Secular Confessions

[Gwenn]

Her exact words were, "You're Christina S______. Hi, I'm Sarah S_________." and she stuck her hand out. Did she see my picture? How does she know? She was just so certain, she didn't even add the perfunctory "right?" after her statement of who I was. Weird.

That's bizarre and would really freak me out. Weird.

[daylilies]

Too weird about the introduction in the bathroom!

When I was at that convention with DH a couple weeks ago a man in the elevator asked me "Are you Steve's wife?" Out of the hundreds of people there I don't know how he assumed I was his wife. He must have seen me with DH at some point. But it was still really weird.

So....who wants to venture into the Christian room and ask how many extroverts there are? :)
I got a much needed haircut today! I don't like the way she styled it, but I think I will like it when I do my usual wash and wear routine :)

[Gwenn]

So....who wants to venture into the Christian room and ask how many extroverts there are? :)
I got a much needed haircut today! I don't like the way she styled it, but I think I will like it when I do my usual wash and wear routine :)


If you're asking me, the answer is no! :laugh:

I really need a hair cut.

[The10Eels]

It said the audience member was the one who informed McCain that the person "heckling" her was disabled.

I'm assuming that is her friend. Is that right?

Erin
Yes, my friend is the one who informed McCain that the person laughing was disabled.

It really irked my friend because she has devoted her life recently to working with people with disabilities and I think it is really what she is meant to do. Her heart is really in it.



Ash, that's a good limelight moment fo. your friend. What did she say in her FB status?
I will add some of her comments under all of this..


How incredibly rude of Meghan. Even if it were a heckler, that would have been an appropriate response? :eyeroll:
Seriously!!! Way to be a role model, right?


Here are some of her comments -----



I stand up for people who don't have a voice. I will not be a follower and sit in the crowd. I will guide by example. Stand up for what you believe in. Be proud of who you are and never let anything hold you back, or let you be a quiet voice in the stands.



the issue wasn't what happen, the issue is how it was handled. She was handed a piece of paper right before her questions and chose not to address the situation until someone said something to her about it. I am completely and absolutely disgusted by ALL of the Indiana State University STAFF that were present and sat and watched this entire thing pan out. What an amazing learning opportunity it would of been for all who were there. Yet, no staff said anything to her until the end, and no one made a point of putting the person with disabilities first. Way to go. Way to empower people Indiana State Faculty.


To be very honest my entire body was shaking in not only disgust, but in utter awe of how disillusioned this young woman was. Her entire speech was talking about how others have treated her on the political campaign and how she has had to make her way as a republican and as a daughter of a US Senator as well as living the life under a father like hers. She said in her speech that she had no room to rebel against her parents because she always had service men with her as well as all these other cookie cutter ideals of people and how democrats and republicans should get along.
.......

I think the part that most upset me about the entire situation is that when she was handed the note about what she had done Meghan did not own up to it. She did not apologize to the group of people there; she did not apologize until I said something to her. Not to mention her cutting me off. However, majority of the audience did not see the facial expressions and full eye contact I gave her to show my disgust of people like her. I am so sick of the public looking at people with disabilities as these inhuman creatures that should remain in the closets of this world
..............

But the biggest issue isn’t a first amendment right of hers, or of his to act the way they wish and say as they wish to people on behalf of themselves. However, the issue is that Indiana State University faculty and staff sat in the audience and through her entire speech and allowed the young man to removed by his parents without a word. I was told by fellow students that a lot of people did go with the parents outside because the mother was outraged, as she should be. But I was not only upset that someone didn’t inform her right then, but that the university did not stand up for that individual. Is this not a university that has students with disabilities? I am completely and absolutely disgusted with the entire Indiana State faculty that did not stand up for this individual. Can you imagine the learning experience it would have been for the entire community of people that were there in the auditorium? What a cliché thing to do in not standing up for someone else and just letting it happen. Could I have stood up and done something right then? I could have, but would anyone have listened? I don’t think so. So instead I waited and listened to the entire speech. I sat fuming and telling myself not to curse her inside and out once I got up there to the microphone. But for a few moments when they handed her the paper explaining to her what she had done I thought okay, she will apologize, but she didn’t because who apologizes to someone with a disability?
So in conclusion I would like to say that once I knew she was not going to say anything that I had the option to do so myself and I took the opportunity. I’ve learned that when working with people like I do, that there are people out there who just don’t understand and that the entire world needs a lesson on how to treat people with developmental, physical and psychological disabilities. People are not all as empathetic and trained as myself. I would like to not only point out and say, that she talked about how she felt when people talked about her weight, or her blonde hair or other traits she has, but she needs to step back and think that daily a person with disabilities is starred at, made fun of, and treated rudely more than she ever will in any media circus and she needs to put her big girl panties on and get a large reality check.

[missychrissy]

Your friend is an amazing person. The world could use more like her.

[The10Eels]

I am beyond proud of her, and honored to call her my friend

[AbbeysMom]

I wonder if the Introvert trend in this room has anything to do with Secular. Or maybe it's common among anyone who would spend as much time as we do in a web-based forum. Molly's the only Extrovert so far, and I can assure everyone she's not an a-hole, and IS combative, but in the most endearing, funnest possible way.

Stash is an a$$hole too. The exact same kind.

By the way, you said that guy from you work who was bugging you was in Texas, so if you need a flaming bag of poop on his door, I'm on it.

[missychrissy]

OP removed due to my own paranoia.

I'm just about done with this. I'm sure on some level I'm oversensitive sometimes. But darnit, it's not all me.

[missychrissy]

I am beyond proud of her, and honored to call her my friend

I can see why. I would be too.


Stash is an a$$hole too. The exact same kind.

By the way, you said that guy from you work who was bugging you was in Texas, so if you need a flaming bag of poop on his door, I'm on it.

:wub: :laugh:

[AbbeysMom]

Yes, my friend is the one who informed McCain that the person laughing was disabled.

It really irked my friend because she has devoted her life recently to working with people with disabilities and I think it is really what she is meant to do. Her heart is really in it.


I will add some of her comments under all of this..


Seriously!!! Way to be a role model, right?


Here are some of her comments -----







Wow, well said by your friend.

[daylilies]

I must be having a really off day because I can't figure out what being friends with that guy has to do with being afraid of driving in the snow.

[missychrissy]

I must be having a really off day because I can't figure out what being friends with that guy has to do with being afraid of driving in the snow.
:lol:

Nothing at all Kate. Looking back and knowing John like I do, I insulted his manhood by making that snarky comment so he had to reach really far for a way to insult me. Apparently, he decided to go to Facebook for ammunition to use against me. Sure, it's a reach, but my concern is...now he's dragging my family into it?

My kids were also friends with him. I shot out a message to them asking they remove him and I signed in to Rich's account and removed him instantly. Be crappy to me regarding work related stuff...eventually I'll get sick of it and leave. Drag my family into it? That's going too far.

[AmeriBrit]

Chrissy, it sounds like that guy just has a really bad sense of humor and doesn't know when to shut up....hugs to you for dealing with him for so long.

I just thought I'd share a picture of my little Cash that I took today; he's 6 months old next week!!!!!!

http://a4.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-ash1/182062_10150100968053141_648493140_6466973_4856801 _n.jpg

[daylilies]

Yeah...that was quite a reach and really immature.
The worst thing was that I didn't even see the sentence your boss wrote at first. I really had no idea what I was looking at.

[3andMe]

Chrissy, I am a minute away from my break, but all I have to say is WAY over the line unprofessional. He should not have been on your facebook, your family's facebook, much less making innuendos about your dh's masculinity based on his friends! I'm glad you removed him - this is something you could take to HR - but you also should take care to not invite this kind of banter by bringing up talk about real men, too. It sounds like he takes whatever opening he can get and just ups the ante.

[daylilies]

Gosh, Cash is so adorable!

[missychrissy]

Cash is adorable! :wub:

[missychrissy]

Lydia, I know you're right. We do often go too far. Most the time it's fun and in general I'm not easily offended. I guess I'm partially to blame. You're right though, he's always anteing up and he's going too far.

I just dread being in an environment where it's strictly professional and we never horse around at all. I have to decide if I can tolerate the personal attacks or just get out. I've applied for 3 jobs this week and I've looked every day. If something comes along...

[demigraf]

Stash is an a$$hole too. The exact same kind.

By the way, you said that guy from you work who was bugging you was in Texas, so if you need a flaming bag of poop on his door, I'm on it.

A "stash-hole", then. :P
Stash, I hope it's ok that - for no particular reason - I like the sound of that. It's just my word-play disease talkin'.

Molly, he lives Flower Mound, TX. Flower Mound? Could there really be such a place? He had his daughter's 2nd birthday party at that Children's Tech Museum you took me to with the "No Weapons Beyond This Point" sign etched on the glass, and I think he hangs out at the same Gymboree that you go to. So he's definitely within throwing distance of any sort of flaming excrement. I may just call on you for that.




I'm just about done with this. I'm sure on some level I'm oversensitive sometimes. But darnit, it's not all me.

:hugs: Nah. You're not oversensitive. He's your boss. He made you uncomfortable. He should know better than to bring a)mild gay slurs, b) your husband, c) pictures of shirtless guys in general, d) Facebook into the picture and expect to have no culpability if you don't feel good about it. I agree with Lydia. You have a case with HR.

Quick computer-y question, though, chrissy: I have an old laptop with a power supply jack (so the female end) that gets so hot it melts the plastic on any power supply connector you try to plug in it. My current power supply connector is melted. That seems to be the only thing wrong with it. There's no juice left in the battery, and I don't want to get a new power supply cable (since I got a new laptop anyway), so basically, I can't power the thing up. I want to give the laptop to someone else either for parts or to repair it for their own usage, but I want to wipe the hard drive first. I don't want to pull the drive out either. So can I just get a giant magnet and wipe out the hard drive that way? And where would I get such a magnet?

AmeriAsh - I love, love, love the picture of Cash. :wub:

Ashley - Your friend was right on all counts. Good for her!

[demigraf]

AmeriAsh - btw, share pics of your new hair, ok?

[missychrissy]

Stash-hole! :lol: A total compliment, of course.

There may be large magnets that can do the job, but I'm not sure how big they'd need to be. Cornell has a degouser (sp?)...it's big and actually heats the drives up so much that you have to wear heat protective mitts when you use it.

What we use in our office is KillDisk. http://www.killdisk.com/

[missychrissy]

Thanks for the thoughts about my work situation. I removed my first post about it just in case. I'm not sure I can trust him. He nearly had me convinced it was me.

I still prefer a more laid back relationship with some fun banter back and forth, but it's likely not a possible option where I am now.

[3andMe]

We have lighthearted banter at my work, but we are careful about it - making sure it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, and that it's not casting aspersions on anyone, and that everyone enjoys it. If someone has to add "Sheesh, I was only joking" then that's not pleasant banter. After working with the same people for a while, it's easy to know their comfort level with topics and humor. When in doubt, I err on the side of professionalism.

I'd keep that email and a screen shot, Chrissy, even if you're not going to HR right away. I seem to recall you've had some other incidents where he's been less than professional with you, and it seems like he's been a little threatening to you and your position. I would, at the very least, start documenting every piece of unprofessional behavior he has had with you, and maybe set up a meeting with HR if you want to talk about how you feel uncomfortable working with him. Do you know how other people relate to him? Is he like this with everyone or is he particularly aggressive with you?

[3andMe]

Aw, Cash is adorable! I can't believe he's 6 months old already! And he has more hair than any of my children.

[missychrissy]

We have lighthearted banter at my work, but we are careful about it - making sure it doesn't make anyone uncomfortable, and that it's not casting aspersions on anyone, and that everyone enjoys it. If someone has to add "Sheesh, I was only joking" then that's not pleasant banter. After working with the same people for a while, it's easy to know their comfort level with topics and humor. When in doubt, I err on the side of professionalism.

I'd keep that email and a screen shot, Chrissy, even if you're not going to HR right away. I seem to recall you've had some other incidents where he's been less than professional with you, and it seems like he's been a little threatening to you and your position. I would, at the very least, start documenting every piece of unprofessional behavior he has had with you, and maybe set up a meeting with HR if you want to talk about how you feel uncomfortable working with him. Do you know how other people relate to him? Is he like this with everyone or is he particularly aggressive with you?

I couldn't put my finger on it, but as soon as I read "casting aspersions on anyone" it was like a lightbulb moment for me. Thank you! I mean, I like to think I'm easy going and if I make a silly mistake I don't mind being called goofy...I can laugh at myself. And frankly, I prefer laughing at my mistakes. It's not that I don't take them seriously, but I don't take unimportant things too seriously. If that makes sense.

Anyway, with him sometimes he is attacking in his comments, shrouded in humor though they may be. He goes through phases where it's constant...daily, sometimes multiple times a day. Even for someone that generally has a good self esteem, it's worn on me. And then if I get defensive, his knee jerk response is that I'm being emotional or he'll say I'm whining. Those things aren't funny and I've never done that to him. Or anyone. Ever.

I'm his only subordinate. I have no other colleagues. It's just me and him in a 12X15 ft room and we're together for about 6-7 hours a day, 5 days a week. I think even in the best of circumstances that alone can be trying.

I feel mildly guilty dumping on him like this because he's not a bad person. He's actually nice and giving, and he often makes me laugh. He's great about allowing me to take time off whenever I need it and he's never lost his temper with me in any way.

Going to HR isn't an option. It's just me and him and there's absolutely no way to address this without him knowing it was me and getting bent about it. I wouldn't be able to continue working with him if I went to that extent, so rather than make things unpleasant for both of us I've just been keeping my eye out for other jobs I might be qualified for. I have no desire to see him punished or anything...I just really wish he'd learn where the line is and stop crossing it because other than this I genuinely like my job. And I really do like him too. If I could grow a thicker skin, that would be nice but I suspect he'd just keep going further.

[Bridget]

Chrissy, I am so sorry your boss is putting you in such a quandry. How totally uncomfortable that it's just the two of you all day so you can't even really just avoid him without being obvious.
I've always been the girl that the guys give a really hard time to because I can take it and I've found myself in your situation in several jobs as well as with my own male friends where I take a lot of **** with a smile and give a lot of **** with a smile and then suddenly I'm feeling hurt because someone crosses that fine line.

I'm feeling conflicted today. Remember the birthday party that Savana was invited to and not Kai? Well I texted the mom and asked her if I could bring Kai or if it was more of a girl party. Looking back, I should have called as opposed to texting but she's one of those aquaintences I talk to via text over any other form of communication so it was just my first instinct. Well, she never even texted me back and that was last week. :eyebrow: Mark says I should never have asked because maybe her daughter just doesn't like Kai. After I bristled down from the mere thought that anyone could dislike my darling boy I started thinking about how Kai is really loud and rough and tumble and likes to pick his nose and fart and blame it on Franklin the Turtle. It occured to me then that he may not be super popular in the five-year old girl circle.
But now it's too late because the party is today. And as it turned out, dbf went to do an aquarium water change for one of his clients and took Kai with him so we could have probably pulled it off without hurting Kai's feelings. I feel really weird about her not responding to my text at all. Savana really likes the little girl and I hope I haven't made it so we won't be invited to things any longer. Ugh. I honestly feel like I'm just a walking social faux pas.

[missychrissy]

Did Savannah attend?

[3andMe]

I honestly feel like I'm just a walking social faux pas.

Bridget, sometimes I am the walking social faux pas, and sometimes I am the straightlaced stick in the mud. It really depends on what group I'm with, how I'm viewed. And if they see me as such extremes, really, they're probably not my best fit anyway.

I actually choose to think that most of the time things are a much bigger deal in our own heads than they are in other people's. Then, of course, I come onto APA and see people posting "Can you believe she said this?" or "Someone I know did that!" and I realize that the most trivial things can get people all bent out of shape, but most of the time I really do think that it's easier to think my way. :winks:

[missychrissy]

Sometimes I read threads like that (they're all over the web too) and I feel like no matter what you say, a person can potentially be offended. I get amazed at some of the things people get worked up over. It's like they want to dictate to everyone else how think and what to say in every given situation. If I worried about pleasing everyone, I'd have to be mute. :P Instead, I try to be sincere and tactful (most the time) and if someone is offended by it, then it's their problem.

[daylilies]

I read somewhere "If it can be misinterpreted, it will be"
I always try to keep that in mind and try to be as clear as I can.

[missychrissy]

Sometimes even if the person totally understands your point, they don't like what you say. Especially in terms of offering sympathy....like for me, I don't get offended if a Christian sincerely tells me they'll pray for me. I might think they're wasting their time, but I know that when someone like my g'ma says it, it comes from the heart and it's really endearing. Other secular people I know actually get offended by that sort of thing. No one in here that I'm aware of, but I've heard things like that from other people before. Now, if I'm having a heated discussion with a "Christian" who tries it with an "I'll pray for you" then I take it as the Christian fluck you and that is offensive :D It's all in the context.

[daylilies]

I don't get offended by "I'll pray for you." I think of it as the same thing as if I said "I'll think of you."

[AmeriBrit]

Here's the haircut: (am thinking of going a little shorter in the back so that there is more a slant)

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/182290_10150102093118141_648493140_6477856_5008043 _n.jpg

[daylilies]

Cute!

[missychrissy]

I love it!! Is your hair naturally that straight?

[AmeriBrit]

No! I straighten it. My natural hair is very wavy/curly.

[missychrissy]

You have really gorgeous hair.

I can't flat iron my hair, it breaks apart so easy. Even if I do it the day after having it cut, I'll find 100's of split ends. I've thought about chemically straightening it, but I'm sure that is probably just as bad as daily (or every other day) straightening. Boo.

I have hair envy!

[AmeriBrit]

Aww, that's a shame, Chrissy but your hair looks really nice in all the pics I've seen of you so don't envy! You wouldn't have envied me in high school. I sported a fro for a good while before I discovered hair straighteners and mousse for wavy hair!

[missychrissy]

Thanks, but it looks ok in pictures but if you stood in front of me you can visually see the split, fried ends. It's deplorable!

I've tried using the expensive products for over a year, probably closer to 2 years, with no luck. I'm not sure of baking soda is doing any better, but I guess it's not making it worse. The apple cider vinegar definitely makes it feel drier when I use that, so I stopped. I really need to get it cut, but I desperately want longer hair. If I tell them to cut all the dead off (which it needs) then I'm going to have a short hair cut. I can't win.

[missychrissy]

I got some good news about my first choice house. The sellers drilled a whole new well! That was one of the issues our lender had with the place, because the original well was accessible through the basement. Now that there's a new well, that's no longer an issue!!!

We still have to see if they'll agree to write a mortgage on the place because there is an existing gas lease on the property. In upstate NY, that's been a real wrench in home buying prospectors all over. Many lenders refuse to touch properties that have gas leases. I guess it depends on how the lease is actually written as to whether our lender will agree to it or not. My Realtor said she hopes to have an answer for us tomorrow.

I'm so incredibly hopeful right now it's not even funny. We've found a couple other possibilities while we wait, but none have come close to feeling as good as our first choice house.

[daylilies]

Ooh, good luck Chrissy!

[Gwenn]

That's great news, Chrissy!

Ashley, your hair is beautiful! I'm another with curly/wavy hair and experiencing hair envy. I've tried straightening at home, but there is a spot in the back I can never get completely straight (always the same spot) when I do it myself. So I gave up.

I confess DH told me he's started packing!

[missychrissy]

:hooray: Mandy!!

[Cosmosmom]

Ok so after being gone a few days...lots to catch up on! We had my MIL and her brother visiting over the weekend. I like DH's uncle enough but had to keep my mouth shut a few times when politics came up. And I feel a bit badly for not saying more. Uncle is on the left...but than he's not pro-choice and since he is pretty religious not for gay marriage, just civil unions. He could be much worse and since he's mostly pretty open and has good intentions, I didn't really say much. My MIL that I just love...she basically told him, he's a man and just can't understand. She would like to think that she would never have an abortion....but really since she's never been in the shoes of having to decide, she doesn't know and it's not for her to decide for someone else. And really, I don't think that his family totally knows how liberal/left we are. His mom would know the most and even she was surprised when DH and I were worried about the adoption agency not wanting us since we couldn't say we are christians. But I didn't say too much...well I did say that I can't think of a single issue where I would be on the conservative side. And I figured that it could be so much worse....I don't have anyone in our families that I could say is a republican or a conservative.

Yeah Mandy!!!

Yeah Chrissy...keeping fingers crossed for you!

Ashley, Cash is very cute and you do a great job with a flat iron. I'm another with wavy/curly hair and sometimes I sort of flat iron it but have a hard time with the back also. I'm even thinking of seeing if I can teach DH how to get that back spot for me.

Chrissy, how often do you get your hair cut? I have pretty long hair, it's maybe 4-5 inches above the waist right now and I think it's in pretty great shape. My stylist a few weeks ago saw me looking the books while I was waiting and said, "if you are going short you need to find someone else to cut it because I can't do it". It takes a while to get hair in good condition...sucked because I lost about half my hair after surgery and when it started to grow in again, I had these ends sticking out. I had to get layers for a while to hide the regrowth and I had to keep it closer to my shoulders.
Now what I do is not color yet, use a heat protecting spray before flat ironing or using a curling iron or blower dryer. I do not wash daily, I do not flat iron daily and I actually rarely use a blower dryer and let my hair air dry. I use a conditioner but not on the bangs or roots. And I get a trim every 7-8 weeks....I think that is so key because she gets the split ends right away.

[demigraf]

:hugs:, bridget. Sometimes I feel like a walking social faux pas (well, at work, mainly). And then I get a little irritated that there's such a thing as unspoken rules of etiquette and - worse yet - professional politicking in the first place. Did I mean what I say and say what I mean? Was I considerate? OK, then. What more do you need? I'm sure I broke all sorts of "codes" with our wedding too, but whatever. We were sincere and made sure we all had a good time. If your friend really did weird out on you for your harmless little text question, then maybe she's just not that "worth it".

kate, been thinking about your comments about introverts being fine in a group or onstage, bet less comfortable one-on-one, and that's totally me. If I'm in an unfamiliar threesome (socially, guys. get your secular heads out of the gutter. :winks:) and one person walks away, I am suddenly thinking "oh crap. what do I say to this peraon now?" I am terrible with small talk. I feel like I'm missing that gene. Luckily, I figured out that just asking a people questions about themselves is a good way to get past the awkwardness.

Mandy --- whoo hoo!!!! SO exciting! Does that mean he's coming in days? Weeks? Sorry if I'm asking stuff you can't reveal.

chrissy, I know you know this, but the househunting process is an emotional game, so I'll repeat what a friend told me about the home-buying process. It's a good idea not to get too attached to any one house. There are a lot of factors outside your control, so it's somewhat like getting attached to the idea of winning a game of chance. The housing market isn't so much a lakefront of possibilities as it is a river of opportunities that flows by you. One may pass you by, but another opportunity (and then another and another) will show up before you know it. You'll get the home you wish for. :)

Ash, LOVE the cut!

[daylilies]

kate, been thinking about your comments about introverts being fine in a group or onstage, bet less comfortable one-on-one, and that's totally me. If I'm in an unfamiliar threesome (socially, guys. get your secular heads out of the gutter. :winks:) and one person walks away, I am suddenly thinking "oh crap. what do I say to this peraon now?" I am terrible with small talk. I feel like I'm missing that gene. Luckily, I figured out that just asking a people questions about themselves is a good way to get past the awkwardness.



:laugh:
Yes, that happens to me too in a group of more than one. If it goes down to me and one other, I panic. I feel like I'm holding an interview. "So...have you lived here long?" Ugh. I listen to myself talk and I wouldn't want to be friends with me.

[AmeriBrit]

I'm so happy for you, Mandy! Is your DH coming home for good or is it just another leave for now?

Last hair post from me, I promise! I wanted to share with y'all what it looks like in it's natural wavy state (well, with a little help of the flat iron to smooth it out a bit!) It is a work of art getting the hair straight in the back, but I've seemed to get it right after years of practice.

http://a2.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/189715_10150102827658141_648493140_6487442_1802607 _n.jpg

[Ky'sMom]

Your hair is really cute Ash!!

I am kind of a hair fanatic, especially curly hair. I won't make all you ladies suffer through too many of my ramblings on haircare but I must ask Chrissy, if you have tried co-washing. Just using conditioner to wash your hair without baking soda. Conditioner has cleaning agents and is gentler on your hair than shampoo. After I started co-washing (and after I cut a few inches off my hair) I no longer have split end problems anymore. Almost my whole head of hair was split IMO for a while. If you want extra cleaning, you can use a clarifying conditioner, which has extra cleaning ingredients and is what you should use after swimming to get chemicals out of your hair. I use herbal essences to co-wash, hello hydration, which keeps my hair really healthy and not dry. I have severely dry hair though so you may not want to use that depending on the texture, but if you have curly dry hair, then it would probably work for you since curly hair needs more moiture anyway.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Chrissy, how often do you get your hair cut? I have pretty long hair, it's maybe 4-5 inches above the waist right now and I think it's in pretty great shape. My stylist a few weeks ago saw me looking the books while I was waiting and said, "if you are going short you need to find someone else to cut it because I can't do it". It takes a while to get hair in good condition...sucked because I lost about half my hair after surgery and when it started to grow in again, I had these ends sticking out. I had to get layers for a while to hide the regrowth and I had to keep it closer to my shoulders.
Now what I do is not color yet, use a heat protecting spray before flat ironing or using a curling iron or blower dryer. I do not wash daily, I do not flat iron daily and I actually rarely use a blower dryer and let my hair air dry. I use a conditioner but not on the bangs or roots. And I get a trim every 7-8 weeks....I think that is so key because she gets the split ends right away.

All hair texture is different and I simply have fine, thin hair. It's sensitive to just about anything. I know it needs a cut, but if I had it trimmed every 7-8 weeks it simply wouldn't grow. My hair grows painfully slow as it is. My goal is to get a good cut and find a regime that works without destroying my hair in the process so I can hopefully go longer than 8 weeks between trims.


chrissy, I know you know this, but the househunting process is an emotional game, so I'll repeat what a friend told me about the home-buying process. It's a good idea not to get too attached to any one house. There are a lot of factors outside your control, so it's somewhat like getting attached to the idea of winning a game of chance. The housing market isn't so much a lakefront of possibilities as it is a river of opportunities that flows by you. One may pass you by, but another opportunity (and then another and another) will show up before you know it. You'll get the home you wish for. :)

I know, and I do have other houses in mind to look at, but I'm going all for our first choice house now. Once it's sold to someone else or we hit the final brick wall then we'll move on. There's one house in particular that we both feel right now we could be happy in, but the location isn't as great as our first choice house.


I am kind of a hair fanatic, especially curly hair. I won't make all you ladies suffer through too many of my ramblings on haircare but I must ask Chrissy, if you have tried co-washing. Just using conditioner to wash your hair without baking soda. Conditioner has cleaning agents and is gentler on your hair than shampoo. After I started co-washing (and after I cut a few inches off my hair) I no longer have split end problems anymore. Almost my whole head of hair was split IMO for a while. If you want extra cleaning, you can use a clarifying conditioner, which has extra cleaning ingredients and is what you should use after swimming to get chemicals out of your hair. I use herbal essences to co-wash, hello hydration, which keeps my hair really healthy and not dry. I have severely dry hair though so you may not want to use that depending on the texture, but if you have curly dry hair, then it would probably work for you since curly hair needs more moiture anyway.

Erin
I would consider than, but my hair is uber sensitive to conditioner. If I use a normal one, it looks greasy. Panteen or any of the 'deep conditioning' conditioners on the market are simply too heavy for my hair.

Last night I mixed up a batch of egg whites and mayonnaise. This is the best my hair has felt in years, so my tentative plan is to get a good cut and do this treatment once a week.

[Bridget]

Thanks Myles. I know this woman and I have almost nothing in common and she has actually made comments to me before that I found to be very racially offensive so I don't really like her at all. I just feel bad that I know Savana would have enjoyed herself. But she doesn't even know she missed it so no harm done.
I'm so excited to join this homeschool group so we can have regular outings and hopefully make some like minded friends. When I told Mark about it he said, "Well before you commit let's make sure they aren't weird hippies." I was like Um. Dude. I LOVE weird hippies! :laugh: I guess this is why when I go to meet up with my friends I leave him at home.
I really liked that the woman did say, "Just so you know we are a really laid back bunch and we really like for the kids to just play and be kids. And we have no religious affiliation at all. It's important to us."
Cool.
And I hate my hair too. Mine is straight but not smooth unless I straighten it. It just doesn't lay nicely and flips out on one side and under on the other. :crazy:

[AmeriBrit]

Wow, that's awesome, Bridget about the home schooling. I'm sure your kids will love being home schooled since you're such a good teacher to them already!

[demigraf]

That group of homeschool moms sounds really cool, bridget. I hope you get a lot out of hanging with them.

I just wanted to share one more link of Bodhi from last week: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nz_iOLiV74A I love how he makes me do something that I really don't want to do because it makes me feel silly, and then he has a way of looking at me that says "Woman?!? What are you doing, you nutjob?!?"

Got lots of work to do today. I really should skedaddle...

[missychrissy]

Awww...I lol'd at that look he gave you!! Too cute and funny :wub:

[Cosmosmom]

All hair texture is different and I simply have fine, thin hair. It's sensitive to just about anything. I know it needs a cut, but if I had it trimmed every 7-8 weeks it simply wouldn't grow. My hair grows painfully slow as it is. My goal is to get a good cut and find a regime that works without destroying my hair in the process so I can hopefully go longer than 8 weeks between trims.
Last night I mixed up a batch of egg whites and mayonnaise. This is the best my hair has felt in years, so my tentative plan is to get a good cut and do this treatment once a week.
Oh I must have missed the part about your hair being fine. I hear the words wavy and I just picture something else. Do you have a good stylist? They might have some ideas of the right products and style that would work for you.
It does take forever to grow out hair when you trim it a lot....I have bangs which is why I have to go in every 7-8 weeks and long as I'm there, I get the back trimmed also....kept it healthy but it's taken years to get it this long.

Eggs whites and mayo...never tried that one myself is that for conditioning?

I am irritated because my Pantane recently changed and I'm not sure that I like it now....might be on the hunt for new products.

[missychrissy]

I used the salon products for well over a year, probably closer to 2. They didn't make any difference in the health of my hair at all, and I was more religious about having it cut/trimmed then too. After all that time and money I decided it's not worth the effort. I'm just going to do my home remedies for a while and see if that makes a difference.

[Ky'sMom]

Keep up with the home remedies. You will find something that works. My aunt here is ALWAYS telling me I need to go get my hair done (even though she also constantly complains about how there are no good hairdressers in Atlanta :eyeroll:) especially after I had Elle and my hair was a big, balding (due to PP hormones and BFing) frizz ball.

I really got into natural haircare at that time and finding things that worked without costing a ton of money. Everyone compliments me on my hair now and it is my most loved physical feature about myself, even though I wish it were nappier sometimes, a term black people despise and think I am nuts for because I would like thicker nappier hair.

Egg/mayo combos are great for the hair. In a haircare forum I'm a part of, they are considered a protein treatment and strengthen the hair. I know there are some commercial protein treatments as well like Awapuhi that I have heard good things about working on fine hair.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Thanks Erin :wub:

[Gwenn]

Thanks for the congrats everyone. DH won't be home right away - I can't post specific travel dates but it's roughly a month and a half to two months before he'll be home home although he'll be in the country before then. But they make them start early. I just love that it's the beginning of the end. And yes, his deployment is over (until/unless he's sent again) and since he's National Guard, he'll be de-activated and eligible for unemployment. Not crazy about losing the paycheck, but having him home more than makes up for it and then this fall/winter likely we'll be moving to GA unless the budget is cut to they point they aren't hiring for the position he's being considered for.

Myles, Bodhi is adorable. Thanks for sharing the video. Ashley, so is Cash - forgot to say earlier. Everyone's kids are gorgeous (including Cosmo).

Ashley, I'm continuing with the hair envy, curly or straight.

Erin, I'm considering trying co-washing. I'm intrigued by it, and I've found that I do better with conditioner than shampoo most of the time anyway. So I'm thinking about washing with shampoo maybe 1-2 times per week then co-washing in between.

Jennifer, I had to laugh at your comments about your family. I made the decision that politics and family don't mix for me. I'm more conservative than my parents and siblings and I just don't want to get into heated discussions with my loved ones (well, I love heated discussions with DH but that's different). So I never, ever talk politics with family. I was amused last week when my brother's girlfriend told me I would have to hide my liberal views if I moved to Georgia. I wanted to laugh so hard. But honestly, she's probably correct and I would be way more liberal than most there. Which is even funnier.

[Gwenn]

I always forget something when I post.

Myles, small talk for me is an acquired skill. I used to be really terrible at it. I guess somewhere along the way in my studies with all these speech pathologists (who tend to be a really talkative crowd, if eccentric) I got in enough practice at it to feel comfortable doing it. Now I only have a problem with it if the other person is struggling on their end - then I'm not sure what to do!

[Bridget]

So here's an interesting twist in the whole bday party faux pas.
The mom works at a food production factory and when her daughter attended my daycare she used to bring me cases of organic frozen pizzas. Apparently they were a poor sell and her boss would let the employees buy them for a quarter a pizza but once he learned of her daughter attending an "organic" daycare he said she could take them. Super nice.
Well I'm in the kitchen today with two huge milk spots on the chest of my tank top, scrubbing the **** out my wok that dbf burned food onto, kind of sweating and my hair half in a pony tail and half out and not at all in a cute wispy way more of an I ran into a brick wall sort of way. I only mention this because said mom is always hair, nails and make up done. Always. So I felt slightly self concious and totally speechless when suddenly she's at my kitchen door with a case of pizzas! I said I was sorry we couldn't make it to the party and she just blew it off and said "Oh it's fine! Don't worry!"
Handed me the pizzas and she was off!
Huh?

[Bridget]

And can I just say the idea that we all suck at small talk makes me really want to get us all in room together?:laugh:

[Gwenn]

And can I just say the idea that we all suck at small talk makes me really want to get us all in room together?:laugh:

I would so love to have a secular meet-up. We're all so far apart!

[missychrissy]

Bridget that's sweet she brought you those pizzas. My kids have had many parties through the years and people don't attend for a whole variety of reasons. I know I never take it personally, and it sounds like she didn't either.

I'd also love a secular meet-up. I'm willing to travel anywhere!!

[daylilies]

LOL Bridget, I was laughing at your story about being all disheveled when the mom showed up. That always seems to happen to me. (not that I ever really look put together but it seems to be worse when I run into someone I know)
I think us all getting together would be hilarious! Especially if we brought the kids. I think we should have one with kids and one without. :)

[AmeriBrit]

We should all meet up in London for the 2012 Olympic games!!! Just a thought...lol

[missychrissy]

:party:Boy don't I wish.

I have a Mac that has exceeded 20 gig of data in a month (a short month at that). It's in the grad student's lounge. wtf are they downloading?

...that's just a rhetorical question. I hate that we have to police the graduate students.

[Bridget]

I confess my extended family is getting all heated with each other on facebook regarding the whole Scott Walker bs.
Here's the thing. I know how I feel about and of course I think I'm right but I am able to also see the opposing side and why they think they are right, It really bothers me when people are so closed minded that they won't try to understand and agree to disagree.

[missychrissy]

I don't get Walker's side at all, but I'm not going to argue with my family about it. I'm bent at the idea that 'they' felt like it was ok to extend Bush's tax cuts to those making over 250,000/year because those 'poor rich folks' needed the money and it wasn't fair to make them pay, yet 'they' think that it's ok to take away from people making $50,000/year or less. It burns my goad, actually.

[Bridget]

Oh you know I agree with you, Chrissy.
I really think some of my republican relatives are assholes but I know how they think and I know why they think they are right so I'm not wasting my energy trying to argue.

[Ky'sMom]

Oh you know I agree with you, Chrissy.
I really think some of my republican relatives are assholes but I know how they think and I know why they think they are right so I'm not wasting my energy trying to argue.

This is how I usually feel about everyone who disagrees with my political leanings. I don't consider myself a democrat because I have met quite a few of them as well who are VERY closed minded about situations that don't follow their party lines. But usually with both sides, only if someone asks, Iwill say my peace and then not argue anything else because I feel it is a waste.

Oh and wanted to mention, if we ever met up, I will be the queen of small talk. Even though I usually don't like it, I am VERY good at it. DH and a literature teacher who was also head of our drama department in college both say that I have a natural acting ability and I am great at being "Social Erin" the one who is all bubbly and will talk about most anything. I just pretend I am this professional socialite party woman and I go around the room and introduce myself and talk about all kinds of subjects of all kinds of people. It really tires me out though which is why I don't party often or even go outside of my circle when it comes to social gatherings.

I bet all of us would get along great though. If not I would pull out Social Erin and you would see that I can talk in much longer paragraphs than I write out in this thread.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

I confess my extended family is getting all heated with each other on facebook regarding the whole Scott Walker bs.
Here's the thing. I know how I feel about and of course I think I'm right but I am able to also see the opposing side and why they think they are right, It really bothers me when people are so closed minded that they won't try to understand and agree to disagree.
Yeah that is some BS going on. Seems he came to my town yesterday but nobody really knew about it until he was gone.
I am really lucky in that both our families....we all hate him and want him gone. Pretty much we all agree that they should have to pay more into retirement and health insurance...I make about what an experienced teacher makes with a masters...and yet I pay for retirement and insurance and I don't get that much vacation. I even sometimes bring work home or stay late or come in early as I am salaried. My DH got his pay cut and for a while had his hours cut in 2009. Now he has some mandatory overtime but they still haven't given them their pay back. That is pretty much the view of our families....can understand why people want them to pay in more since the rest of us pay in.
The hate and trouble comes in when the unions have agreed to talk and agreed to concessions....and yet that little weasal won't talk unless it's to billionaires. He cares nothing for the working/middle class.

[Cosmosmom]

I would be likely pretty quiet at first. Unless we get on the subject of dogs. I can talk tons about my Cosmo. :)

I'm sorry for those of you have have conservative relatives. My family is so small and they are liberals and really not even religious at all...some are spiritual but that is it. My favorite uncle that died last year was a hippie back in his day, cared about the environment, cared about the average person a great deal and was gay. My auntie is a lesbian. My daddy was a steward in the United Auto Workers...one of my college scholarships was from the UAW that I won after writing an essay about unions. My sister doesn't care much about politics but I know she is very left when it comes to social issues.
Dh's family is all working class...grandpa used to be union at Pabst brewery, his unions have been union before.

And with DH, well I don't think that we would be together if we weren't pretty well alike in our politics...we are both pretty left and I'm probably just a tad bit more left him. The only thing I can think of that we don't agree on is death penalty (I'm against in all cases and he's for in a very limited amount of cases).

I can't really imagine what it would be like to have heated discussions with family and disgree so much. AT least when I was complaining about DH's uncle, it was more him coming from a very strong Catholic position.

The one thing DH can't stand is say for example all the Walker supporters....when you ask them why, most can't come up with a good logical reason why they support him. Or if you say, what is that going to do for YOU....they can't support their beliefs.

[missychrissy]

Even my conservative family thinks that what's going on in WI is bs. The only ones I know I'd have a problem with would be Rich's extended family, which I have nil to do with, and my father's wife's family. I guess they're so conservative, one of her brothers actually poked my dad in the chest and got very confrontational because my dad wore an Obama hat. If I were there and seen that, it would have been on. I don't care who you are, you don't treat my dad like that without getting slapped flat.

[demigraf]

If we all had a meetup, I think I'd be a quiet observer at first. DH calls it "data gathering" when I'm quiet. But I'm told I'm cordial and make people feel comfortable right away (I'm pretty attuned to whether people are comfy or not, and tend to be the one to smooth out conversational awkwardness, so my guess is that you wouldn't see any discomfort on my part, even if I might feel it.) But we have an unfair advantage over most strangers. We know and like each other already. :)

I've been fortunate enough to meet 9 moms from my DD room all over the country, and they've all been awesome, despite vast differences in parenting styles/politics etc. It's just cool to finally be face-to-face with someone who knows lots of personal things about your marriage and bladder. :P

I have lots and lots of conservative in-laws. I think I have a strong grasp on fiscal conservativism, even if I feel I've gotten "over it" myself following my Ayn Rand years, so I can agree to disagree on a lot of things. And coming from my ultra-liberal alma mater, Berkeley, I know how obnoxious extremism can go both ways. So like Erin, I'm an equal opportunity contrarian when the situation calls for it. What I have a difficult time dealing with is when my FIL says stuff like "I won't read that article because it's from a liberal paper." Or my BIL tells his nephew he's silly for wanting to travel because "America is the best country in the world. Why go anywhere else?" when he himself hasn't been out of the country. Stuff like that is what qualifies as willful ignorance. And there's usually little point in telling them they lack the knowledge to make the judgments that they're making. Because they just get mad and defensive.

I got into it once with that same BIL on FB about the so-called Ground Zero Mosque. Molly briefly hopped into the fray and it was fun. He didn't really present a real defense of his ideas. He just acted all offended and incredulous that I'd ask him to actually clarify why he was offended. Then he'd say things like "if you could only know what I know, but you don't know the whole story about that imam." (Of course, he didn't actually come out and tell me what he "knew" because then he'd have to validate it.) Then he tried to link me to an editorial that expressed his viewpoints for him, but naturally couldn't argue back when I gave him my rebuttal. He said some vaguely offensive things about Muslims, saying "If those people want to be considered Americans...", as though they're automatically "others" by default. And finally he resorted to the old standard "It's mostly gut. You just don't get it." To which I replied "Of course I don't get it because you never adequately explained yourself." We are no longer friends on FB.

Last Christmas in Boston with the in-laws was awkward, especially because I ended up his Secret Santa. :laugh:

Anyway, so yeah, that's the perfect example of why it's not worth it to get into an argument with some folks, ... when they demonstrate that they lack the ability to have a well-reasoned argument. It's one thing to say, "Here's my well-informed POV, and there's your well-informed POV, and we'll disagree along these value lines." It's another thing to say "I disagree with you because you're just wrong and bad, even though I can't articulate why, but maybe you'll concede to my point if I act morally superior to you." I don't have much patience for that.

Then there's the way my in-laws treat our atheism. :eyeroll: I'll have to share that with you later.

[The10Eels]

I confess I bought plane tickets for the girls and I to go to KC, MO for my spring break.

Right after I bought them I got a call that my BFF's trial will most likely not get postponed again, and I will be getting subpoenaed for March 7-11. My trip is planned for the 10-15. :(

[Bean]

I confess I bought plane tickets for the girls and I to go to KC, MO for my spring break.

Right after I bought them I got a call that my BFF's trial will most likely not get postponed again, and I will be getting subpoenaed for March 7-11. My trip is planned for the 10-15. :(
Does this mean you're coming up? I hate to be happy when you used a sad face, but.... WEEEEE!!!!

[missychrissy]

I confess I bought plane tickets for the girls and I to go to KC, MO for my spring break.

Right after I bought them I got a call that my BFF's trial will most likely not get postponed again, and I will be getting subpoenaed for March 7-11. My trip is planned for the 10-15. :(

Oh no! Is there anything you can do?

[3andMe]

Claire asked me tonight if fruit was alive, if it had ever been alive, and when we discussed it a little bit she said she wasn't going to eat it any more because it was something that was living. Instead, she was going to keep eating her hot dogs and stuff like that. :shocker:

So then we had a big melt down at the table. And we discussed the circle of life (I thought that might be the best way to put it) and decomposition, and the importance of the smallest bacteria all the way up the food chain. Life feeds on life.

Whoever said she was destined to become a vegetarian when she freaked out because of the process of extinction may have been on the right track.

It was interesting how Ronin kept nodding during this whole process and interjecting things like, "Didn't you know that, Claire?" and "Yeah, when you get old you just die--everybody dies, you know." I think he's been paying way more attention to the Discovery Channel wildlife shows than she has been.

[Gwenn]

Claire asked me tonight if fruit was alive, if it had ever been alive, and when we discussed it a little bit she said she wasn't going to eat it any more because it was something that was living. Instead, she was going to keep eating her hot dogs and stuff like that. :shocker:

So then we had a big melt down at the table. And we discussed the circle of life (I thought that might be the best way to put it) and decomposition, and the importance of the smallest bacteria all the way up the food chain. Life feeds on life.

Whoever said she was destined to become a vegetarian when she freaked out because of the process of extinction may have been on the right track.

It was interesting how Ronin kept nodding during this whole process and interjecting things like, "Didn't you know that, Claire?" and "Yeah, when you get old you just die--everybody dies, you know." I think he's been paying way more attention to the Discovery Channel wildlife shows than she has been.

He's 3???

All I can say is, I spend WAYYY to much time with communication impaired children. Which your children are clearly not! :wub:

[missychrissy]

I don't think Conner realizes that everybody dies yet. :shocker: And he's 4 and a half!

[daylilies]

Josh keeps talking about death. It's disturbing and I don't like him to talk like that but I also don't want him to feel like he can't talk about it, you know?
Yesterday he was kicking my foot under the table and I asked him to stop and he said "I'm pretending it's a died person." ??? I just don't even know how to approach that.

[Bridget]

Josh keeps talking about death. It's disturbing and I don't like him to talk like that but I also don't want him to feel like he can't talk about it, you know?
Yesterday he was kicking my foot under the table and I asked him to stop and he said "I'm pretending it's a died person." ??? I just don't even know how to approach that.
I think I have said this before but my kids have taught me to be more comfortable with death. They incorporate it into their play and it used to bother me and I used to redirect them but now I leave it alone. It helps to remember that fantasy play is the work of children. It is just their way of sorting through all of the information coming at them.
So I don't even think it's necessary for you to approach it in that particular situation. You can just say nothing.

[daylilies]

Okay, I'll try that. I just don't want him saying stuff like that at school or in front of littler kids! Guess I can't control that, though.

[stash]

All I can say is that if you're freaked out by death, kids will be. The more you avoid a topic, the more interesting it becomes for them. Oscar's been exposed to death in natural simple ways since i can remember. First in the garden, with plants and seasons. Then with our chickens and predators. Also because we buy whole animals from farms for meat and we've talked through that with him. He gets it, for sure, and is very comfortable with natural processes. Babies are born, grow up, have more babies, then die. Their babies have more babies and so on... he loves that idea.

That said, like the rest of is, death makes him sad and scares him a bit. Normal. We talk it through everytime it weighs on him.

I think expecting kids not to talk about death is like expecting them not to play with their genitals. Unrealistic and not healthy. And I wouldn't be so concerned about Josh talking about death as I would be you NOT talking about it and him getting his info second hand from.other kids.

Oscar and I play hunting elk some days. He rides on my back (I'm the horse) with his bow and when he shoots one he thanks them for dying so we can have food. He gets that we don't kill things unless we're going to eat them or they're going to kill us.

[stash]

Lydia, do the kids know about Esme? We chose not to tell the boys about Jasper until they're much older.

[missychrissy]

Conner is fully aware that animals die. For whatever reason, the possibility of a human dying hasn't crossed his mind. At least, he's never said anything to me about it. He loves to hunt...both pretend as well as tagging along with Daddy. Although, the last time Rich went small game hunting, Conner opted to stay home and play a game on the computer. :D

[daylilies]

I'm not freaked out by death (okay maybe a little) but I'm a little disgusted at him saying he's pretending to kick a dead person. I do talk to him about death, I talked to him when we had to put our cat down and I said everyone dies, and that means they don't come back. So now he talks about the cat to anyone who will listen and he says things like he'll miss me when he's dead. I'm glad he's talking about it and I'm fine with talking to him about it. It was just that one comment that weirded me out.

[3andMe]

Lydia, do the kids know about Esme? We chose not to tell the boys about Jasper until they're much older.

This subject came up with us (me and dh) very recently, because I was looking through pictures with the twins on the computer and decided to quickly jump over the pictures with Esme. The twins don't know about her. We don't want to wait so long that it's a momentous, huge thing, or that it feels like we kept her a secret, but on the other hand Claire loves to look at old pictures but then gets upset if she sees us with people she doesn't know. And now with them feeling at least a little secure that death happens to old people, I don't know. We'd planned on this Spring.

Gwenn, I've been getting told a lot lately that my children, Ronin in particular, speak like miniature adults. I was relaying a story about him and someone interrupted and said "Wait, he actually said 'Perhaps'?" and I said "Yes," without thinking that was an odd word for a child to say. He just says what he hears at home, though. He can say mass spectrometer better than he can say spaghetti. They've come a long way from being close to the bottom of the normal language development range until about age 2.

[daylilies]

LOL, Josh says perhaps, too. He has come a long way too, since we were worried about him at 18 months not saying very much, to speaking in non stop paragraphs now.

[missychrissy]

Conner's big words are limited to dinosaurs and the periods in which they lived :lol:

He also shocked both Rich and I yesterday when Rich was helping him find a new online game to play and before Rich could click a link, Conner piped up and said, "Not those ones. They are for iPhones." To my knowledge, he's never even seen an iPhone, but Rich said he was right. It was a link to Apple Apps.

[demigraf]

LOL. Bodhi says "maybe" now because that's my standard answer to a lot of things when I don't want to lie to him, but also don't want to flat out say "No" and risk a meltdown. Like, he'll ask me, "Play Arie & Theo again park today?" (those are his two besties).And I'll say "Maybe." I make sure to sometimes say it even when the answer is "Yes", just so he knows it works both ways. :)

[missychrissy]

My standby is "We'll see..." Sometimes that's a yes, and sometimes it's a no. With the girls' it's more common because they'll ask me if someone can come stay the night for an upcoming weekend, and I swear 9 times out of 10 they only ask on exhausted Wednesday...a time when I can't envision doing anything else other than hiding under my covers all weekend.

[stash]

Kids use the language they hear. Oscar talks about clients and presentations and can read from a Japanese menu. Because we do :lol:

I'm struggling with when to tell Oscar about jasper. I'd wanted to wait until after pregnancy for obvious reasons, and now I want to tell him before he gets so old that it seems like we hid it from him. But then Gus grows up little knowing about it, and honestly, I liked introducing Oscar to the concept of death gradually. Plants, animals, people. It almost seems unfair to start with the knowledge that even healthy little babes can die, and in their mama's tummies. But maybe I'm overthinking it. I do that sometimes.:lol:

P.s. if some of you have tried to friend me on fb and I declined, please don't be offended. I stopped friending people I don't know irl a while back...

[demigraf]

P.s. if some of you have tried to friend me on fb and I declined, please don't be offended. I stopped friending people I don't know irl a while back...


You big stash-hole! :laugh:

[missychrissy]

:lol:

[demigraf]

I confess I'm having a honeymoon period with my new neighborhood. Today was the first morning I woke up in the new house. My commute was beautiful. Everything from the community surf movie benefit (http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_17396219?nclick_check=1) this Friday, to the miles of hiking trails behind the "Orchid Center" at the bottom of the hill, to the BBQ joint and coffeehouses in old railcars also at the bottom of the hill, to the "Firefighter Storytime" at the library today including tours of a real fire truck (I called DH and told him about it and he's excited to take Bodhi in an hour) is making me silly happy at the moment. Even the fact that lots of high-school kids seem to come up to the top of the canyon where we live to drink and party and leave bottles in our yard isn't getting me down at the moment.

[demigraf]

Oh, yeah, and I got this from some guy at the train station the other day:

http://i419.photobucket.com/albums/pp276/bellycatessin/photo-30.jpg

It made me laugh and I smiled at him.

But later, I opened it up and was actually really preachy. It starts with a decent enough premise ("Everyone's a little fanatical about certain things in their lives. You have hobbies, don't you? You love your family, don't you? Some might say you're a fanatic about those things.") Reasonable enough, right? OK - maybe you're not such a nut afterall.

Then it makes this big logical leap - "Well, the religious fanatic who handed you this pamphlet wants you to know that there is a BIG difference between being merely "religious" and having a RELATIONSHIP with GOD (who loves us lots). God wants us to look to him as NUMERO UNO #1, before ANYTHING or ANYONE else to find our security and self worth in HIM alone."

It's a total non sequitur. His logic is basically "I am not a fanatic because you are fanatical about things yourself. Therefore, you must listen to me when I tell you that you should be fanatical about God because he says it's wrong to be fanatical about anything else."

Doesn't add up, does it?

[3andMe]

P.s. if some of you have tried to friend me on fb and I declined, please don't be offended. I stopped friending people I don't know irl a while back...

I did that, too, and actually deleted a bunch of APA people, except for the mods, because I need another way to stay in touch with them. I hardly ever use FB, though, so it seemed kind of important to keep it restricted to people who know me well enough to know that I don't use it.

Then I got a couple of messages from people I'd deleted, asking for explanations, and I explained myself, and one person didn't believe I knew as many APA people IRL as I had on there. It turned rather unpleasant, unfortunately, but I have had a ton of meet-ups.

[Ky'sMom]

I agree kids use language that they hear. I remember people being shocked at Ky using the word "sly" when he was around 3 years old. I never thought anything of it.

People tell me that Elle speaks like a 4 year old. She is a chatterbox when she wants to be and uses a lot of words that I am told most 2 year olds don't say, like "absurd." One of her favorite books is The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly and one of the lines is "How absurd she swallowed a bird!" That is one of Elle's favorite parts of the story. It doesn't help that she says it very dramatically - "you ate a nasty brussel sprout, that is just ABSURD!" and she'll twist her littleface up. It is pretty funny. She also has an old dinosaur book of Ky's and she thinks that the pictures are scary and it is just ABSURD how scary they are. She is very amusing to me speaking about all the absurdities she sees. She also thinks things are "amazing" a lot, which I say about a lot of the plots to the comics that Ky writes and she is also dramatic about how amazing things are, like new playground equipment or bright red nail polish on her toenails.

Erin

[demigraf]

I did that, too, and actually deleted a bunch of APA people, except for the mods, because I need another way to stay in touch with them. I hardly ever use FB, though, so it seemed kind of important to keep it restricted to people who know me well enough to know that I don't use it.


I deleted a bunch of people, but not necessarily just people I didn't know IRL. Mainly former co-workers and old grade-schoolers that didn't really add much to the whole FB experience. I have to say, I sometimes get better "content" from non-IRL friends than I do from people I have actually met. For one thing, I'm glad I got a hold of former APA-er AllyPC just after she stopped posting here on APA. She's very interesting and we've had some of the funniest exchanges since then.

My FB friends list is a patchwork of people I know from various episodes in my life. It's pretty neat to have them all corraled in one place (with the exception of my stuffy in-laws. I wish more of them would un-friend me the way my BIL did.)

[missychrissy]

I confess I'm having a honeymoon period with my new neighborhood. Today was the first morning I woke up in the new house. My commute was beautiful. Everything from the community surf movie benefit (http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_17396219?nclick_check=1) this Friday, to the miles of hiking trails behind the "Orchid Center" at the bottom of the hill, to the BBQ joint and coffeehouses in old railcars also at the bottom of the hill, to the "Firefighter Storytime" at the library today including tours of a real fire truck (I called DH and told him about it and he's excited to take Bodhi in an hour) is making me silly happy at the moment. Even the fact that lots of high-school kids seem to come up to the top of the canyon where we live to drink and party and leave bottles in our yard isn't getting me down at the moment.
It must be the honeymoon period if the kids partying hasn't annoyed you yet!

Ugh about the pamphlet. I hate those things...Initially I thought it was going to be some good Atheist humor. If I got one irl, I'd feel it was a bait and switch.

[Bridget]

We read so much and listen to so many audio books and Savana and Kai do not let one thing go by that don't ask what it means. They use such grown up language it's hilarious. Like, Kai will say he is "dashing" instead of running. He'll say "I turned on my heels and walked away."

And I just want to clarify, Kate, that I didn't mean not speak to Josh about death at all. And you've already said that you have been open with him about it. I just wanted to suggest that you don't have to analyze everything and that doesn't mean he's like a morbid kid or something.

[AbbeysMom]

I confess I'm having a honeymoon period with my new neighborhood. Today was the first morning I woke up in the new house. My commute was beautiful. Everything from the community surf movie benefit (http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_17396219?nclick_check=1) this Friday, to the miles of hiking trails behind the "Orchid Center" at the bottom of the hill, to the BBQ joint and coffeehouses in old railcars also at the bottom of the hill, to the "Firefighter Storytime" at the library today including tours of a real fire truck (I called DH and told him about it and he's excited to take Bodhi in an hour) is making me silly happy at the moment. Even the fact that lots of high-school kids seem to come up to the top of the canyon where we live to drink and party and leave bottles in our yard isn't getting me down at the moment.

:wub: Glad the new neighborhood is treating you well so far.


I agree kids use language that they hear. I remember people being shocked at Ky using the word "sly" when he was around 3 years old. I never thought anything of it.

People tell me that Elle speaks like a 4 year old. She is a chatterbox when she wants to be and uses a lot of words that I am told most 2 year olds don't say, like "absurd." One of her favorite books is The Old Lady Who Swallowed a Fly and one of the lines is "How absurd she swallowed a bird!" That is one of Elle's favorite parts of the story. It doesn't help that she says it very dramatically - "you ate a nasty brussel sprout, that is just ABSURD!" and she'll twist her littleface up. It is pretty funny. She also has an old dinosaur book of Ky's and she thinks that the pictures are scary and it is just ABSURD how scary they are. She is very amusing to me speaking about all the absurdities she sees. She also thinks things are "amazing" a lot, which I say about a lot of the plots to the comics that Ky writes and she is also dramatic about how amazing things are, like new playground equipment or bright red nail polish on her toenails.

Erin

That's pretty cute. :) Abbey uses a lot of slang, like she'll say "nope", "yup", and "Hey! How ya doing?" :shame: She also tends to call me and her toddler friends "baby" and "sweetheart" because I call her and her dad those things... so yes, my little girl will walk up to a toddler friend and say "Hey baby, how ya doing?". :laugh:

[daylilies]

I was laughing at the irony of the pamphlet cover, but yeah...the inside doesn't make sense. Good hook, though.
I'm still in a honeymoon period with my neighborhood, except for the small yapping dogs across the street, and the sort of pain that it is to get to Josh's school, but it's a very sprawling town so I can't really complain. I think it's the second largest town in the state, actually.
I just had a very nice time at Josh's friend's house. She's the first generation to move out of China, and she made some lovely green tea from leaves (so much better than the stuff I get in bags!)
She made a frozen pizza because she said she doesn't know how to cook American food! I wish she had cooked some authentic Chinese food and I told her she should sometime. I think she was afraid I wouldn't like it.
Josh and her son Peter really get along, and it's cute.

[missychrissy]

:wub: That's great Kate!

[daylilies]

And I just want to clarify, Kate, that I didn't mean not speak to Josh about death at all. And you've already said that you have been open with him about it. I just wanted to suggest that you don't have to analyze everything and that doesn't mean he's like a morbid kid or something.

Oh, I know. I guess it seems magnified to me because I'm somewhat fascinated with death and the supernatural myself, so I guess it seems like more of a big deal to me when someone who doesn't think about those things as much probably wouldn't even notice. Yeah, I'm a little morbid myself, I guess. I belong to an online community that discusses the afterlife, and paranormal and supernatural stuff. So why am I surprised that Josh is interested in it too? I guess I still see him as so little and that he shouldn't know about this stuff yet. They grow up so fast.

[demigraf]

That's pretty cute. :) Abbey uses a lot of slang, like she'll say "nope", "yup", and "Hey! How ya doing?" :shame: She also tends to call me and her toddler friends "baby" and "sweetheart" because I call her and her dad those things... so yes, my little girl will walk up to a toddler friend and say "Hey baby, how ya doing?". :laugh:

OMG. :kiss: Abbey,I'm dying at your cuteness.

Hey, moms with canine furbabies: We're crate-training the schnoodle again because the new place has carpets and she already christened the living room with her urine her first time in the house (luckily, the carpet's been shampooed since then).

Has anyone had luck breaking their doggy of carpet-peeing in the past and possibly have any other suggestions? She hasn't peed in the house in 5 years prior to this.

[Cosmosmom]

Any chance she might have a UTI or a seizure? Those can cause accidents. Were you around she marked the house?
otherwise I would chalk it up to moving. Get some of that stuff from the petstore that cleans up after them to get rid of the smell of urine or she will keep marking the same spots. Go back to crating when not home and when home, try to keep her by you so you can catch her in the act.

With the poodle in her, I would guess that she is pretty smart (my girl is part poodle too. :) ) And probably just adjusting with the moving and not understanding things....it's hard on them to move and see everything all packed up and not knowing what is going on. When we moved we brought Cosmo to the new house a few times so she could see it and made sure to get her stuff right away. She didn't have an accident but we also didn't have another animal in the house since we built it....and she has a litter box so basically can go whenever she wants (she mostly pees outside now...maybe once a day in the box....but almost always poos in the box).

[Bridget]

I'm having so much guilt about my shortcomings as a parent these days. I feel like all I do is hand out directives and "just a minutes" and "ask daddy" as I sit on the couch nursing Sawyer.
I haven't shared with anyone how crazy Savana has gotten. I think it's better now because I've really been working with her but last weekend we both lost our minds. I can't even remember what set it off but I asked her to go in her room for five minutes to cool off and all hell broke loose. I have never seen her this way. She was screaming that she hated her life, hated her room, hated every toy we ever bought her, hated her house. I just kept telling her I wouldn't listen to her until she calmed down but it went on for a good ten minutes before she started kicking her door and slamming her toys around. So then I told her if she couldn't treat her things properly she wasn't going to have nice things anymore. She didn't stop so I loaded her entire toy stock into garbage bags and brought them to the garage. At which point she started telling me she was sorry and she loved me. This disturbed me. Because that's exactly what dbf does when he screws up. He thinks a schmucky apology and an "I love you" will fix everything. I asked her why she felt sorry and she said because she wanted her toys back. Well, of course. So I started feeling like I handled it all wrong but I couldn't just give everything back after that outrageous behavior. I just didn't know what to do next.
So all week she's had a bowl of buttons and a jelly jar. Every time she makes a good choice, walks away from an angry situation, follows directions without arguing, uses grace when refusing foods..etc, she earns a button. The buttons earn back her toys. It's been going well and she's been working hard to earn them back. At first I thought what's the difference? She's only making good choices to get her toys back. But after the first day she doesn't even mention getting toys back. She only want to earn her buttons. And every night we talk about how good it feels to be kind.
The truth is she's been by my side through all the **** I've gone through with dbf. She's seen me slam doors and cry and scream. Not often but she's seen it. So I basically feel like I really suck and didn't give my little girl a very good example of how to handle anger and frustration. I just hope I can help her now and it's not too late.
SORRY this is so long. Sheesh.

[3andMe]

Ah, Bridget, I don't even know where to start except that eventually all of this upheaval will start to even out and things will get better.

And I'll pick the tiny piece that I think I can speak to - about you wondering if Savana's apology is modeling on dbf's behavior. And maybe it is, maybe it isn't, but I can tell you that Claire does the exact same thing and she has never seen dh ever say I'm sorry or say I love you to me (wow, that almost sounds worse, doesn't it?). When I'm upset with either of the twins, almost invariably Ronin doesn't act contrite but just abruptly changes the subject and says "I want to kiss you, Mommy" and Claire will sometimes cry, sometimes not, and say how terrible she feels and how sorry she is and how much she loves me and sometimes adds how much she wishes she hadn't done what she did. This is all completely their own instinctive response. Dh and I don't have many disagreements, and when we do they are not obvious (sometimes not even to me!) and not usually in front of the children.

It takes a lifetime to learn how to deal with anger and frustration, and sometimes people never master it. Don't worry that your little girl is throwing temper tantrums.

-----------

Yikes. Soren almost erased everything I wrote and I just panicked that I'd have to start over, and I have to go pick up the twins. I have more that I was thinking about writing, but I think I better just post this for safety's sake.

Don't beat yourself up, Bridget. You have enough to deal with now. You're in survival mode still. You should give yourself a button for every day you make it through with everyone alive and unhurt, and then another button for every day that everyone is fed and warm. THEN you can start worrying about education and character development. Again, not to say those aren't important, but with a newborn in the house and everything all shaken up and everyone's roles changing, the most important thing is to make it through the day right now. You are doing great.

[Bridget]

Ah, Lydia. Your post is making me cry! Thank you for saying all of that. It really makes me feel better, even though I just said I'm crying.
And your new siggy is beautiful.

[daylilies]

I love your new sig too Lydia! And I agree with Lydia, you're doing fine. I'm a total spaz with just one kid and I think anyone who has more than one is a superhero.

[missychrissy]

Has anyone had luck breaking their doggy of carpet-peeing in the past and possibly have any other suggestions? She hasn't peed in the house in 5 years prior to this.
My Missy (maltese poodle mix) suddenly started having accidents in the house and we had to start shutting her in our bedroom during the day and whenever we leave. As soon as we get up or home, she goes directly outside. That's all that we needed to do for her, but I was totally prepared to utilize the dog crate if that didn't work. imo, you can't go wrong with crate training and I don't think any dog is too old, however some may have other issues like anxiety...in that case, I honestly don't know what I'd do because the crate is everything I know about potty training a dog!

Bridget, I agree with everything Lydia said. You're a wonderful mom and person, and your children will emulate that. Savannah is still learning and developing, so she's going to have meltdowns and bad days. Heck, we all do. I'm sure this is a phase and I'm confident you'll work through it together. I would say that taking toys away is a good consequence, and earning them back is the right thing to do. We have to use what tools we can in order to teach consequences for their actions and behaviors.

I had a message on my home machine when I got home. My former employer, United Health Services, would like me to come in for an interview. :indifferent: Not sure how I feel about that, but I'm going to do the interview.

[3andMe]

I told Claire I wanted to take some pictures of her with fruit so I could write about her meltdown last night. So she posed with some fruit (more pictures on my blog, and with her first ponytails ever) and then she ate it. I guess it was a short-lived issue. Either that or I explained it to her satisfaction.

[Gwenn]

So many things I want to respond to and I'm certain I'll forget most of them.

Bridget, I agree with Lydia. I think your method of handling it is perfect and already you can see the progress. And I suspect that her initial response was her acting like a child - DBF reacts that way because he also has a tendency to act like a child. Savana IS a child so it's nothing to worry about. The way you are handling it, she won't make that a lifelong pattern.

Myles, we don't have carpet in my current house and had very little in the last one so I mostly shut the door in that room. We did go through a very similar issue with my childhood puppy - his breeder had no carpet at all because they bought the house knowing they would be raising puppies there. He came to us already housebroken at 12 weeks or so, but when he saw the carpet at our house he thought it was grass so it was back to the drawing board. He didn't take long to train but he was a puppy at the time. I suspect just starting over with the crate training will take care of the issue - once furbaby learns that isn't the place to go it will be fine.

Lydia, I'm actually more impressed by "perhaps" than I am by "mass spectrometer" :laugh: I can't help it, it's the SLP in me. Nouns don't impress me much. (cue Shania Twain - I have no idea why that song just came into my head but it did).

Erin, that is SO cute about Elle!

Kate, I think Josh is still trying to process about your kitty and it's just working its way through his brain right now. It's totally normal.

I confess I feel like I'm corrupting this poor girl at work. She's a young mom and moved here from Mexico. She learned English in college and has never been in an English speaking environment before three months ago when she got a job as a teacher's aide. Now she wants to be an SLP and I'm trying to encourage her to do it - being fluent in Spanish there's a huge need for her. Anyway, a few of us at work watch American Idol regularly and talk about it in the mornings, but she can't watch it because she doesn't have cable and her antenna won't pick up FOX. So we told her she should get a converter box so she could get more than one channel, and she did some research but there's one already built into her TV so she's stuck. She told me this morning that last weekend there was a biography on Simon Cowell on her one channel and she could only see parts of it because her kids were loud and she was trying to cook but she was really frustrated because she really wanted to know more about American Idol! She is the sweetest thing and I feel like I'm trying to convince the new girl to jump off a bridge or something! :laugh:

[missychrissy]

Bobbie was sensitive to the idea of eating animals nearly all her life and she was never a fan of her dad's hunting. To my knowledge, she's never gone hunting with him like her siblings have. She became a full fledged vegetarian about 2 years ago. I wasn't totally surprised.

[missychrissy]

Kate-did you like any of the girls tonight? Some were good, but none really stood out to me like the guys did last night.

Talking about AI, by the way. :P Just wanna clarify for those that might not know we're watching it.

[daylilies]

Actually I DVR AI and watch it while Josh is at school. I'll let you know! I might watch it tomorrow. I just watched the guys today. I like it better than last year, I'll tell you that.

[Gwenn]

I'm watching it right now, not over yet. But I agree - the guys were way better last night than the girls have been so far.

[Gwenn]

Actually I'm pretty impressed by Thia. Didn't love her song choice, but she blew me away, especially at the beginning.

[missychrissy]

I like it better than last year, I'll tell you that.

Agreed.

[girlwonder]

For one thing, I'm glad I got a hold of former APA-er AllyPC just after she stopped posting here on APA. She's very interesting and we've had some of the funniest exchanges since then.


I was sorry that she decided to leave - she was very level-headed and intelligent.

[missychrissy]

I was sorry that she decided to leave - she was very level-headed and intelligent.
Maybe that's why she left...:P It's just us fools now. ;) lol

[girlwonder]

Of course you are right! :laugh:

[Gwenn]

Maybe that's why she left...:P It's just us fools now. ;) lol

LOL!


Actually I'm pretty impressed by Thia. Didn't love her song choice, but she blew me away, especially at the beginning.

I liked Pia, too. Thia and Pia. Yikes. But neither of them were as good as the best guys.

[The10Eels]

Does this mean you're coming up? I hate to be happy when you used a sad face, but.... WEEEEE!!!!


Oh no! Is there anything you can do?

Well they went to calendar call today and the trial was postponed again... so as of now, I may be coming up in July.....

I am planning a trip, paid by me as you can see in my siggy, in August so that I have a for sure date.

[Ky'sMom]

I have never watched a complete episode of AI. I just see it as a huge popularity contest and I was never big into being or applauding the most popular in a crowd. I will admit though that I have liked quite a few of the winners of AI after they were off of the show and I saw Fantasia in the Color Purple musical and she can really sing!

Bridgett, I also wanted to agree to everything Lydia and other ladies said. I think you are doing great with all your kids right now and it is going to take some time to get into a new rhythm. When Elle was born, it was very rough on him, as well as me as DH and I were having a lot of issues and I felt like Ky's life was thrown way upside down and I had to depend on him to do a lot of the things that DH should have been doing to help me around the house and I felt horribly guilty about it. Ky also told me after she was born and during her first 3 months that I was nursing her constantly that he "knew" that I loved her more than him, which made me burst into tears. It was very heartbreaking and I did my best to try to assure him that was not the case. He wasn't even frustrated or angry or anything when he said it. He was just sitting in my room with me and we were having a conversations and he told me that he just knew I loved the baby more than him. When I asked why he thought this, he said it was because I spent more time with her and hugged her more and held her more. It was very devastating to hear that I can't remember exactly what I said to him but around that time I started spending a lot more one on one time with him, taking him to the park or over my aunt's house and leaving Elle with DH while we were gone a few hours.

It is so tough with a newborn for us adults to adjust, I can only imagine how hard it is for a young child who doesn't know anything different and then all the sudden....wham...everything is different now. I'm sure once you all fall into a good routine she will be fine, but I so understand how difficult it is.

Erin

[missychrissy]

Aw Erin. My heart broke for both of you reading that.

[Gwenn]

Aw Erin. My heart broke for both of you reading that.

Mine, too. You're an awesome mom, Erin.

[AmeriBrit]

Wow, a lot to catch up on!

Most of the people I have on FB are not the traditional "friends" in that a lot are my internet friends and a lot of people from work who I don't really even associate with much. I never feel like I can say no to people from work when they send a friend request...office politics and all that.

Travis has a pretty good vocabulary for an almost 3 year old, too. He keeps up conversations with his cousin who is 8 months older than he is. People laugh at some of the stuff he says. At the minute, he's fascinated with the street lights on our street; we watch them come every night, so we know the order they come on. He watches them and tells me all about how "gorgeous" they are.

Bridget, I agree with everyone else. I can't add anything more to what's been said, but just know that you are a good momma and that kids just have these times.

[AmeriBrit]

Oh, and is it bad that I'm teaching Travis the proper way to fall? He's so very clumsy (as am I!) so he's always falling on his face and bruising/scratching his face up, so I'm trying to teach him the snowboard fall of falling on your forearms if he has to fall at all. I've started taking him to a gymnastics class to try to help him with his coordination and even in that class, he falls over a lot.

[missychrissy]

Awww...that's cute. Does he like gymnastics? I went from 8-14 and I loved it. I wish I didn't quit. I still like to do handstands and cartwheels. :P

[daylilies]

I think if you're going to fall, it's best to fall right! LOL
On warmer days Josh rides his bike up and down the street and I let him fall (unless it looks like it's going to be bad, which it never does). I would rather him get used to it now than never fall and all of a sudden be traumatized by a bad spill on a two wheeler.
He's already better on his trike than he was in the summer. We live on a slight hill and he couldn't pedal up it last year and now he can.

[AmeriBrit]

He loves it. He's so bendy. He amazes people with his moves. I keep saying that he'll either be a gymnast or a stunt man.

[Bridget]

I like the idea of teaching the proper way to fall!
Savana is easily the klutziest (sp?) child I have ever known. She falls at least 6 times a day. She runs everywhere she goes and will trip over anything, run into doors and walls, or just wipe out, even fall off the couch and chairs. She has poor depth perception. I always think if I ever took her to the dr they would probably think I abuse her because she is covered in bruises. Funny thing is, she always jumps up and shakes it off even though I know some of those have to hurt. I ask her all the time to please walk and it's gotten to the point where she's laid out on the floor after a wipe out saying, "Sorry, Mom! I'll walk."

[daylilies]

Josh falls down a lot too, come to think of it. He likes to spin in a circle if he's talking or thinking, and suddenly WHOMP, his feet go out from under him.

[Cosmosmom]

That is funny...my MIL and I were both thinking that the girls were better than the guys. I could easily have picked half to go home this week but the girls there were only 2-3 that I thought should go home. I wish that they weren't cutting them down to the final 10 so quickly....I would have liked to have seen a few more songs out of some of them.

Big time klutz here. Come to find out when I went in for a heel spur and had foot xrays done, the bones in my feet are crooked! Soon as she saw that, she was like, so I bet you trip pretty easily. And I have flat feet which I never knew. Nothing like being 32 years and finding out that there is a good reason I'm klutzy and trip easily.

[daylilies]

Here we go! I'm watching the girls on AI now. I might not have time for the whole thing before I get Josh (at least I can FF through the commercials)
Some of the girls look awkward just during the introductions...

[AmeriBrit]

I catch a glimpse of AI every now and then; I'll have to see if I can catch up on it.

I wonder if being clumsy is genetic because I'm always walking in to doors and knocking my hands against chairs and stuff when I walk by them and even at the office, if I walk by someone's desk sometimes, I brush past it.

[daylilies]

I'm very clumsy but I always attribute it to having spina bifida-- having a curved spine and slightly weak legs.

[missychrissy]

I'd say Jesi is my klutz. She's the only one (thus far) that has fractured anything. When she was about 8 we rushed down to her room because she was screaming. She was dangling by her leg from the ladder to her bunk bed. I'm sorry, even now I feel compelled to laugh even though her thigh had a mega bruise on it. It was just hysterical to see. Poor kid.

Another time she tipped our dishwasher over on top of herself. That one seriously could have killed her and I haven't the foggiest idea how she accomplished that. I heard a tremendous crash and went running to the kitchen and saw the dishwasher on it's face with her legs coming out the top of the door. Now looking back, that one is funny too...but only because she wasn't seriously hurt.

[daylilies]

Yeah...it's sad but it's kind of funny when they are klutzy. I've laughed before when he's fallen and other people are like "OMG is he okay?" because I know he's okay. But I'm sure I look callous when I'm just chuckling at him LOL

This girl Karen on AI...I just had a moment because she was going on about being a Latina artist and then she picked Hero? And I was like "She should mix some Spanish into this" and then she did! Good girl!

[3andMe]

Claire tends to get a lot of bruises, but I think she's pretty graceful. She just tends to be super-fast and very reckless, so she falls occasionally while jumping and spinning off the couch or running around with her eyes closed (she ran into a street pole the other day that way). Ronin is not as graceful, and is more careful, and falls about the same amount.

[Bridget]

It's hard for me not to laugh when Savana falls because she's all legs and arms everywhere and she's very Chris Farley-ish when she jumps up saying, "I'm okay!"

[daylilies]

Okay, if these contestants have watched any AI at all they know they're looking for originality. "Make it your own" is like the show's slogan. Why are people still singing these flat imitations of the originals?

[Cosmosmom]

OMG I'm so irritated with our governor weasal. Part of his bill/budget now is also to stop requiring insurance companies to pay for birth control pills. Never mind that many women use them for medical conditions.
So let's see, take away 900 million for education, take away money from medicaid....and now let's stop requiring insurance companies to cover birth control so women end up with more children than they can afford or want.

I don't think that I have ever hated a politician so much. Sucks that we have to have him in office a year before we can recall him. Already have my name on the list to be contacted for recall though....and pretty much everyone I know would sign it too.

[missychrissy]

But Jennifer, it's simple. Don't have sex! :eyeroll:

Seriously, I wonder what planet these people live on. I'm bent at him too. How the heck did he ever get elected?

[daylilies]

Okay so, I watched AI and basically I feel like a lot of the girls were good, but most were too theatrical or jazzy to be an AI winner. Karen, the girl who did Hero, was very good. She took the song and 'made it her own' by mixing in some Spanish.
The other half of the girls who were not too theatrical were boring! You can't just take a good song and sing it just like the original on AI. And I like country music, but I don't feel like it belongs on AI. Scotty "Baby lock them doors" McCreery is good but I think he would do fine making it in the country business without going on AI first.

[missychrissy]

I think we're on the same page with the girls Kate. Most might have awesome voices, but their song choices resulted in me having my mind wander.

I'll be shocked if Scotty McDreamy doesn't end up with a country record label. I'm sure he has to follow through at this point with AI because of contractual obligations, but I can't see how Nashville will fail to notice him.

[daylilies]

LOL
Did he dye his hair or something? I thought his hair was more red in the auditions. Something about country guys turns me on and turns me off at the same time. I don't like to be stereotypical but I can't help but feel like under the sexiness they're ultra conservative :(

[Cosmosmom]

But Jennifer, it's simple. Don't have sex! :eyeroll:

Seriously, I wonder what planet these people live on. I'm bent at him too. How the heck did he ever get elected?
He couldn't even freaking graduate college and dropped out. Sorry but I'm not a genius or even close....and college is NOT that hard. And he basically sucked at being county exec in Milwaukee. I have no idea how he got elected. I could see say Mr Menard voting for him...billionaire and big business owner. But there aren't that many billionaires in WI. he doesn't have the average working poor or working middle class interests in mind at all....and yet a bunch of them still voted for him anyway. Uggg.

I hate when men try to make decisions about women's health. Birth control pills are used for more than just preventing pregnancy.

[Cosmosmom]

My MIL and I differ on AI. She will say someone is so talented and good, they should go ahead. I look and think....is this someone I would actually buy music from. Like the guy that did the song, house is not a home without a chair or whatever it is....he's got a good voice but I wouldn't buy his songs. I could see buying the guy that did rod stewart (love the scratchy voice), maybe the rocker guy and maybe the guy at the end with the beard (who by the way looks a lot like a young version of my dad except my dad was taller and a bit bigger and had more reddish hair).
For the girls, I'm not totally sure that I would buy any of their albums at this point.

[missychrissy]

LOL
Did he dye his hair or something? I thought his hair was more red in the auditions. Something about country guys turns me on and turns me off at the same time. I don't like to be stereotypical but I can't help but feel like under the sexiness they're ultra conservative :(

I get what you're saying. Toby Keith is such a loudmouth that even though I have a tendency to like his songs, I cannot stand him because of his conservative ways. For the most part though, in my dreamy imagination none of the 'good ol boys' of country are conservative. Just sexy! lol


I hate when men try to make decisions about women's health. Birth control pills are used for more than just preventing pregnancy.

Yeah, I think birth control should be covered even FOR preventing pregnancy. The idea that only people that can afford their own contraception is just...ignorant.


I could see buying the guy that did rod stewart (love the scratchy voice)...
I thought he was weird! I didn't like him at all, but I can't say if it was his voice, looks, or how he moved around the stage. I love Rod Stewart, and I could hear that kinda thing in him, but it wasn't enough to overcome everything else that turned me off about him.

[Cosmosmom]

I still wish that we had more than really one chance on the big stage with an audience before half of them get chopped. I didn't pay that much attention to the early rounds so not do not know many of them.

If I find out someone is conservative....loses all sex appeal to me. Except Alex P. Keaton on family ties. LOL Though I think that he was more just a fiscal conservative...I could take that better than a social one I think.
Country boys...doesn't do it for me. I like a nerd. I like a man who is smart. Dh doesn't really believe me but the fact that he was in the chess club in school and liked to actually program his graphing calculator for fun.....OMG what a turn on. LOL I need a man that likes to read, is logical (at least my kind of logical LOL), and can carry on a deep philosophical conversation.

[missychrissy]

I would argue that my own personal 'country boy' can do all those things (except play chess) and is a guy-guy. That's my affectionate phrase for him, "guy-guy" I like a strong man that's physically capable of building a house by himself, with just a hammer and nails if need be. I dunno why...probably because my father and both grandfathers were like that. But just because they wear jeans and flannel shirts, it certainly doesn't mean they're not philosophical or intelligent. Or even conservative for that matter. I know my father isn't.

Maybe it's the country chic in me, but I love going for hair raising rides on snowmobiles and 4-wheelers. I love horses and barns and cows. All those things represent 'sexy' to me on a very basic, instinctive level.

[demigraf]

Grrrr. I just lost a few paragraphs when I hit the extra "Back" button on my keyboard.

I was just trying to thank chrissy, Jennifer & gwenn for their comments on crate-training. I think Lulu (the schnoodle) will be in her crate awhile. I think the schnauzer (terrier) in her gives her a stubborn streak. DH & I always wonder whether her stubborness is a sign of above-average intelligence or the exact opposite. When we first rescued her, she was a pneumonia baby, and was completely housebroken when she arrived at the house. She even asked to be let outside to cough up some stuff from her lungs on her first day. We were convinced she was a genius. She started showing off her mischievous, disobedient streak after we adopted the bigger dog. I'm afraid she's maybe one of those dogs that would be happier in a 1-dog household. She's definitely the alpha, though. She goes through doors before the other dog, has to be ahead of him on leash walks, and whenever there's food, she gets first pick. DH tried to discipline the dominance out of her, but I had to explain to him that it's better to let them set the pack order. He's a full-on Dog Whisperer convert at this point. I think he knows more about Cesar Milan's way than I do.

Bridget, mostly I just sit back and learn from obviously thoughtful and skilled moms like you, so I don't have much to add to Lydia's spot-on advice. But I will say that the fact that you're questioning yourself shows that you're already more conscientious than 75% of the moms out there. Even before I read that you were having Savana "earn" her toys back, I was telling myself that's what I would do. I also agree that her tantrum was probably more typical child behavior than something she learned from watching you. I think it's important that children not just see conflict, but also watch and learn constructive ways to resolve it. So you're right on the mark there.

Today I am very frustrated at the office. And I shouldn't be. By this time, I should be used to frequent miscommunications and just how hard it is to talk in English about stuff that's way more easily stated in code. I think I've made the - perhaps dangerous - decision to stop asking some of my teammates for their opinions on things. Some of their feedback is helpful, but it also often produces more suggestions from them that cloud the discussions. I really shouldn't be phased by this sort of thing anymore, but the truth is, maybe I'm upset because I'm letting them make me question my own abilities. I don't know, sometimes I feel like everyone is comfortable enough with the facts that they can talk about things imprecisely and everyone in the room still "gets it". It's just quite annoying when people know that it's an important distinction to specifically say "XYZ is coming from System 3" and they use language like "they are sending the info to us". It just opens the door to more questios than there were before. Either everyone is nodding their heads when they don't get it, but don't bother to demand more clarity, or I'm the only one in the room that doesn't get it.

Um, I think that was just a rant. Sorry about that... and the fact that my post was really long again. I feel better anyway.

[Ky'sMom]

I think my DH is country too, even though he is from Chicago. He loves all things outdoors and building things when he is in the mood for it and lots of typical male things. I call him my "manly man" which he doesn't like LOL. Oddly enough, I don't like too many outdoorsy things and have thought that camping is akin to voluntary homelessness. We are planning a trip to Tallulah Falls this summer and only because they have 2 bedroom cabins equipped with TV, air conditioning, and a full kitchen for $125 a night, otherwise, I'd let DH, Ky and my nephew (who's visiting us this summer) go by themselves. DH is the manly man, and Ky is a boy's boy and Elle is my girly girl (and doesn't like outside much either, though she is not afraid of bugs or anything like that she just doesn't like them, like me, and will tell you she doesn't like it is the most important thing that you need to know at the moment, the other day she told me while watching a nature show about spiders "mommy, you know, I don't like spiders" and she was VERY serious). So I admire the manliness of DH and the boyish nature of Ky but I am not into a lot of what they are into and really I don't consider myself all that girlish in a traditional sense.

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

Today I am very frustrated at the office. And I shouldn't be. By this time, I should be used to frequent miscommunications and just how hard it is to talk in English about stuff that's way more easily stated in code. I think I've made the - perhaps dangerous - decision to stop asking some of my teammates for their opinions on things. Some of their feedback is helpful, but it also often produces more suggestions from them that cloud the discussions. I really shouldn't be phased by this sort of thing anymore, but the truth is, maybe I'm upset because I'm letting them make me question my own abilities. I don't know, sometimes I feel like everyone is comfortable enough with the facts that they can talk about things imprecisely and everyone in the room still "gets it". It's just quite annoying when people know that it's an important distinction to specifically say "XYZ is coming from System 3" and they use language like "they are sending the info to us". It just opens the door to more questios than there were before. Either everyone is nodding their heads when they don't get it, but don't bother to demand more clarity, or I'm the only one in the room that doesn't get it.

Um, I think that was just a rant. Sorry about that... and the fact that my post was really long again. I feel better anyway.

I understand. Somtimes a lot of suggestions seem to take us away from directly accomplishing what needs to be done, if that's what you're saying. I have been getting more involved in PTSA since Ky's school if focused on having us become more like family than just a professional parent/educator distant sort of relationship, which is good, but honestly the people in PTSA are always suggesting multiple thing to do about everything we are suppose to be discussing and I just want to scream at them. It is very frustrating. I can't imaging having to deal with this sort of thing at work.

I love my job, we only have 7 people in our office and usually only 3 of us are here at all plus we all have different things to work on so no one in this office (we do have to get feedback from the property managers who work for us though) has the opportunity to interject their suggestions. I'm the only one who works in all areas since I am the support person for everyone, but they all just ask me and I tell them what I think and they either take my suggestion or not.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

I would argue that my own personal 'country boy' can do all those things (except play chess) and is a guy-guy. That's my affectionate phrase for him, "guy-guy" I like a strong man that's physically capable of building a house by himself, with just a hammer and nails if need be. I dunno why...probably because my father and both grandfathers were like that. But just because they wear jeans and flannel shirts, it certainly doesn't mean they're not philosophical or intelligent. Or even conservative for that matter. I know my father isn't.

Maybe it's the country chic in me, but I love going for hair raising rides on snowmobiles and 4-wheelers. I love horses and barns and cows. All those things represent 'sexy' to me on a very basic, instinctive level.

I think that a lot of times, girls tend to be attracted to men that in ways remind them of dad (or another important man to them growing up). I don't mind jeans and flannels...mostly what mine lives in and what I grew up in my dad. I do find a man in a suit pretty hot. I just didn't grow up in the country and when I picture that, what comes into my head is conservative bible belt. And I don't like country music. I grew up with rock and some pop. I was kind of looking for someone a lot like my daddy except much more of a bookworm/intellectual. My dad didn't fish or hunt or even watch sports....he liked music (now Dad thinks he's a little monster) and liked tech toys. I'm 32 and have a VCR my whole life, CD's and DVD's when they were really new, dad had an atari when I was very little and a video camera (my life is on film), and a computer since I was in grade school (OMG was that computer expensive and so primitive to what we have now). Dad got an iPod and cell phone before most people had them....I'm just shocked he hasn't talked mom into an iPad yet.
I have never been an ATV or snowmobile. Dh has but that was before we met. We would be much more likely to go to a museum or see a musical. I have been on a horse before but have never been up close to a cow....and I live in the dairy state!
As far as fixing stuff....one reason we built a house was to avoid having to fix stuff up right away. OMG it was such a procedure with the two of us just to change the oil in our new snow blower....took over an hour and that was with instruction books. Getting the pilot light going in the fireplace was like a 30 minute ordeal.
I would never call him a guy guy. :laugh: He likes football and baseball....but yeah when we moved here and all his coworkers were talking about hunting and where he hunted....his response was the grocery store.

I was really snobby when I was looking for dates 13 years ago. I wouldn't have gone out with a guy who wasn't in college or hadn't graduated from college...not a tech school either but had to be a traditional bachelors. I would not go with a republican at all and I wouldn't have dated a religious guy. Oh and I couldn't have dated someone military or a hunter since I cannot stand guns. My other biggie was he couldn't be homophobic. It's amazing I ever got married! :eyeroll:
I really had pictured myself back than eventually married to a professor. And he did consider that but didn't really enjoy being a teaching assistant much. And I'm good with him working in manufacturing now...he doesn't use his degrees but I still like knowing he has them. And that I could say (and have), let's both read Plato's Republic or some Neitzsche and talk about it....and we both find it fun.

It would be handy though to have someone who knew how to fix things or didn't complain the whole time when we have yet another piece of furniture to put together!

[Cosmosmom]

Oddly enough, I don't like too many outdoorsy things and have thought that camping is akin to voluntary homelessness.

That is a great comment! I have never been camping other than sleeping out in my backyard in the tent but my parents left the back door unlocked so we could use the bathroom and my dad even brought a small TV out to us. :laugh:

I don't like bugs either and I do not like being dirty. Going to try a veggie garden this summer but I think that I will probably wear gloves so I don't get dirt all over my hands.

[Gwenn]

Country boys...doesn't do it for me. I like a nerd. I like a man who is smart. Dh doesn't really believe me but the fact that he was in the chess club in school and liked to actually program his graphing calculator for fun.....OMG what a turn on. LOL I need a man that likes to read, is logical (at least my kind of logical LOL), and can carry on a deep philosophical conversation.

My DH is all of those things plus a conservative boy from Texas who joined the military straight out of high school! :P And he's deeply, deeply offended by the popular perception of country boys or southerners as stupid. DH's brother is a member of Mensa.


I would argue that my own personal 'country boy' can do all those things (except play chess) and is a guy-guy. That's my affectionate phrase for him, "guy-guy" I like a strong man that's physically capable of building a house by himself, with just a hammer and nails if need be. I dunno why...probably because my father and both grandfathers were like that. But just because they wear jeans and flannel shirts, it certainly doesn't mean they're not philosophical or intelligent. Or even conservative for that matter. I know my father isn't.

Maybe it's the country chic in me, but I love going for hair raising rides on snowmobiles and 4-wheelers. I love horses and barns and cows. All those things represent 'sexy' to me on a very basic, instinctive level.

:wub: Totally know what you mean. But I'm also attracted to the opposite - writers/musicians who wouldn't know what to do with themselves outdoors. Not sure what the common ground is.


I think my DH is country too, even though he is from Chicago. He loves all things outdoors and building things when he is in the mood for it and lots of typical male things. I call him my "manly man" which he doesn't like LOL. Oddly enough, I don't like too many outdoorsy things and have thought that camping is akin to voluntary homelessness. We are planning a trip to Tallulah Falls this summer and only because they have 2 bedroom cabins equipped with TV, air conditioning, and a full kitchen for $125 a night, otherwise, I'd let DH, Ky and my nephew (who's visiting us this summer) go by themselves. DH is the manly man, and Ky is a boy's boy and Elle is my girly girl (and doesn't like outside much either, though she is not afraid of bugs or anything like that she just doesn't like them, like me, and will tell you she doesn't like it is the most important thing that you need to know at the moment, the other day she told me while watching a nature show about spiders "mommy, you know, I don't like spiders" and she was VERY serious). So I admire the manliness of DH and the boyish nature of Ky but I am not into a lot of what they are into and really I don't consider myself all that girlish in a traditional sense.

Erin

I know what you mean. I enjoyed camping growing up, but I'm not crazy about spending time outdoors (I think moving to AZ killed my love of the great outdoors, actually) and I'm not overly girly.


I think that a lot of times, girls tend to be attracted to men that in ways remind them of dad (or another important man to them growing up). I don't mind jeans and flannels...mostly what mine lives in and what I grew up in my dad. I do find a man in a suit pretty hot. I just didn't grow up in the country and when I picture that, what comes into my head is conservative bible belt. And I don't like country music. I grew up with rock and some pop. I was kind of looking for someone a lot like my daddy except much more of a bookworm/intellectual. My dad didn't fish or hunt or even watch sports....he liked music (now Dad thinks he's a little monster) and liked tech toys. I'm 32 and have a VCR my whole life, CD's and DVD's when they were really new, dad had an atari when I was very little and a video camera (my life is on film), and a computer since I was in grade school (OMG was that computer expensive and so primitive to what we have now). Dad got an iPod and cell phone before most people had them....I'm just shocked he hasn't talked mom into an iPad yet.


I've heard that you look for someone either exactly like your dad or the totally opposite. I've always gone for the opposite. My dad is a physicist with few social skills. One of the smartest people I've ever met and very fun/funny when he wants to be but I grew up around too many physicists/engineers to find the type attractive. They're all completely single minded. My dad is very driven and has a hard time enjoying himself (example: he didn't buy a record player until after he finished graduate school, despite the fact that he likes music, married a musician, and worked as a DJ at the campus classical radio station). I couldn't be with someone like that.

We had a computer in 1983!

I didn't grow up listening to country music (actually didn't "get" it at all) but DH has taught me to love some of it.

[daylilies]

DH is nothing like my dad. In fact I often wish he were more like my dad (minus the cheating, of course)
I guess what they do have in common is that they're uncomfortable in social situations, but can talk pretty well with 1 to 5 other people.

[missychrissy]

Today I am very frustrated at the office. And I shouldn't be. By this time, I should be used to frequent miscommunications and just how hard it is to talk in English about stuff that's way more easily stated in code. I think I've made the - perhaps dangerous - decision to stop asking some of my teammates for their opinions on things. Some of their feedback is helpful, but it also often produces more suggestions from them that cloud the discussions. I really shouldn't be phased by this sort of thing anymore, but the truth is, maybe I'm upset because I'm letting them make me question my own abilities. I don't know, sometimes I feel like everyone is comfortable enough with the facts that they can talk about things imprecisely and everyone in the room still "gets it". It's just quite annoying when people know that it's an important distinction to specifically say "XYZ is coming from System 3" and they use language like "they are sending the info to us". It just opens the door to more questios than there were before. Either everyone is nodding their heads when they don't get it, but don't bother to demand more clarity, or I'm the only one in the room that doesn't get it.

Um, I think that was just a rant. Sorry about that... and the fact that my post was really long again. I feel better anyway.

I know exactly what you mean and can I just say thank you for posting that. I always chalked my own 'ignorance' up to the fact that most the IT guys here that blather on and on at the meetings have been here since the 80's (when I was a small child) and I only have a 2 year degree. They leave me far behind sometimes...but I've been able to fake it and flub along well enough that I don't think anyone really suspects how clueless I am sometimes.


Oddly enough, I don't like too many outdoorsy things and have thought that camping is akin to voluntary homelessness.

Erin

:lol: omg! I love camping.


I think that a lot of times, girls tend to be attracted to men that in ways remind them of dad (or another important man to them growing up). I don't mind jeans and flannels...mostly what mine lives in and what I grew up in my dad. I do find a man in a suit pretty hot. I just didn't grow up in the country and when I picture that, what comes into my head is conservative bible belt. And I don't like country music. I grew up with rock and some pop. I was kind of looking for someone a lot like my daddy except much more of a bookworm/intellectual. My dad didn't fish or hunt or even watch sports....he liked music (now Dad thinks he's a little monster) and liked tech toys. I'm 32 and have a VCR my whole life, CD's and DVD's when they were really new, dad had an atari when I was very little and a video camera (my life is on film), and a computer since I was in grade school (OMG was that computer expensive and so primitive to what we have now). Dad got an iPod and cell phone before most people had them....I'm just shocked he hasn't talked mom into an iPad yet.
I have never been an ATV or snowmobile. Dh has but that was before we met. We would be much more likely to go to a museum or see a musical. I have been on a horse before but have never been up close to a cow....and I live in the dairy state!
As far as fixing stuff....one reason we built a house was to avoid having to fix stuff up right away. OMG it was such a procedure with the two of us just to change the oil in our new snow blower....took over an hour and that was with instruction books. Getting the pilot light going in the fireplace was like a 30 minute ordeal.
I would never call him a guy guy. :laugh: He likes football and baseball....but yeah when we moved here and all his coworkers were talking about hunting and where he hunted....his response was the grocery store.

I was really snobby when I was looking for dates 13 years ago. I wouldn't have gone out with a guy who wasn't in college or hadn't graduated from college...not a tech school either but had to be a traditional bachelors. I would not go with a republican at all and I wouldn't have dated a religious guy. Oh and I couldn't have dated someone military or a hunter since I cannot stand guns. My other biggie was he couldn't be homophobic. It's amazing I ever got married! :eyeroll:
I really had pictured myself back than eventually married to a professor. And he did consider that but didn't really enjoy being a teaching assistant much. And I'm good with him working in manufacturing now...he doesn't use his degrees but I still like knowing he has them. And that I could say (and have), let's both read Plato's Republic or some Neitzsche and talk about it....and we both find it fun.

It would be handy though to have someone who knew how to fix things or didn't complain the whole time when we have yet another piece of furniture to put together!

My father is into music. He plays bass exceptionally well...everything from Lynyrd Skynyrd, to Charlie Daniels to Metallica. He's also pretty good at basic guitar and drums. He's very musical. He actually was paid pretty good to play in a band all throughout my childhood and had a 'gig' every Friday and Saturday night, as well as a benefit or jamboree to play each Sunday.

Not only that, but he taught himself programming and wrote the programs where he worked on the CNC machine. I absolutely get my geekiness from him. He brought me home an old computer that saved its code on a cassette tape. It was a Tartan or something like that. I think I was 8 when he first taught me if/then/goto commands.

I don't think my father has ever paid anyone to do anything for him-seriously. Carpentry, plumbing, electrical...he does it all. And he does it right too, none of that cob-job crap you see 'rednecks' homebuild. lol

And like I said, he's not conservative at all. I'm not sure why, but Dad was always open minded about accepting people for who they are. That's probably the biggest lesson I've ever learned from him.

He put me on a snowmobile when I was about 2 :P It was love from then on.

[missychrissy]

It was a Tandy computer. I remember figuring out how to save and retrieve the programs from the cassette tape all by myself. It was geeky-love from then on. :wub:

[daylilies]

I have no idea what you're talking about...LOL
The first thing I remember with a computer is some weird thing where you type in commands and the little triangle goes around and makes a shape...but I don't remember what the commands were or anything.

[missychrissy]

DH is nothing like my dad. In fact I often wish he were more like my dad (minus the cheating, of course)
I guess what they do have in common is that they're uncomfortable in social situations, but can talk pretty well with 1 to 5 other people.

My dh is a capable guy, like my dad, and not very social. That's about the end of their similarities though. Rich isn't geeky and although he likes music, he cannot play an instrument or dance to save his life. My dad can't dance well, but he will dance for fun when other bands are playing or someone else 'sets in' and plays his bass for a song or two.

Rich is more conservative than my father, but I wouldn't call him conservative seriously. He's probably more an independent if we really broke it down. So compared to me he's conservative! lol

I think my dad has more empathy for other people and their plight than Rich does, although Rich will help people out...even random strangers. I don't know how many times we've been driving around in bad weather and Rich will always stop and help if someone is stuck. My father helped many people financially through the years, where I don't think Rich would.

I'm watching AI...I won't give it away though. I'll hold my thoughts till I know y'all have had an opportunity to watch it.

[daylilies]

I was watching it, but I stopped around 9:20 because DH was done on the computer and we watched Kitchen Nightmares instead. I'll watch the rest while Josh is at school tomorrow.

Oh, one thing I do like about DH is that he's also handy. He fixes things around the house, made a door for Josh's closet, knows how all the utilities work (it really helps that he's a cable/phone/internet guy!) And he'll paint a room, not without complaining though :)

[missychrissy]

I can't paint anything without b!tchin about it either :P

I just watched Jennifer Lopez's new music video. I'm in love! I guess that's my guilty pleasure, I love those nonsense, bass booming dance beats.

[daylilies]

Where did you see the video? I can only find the teaser. I like songs like this too, for the gym.

[Gwenn]

I think my dad has more empathy for other people and their plight than Rich does, although Rich will help people out...even random strangers. I don't know how many times we've been driving around in bad weather and Rich will always stop and help if someone is stuck. My father helped many people financially through the years, where I don't think Rich would.

One of the things I love most about DH is the way he is always ready to stop and help - anything from stray dogs to car accidents. I absolutely adore that about him. He'll give people money he really can't afford, also. Oh - and he is a real conservative!


I'm watching AI...I won't give it away though. I'll hold my thoughts till I know y'all have had an opportunity to watch it.

Appreciate it ... I'm still watching here. I'll hold my comments as well in case any West Coast lurkers are watching.

[daylilies]

I read somewhere that you should judge a person on how they treat animals and children. Well DH is not particularly good with either :rolleyes:

[Gwenn]

I read somewhere that you should judge a person on how they treat animals and children. Well DH is not particularly good with either :rolleyes:

Well, my aunt absolutely hates animals but she's one of the nicest people I know. She does love kids, though.

[Gwenn]

I'm watching AI...I won't give it away though. I'll hold my thoughts till I know y'all have had an opportunity to watch it.

Finished watching. Only one person I wanted to see go through who didn't. Kate, you're watching tomorrow so I won't identify.

[demigraf]

Have a good weekend, everyone! We're going to our house in L.A. to pick up furniture we left there and to San Diego to visit my old friends (one being my grumpy old roommate I told you I chatted with a couple weeks ago). Sure could use the 3-day break. Today was a 10-hr workday for me. Oy!

I'm on Team Love-To-Camp, m'self, but not anywhere near a car. I prefer to backpack in a few miles to really get out to the middle of nowhere. The dogs love it too, obviously, and are good bear repellants. The Sierras are awe-inspiring.

[missychrissy]

Where did you see the video? I can only find the teaser. I like songs like this too, for the gym.

They played the entire video during the show.


I read somewhere that you should judge a person on how they treat animals and children. Well DH is not particularly good with either :rolleyes:

I think that's true in regards to people that are abusive to children or animals. I know plenty of people that don't like animals, or children even for themselves, but they're not horrible to either when exposed to them.

I hate to say anything good about my boss right now, but he's one that never wanted kids but he is really good with them.


Have a good weekend, everyone! We're going to our house in L.A. to pick up furniture we left there and to San Diego to visit my old friends (one being my grumpy old roommate I told you I chatted with a couple weeks ago). Sure could use the 3-day break. Today was a 10-hr workday for me. Oy!

I'm on Team Love-To-Camp, m'self, but not anywhere near a car. I prefer to backpack in a few miles to really get out to the middle of nowhere. The dogs love it too, obviously, and are good bear repellants. The Sierras are awe-inspiring.
Have fun!!

I've never been that far out camping...usually the car is within sight. :P I've gotten to where I prefer to go camping in a camper now, but backpacking sounds like a lot of fun.

In fact, my original plan for AZ was to go hiking/camping on some trail with Shannon myself...leaving the kids and dh behind in NY. Then she started talking about bringing her gun to protect us from illegals and I lost my nerve! :laugh: And, she really did want to meet my kids too.

[daylilies]

Oh, I'll have to not fast forward so fast through the commercials, then. :P

[missychrissy]

They play it toward the end, when the judges are considering who to save with the wild card.

[daylilies]

Thanks!
Are we okay to talk about the show now?

[missychrissy]

I think so (?)

[daylilies]

I don't want to say anything until I know everyone's seen it but they're about to do the wildcard and I'm pretty happy with who they picked for the top 10.

[Cosmosmom]

Finished watching. Only one person I wanted to see go through who didn't. Kate, you're watching tomorrow so I won't identify.
I agree. There was one I wanted to see go through that didn't.

[daylilies]

Okay I'm done...Who did you guys want to go through who didn't?

[Bridget]

I don't watch American Idol so I can't join this conversation.
But I do love to camp. Growing up, we never went to Disney World. We went camping for weeks. I have so many great memories...

[Cosmosmom]

I have always thought that it's a good thing that different people are attracted to all sorts of different kinds. :winks:

This morning I think that I will be working for a bit on the marriage section of my paperwork and get to write about how DH and I met and what attracted me to him in the first place. I like this topic much better than trying to write about my own strengths and weaknesses!

[Cosmosmom]

Okay I'm done...Who did you guys want to go through who didn't?
For me it was Kendra. I just don't care for Ashton like the judges like and am so so on Naimia.

[missychrissy]

I was surprised they didn't save the karaoke singer...I still don't particularly like any of the girls yet. My 2 faves are Scotty and James.

[Cosmosmom]

But I do love to camp. Growing up, we never went to Disney World. We went camping for weeks. I have so many great memories...
So much does depend on how you grew up. We never went camping (mom said that was NOT a vacation for her and just made her usual life more difficult to come up with meals). Instead we did go to Disneyworld, Disneyland, Vegas, NYC, San Francisco.....and we drove everywhere from WI. I have such great memories of those family vacations. And I still much rather drive to our destination than fly.
DH likes camping well enough and did that growing up....before me he had hardly ever left WI. But if I said, do you want to go to Disney or camping...Disney wins. Vegas or camping, Vegas wins. His next idea of a trip once we have money and the vacation time is going to be Washington DC.

[Cosmosmom]

I need to see more performances to get an idea of favs. I know I have some that I like better than others just because I don't usually go for that style of music.

[missychrissy]

I have no desire to go to Vegas at all. The only thing I'd remotely like to see is the Beatles cirque du soleil thing they have.

[daylilies]

I didn't like Clint...he might have been a good singer but he didn't have the presence and he seemed too nervous and unstable to me. I'm glad they saved Ashthon. I like James the best.

[girlwonder]

I don't like camping. I think a lot of it depends on where you are camping. Texas in the summer is humid and 100 degrees, and sleeping in a tent is simply suffocating. Plus the wildlife - scorpions in your shoes, rattlesnakes love to snuggle up in sleeping bags with sleeping people to get warm, water moccasins in the swimming holes, tarantulas everywhere. I don't remember getting a lot of sleep on those camping trips. Plus Dad wasn't good with bringing food. One trip he brought water, marshmallows and squirrel stew.

[daylilies]

I might like camping but I don't know. LOL
DH won't do it. He gets too nervous being out in the open. We slept overnight in a camper at my family reunion once, and he was worried about that.

[missychrissy]

Plus Dad wasn't good with bringing food. One trip he brought water, marshmallows and squirrel stew.
:laugh: omg!

We don't really have those critters to worry about. Maybe black bears and some harmless snakes...and of course ugly spiders. The spiders freak me out, but not enough to thwart my love of camping.

I love everything about it...the bonfires and smores, cooking eggs over an open fire in the morning, the social aspect of camping in a park. I like exploring what each park has to offer, the quietness and solitude if you desire. Just everything!!

[Ky'sMom]

I don't like camping. I think a lot of it depends on where you are camping. Texas in the summer is humid and 100 degrees, and sleeping in a tent is simply suffocating. Plus the wildlife - scorpions in your shoes, rattlesnakes love to snuggle up in sleeping bags with sleeping people to get warm, water moccasins in the swimming holes, tarantulas everywhere. I don't remember getting a lot of sleep on those camping trips. Plus Dad wasn't good with bringing food. One trip he brought water, marshmallows and squirrel stew.

Okay, the bolded area is hilarious :laugh:!

I also agree with everything though you said about camping. It is way too hot and I enjoy air conditioning. I love my bed, any bed is better than a bag on the hard ground IMO.

I have tasted squirrel, opossom, and rabbit stew already and don't need to go camping for that experience. Oh, forgot racoon as well. My great-grandfather, who was my only grandfather figure in my life, used to set traps for them in his backyard in a very nice neighborhood in Toledo and whenever he caught them, I got to scruch up my face while he killed and skinned them. It didn't frighten me but all animals, especially rodent looking animals, are nasty looking all pink and bloody without fur. The stews were good though. He grew up dirt poor and said that all the meat he ever ate was squirrel, opossom, rabbit, and coons. For holidays sometimes they would get ham or chicken or turkey, but very rarely and he was just used to having free meat LOL! He once told me that he was able to save and buy a few houses and make money when he moved from TN to OH because he didn't have to buy any groceries. He knew how to grow food and catch small game and lived on that with his uncle when he first moved to Toledo in the 1920s.

DH thinks I'm crazy in my dislike of camping, but heh....I just like modern conveniences. I do like hiking and solitude in nature, just not overnight. It doesn't help that here in GA the pollen count is in the 3000 range quite often in spring and is pretty high in autumn as wel. I would never go camping in the summer because it is just way too hot.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

Um yeah the idea of rodent stews...not appealing at all.
We don't have too many scary animals here...maybe some bears in June. And ticks. I'm in a pretty high lyme disease area. I'm still not sure I would even go in my backyard at night....it's pretty dark if you go off the deck and there is a big field and woods behind me. And we aren't fenced in.

Chrissy Vegas isn't for everyone. But we had a great time....saw something like 4-5 shows, checked out shops and all the different casinos, rode the light rail or monorail thing a lot, checked out the lights at night and did some gambling. But than my DH loves the sounds of a casino and he likes to play roulette. Only thing is next time we are not going in July.....116 is just too much for me.
We don't do a big vacation every year so it will probably be 10 years before we go to Vegas again.....but we look forward to it! :)

[Cosmosmom]

Uggg.....Dh and I have doctor appts early this afternoon to get the health form filled out and labs ordered as part of the adoption paperwork. I really dislike going to the doctor. I am really hoping that she doesn't make us take our clothes off.

[missychrissy]

I didn't like Clint...he might have been a good singer but he didn't have the presence and he seemed too nervous and unstable to me. I'm glad they saved Ashthon. I like James the best.
Me too.

I hope your appointment is painless Jennifer.

I have a meeting with Jesi's school this afternoon at 3. I'm also doing a Win7 upgrade and just now transferring the user's data onto the machine. I might have to come back :hissy:

[daylilies]

I just applied for a DJ position on an online radio station that plays NKOTB and related musicians. :shock: It took me a few takes to get audio samples of myself that I liked, but I'm proud that I did it. I'd be shocked if I got a show, but it was fun to go out of my comfort level!

[AmeriBrit]

That's cool, Kate; sounds like a fun job!

I love camping but my DH is a city boy, so I've never been with him, but me and my cousins and sister used to camp out in the woods behind our houses all the time when we were teenagers....and there were bears in those woods...we were very naive! When my boys get a bit older, I'm sure I'll convince DH to go camping; there are some great places in the UK to camp out.

Y'all, I cut my hair even shorter today...please, tell me it looks OK? This is the shortest I've ever had my hair in my life...I love it at the minute but then I keep looking at myself and thinking 'what did YOU do to your hair?' lol

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/190166_10150105842388141_648493140_6516144_3292406 _n.jpg

[Bridget]

It is very, very cute and so flattering on you.
I'm feeling very inspired to get my hair done now!

[Ky'sMom]

That's cool, Kate; sounds like a fun job!

I love camping but my DH is a city boy, so I've never been with him, but me and my cousins and sister used to camp out in the woods behind our houses all the time when we were teenagers....and there were bears in those woods...we were very naive! When my boys get a bit older, I'm sure I'll convince DH to go camping; there are some great places in the UK to camp out.

Y'all, I cut my hair even shorter today...please, tell me it looks OK? This is the shortest I've ever had my hair in my life...I love it at the minute but then I keep looking at myself and thinking 'what did YOU do to your hair?' lol

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/190166_10150105842388141_648493140_6516144_3292406 _n.jpg

It is very cute!!! I like the length on you. It frames your face. Plus hair will always grow back.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

I agree Ashley....hair looks very cute on you!

OMG, we were with the doctor like over 2 hours. Various tests. Got to have the TB read monday and get the labs done. Plus she thinks DH has a hydrocele so he's getting an ultrasound on that monday. He hurt his groin pretty well in 2006 and while he had it looked at in 2008, it wasn't acting up. Every so often if he sneezes funny or moves weird, it will bother him for a while and than go away. I suspect he's had a minor inguinal hernia. Not sure if they will recommend wait and see or surgery...hopefully not surgery as he doesn't have much time off work left.

[Bridget]

Remember the little boy who told Savana and Kai if they are bad that they go to the devil?
Well today he ventured to think about how cool it would be if his flashlight could shine so bright he would see what was underground. I was like, "Oh cool, what do you think you would see?"
"The Devil."
:ohno:
I said I wondered if he'd see any worms or hibernating animals which turned the conversation around nicely. Then he said that if we shined it up we might see God. Savana asked me who God was. He told her God is a magic guy in heaven and so she asked me what heaven is.
I couldn't say anything in front of him because I just can't have kids going home telling their parents that I said this or that about God. So I told her we'd talk about it later because it's private.
So I just told her that some people believe that God made everything in the world including people and animals and flowers and trees. She laughed and said, "Well that's not true at all. People were first so tiny they weren't people and then they looked like monkeys for awhile.
I told her that's what I think too. I hope I didn't go against dbf too much by that conversation. He wants me to tell her God is real so I don't influence her too much and she can decide for herself. He has no idea what he believes. I've asked him several times. He doesn't think about stuff like that.
I don't want to tell her God is real. I don't want to tell her my mom is heaven. I don't think that means she can't decide for herself when she's older. I just won't lie to her and tell her I believe something I don't believe.
Just thinking outloud here.

[missychrissy]

I just applied for a DJ position on an online radio station that plays NKOTB and related musicians. :shock: It took me a few takes to get audio samples of myself that I liked, but I'm proud that I did it. I'd be shocked if I got a show, but it was fun to go out of my comfort level!

Woo hoo! How fun!




http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/190166_10150105842388141_648493140_6516144_3292406 _n.jpg

Very cute!! I'm getting mine cut this weekend.

Bridget, I wouldn't tell the kids something I don't believe either.

[daylilies]

Josh made his first comment about how someone looks today :( We were at the library and a bunch of special needs people walked in. One guy in the back had Down's syndrome but I wasn't really worried because he'd seen them before and never said anything. However the man was also overweight and Josh kind of laughed, pointed and said "Look mommy, I see a big fat man." I was mortified. I pulled him aside and said that we don't laugh or make comments about how people look. I don't know why he picked that particular guy to say something about. It's not like he'd never seen a fat person before!
I just went on to explain that everyone looks different and it's not something to laugh at. Mommy and Daddy look different from each other, some of his friends look different, etc.

[daylilies]

I love the haircut Ashley!
As for telling the kids something I don't believe--I believe in making kids aware of different beliefs and letting them decide for themselves. I know he'll learn all kinds of religions at church school and in school itself. I forget what class we took but it was either middle school or early high school and we read a bunch of different religions' creation stories. I don't really understand why you wouldn't tell your child about something you don't believe in.

[Gwenn]

In fact, my original plan for AZ was to go hiking/camping on some trail with Shannon myself...leaving the kids and dh behind in NY. Then she started talking about bringing her gun to protect us from illegals and I lost my nerve! :laugh: And, she really did want to meet my kids too.

What season was it? I remember some friends of my sister and brother visiting AZ from NY in summer and they all went camping. And ended up packing up their tents and going to a movie theatre just for the air conditioning! It was 110+ and baking inside the tent - they couldn't even sleep!

That said, I have been camping in AZ up in the mountains. It was beautiful there but a long trip. We used to camp at least yearly in NY but only once since moving west in 1987.


Okay I'm done...Who did you guys want to go through who didn't?

I actually wanted to see the red-headed kid go through. I liked him, and I liked that he wrote his own music. But he probably couldn't have won being so openly gay. I'm certain that's why Adam didn't win a few years ago and although he didn't hide the fact he was gay, he didn't write songs about it and perform them on Idol, either. The whole thing makes me angry.


I have no desire to go to Vegas at all.

Have to agree with you. I'm not into gambling and I just don't "get" Vegas.


I didn't like Clint...he might have been a good singer but he didn't have the presence and he seemed too nervous and unstable to me. I'm glad they saved Ashthon. I like James the best.

Love James. And love that he has Aspergers!


I don't like camping. I think a lot of it depends on where you are camping. Texas in the summer is humid and 100 degrees, and sleeping in a tent is simply suffocating. Plus the wildlife - scorpions in your shoes, rattlesnakes love to snuggle up in sleeping bags with sleeping people to get warm, water moccasins in the swimming holes, tarantulas everywhere. I don't remember getting a lot of sleep on those camping trips. Plus Dad wasn't good with bringing food. One trip he brought water, marshmallows and squirrel stew.

Sounds much like AZ camping! Although we don't have a lot of squirrel stew here. Not enough squirrels. It would have to be rattlesnake stew or something.


I just applied for a DJ position on an online radio station that plays NKOTB and related musicians. :shock: It took me a few takes to get audio samples of myself that I liked, but I'm proud that I did it. I'd be shocked if I got a show, but it was fun to go out of my comfort level!

Awesome, Kate!!!


That's cool, Kate; sounds like a fun job!

I love camping but my DH is a city boy, so I've never been with him, but me and my cousins and sister used to camp out in the woods behind our houses all the time when we were teenagers....and there were bears in those woods...we were very naive! When my boys get a bit older, I'm sure I'll convince DH to go camping; there are some great places in the UK to camp out.

Y'all, I cut my hair even shorter today...please, tell me it looks OK? This is the shortest I've ever had my hair in my life...I love it at the minute but then I keep looking at myself and thinking 'what did YOU do to your hair?' lol

http://a7.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc6/190166_10150105842388141_648493140_6516144_3292406 _n.jpg

Okay, you are gorgeous and the hair totally suits you.

My linguist mind is curious so I hope you don't mind my asking. Is "at the minute" a Southern or British expression? It's not something I hear a lot.


I love the haircut Ashley!
As for telling the kids something I don't believe--I believe in making kids aware of different beliefs and letting them decide for themselves. I know he'll learn all kinds of religions at church school and in school itself. I forget what class we took but it was either middle school or early high school and we read a bunch of different religions' creation stories. I don't really understand why you wouldn't tell your child about something you don't believe in.

I think she meant she wasn't going to expect them to believe something she didn't believe - not that she was going to hide it from them. If that is what you meant, Bridget. I completely understand that.

[Gwenn]

I feel pretty good about myself today. I did an evaluation for a child and found that due to some very upsetting family circumstances that left the mother with absolutely no support system, she is leaving the state. So we rushed through her evaluation and did an IEP for her (we don't normally write those and leave them up to the teacher, but I was afraid the teacher wouldn't do it or she wouldn't enroll him because she was leaving), and even finalized all the paperwork so it was legally binding while she was at the meeting so she could have it in hand and not wait for it to come in the mail. That way she could get her child services immediately in his new school. Otherwise I was afraid he would slip through the cracks in the system. She was really grateful. Afterwards an email came through from my former principal to the list-serv with some preachy message to think about what it means to exceed the expectations for your job. Well, I think I did that, and I felt really good about it.

[daylilies]

I don't remember if I commented on your hair Ashley, but I think it looks great. You're adorable.
Good for you, Gwenn!

[daylilies]

I must have missed it when Brett wrote and performed a song about being gay...I also hate to that that's what stopped him or Adam (Lambert, I assume) from going farther in the competition.
I think, gay or not, Brett just wasn't the type to be on that show.

[Gwenn]

I must have missed it when Brett wrote and performed a song about being gay...I also hate to that that's what stopped him or Adam (Lambert, I assume) from going farther in the competition.
I think, gay or not, Brett just wasn't the type to be on that show.

It was his last song in Hollywood week. He wrote a song about being in love and referred to the one he loved as "he" and was about being true to yourself. They didn't play it up much but if you listened to the lyrics it was pretty obvious. But you're probably right - although I think he was talented.

Yes, I meant Adam Lambert but couldn't remember his last name.

[missychrissy]

Josh made his first comment about how someone looks today :( We were at the library and a bunch of special needs people walked in. One guy in the back had Down's syndrome but I wasn't really worried because he'd seen them before and never said anything. However the man was also overweight and Josh kind of laughed, pointed and said "Look mommy, I see a big fat man." I was mortified. I pulled him aside and said that we don't laugh or make comments about how people look. I don't know why he picked that particular guy to say something about. It's not like he'd never seen a fat person before!
I just went on to explain that everyone looks different and it's not something to laugh at. Mommy and Daddy look different from each other, some of his friends look different, etc.

Aw that's rough. I remember being humiliated when my girls first saw an African American woman. They pointed at her and I can't remember exactly what they said...nothing disparaging or anything, but noting that she was 'different' from us. I said, "I know, isn't she beautiful?" and then saved the talk about not pointing at people or commenting on their appearances for the car. I never fully felt like I handled that quite right, but I was at a loss.


I don't really understand why you wouldn't tell your child about something you don't believe in.

I'll tell my kids what others believe, but I wouldn't ever tell them there is a God because I don't believe that. I think that's what Bridget meant as well.


I feel pretty good about myself today. I did an evaluation for a child and found that due to some very upsetting family circumstances that left the mother with absolutely no support system, she is leaving the state. So we rushed through her evaluation and did an IEP for her (we don't normally write those and leave them up to the teacher, but I was afraid the teacher wouldn't do it or she wouldn't enroll him because she was leaving), and even finalized all the paperwork so it was legally binding while she was at the meeting so she could have it in hand and not wait for it to come in the mail. That way she could get her child services immediately in his new school. Otherwise I was afraid he would slip through the cracks in the system. She was really grateful. Afterwards an email came through from my former principal to the list-serv with some preachy message to think about what it means to exceed the expectations for your job. Well, I think I did that, and I felt really good about it.

That's really incredible! I got a warm feeling in my heart just reading that. I'm sure you've made such a positive impact in their life. It's really hard to measure. :wub:

My brother is taking me out. :cabbage: I need it.

[daylilies]

I see what you mean about telling the kids what other people believe. Have fun with your brother!

[Gwenn]

That's really incredible! I got a warm feeling in my heart just reading that. I'm sure you've made such a positive impact in their life. It's really hard to measure. :wub:

My brother is taking me out. :cabbage: I need it.

Awww...thanks.

Have a great time with your brother! I had so much fun with my brother while he was here. I miss him. We've come a long way from when we were always at each others' throats as kids!

[daylilies]

Who won during Adam's season?
We don't really hear from a lot of the actual winners...I think the runners up do better because they don't have to stick to whatever Idol contract they have. Daughtry and Kelly Clarkson (although she won) are the biggest...and I think a couple winners or runners up went to country music.

[Gwenn]

Carrie Underwood has made a ton more money that Kelly Clarkson, I believe ... she's certainly more talented. But she is a country singer.

I agree that it's usually the runner up who is better. I can't remember who won the year Adam was on ... some boring, noncontroversial guy. Which has happened 3 years in a row now.

[Cosmosmom]

Wait a minute, you mean Adam Lambert is gay??? :wink: Seriously, I really liked most of his album and actually was the last whole album I bought. Love me some Glambert. :)
Kris Allen is the guy that he lost to.

Eh I can't really stand Carrie Underwood. Loved Kelly though and DH and I did buy her albums. Course I just cannot stand country music (or most rap/r&b....only a few of those I like).

And Kate, don't worry too much. I have been the "fat lady" where kids have said, daddy, look at the lady's huge tummy." Parent so embarrassed..... But really I am in denial...I do have a big tummy and back than I had a REALLY big tummy. I knew I was 360 lbs and fatter than the average fat person. It bothered me so much more when adults ignored me....it was weird because I lost so quickly that year and to go from nobody holding doors open or acknowledging me....to the opposite.

[daylilies]

Oh, Carrie Underwood! I can't stand her either.
And Kris Allen, he had one song I kinda liked, but I haven't heard anything from him since.
I admit I didn't "get" Adam Lambert for a long time. I didn't understand how he fit into today's music. He seemed very 80's glam to me. But I think he's grown on me.
I understand there are fat people in the world, but that doesn't make it okay for kids to comment. I think I overreacted because when I spoke to him about what he said, he burst into tears :( I felt so bad. I don't think he knew any better.

[Cosmosmom]

No I don't think that it's ok to comment about others either. Though I think that even as adults, we do that way more than we realize ourselves...we just usually have a tiny bit more tact to do it outside of the persons hearing.
It sounds like he really didn't realize it wasn't nice (and I think that most kids that did say something to be back than were probably about 3-5 looking)....but what a good moment to talk about how we all have differences and that is ok but it's not nice to point out certain ones. it's pretty complicated to a little dude to realize it's not nice to say someone is fat even if it's true....yet if someone has a nice coat, that is ok to comment on because it's nice.
And than you throw into the mix compliments that you say to be nice...even if don't really mean it. OMG, it gets complicated!

[Gwenn]

No I don't think that it's ok to comment about others either. Though I think that even as adults, we do that way more than we realize ourselves...we just usually have a tiny bit more tact to do it outside of the persons hearing.
It sounds like he really didn't realize it wasn't nice (and I think that most kids that did say something to be back than were probably about 3-5 looking)....but what a good moment to talk about how we all have differences and that is ok but it's not nice to point out certain ones. it's pretty complicated to a little dude to realize it's not nice to say someone is fat even if it's true....yet if someone has a nice coat, that is ok to comment on because it's nice.
And than you throw into the mix compliments that you say to be nice...even if don't really mean it. OMG, it gets complicated!

This is the kind of stuff we try to teach our older kids with autism. I think all preschoolers have a point where they do this because they genuinely don't know it hurts someone's feelings. And they soon learn that it's not okay and stop. My kids don't learn it's not okay, even when people tell them that. Which makes it really challenging to teach!

[Gwenn]

Remember I posted earlier about DH always wanting to help animals and loaning people money he doesn't have?

Well, he wants me to transfer money out of savings to pay to ship a puppy home from overseas for one of his friends. Not our puppy, the friend's puppy. But he's going to ship it home. We can afford it (for a loan, not to donate), and he says we'll be paid back, but I have to laugh that he said this within 24 hours of my posting that. :laugh:

[Gwenn]

Edit that to say: he wants to pay about two weeks of my salary to ship this dog overseas. His money, but equivalent to that much of my salary. Yikes. Not so sure about this.

He says the total cost is twice that, he is lending him half otherwise the puppy will be put to sleep. Puppy apparently saved his buddy's life (otherwise they can't take dogs home). Puppy will be driven in a truck across hostile territory, flown to the US and medically cleared, then flown to where his friend is.

[Cosmosmom]

If I was really attached to a dog, I would pay that. Shoot, if I went to the breeder we got cosmo from, his pups are now going for $800 and they are a mixed breed pups. So yeah i could see paying in the thousands for a dog that I loved that saved my life (especially if death was the dogs only other option :( )

[Gwenn]

I would do it in a heartbeat for a dog that saved DH's life. But this isn't our dog! But if I didn't have the cash I would want DH's friend (or his friend's wife) to pay to get the dog sent home so I could pay them back. Not sure if the dog is put to sleep or just left behind as a stray ... in a combat zone in the desert. Probably putting to sleep is the more humane option of the two.

Yes, did I mention I'm supposed to be the one wiring the money.

[missychrissy]

Awww...thanks.

Have a great time with your brother! I had so much fun with my brother while he was here. I miss him. We've come a long way from when we were always at each others' throats as kids!
That's me & my brother. We fought when we were kids...actually, I was quite mean to him. :( But we're exceptionally close now and never fight. I think the last significant argument we had was in 1995 and I can't even remember what it was about...just that it broke my heart.

Are you going to wire the money? It seems like a worthy cause...if you can afford it.




My brother tried to burn my car up. Not on purpose...I was drinking so that means I was smoking. I was in the back seat and went to flick my cigarette at the same time he tried to tease me by putting my window up and then down. It crushed my newly lit cigarette, then broke it. When the window went down it fell between the seat and the side of the car. There was no way to get it and he poured soda down the side to put it out. We could see it burning against the side of the seat...but couldn't reach it. I know I'll be irritated with him in the morning. If it smolders and actually burns my car, I'll be much more than irritated.

But other than that it was a good night. :D

[missychrissy]

Oh...and I guess I should officially feel old because only 1 chick knew the electric slide and was trying to teach it to her 3 other friends. Oiy.

[Gwenn]

Are you going to wire the money? It seems like a worthy cause...if you can afford it.

My DH is fanatical about dogs. I think he'd divorce me if I didn't. We've been saving everything we can to pay for a kitchen and other repairs to get the house rental-ready, and he wants to buy a truck, plus he'll no longer be working and we're likely planning a move coming up ... so there is money but we can't afford not to be paid back because we really need that money.


Oh...and I guess I should officially feel old because only 1 chick knew the electric slide and was trying to teach it to her 3 other friends. Oiy.

Oy is right! Although I confess I actually don't know the electric slide despite being old. But I know I should know it!

[AmeriBrit]

Mandy, I hope you sort something out with the dog situation. I hope they pay you back in good time. About the phrase 'at the minute', it must be British English since that's mostly how I speak these days. The language is so different here. When i'm flustered, my brain struggles with what words to use. It's crazy how it's the same language but not really.

[3andMe]

Man, I was very busy for one day and I'm like 6 pages behind, and I don't watch American Idol. I feel so lost.

CUTE haircut! It's definitely not too short.

I kind of like camping. I like being out in the wilderness, but I also like being really comfortable, but I also dislike "car camping," so there is this struggle in me. I remember going camping with a group of friends after I moved to California, at a campground, and someone at an adjoining space had a tv playing that crackling fire program AT THEIR CAMPING SPOT OUT IN THE WOODS, right next to their fire pit. I don't know if the didn't want to be bothered actually making a real fire, if they didn't want to smell like smoke, or what.

I grew up going camping after multi-mile hikes into the mountains, far away from everything else, eating real food (scrambled eggs with bacon cooked over a campfire), not being able to hear anything except the call of birds and the rustle of wind in the trees, but also being so tired my legs would shake and my dad saying we could only rest for five minutes every hour because any more and it's too hard to get up again. Having to undo my backpack to cross rivers because if I got swept under I would need to get it off my back quickly or I would get stuck and drown. I remember kind of living on the edge of pain, fear, and awe. It was kind of an Outward Bound experience every time.

I'm old too, and I don't know the electric slide, although I do know people were doing it in my day.

I hope you can decide on your dog dilemma without too much distress, Gwenn.

[missychrissy]

:shocker: oh Lydia...that seems excessive to me! I could see the attraction as an adult, but I couldn't take my kids through that sort of thing. I'm afraid even if they liked it, I might not let them go.

Whether you knew the electric slide or not, wasn't there usually an entire group when that song played? I swear just last month I was out and they played it and at least 30 people danced it :P Maybe I'm remembering wrong though.

I did do the Macarena. There was a bunch that knew that song.

[missychrissy]

My DH is fanatical about dogs. I think he'd divorce me if I didn't. We've been saving everything we can to pay for a kitchen and other repairs to get the house rental-ready, and he wants to buy a truck, plus he'll no longer be working and we're likely planning a move coming up ... so there is money but we can't afford not to be paid back because we really need that money.
If Rich and I were in this situation, I have no doubt Rich would want to help his friend out as well. I'd agree to it and be happy to on the condition that he understood it was his new truck money that was being use...meaning, no new truck till the loan was paid back.

Maybe this is where I'm sorta more hardass than most, because I wouldn't feel like I should have to 'suffer' for my dh's generosity.

[Gwenn]

If Rich and I were in this situation, I have no doubt Rich would want to help his friend out as well. I'd agree to it and be happy to on the condition that he understood it was his new truck money that was being use...meaning, no new truck till the loan was paid back.

Maybe this is where I'm sorta more hardass than most, because I wouldn't feel like I should have to 'suffer' for my dh's generosity.

I completely agree with you there ... but right now we're a one car family so if he doesn't buy the truck, I suffer too. But I'll hold something else over his head, because he's always wanting something.

I just posted a picture of Dari the puppy on FB. She's very cute.

[daylilies]

Aren't the Macarena and the electric slide basically the same thing? Don't make me look this stuff up on youtube! LOL

[Ky'sMom]

I remember my little brother pointing and hollering in a hospital hallway at a nurse and saying what a fat lady she was. I was so embarrassed, I was 16 at the time, my mom was REALLY embarrassed and told him that it wasn't nice.

Remembering that, I always was VERY proactive, with Ky about people's differences and would point them out to him before he even noticed and we would talk about them. Luckily, he has never said anything really loud about anyone in public. He will ask me quietly about someone. Once we saw a man who had burns on his face and he wanted to know what was wrong with his face, he whispered it to me and we discussed it on the ride home and then about fire safety and kitchen safety in general. He's also asked me about little people before and I was happy that there was a show that used to come on, I can't remember what channel, maybe TLC or Discovery or something, the one about the family who are little people and have one son who is also a little person and the other children are of normal size. So we watched the show and talked about it.

I had a little girl once scream really loudly in a grocery store when I was wearing my huge Angela Davis afro, "Ew!! Your hair is UGLY!" It was pretty funny the way she said it and I laughed. Her dad was mortified, you could see the color go out of his face. I told him not to feel bad, a lot of people don't like afros.

Erin

[missychrissy]

I completely agree with you there ... but right now we're a one car family so if he doesn't buy the truck, I suffer too. But I'll hold something else over his head, because he's always wanting something.

I just posted a picture of Dari the puppy on FB. She's very cute.
Makes sense.

I'll have to peek when I get a second. I had a busy shopping day, running the girls around, and finally stopping in to my father's and helping him and his wife with their email issues. I didn't get home till 8:30 and this is the first time I've had a chance to sit or eat all day. Rich snuck and bought a peach pie from the Schwann's man. I told him he's started a precedent and now he'll be stopping all the time. :laugh:

Erin, that's funny about the child's comment about your hair! My brother-in-law is covered in tattoos and he says one time he was in line at a Burger King and an 8-year-old told his mother, "Mom, look at the freak!" :laugh:

[3andMe]

My twins have started referring to other people by the color of their clothes--"Hey Mommy, look at that purple girl over there. I think she will be my friend." or "I am a blue boy today." So I'm just waiting for the inevitable shouting out in public "Mommy, what is that black man doing?" as I once saw in another post.

I make a point of talking about differences too, calmly and matter-of-factly, and I've been trying hard to get dh to stop doing weird stuff like calling people in motorized wheelchairs cyborgs because I'm pretty sure that will just be trouble down the road.

[stash]

I've lost track of this thread again... crap.

[The10Eels]

My twins have started referring to other people by the color of their clothes--"Hey Mommy, look at that purple girl over there. I think she will be my friend." or "I am a blue boy today." So I'm just waiting for the inevitable shouting out in public "Mommy, what is that black man doing?" as I once saw in another post.

I make a point of talking about differences too, calmly and matter-of-factly, and I've been trying hard to get dh to stop doing weird stuff like calling people in motorized wheelchairs cyborgs because I'm pretty sure that will just be trouble down the road.
This entire post made me giggle..:truce:


I confess I back-to-back twice this week before leaving for Kansas City..

I am kind of scared to fly with both girls by myself.......

[missychrissy]

I confess I just watched Gasland and now I hate **** Cheney and Co. with a passion I didn't think I was capable of.

[missychrissy]

I found out today that even though I told Thomas (Bobbie's former loser boyfriend) to not contact her or I'd have him arrested, he has been communicating with her. And she didn't tell me because she didn't want me calling the police on him. As is his pattern, it started out as friendly chit-chat, then went to being abusive and culminated in him telling her at 4:00 in the morning that she should go kill herself.

Not only am I fuming mad at him, but I'm getting a bit irritated with her for putting up with it. She knows he gets bad, and each time is worse than the last. Why does she give him the opportunity? I would call the police, but I'm pretty sure they can't do anything more than talk to him because she willingly let him contact her after I told him to stop. She should have told me as soon as he reached out to her after that warning.

So now he has her feeling like crap about herself and all depressed about life. I took the girls shopping at the mall while I got my hair done and there were teenage boys following my girls around and saying stuff about them, but they weren't talking nice about Bobbie. She's crushed and I'm really feeling helpless about everything.

The teen years are incredibly rough and there's little I can do to protect them. It's awful.

[Bridget]

Jeez, Chrissy. That really effing sucks. I wish I had something more eloquent or wise to say about honestly it just really hurts my heart to read that post. I remember so well how painful and confusing my early teen years were. I know for sure it would have helped me a lot if Id been able to talk to my mom. But I did not feel close enough to her. I know it's not much in the face of seeing your daughter emotionally wounded but they are all very lucky to have you. And stronger for it, even when it doesn't seem that way.
:hugs:

[missychrissy]

There probably isn't anything to say. Right now I'm feeling so powerless. I hate that they have to go through stuff and hurt so much. Watching them fall down and get scraped knees when they were little was nothing compared to this. Heck, Jessica losing a tooth from a fall on a playground when she was 6 was far easier than the later teen years are proving to be.

There's more going on too with Jesi. She's keeping secrets and doesn't want to talk to me at all. It hurts. I know I'm not perfect, but when the kids really need to tell me something I believe I've been very good at letting them tell me anything and keeping my cool and opinion to myself. So I don't understand her reluctance to share with me. And given what I've learned about what she's been doing in recent months, it's making me feel distrustful of her. I hate that too.

Boo. Whoa is me. :cry:

[daylilies]

I'm so sorry :( Whenever you post about the teenage years I just want to give Josh a hug. Unfortunately he's sleeping :(
It makes the battles with picking out pajamas and wanting just one more book very small.

[Gwenn]

:hugs: Chrissy.

[demigraf]

chrissy, restraining orders are surprisingly easy to get, at least in LA county where I won one against my neighbor. All you have to do is present evidence of harrassment. As long as Bobbie is willing to go along with it, you should be able to keep Thomas the Turd away from her. Convincing Bobbie might be the hard part. She doedn't sound ready to let go.

Ash, SUPER cute hairdo again. :)

Mandy, I hope you both get paid back. I somewhat understand why they'd want to save that puppy and bring it home with them. It seems that difficult and extreme circumstances (like wartime) can make a person attach meaning and importance to items that wouldn't bear so much significance in other situations. Wow to the expense of it, though!

Slightly related to the topic of embarrassing comments, I had a dog that was a "racist" against any dark-skinned man. It was so sad. I think he'd been abused by one as a puppy before we rescued him. But he'd be all sweet and waggy-tailed and suddenly turn vicious to any guy that fit that description.

DH used to work with "The Idols" at the studio he was at before we moved from LA. Every year, they'd come in to record a Ford ad, and he'd come home and tell me which ones were nice and which ones were jerks. I will say that he thought Kelly Clarkson was the nicest of them all. I won't say whom he thought was the biggest d-bag. :laugh:

Funny story about how our childhood experiences affect how we feel about travel today. I hate cruises because all the fun cool stuff/real travel happens for only the few hours you're in port and the rest of the time, it's lines, buffets, tacky shows, and walking around in circles on a big floating building. And I hate car camping because my oarents used to make us go with the church group growin up, and they'd bring a KARAOKE MACHINE to the campsite and start playing back the songs recorded from the night before at 7am, waking everybody up who was within a half a mile. Talk about inconsiderate!

I know Vegas can be interesting in a Disney, over-the-top, artificial recreation kind of way. But my parents moved there a decade ago, and it's been weird for me to spend family holidays there in casinos, buffets and shows. I long for the simple holidays with home-cooked meals and all my cousins and aunties in the house. I'm not a gambler or a smoker, so I get bothered by both. Maybe Vegas is sexy and exotic in the expensive clubs and such, but mostly it's lots of smoking and/or drunk tourists glued to slot machines with zoned out looks on their faces and being demanding jerks because they can't understand why the Vegas they're in isn't the Vegas they see in movies and commercials. Also, the backroads and service docks just behind the Strip hotels are soul-suckingly ugly. That's been my experience anyway. Plus, I can't figure out how they can sustain that much development and consumption in the middle of the desert. It must be such a drain on natural resources.

Ok. At work now. If I'm good, you won't hear from me for the rest of the day.

[daylilies]

Ooo, you must tell me who's a d-bag, LOL. PM it if you don't want to say here.

[missychrissy]

chrissy, restraining orders are surprisingly easy to get, at least in LA county where I won one against my neighbor. All you have to do is present evidence of harrassment. As long as Bobbie is willing to go along with it, you should be able to keep Thomas the Turd away from her. Convincing Bobbie might be the hard part. She doedn't sound ready to let go.
I'm definitely considering it, but if she sneaks and communicates with him behind my back, that will invalidate the restraining order. I have to know she's on board with it being a 'forever' kinda thing if I take that step.

Interesting about having an inside on the AI'ers.

[stash]

I think we need to start cribnotes. Anyone who reads several pages of through thread needs to summarize key points for the rest of us.

My kids are sick. Gus is actually on antibiotics, which I rarely do, because he had a rattle in his chest that concerned me. And now I seem to be getting it (how can you not when your baby gives you slobbages and drools all over your face).

Sigh.

[daylilies]

Sorry Stacy :( hope he and you feel better soon!

[Gwenn]

Ooo, you must tell me who's a d-bag, LOL. PM it if you don't want to say here.

Me too! :laugh:


I think we need to start cribnotes. Anyone who reads several pages of through thread needs to summarize key points for the rest of us.

My kids are sick. Gus is actually on antibiotics, which I rarely do, because he had a rattle in his chest that concerned me. And now I seem to be getting it (how can you not when your baby gives you slobbages and drools all over your face).

Sigh.

:laugh:

I hope you both feel better soon.

Chrissy, I wish I knew what to say about Bobbie, except that I hope you can convince her to stop talking to him when he calls. What a nightmare.