Secular Confessions

[Gwenn]

Bridget, that's great news!

[3andMe]

I'm glad you're feeling a little better about Savana, Bridget.

It's interesting, trying to characterize this difference between normal childhood obsessions/compulsions and diagnosable OCD. Because a lot of people joke about being "Oh, I am so OCD" about such and such, when it's probably pretty infuriating to people who actually have debilitating symptoms. On the other hand, I went through a year in college, living by myself (and I've lived by myself plenty of other times when this didn't happen, so don't ask my why this year was unique) when I became a major checker. I would get into bed and then get out of bed a dozen times or more every night, making the rounds of my tiny studio apartment, making sure the one door was locked, making sure the stove was off, getting back into bed. I'd settle down, then think that maybe I just went through the motions the last time and I didn't actually look at the lock, or maybe I accidentally hit it with my hand and unlocked it, so I'd get up and re-check. Like I said, I'd do that dozens of times. I could see the door and my stove from my bed! I lost sleep over this, so it was definitely affecting my life.

After that year, I didn't do anything super-different, but it went away as suddenly as it started. I still have a tendency to have an intrusive thought occasionally about the stove being on while I'm in bed, but it happens maybe only once every month or two - not dozens of times a night - and I am usually satisfied after reviewing in my mind the memory of cleaning the kitchen and remembering the stove being cool. I'm not sure what happened to improve my checking behaviors. That year was very stressful, so maybe just moving away from that college, being back among my friends and my social support helped, and making a conscious effort to change.

Bah. I've been trying to write this post for 45 minutes, and I keep getting called away and I can't finish it, so consider it not precise.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it may not always be an all-or-nothing thing, either. OCD may be a yes or no diagnosis, but some people find it to take over their lives, while other people manage very well with it. Like a lot of other things, it seems to be a spectrum, and even though I never saw anyone for it, I think I could have been diagnosed with it at the time I was exhibiting all of my symptoms.

[AbbeysMom]

I'm sorry Chrissy :( I hope it's just seasonal too.
I just got the e mail that Buddhism for Mothers is ready-I'll get it tomorrow--
Hey that's a great book! Myles recommended it when Abbey was very wee, and I was so upset when I couldn't find it after the move. And yeah, not very zen of me to get up set about a lost book on Buddhism, when I could just order another one. :laugh:


:laugh: That's cute!!

Today is warmer out. I do feel better when I'm outside. It's probably just a combination of too long of a winter, stress with my older kids, and the time change.

As much as I generally loathe Texas on principal, the short winters and warm weather has made a huge change in my life. Being outside while Abbey plays is a big rejuvenator.



Chrissy, I hope you can get some rest and renew your energy.:hugs:
Ash, how were the girls when they saw their dad? How was that for you?

So, I've been given some great advice about my concerns regarding Savana's behaviors. (Thank you, AbbeysMom:wub:) My whole approach has changed just over the past 2 days and I am already seeing small changes. It's not so much in the behaviors themselves, although some good things happening there. More so in her general demeanor. It's as though I opened her up again. She's not walking around with a scowl. I really think she was desperate for me to help her. One of the things suggested was to ask her to wait five minutes before washing her hands. She still does it, but she does wait. Then tonight at bedtime she said, "You know what I don't like about myself? That I always wash my hands. I don't actually even like washing my hands but I still always do it." Then after a moment she said, "Right now I want to go wash my hands because I touched my eye and i had an eye booger."
I said, "nah, just stay here so I can tickle your back." She can't resist that.:winks:
I heard her whisper a few times that she really wanted to wash her hands. But she didn't go. And now she's sleeping. Small victory.

All this time I just let her do whatever because i thought drawing attention to it wouuld make it worse. Now I feel like she so badly wants someone to help her stop.

So happy to hear this! I'm been thinking about her and hoping she's having a better time of it lately, but I know she has an awesome advocate in you and will really be just fine.


I'm glad you're feeling a little better about Savana, Bridget.

It's interesting, trying to characterize this difference between normal childhood obsessions/compulsions and diagnosable OCD. Because a lot of people joke about being "Oh, I am so OCD" about such and such, when it's probably pretty infuriating to people who actually have debilitating symptoms. On the other hand, I went through a year in college, living by myself (and I've lived by myself plenty of other times when this didn't happen, so don't ask my why this year was unique) when I became a major checker. I would get into bed and then get out of bed a dozen times or more every night, making the rounds of my tiny studio apartment, making sure the one door was locked, making sure the stove was off, getting back into bed. I'd settle down, then think that maybe I just went through the motions the last time and I didn't actually look at the lock, or maybe I accidentally hit it with my hand and unlocked it, so I'd get up and re-check. Like I said, I'd do that dozens of times. I could see the door and my stove from my bed! I lost sleep over this, so it was definitely affecting my life.

After that year, I didn't do anything super-different, but it went away as suddenly as it started. I still have a tendency to have an intrusive thought occasionally about the stove being on while I'm in bed, but it happens maybe only once every month or two - not dozens of times a night - and I am usually satisfied after reviewing in my mind the memory of cleaning the kitchen and remembering the stove being cool. I'm not sure what happened to improve my checking behaviors. That year was very stressful, so maybe just moving away from that college, being back among my friends and my social support helped, and making a conscious effort to change.

Bah. I've been trying to write this post for 45 minutes, and I keep getting called away and I can't finish it, so consider it not precise.

Anyway, I guess what I'm trying to say is that it may not always be an all-or-nothing thing, either. OCD may be a yes or no diagnosis, but some people find it to take over their lives, while other people manage very well with it. Like a lot of other things, it seems to be a spectrum, and even though I never saw anyone for it, I think I could have been diagnosed with it at the time I was exhibiting all of my symptoms.

I agree with this... I can pinpoint almost exactly the two events that made 'manageable' OCD turn into something quite a bit more debilitating. Both were related to illness/death, which I know is common, but any big change that causes major anxiety could be a trigger. meanwhile I know family members who manage with symptoms but never to the point where they've tried therapy. That said I do think they could benefit from therapy, because why live with symptoms, manageable or not... KWIM?

[missychrissy]

Bridget that's wonderful news! :wub: Abbey'sMom for having the knowledge and sharing it. I hope things continue in a positive direction.

I finally got a decent nights rest. I feel like a brand new person today. It helps that it's warm out! Today is Dragon Day at Cornell, but it's supposed to rain. :(

[Bridget]

Glad you got a good night's rest Chrissy. It really does make all the difference in the world doesn't it?
I'm not sleeping much at all but such is life with a newborn. It amazes me how little sleep a new mother can survive on.
I don't know if you guys saw my post in nm but lately in my daycare all the little girl's do is play with the dolls, breastfeed them and try to tie them onto themselves. One little girl takes my breastfeeding pillow every time I'm not using it and climbs up on the loft and breastfeeds her doll. I've just been going with it and filling the sensory table with warm soapy water so they can bathe them. It's been the same thing every day this week. I love it.

[daylilies]

What's dragon day, Chrissy?

[missychrissy]

That's too sweet Bridget! I wonder how many will grow and breastfeed their own children because of your example? It really gives me the warm fuzzies to think how lucky those children are that are in your care.

Kate, I don't know the specifics but it's a tradition at Cornell. The Architecture school builds a dragon and taunt the engineering school with it and in the end they burn it. http://aap.cornell.edu/arch/programs/dragon.cfm They actually make pretty spectacular dragons. They don't really light them on fire any more though, due to environmental concerns...or if they do, they're made of 'safe' burnable material without any toxins in it.

[missychrissy]

I wanted to bring Conner to see the dragon, but it's supposed to rain. And I don't really have any vacation time to use. Maybe next year. I should hear the kids yelling and hollering once they get going. If I'm not busy, I'll try to run out and take pics.

[daylilies]

Wow, it looks neat!
Bridget I thought about your baby wearing, breastfeeding kids at your day care this morning. Josh was carrying around his baby doll (which he hasn't picked up in a while-maybe the baby making talk yesterday prompted it) and DH was kind of commenting negatively on it and I said "Maybe he'll learn early how to be a good daddy" and DH said "I don't know if carrying around a baby doll affects your parenting later." And I'm like uhh, I'm pretty sure it does!

[missychrissy]

Boo on him! Conner will occasionally play with a doll as well. Rich started to say something about it a long time ago, but I nipped that in the bud. At least he does agree with me that it might help Conner eventually become a good Daddy.

My brother had 2 'babies' and I don't know of a manlier man, if that's what the guys are afraid of.

[Bridget]

Wow, it looks neat!
Bridget I thought about your baby wearing, breastfeeding kids at your day care this morning. Josh was carrying around his baby doll (which he hasn't picked up in a while-maybe the baby making talk yesterday prompted it) and DH was kind of commenting negatively on it and I said "Maybe he'll learn early how to be a good daddy" and DH said "I don't know if carrying around a baby doll affects your parenting later." And I'm like uhh, I'm pretty sure it does!
Pretty sure it does too! I remember one time Kai was pretending to change a dolls diaper and was even wiping it's butt and everything and dbf was like, "That is so wrong." :eyebrow: Doooood. That is so RIGHT.
When I told him about the kids breastfeeding he said if Kai does it I need to tell him that boys don't do that. I just laughed. I said if we're letting him play guns, we're letting him breastfeed. Not that he has, but good grief. I'm going to forbid him from pretending?

[Bridget]

I wish they made boy dolls. I'm sure you can get them somewhere but you certainly don't see them at Walmart which is just bogus in my opinion.
I got a boy and girl doll off craigslist that are anatomically correct. They're big too and creepily life like.

[Cosmosmom]

DH had some stuffed toys when he was little. Actually his favorites we still have in a box...Duddley and Rye (because the dog looked like a piece of Rye bread LOL). When he got his stepdad at age 9, he wouldn't let DH sleep with them anymore because it wasn't manly and he was a boy. :( And this was among the nicer of the mean things he did.
I hate that man with a passion and am glad that he is dead....just wish he would have died sooner.


Who knows if seeing nursing will affect those girls or not. I saw my mom nursing my sister...I was five and I guess my friend and I used to play nursing our babies too. But as an adult, I don't really have much interest in it. Before when I assumed I would give birth, I figured I might give it a try, at least while on leave the first few weeks. But I have zero interest in trying to pump at work (which my BFF who is very into nursing is trying to do...her daughter is probably about 3 weeks older than Sawyer). Of course now that we are adopting, not something I have to decide. No way do I want to deal with the stress of taking drugs and trying to force my body into producing milk while getting to know our new baby. And I want to make sure that DH gets equal bonding time. I do however strongly believe that if a baby is bottle fed, they need to be always held just like a bf baby is.

[Cosmosmom]

American Girl has boy baby dolls. And when I was little, my grandma got us twin baby dolls....with the correct parts and were baby sized. In fact my mom gave us some clothes for them from the ones we wore that she had saved (well the boy got the gender neutral sleepers since mom had two girls). We named the twins Michael and Michelle. LOL

[3andMe]

I have twin dolls, one boy and one girl, but they are not anatomically correct. They just came as a set wearing pink and blue clothes and looking kind of generic.

[daylilies]

I had to buy a baby girl doll and get a couple blue newborn outfits which are huge on it. He wanted one whose eyes would close so that made the task that much harder.

[The10Eels]

Ash, how were the girls when they saw their dad? How was that for you?

I was really nervous. It had been over a year since we'd seen him. He looked like sh!t, which made me feel a little better, but he had asked if he and his dad could take the girls for a while without me, which sent my mommy alarm SCREAMING.

To be nice, I told him that we would have to see how the girls did swimming, and then go from there.. and If he thought he could handle both of them by himself... (which I knew he couldn't..)

The girls acted like he was a stranger, which he practically is. He picked Audri up right away, and she was struggling to get down. He made her say please before he would put her down. This morning she was just chattering away and said "I told my daddy please" When we asked her what she was talking about she clarified "I told my daddy put me down please"

Charlie wouldn't even give him a chance, and he only got to hold her while she was sleeping. or screaming.

and to be honest it made me feel good.

[missychrissy]

I wish they made boy dolls. I'm sure you can get them somewhere but you certainly don't see them at Walmart which is just bogus in my opinion.
I got a boy and girl doll off craigslist that are anatomically correct. They're big too and creepily life like.

We have a newborn boy doll that's anatomically correct. That's the one Conner plays with. Actually, it was my doll when I was a kid!


I have twin dolls, one boy and one girl, but they are not anatomically correct. They just came as a set wearing pink and blue clothes and looking kind of generic.

Sydney had a set of them. She named them Seymour and Michaela. I'd like to get another set for Conner.


I had to buy a baby girl doll and get a couple blue newborn outfits which are huge on it. He wanted one whose eyes would close so that made the task that much harder.

Yeah, that would be difficult to find. I can't remember if Conner's doll has eyes that open or not. I almost think they do, but like I said it was my doll and I remember ordering it from a catalog. I wouldn't have a clue where to get one now.


I was really nervous. It had been over a year since we'd seen him. He looked like sh!t, which made me feel a little better, but he had asked if he and his dad could take the girls for a while without me, which sent my mommy alarm SCREAMING.

To be nice, I told him that we would have to see how the girls did swimming, and then go from there.. and If he thought he could handle both of them by himself... (which I knew he couldn't..)

The girls acted like he was a stranger, which he practically is. He picked Audri up right away, and she was struggling to get down. He made her say please before he would put her down. This morning she was just chattering away and said "I told my daddy please" When we asked her what she was talking about she clarified "I told my daddy put me down please"

Charlie wouldn't even give him a chance, and he only got to hold her while she was sleeping. or screaming.

and to be honest it made me feel good.
:laugh: I would have made me feel good too.

[Cosmosmom]

Ash...I would have been happy with the girls reaction to B too!


I confess....I am retaining water like I'm a camel. I sometimes do this but this time it's worse than it's been in a while. I know nothing major is wrong, I have just had blood pressure checked, urine checked, blood checked....pretty much everything for the adoption papers. I haven't missed my thyroid meds (which often will lead to water retention).
I am on CD 20 so I do expect AF in the next probably 5-6 days. And my bbs are killing me and I cannot wait to go home and get out of a bra (I swear they go from DD to DDD's).

I stopped drinking pop yesterday afternoon after I realized that I was basically replacing water with diet mt dew. I don't think that I get a ton of extra salt...I rarely add it to anything except baking or sometimes season salt on chicken/pork which we haven't had recently.

I'm glad I don't wear dresses because my ankles...especially the right one (I think that I hurt the muscle in the lower back part of the leg early in the week...I'm so klutz and stepped down some stairs wrong).

Seriously thinking of stopping at walgreens after work and picking up an OTC diuretic......

[missychrissy]

Drinking water should help. Has it suddenly gotten warmer there? I know I tend to retain water when the weather first changes.

[Bean]

Both Lorelai and Griffin started nursing their baby dolls after seeing me nurse Bodhan. DH said something along the lines of "that's so wrong" while he laughed but knew better than to stop them. :winks: I thought it was adorable. Griffin will come over and squeeze my boobs and say "yup, milk in dere for Bodhi!" :laugh:

[Cosmosmom]

Drinking water should help. Has it suddenly gotten warmer there? I know I tend to retain water when the weather first changes.
Warm for us I guess. Mid 40's to very low 50's. :laugh: We can actually see grass now under the snow.

[missychrissy]

That's so cute Cass! :wub:

It was 40's today here too...maybe 50? But I'm not sure. Anyway, I drove with my top down for the first time this year! Hold on to your mohawk Jesi, we're going topless!!! :lol:

[Bridget]

:laugh:
I miss my drop top! I had a pontiac sunbird and I ROCKED that car!
Gahhh...that feels like a million years ago.

[Gwenn]

Ash, good to see you and I'm proud of the girls for reacting to B that way!

Chrissy, I want dragon day here!

It was in the 90's yesterday. We've had to run the AC at work but I haven't turned it on yet at home. It's 78 indoors at night and I won't turn it on until it's over 80.

[Cosmosmom]

It was in the 90's yesterday. We've had to run the AC at work but I haven't turned it on yet at home. It's 78 indoors at night and I won't turn it on until it's over 80.

My heat just kicked on. :laugh: Still have snow on the ground too. And I basically run the air all summer, I can't stand to hot and like to keep it at 71 or 72 inside during the summer (winter is 67).
I don't even currently own a pair of shorts. Oh wait I think I might have one pair but would only wear them in the yard, not in public. But mostly wear long pants in the summer for work and capri's for shopping or at home.

[Gwenn]

I actually don't wear a lot of shorts, either. Skin cancer rates are really high here as we get a lot of direct light so I don't like to tan - which means I'm pasty white most of the time so I cover up with long pants or capris at the shortest. Inside the house I wear mostly skirts/floaty dresses or very lightweight capris in the summer and then put "clothes" on when I leave the house.

[missychrissy]

Ash, good to see you and I'm proud of the girls for reacting to B that way!

Chrissy, I want dragon day here!

It was in the 90's yesterday. We've had to run the AC at work but I haven't turned it on yet at home. It's 78 indoors at night and I won't turn it on until it's over 80.
Our dragon was a disappointment this year. He was small and not even painted. Boo.

I'm a short-shorts and tank top girl. Even at work. :P I love working at Cornell!! Last year after my BA, I even wore two tanks without a bra (dr's orders were to go 3 months without a bra). No one said anything...but then it's a hippie city and many women there burned their bras literally in the 70's and never bought another one. :laugh: But I don't really fit in with them because they're very flowy skirt like with flat, strappy sandals and long, sometimes braided hair and I'm more of a modern girl. Actually, one of the younger professors said I had "non-Ithaca hair" one time. I took that as a compliment!

[Cosmosmom]

Chrissy...so different from my dress code at work. No unnatural hair colors or drastic styles, no piercings other than ears, no visible tattoos, no capris or pedal pushers, no shorts, no tanks or sleeveless, women MUST have either socks or hose on, not too low cut of tops....

Well that is for the staff that isn't in scrubs but they have their own codes.

[Cosmosmom]

speaking of temps early...supposed to be like 21 tonight...no wonder the heat was kicking on!!! LOL

[daylilies]

In relation to the dress codes you guys are talking about--I think I need a style overhaul. DH has commented that I dress like my mom :rolleyes: I can never find jeans I like, so I guess I need to travel out of this area and find some more upscale places to get some cute long skirts and tops or something. It's hard for me to find something I'll be comfortable in all day and still look good in.
DH and I went to Boston last night to see a couple comedians. We had a few drinks and got to talking about our relationship. Basically what it boils down to is, DH won't leave me because he says he'd have to live with his mom :rolleyes: And I won't leave him because I don't know what I'd do with myself and I'm too comfortable in the current situation.

[3andMe]

I don't find jeans comfortable at all. I don't ever understand those analogies about "as comfortable as a pair of old jeans." I mean, I understand them in principle, but it baffles me how people find them comfortable. And this is even after they've invented stretchy jeans.

I don't think there is a dress code at my work about tattoos, because I've seen some wild ones, but we even have a dress code addressing underwear--it's supposed to be neutral or white, so it doesn't show under light-colored scrubs or whites. Also, we're not supposed to wear dangly earrings, but I have rebelled and done it once or twice in the 13 years I've worked there. In San Francisco, there are people with some pretty wild body art and modifications. And since I've been to the nude beach (an unfortunate and weird first date) and the Folsom Street parade, I've seen what people have done to their nether regions, too. It's pretty amazing.

I've been realizing lately that my wardrobe is pretty boring. It's mostly khakis with long-sleeved shirts in neutral solid colors. I've been thinking about getting something brighter or more patterny, but I really like having my whole closet able to coordinate with everything else, and we're on a spending moratorium so it would be silly for me to revamp my wardrobe now when I already have something that works.

Speaking of spending, we've made the final decision to NOT sell our house, so we're going to use the next couple of weekends to go get all of our stuff out of storage and re-clutter our house. Sigh. And dh is trying to talk me into figuring out some way to meet him in China during one of his business trips this summer. I think I would probably have to take the twins, but maybe I could leave Soren with my mom for 10 days or so. Would that be totally crazy? I've been looking into airfare, and it's super-expensive, and I'd be freaked out about eating there after reading a bunch of articles about how it's culturally normal to try to "cheat" customers by switching out products, especially meat, for lesser products to try to save money. *shudder* I see bringing an entire extra suitcase of protein bars.

It's supposed to be cold and rainy with snow in the hills this entire week. I foresee kids bouncing off the walls. Good thing we're getting the trampoline out of storage. :laugh:

[missychrissy]

Cornell is the first place I've ever worked where there wasn't a dress code. At my last job (a hospital group) I started losing weight and my pants fell below my underwear line. My boss was super nice and tactful, but I was humiliated. :shame: I do try to dress according to the code of where I work. Since Cornell doesn't care though, I just dress as me.

I'm not super thrilled with my wardrobe either...but I think it's because I have 2 teens and a tween, so any clothes money gets spent on them! I have a few cute outfits, but I'd like more.

I do know what comfy jeans are. Sorry Lyida you haven't found a pair, because there really isn't nothing like it. I'd wear them before sweats, actually, because they're that comfy. They just fit right and look good.

As for flying to China-how exciting! I'd be a bit nervous about making that long of a trip with the twins too though. Even the best, well behaved children might become overwhelmed and extremely bored. I'd hate to see the cost of the tickets!

I didn't know that about their food. Is it all over, or maybe just certain areas? What are they substituting? Cat? I can't remember what Asian country it was, but I accidentally saw them killing and cooking cats (someone had left the tv on an HBO channel). I was so disturbed. The images still bug me.

[AmeriBrit]

Lydia, for me, I'd go alone if I'd go at all to China.

Our workplace is supposed to have a dress code, but you wouldn't know it how some of the women dress! I wish I worked somewhere where I could just go as myself.

I'm currently thinking that I'm going to re-train as an elementary teacher or do some subbing as a high school teacher to get back in to the profession. I'm thinking I'll take this year off and do some volunteer work to get back in to the feel of things and go from there....

[3andMe]

Well, one of the reasons there have been so many problems with melamine in Chinese feed products is that it is a cheap and toxic filler but it will test positive for protein, even though it's not food.

I don't think I could go alone, because there isn't anyone who could take care of all three children if both dh and I were gone for more than 10 hours.

[Bridget]

Gosh, I think China would be the last place on my list but if DH is there, I'd do like you say and bring the twins.
We are trying to get to Canada so dbf's family can meet Sawyer. I really want to take the train but it's almost the same price to fly and flying is obviously much faster so dbf is pushing for that. Actually, I'd love to drive and camp along the way but we'd need much more time.
Sigh. I really, really, really wish that I could take my one vacation to somewhere that didn't involve me trailing after my kids for a week making sure they don't spill on their Oma's 6000 dollar rug.
Like, a beachside cabin would be glorious.

[AmeriBrit]

Bridget, you'd love Wales! We're looking at booking a cabin on the mountainside near Snowdonia for later this year.

Lydia, is China somewhere that you really want to go? It's not on my list of places to see, but if you really want to go and have the money, go for it then, I say!

[AmeriBrit]

Oh, but yeah, I meant to say about your post, Bridget, that I wish our holiday money could be spent on somewhere better than just seeing my parents. I mean, I love being able to see them but I hate having to coordinate everything around them and their house....our problem with their house is not that they have expensive things but that they don't clean anything properly, so it makes visiting them difficult (especially with small children this time!)

[daylilies]

I think the people who use the 'comfortable as an old pair of jeans' phrase are men.

[Bridget]

I love my old jeans. They are soft. And like Chrissy, they look good on me. I feel frumpy in sweatpants...which is all I can wear right now.
I try to be enlightened enough to realize my body made this beautiful child and it will take some time to tighten up again but the truth is I HATE my body right now. Luckily, I like my mind or I'd be a mess. :laugh:

[Cosmosmom]

Lydia....I think that your hospital has a more lax dress code because you are in SF. I'm a smaller sized town in a more rural area of northern Wisconsin (rural farms around my town). We have a lot of older white farmers around and I tend to see Amish at work on a regular basis.


Bridget, anyway you guys could say rent a cabin and meet the family there? I am not sure where in Canada you are headed but it's within driving distance....
And maybe Oma could put away the 6k rug.....

I hardly ever wear jeans...and while my one pair is a good fit and comfortable enough...I would rather be in knit yoga pants or something. The jeans just look better.

So I officially did something to my foot. Even first thing this morning the ankle and the back part of the leg by the ankle were still swollen and sore. So I figure that I either pulled muscles or have a hairline fracture...can't be broke because while sore I can easily enough walk on it.
Wish I knew what I did so I don't do it again.

[missychrissy]

Spending your one vacation to visit family must be frustrating. I know my cousin Melly has said things along similar lines. She moved to SC 14 years ago or so and finally put her foot down and said if people wanted to visit her so much, they'd come down there. She was driving up to NY twice a year for the longest time.

[Cosmosmom]

We are another one that mostly uses our vacation time to visit with family. Ours are about 5 hours driving distance so mostly we take long weekends at least a few times a year.
Every couple of years we take a bigger vacation...so far three in almost 8 years. Though the Disney trip we took with my sister, my MIL and her husband. It was great and a lot of fun...except now we all hate her husband...they would like to divorce but have an underwater house.
I like vacationing with family...Dh said he would love to see DC and my sister was like, I want to go to DC too. LOL And she probably will too.

We are lucky though...our families both come up here a few times a year especially when it's not winter. We are both really attached to the family...my sister, MIL and my parents. I have already talked with several of them today and do most days.

Course this year a good deal of vacation days have been used for the adoption classes. We both had to take off five days just for that.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh we got some good news today...a letter from our bank saying that they canceled our PMI!!! We haven't even paid it for a year since we started in July last year. We had put 15% down and were told that it would probably have to be paid until 2014. It was only $40 a month but every bit helps.


And I'm making goulash tonight...it's my favorite and the kitchen smells so good...onion, pepper, carrots, beef, tomato.....

[missychrissy]

My vacation time has been eaten up by dealing with Jesi and her skipping school/running away crap. I have just under 30 hours and will hopefully be using some for closing and moving...no real vaca for us this year. Probably not even a weekend getaway camping trip either.

[missychrissy]

Oh we got some good news today...a letter from our bank saying that they canceled our PMI!!! We haven't even paid it for a year since we started in July last year. We had put 15% down and were told that it would probably have to be paid until 2014. It was only $40 a month but every bit helps.


And I'm making goulash tonight...it's my favorite and the kitchen smells so good...onion, pepper, carrots, beef, tomato.....
That's awesome!!

[Cosmosmom]

My vacation time has been eaten up by dealing with Jesi and her skipping school/running away crap. I have just under 30 hours and will hopefully be using some for closing and moving...no real vaca for us this year. Probably not even a weekend getaway camping trip either.

Dealing with Jesi...not a great way to have to use PTO.


But moving...now that would be a GREAT reason to use PTO! Seems like that was how ours got used up last year.

[AmeriBrit]

What kind of vacation time do y'all get? It's some sort of EU law here, so people here get typically 25 days a year. (5 working weeks)

[AbbeysMom]

What kind of vacation time do y'all get? It's some sort of EU law here, so people here get typically 25 days a year. (5 working weeks)

DH gets 6 weeks, I got more when I was a professor due to summer vacations and sabbaticals.

[missychrissy]

What kind of vacation time do y'all get? It's some sort of EU law here, so people here get typically 25 days a year. (5 working weeks)
Most people don't get anything like that. Rich has been where he is for over 8 years, and he's up to 14 paid days off a year. No sick time.

I get 15 days a year and have only been where I am for 3 years. I accumulate 3.8 sick hours per pay period, so every other week. Most people in my area consider themselves lucky if they get 1 paid week off for vacation a year. I think that's true across the US. I believe the maximum amount of vacation time I can earn is 4 weeks, and I have to be at Cornell something like 10 years before I get that much.

[missychrissy]

I was wrong, I just looked and the maximum vaca time I can earn at Cornell is 24 days after 14 years of service.

I don't earn any more vaca time than I get now till I've been employed for 10 years. :lol: How sad.

[Bridget]

It all depends for me. I closed a week when my mom died. Closed one day when
I had Sawyer. Will likely close up to a week to visit Canada.
It makes it hard for my daycare families when I take time off.

[Cosmosmom]

What kind of vacation time do y'all get? It's some sort of EU law here, so people here get typically 25 days a year. (5 working weeks)

I just got bumped up...first four years at my job I got 23 days but that was vacation, sick and holidays (since I'm a hospital employee, no paid holidays automatically). I now get 28 days since I have been there for over four years.

I am also in a very lucky position....I'm salaried so I get paid the whole day as long as I work at least four hours of it. So if I leave for 1-2 hours early or go to a doc appt, I don't have to take those hours away. I do sometimes work more than 8 hours or eat at my desk...but it's not extreme. Most library requests or work can wait until the next day. Once in a while someone comes in with a request that they need ASAP related to urgent patient care....at that point i will stay late and move heaven and earth to get the doc what he/she needs.

DH has been at his job a bit more than 3 years (first year he was with a temp agency). He gets 10-12 vacation days a year I think. No sick time (he's only called in once in four years....that was this year when we had well over a foot of snow and the plows hadn't gotten to our street and our cars were getting stuck). he also gets I believe 9 paid holidays.

[Cosmosmom]

what is worse even is maternity leave. I just double checked because I was reading in adoptive families magazine that most adoptive parents can use FMLA for leave but not STD to pay for it...a mom who gives birth can. No way can I save up THAT much PTO to pay for leave. Luckily, I can use STD to pay for my maternity leave...after a bit over four years, I have five weeks saved up. That will be paid out at 65% of my regular pay. I will likely be able to save up another 1-2 weeks before we get placed.

I am not sure if Wisconsin is the one that allows STD to be used or my employer....but it sounds like that is not common in the US.

I get that I won't have a physical recovery...but like my bff said, I will need just as much time to get to know my baby and bond with my baby as she did with hers.

[missychrissy]

Maternity leave sucks in the US, but it's worse for adoptive parents. :(

My vaca time doesn't include sick or holiday days. They're separate for me. I accumulate 3.7 sick hours (or 3.8?) every pay period, and I have 11 paid holidays a year. We get the week between Christmas and New Years paid off, and we don't have to use our time for that. We get 3 Personal days a year, but they come out of our sick time, if we have it.

[daylilies]

DH gets 4 weeks vacation-he's been there for 10 years.

[missychrissy]

While I was poking around Cornell's benefits site, I found that they have Cornell Children's Tuition Scholarship that will pay 50% tuition and administrative costs for my kids...after I've been there 4 years. So it won't help Bobbie this year, but next year she'll be able to apply. Sweet!

She decided not to go to Elmira College after all because of the expense, but I was telling her maybe she should now. Between Cornell's contribution and her 10,000/year scholarship she received from Elmira, she'd only have to pay $7,500 a year for 3 years, 25,000 for her first year. It's $35,000/year full price.

Heck, that $7,500/year estimate is before pell/tap grants. She might be able to go there and only have to pay for some of her first year. I'm not sure what her pell/tap awards are yet.

[missychrissy]

...am I wrong to be annoyed that her Guidance Counselor wasn't aware of that scholarship program at Cornell? Candor is like 15 minutes away from Cornell and I'm sure I'm not the only parent that works there. You'd think the GC would have let Bobbie know she might be eligible for it.

My own excuse for not knowing is Cornell is horrible about letting people know what they might be eligible for. They have a daycare assistance program that I didn't know about till after I'd been there a whole year. The only way I found out was I received a survey asking me, as a parent, how I felt about the daycare grant. I was like...what grant? I filled out the survey and let them know how they sucked for not telling me about it when I was hired.

[Cosmosmom]

I really miss the vacation, holiday and sick time being separate. Where I was before, I got 12 sick days a year, 12 days of vacation, and all the big holidays paid. And that was pretty much right after six months on the job. And I had super insurance...basically it was 100 a month for family and everything was 100% covered as long as I had it done there (teaching hospital with medical college).
course pay wasn't so hot....and it's been over four years so it might have changed.

I get much less time off and more normal insurance but double the pay (I did go from being an assistant to the actual librarian but I still make about 10K more than their starting librarians....and cost of living is cheaper up here).

[Cosmosmom]

...am I wrong to be annoyed that her Guidance Counselor wasn't aware of that scholarship program at Cornell? Candor is like 15 minutes away from Cornell and I'm sure I'm not the only parent that works there. You'd think the GC would have let Bobbie know she might be eligible for it.

My own excuse for not knowing is Cornell is horrible about letting people know what they might be eligible for. They have a daycare assistance program that I didn't know about till after I'd been there a whole year. The only way I found out was I received a survey asking me, as a parent, how I felt about the daycare grant. I was like...what grant? I filled out the survey and let them know how they sucked for not telling me about it when I was hired.


My GC in HS did NOTHING for me. In fact she royally screwed me out of major scholarship money because they required her to send in my transcript...which she didn't do on time. My first plan was to go to Creighton in Omaha and be a pharmacist. As much as that screwed me up for a year to have my plans not work, turned out ok that I stayed in WI and got to meet my DH and follow a different path.

As far as benefits, I have found that most places don't advertise that a whole ton and you have to be proactive in finding out what you can get. it's to their benefit if people don't claim the benefits...but than they can say well we offer them...

[Gwenn]

Chrissy, that's great about the scholarship. Bobbie should definitely go if that school has what she wants academically. If Cornell would meet her needs better, she can wait a year and get the discount.

I get 5 sick days and 5 personal days per year. I can take sick time out of my personal days if necessary but not the other way around, and we can carry them over from year to year although I think they've given us a max. People used to accrue months worth of sick leave and then cash in all those days when they retired for a substantial amount of money, but I think they changed their policy to state that we can only keep 5 years worth. Irrelevant in my case - I take my sick days. Although I don't get sick as often in this new position so maybe I'll let some accrue eventually. We don't get "vacation" days.

We also get paid holidays (Thanksgiving, winter break, etc.) Summer is off without pay although I have my pay prorated so some is withheld during the year and I will still get a paycheck in the summer, which is really nice. I'd feel guilty about all the time I have off except I make about $15K less per year than I would if I didn't work for the district - and some of the contractors make that much more and also work over the summer (in nursing homes, etc.) so they make even more.

ETA: It's hard on the hourly staff, though. They don't get paid over breaks and holidays as they aren't on salary. I can't help but think that would just suck, because schools have lots of days like grading days, govt holidays, etc. that there is no school so the hourly staff doesn't work.

[missychrissy]

What I wouldn't give for a 10-month position. *sigh* I'm not aware of any 10-month IT positions at Cornell though. Maybe an administrative assistant one. I'd totally go for it if it were a Class D level at least. Then I wouldn't lose much pay.

[Gwenn]

What I wouldn't give for a 10-month position. *sigh* I'm not aware of any 10-month IT positions at Cornell though. Maybe an administrative assistant one. I'd totally go for it if it were a Class D level at least. Then I wouldn't lose much pay.

Every so often I think of going to work for myself and then when I think of my summer vacations and regular paycheck I drop the idea. Hope that doesn't make me sound lazy, but I just like having time to be myself and not have to worry about stuff. When I first took this job, my thought process was that I'd have summers off to spend with my kids but who knows if that will ever happen...

[AmeriBrit]

I think the biggest thing that holds us back from moving to the US is the work ethic and healthcare situation. I do miss the people and scenery though and a lot of the other cultural stuff....sigh.

[3andMe]

Soren slept like a rock star last night -- ie, he woke up choking on his own vomit at 2:30 AM. It was scary, and I was glad he was in bed with us (except for the mess on the sheets). It just came erupting out of nowhere and was almost soundless except for a little gurgling and then the crying. So dh cleaned up Soren and I cleaned up the bed, and then we all went back to bed and I nursed Soren almost to sleep and it happened again... all over the bed. Vomit explosion.

We only had one more set of clean sheets, so I took Soren out to the living room after that and held him until he fell asleep. By the time I got back to bed, it was 5 AM and then Claire wanted to wake up. I convinced her it wasn't time, but 30 minutes later she soaked through her pull-up and wet the bed. So I'm up for the day, since 2:30 AM, and just discovered Soren is getting diarrhea, too. I think it's going to be a long day.

I consider myself an experienced mom by now, and I've never seen anything like that vomit out of sound sleep before.

[daylilies]

Poor Soren! I'm glad he was there with you. I'd never heard of throwing up while in a sound sleep either (except in passed out celebrity situations, like you said)
Bridget, I know I said I was going to get the book from the library on Friday but I was thrown off track because DH had the day off so we both went to pick him up from school and went off to do other things and I completely forgot. We've both had a bad cold over the last few days anyway so I didn't want either one of us hanging around the library for too long. If we feel better on Tuesday we'll go.
Did anyone see the moon last night? I guess it was supposed to look bigger than usual, but it looked the same here.

[Bridget]

Lydia, poor baby and poor you!:hugs:I do have to admit that the slept like a rockstar comment was awesome.

[3andMe]

Lydia, poor baby and poor you!:hugs:I do have to admit that the slept like a rockstar comment was awesome.

Yup. I know I'm on APA too much when I'm lying in bed dripping in puke and all I'm thinking of is the best way to phrase my post. :laugh:

[Bridget]

Oh, Kate. I started the book. Sorry I didn't wait but I'm sure you won't have a problem catching up. I'm only on page 29 and I started it friday. Every time my kids see me reading they bring me a pile of books to read to them.
the book is awesome. It's really speaking to me right now. I think it will speak to you too. I relate with Buddhism more than any other religion.
Savana is letting me take her to get her unruly hair cut today and I'm thrilled. It's always snarly and her bangs hang to her nose. I will have to get all the tangles out before we go so they don't call cps on me. :laugh: It's bad. She hates her hair being brushed and it's a battle I can't have some days.

[Bridget]

Yup. I know I'm on APA too much when I'm lying in bed dripping in puke and all I'm thinking of is the best way to phrase my post. :laugh:
:laugh: Totally! I have caught myself doing the same!

[missychrissy]

Every so often I think of going to work for myself and then when I think of my summer vacations and regular paycheck I drop the idea. Hope that doesn't make me sound lazy, but I just like having time to be myself and not have to worry about stuff. When I first took this job, my thought process was that I'd have summers off to spend with my kids but who knows if that will ever happen...

I don't think that makes you sound lazy at all. You have a great position and are wise enough to keep it. I don't blame you one bit.


I think the biggest thing that holds us back from moving to the US is the work ethic and healthcare situation. I do miss the people and scenery though and a lot of the other cultural stuff....sigh.

Honestly, I think if I could find employment for myself in another country I'd go for it for just those reasons. I'm sure it's not easy, but the healthcare and vacation times would far outweigh missing what's familiar. The few times I've looked at working abroad, you really need to have a specialty, which I lack. :laugh:


Did anyone see the moon last night? I guess it was supposed to look bigger than usual, but it looked the same here.

I saw it. It was big, but honestly I wouldn't have known it was bigger than other times it's appeared big to me if I didn't previously read about how it was special. I took pics from my cell phone, but they look like crap and don't really show how large it appeared.

Lydia, that's so terrifying about Soren. I'm glad he was with you.

[Gwenn]

Soren slept like a rock star last night -- ie, he woke up choking on his own vomit at 2:30 AM.

That must have been really scary, and I hope your day improves. But that comment was awesome!


Yup. I know I'm on APA too much when I'm lying in bed dripping in puke and all I'm thinking of is the best way to phrase my post. :laugh:

:laugh:


Honestly, I think if I could find employment for myself in another country I'd go for it for just those reasons. I'm sure it's not easy, but the healthcare and vacation times would far outweigh missing what's familiar. The few times I've looked at working abroad, you really need to have a specialty, which I lack. :laugh:

It's actually kind of a dream of mine to go work overseas for a year or so. I need to speak English for my job, but I'd love to spend some time in England or in Ireland. And those are both close enough to France that I could travel over there and practice my French. I did some research and apparently my profession is in shortage in Britain so it would make it easier to get a visa and all that. But with DH and the animals and the house and everything, I don't see that ever happening.

I actually have thought if I'd had some more warning about DH deploying, and if it he hadn't left in the middle of one school year and come home in the middle of another, I would have tried to go for that year.

[daylilies]

Yup. I know I'm on APA too much when I'm lying in bed dripping in puke and all I'm thinking of is the best way to phrase my post. :laugh:

I just burst out laughing because that is so me. Things happen and I write APA posts in my head. LOL

Oh, Kate. I started the book. Sorry I didn't wait but I'm sure you won't have a problem catching up. I'm only on page 29 and I started it friday. Every time my kids see me reading they bring me a pile of books to read to them.
the book is awesome. It's really speaking to me right now. I think it will speak to you too. I relate with Buddhism more than any other religion.
Savana is letting me take her to get her unruly hair cut today and I'm thrilled. It's always snarly and her bangs hang to her nose. I will have to get all the tangles out before we go so they don't call cps on me. :laugh: It's bad. She hates her hair being brushed and it's a battle I can't have some days.

It's okay! I have a bunch of books I'm supposed to be reading right now including one for a book club next month that I haven't even started--I may have to drop out.

Good luck with the haircut! Josh needs one too, but like I said, we both have colds :( Plus I'm waiting for a coupon because he likes to go to a kids place that is kind of expensive, but they're always sending out coupons.

[Cosmosmom]

I have considered moving to Canada myself...especially when I see jobs there in my field. Not like the weather could be much worse than it is where I am now. :) Plus I already have sort of a Canadian accent, at least I have been told that (tend to say eh a lot at the end of sentences). But I'm way too attached to our family...didn't even really want to move to another state when we were looking. Plus now I have my house and I'm super attached to it. So much that even if we won a big lottery, I am pretty sure we wouldn't move...just might do some upgrades like finish the basement and different kitchen counters.

I have heard that Dh's stepdad was one to puke in his sleep. Yet another thing that MIL hated about him. Baby puke is bad enough but grown man puke on you when you are sleeping...whole nother thing.

[daylilies]

OMG. I'm sorry but I don't think I could handle an adult puking on me.

[Gwenn]

Yeah, I couldn't handle that either. Did he do that drunk or was he sober? I'm not sure which would be worse...

[Cosmosmom]

Nope I don't think that he was drunk...and it happened more than once. Not sure WHY he couldn't just wake up a little and get to the floor at least or even a garbage can. Blech.

I'm not even sure that I have ever seen DH throw up and we have been together 13 years (he has only had more than a cold once and he's never been drunk).

It's almost 3pm, I'm still in my jammies and don't plan on getting out of them. It's cold and grey and raining...and Dh is sleeping so I have been on the couch watching TV most of the day.
Just when the snow is almost gone we are supposed to get more Tuesday night and into Wednesday I think. Wednesday is the second adoption class...9-5. OMG it's so hard to sit in class that long! did it for years but so not used to it anymore. At work I can change what I'm doing when for the most part and get up and walk around whenever I want for the most part.

[missychrissy]

Rich doesn't get sick either...thank goodness. I mean, I know he has since we've been together, but he's very private about it and always makes it to the toilet. Me, I have to have a bucket next to me if I'm really sick because just sitting up can make it come, and I can't stop it. :(

I just went on another shopping trip for Shannon. I hope she likes the things I picked out for her...like it or not, she's gonna do some cross stitch :P I figured it was something that was easy because even I can do it.

[daylilies]

DH always made it to the toilet too :P Or had a bucket.
I've never tried cross stitch. It's really easy?

[daylilies]

I don't know if it's awesome or really dorky that I just helped a friend find a book on google without knowing more than a brief synopsis. LOL

[missychrissy]

It's awesome!

And yes, I think cross stitch is really easy. I mean, I'm not someone that sews or nits or anything and I was able to figure out how to do it on my own. So it can't be hard.

[daylilies]

Thanks :P
DH just called and he's on his way home...there's something I wanted to do before he got home and I can't remember now! Hope it wasn't important.

[missychrissy]

I kinda wanted to go out to dinner tonight, but the girls had friends over and they stayed late into the day. It's easily $100 for just us and I'm trying to be careful about spending extra money so we have it for a down payment on a house and all...so we skipped going to dinner. I'm pretty lax and the kids can stay as long as they want, but it's sorta a bummer.

And now it's nearly 8 and I fear they've moved in because no one is making any motions to go home! :lol: I might have to ask when they're going to go if it gets any later.

[3andMe]

Update on how the rest of my day is going:


http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n70/lydchapman/IMG_0917.jpg

They got into the markers while I was cooking dinner. And I was so happy they were coloring! At least they're washable. And at least all of my linens are washed and my down comforter is nearly dry and dinner is almost ready and I have a nearly full glass of wine at hand. Sigh.

[girlwonder]

Oh, Lydia, it looks like it has been a long day. :laugh:

JoJo has been such a pill this weekend, all whiny and bossy. Ugh. Not a joy to be around.

We did manage to get out and see Black Swan last night. Two great big gigantic thumbs up for that movie. What a gorgeous movie and the sound engineering was so well done. I loved how they kept in all the sounds that you normally don't hear at the ballet that illustrate what hard work it is. And I am glad we saw it on the big screen because I might have missed some of the details (like the recurring pin-feathers on her skin or the unpredictable sounds of wings flapping). What a great movie. I love it when you see a movie that makes sense on all levels. And all the icky stuff didn't bother me too much, because it was a part of the story. Although afterwards, my husband said that maybe we are too inured to yucky stuff from watching "Spartacus" for the past month! Anyone else watch Spartacus? LOVE that series, but it is so gory and bloody that it was hard to watch at first.

[girlwonder]

Oh, and I read this a few days ago and thought it was interesting. Makes me feel a little better about my laissez-faire attitude towards teaching JoJo in an organized manner:

http://www.slate.com/id/2288402/

[Bridget]

:laugh: Lydia! A day in the life eh?
I really want to see Black Swan. Problem being that while dbf will watch it, he won't likely appreciate it and I cannot hold my eyes open to watch a movie these days anyway.

I took Savana to get her haircut. I went against my die hard rule and we went to Walmart. It was the only cost cutter type place that was open today around here. I don't think it was much cheaper than going to my aveda salon so I think I'll take her there next time.
She really did not want to cut her hair. It's just certain change that she resists so adamantly. Anyway, she said she'd do it and when we got there we were walking in I felt her whole body stiffen and she said she didn't like the place we were at and she didn't want to do it. I just kept coaxing her and didn't show any annoyance or anger at all and she very begrudgingly went to the chair. The poor woman cutting her hair was trying so hard to make conversation with Savana to put her more at ease and everything she asked was crash and burn. It made me feel like we are so not normal.
What's your favorite tv show? What's your favorite candy? What's your favorite dinner? Let me guess, hotdogs? Did Santa come this year? Is the Easter Bunny going to come? Has the tooth fairy come yet?
Not one of those questions were relevent to Savana's life. The cutest thing in the world was that she answered all the santa/easter bunny/tooth fairy questions as if she believed. She said Santa came and she said she was excited about the Easter bunny. When I asked her on the way home what she was thinking about when Rachel asked her those questions she said, "I just didn't want to hurt her feelings in case she believes in that stuff." :wub:
Okay, do get home and I notice there's a chunk of bang that's longer than the rest. I ask Savana to bring me her scissors so we can fix it. She has a small, sharp pair of fiskars. I really trust her with things like that. She's like a little safely moniter and would never misuse them. But she came out and was overjoyed to show me she evened it out herself. :shocker: That chunk is now waaaay shorter than the rest. Like, an inch off her forehead.:laugh:

[girlwonder]

Bridget - would he be more interested if he knew that it contains the most graphic depiction of a lesbian sex that I have ever seen in a mainstream movie?:laugh: :laugh::laugh:

[3andMe]

Oh, and I read this a few days ago and thought it was interesting. Makes me feel a little better about my laissez-faire attitude towards teaching JoJo in an organized manner:

http://www.slate.com/id/2288402/

That's a great article. It's also interesting, because one of the particular things that turned me off about the Montessori preschool I toured a year ago was how in one room Claire was playing with a set of different-sized wooden pegs that fit into different holes. She was putting them in and rearranging them, and some of them didn't fit and I asked her if she thought that was right. The teacher came right over and showed her which one went in which hole. She would have gotten it on her own, or at least I would have let her try to figure it out for a while. I'm pretty sure that's not the Montessori method, but if that's what they demonstrate for a parent on a tour I don't think I'd want my kids in that classroom.

I've been reading a lot more about how the content of the learning doesn't matter so much at all - everyone's going to know their abcs and their numbers eventually (although dh scoffed at that and held my sister up as an example for never learning math), but the ability to delay gratification, the curiosity, the patience, the concentration, everything that is not memorization and test-centric, is the best for learning in a global sense. My children are very excited about learning to read and learning about numbers, but only because dh and I are so enthralled by them. We point out how useful and fun they are. Plus we just can't read to them as many hours of the day that they wish we could.

Bridget, I'm so glad the haircut went as well as I can imagine it having gone, especially with the nonsensical chatter. Savana is so sweet to answer as to not hurt her feelings. I need a picture of her new haircut, chunk missing and all. I have the twins get their hair cut with dh at the same time, so they can all feel like it's special occasion.

Katy, back to media- you reminded me to tell Myles that dh and I have been watching Mad Men and we LOVE it!!!!!!! So much that I think about it during the day, as if it was a new boyfriend. It takes us about three separate evenings to finish a movie.

[daylilies]

Bridget - would he be more interested if he knew that it contains the most graphic depiction of a lesbian sex that I have ever seen in a mainstream movie?:laugh: :laugh::laugh:

:laugh: That was a really good movie. But oh my the body horror. I couldn't handle it. I just started looking away whenever she starting screwing around with her fingers or toes or started taking off clothes. LOL

My mom just sent me a picture of the kittens she got in October.
http://i52.tinypic.com/fve351.jpg

[Gwenn]

Bridget, Savana is such a sweetheart. Imagine a child her age being that upset but still worried about someone else's feelings - that's hard for me to do at 37!

Katy, that was a great article. That's exactly why I hate flashcards, DVDs, etc. for kids, too. Kids just don't learn that way.

Lydia, sounds like a rough day. Enjoy your glass of wine and your clean bedding. You deserve it.

Black Swan grossed me out, too. I really enjoyed the psychological aspect of all of it but I thought it went a little over the top. Good movie, though.

I went out to Trader Joe's and the cashier was talking in this fake accent like you hear people use at Renaissance fairs. I was a little amused. Then I went to Starbucks on the way home and the cashier there was using one of those artificially deep, slightly too loud radio announcer voices. I kept looking around for a TV camera or something, it was so odd hearing two cashiers in a row with fake voices. Am I just overly sensitive to this kind of thing? I suspect I must be.

[missychrissy]

Bless Savannah's heart for thinking about the beauticians feelings :wub:

I couldn't watch Black Swan...I don't like graphic injuries at all. It would make me sick.

Those kitties are adorable!

Too weird about the cashiers using fake voices. wth was that about?

Off to read the article about learning...I confess I never really worried about it at all. I think maybe it was because I was so young when I had the girls. Thankfully, none seem to be worse for wear because of it. Poor girls! lol

[Bridget]

Off to read the article about learning...I confess I never really worried about it at all. I think maybe it was because I was so young when I had the girls. Thankfully, none seem to be worse for wear because of it. Poor girls! lol

Not at all! That's the whole point, I think. We worry too much. There is so much to be learned just letting kids PLAY.
I love the cuuriculum I am doing with Savana. The kindergarten has no "academics". It's all art, gardening, sewing, cooking, stories, and just embracing the rhythm of a day.
I have never pushed the abc's and 123's yet a few days ago she was talking and said, "Maybe when I'm 12 and Kai is 11 and Sawyer is 7 we can go to that Disney place."
There was a lot of pauses and finger counting but i was :shocker: thay she was able to figure that out. Kids naturally want to learn and my opinion, when they are young there is much more to be learned from the garden or from making muffins than from a worksheet.

[missychrissy]

We kinda had a similar moment last night with Conner. The new dinosaur book I bought him (that he initially threw in the garbage!) gives estimates on how many feet each dinosaur was. Some were as little as 3 feet (like me! he says) and some as big as 90 feet. He just knew that the 40 foot one was smaller than the 90 foot one. I was like :shocker: because I've never talked about size in that realm with him before. I was even surprised when he realized the 3 foot one was approximately his size.

[Cosmosmom]

At first I was reading your comments and was like wait, I like flashcards and memorization....that is a great for learning. Of course I had to go back and read the article and realized that it wasn't talking about grade school aged kids but 4 yr olds. Different story!
It kind of goes back a bit to the idea of when kids should be starting school. I'm a Sept baby and the cutoff by me is Sept 1st. My mom had me tested since I missed the deadline by literally days. I passed by after talking with my friends mom (a psychologist), she was told that it is better to be older in class and not younger. So I was 6 just a week after K started...pretty much always one of the oldest in the class. School was almost always fun and easy for me. I know two others in my situtation but they were pushed ahead and were the youngest in class.....and struggled throughout school.

I can't say for sure but I can see DH and I working with our kid a lot but in a fun way. And most of all tons and tons of reading starting pretty much from day one. We are both readers, already own some kids books and plan on adding a good deal more. And while my library is not useful to kids....I know my way around our public one. :) DH and I both know a lot in different areas to answer questions...but if we don't know something, we know how to help a child find out.
And games....we both really like playing games...don't have too many of those for little kids but will be buying them and playing them. Great way to learn.

[missychrissy]

Speaking of reading to your kids...does anyone else think it's incredibly hard to pronounce dinosaur names? :lol: I know I'm screwing them up royally, but it seems like every book we get includes a new one I've never heard of!!

[Cosmosmom]

Um yes I think I would have a hard time with that. I might leave dinosaurs up to DH...I wasn't into them and he was when little.

[daylilies]

Some of them are weird...I'm never really sure where to put the emphasis. Josh doesn't have any dinosaur books though. He likes Dr. Seuss and classic stories. He also really likes Weird Al's children's book :)

[Cosmosmom]

Uggg, I'm irritated with my bff right now...and thus not emailing her back until I am not. She said something that is really offensive to me right now but I don't think that at all that she did it on purpose and probably wouldn't have said it if she had been thinking and not sleep deprived. Basically she said that she believes that bfing will raise IQ because it's like feeding an organic veggie diet and that formula is like feeding all fried junk food. But she knows that we will be doing formula with our baby when we finally get one. I get that bfing is a better option but don't feel that it's THAT much better and resent the insinuation that my baby won't be as smart because I'm feeding it the equivalent of KFC and McD's.

That said, I wonder how much of things, like intelligence/personality/likes and dislikes are inherited and how much is environment...the whole nature/nuture thing. I think that my parents for example are pretty average in intelligence to maybe a bit above average....but my sister and I were constantly read to, taught things, given a great deal of attention, played with....and I know my IQ is in the mid-upper 130's. I don't know if my sister was ever tested but we are pretty equal. DH is pretty much the same....his mom has no idea where it came from. I wonder just how much came about because of how we were raised and how much was just genetic.

[missychrissy]

I wouldn't equate formula with McDonalds food! :lol: omg!! But if it makes you feel any better, Bobbie only had breastmilk for 4 days...and look how smart she is! I know her IQ is far higher than mine.

[AbbeysMom]

Uggg, I'm irritated with my bff right now...and thus not emailing her back until I am not. She said something that is really offensive to me right now but I don't think that at all that she did it on purpose and probably wouldn't have said it if she had been thinking and not sleep deprived. Basically she said that she believes that bfing will raise IQ because it's like feeding an organic veggie diet and that formula is like feeding all fried junk food. But she knows that we will be doing formula with our baby when we finally get one. I get that bfing is a better option but don't feel that it's THAT much better and resent the insinuation that my baby won't be as smart because I'm feeding it the equivalent of KFC and McD's.

That said, I wonder how much of things, like intelligence/personality/likes and dislikes are inherited and how much is environment...the whole nature/nuture thing. I think that my parents for example are pretty average in intelligence to maybe a bit above average....but my sister and I were constantly read to, taught things, given a great deal of attention, played with....and I know my IQ is in the mid-upper 130's. I don't know if my sister was ever tested but we are pretty equal. DH is pretty much the same....his mom has no idea where it came from. I wonder just how much came about because of how we were raised and how much was just genetic.

My sis is a member of Mensa and was formula fed. Makes no difference in intelligence IMO. I think the big difference is in immunity, bf babies do tend to get sick less. When you do have your LO, supplementing with probiotics can help, since there are no live good bugs in formula but there are a ton in breast milk.

I received all kinds of harsh comments when I couldn't bf. I really beat myself up over it too. I think it's awesome that bfing is being promoted so much more than it used to be, but it baffles me why people need to bash ffing mommas in the process.

[Cosmosmom]

Yeah and I was a formula baby as well as my bff. I know part of it is her own guilt because she is back to work and pumping and coming up a little short each day so the daycare is having to give a few ounces of formula. I'm getting less irritated but still might wait until tomorrow to write her back.

The whole genetics thing is interesting to me but scary too. I mean I figured that if we had a bio baby, we sort of know what we would get. I wouldn't expect an athlete to come from us....that is basically NOWHERE in the family on either side for example. With adoption, so much more is unknown and we could end up with an athlete.
But than again when I look at my cousins who are adopted, I can see so much of their moms in their personalities so there is definitely a lot there for the nuture aspect.

Interesting was the one video we saw last week comparing adoption in the past to today. They actually said, well this baby is very bright and above average so will go to this couple because mr. smith is above average....but this baby is dull and average so will go to the jones who are just average. Ok, but how in the world can you tell by looking at new babies what their intelligence is. I could kind of understand when they were matching up babies with parents based on eye and hair color since it was back when things were closed and people didn't usually say the child was adopted.

[missychrissy]

The nature/nurture question is really interesting to me. My bil met his current wife when she was already pregnant with their oldest son. His bio dad is black (mom is not) but Nate (my bil) has been there since his birth and that boy is now 16 and has mannerisms just like Nate. I forget, even with his black skin color, that's he's genetically not 'one of us' so to speak. In all aspects that matter, he is. He's as much my nephew as Nate's biological children.

On the flip side, I have a cousin that was born to one of my mom's sisters that has a worse case of mental illness than my mom. She tried to raise Connie herself for nearly 2 years, but she just couldn't. Connie was adopted out and raised by a family in Candor (near where we currently live). She grew to be a beautiful, intelligent young woman. She was a cheerleader in high school and is currently in college with the goal of becoming a pediatrician. Even though her intelligence would have been there for her to do that if she was raised by my aunt, I have no doubt she wouldn't have been able to do it if her mother hadn't made the selfless decision to give her up for adoption when she did. She's in her early to mid 20's and shows no signs of mental illness whatsoever. Given that it usually appears in the teens or early 20's, I think she's home free.

[AmeriBrit]

Ah, I wouldn't let that comment about the formula bother me, Jennifer. I think people feel really defensive about breast feeding since a lot of them get hassled about it. Both my boys are formula babies and are A-OK. :)

I think the nature vs. nurture thing is sooo interesting. I can see a lot of it in my own family. I feel lucky to have inherited my dad's traits since he's intelligent and sarcastic (like me!) but my mom is very bubbly but a bit of an air head.

[Ky'sMom]

Ah, I wouldn't let that comment about the formula bother me, Jennifer. I think people feel really defensive about breast feeding since a lot of them get hassled about it. Both my boys are formula babies and are A-OK. :)

I think the nature vs. nurture thing is sooo interesting. I can see a lot of it in my own family. I feel lucky to have inherited my dad's traits since he's intelligent and sarcastic (like me!) but my mom is very bubbly but a bit of an air head.

I agree. I was formula fed as well and I think I am rather intelligent. I was in gifted programs all through school and also had an IQ in the 130s, don't know what it is now since I haven't been tested since high school.

But I also contribute it to genetics. Even though my parents weren't the best, they didn't do a lot with us, but we are still pretty bright IMO. My mom read to me a lot as a toddler though. I remember her trying to skip pages and me telling her how she was reading the story wrong. Pretty much everyone in our family are very intelligent when it comes to academics and book smarts. My dad was a drug addict much of my childhood but he could do all kinds of math problems in his head, like whole strings of numbers with addition or subtraction, percentages and the like. He still can. He is really smart and so is my mom, but they just focused on the wrong things when they were young. My grandparents were all pretty well off and had high ranking jobs and my aunts are also all pretty intelligent academically. Pretty much all of us drank formula since that was what people fed their babies primarily where I'm from. My grandma told me once that the hospital staff told her that formula was more healthy that BM since scientist actually knew what was in it and knew that the baby was getting all the vitamins they needed and you didn't know with breastmilk what your baby was consuming :eyeroll:.

I also feel the immunological reasons are of the biggest benefit of BFing. And really I decided to BF after reading how it cuts the chances of a baby developing allergies and asthma since I suffered from both as a kid as well as frequent illnesses.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

Interestingly enough, I was the ff baby and I was very healthy and not sick much at all. My sister who never once took a bottle, got sick a lot more...probably since that was when I started school and would bring things home. And she has a lot of ear problems.

Chrissy, I really liked your nuture stories. :) I hope that it is more nuture because I would love to pass on our traits and have our child be more like us.

Thanks Ashley! Both your boys do seem to be pretty A-ok! :)

[Gwenn]

We talked a lot about nature/nurture in my classes. From what I understand, we are all born with a certain potential - some have a higher potential, and some have a lower potential. Some experiences, like neglect or disease, will lower potential. Broadening a child's horizons, giving them lots of things to see and do, lots of books and concepts and things to explore, will help to maximize that potential. But it isn't possible to raise a child's IQ either by breastfeeding or any other way. Sadly, it is possible to lower it, though. But not by breast feeding/formula feeding. The Genie story comes to mind - I'm fascinated by Genie actually.

Particularly with language, our brains are wired to learn language in a unique way (chimps and other apes can learn to make signs, and dogs can recognize words and hand signs but can't learn grammar ... although I read somewhere that dolphins use a form of grammatical structure). But, we can't learn language locked in a closet the way Genie was. Just like an ape, she never did learn grammar although she did learn words. So a child needs good quality input to develop good language skills. But of course some children's brains find it more difficult to acquire language (what we call specific language impairment) and no matter how good the input is, they don't learn well.

On the other end, you may have a parent who didn't have a lot of stimulation in childhood so didn't come close to their max genetic potential ... but through providing good input to their children their children come closer to their potential if that makes sense.

That topic fascinates me, obviously. DH's dad was adopted and he loves to try to tell me it's all about nurture and nature has nothing to do with it. I shoot him down every time.

[The10Eels]

I just got news about a car accident back home... Two kids I went to school with were killed, and the third passenger (also went to school with) was hurt pretty bad, and is in the hospital...

:( Makes you realize how fast things can change

[Gwenn]

I just got news about a car accident back home... Two kids I went to school with were killed, and the third passenger (also went to school with) was hurt pretty bad, and is in the hospital...

:( Makes you realize how fast things can change

:shocker:

I'm so sorry to hear that.

[missychrissy]

That topic fascinates me, obviously. DH's dad was adopted and he loves to try to tell me it's all about nurture and nature has nothing to do with it. I shoot him down every time.

It fascinates me too and everything you said makes perfect sense to me.


I just got news about a car accident back home... Two kids I went to school with were killed, and the third passenger (also went to school with) was hurt pretty bad, and is in the hospital...

:( Makes you realize how fast things can change

:hugs: I hate to hear things like that. I'm so sorry. Any word on how the 3rd passenger is doing?

[Bridget]

Morning ladies.
Ash, I am so sorry about your friends. :hugs:
I am feeling so much better about Savana. Her behavior has improved so much. Yesterday we went to the zoo and she said to me that she was not going to bring her nose wipe with her because she felt like she didn't need it. She has not left the house without one in months.
She hasn't had any fall out tantrums lately
Ohhh, my cousin came over last night. My other cousin, her sister, has a seventeen year old daughter who just brought a girl home and introduced her as her girlfriend. The family is struggling with accepting this,especially dad. What killed me was that she kept saying they love her regardless of her "choices".
I didn't know what to say because they are very devout catholics and believe that the "choice" to be homosexual is a sin and nothing I say is going to change that. But I did mention that my brother hid his sexuality for years because he was ashamed and that hiding that has damaged him in ways that will likely never be repaired. It's impossible to love yourself if you are ashamed of who you are. And if there is one thing universal about loving parents it's that you want your child to love themselves.

[3andMe]

Oh man, I'm a wreck. Soren's pukefest was nothing compared to what I suffered last night. I hate throwing up with a passion. I took multiple anti-nausea meds and antidiarrheal meds and still spent all night in the bathroom. Fortunately, dh really came through, and even though he's never put Soren to sleep before, he managed to get him quieted down and back to sleep a couple of times when I couldn't handle even the small motion of the back-patting.

Then I stumbled out of bed this morning when the twins woke up early, and Soren threw up all over the bed again.

---------

Ash, I'm sorry to hear about your friends.

[The10Eels]

It fascinates me too and everything you said makes perfect sense to me.



:hugs: I hate to hear things like that. I'm so sorry. Any word on how the 3rd passenger is doing?
He was in surgery last I heard last night...

[daylilies]

Oh Lydia, yuck. I hope you guys get better soon.
Sorry about your friends Ash :( Hope the surgery goes well.

[demigraf]

Ash - I'm sorry about your friends in the car accident. You're so right. News like that or the tsunami in Japan just makes you realize how all the stuff you worry about from day to day is goofy by comparison.

Lydia - Feel better! Have you tried ice under your tongue? It's an old wives' nausea cure from the "old country", but it actually does work, say for like when I got amoebic dysentery from drinking the water.

Speaking of the old country, an unexpected bonus to living where I do now is the high concentration of people of my ethnicity in the area. Bodhi will grow up seeing people who look like him, and the area is way more diverse in general. It's a huge contrast to rich, blonde mommyland, where we last lived. Not that I have anything terribly against rich blonde mommies, except that they all seemed to drive the same gas guzzlers they didn't really need and made the occasional out-of-touch comment, like "I can't understand why ANYONE wouldn't buy a seat for their infant on a plane!" Oh yeah, and it didn't matter how infrequent a person came to babysit for a child; she was always called "the nanny".

Speaking of old wives, I'd like to become one someday.

Bridget, that's great that Savana seems to be cycling out of the tantrum phase she was in. Do you think it might have also been something developmental?

Chrissy, saw the pics of Jesi on FB. The captions were precious. I have to say, she looked quite cool!

I'll hop back on here next when I have more free time. I always feel behind these days!

[daylilies]

I showed Josh the pictures of Jessica and he says "I like it because once I saw toys on the tv and their hair was like that." I think he's talking about those trolls with the crazy hair, LOL

[missychrissy]

I showed Josh the pictures of Jessica and he says "I like it because once I saw toys on the tv and their hair was like that." I think he's talking about those trolls with the crazy hair, LOL
:lol: omg that's funny!!!

Jesi was a little offended that some older people (70+) were staring at her in the restaurant last night. I told her that that's the risk you take when you do something so daring, but my advice was to kill them (an arbitrary 'them') with kindness. If anyone were to be so bold as to say something rude to her, I told her to remain her sweet self and put them to shame that way.

I can't believe I'm defending her mohawk, but what's done is done. She looks like a freak (said with lots of love) but that doesn't give anyone permission to treat her bad. She can take good natured ribbing...but I think she's a little anxious about someone older saying something downright mean to her.

[missychrissy]

Speaking of old wives, I'd like to become one someday.
:laugh: That was random!

Ash, I hope your friend comes through surgery ok.

Feel better Lydia. I too hate being sick like nothing else in this world.

[AbbeysMom]

Speaking of old wives, I'd like to become one someday.

Me too, or a gypsy. Or just a bingo-playing old lady with her own set of lucky markers and a good-size garden.

Speaking of, my garden is looking ***fabulous*** already. But now my house is a wreck because all I do is putter around my garden.


---
So sorry about your friends Ash, hope that the third passenger can pull through surgery and have a quick recovery. :vibes:

---
:hugs: to Lydia too. I don't mind puking personally, I know I'm weird. It just never bothered me all that much. :shame:

---

[missychrissy]

According to my husband, I'm already an old lady. He's been calling me his 'old lady' since I was 16 years old!

[Bridget]

:laugh: You ladies are funny today.
Kai is pretending to make soup with the playdoh we made today. He just came up to me with the pot and said, "You have to try this. I first made it without the lemon juice and it was splendid and messy. Then I put in the lemon juice and it's wonderful!"
:laugh: God I love this boy.

[daylilies]

Aww, too cute, Bridget.
I just remembered, DH said to me "Make a list of what you want in your garden this year (we just moved in last year and I didn't do the garden yet). I said "Oh I don't think I want to do a garden" and he said "I'm going to do it." !!
I think he hopes that if he makes the initiative, I'll get into it and we can all spend time working on it. Should be interesting!
I think I want tomatoes, but I'm not sure what else. Anyone know what's good for beginner gardeners?

[missychrissy]

I don't have a clue. I leave all that up to Rich. He grows tomatoes, beans, peas, squash, cucumbers, lettuce, carrots, potatoes, corn and beats...I'm sure there's more but that's all I can remember. I don't do one thing in regards to the garden. Except eat it. :D

We haven't had a garden at our 'new' house even though this will be our 3rd year here. I guess we never felt like it was going to be our permanent home.

[Cosmosmom]

Well once we are done getting snow....have a winter storm warning or something tonight/tomorrow....I can't wait to garden.

I think that I'm doing tomatoes....maybe 3 and one cherry tomato. 1-2 green bell peppers. Cuccumbers and maybe string beans or snow peas. I started planning all sorts of things and DH freaked out and wants me to start small. :) Don't think that I will be planting until around memorial day...

[missychrissy]

Pepper! Yes, Rich plants those as well!

It's not planting time here either. We're expecting 1-3 inches and the next 'warm' day predicted isn't until the 31st...40 something. boo.

[Cosmosmom]

I'm thinking we are supposed to get around 4 inches but just a little north of me, they are looking at 10+ last I heard. happy that isn't me!

[daylilies]

Ooo, I think peas. I remember eating raw peas all the time when I was a kid and we had a garden. What about strawberries?

[missychrissy]

The Jesi saga continues...Social services visited Bobbie and Sydney at school, and then came to the house tonight complete with sheriff deputy. They were asking about Rich and Jesi and the night Rich 'grabbed' Jesi. They're referring to the night after she shaved her head and skipped school on Friday and the following Monday. Rich did get in her face and he was very vocal to her...I told you all about that.

I feel like this is a never ending nightmare. The caseworker was one of my former coworkers from mental health. Talk about humiliating. Both the caseworker and deputy tried making me feel better. They said they see this sort of thing all the time. Teens get defiant and get in trouble, then try to call social services on their parents. The deputy remembers being out here when Jesi was missing...so at least he knows she's been on the edge of trouble herself. They both felt the kids were safe and the deputy told me to just keep doing what we're doing because a lot of parents are afraid to discipline their kids. Even with his assurances, it still didn't feel good. I'm back to wondering wth I've done wrong.

Bobbie is moping because we won't be able to provide her with a car before Sept. when she goes to college. They have a car here to share, but it can't go with her. Even though I know I don't owe them a car, I'm still feeling like a failure.

[Bridget]

Jesus, Chrissy. The :hugs: emoticon just doesn't feel sufficient anymore. I'm starting to feel angry at them for putting you through this. And poor Rich. He must feel really hurt.
I agree keep doing what you're doing. I wish I could help you.

[Gwenn]

Jesus, Chrissy. The :hugs: emoticon just doesn't feel sufficient anymore. I'm starting to feel angry at them for putting you through this. And poor Rich. He must feel really hurt.
I agree keep doing what you're doing. I wish I could help you.

This exactly.

[missychrissy]

The support helps a lot. It's not just cliche...if I didn't have this board to run to, I'd be in bed crying under my covers right now.

I don't mean to make Bobbie sound selfish...her sadness probably wouldn't even bother me if it weren't for the other stuff going on. She's just talking about how she'd like things to be. I'm trying to reassure her that although it won't be perfect, things will work out for her somehow.

[daylilies]

I agree you're doing fine. I'm glad you had the deputy and caseworker's support. I wish I could do more to help! If you ever need to get away I'm probably about 4 hours away :P

[Gwenn]

I hate to keep complaining about work all the time but I got some news that really worried me. Apparently the administration is considering hiring SLP assistants (people with associate degrees who are licensed to work only under direct supervision of someone with my certification). My lead let us know in 2 sentences of an email and got a lot of concerned responses, so sent a "clarification" only to the 50% of us who work directly for the district to say that they will not be letting any district employees go. Reading between the lines, if they let the contractors go and replace them all with assistants that could well mean my job would end up as supervising assistants and doing paperwork, and nothing else. Not all district employees have their full certs as I do - maybe about 1/2 of us or possibly less than that. That's a really unappetizing prospect and I know they aren't doing it to provide us with assistance and lighten workloads. They're doing it so they don't have to pay 15K more than they are paying me for contractors. Which could also affect us as a bargaining unit wanting equal pay. Really, really bad news. Oh, and my professional association states that 1/3 of an assistant's contact hours should be directly supervised by someone with full certs. So I also suspect they'll either give us too many people to adequately supervise or a caseload that won't allow us time for adequate supervision. Yuck, yuck, yuck.

[missychrissy]

Oh Mandy, that's terrible. :( I hate hate hate when money overrides what's good for kids or anyone with challenges. I'm sure I don't have all the answers, but cutting services isn't one of them. It's just going to make things worse for a lot of people, especially the kids, in the long run.


I agree you're doing fine. I'm glad you had the deputy and caseworker's support. I wish I could do more to help! If you ever need to get away I'm probably about 4 hours away :P

Aww, thanks! Unfortunately, the caseworker that visited last night was just the one on call for after hours and he won't really have any say or impact on which way the case is decided. Not that having a 'founded' case against us is going to change anything. If Jesi skips school, she's going to hear about it.

[missychrissy]

Did you see Elizabeth Taylor died? :(

[daylilies]

Yeah :( I'm not really familiar with her work. I knew of her mostly because she was married so many times.

I picked up the Buddhism for Mothers book, finally. I almost picked up the wrong book because someone else with my quite uncommon last name also had a book on the hold shelf!

[missychrissy]

I'm not familiar with any of her work either. My boss was kinda giving me flack about that and not being aware of who Paul Newman was :lol: I mean, I recognize his name but I don't think I've ever seen a single movie that he was in.

How strange someone else shares your last name.

[daylilies]

I like Paul Newman's salad dressing :P I know some of his older movies because my mom and I used to watch them together.

Once in a while I run into someone who knows someone with my last name, but they're never anyone I know :shrug:

[missychrissy]

Rich's family is huge. There are 12 on his father's side, and most of them I've never met. Rich hasn't seen them since he was a kid. People are constantly asking if I know so-and-so or if we're related. In all honesty, they could be cousins to Rich but he doesn't even have any idea if they are or not. His family is quite dysfunctional, and what's really sad is that his father's side is the better half.

[daylilies]

That's interesting, DH doesn't know his father's side either.

[AmeriBrit]

Y'all have been busy in here lately!

I've not been online as much this week as DH has the week off, so we've just been spending a lot of time outside playing with the boys. We're off to the zoo tomorrow with them and staying in a hotel (mainly to go swimming in the in-door pool!) Looking forward to that. Oh, and we're booking our tickets to the US in the next few days...I'm so excited about that...Finally something to look forward to!!!

[missychrissy]

:hooray: That must be really exciting! More than exciting, really. I'm so happy for you!! When are you coming over? For how long?

I think I'm up a creek. Wells Fargo has asked for tax returns for 08, 09, and 10 and I cannot find 08's anywhere. She asked for them as well as the request for the IRS to send her transcripts of our return, so I just wrote her and asked if the actual return is vital. I mean, she's going to be getting the transcript anyway, right? So what's the big deal?

[Bridget]

:hooray: That must be really exciting! More than exciting, really. I'm so happy for you!! When are you coming over? For how long?

I think I'm up a creek. Wells Fargo has asked for tax returns for 08, 09, and 10 and I cannot find 08's anywhere. She asked for them as well as the request for the IRS to send her transcripts of our return, so I just wrote her and asked if the actual return is vital. I mean, she's going to be getting the transcript anyway, right? So what's the big deal?
If you call the irs, they'll send it to you, if you end up needing it.

[missychrissy]

Yeah, but our WF deadline is 3 days. IRS says it takes approximately 30.

[Gwenn]

Oh Mandy, that's terrible. :( I hate hate hate when money overrides what's good for kids or anyone with challenges. I'm sure I don't have all the answers, but cutting services isn't one of them. It's just going to make things worse for a lot of people, especially the kids, in the long run.

And that's the big part right there ... early intervention works. Help kids with stuff they're struggling when they're young, and in many cases they won't need help later. NOT helping means potentially poor grades, low-paying jobs, unemployment, prison ... the cost to society for that is SO MUCH MORE than providing early intervention while they're young! And skimping on services is almost worse. It's like saying your going to do something and never doing that.

I emailed my lead about my concerns yesterday, and today she responded to say she was worried about the same thing. Yikes.


I'm not familiar with any of her work either. My boss was kinda giving me flack about that and not being aware of who Paul Newman was :lol: I mean, I recognize his name but I don't think I've ever seen a single movie that he was in.

How strange someone else shares your last name.

I can't think of a single Paul Newman film I've actually watched but I'm sure I must have seen one or two ... but I know he was gorgeous in his day. And he does make a mean salad dressing.

My former boyfriend (the author) told me a story once about how his mother got him a job as an intern and Paul Newman come to his workplace one day. This would have been in the mid 70's maybe (the author was much older than me). Apparently all the women had their hair immaculately done, full make-up, and were dressed in their most attractive clothes. All the men were just laughing at the women over that.

Okay, so I'm glad I'm not still with him but he certainly knew how to tell an entertaining story. I really didn't do it justice there, I know.

[daylilies]

He's certainly a very good looking guy! And I love the chemistry between him and Robert Redford in Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

[missychrissy]

It must have been funny to see all the women fawning all over Paul Newman. :D I was looking at pictures of him today, and I know I wouldn't have known him if he sat next to me on a bus. His images didn't ring any bells with me. My parents weren't movie people at all. I can't recall them ever watching a movie. The first one I remember my dad watching was Pretty Woman. :lol:

I've heard of the Butch Cassidy movie with Robert Redford, but I've never seen it. I may have to watch it some Sunday when I have nothing else going on.

[Gwenn]

Just looking through a picture gallery of Elizabeth Taylor and saw one of her with Paul Newman. Seriously, I can't think of two better looking people in the same place.

http://www.google.com/images?hl=en&q=elizabeth%20taylor%20paul%20newman%20cat%20on%20 a%20hot%20tin%20roof&um=1&ie=UTF-8&source=og&sa=N&tab=wi&biw=1148&bih=587

[daylilies]

Hmm, I haven't seen that one. Heard of it though.

[Gwenn]

I actually haven't seen the movie, but my high school english class took a field trip to watch a live performance of the play! It was good but as a 16 year old I couldn't really relate to the theme (a sexually frustrated woman married to a gay man).

And wow - looking at the Wikipedia page the homosexual theme was edited out of the movie - too racy for the 60's I guess. But it was the primary theme of the stage play as I recall it.

[daylilies]

Wow, that's interesting!

I finished that book I mentioned a while back called the War of Art. It was all about motivation and resistance. I really enjoyed it up until the end when he started talking about God and destiny and how you're disappointing God and angels and muses if you don't sit down and do what you're destined to become. The rest of the book was nothing like that. He did mention in the beginning that he believed in God, but made little to no mention of God or destiny or any of that until the last section. I actually felt a little pissed off that he did that. I was nodding and agreeing with the rest of the book and then that happened. Oh well.

[daylilies]

Last night we got a call at like 9:30. It was a guy asking for DH, who was busy so I asked who was calling. He gave me his name and left his number and said he knew DH when he was about 17. ??? The name didn't ring a bell with DH. Today DH asked me to try to find out who this guy is. I wish he'd just call him back but it does seem weird that some guy he supposedly knew 15 years ago would find and call him out of the blue.

[Cosmosmom]

Bobbie is moping because we won't be able to provide her with a car before Sept. when she goes to college. They have a car here to share, but it can't go with her. Even though I know I don't owe them a car, I'm still feeling like a failure.
Is she going to live on campus? If so, she doesn't need a car. At my one school, there was a lottery to get a parking spot and it was still EXPENSIVE to pay for the spot.
My parents gave me a car and I didn't have to share since my sister was so much younger....and they still didn't let me take it with me to college.

[Cosmosmom]

Yesterday we had taken off work for the second adoption class....but it was canceled due to the nasty weather we had. So DH and I stayed home and finished Six Feet Under....OMG loved the ending. So much better than I thought it was going to be and so completely satisfying. One of the best family drama series I have ever seen.

[daylilies]

Six Feet Under was awesome. The end still gives me chills when I think about it.
So who watched Idol last night? I know who I want to go home...

[Cosmosmom]

I saw bits of Idol. I don't know that I really like any of them....so not totally sure who I want to go home since pretty much anyone could and I would be ok with it.

[Cosmosmom]

I think that I love Michael C. Hall.

[daylilies]

Oh god! Me too. Do you watch Dexter? I keep forgetting he was on Six Feet Under too.

[Cosmosmom]

Yup actually saw Dexter first and wanted to call David Dexter. But David is just so David and as Dexter he's just so Dexter.....fantastic actor!

[daylilies]

I know!

[Bridget]

I feel like a new woman! Sawyer went to sleep at 9pm and then only woke at 1am, 4am, and then 6am right before my alarm went off. Both times he fell right to sleep after nursing. I feel so rested.:)

[Gwenn]

Last night we got a call at like 9:30. It was a guy asking for DH, who was busy so I asked who was calling. He gave me his name and left his number and said he knew DH when he was about 17. ??? The name didn't ring a bell with DH. Today DH asked me to try to find out who this guy is. I wish he'd just call him back but it does seem weird that some guy he supposedly knew 15 years ago would find and call him out of the blue.

Strange.


So who watched Idol last night? I know who I want to go home...

I want Thia to go home. I think she's too immature still.


I feel like a new woman! Sawyer went to sleep at 9pm and then only woke at 1am, 4am, and then 6am right before my alarm went off. Both times he fell right to sleep after nursing. I feel so rested.:)

Yay! I'm glad you got some sleep.

[missychrissy]

Yay for sleeping!!

I had a field-trip kinda day. Spent it at Ithaca College's EdTech day. They have vendors showcase their technology that's geared towards educators. Most the vendors give out free gifts, likes pens and whatnot. I also got a light-up super ball, Adobe Frisbee, and my favorite: two 4 GB usb drives that are shaped like baseball bats.

[daylilies]

Yay for sleeping!!

I had a field-trip kinda day. Spent it at Ithaca College's EdTech day. They have vendors showcase their technology that's geared towards educators. Most the vendors give out free gifts, likes pens and whatnot. I also got a light-up super ball, Adobe Frisbee, and my favorite: two 4 GB usb drives that are shaped like baseball bats.


Cool!
Glad you got some rest Bridget.
Thia's not the one I want to go home. I can't stand Scotty. He was okay at first but him turning a Motown song into country was just wrong, to me.
We're watching Aliens tonight so I will not see the results until tomorrow while Josh is at school. I just saw Alien for the first time a couple days ago and I really liked it.

[missychrissy]

I liked what Scotty did...but maybe it's because I grew up with country music? My dad played in a country band and everything. For most my childhood, that was my favorite genre of music. I didn't even like Madonna till I was 14! lol

[Gwenn]

Well, Chrissy, if it's any consolation I still don't like Madonna! And I didn't grow up a country fan, either!

Scotty was okay - wasn't my favorite last night but I really think he didn't have a choice. Country is his thing and he is sticking to it. He definitely knows what he wants.

[Cosmosmom]

double post

[Cosmosmom]

Yay for sleeping!!

I had a field-trip kinda day. Spent it at Ithaca College's EdTech day. They have vendors showcase their technology that's geared towards educators. Most the vendors give out free gifts, likes pens and whatnot. I also got a light-up super ball, Adobe Frisbee, and my favorite: two 4 GB usb drives that are shaped like baseball bats.

last time I went to a conference and in the vendor hall, I came out with some cool stuff too. my favorite was a pen shaped like a femur. :laugh:

I get to go to a conference in May. Last time was a few years ago in chicago. After that they went to DC and Hawaii which were NOT in our budget. But this year they are in Minneapolis which is definitely in our budget. :)

[Cosmosmom]

I agree....Scotty should stick with country. He would have sounded really fake trying to sing motown.

And I cannot stand the majority of country music....and I like a good deal of Madonna. Favorite is Like a Prayer.

But what I really like is Nirvanna, Pearl Jam, Metallica, Smashing Pumpkins, STP.....very most favorite is Counting Crows. Can you tell my high school years were in the mid 90's? LOL

And I like a decent amount of today's stuff like Gaga,Pink, My Chemical Romance........

[AbbeysMom]

***warning, random***

I confess my armpits smell like that sweet smell from laughing gas they give you at the dentist. It's from the Va Va Vanilla Secret Anti-Perspirant I got in the bargin bin at the grocery store, but I thought this morning that my scary neighbors were trying to gas me or something.

[Gwenn]

***warning, random***

I confess my armpits smell like that sweet smell from laughing gas they give you at the dentist. It's from the Va Va Vanilla Secret Anti-Perspirant I got in the bargin bin at the grocery store, but I thought this morning that my scary neighbors were trying to gas me or something.

:lol:

Thanks for the warning! I'll remember not to buy that scent!

[daylilies]

Haha, I don't like vanilla anyway.
I like country! But it's not called "Country Idol".

[3andMe]

Last night we got a call at like 9:30. It was a guy asking for DH, who was busy so I asked who was calling. He gave me his name and left his number and said he knew DH when he was about 17. ??? The name didn't ring a bell with DH. Today DH asked me to try to find out who this guy is. I wish he'd just call him back but it does seem weird that some guy he supposedly knew 15 years ago would find and call him out of the blue.

I know there is a lot more stuff to reply to (lesson #1 to take home for me is to not buy antiperspirant from the bargain bin, especially since I have a really big problem with scents), but I thought I would share with you a random thing I read on another forum today that doesn't have anything to do with this - maybe - but is an example of why someone would contact someone out of the blue 15 years later.

I was reading some posts from various people talking about how kids always knew who the 'weird' teachers were at school, and someone mentioned how if she got in trouble and had detention, someone else would inevitably just get in trouble a little while later and end up with detention also, just so nobody would have to be alone with the weird teacher. Sometimes these kids weren't even friends, didn't do anything more than nod in the hall, but this girl said she was really grateful to the few people who got in trouble intentionally so she wouldn't have to be in detention alone. A few other people said the same thing happened at their schools, also with people they didn't know that well, and someone piped up, "Well, why don't you write them a note and tell them." There was some hemming and hawing, but several people mentioned that they would try to contact long-lost acquaintances and let them know they were grateful for a (probably long-forgotten) act of kindness.

Anyway, totally off-topic and kind of random, but I thought it was kind of cool.

I always feel out of the loop when AI is on.

[Gwenn]

Don't want to make you feel out of the loop, Lydia! Should we move the idol chatter elsewhere? It's kind of nice having it just us but we can talk somewhere else if it bothers the ones who don't watch it.

Oh, and that's incredibly sweet and also creepy to think of little kids knowing it wasn't safe to be alone with a teacher. As an educator that makes me really sad.

[missychrissy]

***warning, random***

I confess my armpits smell like that sweet smell from laughing gas they give you at the dentist. It's from the Va Va Vanilla Secret Anti-Perspirant I got in the bargin bin at the grocery store, but I thought this morning that my scary neighbors were trying to gas me or something.

:lol: omg, that's too freaking funny!


Oh, and that's incredibly sweet and also creepy to think of little kids knowing it wasn't safe to be alone with a teacher. As an educator that makes me really sad.
Agreed. Poor kids. I don't remember anything like that. Rather, if a certain Mr. M requested a particularly pretty girl to stay after class, there'd be a lot of 'ooooo' ing going on, and later teasing about whether she had a good time or not. I remember once when he had me alone near the windows on the far side of the room and he did something that startled me. I jumped on top of my desk and ran across the desktops to get to the door. He followed. Looking back, I don't think he really was a creep in that he'd actually touch anyone, but he definitely got off on us girls (about 13-15) being scared of him.

[daylilies]

Very interesting! I don't remember anything happening like that when I was a kid, but I didn't have any really creepy teachers, either!
That's sweet that those kids would try to get back in touch so many years later. I actually found a mugshot online of a guy that matches up with the name and the area he's from based on the phone number. He was arrested for marijuana possession on 4/20 of 2006, LOL. He looks a little older than DH, but not much (if that is indeed him).

[missychrissy]

Rich had a cousin call out of the blue. A cousin he didn't know existed. The poor guy grew up in Georgia and barely knew his own father (Rich's uncle on his dad's side). He looked up people in our area with the same last name and just started calling. Rich didn't talk to him, I did. He said he just wanted to know his family. It really made me sad. I remember he talked about coming up and visiting everyone, and I gave him Auntie Janet's number because she's the most social, loving one of all of them (and only in the family through marriage, she married yet another uncle). That's the last I heard of him so I guess he never did come up. It's probably been 8-10 years since he called.

[Bridget]

Way to go PI Kate!:winks:
We had supposed creepy teachers but in hindsight I don't remember them actually doing anything shady. Just rumors and such.

I don't watch idol either. I watched one night when my brother was over because he won't miss it. I liked the girl from wisconsin. She sang a Rhianna song and her singing wasn't the greatest but she was a hell of a performer.
I don't mind the idol chatter. My mom loved the show and just the other day I was saying how endearing it was how often we had conversations that went like this:
Mom: Did you watch American Idol last night?
Me: No, Mom. I don't watch it
Mom: Oh, but (insert name of person I've never heard of) was so good! Did you catch the end when.....happened?
Me: No, Mom. I actually don't watch American Idol
Mom: Well I think it's either going to be so and so or so and so. Have you heard her sing? She's so good!
Me: No I haven't. I actually.....nevermind. :)
:laugh:

[missychrissy]

:wub:

I don't know why I love AI so much, but I do.

If I had to put in order from least likely to most likely to be a predator at our school, this one teacher would have been at the first of the list as least likely. From my recollection of her, she was nothing but professional and a really popular teacher. I only had her for study hall, but she was my brother's homeroom teacher when he was in 6th grade. When my brother was about 20 or so, it came out that she had molested one of his classmates. I really didn't believe it, but I worked at the county for mental health at the time and had access to information that left me with little doubt that it did indeed happen. It's really scary to think about because even as an adult I'm 100% sure I wouldn't have felt anything 'off' about her.

At the end, it turned out she had had inappropriate relations with 3-4 young boys. 6th graders, no less. They're definitely still kids at that age.

[Bridget]

At my highschool, we had this beloved teacher that worked in the ag dept. Everyone loved him and he was just one of those teachers that would do anything for his students. I never heard nor saw him do anything remotely inappropriate and myself and my friends were around him all the time because we were involved in FFA and he was the leader. We all adored and respected him.
A few years after I graduated some woman came out and said she consentually slept with him back in the early seventies when she was a senior and he was just starting. So he was about 23 years old then. She went to the papers and it was devestating to the community because he resigned in light of the scandal and he was such a pillar in our town and school. I'm not saying what he did was ok, if he did it at all but it really sucked when it all went down.

[missychrissy]

That does suck. I'm probably in the minority, but imo I don't think 17-23 is that big of a deal. Would I be happy about Bobbie dating a 23 year old? No, not really...but I wouldn't consider him a sexual predator or anything. I'd talk to her about expectations, saying no, and if she decided to go 'all the way' then she'd have to live with that.

I wonder what that woman thought she had to gain by bringing that up so long after the fact? Did she feel better after destroying his career?

The 70's were a different time. My father is 9 years older than my mom, and I have no doubt he genuinely loved her. He still does. She was 15 when they started dating.

[daylilies]

I dated a 22 year old when I was 18, but he turned out to be a d-bag.

I don't remember the girl who sang Rhianna...is she on the show now? Oh right...you don't watch it ;)
I love sleuthing things out online. We call it Google-fu around here. As in, "Go work your google-fu and find out what this random obscure movie/person/quote is" I mentioned a little while ago that a friend was looking for a book she didn't know the title or author of and I found it with just a few key words. Think I have too much free time?
I'm watching last night's Idol, but I already read a spoiler. I'm surprised.
I usually watch it along with an old friend on my yahoo messenger and I converted him to team Pia this week :) He liked Karen. :( I was surprised she left so early.

[Cosmosmom]

and that's incredibly sweet and also creepy to think of little kids knowing it wasn't safe to be alone with a teacher. As an educator that makes me really sad.
I agree! How horrible that would be to not be able to trust your teacher. I had some fantastic ones and some that were just ok.....but I can't think of any in my many years of school that I would have felt unsafe being alone with. :ohno:

[Cosmosmom]

I have a bit of a love/hate relationship with google. I love it for myself for things like buying stuff, finding stuff, planning vacations....and for work I love for when staff give me incomplete or just totally wrong citations. Not easy to find articles if I've been given the wrong citation (usually the title is right....and google saves me there!).
On the other hand, doing a google search is not research. Not everything is on google. Not everything on google is true. OMG so often I have people who are like, just type it in google...or my friend saw this on google.

[3andMe]

I don't mind the AI chatter. I just have nothing to contribute, and like I said, I feel out of the loop. It reminds me of back when I was growing up, and I was the only kids without a tv. Although this time it's by choice. :laugh: The only time I've really liked the show is in the beginning, with the tryouts, and dh doesn't like it, so we don't watch it.


I was irrationally annoyed at NetFlix for recommending a movie to me that was boring. It was foreign and had semi-clothed teenagers in it, and I was even more annoyed that it thought I was so liberal that I'd like the film just based on that but ignore the fact that it had no plot. Did it think I was a guy? On the really really cool side, I had trouble with streaming NetFlix, and I went to the website help function for a minute before realizing they couldn't help me, and the next day they sent me an email saying that I must have had problems viewing movies one day, and if that was the case I should click on this link to get a refund for one day's worth of fees. They are mostly awesome.

[daylilies]

LOL Lydia, what movie was it? Netflix recommends weird stuff to me too because DH and I have the same account and we put movies for Josh on there too, so we have like, The Hangover, Disney movies, and DH's anime on the same list. LOL
Once in a while I get a movie just for me-it's usually horror or maybe an Oscar winner I wanted to see but wasn't worth going to the theater for.

[missychrissy]

I can't pay attention to Netflix's recommendations because my girls watch some crazy stuff that I'm just not into at all.

But they'd done the same thing to us when streaming didn't work right. They offer a refund/discount. You don't even have to complain, click a link, or report trouble. I think it's awesome!

[Cosmosmom]

I don't have netflix. Most often we just wait for movies to become free on demand since we have HBO, Showtime, Cinemax, TMC, and Starz. Once in a while we will just get something off the on demand you have to pay for.
I'm suck a series person anyway that I tend to be much more into TV shows than movies.

I'm reading this book right now http://www.amazon.com/Matched-Ally-Condie/dp/0525423648/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301064413&sr=8-1 and really am liking it. It's kind of like a mix of The Giver, Brave New World and 1984...all books that I loved. Bad part is that there looks like there will be a sequel and it's not coming out until Nov.

[daylilies]

That book sounds neat. I don't read many dystopian books but I always end up enjoying them when I do. It really interests me to read about situations that are not realistic, but could be!
It says I can read the first chapter free on the Kindle, so I think I'm going to figure that out...my internet seems to be wonky right now though.

[girlwonder]

I really love tv series now more than movies. They are able to go so much deeper into characters and storylines. I start to actually care about the characters in a series and think about them for a longer period of time than I do about movie characters. I loved Black Swan, but I don't think about Nina the same way I do about Joan on MadMen or Debra on Dexter.

[3andMe]

I'm much more of a series person, too. I always thought it was because I never have the time commitment to sit down for two hours at a stretch, but your point, Katy, makes a lot of sense.

However, I don't like Debra on Dexter at all. Her character annoys me.

[daylilies]

I feel the same about Debra too. I never liked her! Especially at the beginning when I thought she was really immature and so insecure I wondered how she ever got through the day. Now that she's had a couple horrible things happen to her and her loved ones I guess she is a stronger character but I still don't really like her.
I have a little crush on Angel :wub: Quinn is hot, but a bit of a d-bag (d-bag is my favorite insult, if you hadn't noticed) I'm never really sure if he's sincere to Deb or if he's always going to have alterior motives.

[Bridget]

Angel? Really? He reminds me so much of a bartender I used to work with in Hawaii. Deb doesn't bug me like she used to. I like the mouth on her. Dbf and I think it's hilarious.
When is it back on?

[3andMe]

I should add that I haven't seen the latest season of Dexter yet.

I do appreciate the complexity of characters, and I can admire Debra's character traits like her steadfastness and honor while being annoyed at her general naivete.

[daylilies]

Yeah, Angel. Weird choice I know, but there's just something about him. He seems sensitive and vulnerable and I just want to give him a hug. LOL
Don't worry, I won't spoil anything Lydia!

[Cosmosmom]

I don't mind Deb either. I like her potty mouth and wish that I was that good at swearing. LOL I'm guessing that it will probably come back on this fall, maybe like Sept?

Does anyone else watch United States of Tara? DH and I like that and it is starting back up this weekend I think.
My Dad and uncle really like Shameless but I haven't tried that one yet.

And True Blood will be back I think in June! If they follow along the books, season four should be good. I loved book four.

[missychrissy]

My kids watch Dexter, but I've only read the first book. I was surprised I actually liked it.

Bobbie has gone and done something I'd never have the balls to do. She asked a boy out to the dance with her tonight. :hooray: She's so meek and quiet, so it's quite a big deal (imo) that she got up the nerve to do that! I'm very happy and excited for her. She says he's hot in a dorky, Harry Potter kinda way. And she texted him during school, but he's a 'good boy' and didn't respond till after school was out. :wub:

[Cosmosmom]

Go Bobbie!

[dana_renay]

:hi:

All you Netflix users that get bizarre recommendations because you share your account with the rest of your family - there is a solution. You can actually set up multiple profiles for your account. You can even set up a profile for your kids with parental controls on the ratings. Each profile gets separate recommendations, so you might actually get suggestions for a movie *you* want to watch!

ETA: I always want to join this thread, but I can't keep up!

[Bridget]

I like Shameless. Episodes is very funny too. Dbf likes thr US of Tara one.
I also watch Parenthood on NBC and that's about the line up around here. I watch Bill Maher in the middle of the night when I'm nursing Sawyer because dbf doesn't enjoy it but I love the show.

[daylilies]

:hi:

All you Netflix users that get bizarre recommendations because you share your account with the rest of your family - there is a solution. You can actually set up multiple profiles for your account. You can even set up a profile for your kids with parental controls on the ratings. Each profile gets separate recommendations, so you might actually get suggestions for a movie *you* want to watch!

ETA: I always want to join this thread, but I can't keep up!

Thanks for that! Yeah, we do move pretty fast sometimes! It's okay to jump in whenever you want.

Go Bobbie!
I watch Dexter and Idol, and together we watch some other things but none of the above mentioned. We're going to watch Camelot which starts on the 1st and some other show I can't think of the name of right now that starts this year.

[3andMe]

Thx! That is a good idea, since I keep getting recommendations based on feel-good talking animal shows. :laugh:

[3andMe]

I watch Bill Maher in the middle of the night when I'm nursing Sawyer because dbf doesn't enjoy it but I love the show.

Don't you feel a little dirty when you do that because of his breastfeeding diatribe? :winks:

[missychrissy]

:hi:

All you Netflix users that get bizarre recommendations because you share your account with the rest of your family - there is a solution. You can actually set up multiple profiles for your account. You can even set up a profile for your kids with parental controls on the ratings. Each profile gets separate recommendations, so you might actually get suggestions for a movie *you* want to watch!

ETA: I always want to join this thread, but I can't keep up!

:hi: Welcome!

[daylilies]

I checked out the netflix thing and I can only have two names on it with the type of account we have, and I can't figure out if I can move movies from one person's list to another or if I have to add them fresh, but that is pretty neat. I'll probably put Josh's movies on my list, since I don't have many movies for just me.
I feel like a bum today. I don't have any money to spend right now and there's nothing free that I feel like doing in 40 degree weather LOL

[Bridget]

Don't you feel a little dirty when you do that because of his breastfeeding diatribe? :winks:
Touche!
:laugh: I should but I don't! I certainly don't agree with everything he says but I do enjoy his rhetoric, even when he's comparing breastfeeding to masturbation.:eyeroll:

[girlwonder]

I don't really like Debra either, but I care what happens to her. I think they wrote her to be the quintessential annoying little sister. She is so awkward and strident and loud. I find her potty mouth annoying, which is ridiculous because I have quite a mouth on me at times. But overall, I do like her because she is muddling along doing her utmost to live up to her ideals.

We just finished Spartacus - unbelievably good show. It is super bloody and gory, though. Kind of shocking at first, but it's like a comic book almost - so over the top it is funny at times. Also - lots and lots and lots of pretty explicit sex and some full frontal nudity from boys and girls. But the story is really well done and it is so much fun to watch these characters!

[daylilies]

I don't really like Debra either, but I care what happens to her. I think they wrote her to be the quintessential annoying little sister. She is so awkward and strident and loud. I find her potty mouth annoying, which is ridiculous because I have quite a mouth on me at times. But overall, I do like her because she is muddling along doing her utmost to live up to her ideals.

We just finished Spartacus - unbelievably good show. It is super bloody and gory, though. Kind of shocking at first, but it's like a comic book almost - so over the top it is funny at times. Also - lots and lots and lots of pretty explicit sex and some full frontal nudity from boys and girls. But the story is really well done and it is so much fun to watch these characters!


Did you finish the first or second season?
On a side note, the woman who played Lila on Dexter a few seasons ago was on Spartacus!

[AmeriBrit]

I'm back from our stay-cation and we had a great time! Both the boys loved the pool and seeing the animals at the zoo.

We're going to the US at the end of May for 2 weeks. We're hiring a cabin that's just outside of the town where my parents live that has a swimmig pool and is in a nice scenic place. I'm really looking forward to it...seeing family and eating GOOD food! LOL

I've not kept up with AI or any US shows lately. The only thing we currently watch is The Event; oh, and I've been watching season 1 of Battle Star Galactica, which I've been meaning to talk about on here since it was this thread that inspired me to watch it...it's an interesting show! I was surprised by how religious it seems to be.

On the deoderant thing, as long as I shave my pits regularly, I don't have to wear deoderant, so I've not worn it in years.

Hey Dana! Glad you've joined the thread.

Chrissy, I'm glad Bobbie has found a good'n!

I hope I didn't miss anyone out in this response; I'm tired now, though, from unpacking, so gonna hit the hay now...lol

[missychrissy]

Your cabin sounds wonderful! I hope you have a great time!!

I used to be the same way about simply shaving & not needing deodorant. I don't know if age or weight gain changed it. I haven't tried to go without it since I lost that weight though. Maybe I should.

[girlwonder]

Did you finish the first or second season?
On a side note, the woman who played Lila on Dexter a few seasons ago was on Spartacus!

It was driving me crazy!!!! I knew that I knew her!

We just finished the first season and are a few episodes in to Season 2.

[daylilies]

It seems like I only need to wear deodorant every couple days. Don't tell DH though! He'd probably be grossed out that I don't put it on every day.
Yeah BSG does have heavy religious overtones, especially towards the end.

[daylilies]

It was driving me crazy!!!! I knew that I knew her!

We just finished the first season and are a few episodes in to Season 2.


LOL, glad I could help!

[dana_renay]

On the deoderant thing, as long as I shave my pits regularly, I don't have to wear deoderant, so I've not worn it in years.




I used to be the same way about simply shaving & not needing deodorant. I don't know if age or weight gain changed it. I haven't tried to go without it since I lost that weight though. Maybe I should.


It seems like I only need to wear deodorant every couple days. Don't tell DH though! He'd probably be grossed out that I don't put it on every day.


All the material in this thread and this is what I respond to. :laugh:
First - Secret had some vanilla and coconut scent a couple of years ago that I got on sale. It smelled so much that halfway through the day, I had to try to wash it off in the bathroom at work. One of those examples of how sometimes a bargain isn't.

I used to almost never wear deodorant. I just didn't smell. Then I got into my 30's and that changed. That's when I discovered that my skin had become way more sensitive and shaving + deodorant = disaster. So, I stopped shaving. Yes, I do look like a hippie. No, I do not care. It's way easier maintenance- wise. I'm not a very hairy person so it's not like a huge tangly black thicket. It's just a silky little patch. Honestly, I think it's kind of cute. :shocker:

[daylilies]

All the material in this thread and this is what I respond to. :laugh:
First - Secret had some vanilla and coconut scent a couple of years ago that I got on sale. It smelled so much that halfway through the day, I had to try to wash it off in the bathroom at work. One of those examples of how sometimes a bargain isn't.

I used to almost never wear deodorant. I just didn't smell. Then I got into my 30's and that changed. That's when I discovered that my skin had become way more sensitive and shaving + deodorant = disaster. So, I stopped shaving. Yes, I do look like a hippie. No, I do not care. It's way easier maintenance- wise. I'm not a very hairy person so it's not like a huge tangly black thicket. It's just a silky little patch. Honestly, I think it's kind of cute. :shocker:

LOL! I bet it is cute. Not sure what DH thinks of it when I let it get like that though.
I'm going on a cruise in May and I want to get waxed...like, all over...has anyone ever done that?

[girlwonder]

I've gotten the betweeni, which is basically a Brazilian with some decorative shrubbery in the front yard. :laugh:

[missychrissy]

:lol: I snorted at your description!!!

[Gwenn]

Another of my huge catch-up posts!


I dated a 22 year old when I was 18, but he turned out to be a d-bag.

Perhaps this is a good time to mention that when I was 22 I moved in with a 44 year old that I barely knew? That was the author - why is it I keep mentioning him lately? I really almost never think of him.


On the other hand, doing a google search is not research. Not everything is on google. Not everything on google is true. OMG so often I have people who are like, just type it in google...or my friend saw this on google.

This might be a good place for me to follow up on my work website blocking rant - turns out they blocked ANYTHING that falls under the category of health or nutrition. Including the Mayo Clinic's website! Oh, but they didn't block Wikipedia ... apparently our district is okay with teaching children to use Wikipedia as a reference as every other possible site has been blocked. Yikes! Okay, so maybe they don't want kindergartners to see naked bodies - but seriously, everything under the health/nutrition category is inappropriate for school up through 12th grade??? Seriously???


I was irrationally annoyed at NetFlix for recommending a movie to me that was boring. It was foreign and had semi-clothed teenagers in it, and I was even more annoyed that it thought I was so liberal that I'd like the film just based on that but ignore the fact that it had no plot. Did it think I was a guy? On the really really cool side, I had trouble with streaming NetFlix, and I went to the website help function for a minute before realizing they couldn't help me, and the next day they sent me an email saying that I must have had problems viewing movies one day, and if that was the case I should click on this link to get a refund for one day's worth of fees. They are mostly awesome.

I love your posts, Lydia! :wub:


LOL Lydia, what movie was it? Netflix recommends weird stuff to me too because DH and I have the same account and we put movies for Josh on there too, so we have like, The Hangover, Disney movies, and DH's anime on the same list. LOL
Once in a while I get a movie just for me-it's usually horror or maybe an Oscar winner I wanted to see but wasn't worth going to the theater for.

DH and I have this problem, too. He watches primarily martial arts movies and documentaries about buddhism. I, well, don't.


I'm suck a series person anyway that I tend to be much more into TV shows than movies.

I'm reading this book right now http://www.amazon.com/Matched-Ally-Condie/dp/0525423648/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1301064413&sr=8-1 and really am liking it. It's kind of like a mix of The Giver, Brave New World and 1984...all books that I loved. Bad part is that there looks like there will be a sequel and it's not coming out until Nov.

I have watched quite a few series off Netflix. Haven't got into many of the premium channel ones yet but that's because I haven't looked. They're all on there once they're out on DVD. I've mostly been watching British imports.


I really love tv series now more than movies. They are able to go so much deeper into characters and storylines. I start to actually care about the characters in a series and think about them for a longer period of time than I do about movie characters. I loved Black Swan, but I don't think about Nina the same way I do about Joan on MadMen or Debra on Dexter.

Yes, I was becoming way into some of the characters from Monarch of the Glen for a while. Don't ask.


I watch Dexter and Idol, and together we watch some other things but none of the above mentioned. We're going to watch Camelot which starts on the 1st and some other show I can't think of the name of right now that starts this year.

Oooh ... Camelot!


I'm going on a cruise in May and I want to get waxed...like, all over...has anyone ever done that?

I'm trying to come up with a plan for de-yetifying myself in preparation for DH's return!

[Cosmosmom]

OMG they feel the need to block a reliable health info site but leave up wikipedia???? That site was just coming out when I was in library school....let's just say we're not fans. I mean I might use it to look up something that isn't important like a TV. So what if I get messed up info. But I would NEVER suggest that to a nursing student or a patient. I wonder if they would block www.medlineplus.gov I mean it is a gov site....one of my favorites and I use it daily when doing consumer searches. Or if staff wants me to do a search and I know NOTHING about it...got to have a basic knowledge to know what to look for in a search.

I'm killing time until Bill Maher comes on.

I haven't even shaved my legs since probably October. LOL I have enough hair on my head for 4 people....but everywhere else it's pretty fine. It's just too cold to shave in the winter.
And don't use much deodorant...usually every couple of days and I pretty much only used unscented things. All my soaps are unscented and often dye free. I'm really picky about smells and do not wear perfumes. I do however like the green apple dawn for my dish soap. and sometimes berry or more watermelon or cucumber scented things are ok. But not vanilla or flower smells.

[Gwenn]

OMG they feel the need to block a reliable health info site but leave up wikipedia???? That site was just coming out when I was in library school....let's just say we're not fans. I mean I might use it to look up something that isn't important like a TV. So what if I get messed up info. But I would NEVER suggest that to a nursing student or a patient. I wonder if they would block www.medlineplus.gov I mean it is a gov site....one of my favorites and I use it daily when doing consumer searches. Or if staff wants me to do a search and I know NOTHING about it...got to have a basic knowledge to know what to look for in a search.

I'm killing time until Bill Maher comes on.

I haven't even shaved my legs since probably October. LOL I have enough hair on my head for 4 people....but everywhere else it's pretty fine. It's just too cold to shave in the winter.
And don't use much deodorant...usually every couple of days and I pretty much only used unscented things. All my soaps are unscented and often dye free. I'm really picky about smells and do not wear perfumes. I do however like the green apple dawn for my dish soap. and sometimes berry or more watermelon or cucumber scented things are ok. But not vanilla or flower smells.

I think they left all .gov sites open. I got annoyed and checked a few sites like the CDC and NIH and they were available. But the .com sites are blocked even though some of them are highly respected info sources - like Mayo Clinic.

And yeah - I use Wikipedia to look up celebrity bios or movies or things like that. Not health information. Although sometimes I check what it says about disorders I work with just to see if it's giving out reliable info and most of the time it's pretty good with a few errors.

I've been using cucumber scent deodorant and hand soap lately. For some reason I like it a lot. But deodorant isn't an option for me, especially in these temperatures.

[daylilies]

The soap thing reminds me I was going through some of my soaps looking for a new one to use and I came out with one that wasn't labeled, from a gift box my cousin sent me for Christmas. I tried to use it and it wouldn't lather up. Later on I found the paper saying what everything is and it's a massage bar. LOL

[Cosmosmom]

any big plans for the weekend? We have some wine to drink...reisling for Dh and pinot noir for me. and cleaning...we are normally pretty good about it but it's been a few weeks for most the house and it REALLY needs it. And adoption paperwork of course.

I finished that book and liked it. Now to wait for the sequel. I also requested and need to go pick up since it came in "I am number four".

And I'm plotting more ways to spend money....that is what I do, I come up with ways to spend the money and DH brings it back to reality. Right now we both want a back splash in the kitchen. I don't care at all for just having the drywall there and want to do tiles. He was thinking that it would be like 1700-2k to get this done. My sister and I think it will be less than that. I can't see using doing anything to fancy and I know glass is the most expensive but that wouldn't look right anyway. Floor is vinyl but looks like slate and the counter is laminate that looks like oiled soapstone.
These are my kitchen....any ideas on what to do?????

http://a8.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/32496_392320768109_590623109_4145637_2653617_n.jpg

http://a6.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc4/38990_414093058109_590623109_4718454_1808956_n.jpg

[Cosmosmom]

LOL Yeah temperature isn't an issue for us most of the year. I still have my heat and fire place going on. course we still have about 6 inches of snow on the ground. Even in the summer we don't get that many days over 90...we are mostly 70's and 80's and summer isn't that long.

[daylilies]

LOL, I saw the first picture and I was going to say, where is all your stuff?
I don't know anything about decorating :( But I like your kitchen. No real plans this weekend. DH works tomorrow so Josh and I have to find something to do. He wants to go to the "far away mall" about half an hour away (as opposed to the one across the street), so we'll probably go to the gym in the morning and then go to the mall. I have no money to spend but we'll kill some time there.

[Cosmosmom]

floor is mostly dark with browns, gold, greys...counters are darker grey, my appliances are stainless steel, and my gadgets like my mixer and such are kitchen aid red.

I have no clue what to do for tiles....just nothing too dark since the floors are darker.

[Cosmosmom]

LOL it was right before we moved in. :)

[Gwenn]

I wish I had a great suggestion ... we were making plans to re-do our kitchen before DH lost his job and the backsplash was the one thing I was just having trouble with. I think tile would look nice in your kitchen. I've seen some that are sold in strips already spaced out so pretty easy for DIY. I tend to prefer a stone look rather than a glazed tile but that's personal preference.

[dana_renay]

Do your SOs actually notice these things? Cause mine sure doesn't. I literally did not shave my legs all winter last year and when I said something about it in spring, he was like "What? There's hair on your legs?!" Clueless.

And Gwenn, that is messed up. Wikipedia is not exactly short on nasty stuff anyway, kwim? But I actually know people that would be aghast at the suggestion that children should have accurate factual information about <gasp!> their bodies and how to care for them!

[Gwenn]

Jennifer, any of these ideas work for you?

http://www.hgtv.com/kitchens/beautiful-backsplashes/pictures/index.html

[Gwenn]

Do your SOs actually notice these things? Cause mine sure doesn't. I literally did not shave my legs all winter last year and when I said something about it in spring, he was like "What? There's hair on your legs?!" Clueless.

And Gwenn, that is messed up. Wikipedia is not exactly short on nasty stuff anyway, kwim? But I actually know people that would be aghast at the suggestion that children should have accurate factual information about <gasp!> their bodies and how to care for them!

Yea ... kind of sad we can't just explain about bodies without it being controversial. It would solve a lot of problems...

And my DH cares. He doesn't say anything if I let it go, but when I do keep up with it he lets me know he's happy.

[daylilies]

I've gotten the betweeni, which is basically a Brazilian with some decorative shrubbery in the front yard. :laugh:


Do your SOs actually notice these things? Cause mine sure doesn't. I literally did not shave my legs all winter last year and when I said something about it in spring, he was like "What? There's hair on your legs?!" Clueless.



Mine does. I'd rather he didn't :P If I had nobody who cared, I'd probably hardly ever shave. Sometimes it does feel good but it's such a pain in the ass.

[Gwenn]

Mine does. I'd rather he didn't :P If I had nobody who cared, I'd probably hardly ever shave. Sometimes it does feel good but it's such a pain in the ass.

Yes. I was actually thinking of a DH homecoming wax but was afraid it would be so painful I'd be out of action, so to speak.

[daylilies]

LOL
I don't think I'll be getting any action on the cruise with 2000 women and the new kids on the block (although I guess I could always dream :P)

[girlwonder]

I think the pain depends on the person. I don't think it hurts too terribly much. Except the front yard - that hurts a lot more than the side or back yard. :winks:

[Gwenn]

In your shoes Kate (well, I'm not a New Kids fan but insert other celebrities in the same spot) I'd get the wax and dream! But it would just be dreaming.

[Gwenn]

I think the pain depends on the person. I don't think it hurts too terribly much. Except the front yard - that hurts a lot more than the side or back yard. :winks:

I really can't imagine that not being painful.

[daylilies]

There's a side yard??? LOL
Oh I will probably get the wax either way! Don't want to be like Miranda in the bathing suit in the first Sex and the City movie (she has hair showing out of the crotch of her bathing suit LOL)

[AmeriBrit]

Lol at all the waxing talk. I've only ever had my eyebrows done that way. Everything else gets done with the razor.

[Bridget]

I am having a rare moment to myself and it feels very strange. I gave Sawyer to Mark so I could clean up the bathroom and Savana and Kai have now hopped into bed with him too. I only feel a little bad that he's hungover from drinking too much too much chocolate flavored red wine (gag). He brought it home saying it's for me but I know better than to drink sugary crap like that mixed with WINE of all things. Bad news. I told him every time I saw him pour himself a new glass that he was going to feel terrible today.

Myles, where are you?? I am in love with the Buddhism for Mothers book. I want to post quotes from it all over my house.
This is the one I've been thinking of for a couple of days now,
"Those with equanimity know that each moment is of equal importance. Changing a nappy, wiping a nose, reading a story or waiting in a queue--all are opportunities for mindfulness, for growing. Each moment is brilliantly new. It will not last, for it is in the process of chainging into something else-that makes it precious."
How lovely is that?:wub:

[dana_renay]

Chocovine? That stuff if delish! But yeah, a little goes a looooong way. Hope you enjoy these few precious moments to yourself.

[daylilies]

Oh, now I want to try that chocolate wine. LOL I think I have seen it, is it in a brown bottle?

[Bridget]

Yes, it is. It's very, very sweet. Not for me. I prefer just straight red wine or a nice dark beer.:bellyrubs: Like, I'm very happy about the fact they say Guinness is good for breastmilk supply. If someone knows that to be false, please don't tell me. :winks:

[daylilies]

Oooh, I don't like beer, especially the dark ones. I get full before I get drunk. LOL Once in a while in the summer a lager or light beer is good.

[AmeriBrit]

My MIL says they used to give Guiness to people in hospitals here, so it's got to be good for ya!

Chocolate wine sounds nasty to me! I like a nice rose wine, white zinfandel really. I like strawberry cider, too; that's my summer drink.

[Bridget]

Kate, I used to feel that way about dark beer too when I drank to get drunk (read: loaded). But these days I just want one or two and enjoy sipping on a tasty beer.

[dana_renay]

It doesn't taste like wine at all. It's more like a grown up Yoo-Hoo in flavor. Imagine a shot of bailey's and godiva liqueur. But it is very sweet and very rich.
I personally like sweet wines, or malty beers. I don't like my beer hoppy. I actually think it is the hops in beer that is supposed to be a galactagogue (i.e. helps produce milk).

Don't tell Bridget, but I read that non-alcoholic beer works just as well. But who would want to drink that? :laugh:

[Inca]

I always thought the chocovine looked nasty. And mm... beer. Can't wait to have one (Hoegaarden preferably)..or a nice glass of chard. :drool:

[missychrissy]

The soap thing reminds me I was going through some of my soaps looking for a new one to use and I came out with one that wasn't labeled, from a gift box my cousin sent me for Christmas. I tried to use it and it wouldn't lather up. Later on I found the paper saying what everything is and it's a massage bar. LOL

:lol: omg that's funny!!


Yea ... kind of sad we can't just explain about bodies without it being controversial. It would solve a lot of problems...

And my DH cares. He doesn't say anything if I let it go, but when I do keep up with it he lets me know he's happy.

Your employer's blocking is excessive.

My husband is the same way. If I decided to go hippie free, he'd be supportive but he's particularly complimentary once I've shaved after skipping a couples days. I think a week is the longest I've gone, and then I was terribly sick.

Just last week Rich turned to me and said, "I'm so happy you shave." I burst out laughing because it was so random! But obviously he likes it :D

I've never tasted any beer than I can tolerate and the few times I tried to 'acquire a taste' for it, I got sick and threw up after just 2-3. I can drink shots and mixed drinks all night long, so it's not like I'm a light weight. I just cannot stomach beer for some reason.

[daylilies]

It doesn't taste like wine at all. It's more like a grown up Yoo-Hoo in flavor. Imagine a shot of bailey's and godiva liqueur. But it is very sweet and very rich.
I personally like sweet wines, or malty beers. I don't like my beer hoppy. I actually think it is the hops in beer that is supposed to be a galactagogue (i.e. helps produce milk).

Don't tell Bridget, but I read that non-alcoholic beer works just as well. But who would want to drink that? :laugh:

LOL Yeah.
I don't drink much obviously, but when I do, I have to get at least a little tipsy to make it worth it to me. I have to be careful though because drunk = the munchies for me and I can ruin a whole good day with snacks when I'm drunk.

[missychrissy]

Not to mention all the calories that are in each drink themselves. Do you think men ever consider that?

We went out last night and I'm mentally calculating all the calories I might have consumed...I bet the thought never crosses Rich's mind. Till I bring it up :P