather than trying to salvage the newer doors. But yes, that's almost like a second renovation in there so it's almost worse.

He's feeling anxious over what he just spent on the truck and looking for ways to cut costs, but if we want to rent this house out we have to have a presentable kitchen. It isn't an option.

[Gwenn]

OMG, it's the Borat outfit! My eyes!


Yes, that hurt my eyes too!

[missychrissy]

Sorry, I'll have to go back and respond to other posts later. I saw this one from Mandy and had to put in my 2 cents.


On an unrelated note, DH bought the truck he's been talking about and had it at the dealership for some repairs. It was finished today and we went out to pick it up (I'm on spring break right now) and then went to lunch. When I went into the restaurant bathroom, I was a little annoyed because (possible TMI) AF is here and there was one trash can placed between two stalls and I didn't like that the person in the next stall could potentially see what I was throwing away, even if I was discreet about it. Then I went to wash my hands and realized the person who had been in the next stall was an 8-9 year old boy. His mother brought him into the ladies' room instead of sending him to the men's room on his own. I had a huge problem with the whole thing - DH said once he was old enough to be in school he used the men's room and 8 was way too old to use the women's room. What do you girls think?

Years ago I had too much time on my hands mid-day and watched too much Court TV. One of the cases I watched beginning to end was of an early 20's man that walked into the restroom of a park and came up behind a young boy (8-10?) and slit his throat while he was standing at the urinal. His mom was standing directly outside the door.

I was horrified, of course, and ever grateful that I had girls. Now, I have a boy and I can promise you that Conner will not be going in any public restroom alone. Well...at some point I'll have to let him but most definitely NOT at 8. I'll try to find a family bathroom, or a bathroom that just has 1 toilet in it, but if I can't then people are just going to have to deal.

[demigraf]

Speaking of eye-pain ... OMG, Lydia, I finally got around to googling that stuff about our flying friends from the Jurassic/Cretaceous period. :shocker: Unsettling, but amusing all the same. I'm not sorry that you shared it with us. :P

[missychrissy]

On a serious note, I had another all-out shouting match with DH again at 5 am this morning. It had to do with his extremely unsupportive (read: hostile) attitude towards my breastfeeding. Among the "nicer" things I said to him was that his attitude stems from societal prejudice against extended breastfeeding, that and the notion he has in his head that Bodhi needs to "hurry up and grow out of it already". All my objections are valid, I think. I am embarrassed to admit, though, that I've let DH set restrictions around the times I am "allowed" to BF him. This week, I put my foot down because my kid had a 103.6 fever and wasn't eating anything. Of course, I was going to nurse him ON-DEMAND for comfort AND for the nutrition/hydration/immunity boost. I think my BFing is a leading reason that Bodhi's already almost completely well again.

Anyway, Bodhi's been growing more intense all around, as he's a toddler and is loud and persistent about what he wants, and his head cold made him crankier than usual this week. DH is pretty much blaming all his toddler-like behavior on me. He believes that my breastfeeding promotes B's dependence on me - as if Bodhi wouldn't have tantrums about something else if he didn't have the boob to rally for.

So the last 2 nights have been rough because B was sick and particularly insistent on me being in his bed with him at night. I don't mind it one bit, but he's been chanting for the "booby" all night long, and that's been causing DH to fight with me over it. DH has been trying to kick me out of the room, instead of letting me calm Bodhi down through nursing (which would work instantly). I have been stubbornly not letting him take over for me when Bodhi was asking for nothing but mommy.

Long story short, the fight at 5 am was about all that. On top of it, I'm pretty sure I threw in some latent resentment I have for him re: the utter unfairness with which he handles our finances. However, I said something shamefully hurtful to DH that I realize I didn't mean, although I felt something very close to it at the time. I still have to apologize for saying the overly-harsh stuff. I hope he doesn't take it to mean that my arguments had no merit. That's the problem with arguing with too much force - if you have to apologize about one thing, you run the risk of your opponent interpreting it as you having been wrong about everything.

:hugs: I wish he was more supportive about breastfeeding. I don't understand why anyone has issues with it, especially parents. Poor Bodhi..I hope the discussions don't stress him out.

[missychrissy]

I know I've mentioned in here that we are planning to completely re-do the kitchen. When we bought this house it had been stripped (no appliances at all in the kitchen) and the cabinets date to what looks to me like the 1950's (house built in 1938 so in theory it's possible they could be original to the house but I don't think they're that old. Our intention was to rip out the cabinets, install new ones along with new appliances (currently we have a new fridge and are using a very big/high end toaster oven, hot plate, and microwave for cooking). DH just suggested that instead of replacing the cabinets, we replace the doors instead. I agree it would be cheaper, but even the bodies of the cabinets are old and the wood is peeling off. And the cabinets over the fridge come down too far and we have to have the fridge out from the wall, so we might need to replace at least those, anyway. What do you think? It is worth it to save the money to keep the 50-70 year old cabinets?

I told him we HAVE to replace at least the countertops, and he agreed to that, so we'll still need to make major replacements in there. And the cabinets would have to be completely stripped/sanded and either painted or stained - he says stained because he doesn't like paint on wood. I don't know about staining sanded down poor quality wood.

I nearly could have written this post. My cabinets aren't that old, but they're...awful. I tried to paint them when I was in my mid 20's and did a horrible job on them. I don't think we're going to have the option of replacing them though, so sanding and painting it will be for us. I hope hope hope I can do a better job this time. :cry: I'm not good at this stuff at all. I feel sick and anxious when I think about it because we're hoping to rent or sell, so doing a sh1t job isn't an option. But paying someone else to do it isn't either.

We're trying to decide on replacing the doors, or sanding/painting the current ones too. I guess we can try it and if they're really bad, we'll just buy new doors (?). I saw a show on HGTV where they had painted the cabinets one color and the doors were something else and it didn't look bad. But again, you have to have an eye for such things, which I do not.

[Gwenn]

Not replacing the doors on our cabinets isn't an option. The wood is distorted and not even straight. I should take a pic ... they're horrible.

[missychrissy]

I think there are 2, maybe 3, doors that were ruined. The centers are a cheaper, thinner board and they got wet somehow and warped/cracked really bad. I believe it just happened to the two by the sink from when the girls used to hand wash the dishes.

Anyway, we discussed replacing the centers, either with some other board of the same thickness or with glass and putting them in a cabinet where we can display our china. I really can't remember what condition the doors really are in though, so we may just opt to get new doors altogether.

We definitely have to replace the counter tops and back-splash too. What's in there is the old Formica that was put in when the house was built in '68.

[Gwenn]

Okay, I got out my camera.

Here is the inside of the cabinet doors:
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f245/gwennero/DSCN0283.jpg

And the outside of the cabinet base:
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f245/gwennero/DSCN0284.jpg

And, for good measure, DH's new/old redneck truck:
http://i48.photobucket.com/albums/f245/gwennero/DSCN0280.jpg

[missychrissy]

Nice truck!

A couple of our doors look like that, but like I said we're hoping we'll be able to work around them.

My problem is that I can get what I think is a great scheme in my head and buy the exact colors that are portrayed in the pictures, but then it just doesn't look good at all once I've done it. I simply have no artistic eye...and frankly, I don't like it. I'm not crafty and don't desire to me. I need to do something with our house and feel tremendous pressure to make it look good. I have no confidence in myself to be able to pull it off though.

I need to rent an APA mom to decorate for me. :P If only I could afford to!

[Gwenn]

Chrissy, I could have written THAT post!

And I thought you'd enjoy the redneck truck! ;)

[missychrissy]

Very much! Our neighbor has a similar one...he has the small size. Dakota I think? Your dh's looks like the full size one. ?

I'm feeling extremely cranky right now. Sydney has been whining about her phone for a couple weeks. It's a cheap Juke and on its last leg, but there's not much I can do about it. I could get her a free phone if I renew our contract, but with our house/mortgage being up in the air and not really knowing where we're going, I don't want to sign another 2 year contract. Our cell bill is $250/month. After June, if things get tight, I can cancel it. I want to keep it that way, at least till we get our mortgage caught up in Feb (if we go that route).

Anyway, today she tells me she dropped it in the toilet. :eyeroll: I suspect it was on purpose. We have a really, really old cell phone that I activated temporarily, but it seems to be having a hard time charging. She's pressuring me about when I can buy her another phone off ebay...and I'm feeling like I just can't. We need to save everything we have to put into our old house. It's going to be so tight from Jun-Feb. She's upset with me. I'm just feeling miserable about everything.

[Gwenn]

I wouldn't feel bad about it, Chrissy. If she did it on purpose, she should learn that that's not an acceptable way to force your hand and get her way. At least, that's what I would have been told at that age. Not that I wouldn't feel bad inside, too.

DH's is the full size. It's a 1 ton and runs on diesel, so as he tells me the engine will last forever and it gets better mileage than a gas truck would. It hope he's right. We did need a truck, since no one in the family has one, but I wasn't expecting quite that much truck!

[missychrissy]

I have a hard time with calling my kids out if I suspect they're lying. The only reason I think she might be is because she had been having troubles with it recently. I think it's worse to accuse a child of lying when they're not than it is to 'play the fool.' For a while at least. The truth generally comes out eventually anyway. So, I feel bad because I'm giving her the benefit of the doubt.

What he says about diesel engines is true. I think I was fed a healthy helping of that spiel at least once a week my entire life. My father was a mechanic when I was really little...co-owned a garage with his father and brother. And now my husband and brother are heavy into car stuff. :P

Having a truck is a real convenience. We've made the decision that Rich's has to go. It needs work and we don't have the money to put in it. Every day he brings up another 'reason' to have a truck. I finally snapped at him yesterday and said, "Well just keep the **** thing then" because I was sick of hearing about it and feeling bad. He backed off and admitted it does need to go. It's just hard for him. I know that, but gosh, I'm dealing with enough. I can't worry about his attachment to his darn truck too. I sold my first convertible that my father bought me 2 years ago due to money reasons. He can't tell me I haven't ever sacrificed.

[Gwenn]

:hugs: Sorry, Chrissy. I know it sucks. And I understand about giving her the benefit of the doubt.

[missychrissy]

I'm sorry. I'm so anxious and I'm getting crabby. I got to get my head out of my ass about the whole old house thing because I cannot stand myself like this. I'm certainly not going to be this miserable till February!

[Gwenn]

:hugs: I know we all come here to get stuff off our chest, so let it out.

[Gwenn]

Okay, so DH took the truck to the dealership and asked them to inspect it before he bought it. There were some things wrong that he had fixed and we brought it home today. He just went outside and realized the tail light isn't working - after he paid for an inspection and repairs at the dealership. Seriously, that pisses me off. He could get pulled over for that.

[missychrissy]

wtf? I think he should call them and tell them about it. Technically, if he had gotten pulled over for that immediately after getting an inspection they could jeopardize their inspector's license. At least, that's how it is in NY. That helps limit the amount of garage's that are willing to do a 'lick-and-stick'

[Gwenn]

I don't know if there is an inspector's license here - there might be, but I don't know all that much about it.

[The10Eels]

wow... busy ladies in here lately!!!

Kate -- I think we did make the connection last year that we shared a birthday, but I had forgotten. Thank you for reminding me!!

AND OMG! I found my theme song for tomorrow (would have been B and my anniversary) The Band Perry -- Miss You Being Gone.

The last line of the song says "Thank God You're Gone" and I started cracking up at work! Another part says "I miss you like drama queens..............something................. Braces on prom night" HILARIOUS!

[daylilies]

Okay, so DH took the truck to the dealership and asked them to inspect it before he bought it. There were some things wrong that he had fixed and we brought it home today. He just went outside and realized the tail light isn't working - after he paid for an inspection and repairs at the dealership. Seriously, that pisses me off. He could get pulled over for that.

Wow!


wow... busy ladies in here lately!!!

Kate -- I think we did make the connection last year that we shared a birthday, but I had forgotten. Thank you for reminding me!!

AND OMG! I found my theme song for tomorrow (would have been B and my anniversary) The Band Perry -- Miss You Being Gone.

The last line of the song says "Thank God You're Gone" and I started cracking up at work! Another part says "I miss you like drama queens..............something................. Braces on prom night" HILARIOUS!

Sounds cute, LOL

[missychrissy]

I really need a massage. I'm so tense I feel like my shoulders are up by my ears. Rich found a good knot on my back last night but when he started to work on it I felt nauseous.

[AmeriBrit]

Ouch, Chrissy, that sounds painful.

Just saw your post in TTC, Mandy! Wishing you the best!

My SIL wants me and my MIL to go with her to get a fish pedicure. They're all the rage here. Is that popular in the USA? MIL is scared to go since she thinks the fish will try to eat her toes. Lol. I'm curious to see what it's like.

[AmeriBrit]

Double post

[missychrissy]

I've heard about the fish pedicure. Tell MIL not to worry. It tickles!

I watched something on TV about it once. I can't remember if they were showing a place in the US that offered that or not. I often watch things that let me know what's going on in other countries, so it's possible I saw it on something like that.

[3andMe]

I think they do them in Japan or somewhere. I saw it on a show once, too. I've had fish nibble my toes and I agree, it's kind of tickly and pleasant.

[girlwonder]

Interview in 10 minutes! Hope my house looks clean, my studio is unsalvageable, but I will chalk that up to "artistic temperament"! I wonder if there will be a way for me to post it after it airs?

Wish me luck, friends!

And thanks, Myles - it isn't patience with the eggs - I think it is my meditation. Without them I might be nuts.

[Ky'sMom]

Sorry, I'll have to go back and respond to other posts later. I saw this one from Mandy and had to put in my 2 cents.



Years ago I had too much time on my hands mid-day and watched too much Court TV. One of the cases I watched beginning to end was of an early 20's man that walked into the restroom of a park and came up behind a young boy (8-10?) and slit his throat while he was standing at the urinal. His mom was standing directly outside the door.

I was horrified, of course, and ever grateful that I had girls. Now, I have a boy and I can promise you that Conner will not be going in any public restroom alone. Well...at some point I'll have to let him but most definitely NOT at 8. I'll try to find a family bathroom, or a bathroom that just has 1 toilet in it, but if I can't then people are just going to have to deal.

Had to mention that I agree with this. Ky is 9 and I rarely let him go into public restrooms by himself, he can go with a friend/relative around his age or a little younger, but not by himself. He still goes into the ladies room with me, and I wait for him. I admit it does embarrass him.

There was a story here in the news a couple years ago where an 8 year old boy was raped by a 15 year old boy in a public bathroom at a grocery store. Ky was around 6 or 7 at the time and I was considering letting him go to the bathroom by himself then but now I am thinking 10 will be the magic age. I sometimes let him go when I know there is no one else in the men's room but he also knows that I am not big on "gender bathrooms" anyway and I will go into a men's room. Sometimes when he doesn't want to go to the ladies room (there are too many ladies) I will go in the men's room with him and wait. I mean they don't have anything I haven't ever seen before anyway, so what's the big deal.

Erin

[missychrissy]

:vibes: Good luck! I hope you can post it, I want to see!!

[Ky'sMom]

Forgot to add, Gwenn, I think those cabinets are through and I would just go ahead and get new ones. That way you won't have to think about them anymore and it would be one less thing to do in the future. I know cabinets are expensive but I would look around and go to different warehouses or outlets centers and see if the price could be lower. Most people I know go to Ikea for a cheap kitchen or to Lowes or Home Depot but I would try to go to an outlet type of place. Luckily we have a lot of places around here that will beat any competitor's price for the same products so I would try to check around and get the best deal possible.

I would like to replace our counter tops, though I don't like our cabinets, they are decent, but we have really cheap countertops and even though I am pretty cheap in other areas, I don't like cheap quality items for my home.

Home repairs/purchases are so daunting. We were considering buying a new house next year because DH wants more room for his crap, and it would be nice to have a bigger yard, but the housing market is so bad right now and we know we won't be able to sell our house and I don't want to risk renting it out and having someone destroy it. So I am thinking of turning our crawlspace into a finished basement, that would probably be 30K or more because I would want the best company possible to ensure a warranty (especially for moisture leaks as the crawlspace is already leaky and we would have to get it waterproofed).

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

Interview in 10 minutes! Hope my house looks clean, my studio is unsalvageable, but I will chalk that up to "artistic temperament"! I wonder if there will be a way for me to post it after it airs?

Wish me luck, friends!

And thanks, Myles - it isn't patience with the eggs - I think it is my meditation. Without them I might be nuts.

Good luck Katy!!

Erin

[missychrissy]

...I am thinking of turning our crawlspace into a finished basement, that would probably be 30K or more because I would want the best company possible to ensure a warranty (especially for moisture leaks as the crawlspace is already leaky and we would have to get it waterproofed).

Erin
Our basement at our old house leaks like a sieve. Jessica asked if we could put a bedroom down there for her but I told her that's just not feasible in the immediate future. The costs of digging out and resealing a basement are astronomical, even if you do the work yourself.

She said she'd buy a ShamWow. :laugh: She's such a character!

[missychrissy]

On a hopeful note (I hope!), Rich was approached by one of the owners of his company about taking over as group leader in his department. He already fills in when the current one isn't there. They like his work, told him he has integrety, and have met with him twice this week about it. They gave him some company booklet about being a group leader.

The downside is that as far as Rich knows, they don't intend on firing the current group leader, just demote him. And leave him in the same department. He's verbally abusive and has temper tantrums on a nearly weekly basis. Rich is a little concerned about how that's going to play out.

[Bridget]

My hackjob:) I keep finding more pieces to cut. It was to my shoulders before i started. Step away from the scissors! :laugh:
Whenever I see pictures of myself I can't believe how...tired I look. Makes me want to go lay down.
http://i51.tinypic.com/1ibho3.jpg

[Ky'sMom]

Our basement at our old house leaks like a sieve. Jessica asked if we could put a bedroom down there for her but I told her that's just not feasible in the immediate future. The costs of digging out and resealing a basement are astronomical, even if you do the work yourself.

She said she'd buy a ShamWow. :laugh: She's such a character!

That is really funny! A ShamWow LOL :laugh:!

Our crawlspace is pretty much already dug out and it doesn't get a whole lot of water so I don't think it would be too horrible to renovate it, but I am always hesitant in spending that kind of money, we would have to take out an equity line to do the reno and I hate adding more bills to our finances.

My hackjob:) I keep finding more pieces to cut. It was to my shoulders before i started. Step away from the scissors! :laugh:
Whenever I see pictures of myself I can't believe how...tired I look. Makes me want to go lay down.
http://i51.tinypic.com/1ibho3.jpg

I think it is a cute cut, and I also don't think you look all that tired, a little, but not much.

Erin

[demigraf]

bridget - I'm not just saying this to flatter you, you look really great. I love angular cuts, probably because my face is so round and my cowlicks so crazy that I've never had hair that could behave that way and look good with my face. The cut accentuates the pretty shape of your eyes. And I think you did a good job with the cut. You are probably more critical of your work than anyone would notice.

chrissy - I'll keep my fingers crossed for you and Rich too. BTW, do ShamWows really work like the infomercials say they do?

You guys know that the word "basement" is practically a foreign language here in California, right? I think it's 99% slab or crawlspace over here, at least along the coast (right Lydia?). I am always amazed when I hear that people have all that extra square footage that they could use to practically double the space in their house.

I've never thought that a crawlspace could be dug out, Erin. I wonder if that would be an option for us if we ever moved back to our house in So Cal.

DH & I had a really good talk last night. I'd called him from work and apologized about the awful thing I'd said. Then after we put Bodhi to bed, we sat and talked for 2 hours (thank goodness the couches finally arrived after 1 month on order; it woulda sucked if we had to have that talk from the floor, but I digress). He's a reasonable guy, and I love him. We still have issues with the way we work together, but I came away from our talk feeling like we both really want to work on us in earnest. Plus, he conceded to all my points on BF-ing. He won't try to impose a schedule anymore and won't pressure me to wean until we both think B is ready to "walk away" from it, so how can I be upset?

Another thing that's sort of funny and I'm so glad we talked about: we both had thought the other was trying to shield Bodhi from watching the boy-boy kiss on Glee. We were watching our DVR, and I had asked DH seconds before the kiss (I'd read about) if he was comfortable with Bodhi seeing it. He had took my question to mean I doubted it was right for Bodhi to watch it. So he thought he was taking my cue when he turned Bodhi's head away from the TV for the kiss. We'd both been walking around disappointed in each other, thinking the other had handled it wrongly. We both actually agree that we want Bodhi to be exposed to all types of couples early on in life (not that Bodhi understood a thing he was seeing while he was in the room, because the TV is so high up and he was on the floor playing with his trains).

On a related note, I'm really annoyed at the right-wing, conservative response to that J Crew ad. http://www.thedailyshow.com/watch/wed-april-13-2011/toemageddon-2011---this-little-piggy-went-to-hell My friend started a Facebook event to paint your toes pink this Sunday. I will be doing my toes for the first time in like, 2 years.
:)

[Cosmosmom]

Mandy, I think that the cabinets have to go. But I wouldn't put in really nice ones either if going to be renting.

The idea of a crawlspace is interesting to me. I don't think that I have ever seen one in person before. I have always had a basement except the townhouse I rented right before we moved to the house. I hated not having a place to go in a tornado warning! I like having a basement.

So last night I told DH that I was thinking about an elliptical for at home again. I have talked about this for years but we didn't have space for one. Now we do...our basement is pratically empty and since there are two big windows down there, it does have some natural light. And he didn't totally freak out and say can't afford it and no right away. He wasn't thrilled. And he did say that if I had one, he would nag me hardcore about actually using it. But I think that I would. It's the one thing besides swimming that I actually didn't hate doing. I don't really like walking all that much (like a stroll in the mall or down the block is fine but yeah otherwise I find it boring unless the weather is about darn near perfect).....not into biking. Swimming isn't much of an option. It will probably take him a few more months to get used to the idea.....and if we saved up and used amazon.com points, it would take a while to get a decent chunk of that. But than he would have to put it together and he hates doing that. So I will see if I can trick him tonight go look at a few in person at a place where delivery and assembly is an option.....we will be on that side of town anyway looking at JoAnn's scrapbooking section.

[daylilies]

Speaking of basements I really hate mine! Our w/d is down there and I hate doing it. I can't stay down there longer than a minute without feeling like something's watching me. It seriously gives me the creeps. It's unfinished and you're right it costs an arm and a leg to even just to seal it and put real walls up and make it look less like a dungeon.
I love your picture Bridget! You look great. I think you have a really nice face structure.
I found the prettiest dress (I think) for pink night on the cruise. I really like the style. But now I have to drive an hour to return the other one I got that I didn't like so much :(
Does anyone know where I can get a short (not mini but a few inches above the knees) denim skirt?

[Gwenn]

I have to admit I have never heard of a fish pedicure! Although I've had small fish nibble at my feet when wading and it is sort of tickly so I can see it might be a pleasant thing. Didn't know it was something you could pay for, though!

And Ashley, thanks for posting in my TTC thread! :wub:

Erin and Chrissy, those are good points about the restroom. I guess I had never realized it was that bad. So sick that we have to worry about these things and I understand why you feel that way.

Bridget, the cut is cute! And you look great. A little tired, but honestly, you should look tired with all you do.

Myles, I'm glad you and DH are seeing eye to eye about things. It's good to talk.

I'm glad everyone thinks the cabinets need to go. I really think they're beyond saving, even the bases. Especially if we try to rent this place - nasty cabinets would take away significantly from what we could charge per month I would imagine.

[Ky'sMom]

I have heard of people digging out crawlspaces that were only 3 feet high initially. It is amazing what can be done. We have a newer house though (built in 2005) so our crawlspace is rather high, it is about 9 feet tall so we can stand up in it, but it has a dirt floor and is basically just a cave under our house. We store things down there and use it basically as a shed.

I had never heard of a crawlspace until moving to the south. Where I am from everyone has basements, I never knew you could have a house without one, I just thought all foundations were basements.

The native southerners we know consider our crawlspace a basement because it is so big and you can stand in it. But there is no actual door to get into it from the house, you have to go outside and the door to get into the crawlspace is only like 3 feet tall, so you have to stoop down to enter. I don't know if I would want to seal up that door and just have an entrance from the kitchen to the crawlspace in a renovation or reno the yard as well and make an actual door outside and an entrance from the kitchen. We have a storage room off the kitchen that we could use to make a staircase down into the crawlspace.

If needed, we will get some people to dig out the door ourselves to save money. From what I have researched, the digging and waterproofing is the most expensive part and we could take a couple months and dig up part of the yard under the patio for a door here is a pic of the door (sorry so huge), you can barely see it but it is on the right with a padlock on it. DH was building a fence at the time, he did a great job but our backyard needs a lot of work:
https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/10329_1150015153689_1326902978_30416133_5411265_n. jpg

[Gwenn]

Oh, yeah, we don't have basements here in AZ either. I remember when my uncle moved west from NY he wanted to put in a basement and the builders thought he was insane - that was in New Mexico where I think their style is pretty similar to here. I agree, how nice to be able to double your square footage. We can't really build up, either, because hot air rises and it costs so much to cool an upper floor. Most houses here are single story but you do see some 2 stories, mostly in wealthy areas. Very different architecture here.

I was shopping recently and I think I saw a denim skirt at White House Black Market, but it might have been shorter than you were thinking, Kate. If you really like the dress, go for it!

[Gwenn]

We do have a crawlspace but it is literally that - you have to crawl in. Because our house is so old DH says it is gross. He's been down there and says there's spiders and all kinds of nasty stuff. There is no way I'm going down there. We had some wiring done and the electrician had to go in to do some of the wiring and he was really uncomfortable. He had to get some sort of protective thing that covered all his clothes to wear when he went in. I felt bad for him because I could tell he didn't want to do it.

[daylilies]

Oh I already got the dress for pink night, but I was thinking a denim skirt for 80's night. I went to a cute accessories store the other day and got an idea for 80's night. DH thinks it's too random, but what does he know? LOL
Yes, I do think those cabinets need to go!
I go with Josh to the bathroom all the time except he had this phase where he didn't want anyone to come in with him so I made sure there was nobody else in there and I let him go.

I came across a weird thing the other day-I was in Old Navy and outside the dressing rooms there was a little area set up with some toys. I thought that was sort of bizarre. If nobody was keeping an eye on who was coming and going, it seemed like someone could walk off with your child. Josh wanted to play there so I let him for a couple minutes while I tried on a dress, but I felt really nervous about it and ended up asking him to come in the room with me.

[Gwenn]

I wouldn't have batted an eye to see a boy Josh or Conner's age in the restroom, though. I expect that. And that's creepy about the play area.

[daylilies]

Oh, and those toe nibbling fish sort of creep me out. It bothers me to think that they're eating my toe funk.

[Cosmosmom]

Was the old navy dressing area both men and women? I could see if two adults were shopping with a kid but only one was trying on things.
DH feels that outside the dressing rooms, they should have a TV playing football and comfortable chairs for the men. He's a pretty good sport shopping with me....and likes places where they have seats right near the dressing rooms since unless something is awful (or something like bras), I usually come out and show it to him. He's good at confirming my opinion either way about what is flattering on me and what is not.

[Cosmosmom]

I saw the fish thing on a TV story. I would NOT do it but mostly because I have really ticklish feet....so much that even a massage, I generally have them skip the feet and by that point I'm really relaxed. So no kind of pedicure for me.

[daylilies]

Yeah, they just have a few dressing rooms in a row that anyone can go into.
I never take DH clothes shopping with me. I can't really make good decisions with someone else there.

[Gwenn]

DH will sometimes go into a store with me but he's really impatient and if I want to try things on he thinks I'm insane. So I don't usually bring him along when I shop, although sometimes I do.

We did go to the mall yesterday - I mentioned about the restroom story. He told me later he was uncomfortable when I was gone and started to become overwhelmed by all the sounds and things on the wall. He was totally fine while I was there but when he was alone it was too much for him. So I suspect I won't be leaving him anywhere for a while. I wonder if I need to take DH in the restroom with me?

It's nice to know I make him feel safe, at least.

[Bridget]

Mark always wanted me (back when we used to have money to shop) to show him the clothes I was trying on. I only would if I liked it and he's get so annoyed.:laugh:
Can we get this thread moving along so my pic isn't at the top of the page?:P

[missychrissy]

Bridget-you look adorable! :wub: I'd let you cut my hair!

I have no idea if ShamWows work or not as we've never had any. Jesi is always pulling things like that off the cuff and cracking me up.

Most houses here have basements, but a few have crawl spaces. I've seen houses literally jacked up so new foundation/basement walls can be put in. I hope ours wouldn't need that. :shock:

[missychrissy]

DH will sometimes go into a store with me but he's really impatient and if I want to try things on he thinks I'm insane. So I don't usually bring him along when I shop, although sometimes I do.

We did go to the mall yesterday - I mentioned about the restroom story. He told me later he was uncomfortable when I was gone and started to become overwhelmed by all the sounds and things on the wall. He was totally fine while I was there but when he was alone it was too much for him. So I suspect I won't be leaving him anywhere for a while. I wonder if I need to take DH in the restroom with me?

It's nice to know I make him feel safe, at least.
:laugh: I was thinking that as I read your post.

I do hope it gets easier for him soon.

[daylilies]

Hahah Bridget. Spam away!
Mandy, my heart goes out to your husband :( I can't imagine the kind of culture shock he's going through now that he's back home.
I often think about doing something to work with military people who have come back home..but i don't know what I could do to help. Do you know of any volunteer services I could do? I would like to work on a support hotline or something but I don't know if they require some kind of psychology background for that.

[Gwenn]

:laugh: I was thinking that as I read your post.

I do hope it gets easier for him soon.

He just needs time, I think. He's dealing really well with things.

[missychrissy]

Rich & I went shopping together and I was trying on bikinis while he went to find some sneakers. I took a pic of myself in the mirror, changed, and when I was out of the fitting room I sent it to him. He came running...it was quite funny. We rarely shop together.

That was the night we went to dinner and I drank a pomegranate martini at Olive Garden. Man was it potent! I couldn't drive so we killed time in a store.

[Gwenn]

Kate, I'm honestly not the best person to ask because I'm so far away from DH's battalion and he's determined to do everything himself. Do you know Robin0402? Her husband is an active duty soldier and was wounded in action and she's a member of tons of support groups. She would be a great person to ask who you might get involved with. She's given me a ton of advice that I might not have gotten through this without.

[daylilies]

Wow! I usually get the peach sangria at Olive Garden. It's yummy.

[daylilies]

Thanks Mandy, I'll try to contact her.

[Cosmosmom]

Mandy, I really just cannot even imagine how hard it must be. It is shameful that there are not more support services. It is nice though that being with you seems to really help.

[Cosmosmom]

Ok still not the next page yet.....

So what should I have for dinner? DH agreed to scope out some ellipticals with me tonight and he's also going with me to JoAnns for scrapbooking supplies.....two things he doesn't want to do so he asked if we could eat out. Except he wants me to decide what we should get.
There's Olive Garden, Mexican, Chinese......

[missychrissy]

I vote Olive Garden :P Try the pomegranate martini.

[Bridget]

Personally, I choose mexican every time.

[Gwenn]

Actually there is a ton of support out there. There are lots of information sessions and there's actually a training that Robin told me about that I can send him to for 3 weeks that's supposed to help with PTSD. My issue is DH's attitude. He basically has the opinion that he's been through all this before and can handle it, and that some of what he has been trained to be alert for (such as being more aware of his surroundings) is a GOOD thing and he doesn't want it trained out of him by a workshop. I'm just patient with him. He HAS been through this before and if I saw anything that really worried me I'd insist he get some professional help. I honestly think it's a good thing that he can tell me straight out of something overwhelms or overstimulates him. He recognizes it, he's not internalizing it, and we can both make adjustments for the situation. In many ways it's a LOT like dealing with my kids with autism who have sensory processing issues, to be honest, so I feel like I'm pretty well equipped to deal with it. But like I said, if I saw any emotional outbursts or anything like that I would get support for that right away. It IS out there and it's something the military is really bending over backwards to be supportive over because of what has happened in the past.

[demigraf]

*** posting again to move thread to next page for bridget :P ***

I get overwhelmed by malls too, Mandy. I do feel for your DH.

It's funny with all this talk of dresses and malls because I just so happened to be in one last night. I ran in to get some fro-yo and got sucked into a dress shop. So, ok, I totally broke my promise to myself to only sew my own clothes this year.

At some point last year, I made 2 pronouncements to myself: 1) I was not going to add any more florals to my wardrobe. 2) I had decided that, after years of trying out styles I thought looked good on other people (along the lines of vintage, goth and Brooklyn/Berkeley "hipster") I came to the conclusion that the look that's most "me" is Ethnic Bohemian, as influenced by my coloring, attraction to wild color palettes, and love of travel. It was a really big deal to me that I discovered that about myself. Like, I thought it was a step towards knowing myself more.

So what do I find when I go into the mall? Forever 21, loaded to the hilt with non-floral, ethno-Bohemian prints (like Ikat patterns, which I'm mad about at the moment) in all these bright colors. I try not to shop that store because it makes me feel old and I heard about their worker abuses about 10 years ago. But I ended up caving and buying 3 dresses yesterday (which I'll probably wear over and over again for the next 10 years or so). It was so exactly the style I'd decided was me last year, that now I'm suspicious that my big moment of revelation about my "personal style" was nothing more than the subtle influence of Vogue magazine and billboards, now trickled down to mass-produced clothes in mall shops.

**smacking self on forehead**

[demigraf]

Ha! and I did it! I turned the page!! :D

[Gwenn]

Oh, and on dinner - I never eat Mexican outside of the Southwest. I don't even like the Mexican food in Phoenix. It's pretty much Tucson or Mexico as far as I'm concerned! So I wouldn't get the Mexican - but I love Mexican food!

[Ky'sMom]

Personally, I choose mexican every time.

Me too. I'm way too predictable.

Erin

[missychrissy]

I can't limit myself to just one style of clothes.

Or maybe I do. Jeans/t-shirt. But when I want to 'dress' I have everything from elegant dresses to hippie-like maxis. And Barbie-doll skirts-very short and tight. :P

[Gwenn]

It was so exactly the style I'd decided was me last year, that now I'm suspicious that my big moment of revelation about my "personal style" was nothing more than the subtle influence of Vogue magazine and billboards, now trickled down to mass-produced clothes in mall shops.

This is hilarious! LOL!


Ha! and I did it! I turned the page!! :D

You didn't for me? Is that possible?

[Gwenn]

You all need to come out here and have some real Mexican food!

[daylilies]

When we go out to eat I usually pick something that has basic seafood. Just a nice salmon or swordfish steak is really good to me. It has to be a good seafood place though, not like a steak house that slapped a salmon filet on the menu as an afterthought...
I'm still figuring out what looks good on me. I was overweight for the past 3 years (and a good bit of time in my mid 20's too) and i just never really cared to get clothes that suited me. Now that I have somewhat of a figure I'm trying to feel out what flatters me. I have a small chest but big thighs and hips, I think (and a big butt LOL) I love mid length dresses that kind of flare out, and have an empire waist or a sash right under the chest to accentuate it. I also like flowy dresses and skirts. But I have no idea what any of these styles are called, so I don't know how to look for them online or ask for them in stores.

[Gwenn]

My wardrobe is basically filled with all the same things. I dress down for work because I work for kids, although in the new position I don't get as physical with the kids so I tell myself I'm going to make an effort to dress more professionally. Right now it's mostly jeans, cords, and tops. I don't wear basic t-shirts but I have a lot of tops say from Loft and the like. I just recently decided I needed some dresses and skirts in my life and am going to make an effort to get more, but I feel really boring most of the time. I do have a weakness for bohemian sort of tops - anything flowy with an ethnic sort of embroidery or print and I will buy it right away.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh, and on dinner - I never eat Mexican outside of the Southwest. I don't even like the Mexican food in Phoenix. It's pretty much Tucson or Mexico as far as I'm concerned! So I wouldn't get the Mexican - but I love Mexican food!
LOL Well I'm guessing that being up in Northern WI (furthest south I have been is Vegas on the western side of the country), I am probably eating mostly highly americanized mexican food. :laugh: Not Taco Bell....but I do love a place called Burrachos (like Chiptole but I think better). And we have another place locally that the owners are from Mexico and they serve a LOT of seafood and they claim to be "authentic". I don't like seafood but they have yummy drinks and a few non-fish dishes that are good.
BUT I was thinking of making tacos myself tomorrow......

[missychrissy]

We had tacos last night at home. Yum!!

I have a question. It'll probably sound stupid but....if a local restaurant is ethnically owned, wouldn't their food be superior? I mean, I can understand not liking chain Mexican restaurants, but if real Mexicans ran a store in upstate NY, wouldn't their food taste authentic?

I'm not well traveled and I want to know. :P

[daylilies]

I think a restaurant can be crappy even if the owners are from the country whose food they make. I watch enough of Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares to know, LOL
It's easy to cut corners and make crap. But yes whether it's accurate or not, I tend to assume if the cooks and owners are from the country whose food they're making, that it's going to be better.

We have hardly any ethnic food in our area. We can go to Providence or Boston for that, but it's sort of a pain to drive for half an hour to an hour just to go to dinner. DH isn't really into ethnic food anyway, although he has come a long way since I met him.

[Cosmosmom]

Wow, I have never put much thought into my style. I basically like comfortable that works with my shape. It's so hard because I'm one size on top and another on the bottom so I need tops that are more forgiving and do not band at the bottom and instead flare a little bit. I have small shoulders but DDD's....waist isn't bad considering I'm plus sized but my butt and hips are definitely quite big. Button down shirts basically never work on me. Pants are a nightmare to find. Most of my shopping is Kohls, Penny's, Lane Bryant (though not lately as they have been sucking), Fashion Bug, Shopko. Fashion Bug has been good to me last couple of trips.
I most either wear various tops for work and black dress pants (today I have a gray sweater with 3/4 length sleeves and the dress pants).....or I'm in black knit yoga pants at home. I do have a pair of jeans I wear once in a while but I'm usually at work or at home. My winter uniform is sweaters....summer short sleeve tops. Oh and I have a pair of black capris for the summer when grocery shopping and such.
Guess that is my theme....black pants. LOL I really just try to find things that fit well and don't make look fatter than I really am. And I like jewel tone colors in tops. I have a lot in the blues, purples, magenta, maroon tones.

[missychrissy]

I think a restaurant can be crappy even if the owners are from the country whose food they make. I watch enough of Gordon Ramsey's Kitchen Nightmares to know, LOL
It's easy to cut corners and make crap. But yes whether it's accurate or not, I tend to assume if the cooks and owners are from the country whose food they're making, that it's going to be better.

We have hardly any ethnic food in our area. We can go to Providence or Boston for that, but it's sort of a pain to drive for half an hour to an hour just to go to dinner. DH isn't really into ethnic food anyway, although he has come a long way since I met him.

Good point. Rich watches that show too.

[Gwenn]

It depends on whether they can get a hold of authentic ingredients to cook with. My brother says there is are some locally owned Mexican restaurants near him in Beacon that are owned by real Mexicans and he says the food is excellent - and he knows his Mexican food. Then again, he still goes on a Mexican food frenzy like a starving man every time he comes back here to visit. I think it all comes down to fresh, authentic ingredients in the end.

[Cosmosmom]

I have a question. It'll probably sound stupid but....if a local restaurant is ethnically owned, wouldn't their food be superior? I mean, I can understand not liking chain Mexican restaurants, but if real Mexicans ran a store in upstate NY, wouldn't their food taste authentic?

I'm not well traveled and I want to know. :P

That would be my thought too. I have traveled some but when traveling I don't like to eat much or eat different things so I tend to stick to chains like subway. :laugh:

I do know that say in Minneapolis there are some good Indian places.....I have only had Indian food twice I think but my BFF's DH is from India so I figure that he would be a good judge.....

[Gwenn]

And I think Kate is right, when there is no competition from other "ethnic" groups the owners can cut corners without the majority of the clientele realizing the difference. I vividly remember my sister and her friends trying a place near her in NY/CT called the "Tucson" restaurant and the guacamole was basically sour cream with green food coloring. Not even close.

[Gwenn]

With Mexican food, my first question would be the tortillas. If they make them fresh, perfect. But if they're in NY or WI and purchase the tortillas there is no possible way the would be good. Authentic tortillas spoil very quickly and you couldn't ship them, and the ones you often see in the grocery store have additives to prevent them spoiling. And they taste nothing like the way a tortilla should taste. Luckily, we can buy locally made ones in the groceries here. They're amazing.

[3andMe]

Myles, I have ikat all over my house. Maybe I influenced you, and not the Vogue? I went on an ikat shopping spree when I was in Bali 5 years ago. I have about six of them hanging on the walls and another 25 or so in my built-in, just waiting to be rotated through.

We are surrounded by hundreds of Mexican restaurants here, with native owners and chefs, and I can guarantee you even with authentic ingredients, not all of them are good or even fair. It really depends on what they do and how they do it. Same as when I go to Mexico. Some of the food is good, some is bad.

[Gwenn]

We are surrounded by hundreds of Mexican restaurants here, with native owners and chefs, and I can guarantee you even with authentic ingredients, not all of them are good or even fair. It really depends on what they do and how they do it. Same as when I go to Mexico. Some of the food is good, some is bad.

Well, that of course is true for all restaurants, ethnic or no. There are plenty of just plain bad restaurants in the world!

[Cosmosmom]

http://www.mannyscocina.com/

This is the place we were thinking of. Course by the time I have had chips and salsa and some strawberry margarita....a lot of my dinner needs to be brought home! I do love the fresh hot chips and sala.

Though at this point I might be leaning more towards chinese takeout....gives us leftovers for tomorrow. Still have probably at least 4 hours to decide though!

[Ky'sMom]

Okay, totally out there, but I forgot that this weekend is Easter.

Someone asked me if I'm leaving work early. I am. They asked if it was because of Good Friday, and I'm like, "what's so good about this Friday? You mean cause it's payday?" I am so slow sometimes.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

Okay, totally out there, but I forgot that this weekend is Easter.

Someone asked me if I'm leaving work early. I am. They asked if it was because of Good Friday, and I'm like, "what's so good about this Friday? You mean cause it's payday?" I am so slow sometimes.

Erin
:laugh:

Someone did that to me too today. Even after last night talking with my MIL and she was saying how crazy the stores where and I was like why? Doh!

[AmeriBrit]

Y'all have been a chatty group today! I'll try to catch up.

LOL @ Erin. Friday's always good.

There's quite a big Mexican population in AR now, so there have been a few Mexican restaurants open up locally. I'm looking forward to a nice chimichanga and some refried beans when we get out that way in 4.5 weeks!!!

I think my dress style is kinda surfer/skater girl type thing. I buy lots of clothes from Billabong and those type places.

Bridget, your hair looks great! You always look so pretty in the pics that you post on here.

Someone mentioned peach sangria earlier in the thread. I drank all of my rose wine, but I'm thirsty now....all we have in the house is cider...I might just have to crack open a can.

[demigraf]

I actually realy like Billabong, Ashley. I tried to copy something of theirs with a tshirt reconstruction I did. It was cute, but I gave it away because I felt too old for it.

Erin "what's so good about it?" :laugh:

Lydia, it could very well have been your ikat influence. Ikat is my new paisley. LOL. Where are you living now anyway? I would love to show you my favorite new burrito joint (with Niman ranch meats and awesome tamales with peas in them). Do you trust the twins at the ocean without another grown up to help you? A beach/burrito day would be fun!

[missychrissy]

Someone asked me if I'm leaving work early. I am. They asked if it was because of Good Friday, and I'm like, "what's so good about this Friday? You mean cause it's payday?" I am so slow sometimes.

Erin
:laugh: You just made my day!!

It's supposed to be the calm before the storm. I got out of the store faster than I thought and everything is put away for Bobbie's party. I'm waiting for people to start arriving in about 30 minutes. :P

Unfortunately, many of her friends can't come for various reasons. She was going to have 10-15 friends last Sunday, but she was sick. This weekend they're on vacation, visiting their fathers, or celebrating the holiday and can't make it. I feel so bad for her. It's like her last bday party as a 'kid' :(

She's fine-it's me that's sad about it.

[daylilies]

I have to tell you guys something really cute Josh said today. He's been really good with all this shopping I've been doing. He's on vacation this week so I've been dragging him along. He tells me all the dresses look pretty on me and it's a great ego boost.
We were at the store today and he said "If you don't find anything you like, you can just be yourself!" LOL I guess he noticed I never wear dresses!
So when I bought the dress today he said "I want you to wear this with me too, not just when you go on v-cation" (what he calls vacation)
I hope she has a nice party anyway Chrissy :) So is she feeling all better now?

[missychrissy]

Kate, Josh just melted my heart! What a little sweetie! :wub:

[Bridget]

I love billabong, dresses especially. I used to love to hit up the clearance rack there in Hawaii. I actually just scored a really cute billabong jean jacket at my local goodwill and that's kind of rare in my po-dunk town.
My style is definitely hippy-ish. I don't shop dept stores ever. Just resale for me. In fact, last night when I drove to the city to eat with my dad and brother I got there early, parked at my brothers and him and I (and Sawyer) just walked around State st, my old stomping grounds. It's a no driving street of stores and bars. They have little hole in the wall vintage resale shops that I used to get every single thing I owned. I saw so many cute dresses but I couldn't try anything on with Sawyer tied on and I don't know wtf size I am right now with this post baby belly.

Thanks for complimenting my hair. I really need to fix the back so I'm going to ask dbf to do it tonite. I think this makes me pretty dam low maintenance but he just laughed out loud at me and mumbled something about high maintenance because he brought me a "glass" of wine in a mug and I told him a mug of wine is only for around a campfire and I want a wine glass in my living room. :laugh:

Today I took care of the sibling of one of my daycare kids. I've told y'all about him before. He is on the autism spectrum and I truly like him and think he's a pretty cool kid but he really wears me out. I was really surprised earlier this week when his mom asked me if I would consider home schooling him part time next year because she says his teachers act openly annoyed with him and they are crushing him spirit. :ohno: She said she knows I'll teach him with love and that's all she wants for him. I told her I have to really think about it. I don't know if I have room on my plate for that and I won't take him on and possibly short change him. I would need some definite guidance on dealing with his behaviors. And I'm already feeling pretty overwhelmed working with Savana....

Last night I went to a homeopathic pharmacy and picked up some Bach's flower remedy solutions for Savana. I am very hopeful that these will help her. Some of them are geared specifically towards obsessive, intrusive, compulsive thoughts. I sat with her this morning and explained what flowers each solution contained and what each one is supposed to help with. Today she would come to me and say, "Mom, can I have some of the one that helps me forget about washing my hands?"
She had a great day but I think it's too soon to tell if they are helping.

[daylilies]

Aww Bridget. I'm glad she's doing better.
That's too bad about the autistic boy. I hate that the teachers act annoyed with him. I don't know any personally, but it seems like kids on the spectrum are very special and wonderful kids.
I've always been very low maintenance. All this shopping and makeup testing is exhausting. LOL
I think doing DIY haircuts is not necessarily low maintenance, but wise. I have no idea how to cut my hair so I always go to the cheap places and ask for very simple cuts. I got a body wave once and didn't even like it and I hated sitting there for so long.

[Gwenn]

Bridget, if you are considering taking on teaching a child with Autism I suggest it's something you think long and hard about. I actually think you'd be great at it, but it's not a decision to make lightly. I can give you some great resources and people to talk to about it.

I highly suggest reading this article (http://www.autismuk.com/?page_id=104). It's a little out of date, so some of their statistics are wildly off (written before the broader recognition of higher-functioning individuals on the autism spectrum) but the core that it discusses is true and important. This paragraph really sums it up and also sums up why I think you might be good at it:


Because the organically-based problems that define autism are not reversible, we do not take “being normal” as the goal of our educational and therapeutic efforts. Rather, the long-term goal of the TEACCH programme is for the student with autism to fit as well as possible into our society as an adult. We achieve this goal by respecting the differences that the autism creates within each student, and working within his or her culture to teach the skills needed to function within our society. We work to expand the skills and understanding of the students, while we also adapt environments to their special needs and limitations. In effect, what we attempt to do for them is what we ourselves might wish for when we travel in the foreign country: while we might try to learn some of the foreign language and gather information about the customs of the country, such as the monetary system or how to find a taxi, we would also be very glad to see signs in English, and have guides who could help us through the process of buying a train ticket or ordering a meal. In the same way, educational services for students with autism should have two goals: 1) increase their understanding; and 2) make the environment more comprehensible.

[Bridget]

I think doing DIY haircuts is not necessarily low maintenance, but wise. I have no idea how to cut my hair so I always go to the cheap places and ask for very simple cuts. I got a body wave once and didn't even like it and I hated sitting there for so long.
Yeah, but in my case, what I could have done is make us load up the kids and go back to the girl who cut my hair (who is a client of his) and have her do it the way I wanted while he takes care of the kids in her living room and brings Sawyer to me when he needs to be fed. Instead I was like, eff it. I will do it myself.

[Bridget]

Bridget, if you are considering taking on teaching a child with Autism I suggest it's something you think long and hard about. I actually think you'd be great at it, but it's not a decision to make lightly. I can give you some great resources and people to talk to about it.

I highly suggest reading this article (http://www.autismuk.com/?page_id=104). It's a little out of date, so some of their statistics are wildly off (written before the broader recognition of higher-functioning individuals on the autism spectrum) but the core that it discusses is true and important. This paragraph really sums it up and also sums up why I think you might be good at it:
Thank you! If I do this, i will indeed be needing your insight.

[Gwenn]

One thing to bear in mind, I have a good friend and mentor who has been working in my field for 30 years now and she told me she feels that she still doesn't know enough about the subject despite all the continuing education and professional development she's been taking over the years. It's a huge subject, but without question the most rewarding thing I've ever done.

[daylilies]

Bridget, I don't know if you'll know anything about this but it kind of sounds like the kind of thing Savana would say--not sure if you'd know anything about this either, Mandy--
Josh tells me he has voices in his head that tell him to do something (usually something naughty, or something I've already said he can't do, like if he's not allowed to play on the computer that day). He says he tells the voices in his head to stop, but they won't. Sometimes I'll see him knocking on his head with his fist and he'll say he's trying to get the voices to stop.
Do you think it's just him dealing with wanting to rebel or should I be worried? Because I am...

[girlwonder]

Okay, guys! Here's the interview (http://weareaustin.com/austinlive-story/?nxd_id=139506). It was nerve-wracking, but I think it turned out okay. I don't think I look like to much of an idiot.

[daylilies]

I didn't know you were a stand up comedienne!
I just can't even wrap my head around how you do those eggs...how you keep track of what's going to come out what color and all that. If you mess something up, is it easy to make it look like it's not a mistake, or do you have to start over?

[Gwenn]

Bridget, I don't know if you'll know anything about this but it kind of sounds like the kind of thing Savana would say--not sure if you'd know anything about this either, Mandy--
Josh tells me he has voices in his head that tell him to do something (usually something naughty, or something I've already said he can't do, like if he's not allowed to play on the computer that day). He says he tells the voices in his head to stop, but they won't. Sometimes I'll see him knocking on his head with his fist and he'll say he's trying to get the voices to stop.
Do you think it's just him dealing with wanting to rebel or should I be worried? Because I am...

I'd say it's normal to an extent - for example imaginary friends are normal and Josh is developmentally at the point where children are learning to figure out where the line is drawn between reality and fantasy. Then again, if it bothers him (and if he's knocking on his head I'd say it bothers him) I'd ask a professional opinion about it. They might not be concerned about it but if they are, he can get help sooner rather than later. Hope that makes sense.

DH is dragging me back out to the store so I'll watch your interview later, Katy. So glad it went well for you.

[daylilies]

Thanks Mandy!

[3andMe]

I will try to look at your interview later, Katy. I'm actually just doiing a quck feed of S. while being bad hostess to my mom, before making her dinner.




Lydia, it could very well have been your ikat influence. Ikat is my new paisley. LOL. Where are you living now anyway? I would love to show you my favorite new burrito joint (with Niman ranch meats and awesome tamales with peas in them). Do you trust the twins at the ocean without another grown up to help you? A beach/burrito day would be fun!

I actually take all three to the beach by myself fairly frequently, although it's a nearby beach usually. I'm more worried about taking them to an eating establishment by myself. :laugh:

Still living in the same place. We decided not to sell. It was looking too dismal.

I do love burritos.

[Gwenn]

OMG - I don't know what the problem my family has with holidays, but I am sick of it. I just have to rant in here ... apologies in advance.

DH let me know well before he came home that he wasn't going to want to be around big groups of people, family gatherings, etc. when he first came back. I totally get that and respect it, and I told my family that. They also said they understood and respect that.

I spent last Friday/Saturday with my mom and she said absolutely nothing to me about Easter. I assumed they wanted to give us space for him to adjust to being back so didn't invite us over for the holiday, which I appreciate. So Wednesday night, very late (like 11:30) my mother emailed an invitation for DH and I to spend Easter with them. Said it would just be her and my dad, it would be laid back, they would cook whatever we wanted, etc. So I asked DH yesterday if he wanted to go, and he said no. I respect that, and I thought about it, and decided I'd still like to go spend the day with my family. So today I told him I decided to go without him, and he wasn't upset. He thought about it and decided he wanted to come with me, he was fine if it was just my parents. Okay, great.

So I called my mother and now she's annoyed with me because I didn't get back to her sooner about it. She commented that if I'd waited a couple hours more she would have invited my aunt instead. WTF? She waited until late Wednesday night to even invite us, and she's annoyed we didn't respond sooner than Friday? Why is it she thinks she can wait until the last minute for everything and then get an immediate response, especially knowing that I'm dealing with Kevin just coming home from combat and not wanting to be in unusual/uncomfortable situations? Is that really that much to ask? If she wanted to invite my aunt, why didn't she just invite my aunt? I am so pissed off by that.

[Bean]

Katy, you're so cute!!

[daylilies]

I'm sorry Mandy. It seems insensitive of her to do that.

[Bridget]

Yeesh, I thought you were going to say you weren't going and she was upset. But you are going and she's upset. Can you win?:hugs:

[daylilies]

By the way Mandy, if you have to apologize for ranting, then so do I...and I don't want to do all that apologizing...so don't apologize. :)

[3andMe]

Mandy, did you see how I said I celebrated religious holidays in the other thread? Like everyone else, with family tension and drinking? You've already got one half of the equation.

Just sayin'

And yes, how insensitive!

Katy, you are so adorable! And I hate to tell you this, but I'm going to expect you to be funnier now. I hope all of this publicity does great things for your bottom line.

[daylilies]

Haha, my family doesn't drink a lot (except one aunt who has a couple glasses of wine and gets a little emotional) but we do have some tension. DH is envious though because none of us outright hate each other.

[girlwonder]

Katy, you are so adorable! And I hate to tell you this, but I'm going to expect you to be funnier now. I hope all of this publicity does great things for your bottom line.

Thanks, Lydia! :laugh: I hope so, too. The MSN thing brought in a $300 commission yesterday, so whatever happens is fine!


Katy, you're so cute!!

Aw shucks, Cass! thanks :wub:


I didn't know you were a stand up comedienne!
I just can't even wrap my head around how you do those eggs...how you keep track of what's going to come out what color and all that. If you mess something up, is it easy to make it look like it's not a mistake, or do you have to start over?

It's really practice. Mistakes happen and every once in a while I have to just toss the egg. Most of the time, though, I can incorporate a mistake into the design. And sometimes I just let a mistake stand - the eggs are so detailed that a lot of times I am the only one who notices!

I did stand up in the late '90's to early 00's. I did pretty well and got noticed by industry, moved to LA and hated it so much I just quit and moved home. I'm still quietly funny (usually sitting down these days) at home.

[daylilies]

That is so cool. Any youtube videos of your stand up out there? LOL

[girlwonder]

Im sorry your mom is being a pill, Mandy.

[girlwonder]

That is so cool. Any youtube videos of your stand up out there? LOL

No, and if there were I would not tell you! It was before YouTube and the Internet were so ubiquitous.

[3andMe]

I'm still quietly funny (usually sitting down these days) at home.

:laugh:

Okay, you upped your funny ante.

[AbbeysMom]

You people move too fast for me. 3 pages?! I can't keep up.

I saw the video Katy, you and your eggs looked/sounded awesome. :)

Sorry about DH being lame, Myles. And sorry if my empathy comes too late... as you saw from my text the ILs are in town, which takes up all my time.

Mandy, are you going to her house for Easter then? I'd be worried she already invited other people or something from that strange response she gave you. :ohno:

Happy Bunny Day friends! We'll be dying eggs tomorrow and I'm excited. Anything interesting I can try? Marbling? Vegetable dyes?

ETA: I remembered l have a have a question for everyone in here. What do you think about intuition? Believe in it? think it's superstitious? Let me know.

[Gwenn]

Mandy, did you see how I said I celebrated religious holidays in the other thread? Like everyone else, with family tension and drinking? You've already got one half of the equation.

Just sayin'

LOL! I suppose one of these days I'm going to have to learn to drink!

You guys are right, I can't win.

Katy, I loved your interview, and your eggs. Yay for the $300 commision! And you know, there's plenty of pre-you-tube era video on you-tube. There might be some of you out there!

Bridget, here's another article for your reading list. Actually, two articles:
http://www.specialed.us/autism/verbal/verbal11.html
http://www.specialed.us/autism/nonverbal/non11.htm

Look at them both - I think this child is verbal, but the paper on nonverbal kids has great information, too, and some of the nonverbal communication aspects are also relevant for verbal kids. Those papers, plus the article I linked first, I think should be required reading for anyone who interacts with children with autism.

[Gwenn]

ETA: I remembered l have a have a question for everyone in here. What do you think about intuition? Believe in it? think it's superstitious? Let me know.

Personally, I believe that intuition comes from the ability to recognize patterns in events (made possible by enough knowledge to have internalized the pattern). I definitely believe intuition is real and valid, and I don't think a supernatural belief is necessary to explain it.

I told DH now that I don't want to go but so far I'm uncomfortable cancelling. I'll keep you posted ... I'm not sure what I'll do at this point but I don't want to spend an uncomfortable afternoon right now.

[3andMe]

My marbled eggs (http://lyds.org/) turned out really nice. I would recommend to try several different cups with different colors instead of several colors mixed in one cup, though.

I think a lot of what people call intuition is based on emotion, especially fear. I think some intuition can be based on actual subconscious signals that might add up to create a very plausible feeling on which to base action. It's hard to tell which is which.

For example, they've done studies that show that expert nurses are far more reliable at determining which babies in the NICU are going to develop a GI complication and deteriorate than any lab test or any other measurement. The nurses can't tell you why they think the babies are going to go downhill--they just say "they don't look right," but with any description other than this vague term, not color, not activity level, not anything else, there is no commonality. The nurses are the best predictors. The same has been demonstrated with experts in other fields, like firefighters, or pilots. They can't articulate what it is, the tens or thousands of little cues that give them a danger signal or tell them to evacuate or take whatever evasive maneuver or call for help right then, they just know that something's wrong. Some people might call that intuition, but it's a mixture of skill and experience but at a level that is not conscious.

On the other hand, I have patients come in for procedures all the time that are terribly nervous and just know that something is wrong or that something bad is going to happen, and everything ends up fine and they walk out completely happy and healthy. It's just nerves, and because they're having a test and undergoing something unknown, they start thinking about the worst-case scenario.

That's just two examples. So I sort of believe in it, but I don't think it's intuition.

[missychrissy]

Bridget, I don't know if you'll know anything about this but it kind of sounds like the kind of thing Savana would say--not sure if you'd know anything about this either, Mandy--
Josh tells me he has voices in his head that tell him to do something (usually something naughty, or something I've already said he can't do, like if he's not allowed to play on the computer that day). He says he tells the voices in his head to stop, but they won't. Sometimes I'll see him knocking on his head with his fist and he'll say he's trying to get the voices to stop.
Do you think it's just him dealing with wanting to rebel or should I be worried? Because I am...

I think it's hard not to worry, but even with 'crazy' being in my genes I wouldn't necessarily worry overmuch about it at this age. It's likely he's just struggling between 'that little voice' in his head that we all have and obeying the rules. Even as adults, sometimes we have internal arguments with ourselves.

That said, it's not outside the realm of possibility that he's really hearing something, so it's good you're taking notice of it. Being observant and looking for other cues are all you need to do at this point. At least, that's how I'd handle it and I have a family history of mental illness.


Okay, guys! Here's the interview (http://weareaustin.com/austinlive-story/?nxd_id=139506). It was nerve-wracking, but I think it turned out okay. I don't think I look like to much of an idiot.

That was so cool! Rich watched with me. We're both very impressed with your eggs!


Why is it she thinks she can wait until the last minute for everything and then get an immediate response, especially knowing that I'm dealing with Kevin just coming home from combat and not wanting to be in unusual/uncomfortable situations? Is that really that much to ask? If she wanted to invite my aunt, why didn't she just invite my aunt? I am so pissed off by that.

:hugs: I honestly don't think people fully understand how difficult it is to return from combat. They say they do, and they probably want to, but they don't. She had no right to get bent at you.


By the way Mandy, if you have to apologize for ranting, then so do I...and I don't want to do all that apologizing...so don't apologize. :)

Puh-leeze. I'm the biggest whiner in this room!!

[Gwenn]

Some people might call that intuition, but it's a mixture of skill and experience but at a level that is not conscious.

My professor said almost exactly that once when someone asked about the role of intuition in clinical work. He said that intuition is deep knowledge and experience.

[missychrissy]

I remembered l have a have a question for everyone in here. What do you think about intuition? Believe in it? think it's superstitious? Let me know.
I believe in it...it's one of those totally unexplainable things that makes no sense to me. I wish I could remember specific examples from my own experience, but I'm so tired right now that I'm drawing a blank.

But I do know I've experienced a 'feeling' about something that later panned out in a way that made me think I had an intuition something was going to go wrong. It had nothing to do with experience or daily routine stuff. Usually, it was doing something non-typical for me...so one could say it was a case of nerves, but I've done lots of things that were non-familiar and didn't have an intuitive premonition like sensation...so who the heck knows? :laugh:

[daylilies]

I think it's hard not to worry, but even with 'crazy' being in my genes I wouldn't necessarily worry overmuch about it at this age. It's likely he's just struggling between 'that little voice' in his head that we all have and obeying the rules. Even as adults, sometimes we have internal arguments with ourselves.

That said, it's not outside the realm of possibility that he's really hearing something, so it's good you're taking notice of it. Being observant and looking for other cues are all you need to do at this point. At least, that's how I'd handle it and I have a family history of mental illness.




Puh-leeze. I'm the biggest whiner in this room!!

Thanks. Do I have to go through his pedi? I'm afraid they'll think it's just normal.
Oh right, I think I whine a lot. Not just here but all over the board. Don't tell me you don't want me to STFU about the cruise and all the shopping I have to do. I remind myself of first world problems (ie the people who whine about things that aren't really problems like having too much to eat or having to decide between things to buy)

[daylilies]

I believe a lot about intuition but I'm too tired to really coherently go into it now..maybe I will revisit it tomorrow.

[Ky'sMom]

My professor said almost exactly that once when someone asked about the role of intuition in clinical work. He said that intuition is deep knowledge and experience.

I believe the same about intuition and don't think that it is anything supernatural.

Katy, you were great on the video and the eggs are just amazing!

And Gwenn, like Bridget, I thought you were going to say she was upset because you weren't going either. How can she be upset when you are coming? Self-centered much??? I would say.

I am happy I have never really experienced any holiday drama with my family. They save all the drama for the rest of the year and are usually their nicest during holidays, which is usually the only time I see them, so it works for me.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Thanks. Do I have to go through his pedi? I'm afraid they'll think it's just normal.
Oh right, I think I whine a lot. Not just here but all over the board. Don't tell me you don't want me to STFU about the cruise and all the shopping I have to do. I remind myself of first world problems (ie the people who whine about things that aren't really problems like having too much to eat or having to decide between things to buy)

I don't think you talking about your cruise, shopping, make-up, etc is whining and I haven't yet wanted you to stfu!! I hope you have a great time, and that you share stories with us. I can live vicariously through you. :P Seriously, you deserve to have a good time.

[missychrissy]

I don't think we have any particular family tension during the holidays. Ours is pretty much spread out through the whole year evenly. :P

Actually, aside from a certain group that I avoid, most of us get along amazingly well.

[3andMe]

I love reading First World Problems. I read a forum sometimes. Here are some of the latest posts.

"​I want to rearrange my room in a minimalist style, but I have too much stuff."
"I made a typo on a comment and somebody made fun of me."
"My microwave beeps one too many times when it's finished cooking and it's really annoying"
"My smart phone is wider than my old phone and brushes against my earring while I talk, making an annoying jingling noise."
"I went to a professional sporting event, but the view wasn't as good as it is from my HDTV."
"My mom got a Droid X and keeps asking me how to use it"
"My power went out tonight due to bad weather; I'm having to post my facebook statuses on my 3g phone via candlelight."
"I asked for a pound of pepper bacon at Whole Foods, but when I got home I realized they gave me hickory smoked."

[AbbeysMom]

I love reading First World Problems. I read a forum sometimes. Here are some of the latest posts.

"​I want to rearrange my room in a minimalist style, but I have too much stuff."
"I made a typo on a comment and somebody made fun of me."
"My microwave beeps one too many times when it's finished cooking and it's really annoying"
"My smart phone is wider than my old phone and brushes against my earring while I talk, making an annoying jingling noise."
"I went to a professional sporting event, but the view wasn't as good as it is from my HDTV."
"My mom got a Droid X and keeps asking me how to use it"
"My power went out tonight due to bad weather; I'm having to post my facebook statuses on my 3g phone via candlelight."
"I asked for a pound of pepper bacon at Whole Foods, but when I got home I realized they gave me hickory smoked."

love this. I want to know where this forum is, since I have lots of problems that sound exactly like these.

[Bridget]

Oh man, Lydia. Those posts make me want to cry and laugh at the same time. How totally absurd.

I was just watching the movie For Colored Girls and had to turn it off after a very disturbing scene involving children and now I don't think I will sleep.

[Gwenn]

Kate, you aren't whining at all about your cruise and the shopping. I'm also enjoying the vicarious thrill of your trip so post away.

Lydia, the first world problems are hilarious. I have to admit sometimes I feel like I sound like that myself ... I hope not.

My dad sent an email about Easter and DH thinks my dad must be trying to make up for my mom on the phone.


For Sunday, I have so far a large chicken breast for Mandy from 17th
St. and wild Alaska salmon. Kevin, do you like salmon? if not let me
know what you would like. I propose baking them with a light
apricot-ginger glaze we have recently discovered. Goes wonderfully on
chicken too if you like that Mandy. Also homemade Ciabatta bread, two
vegies, a salad, and whole orange-apple couscous. Morello cherries
jubilee for dessert! If that doesn't strike your fancy, I can find a
slice or two of homemade Boston Creme Pie in the freezer.

LOL ... I think DH is right. It sounds amazing, except my dad's cooking usually doesn't taste quite the way it sounds. Makes me sound like a first-world problem complainer.

[Bridget]

Your dad seems like a sweetheart. My mom could be unreasonable at times as well and my dad was ever the peacekeeper.

[Gwenn]

Funny thing is, when I was a kid it was usually my mom who was the peacekeeper. But they can both be amazing.

[Gwenn]

Bridget, I promise I'll stop after this but here is another link (http://www.autismuk.com/?page_id=210). I've never read it before but I just had to read the whole thing even though it's long. It was written by a man with autism and it is his attempt to explain to people without autism what autism is like. He did a really, really good job - and this is apparently a man who uses a computer to communicate because he can't communicate well through speech. Lots of this I know because I've learned it academically, but seeing it through his eyes really blew me away.


When I learned to do sign language and use the computer in 1992, I was surprised that other people wanted to know how I think. I always wanted to learn how everybody else thinks because there are so many of you and I wanted to make myself like you so I could fit in your world.

But I learned that people wanted to know about me too, and when they learned how I thought and why I did things, they did things that weren’t as confusing to me and I could understand them better. I learned that I could stay like me and still fit in your world, a little. So I decided it is better to stay like me and fit in a little, than become not like me and fit in a lot.

So amazing...

[AmeriBrit]

Katy, those eggs are gorgeous. Even though you live in TX, I never imagined you with a Southern accent. lol. I think I always think of people with the Midwest accent. DH laughs at me when we go back to AR because he says I go back to a Southern accent and I abandon it when I get back home to England.

Mandy, I hope you sort something out with your parents. My DH only has his mum, dad, sister, brother-in-law and 2 nephews and 1 niece as family here, so family gatherings are always pleasant for the most part (well, there all about the kids now since there are 5 in such a small family).

Travis is excited about the Easter bunny coming to our house tomorrow; he's seen a Hot Wheels Easter Egg we've bought him and has been asking for it for a week and I told him he could have it tomorrow when the Easter bunny takes it to his room. Easter is all about chocolate in the UK.

Oh, and I agree with everyone about the intuition thing. I think it is a lot of subconscious thought and deep knowledge.

[daylilies]

Thanks guys...I know I tend to run at the mouth about the new kids and I know if you're not into them, it's really not as exciting to you as it is to me.
I have no real life friends so I openly admit I can be kind of an attention whore on here.
Bridget, sorry you saw a disturbing scene in that movie :( Thanks for the warning.
Mandy, your dad is funny. He's being a little overenthusiastic, but that's sweet. And his food sounds good (even if it doesn't come out quite right)
Love the first world problems! I've only come across a couple of them on random websites.
Is anyone watching Game of Thrones? It looks really good so far, but pretty brutal. It's better than Camelot. Camelot is good but Arthur is portrayed to be this whiny little teenager. I hope he grows up fast!

[3andMe]

love this. I want to know where this forum is, since I have lots of problems that sound exactly like these.


Beware, this is 99% males, and they're not gentle. I like to read it just for the amusement factor. I'm pretty sure that many of these posts are not serious.

http://www.reddit.com/r/firstworldproblems/

The newest one today?

"I need to take a shower but my maid is still cleaning it."

My favorite one ever?

"My family and I have to travel for more than 50 miles to find clean, safe water-"

but then continued below, in the actual post, it continues

"parks. It is so hard when you just want to have a fun family day at a waterpark and you have to drive so far to find one that doesn't make you wonder how chlorinated the water is."

Mandy, your dad's menu sounds quite tasty. I'm glad he's reaching out a hand.

[The10Eels]

my mouth literally started watering when I read "whole orange-apple couscous"

I just discovered couscous and its like a whole new addiction! We made some the other night that had garlic, and chicken seasoning, and garlic and herb feta mixed in... and something else that I can't remember, but it was amazing!

[daylilies]

Mmm, I love couscous.

[girlwonder]

Katy, those eggs are gorgeous. Even though you live in TX, I never imagined you with a Southern accent. lol. I think I always think of people with the Midwest accent. DH laughs at me when we go back to AR because he says I go back to a Southern accent and I abandon it when I get back home to England.

That's funny, because I don't think I have much of an accent at all! :laugh::laugh::laugh:

Wouldn't it be interesting to hear the voice other people have for you? Because you all have distinct voices in my head, which I am sure have nothing to do with how you really speak.

[missychrissy]

"My mom got a Droid X and keeps asking me how to use it"
:laugh: I'm afraid this sort of thing annoys me to no end and I know I've whined about it. Not my mom, but the faculty at work. They buy these smart phones, can't use them, then get irritated with me when I have to play with it or look up on Google how it's supposed to work. They think that if you're a 'computer person' that means you just automatically know about all the gadgets that come out on the market. I even had one call and ask me about her car stereo last week. And yes...I knew the answer.

I think we all have these little things in life that really aren't problems or complaints, but they make us :eyebrow:

Bobbie's party was nice, but her friends couldn't come. She had 3 out of a dozen or so. It's mostly due to the holiday weekend, so many had other plans already. She was ok about it, it was me that was bummed for her sake.

I need to check out that web site. I'm sure I'll see myself in there!

[missychrissy]

That's funny, because I don't think I have much of an accent at all! :laugh::laugh::laugh:

Wouldn't it be interesting to hear the voice other people have for you? Because you all have distinct voices in my head, which I am sure have nothing to do with how you really speak.
Or hear everyone speak, like we did you. I'm sure we'd all be surprised. :D

I was a little taken aback by the southern accent too, but I always am. I went camping with KimJ (a member on here) and she lives in VA. The first time I heard her speak I was surprised at her southern accent.

It's so funny driving down 81S. You stop at various restaurants or gas stations and suddenly everyone is speaking southern. I still haven't found where that line is. :lol:

[Bridget]

Sawyer has a cold. :(
I am nursing him in the living room while Savana and Kai have just announced to me they are cleaning the floors in the hallway, kitchen, and bathroom. I can't see them from where I am. The only thing I know for sure is they have a bucket of soapy water. Should be interesting. :laugh:

[missychrissy]

:lol: Bridget! You're much braver than I! But I think it's awesome that you're allowing them to attempt it. You're such a good mom :wub:

[Ky'sMom]

Oh man, Lydia. Those posts make me want to cry and laugh at the same time. How totally absurd.

I was just watching the movie For Colored Girls and had to turn it off after a very disturbing scene involving children and now I don't think I will sleep.

I thought the same thing about those posts Lydia!

I have yet to see that movie but I acted out scenes of the original play in college. I haven't let myself watch the movie because I feel it will ruin the play for me, plus I want to re-read the play again before I watch it, from what I remember it would be very difficult to make that play a movie. A lot of my college associates have told me that it is very similar to the play and I am hopeful about that, but I have also heard that new characters were created to make the story more cohesive. I feel that movies ruin a lot of plays (especially books) so I have to give myself time before I watch a movie based on one of my favorite books or plays. I usually end up very upset after watching the movie. I still don't like The Color Purple because it is nothing like the book IMO, even though I actually do like the story of the movie, it is not the book so I feel that the name of the movie should have been changed. But I am very weird when it comes to literature like that.

Erin

[missychrissy]

I was going to comment about the natural remedies you bought for Savannah and I forgot. I hope they do work for her. How are things today?

[Ky'sMom]

I confess I was watch the Early Show on CBS and they were making a rack of lamb and I got inspired to actually make an Easter dinner. I have never made one before but I am now considering going to get a rack of lamb.

Erin

[Bridget]

:lol: Bridget! You're much braver than I! But I think it's awesome that you're allowing them to attempt it. You're such a good mom :wub:
When they think they are helping, I don't have the heart to tell them different.
Kai "helped" me make the waffle batter this morning too by adding the vanilla. They were very vanilla-y.
:laugh:

I thought the same thing about those posts Lydia!

I have yet to see that movie but I acted out scenes of the original play in college. I haven't let myself watch the movie because I feel it will ruin the play for me, plus I want to re-read the play again before I watch it, from what I remember it would be very difficult to make that play a movie. A lot of my college associates have told me that it is very similar to the play and I am hopeful about that, but I have also heard that new characters were created to make the story more cohesive. I feel that movies ruin a lot of plays (especially books) so I have to give myself time before I watch a movie based on one of my favorite books or plays.

Erin
It was well done and did sort of have a "play" feel to it. I have just become totally incapable of watching bad things happen to children. It plagues my thoughts/dreams for too long after.

[Bridget]

I was going to comment about the natural remedies you bought for Savannah and I forgot. I hope they do work for her. How are things today?
Thanks for asking! Yesterday and today have been great. I am really going to be pleasantly surprised if these work this well. I do think, though, it's a combination of her feeling like she has something to help her control her thoughts and the drops actually helping her stress level. But really, I am noticing several scenarios where I am bracing myself for her to have an outburst and she doesn't. Even Mark said something last night when I told her no and she said, "Ok." :shocker:

[Bridget]

I confess I was watch the Early Show on CBS and they were making a rack of lamb and I got inspired to actually make an Easter dinner. I have never made one before but I am now considering going to get a rack of lamb.

Erin
I've never prepared lamb. I have leg of lamb in my freezer right now from a local farmer that she threw in with my beef order and I don't know what to do with it. It's on the bone so I imagine myself making a soup someday. But it will be for my dad and dbf. I don't care for the taste of lamb.

[missychrissy]

Thanks for asking! Yesterday and today have been great. I am really going to be pleasantly surprised if these work this well. I do think, though, it's a combination of her feeling like she has something to help her control her thoughts and the drops actually helping her stress level. But really, I am noticing several scenarios where I am bracing myself for her to have an outburst and she doesn't. Even Mark said something last night when I told her no and she said, "Ok." :shocker:
I remember one of my teachers told us a lot of what works about medication, particularly otc, was faith. He said if he gave us 2 M&M's and told us they'd help us sleep, if we really believed they would help us sleep, then they would.

Maybe that is what's going on, but imo that would be a good thing. It would indicate that there really isn't anything serious. I'm so glad that they're helping her, however they're helping her. Whether they actually are causing some change in her or it's simply a belief thing.

[missychrissy]

I've never had lamb. Or goat.

[daylilies]

My husband had a combination lamb/beef burger at a restaurant one time at my suggestion. He had never had lamb and I thought the combination would be a good way to introduce it. It made him throw up. :( I don't know if the lamb was bad or what but I don't think I will be able to get him to try it again, LOL. He can't even stand the smell :( I love it.

Poor Sawyer! That's nice that the kids are doing the floors for you though.
DH made plans to go to Boston on Easter (he didn't realize it was Easter when he booked the tickets to the Big Apple circus) so I am off the hook for any big Easter dinner. We usually do ham.

[Gwenn]

Is anyone watching Game of Thrones? It looks really good so far, but pretty brutal. It's better than Camelot. Camelot is good but Arthur is portrayed to be this whiny little teenager. I hope he grows up fast!

I haven't watched either yet but I read the book Game of Thrones when it came out. It was very brutal, but well written and I enjoyed it. I remember the author ex boyfriend hated it and ranted about it - he didn't care much when other people had more successful books. But I did like it. I'm sure I'll watch eventually but like Erin, I tend to feel movies ruin the books they're based from. The movie version of My Sister's Keeper made me furious because I felt like the producers missed the entire message of the book.

[AmeriBrit]

Lamb tastes a lot like beef but isn't as good in my opinion. I'll eat it but prefer beef or pork.

[daylilies]

I haven't watched either yet but I read the book Game of Thrones when it came out. It was very brutal, but well written and I enjoyed it. I remember the author ex boyfriend hated it and ranted about it - he didn't care much when other people had more successful books. But I did like it. I'm sure I'll watch eventually but like Erin, I tend to feel movies ruin the books they're based from. The movie version of My Sister's Keeper made me furious because I felt like the producers missed the entire message of the book.

I saw bits and pieces of My Sister's Keeper. Pretty much the whole thing I think. I couldn't stand the mom's character, and the idea of making a child go through those things to keep another child alive made me sick, but maybe I'm missing the message too.
We just tried to go see Hop and Josh didn't want to stay. It was a little boring. I have a little crush on James Marsden though :)

[Gwenn]

I saw bits and pieces of My Sister's Keeper. Pretty much the whole thing I think. I couldn't stand the mom's character, and the idea of making a child go through those things to keep another child alive made me sick, but maybe I'm missing the message too.
We just tried to go see Hop and Josh didn't want to stay. It was a little boring. I have a little crush on James Marsden though :)

You have to read the book. The message isn't in the movie! And I didn't like the mom's character, either. That's part of the message.

[daylilies]

I started one of Jodi Picoult's books (not that one) and I didn't like how it started with a couple characters and then jumped to a completely different bunch of characters. I get confused when that happens and I didn't give it much of a chance. Since I know the Sister's Keeper story (and it doesn't seem to have too many characters) I might give it a chance.

[Gwenn]

I think all her books switch between characters, but that's a good one. Give it a try.

[3andMe]

There is a HUGE billboard on my way home from work now, paid for by the local atheists group. It says:


The Rapture: You KNOW it's nonsense. 2000 years of "any day now"

Here is an article about it: http://www.insidebayarea.com/ci_17910516?source=most_emailed. Apparently it's in response to a bunch of billboards from an Oakland evangelical group predicting the rapture to come on May 21.

[missychrissy]

That should stir some hot debates Lydia!

[girlwonder]

:pokey:

My in-laws are in town and they were supposed to have JoJo sleep over at their hotel for the night but as usual they drank too much at dinner and my mil was having trouble walking home from the restaurant so I had to put my foot down and tell them no (not why, of course, because I guess that would be too rude :eyeroll:) I'm sure it would have been fine but I would have been worried all night about what-ifs.

So annoyed - could really have used the morning to sleep in! I hate dealing with people who can't control their drinking. Now they are disappointed, JoJo is disappointed and I am disappointed.

[Bridget]

:pokey:

My in-laws are in town and they were supposed to have JoJo sleep over at their hotel for the night but as usual they drank too much at dinner and my mil was having trouble walking home from the restaurant so I had to put my foot down and tell them no (not why, of course, because I guess that would be too rude :eyeroll:) I'm sure it would have been fine but I would have been worried all night about what-ifs.

So annoyed - could really have used the morning to sleep in! I hate dealing with people who can't control their drinking. Now they are disappointed, JoJo is disappointed and I am disappointed.
How thoughtless of them.:hugs:

[daylilies]

Aw, that is too bad Katy.
About the rapture billboard, I may not agree with the idea of the rapture but I'd hesitate to call it 'nonsense' because that IMO is as wrong as the religious people saying negative things about what atheists believe (or don't believe)
It's just what they expect us to do, and I'd rather say, you know what, nobody really knows what happens when we die, or when the world is going to end, so let's just agree to disagree.

[missychrissy]

Aw Katy, what a bummer :( You'd think that if they were going to have Jojo, then they'd keep a lid on the drinking.

[AmeriBrit]

Sorry to hear that, Katy. Sounds like something my parents would have done in the past before my mother gave up drinking.

Travis has just found the 3 chocolate eggs that the Easter Bunny left for him. We're off to Lotherton Hall later for a picnic and then coming back home for an egg hunt.

[3andMe]

Katy, I hope the rest of your weekend improves.

Rain here. This changes my planned playground expedition this morning and egg hunt this afternoon. Here is another view of our Easter egg tree. I like the polka dot ones the best.


http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n70/lydchapman/IMG_1292-1.jpg

I worked four days this week, instead of my usual 3, and it was tough. With a 3-hour total commute one of those days and a little overtime, and no time to do chores on days off, I felt like I was coming home and just going non-stop. On Wednesday I came home, made dinner, did the dishes, did a load of laundry, put it away, cleaned the cat litter, swept and mopped the floors, and cleaned the bathrooms. On Thursday, I got home half an hour before the twins' bedtime, so I only had time to make sandwiches for dinner. Still, I had to do another load of laundry because dh had gone through three changes of clothes that day. And dishes again. Dh is working on weekends, lately, so I'm not getting any chance to rest. I have all three kids by myself for fun and errands and showers, most likely.

I'm so tired. At least I got to sleep in until 5:30 today. Okay, this is the last time I'm going to itemize all the stuff I was doing every night after work last week.

[Inca]

Dang Lydia! You can come give me some motivation any time. I sit at home all day and cannot make myself budge off this dang chair. (well, sometimes I get up) :P

[missychrissy]

Your egg tree is beautiful Lydia. I'm sorry you're so busy. Will things slow down at all for you?

I'm currently in bed watching Lifetime, being lazy and waiting for dh to come home with the kids. He took them over to his mothers. The easter bunny hid baskets of candy around the house. I can't wait to see Conner find his. :D

[Bridget]

Lydia, I got tired just reading your post. I have to say that feels like every day around here. Nursing is my saving grace because I get to sit down. Dbf was really stepping it up for a minute there but he's been falling back lately. For example, this morning I was making waffles, bacon, eggs while he held Sawyer (at his computer, ALWAYS. Never 100% focused on the baby. I hate it). When Sawyer got fussy he came and gave him to me, standing in front of the stove, and went back to the computer.:indifferent:
I calmly and politely asked him if he could help me make breakfast but in my head I was cussing like a sailor.:pokey:

[missychrissy]

Poop Bridget, I really hoped that Sawyer's birth would be a turning point for your dbf. Did you ask him what's going on? Maybe he's just tired and instead of talking to you he's just withdrawing? I'm trying to be nice...I think if it were me at the stove when he brought the baby over, he would have heard a wrath of furry from me.

[3andMe]

Bridget, I hardly ever pay 100% attention to Soren (confession). I'm frequently multitasking. Most of the time when I'm on the computer he's with me.

[daylilies]

I think this stage is really hard for guys. The baby doesn't do anything, the guy doesn't understand the cries and doesn't know what the heck to do. (not trying to stick up for your dbf, but hoping that this isn't a permanent slacking off again)
You can't go out and throw a ball around with a baby, or teach him how to fix stuff, or even really play. Guys (at least the ones I know) feel useful when they can teach that kind of stuff.

[missychrissy]

That may be true Kate, but I think it should be obvious when the mom is already occupied doing something else that she can't easily do both. It would have been nice if he had offered to take over cooking breakfast while she tended to Sawyer.

Maybe that's expecting too much. :P Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Or maybe I'm easily annoyed although I don't like to think I am.

[Ky'sMom]

That may be true Kate, but I think it should be obvious when the mom is already occupied doing something else that she can't easily do both. It would have been nice if he had offered to take over cooking breakfast while she tended to Sawyer.

Maybe that's expecting too much. :P Sometimes I think I'm too picky. Or maybe I'm easily annoyed although I don't like to think I am.

I agree so I may expect too much as well, but I am also easily annoyed.

Luckily, even though my DH is PITA a lot of times, if he sees I'm busy, he will entertain the kids, especially Elle, who basically has him running all over the place. If she needs to use the restroom or needs help with something he won't bother me about it, but that took years of me telling him how much it annoyed me when he would do nothing. He still doesn't do a lot of things I think he should but I don't have to worry about him bringing a kid to me. If he does then usually something is wrong with the kid so it is warranted.

DH would rather play with kids (or bore them to death with one of his lectures) versus cooking or doing other chores.

Erin

[AbbeysMom]

Sorry Bridget. Maybe you could strap a baby carrier onto your dbf and hand him the vacuum.

[daylilies]

That's true. DH is bad with that too. He'll be supposedly keeping Josh occupied while I make dinner or something and Josh will keep running in and getting in the way.
We went to the circus today and Josh didn't like it. He liked it better than last year.
DH has this thing where he has to be insanely early for everything and we sat waiting at the circus for like an hour. Josh was already getting antsy just waiting so when the circus started, he got restless fast. I don't think we'll be going back for at least a couple years.

[Bridget]

Now that dbf has shown me he is capable, I expect more.
And I understand multitasking. I pretty much only use the computer while nursing these days. I feel like the little time he spends, he can take his hand off the mouse. He's got plenty of time to hang on the computer.
Or like y'all said, then cook breakfast. He does it sometimes so I know he understands what needs to happen for things to run smoothly. He just doesn't feel like it sometimes. Not feeling like it is not an option for me so maybe I am a little bitter about that. Which is my issue, not his, i suppose.

[missychrissy]

Waiting a whole hour must have been hard for Josh :( Heck, I have a hard time waiting that long!! lol

We went to Lowes to get cost estimates for things we want to do at the house and Conner didn't cooperate at all. He was running around the store and threw his dinosaur at us, but it hit a display instead. Rich said he was glad we weren't in the window section. :shock: Neither of us could get him to behave at all, so we ended up leaving.

I think Conner might have anxiety issues. If we talk about doing anything different, he doesn't want to do it. When school would come up before, he'd get really upset and insist he didn't want to go. When we went to registration, he fought about going but once he was there and saw all the little kids, he was happy and went with them without looking back at me.

The same kind of thing is happening about moving. He really doesn't want to move at all. I want to talk to him about it so he's not confused, but I hate making him so worried. He was afraid we were going to leave his toys, but assuring him we'd take them didn't seem to help. I'm sure once we move, it will be ok. But I wonder if I'm doing more harm than good by trying to talk about it. I don't do it constantly, but if something is going on and it seems like an appropriate time I'll say, "When we move _____."

He's been very resistant to getting his hair cut. He always has been. Usually Rich gets fed up and shaved it with clippers. I really don't want that to happen again, so my brother is planning on taking him tomorrow. We've mentioned getting his hair cut for weeks, and he always gets upset and says no. I know if I tell him he's going with Uncle Tim tomorrow, he'll get really upset and might even have a melt down in the morning about going to G'mas house. So...I'm not going to tell him. I think that if Uncle Tim just takes him along, he'll be ok about it especially since Tim is having his cut first. But I don't know. I hate springing things on him, but this is kind of a test to see.

I just don't know how to prepare Conner for changes without getting him upset. :(

[missychrissy]

Now that dbf has shown me he is capable, I expect more.
And I understand multitasking. I pretty much only use the computer while nursing these days. I feel like the little time he spends, he can take his hand off the mouse. He's got plenty of time to hang on the computer.
Or like y'all said, then cook breakfast. He does it sometimes so I know he understands what needs to happen for things to run smoothly. He just doesn't feel like it sometimes. Not feeling like it is not an option for me so maybe I am a little bitter about that. Which is my issue, not his, i suppose.

I'm sorry Bridget but I think it is his issue. As a grown up we all have to do things we don't feel like doing. I'd have a hard time not telling him that.

[daylilies]

Yeah, it is difficult to get Josh used to change, too. He loves plans and hates any disruption in what he has been told will come next, or if there is something outside the norm. I just try to warn him way in advance and give him something to look forward to. Have you tried a kids only hair place? We have a place called snip its that is supposed to specialize in kids who don't like getting their hair cut.

I have to make a lot of things like a game. Josh will wolf down his food if he thinks it's daddy's food. If dh teases him and says you're eating my chicken? Josh will giggle and eat it all.
I wouldn't make a big deal out of moving. When it happens it happens and he will probably miss the old place. Like I said, Josh still says he wishes we lived at the old place. We switched gyms months ago and he still talks wistfully about the old one (even though the new one is much better IMO). But it's like when you keep warning certain kids that they're getting a shot. It just makes it worse. Maybe that's the case with Connor.

[Bridget]

My aunt just posted this on facebook.


And remember: Obama is NOT a brown-skinned anti-war socialist who
gives away free healthcare. You're thinking of Jesus

:laugh: I like that.

[missychrissy]

Yeah, it is difficult to get Josh used to change, too. He loves plans and hates any disruption in what he has been told will come next, or if there is something outside the norm. I just try to warn him way in advance and give him something to look forward to. Have you tried a kids only hair place? We have a place called snip its that is supposed to specialize in kids who don't like getting their hair cut.

I have to make a lot of things like a game. Josh will wolf down his food if he thinks it's daddy's food. If dh teases him and says you're eating my chicken? Josh will giggle and eat it all.
I wouldn't make a big deal out of moving. When it happens it happens and he will probably miss the old place. Like I said, Josh still says he wishes we lived at the old place. We switched gyms months ago and he still talks wistfully about the old one (even though the new one is much better IMO). But it's like when you keep warning certain kids that they're getting a shot. It just makes it worse. Maybe that's the case with Connor.

That's just it, I don't want a haircut, moving, or suddenly going to school to be a great big surprise that confuses the heck out of him. But merely mentioning those things stresses him out. I stopped talking about moving...I figure we can bring it up again when we go to the house to open it up, turn on the electric, and start the clean-up process.

I'm not telling him he's getting a hair cut tomorrow. Judging how he was when he actually got to kindergarten registration, I think he would have been better off not knowing about it ahead of time, so that's what we're going to do about his hair cut.

He's like that about washing it too. It still takes both Rich and I to do it, and there's lots of tears and screaming. It hurts my heart, but I just cannot talk to him or get him to try anything. Not even try to wash my hair first. :(

[daylilies]

Aw :(
I don't know, it sounds like he's sensitive to something, but I'm not sure what it could be. I wish we could get inside their little minds sometimes.
Is it water on his face that he doesnt like, or just the whole act of washing the hair?

[missychrissy]

He doesn't like his hair touched at all. He won't let us brush it or anything. It's long enough now that most people mistake him for a girl when they meet him for the first time. It's to the bottom of his neck!

I was talking to Rich about it and I think that he'll be fine getting his hair cut. For some reason, talking about it makes him anxious but he has always been that way. Rich has shaved it 2x a year and he's gone to a barber shop before and was fine.

[daylilies]

I hope it goes smoothly!

[missychrissy]

Thanks. I hate making him do anything that upsets him, so I hope he has fun with it.

[daylilies]

Oh yeah, it breaks my heart whenever his little face crumples and he starts to cry :(

[Ky'sMom]

I hope Conner will have no issues with his haircut.

Elle is anxious about taking baths of all things. But that is actually something that seems to run in my family, a fear of water. I used to try to talk to her about it and give her detailed steps about what is going to take place, same as I do for Ky, but she doesn't care about any of that. I figure it is her age though. She REALLY doesn't like water on her head or in her face or in her ears. She will literally freak out. I now just don't say anything about it except to remain very calm while she is getting a bath and when she screams about water being in her face I tell her that I see it and it is just water and asks her does she want to blow bubbles LOL (I keep a bubble container in the bathroom). That doesn't work all the time but 50/50. She now only gets baths 3 times a week. It used to bother me and I used to think I was doing her a disservice by not bathing her every day, I do wash her face and hands before bed but I just don't want her to scream for the whole time she is taking a bath. She is getting better, but I figure that is just how she is about water. I used to be kind of like that but just got over it eventually. I have a nephew who used to be worse than her, he would scream when he heard the bath water running or when you even mentioned the word "bath." I couldn't believe it that he actually put his face in the water this past summer when we went swimming during his visit. Even his mom was amazed as he had never done that before. He is 9 years old.

Erin

[The10Eels]

I confess we had a great day. We had a communal easter dinner at my friends house, so it was her, her boyfriend, their three kids, my mom, me and the girls, and Randy (dbf) and his daughter. After dinner we went and played outside, blowing bubbles and flying kites. Here are a few pics... Adding links because the pics are bigger than I'd like, and I am too lazy to resize...

We got Crayola's washable colored bubbles.... They do wash, but boy are they messy to play with!!!

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30914650&l=6edd294208&id=64100559

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30914579&l=517da23bd0&id=64100559

http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=30914654&l=7dbd0d6705&id=64100559

[daylilies]

Great pictures Ash! Glad you had a nice day.
Josh hates water on his face. I want to get him swimming lessons this summer but I'm nervous about his reaction. I asked him if he wanted to learn how to swim and he said "Yes but only on top of the water, not under"

[Gwenn]

Chrissy, don't think I'm crazy, but I'm going to suggest you try something like a social story with Conner about the haircut thing. I just googled social story and haircut and came up with a ton of stuff - this one (http://goodfountain.wordpress.com/social-stories/haircut-social-story/) is pretty good although you'd want to change it a little. Basically, a social story explains what is going to happen, acknowledges what is stressful/uncomfortable about the situation, and suggests some positives that will come from the situation, all written in a positive way that describes what happens (instead of giving instructions about what to do). We use them a lot in therapy, but it just seems like this would be a great situation to try that. Moving is another situation you might want to try a social story for - and there are probably a ton of moving themed social stories also out there. See if it works - I learned about these as a therapy tool and remembered back to my childhood, my sister used to write "mouse stories" for me that were almost exactly the same. I think one was about a mouse with long whiskers who refused to get her whiskers cut, and kept tripping over them in ballet class. Kind of made me laugh.

[missychrissy]

Erin, we only make Conner take a bath once or twice a week. :shame: I think he's ok though. Like you, I'll wash his hands and face and obviously if he gets dirty playing outside then he gets a bath!

Ashley-:wub: your girls! They're adorable! Beautiful sky too. I'm jealous! It's done nothing but rain with some snow mixed in for 2 weeks (or more?) and it appears it's going to rain and t-storm all this week too. Boo.

Mandy-thanks for that! I never heard of social stories. I'll try them with Conner.

[missychrissy]

Binghmaton nor Ithaca seem to offer anything like what other places have for kid hair cuts. There's no special place with cartoon-like things to sit on, movies of kids shows, or anything like that. There are simply regular beauticians and barbers that offer cuts for children, and will give a lollipop after it's done. Conner doesn't like lollipops. :lol:

[3andMe]

The twins only shower about twice a week, too.

They did well with their first haircut going immediately after dh had his hair cut in the same place. I talked to them while he was having it done and then they had theirs cut.

I can only cut Ro's fingernails while he's asleep, though.

[Bridget]

We only bathe the kids 1-2 times a week here too in the winter. In the summer they get really dirty so we go as needed.

[Bridget]

Chrissy, I hope Conner does okay today. I found Savana to be similar in the way that if I warn her about certain things it just makes her emotional reaction that much more drawn out and it ends up escalating to a ridiculous level as she works herself up. Like, if I have plans to leave the house without her, I cannot let her know until I'm about to walk out the door or she will obsess about it all day long.

[AbbeysMom]

I feel like a jerk. I babysit for another little girl and the mom just tried to drop her off but she was runny-nosed and sneezy with "allergies" (no fever). I told her because Abbey had *just* gotten over pneumonia and her little girl had been in daycare all last week, that I thought I should watch her today. I hate leaving her without care (she's a WAHM) but seriously. I cannot have my baby get sick again so soon! :sad:

[daylilies]

I feel like a jerk. I babysit for another little girl and the mom just tried to drop her off but she was runny-nosed and sneezy with "allergies" (no fever). I told her because Abbey had *just* gotten over pneumonia and her little girl had been in daycare all last week, that I thought I should watch her today. I hate leaving her without care (she's a WAHM) but seriously. I cannot have my baby get sick again so soon! :sad:

I would have done the same thing.

Josh gets stinky in the genital area after a few days. I don't know if it's typical boy smell or what but I can't stand it. He doesn't mind baths so much but he gets fussy about water on his face. So he takes a bath every other day or so. Less in the winter time, because he gets very dry skin and doesn't get as dirty if he's not playing outside so much.

[Bridget]

I feel like a jerk. I babysit for another little girl and the mom just tried to drop her off but she was runny-nosed and sneezy with "allergies" (no fever). I told her because Abbey had *just* gotten over pneumonia and her little girl had been in daycare all last week, that I thought I should watch her today. I hate leaving her without care (she's a WAHM) but seriously. I cannot have my baby get sick again so soon! :sad:
I always feel like a jerk too. But whenever I cave, the other daycare kids always end up sick so I really tryo and stick to my guns on that. :hugs:

[missychrissy]

Conner will go through phases where he wants to play in the tub. I always let him, but don't make him 'bath' at those times.

[missychrissy]

No haircut today...all the barbers are closed.

[daylilies]

Aw :(

[demigraf]

Molly, you're not a jerk, especially because you feel like a jerk. :hugs: I saw a voicemail from you this morning, but haven't gotten to it yet. I have been up since 4am flying back from my parents with Bodhi and am working now. I have never sweat so much getting a kid on an airplane by myself. I know I shouldn't expect anyone to step up and help me, but it is so annoying when people see me red in the face, with a kid in the Ergo, cramming a giant carseat in between seats in front of me and dragging a rolling suitcase behind me because it won't fit down the plane aisle, and they just blink and stare. It almost makes it a little satisfying to hit people with my stuff as I pass them on the way down the aisle.

I saw my sister this weekend. It was a bit tense, but since she was staying in a hotel (my parents' house isn't grand enough for her), not too much time was spent with her. When we said goodbye at a restaurant last night, I gave her a hug and I kind of meant it. I miss having a sister. Still am unclear on how to repair things with her, but get the sense that it will be all my efforts if it ever does happen.

I'm sorry I haven't had the time yet to read back past this page. I am sad to hear about the kiddos not liking their baths. Bodhi has recently started acting up around hair washing, but bath time has also improved ever since I realized that he will play with empty squirt bottles/pump bottles of varying sizes. I've been saving them up now. He gets totally engrossed unscrewing them, filling them and dispensing with them - kind of like his face in my siggy pic. I still try to bathe him every night - even for a short dip - to keep up the routine. But yes, it is heartbreaking to see them crying in the bath. It's super sad for me when Bodhi gets water in his eyes, has soap in his hands and then tries to rub his eyes with them, not realizing that is making things worse. I try really hard to rinse his hands immediately when they're soapy. The things we have to learn from our little ones...

Hope everyone had a nice weekend.

[AmeriBrit]

Nice to see you here, Myles. I'm sorry about your sister. I haven't spoken to my sister in about 3 months now and haven't actually seen her in person in 3.5 years now. I really really miss her.

On the subject of baths, I posted in NM/MIG about Travis and his penis issues. He loves baths and loves to tug at his "tail" in the bath. Yikes. I don't know how to handle it, but he's loved his new discovery of his new 'toy.' Oi vey.

[AbbeysMom]

I haven't talked to my sister in about two months but we managed recently to start texting each other occasionally, to impart any important news. There are very few people I meet without sister issues though, so I feel I'm in good company.

[Bridget]

I always wanted a sister. I have two brothers and my younger one is my best friend. We once went 6 months without speaking and it was horrible. He's gay so he's much like a sister but even better because when we used to go to the clubs together no guys would mess with me. :laugh: People always did think we were a couple though so we used to have this plan that if someone attractive was near we'd say loudly to the other, "Have you talked to mom today?"
One night we were at this martini bar where there must have been a lot of beautiful people because finally the bartender asked us wtf we keep repeating that question to eachother.:laugh:

Myles, when I moved over here from Hawaii I was traveling alone with Savana and Kai and couldn't believe how very few people offered to help me. But I sure got a lot of looks from people hoping the lady with the baby and toddler wasn't going to sit by them.:eyeroll:

[demigraf]

People always did think we were a couple though so we used to have this plan that if someone attractive was near we'd say loudly to the other, "Have you talked to mom today?"


:laugh: Priceless. See, it's inside jokes like that that make me miss having my sis in my life.

[Ky'sMom]

That is so rude no one offered to help you Myles. I have experienced the same thing. Last summer I flew to MI with Ky, my nephew (who hated water), and Elle, and had to bring her car seat. It was my nephew's first time flying and he was nervous. No one offered to help me either. I thought it was rude then and I think it is rude that you and Bridget didn't get assistance either.

DH always helps ladies with babies/toddlers at the airport when he is there and he also will tell other men to help ladies with babies/toddlers (in a mean "why the hell aren't you helping" tone of voice) I'm happy that he is helpful like that, though I do chide him that he is more helpful to strangers than to me sometimes.

I have 2 half sisters but never felt close to them. I only felt close to my older brother, he is 11 months older than me and right now we are the same age. I adored him when we were kids. I still consider him my first love, not romantic, but he was the only person that I was enamored with as a child. He was sweet and funny and silly. I miss him but he is into weed smoking and drinking a lot of alcohol now so he is not the same as he used to be. Whenever I visit though he is very excited and we hang out often. I call him probably 2-3 times a month and he usually doesn't answer his phone. I don't let it bother me but I do worry about him.

Personally, I don't get why parents bring their kids to daycare when they are sick. I guess some people may lose their jobs or something. I did used to work at a place that fired a friend of mine for taking off work because her newborn son had a heart condition and needed surgery and so she had to go over the 12 week allowed FMLA period. That really sickened me. But if someone has vacation/sick time, I don't understand. I keep Elle home an extra day usually if she is sick. I would hate to have a kid catch something serious from her and she goes to a small daycare. She got strep in January and initially I didn't think it was serious as she didn't have a fever until the second day, so the first day she said her throat was hurting, I just gave her some tea to drink that morning and that evening she got a high fever so I was worried about the kids and my provider getting ill. Luckily they didn't.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Rich was let go for opting to take Bobbie to the ER rather than working his 13th day in a row without time off. She ended up being admitted for RSV. :( Around here, more places than not will at least write a parent up for taking off due to a sick child. Sick time is a luxury only offered to civil service employees or academics.

I don't have a sister. My brother and I are very close though. We almost never argue or have tension between us.

[missychrissy]

As far as airplanes, I only went the 1 time but I found people were very helpful with Conner. If not helpful, they were all very compassionate and understanding when he had a 2 hour meltdown between Detroit and Phoenix. I was so grateful.

[daylilies]

I'm an only child. I used to wish I had an older sister but I'm sure I romanticized it more than it would actually be. LOL

I'm sorry people weren't helpful on the plane :(

[daylilies]

As for the sick thing, I don't take Josh out of school if he just has a cold and his school doesn't expect me too either. I think schools don't mind that because if a kid had to stay home every time they had a cold, most kids would miss an awful lot of school.
But when he was sick with that stomach bug I wanted to keep him home until he was clear for at least a day. He ended up missing a whole week and this past week was vacation.

[Ky'sMom]

I feel very lucky to have so much PTO time at my job. We don't have seperate vacation and sick days but I get nearly a month worth's of PTO per year. We can also take time off without pay if needed and we get FMLA as well if needed. The benefits here are really the main reason why I took the job since I make less than I could make at a different company but no one in the private sector offers really good benefits IMO either anymore. I can also go part time if needed so that is a plus and I probably will next school year.

DH gets more PTO than me but he works a federal job with federal benefits.

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

A regular sickness, like just a cough or runny nose doesn't count as "sick" IMO. Most kids I know have a runny nose or cough at some point and I don't really care about that, but stomach illnesses, like you mentioned, or very high fevers bother me since there may be something serious going on. I know most of the time it is not serious, but I would at least think if my kid had a fever that came back after Tylenol or Motrin then they may need to rest at home for a day.

Erin

[AmeriBrit]

I'm dreading our 8 hour flight from England to Newark. We've done it before with just Travis but having 2 kids on the plane seems like an even bigger task.

[The10Eels]

I have never sweat so much getting a kid on an airplane by myself. I know I shouldn't expect anyone to step up and help me, but it is so annoying when people see me red in the face, with a kid in the Ergo, cramming a giant carseat in between seats in front of me and dragging a rolling suitcase behind me because it won't fit down the plane aisle, and they just blink and stare. It almost makes it a little satisfying to hit people with my stuff as I pass them on the way down the aisle.


When I flew to KC with the girls, I seriously was so excited to get to our seats so I could just sit! Its tough! and OMG I lol'd at the bolded part. COMPLETELY agree!!



Myles, when I moved over here from Hawaii I was traveling alone with Savana and Kai and couldn't believe how very few people offered to help me. But I sure got a lot of looks from people hoping the lady with the baby and toddler wasn't going to sit by them.:eyeroll:
Seriously!! I flew on Southwest, which has open seating... So I got on, got Audris carseat in the window, sat in the aisle, and let charlie play in the middle seat. We got the entire row to ourselves because no one wanted to sit next to the lady with kids.. Well except the one flight that had ZERO open seats..

and I didn't have ANYONE offer to help with anything either... Trying to get through security with two kids under 3, a double stroller and a carseat was a nightmare, and instead of people offering to help, they just gave really annoyed sighs, or ran to get into different lines... Seriously!?:truce:

[The10Eels]

Oh.. and it is because of the hassles I had flying to KC, that I booked a direct flight from Denver to Fairbanks for our Alaska trip. all I will have to carry through security will be the stroller and the kids. Contemplating just checking the stroller too, since we have no layovers.

[Bridget]

We had so many tears last night. Yesterday during daycare naptime dbf took the Savana and Kai out back to go fishing. So let me just give him a quick shout out for that since he's been spending more time with them.
They came rushing in after they were done with a duck egg. This duck egg might as well have been a golden one for how totally enthralled they were. Savana asked me to put it somewhere safe so I setit on top of the daycare cubbies.
After dinner I was nursing sawyer when I heard Kai say, with noted devastation, "Oh no, oh no NONONONO!" So I came running out to see he had went down to get the egg and dropped it. Oh my he was just so sad. And then comes Savana and she sees the egg and just melts into a puddle, wailing that the egg was so special to her and this made Kai cry even louder because he adores Savana.
So I'm trying to gather everyone up in my arms and nurse Sawyer at the same time when Savana says, "I just want to be alone Mama. Can I go lay in your bed?"
Bravo Savana! I mean, what a mature and productive way to deal with her sad feelings, right? So she goes and I can hear her getting it all out and sobbing about the egg while I balance Kai and Sawyer. Hold on Sawyer's awake.

[Bridget]

Okay, so then I hear Mark go in the room and then I hear Savana screaming at him. He comes out saying how she should not be allowed to act like that and I ask what he said to her and he tells me he told her she was making poor choices by getting so upset about the duck egg.:shocker:
Dooooooood. Whyyyyyy??? Do you see how he sort of kind of uses the words he hears me use like saying "poor choices" but everything else about it is wrong wrong wrong. I've been working with Savana so hard and finding ways to feel her feelings without being destructive and hurtful and she totally did the right thing here and he just squashed it. Later in bed she told me the reason the duck was so special to her was that dad had to try really hard to get it for her and that made her feel like it was so special. So it was because of her love and admiration of HIM that she was so sad to lose it in the first place.
I just wish more than anything in the world I could get him to understand how important it is for him to choose the right words at the right time. To just listen to them and let them feel what they feel without his judgement.

[daylilies]

I hear you, Bridget. That's one thing I've been trying to do. Just to say "I understand" more often really helps us.

[missychrissy]

Ugh, Bridget I wish I had some advice. He can't have thought that was a good thing to say?!

[Bridget]

I hear you, Bridget. That's one thing I've been trying to do. Just to say "I understand" more often really helps us.
Exactly. How good does it feel to have someone just understand?

Ugh, Bridget I wish I had some advice. He can't have thought that was a good thing to say?!
I would think not. He just let his own annoyance at the crying extravaganza cloud his judgement. He went to bed at 8pm with Kai so clearly he was really tired but I still expect better. I'm tired too.

[missychrissy]

Did you later tell him why the egg was so special to her? I think he should feel like a heel.

[Bridget]

Did you later tell him why the egg was so special to her? I think he should feel like a heel.
I didn't get a chance to since he went to bed so early. But I will.

[missychrissy]

In the past Rich has said things that I told him made it all worse and that if he couldn't be helpful he needed to keep his mouth shut. :P

When the girls were really little, he used to pull that "I'll give you something to cry about" crap. omg would that ever light me on fire! DUH! They do have something to cry about, that's why they're crying!! He hasn't said that in years and years, but I still get mad just thinking about it.

:shame: I never handled it tactfully...it would turn into an argument because I'd freak out on him.

[Bridget]

In the past Rich has said things that I told him made it all worse and that if he couldn't be helpful he needed to keep his mouth shut. :P

When the girls were really little, he used to pull that "I'll give you something to cry about" crap. omg would that ever light me on fire! DUH! They do have something to cry about, that's why they're crying!! He hasn't said that in years and years, but I still get mad just thinking about it.

:shame: I never handled it tactfully...it would turn into an argument because I'd freak out on him.
Oh hells no!!! I have been tring so hard not to freak out on him. It is not easy.

[missychrissy]

I'm sure it's not, but you're doing things the right way. He'll feel bad when you talk to him...hopefully it will start sinking in. Change is slow but it does sound like he's made efforts.

[daylilies]

DH says that too, "I'll give you something to cry about" and not only is it an empty threat because he never hits Josh, but it's just so hurtful. It's not just with Josh that he does that though. He thinks anyone being openly emotional is faking it or too sensitive and he just brushes it off. I'm sure it comes from how he was raised.

[girlwonder]

I am sorry. Poor Savana - to feel so sad to lose something and then to be judged as bad for feeling sad. Ugh. That breaks my heart. I hope she never feels like her feelings are not valid.

[missychrissy]

DH says that too, "I'll give you something to cry about" and not only is it an empty threat because he never hits Josh, but it's just so hurtful. It's not just with Josh that he does that though. He thinks anyone being openly emotional is faking it or too sensitive and he just brushes it off. I'm sure it comes from how he was raised.
:( I'm sure that's where Rich got it from too...how he was raised.

I don't know how in this day and age people fail to realize how detrimental repressed emotions are. If I give my kids nothing else, I hope they are always free to feel what they feel.

[Cosmosmom]

TBH, I guess that I am in the rude category. I just don't think that it would occur to me to help a person with kids at the airport. In my experience, the few times I tried to offer help, it was not well received. So now I mostly just only offer to help if I am at work as that is part of my job and people don't look at you strange if you are asking them if they need any help and you have an employee name tag on. Otherwise I just mind my own business when not at work.
Plus for a couple of years I have basically tried to mostly avoid babies and little kids as best as I could....and when I couldn't avoid, I would try to ignore. Only been the past two months or so when I can look at babies and smile at them or their parents (except at work where I would fake it because well it was work).

I'm sorry for those of you having sister issues. I'm so lucky there in that mine is my best friend other than DH. Thank god they get along really well because she has even come on vacation with us a couple of times. When we do have our baby, she is going to be the godmother as well being named legal guardian for our baby, our dog or dogs at the time and any money will go to her for the baby....we will definitely do a will for that. She is so excited for us to have a baby....and even said she would have one for us if we wanted. Even growing up we didn't fight all that much...just minor stuff like when I was 16 and really cool and she was 11 and really not cool (or so I thought LOL). I would do anything for her.
In a way I'm a bit sad because DH doesn't have that and I am pretty sure that our child will be an only child. I do not see us going through adopting twice due to the money.....and of course nothing says siblings will get along or even like each other. Only way we will have two kids will be if we somehow got pg after the adoption but I'm not going to hold my breath on that one.

[AmeriBrit]

TBH, I guess that I am in the rude category. I just don't think that it would occur to me to help a person with kids at the airport.

I think it's understandable knowing your background, but if you saw a person obviously struggling, you wouldn't feel an urge to help them?

There are too many people who pretend to just not notice other people when they're in need and that just makes me sad. When I first started working at my current workplace, one of the things you have to do when working at the office is to spend a day in a store with the colleagues and help bag groceries, shadow a shelf stocker, that sort of thing. There was a woman that bought a cart full of groceries and then was struggling to carry 2 big boxes of diapers out to her car, so I asked her if she wanted me to help her carry them out. She was so appreciative. Everyone else just stood there. I hate that.

[Cosmosmom]

I think it's understandable knowing your background, but if you saw a person obviously struggling, you wouldn't feel an urge to help them? There are too many people who pretend to just not notice other people when they're in need and that just makes me sad. When I first started working at my current workplace, one of the things you have to do when working at the office is to spend a day in a store with the colleagues and help bag groceries, shadow a shelf stocker, that sort of thing. There was a woman that bought a cart full of groceries and then was struggling to carry 2 big boxes of diapers out to her car, so I asked her if she wanted me to help her carry them out. She was so appreciative. Everyone else just stood there. I hate that.
Honestly it just depends. I have flown once in the past 13 years and I was busy talking with DH and reading and didn't really see anyone with kids or struggling.
If it was something like maybe opening a door, yeah that I tend to do. Something more involved, probably not. I wouldn't want some stranger helping me with a child involved and so there is a good chance that I wouldn't even think to offer. And people tend to get very snippity when you insinuate that they are not handling their kid or dealing with it well. So that I probably would just ignore under most circumstances unless the parent seemed super friendly. And to top things off, I am on the more shy side in person so I don't generally go up and strike conversations with strangers. And for a number of years, I will cop to being jealous and bitter....I figured your kid, your problem....and wished that I was in their shoes instead.

At work though, totally different story. I'm all about customer service. I force myself to smile, say hi, say can I help you find anything if they look lost (we just opened a new building so things are VERY different).

[Cosmosmom]

Oh and Kate, DH and I are watching Game of Thrones and liking it quite a bit. Though I think that he wishes that I would have waited a few more weeks to start it because now he has to wait a week for the next one like everyone else.

[missychrissy]

If it was something like maybe opening a door, yeah that I tend to do. Something more involved, probably not. I wouldn't want some stranger helping me with a child involved and so there is a good chance that I wouldn't even think to offer. And people tend to get very snippity when you insinuate that they are not handling their kid or dealing with it well. So that I probably would just ignore under most circumstances unless the parent seemed super friendly. And to top things off, I am on the more shy side in person so I don't generally go up and strike conversations with strangers. And for a number of years, I will cop to being jealous and bitter....I figured your kid, your problem....and wished that I was in their shoes instead.
Awww :hugs: One day, it will you be with your kid. I hope very, very soon.

As for some parents getting snippy-that's true. Some do. Even being a mom, I had a woman lash out at me because I left the line I was in to open and hold the door she was struggling to get a stroller through. I just said, "Sorry" and got back in line. I figured she had more issues than just fitting a wide stroller through a manual door.

When Conner was freaking out on the plane, one older lady came up to us and offered to hold him. She stood rocking him back and forth for the longest time. I had tried, but he just kicked and shoved at me and carried on even louder. Anyway, when she had him all soothed and returned to me, she said she had a little boy once but lost him to cancer. She said, "Enjoy him as much as you can, even in the difficult moments." :( I sat there fighting back tears after...not because of the stress or my failure to comfort my own son, but because I at least had my son to give me fits. I try to remember that when he's really testing my limits.

[Bridget]

God, Chrissy. That is a beautiful story. I'm wiping a tear.
I would not expect someone to help me with the kids so much as the rest of my load. It was never that my kids weren't behaving. One time I asked the flight attendant on duty how I could get to the shuttle with Kai in the ergo, Savana asleep in the stroller, a diaper bag, my nursing pillow, and Savana's little carry on and she pointed to the steps. I asked if there was an elevator and she said they close it down after a certain time of night. There were several people standing around some that actually worked there and they were just looking at me! I started to turn Savana's stroller to pull it backward down the steps, then stopped and decided to run everything else down first while leaving her up. When I sprinted down and dropped everything and sprinted back up, one of the luggage loader guys saw me from outside and came rushing in to help me get Savana and the stroller down the steps. The rest of those people could seriously kiss my arse. What if I had been in a wheelchair? Would there still have been no elevator?
Thank goodness that life balances out generally because there have been countless times that strangers have helped me at different times in my life.

[missychrissy]

That would have aggravated me. I'm sure it's against the law for them to not have handicap accessibility. It's just a matter of time before someone with a wheelchair will come at the 'wrong' time.

I'm always offering to help people-like getting things from high shelves in the store, or the really heavy, 50 lb bags of dog food. If they look like they're having a hard time, I'll say, "Can I help you with that?" I just think it's common courtesy, and it has never made me late for anything, ever!

[3andMe]

And this is why I never traveled alone with the twins. Dh kept asking me to meet him places when he traveled for work, and when I talked to airlines and they told me they couldn't do a thing to help me and that if I needed to change one baby and the other one was sleeping, I'd have to take both to the tiny airplane bathroom with me (no changing in the seats), I said forget it. And I soon found out when traveling with dh that a lot of planes don't even have changing tables. Can you imagine trying to balance yourself and two babies in a tiny bathroom, while changing a poopy diaper? Very difficult.

[Bridget]

I changed mine right in the seat.
For SHAME!!:laugh:
But me trying to use the bathroom was a trip, let me tell you.

[demigraf]

Oh, what a touching story, chrissy. *teary-eyed*

bridget, my DH totally misinterprets the terms and phrases I use and tries to throw them back at me too. It is so **** frustrating, I know! Your poor little Savana. She has such a delicate heart. It's so sad that Mark considered her crying a "poor choice". You don't choose your emotions, you choose how to react to them. And she reacted so beautifully. I think Mark is like a lot of guys out there, actually, who are very uncomfortable with showing emotion because they think it makes them weak.

My ex is a sort of dating "expert". It's how he makes his living anyway (and that includes using episodes from our relationship as chapters in his books where I'm the cautionary tale). As much as I disagree with his interpretation of our relationship, he still makes some great points (and I am grateful at least he doesn't mention me by name). One of his essays has to do with the tradeoff between masculine traits and feminine sensitivity in a guy - how it's very rare to find them both in a man. From what I've observed that's unfortunately pretty true. The more "strong and take-charge" a guy is - two arguably desirable traits, the less nuanced he is when it comes to emotions. Anyway, I guess the takeaway is that it's apparently unrealistic to expect both in your male mate. Is your man a bit of an "alpha" type, bridget?

I can only imagine men make a tradeoff along similar lines with women. I know I lean towards more logical thinking, and DH doesn't get a lot of feminine vulnerability from me as a consequence. Sometimes I think he wishes I were more of a sensitive, nostalgic chick.

[Cosmosmom]

God, Chrissy. That is a beautiful story. I'm wiping a tear.
I would not expect someone to help me with the kids so much as the rest of my load. It was never that my kids weren't behaving. One time I asked the flight attendant on duty how I could get to the shuttle with Kai in the ergo, Savana asleep in the stroller, a diaper bag, my nursing pillow, and Savana's little carry on and she pointed to the steps. I asked if there was an elevator and she said they close it down after a certain time of night. There were several people standing around some that actually worked there and they were just looking at me! I started to turn Savana's stroller to pull it backward down the steps, then stopped and decided to run everything else down first while leaving her up. When I sprinted down and dropped everything and sprinted back up, one of the luggage loader guys saw me from outside and came rushing in to help me get Savana and the stroller down the steps. The rest of those people could seriously kiss my arse. What if I had been in a wheelchair? Would there still have been no elevator?
Thank goodness that life balances out generally because there have been countless times that strangers have helped me at different times in my life.

Now THAT I would have helped with. that is asinine to have no elevator.

[The10Eels]

I confess we got a diagnosis as to my aunts myserious illness today. ( a week after she passed).

It was Guillain-Barre Syndrom, and the kicker -- totally treatable if caught in time.

It has the same symptoms as her MS, so they had no clue.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guillain%E2%80%93Barr%C3%A9_syndrome

[demigraf]

Ash, I'm so sorry! Did they find this out during an autopsy?