Secular Confessions

[stash]

P.s. I couldn't care less if Obama smokes, as long as he doesn't do it around ME.:winks:

[missychrissy]

I don't want Obama to smoke because I want him to live to be 100 so he can remind everyone how they trashed him while he was an active president. :P lol I was little when Reagan was president, but I remember hearing a lot of chatter about how he was doing everything wrong.

All this talking about smoking is making me feel incredibly guilty. That's a good thing. I need to buy patches this week instead of cigarettes. They cost about the same.

[stash]

Burt instead of hurt. ****youautofill.,om

[missychrissy]

I am going to have a stroke. KimJ has teased me on and off about moving to VA for years now and she's sent me links to houses that are comparable to what I'm looking for here in upstate NY. The difference is, the taxes there are between 650-1200/year, whereas in NY I've only found 1 house where the taxes are less than 3,000/year, and most are over 4,000/year.

For crying out loud! Our roads SUCK and our state is broke (or so they say). wtf are they doing with all their money?

[daylilies]

LOL Stacy about the autocorrect!
Chrissy-I've been aware that you smoke and I've tried to be sensitive-I don't intend to make anyone who smokes feel bad about it-it's mostly the whole denial thing that pisses me off. My grandmother smoked but the difference between her and my MIL is that she never did it in her house to begin with, so it didn't smell. Also I don't think my grandmother was in denial that it was making her sick. You know it's bad and you're trying to quit.

[missychrissy]

Don't worry Kate. You couldn't make me feel bad if I didn't have something to feel bad about. I need the reminders. :P The more I think about it, the more I think about quitting and I really need to be on my own ass about it.

[3andMe]

I don't think any of us who has smoked is unaware that it's bad for us, Kate. That's really sweet that you're trying to be sensitive. I've been feeling occasional cravings lately too. I'm sure it's because I'm just feeling overwhelmed lately with the whole house decision and what we should do. Aside from knowing it's bad for not only me but those around me and sheesh, how would I ever have the time for a cigarette break when I have to carefully coordinate time to get a shower, AND expensive, I remind myself about the news anchor Peter Jennings who got lung cancer after starting smoking after having quit for 20 years. Apparently he started smoking again after 9/11, and I heard at the time returning to smoke after an absence can increase your chances of cancer quite a bit. I spent a lot of time quitting and restarting throughout my life, so I don't want to do anything more to my body. I already have spent a lot of time on recriminations, hoping I haven't significantly shortened my life and taken away time that would have been spent with my children because of stupid habits I picked up when I was a kid. *GRRRR* Now I try to think of ways to prevent my children from doing the same things I did, but I certainly never listened to my parents about those things.

[Cosmosmom]

I am going to have a stroke. KimJ has teased me on and off about moving to VA for years now and she's sent me links to houses that are comparable to what I'm looking for here in upstate NY. The difference is, the taxes there are between 650-1200/year, whereas in NY I've only found 1 house where the taxes are less than 3,000/year, and most are over 4,000/year.

For crying out loud! Our roads SUCK and our state is broke (or so they say). wtf are they doing with all their money?

My house is in the price range you are looking I think (trying to remember the ones you sent links to)......I don't know what my taxes will be yet. I am hoping for 3300 but I think that they will be more like 3500-3600. We have pretty high property taxes here. My parents are at like 5500 for an 1800 sq ft ranch on a smaller lot. We almost bought a few years ago in a Milwaukee subburb and were looking at more like 4000-4500 for taxes.
I think that WI is about 3 billion short too. I think that a lot of states lost a LOT of money in the stock market crash and have a lot of trouble with pensions and health care for employees. It is so annoying to think that all that money spent starting wars could have been used here for healthcare and education and things would be much different now!

I think that most places the roads suck. I don't know anyone who doesn't complain about the roads....they need to be fixed or the plows don't do a great job. They don't even come through my neighborhood unless we get more than 3 inches...and I HAVE to go through a roundabout to get to my street which has been interesting. And they don't seem to be fond of salt...only the most main streets get that and the secondary get sand.

I know my friend in Minnestoa pays much less in property taxes....but than license fees are much higher. I figure that the state will get the money someway or another.

[daylilies]

Yeah, I don't know many people who smoke or smoked and didn't know it was bad for them. MIL...I don't know what planet she lives on.

[Cosmosmom]

*GRRRR* Now I try to think of ways to prevent my children from doing the same things I did, but I certainly never listened to my parents about those things.
My friends in high school smoked...my mom said I start over her dead body knowing my friends did. And she said she would take away my car, I would be on my own after high school and they wouldn't give me any money to help with college....if I started smoking and she found out about it. (and I couldn't get a credit card...said if she found out about that, they would stop helping with college and I NEEDED that help).

I totally believed my mom would follow through with the threats and so I didn't ever try smoking not even once (I also have asthma and my friends never asked if I wanted one). And I didn't get a credit card.....which DH has thanked mom for because I would have been BAD with one at that point in time.

[missychrissy]

I've learned through painful experience that you can only talk to your kids-constantly-about your beliefs and the why's and why nots of what we believe. In the end, they're going to do what they're going to do. Maybe they'll listen to something, but they decide what they want to listen to based on their own experiences and biology. I spend a lot of time holding my breath :)

[demigraf]

I'm sure your MIL can appreciate how kids at that age become preoccupied with rules, and along with it, josh may sound a little judgy. Since she's dismissive even when grownups talk about the dangers of smoking, my guess is that she'll laugh off anything josh'll have to say and even think it's adorable.

My last comment in this thread was @ 2 am when B got me up, so I went back to sleep right away and dreamt that Obama had brokered peace between Israel and Egypt(?), all because of quitting smoking! LMAO!

Up until I got pg w/ Bodhi, I had this odd belief that it was ok for me to smoke if I was out the country traveling alone. So my habit was to give away my cigarettes at the airport if I re-entered with any. The last time this happened, I was at Miami Intl. Airpt., and I walked all over trying to spot the smokers. I finally found a group of sexy Brazilian couples who were literally wrapped around each other. One girl was straddling her guy's lap. I approached them and offered my pack, but realized they didn't speak any English. Even though I took 2 semesters of Portuguese, I sucked at it and anyway there was no way I'd have the vocabulary to explain why I was doing what I was doing. So I just kept trying to press my pack into one of the guy's hands. When he finally seemed to understand, he kind of thanked me with his eyes. I walked away and heard the pornoBrazilians all let out a cheer. I got around the corner and realized I still had a lighter in my pocket. I went back to hand it to them. They were all already smoking, and when I brought them the lighter, they cheered again. It was pretty funny. :)

[missychrissy]

:lol:

[3andMe]

I was a vacation smoker, too. For some reason, it doesn't seem right to watch the sun rise over a tropical coffee plantation with roosters crowing all around and a volcano erupting off in the distance without a cigarette. But I'm sure I'll get over it. I mean, it's not like I'm having to get used to driving in rush hour traffic without it, or talking on the phone. That would be way harder. :laugh:

I remember Obama talking about quitting way back when he was running for president. He was doing the gum. It's taken a long time. I bet it would be really hard to be a closet smoker when you're president.

[Bridget]

Myles, :laugh:. I love it.

I was a hardcore smoker for over 10 years and quit when I got my bfp with Savana. I was lucky for how easy it was for me and I think it is because I had to quit drinking (obviously) too. I could have one cigarette all day but put away a pack in the bar at night. I always swore that I'd never become a former smoker who acted offened by the smell of cigarette smoke so as long as one isn't doing it around my kids I try not to let it bother me.
I remember being about 20 in the bar one night smoking and drinking belly up to the bar. When I got up to go to the bathroom at one point, the guy sitting next to me said, "You know, for every cigarette you smoke, I smoke half of it just sitting here."
I said, "Then you owe me $2.50"
Ouch. What.A.Brat!

I am extremely annoyed right now. My sub said she had to leave today because she didn't feel good. Dbf was supposed to take the kids to the nearest city to get some new corals for the fish tank and we had to kabosh those plans so he could do the daycare. She also has an appt tomorrow and the next day. So that makes one no show, 2 late shows, one leave early, and 2 appts midday. All in a tad over two weeks. Not cool.
Also, I've been down there hanging out with him and the kids this morning and she is letting the kids destroy the room. I have an art dresser set up with materials for them to use that I keep organized and layed out nicely and most of the toys are high quality wooden toys, most of them with several pieces that go with each activity. Everything is all mixed up, the erasers for the mini dry erase boards are torn and sopping wet, the art materials are pretty much destroyed and in disarray.
It pisses me off that it's clear there is very little supervision in regards to the activities the kids are engaged in. It's either that or she just doesn't care and I'm not sure which is more annoying.

I don't know. Maybe I'm just anal but I almost wish I'd just closed down for a month and am seriously considering exploring other options at this point so I don't have to use this sub any longer.

[missychrissy]

Man, I'd be annoyed too. Are you going to talk to her? I think I'd tell her, "This isn't working out..."

[daylilies]

Bridget, I'm actually giggling over here at "You owe me $2.50"

Okay, confession time! I smoked for a year in high school. It was only socially--all my friends went out back to smoke during lunch and I got sick of eating lunch alone. The only way I could stand their smoke was if I smoked too. :rolleyes:
I quit when I realized the anxiety of getting caught was cancelling out the supposedly relaxing effect cigarettes have.
I'm sorry your sub isn't working out :(

[demigraf]

yeah, bridget, your sub sounds like she's not taking the job seriously. what would you do if you let her go? get DBF to cover for you? find a part-time helper but stay on the premises?

that's cool that they were going coral buying before your sub got sick. I just found out from a guy I work with who's really into saltwater tanks how much chemistry there is to keeping a tank the right environment for all the different species of fish & coral in it. once a month, he goes to this club meetup at a local college, where all these people come with containers full of salt water and little bits of their coral to trade them for ones they want. then they take the little bits home and try to grow them. sounds like my kind of hobby. :thumbsup:

"$2.50"... :laugh:

[Bridget]

Dbf is all about saltwater tanks. Ours is amazing. Savana knows more about it than I do. It's one of dbf's many business ventures. He sets up and maintains tanks for people.

As for the daycare....I'm brainstorming now.

[3andMe]

I have actively discouraged dh from taking up fish tanks - esp. salt water tanks as a hobby - for years. I know how much work and how expensive they are. After the orchid hobby, and the scuba diving hobby, and the rock hound hobby, and the motorcycle hobby, and the photography hobby, that's the last thing we need. I love that he has passions, but I'm trying to encourage the low/no cost passions right now. I love that he's really enjoying taking the twins for long hikes out in the regional parks right now.

[sarahlynn]

i am going to become ordained online...

because i can :indifferent:

[daylilies]

:hi: Sarah! That's awesome!
Love the no/low cost hobbies too. I'm not an outdoors person in the wintertime but once spring and summer come I could stay outside all day.

[missychrissy]

I have a 55-gallon freshwater aquarium. My last one. When these last two fish die, it's gone! No more tank upkeep for me!!

Ordained in what Sarah? Why did that make me laugh?

I love hiking. I cannot wait till spring when we can start again.

We were turned down for one of the small lines of credit we tried to get for Rich. We may not be buying a house at all this year. I'm feeling very sensitive right now and it wouldn't take much to make me burst into tears.

[daylilies]

:hugs: Chrissy

[daylilies]

IDK, I picture Sarah as this awesome freespirited ordained UU minister :)

[AmeriBrit]

That's cool, Sarah; are you going to officiate weddings and all that jazz?

I'm sorry about the credit, Chrissy. Finances are our biggest woe at the minute and I could cry every day when I think about the real possibility of not going home to see my parents this year. I hope the other lines of credit come through for you!

So, I watched what was supposed to be the first episode of BSG but it didn't seem like it gave a lot of background to the story, so I feel lost already after one episode...so, the people are running from the robots and the English doctor keeps imagining the one blonde robot lady? I even looked it up on wikipedia and that didn't clear anything up for me! LOL...I might have to give it up and move on to something else!

[demigraf]

So, I watched what was supposed to be the first episode of BSG but it didn't seem like it gave a lot of background to the story, so I feel lost already after one episode...so, the people are running from the robots and the English doctor keeps imagining the one blonde robot lady? I even looked it up on wikipedia and that didn't clear anything up for me! LOL...I might have to give it up and move on to something else!

Did the episode start with the background on the human/Cylon treaty, and then show the Cylons having their periodic meetup with humans on a ship in outer space and killing them all? And then does the episode show how Caprica was destroyed and the blonde robot saving the doctor by inexplicably shielding him from a nuclear blast with her robot body? That should have been episode 1.

I got ordained a minister online on this site (http://www.themonastery.org/) so I could officiate at a friend's wedding. It was crazy easy. I almost bought the rubber stamp packet to make me more official-styley, but my friend ended up breaking off her engagement.

[AmeriBrit]

No, it didn't show that! I knew it couldn't have been the first episode I watched even though it said series 1 episode 1! The one I watched, everyone was on the Galactica and they decided to destroy the other ship, forgot what it was called and the doc kept imagining the blonde girl.

[missychrissy]

I'm sorry, none of what I've read about this series sounds the least bit interesting to me :lol:

[Cosmosmom]

The very very first BSG was like a super long movie. Something like three hours. After that the episodes started. Here is the something about the miniseries http://www.syfy.com/battlestar/about/index.php?sub=miniseries

[Cosmosmom]

IDK Chrissy, I think that BSG is probably my favorite TV series of all time and I watch a pretty decent amount of TV. :)

[Cosmosmom]

Got my dad and sister hooked too and neither of them is a sci-fy person. In fact Dad borrowed my DVDS to watch it a second time.

[daylilies]

It's okay Chrissy, I liked it, but not immensely. I liked the "fluff" episodes. I think I read somewhere that only something like 1 out of every 9 episodes really mattered...the rest were character building, or just filler, and those were the ones I liked the best! I got confused with all the changing sides and the politics and things like that are just really hard for me to follow. I swear I have some kind of problem--I have a hard time following stories that aren't completely linear and straightforward. Any kind of politics, or double crossing, etc. and I'm lost.

[Cosmosmom]

It's okay Chrissy, I liked it, but not immensely. I liked the "fluff" episodes. I think I read somewhere that only something like 1 out of every 9 episodes really mattered...the rest were character building, or just filler, and those were the ones I liked the best! I got confused with all the changing sides and the politics and things like that are just really hard for me to follow. I swear I have some kind of problem--I have a hard time following stories that aren't completely linear and straightforward. Any kind of politics, or double crossing, etc. and I'm lost.
Yeah that is the kind of stuff that I like. I loved how deep it is and all the little things dealing the politics and commentary on today's society...the religion, the military, the trying to decide what makes something/someone human, what is real and what isn't. I think that the only one I didn't care for the boxing episode. I hate boxing and didn't see much useful there.

[missychrissy]

I cannot stand any sort of science fiction. It's something that my coworkers don't understand as most IT people like either Star Trek or Star Wars.

The only exception to my utter dislike of sci fi would be that Johnny 5 robot...what was that movie? omg-it was cute. Short Circuit. :wub: that movie.

But as a general rule, if it cannot possibly happen, I lost interest really fast. I'm like that with books too. I started reading one recently about a young girl that was escaping a detention or prison like setting and I was all into it until she spread her wings and flew over the razor wire. I didn't even read 1 page beyond that.

[Cosmosmom]

I will just have to say that Star Trek much better than Star Wars. And I agree...Chrissy how you be IT and not like science fiction? That is almost like saying I'm a librarian that doesn't like books! LOL
The one I cannot stand is the Disney WallE....OMG that movie drove me nuts. I liked the plot but hated the lack of talking.

And besides, who says Star Trek cannot happen? It's in the future and since we don't know the future.....
iPads are starting to look an awful lot like those data things that they passed around on Star Trek...... ;)

[missychrissy]

Oh, I forgot about Wall-E. I :wub: that one too. :D

[Cosmosmom]

:P

[daylilies]

I didn't like Wall-E. I thought it was too depressing for a Pixar movie. There wasn't even much comic relief--the best moments were cute, at best. Josh saw it once and liked it. Maybe because there was so little talking--he was able to make up his own plot!

I made the mistake of mentioning there is a movie about superheroes (I meant The Incredibles) and now Josh is bugging me to see it...I need to see if it's on Netflix instant watch...He has officially entered the superhero stage. He loves Spiderman and he loves pointing out who are the good guys and who are the bad guys.

[demigraf]

Jennifer, I think your first episode was my first episode too. Phew! I haven't been able to get into either Star Wars or Trek. I read an interview with George Lucas and his ideas of good and evil (with all his supposedly deep mythology about the Dark Side and such) and he sounded like a kindergartener talking about right and wrong. I thought maybe I wasn't just missing the boat on his movies afterall.

In terms of sci-fi, I like complicated plots, believable humans, and nifty imaginings of what the future will be like, hence BSG. I think that's also why I liked Firefly/Serenity. I don't read a lot of science fiction, but the Ender's Game series by Orson Scott Card was pretty good. I have a new one to read now I guess. The dude has some weird political ideas, though.

I confess I'm really happy that I caught back up with an old friend & housemate of mine who moved to NYC a little after Bodhi was born. She's back in state and we had a totally goofy chat over IM just like the old days, and it just made me smile. I'm getting to the age where I'm nostalgic about the friends I've had for years and years.

[daylilies]

I can really tell the phrases/techniques Josh is picking up at school...he's asking me how to spell cereal and after I tell him C he says "Cereal...can you hear the C sound in cereal? Say it with me. Cereal. Say it again. Cereal."

[daylilies]

That's cool about your friend, Myles! It's nice to have a goofy conversation with an old friend. I have one person like that in my own life, my first 'boyfriend' from when I was a pre-teen. He started off as kind of, what's the word, suggestive? when he found me on facebook, but after I pretty much ignored all his innuendo for a while, he seemed to mellow out and now we just have funny random conversations.

[missychrissy]

Conner loves the Incredibles Kate. I'm sure Josh will love it. I can't remember if it's streamable on Netflix or not though. I think they change their availability from time to time too.

I don't think I have any long-term friends that I can get like that with. I met up with my closest childhood/highschool friend last year and while it was pleasant, some of the magic was just gone. I remember we could spend hours just laughing hysterically about nothing. I miss that.

[daylilies]

Yeah, I checked and The Incredibles is not on instant.
I haven't clicked again with most of the people I've rediscovered through facebook. My best friends from high school are on there but we never talk.

[Gwenn]

Coming to this conversation late in the game...

I'm being reminded of my grandpa. He was born in the year 1900 exactly and started smoking as a teenager. It wasn't until the 1960's that he went to his doctor and the doctor told him that smoking was unhealthy - hard for me to believe in this day and age but Grandpa had never heard that before! So Grandpa told the doctor, well, if it's bad for me I won't smoke anymore. And he never smoked another cigarette ... he lived to be 93. And after 40-50 years of smoking! God, I miss my Grandpa. He was so cool.

I actually like complex political stories but tend to prefer them in a fantasy setting over a sci-fi setting. I was into Star Trek The Next Generation for a while because of a college roommate and DH loves the original Star Trek but he's not a Trekkie or anything. I remember watching an episode with him once and they had some supposedly "futuristic" device that would allow them to communicate with aliens. I just started laughing - I used more sophisticated communication technology every day and this was supposed to be this amazing technology of the future.

[Gwenn]

I have to cheer for a moment. It's after 6 and still light outside :hooray::hooray::hooray: That means spring is coming, and great weather, and no more seasonal affective disorder, and DH coming home!!!!!!

Oh, and Bridget - meant to respond earlier - I'd look for alternatives to your sub, too. She sounds like she just doesn't care.

[Bridget]

My best friend just came over last night.:wub:
We always pick up where we left off and I love that.

[sarahlynn]

3]That's cool, Sarah; are you going to officiate weddings and all that jazz?



Yes...

[stash]

I have a few really old friends, and a couple of newer ones, that I adore. My bestest friend is actually someone I met lesbian two years ago, but it feels like we're kids together. She's due with her first next week, and was here the day Gus was born. :wub: If there's one thing I've learned as an old woman, It's that having one or two besties you can hang with is critical.

[stash]

OMG LESBIAN :lol: that was an autofill screwup on my phone I tried to type LESS THAN :lol:

[Gwenn]

OMG LESBIAN :lol: that was an autofill screwup on my phone I tried to type LESS THAN :lol:

:laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

I was just reading this and thinking, "Lesbian two years ago? Isn't Oscar 4?" :laugh::laugh::laugh::laugh:

[stash]

I am still crying that was so funny. Anyone seen d@mnyouautofill.com?

[Gwenn]

Your example is as funny as anything I've seen on that site!

[The10Eels]

OMG LESBIAN :lol: that was an autofill screwup on my phone I tried to type LESS THAN :lol:

bwahahaha....

I confess that finding two awesome people here to hang out with is the only thing that has saved my sanity, and kept me from just up and taking the girls back to Missouri.... or Alaska.


I confess I feel like I am drowning in homework...

[3andMe]

Stacy, bwahahaha!

My autocorrect story is that when I sent my dad an email from my phone after I gave birth to Soren, it changed his name to SIREN and then my dad forwarded it to everyone, who just assumed I named my baby Siren. Whoops. People still call him that, if I don't see them very often and they don't read my blog.

**** you autocorrect.

My best friend from high school has gotten gradually more crazy. I rarely talk to her. She drunk dials me a couple of times a year and tells me its good I'm having so many children because I can train them to take over the world. My other best friend from high school actually lives here in the Bay Area with his dh, but he has a pretty busy life (as do I, but totally different) and we only see each other in passing.

I have such a limited IRL social life now, I realized recently that one of my friends on APA would probably be my best friend for the moment, just based on knowing what is going on with me and how I'm feeling. None of my IRL friends know anything more than a few quick hellos and what-have-you-been-up-tos at parties every couple of months.

[AmeriBrit]

LOL at the auto fills...I thought Stacy might have meant she met her through a lesbian friend or something...aaaany how!

I love sci fi; Star Trek TNG is my all-time favorite show!

[stash]

I honestly use two of my irl bff as subs for my therapist, who I broke up with before Gus was born, and have yet to replace. I feel soooo much better after we go out to lunch and rant for a while.

[missychrissy]

OMG LESBIAN :lol: that was an autofill screwup on my phone I tried to type LESS THAN :lol:

:laugh: :lol: Oh that was funny. I thought, "It's not like Stacy to post such a bad grammatical error...and that's odd. She doesn't strike me as the type to introduce someone as, "This is my lesbian friend Marjorie. We've been friends for 2 years." I think I'm going to laugh about this all day.


I have such a limited IRL social life now, I realized recently that one of my friends on APA would probably be my best friend for the moment, just based on knowing what is going on with me and how I'm feeling. None of my IRL friends know anything more than a few quick hellos and what-have-you-been-up-tos at parties every couple of months.
That's exactly where I'm at now. I've started wondering if there's something wrong with me because I won't make time to establish a real friendship irl. I don't feel like I'm missing anything and have no desire to have someone to go 'do lunch' with or shopping. If Amy-from-the-bus (used to make me nuts that girl did!) pressured me into meeting her for lunch, I'd feel ambiguous about it at best.

I do have a great relationship with my sil though. We go out once in a while and have a good time but we go long periods without talking. Not 'cause we're mad, but we're both really busy with our kids.

[Cosmosmom]

I love sci fi; Star Trek TNG is my all-time favorite show!
I can never make up my mind of TNG, Voyager or Deep Space is my favorite. Depends on what I'm watching at the time! I would love to combine my favorites from each show....like Data and the Doctor. :)

[Cosmosmom]

I have my sister and my bff. We live in different cities so we don't hang out much together in person...and when we do, husbands are there and her kids are there. But we email back and for probably 4-7 times a week. We have known each other since we were in high school, so basically half our lives.

I also actually talk to my MIL a LOT. She really gets the whole infertility thing since she tried for 7 years for DH and only got him because they developed clomid (and he was one of the first babies born in the city from it). And I can talk to her about DH....because she really knows how he can be. She knows how scared he is to be a dad...though says he wants a kid. She reminded me last night how scared he was to be married and to get a house...he is just a cautious person and not quick to change things and likes to plan things....yet we are married for almost 8 years and are living in a house. And he likes both and is glad I talked him into it. And at this point, he's had over 4 years to get used to the idea of being a dad.
It is nice because she knows her son (and only kid at that) isn't perfect and she knows that even if I complain about something or talk about something with him, that I still love him. And I know that even if I say something about him that it's not going to change how she feels about him.

[AmeriBrit]

I don't have many IRL friendds; I think it's because people require so much maintenance and I can't be bothered most of the times. At times, I think it would be nice to have more friends, but I'm ok without them; I was always one of those kids who was happy to play on my own instead of being in the group but when I do get in to a group, I like the attention. LOL

[missychrissy]

I also actually talk to my MIL a LOT. She really gets the whole infertility thing since she tried for 7 years for DH and only got him because they developed clomid (and he was one of the first babies born in the city from it). And I can talk to her about DH....because she really knows how he can be. She knows how scared he is to be a dad...though says he wants a kid. She reminded me last night how scared he was to be married and to get a house...he is just a cautious person and not quick to change things and likes to plan things....yet we are married for almost 8 years and are living in a house. And he likes both and is glad I talked him into it. And at this point, he's had over 4 years to get used to the idea of being a dad.
It is nice because she knows her son (and only kid at that) isn't perfect and she knows that even if I complain about something or talk about something with him, that I still love him. And I know that even if I say something about him that it's not going to change how she feels about him.
I think this is really important to remember when our kids are adults...well at any age really. I think my kids are great and wonderful and in many ways they are. But they're not perfect. I hope to be like you described your mil.

[daylilies]

I have to cheer for a moment. It's after 6 and still light outside :hooray::hooray::hooray: That means spring is coming, and great weather, and no more seasonal affective disorder, and DH coming home!!!!!!

Oh, and Bridget - meant to respond earlier - I'd look for alternatives to your sub, too. She sounds like she just doesn't care.

Woohoo! It is nice it's staying light longer. I wish we still didn't have mountains of snow on the ground, though...


My best friend just came over last night.:wub:
We always pick up where we left off and I love that.

Awesome!


OMG LESBIAN :lol: that was an autofill screwup on my phone I tried to type LESS THAN :lol:


I am still crying that was so funny. Anyone seen d@mnyouautofill.com?

ROFL...I've seen ****youautocorrect.com but not the other one!
Chrissy, I don't have any IRL friends...I have a couple who will come over with their kids, but I don't feel like I have anyone who'd be friends with me if it weren't for the kids, you know? I belong to a women's group but it's mainly divorced older women, not many younger married women with kids. They're great women but I feel kind of out of place.

[Bridget]

Oh my god Stacy. :laugh:
I so needed that laugh today.

[Ky'sMom]

I had to :laugh: at the lesbian autofill as well. Hilarious. I did a double take!!

I also don't have many close IRL friends. I'm closest to my DH, which is good but I do wish I had more close female friends IRL. I have a kind of close friend who has a little boy. We met through her son and Ky at the park. She is a great lady and I know we could be great friends but both of us are really busy and don't get to hang out a lot. She is PG now and is just as hormonal as I was when I was PG with Elle so I now am assuring her she is not crazy and just needs to rest and relax and take care of herself. But we have a lot in common and get along good and our kids love playing together.

You ladies make me want to give BSG another try. I never liked that series, it was too slow for me. I loved Star Trek Next Generation when I was a kid and Deep Space Nine but not Voyager. I don't like Star Wars that much because I saw it as too far fetched but usually I do like SciFi. I especially used to love the Stargate series, the original one not Atlantis though.

Erin

[missychrissy]

I always think it's a shame we don't live closer because I'm sure I could be close friends with all of you.

[stash]

Bridget how's Sawyer? Are they weighing him more frequently now?

[Bridget]

I'm taking him in tomorrow. It has been so cold here, like 10-20 below zero with windchills. I'm not comfortable taking him out in this weather. My car wouldn't even start yesterday.
But tomorrow is supposed to be significantly warmer. I've talked to the LC every day and Sawyer is pooping and peeing so I'm feeling like he is okay. But still really anxious to see his weight. If he's not gaining I'm gonna have to start pumping.

[Cosmosmom]

Erin, I like Stargate better than the spin off Atlantis too. I watched both but yeah the first series was better. Did you watch that one Kate? It's definitely lighter and more fluff/fun than BSG.

OMG Bridget I totally would NOT want to take a new baby out in this either. We have been that cold, except probably another 10 degrees colder too. This morning my car at 8am was reading -15 and that is before windchill. Uggg. But the whole next week it will be a heat wave getting into the 30's!!!!

[demigraf]

Jennifer, your MIL sounds really cool.

Bridget, I hope you get some good news tomorrow about Sawyer's weight gain.

Lydia, I love the new picture of Soren. I can really see your face in his.

The girlfriend that I caught up with yesterday isn't my BFF, per se. If I'd had my "no more grumps" rule when I first met her, we wouldn't be friends today. She is hands-down the bluntest, most negative sour-puss I know, and I love her for it. Guess we grew apart as I got more into being Bodhi's mom and she tried to start a new life in NYC. And it just so happens today that we're back where we left off - both sitting in offices with time to chat. I always saved our IMs because I couldn't bring myself to toss them away. Here's (swear alert!) yesterday's transcript (http://www.mylah.com/Chats/AmyFeb911.htm), for anyone with time to kill. We even talk about auto-correct - LOL. She has such a rough exterior that I love it when she gets totally girlie and pop-culturey with me (like when we started talking Mad Men, she says "I'm Peggy. You're Joan"). You know, the kind of stuff that takes you back to grade school. It makes me happy that she of all people goes there with me.

I do have a bestie from high school. We lived together in our mid 20s and traveled a lot over the years. We once spent 6 weeks in a car together camping/road-tripping in a loop from Seattle to Vermont, down the Eastern seaboard to Louisiana via the Blue Ridge Pkwy, thru Texas, the SW & Nevada (indulging my alien fixation in Roswell and Area 51) and then back to San Francisco again. She's the one who came down from Brooklyn to DC for the Jon Stewart rally, and she was my maid of honor. We're actually extremely different people today. She used to be the "wholesome" one in high school. I think our roles have reversed over the years.

Really, though, I think my life can be neatly divided up into episodes, and I could say I have a best friend from each of them. E.g. I would say Abbeysmom and I developed an instant close connection in our DD room. I knew like, right away, that we were gonna be buddies. When I went to visit her in person, it was just the most natural thing to hang out with her for 3 days. We could talk all day (shout out to you, Molly!).

Shifting gears one last time, does anyone else have ex-vegetarian girlfriends who started eating meat again when they got involved with omnivores? I have 3 of them! I eat meat myself, so I'm not criticizing them. I just think it shows how influential a significant other can be, if they get you to change your ideals.

[demigraf]

*double post*

[demigraf]

Ah, and reminiscing about that road trip I took with my BFF, I have to say that The Apostle Islands in Wisconsin were my absolute favorite. As a travel destination, the good ol' US of A really does rock.

[missychrissy]

Shifting gears one last time, does anyone else have ex-vegetarian girlfriends who started eating meat again when they got involved with omnivores? I have 3 of them! I eat meat myself, so I'm not criticizing them. I am just think it shows how influential a significant other can be, if they get you to change your ideals.
As a mother of a teenage daughter that's found herself involved with an abuser, this scares the sh!t out of me. And it's true.

I wish that's the only thing Thomas did was convince Bobbie to eat meat again.

[daylilies]

I don't have any ex vegetarian friends, but I think I told the story a while back about a guy I used to see who was a vegetarian, but it never bothered him that I wasn't. So a while back he got married and I googled his name one day and found a website of the story of how he and his wife met, along with a few early e mails they exchanged. One of the e mails from him to her said at one point, "Just the thought of kissing someone who has eaten meat grosses me out!" So I guess it can go both ways.

I love the conversation with your friend. You guys play off each other really well.

[daylilies]

Ack, this is adorable (just pictures and text)
http://www.zadan.nl/pics/spaghetti/

[missychrissy]

That is cute :wub:

I make a plate of whatever we're having for dinner for my parrot. I think my parrot is handsome though, not cute in a cuddly way like that rodent is (hamster? guinea pig? I can never tell)

[Cosmosmom]

Ah, and reminiscing about that road trip I took with my BFF, I have to say that The Apostle Islands in Wisconsin were my absolute favorite. As a travel destination, the good ol' US of A really does rock.
Yeah for Wisconsin! :hi: Though I have never been up to the Apostle Islands myself....yet. That is still about another 3.5 hours from where I live. Our problem is always what to do with Cosmo....I cannot stick her in a kennel, she doesn't know she is a dog. And I don't have anyone to babysit her. And I really don't want to bring her with. One of these days hopefully I can figure something out!

[daylilies]

Haha, I always forget which are guinea pigs and which are hamsters, too.
I think birds are handsome/beautiful too, not cute.

[Cosmosmom]

Ack, this is adorable (just pictures and text)
http://www.zadan.nl/pics/spaghetti/
Ummm, I do that for Cosmo. :laugh: Ok so I didn't used to to do that but than she got on a seizure medication that is liquid. First day I just squirted it into her mouth...she was NOT happy and never fell for that again. So now I just take whatever we are having for dinner, make her a little dish (usually about 1/4 cup or so), squirt the medicine on top, and she gobbles it down. So if it is taco salad, she gets a few chips, some taco meat, a bit of cheese, a bit of lettuce and a bit of tomato...once in a while a tiny bit of sour cream. She loves taco, spaghetti, mac and cheese, pizza, chinese....and knows all those words.
Oh and I totally take any hot foods and put in the freezer while I prep her medicine so it's not too hot for her. LOL

Did I mention that my little princess is spoiled? :laugh:

[missychrissy]

Cramer cracks me up with how much he loves cheese. Where in the wild would he ever have a chance to eat cheese? But it's his favorite. He can only have a little though as his system isn't designed to digest milk products.

[Cosmosmom]

Cosmo loves cheese too. She works very hard to guard me when I'm shredding some cheese since she gets the last little bit. LOL

If I had to guess her favorite though....I would have to say it's Culvers. She gets a few french fries and some of my bun and shredded pot roast from my sandwich. OMG when I come in with that bag (maybe 1-2 times a month)....she freaks out.

[AmeriBrit]

Lol. Myles, your friend reminds me of me. My BFF and j used to gossip about people and she'd feel all guilty about it and i'd be like whatever. And that made me laugh about Law and Order UK. They are freaks over here with the wigs. Stuck in the 1600's. I love having American friends to say these things to because I nearly cause fights and hurt feelings when I moan to the Brits. Nearly got in to a massive argument about football/soccer a few months ago!

[3andMe]

Breaking Bad is really really awesome. Mylah, if you haven't seen it yet, you should totally see it. And I loved Firefly too.

Okay, I have a few more minutes to pump. I took the twins out to Redwood yesterday to practice their scooter skills. I've taken Claire out a couple of times without Ronin, and she is markedly better than he is. He keeps steering off the path. When we were there, Ro decided he had to poop and he takes For.Ev.Er and a day to do so. So we all headed over to the bathroom where there are yellowjackets divebombing the door area and a big nest outside and then Soren decides that he has developed a sudden fear of bathrooms (like he's developed a fear of the dark, and being alone, and whatever else) and he started screaming like the ****ens when we were inside and wouldn't stop even when we all sang lullabies to him. So I took him right outside the door with Claire while Ronin's sitting on the toilet taking For.Ev.Er (he gets that from his dad), saying "No, I'm not done yet." Outside, getting divebombed by yellowjackets, is better than inside with a screaming baby. And then Ro keeps yelling "Don't leave yet!" and then Claire hops on her scooter and zips off around the corner and actually DOES leave. I race after her, drag her back, confiscate her scooter, and tell her she cannot leave. "Why?" "Because our whole family is here and you cannot leave without us." "Why?" "Because we're staying together?" "Why?" "Don't leave yet!" "Why?" "We're not leaving you!" "Claire, you are staying here until we're all ready to go!" "WAAAAHHHH" "Why?" "Bzzzzz" "Moooommmmmy! Come wiiiiiiipe meeeeee." "WAAAAAH" "Bzzzzz"

That was my day. If you had a hard time following that, think how I felt, being there! And I kept getting distracted by phone calls while I was typing, so sorry about the run-on sentences and switching tenses, but I have to clock out and I'm not fixing it any more.

[daylilies]

My mom watches Breaking Bad and she recommended it to me but I haven't seen it yet.

[missychrissy]

Oh Lydia! My heart goes out to you---but I laughed at the same time. A day in the life, huh?

[daylilies]

Oh my, Lydia. Makes a day with Josh seem peaceful :P
I talked to my mom today and she insists I didn't have any of the defiant behavior Josh has. I don't know if time has softened the memories or if that's true. I had so many physical challenges, I do hope that I went easy on them with the developmental challenges.

I had a therapist appt. today and I was lamenting that I have to ask Josh multiple times before he does what I'm asking. She said "Well, do *you* do everything the first time you're asked? Does your husband?" I was like *blink blink* "no..."
It was a big reality check!

[missychrissy]

Kate, I think it's wonderful you brought that up with your therapist and had kinda a light-bulb moment. Believe me, I know how frustrating it is but unfortunately I don't have any advice other than staying consistent and that it will pass. I wish I could tell you when though. :)

Ok, I can't promise he'll ever get to where he'll do what he's asked the very first time, but it does get better. Sadly, there's bound to be other challenges ahead but it is worth it. With all I've been through with my kids, I wouldn't blink about doing it all over again. I just would have liked to have had the knowledge, patience, and the belief that those annoying things would eventually end. :D

[daylilies]

The hard part for me is being consistent. How I react to things depends on my mood. If I feel optimistic, then I don't mind waiting all day for him to put on his boots, I don't mind reminding him for the millionth time to flush and wash his hands. But if I'm having a bad day, I have no patience for it.
Josh is mostly what I talk about with my therapist. She has some great insights, I think.
Oh and she said if DH won't read the book about defiance, I should read it to him. He did pick it up for a day, but I don't think he is reading it anymore :( He's reading a book a friend of my family wrote about being in a band, which I'm sure is more interesting :) They opened for Van Halen at one point, but Eddie fired them because the crowd was enjoying them too much. He didn't want his crowd to enjoy the opening act. LOL

[missychrissy]

Being consistent is hard, especially when you're having a bad day. I wasn't always good at it, and I'm sure I sometimes fail once in a while. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

[daylilies]

Oh I'm not being too hard on myself. I've gotten progressively worse. I was the one with all the patience when he was a baby. Now I just want things done and I want them done now. I don't know why I'm in such a rush all the time, since especially during the winter we have nothing but time to kill. But it's just painful to see him ignore me or take his sweet time when I ask him to do something. I guess I need to prepare him better for what needs to be done.

[missychrissy]

I'm dreading September when Conner goes to school, for many reasons, but one of them is I am not a morning person so getting a little one ready by a certain time to meet a bus is a real challenge for me. This will be different in that I'll be dropping him off but I still need to do it by a certain time so I can catch my bus. I was never very good at that and more often than not I'd end up dropping my girls off at school because I'd miss their bus a lot.

It seems like the more behind I was, the slower they were. :P I could be wrong, but that's how it felt. Sydney really made it harder on me because if I took her to school she'd cry and try to say she was sick and refuse to go to class. She'd get on the bus and go just fine, but if we missed it she'd fight me about going to school for some reason.

I'm hoping I'll do better with Conner but realistically...I absolutely hate mornings and I don't see that changing. I need everything laid out and ready and god forbid if something is missing. It's very overwhelming for me.

[missychrissy]

Right now I have it down to a science. I have everything ready for me the night before. I get up at 6:40 a.m., shower for 10 minutes, dress and dry my hair in 10 minutes, and leave the house by 7:00. My bus comes by 7:12. Jesi starts the car for me while I'm in the shower. :P

I'll compound my morning issues if we move to Owego as I'll need to meet the bus at 6:40. Adding Conner to my morning routine means I'll have to be up by 6:00 a.m. and hope Conner just cooperates with getting dressed. Getting up earlier just will not be possible. I would give up riding the bus before I'd get up before 6.

[daylilies]

I'm not a morning person either. I've learned to try to get him all ready way ahead of time. It will be easier when it warms up and we don't have to dig around for coats, mittens, hats, and boots!
I bought him a new toothpaste and he doesn't like it (it's minty instead of bubble gum) so now brushing teeth is an extra struggle--it wasn't easy to begin with.
I swear if I were a morning person my life would be a lot easier. But it's like torture for me to have to get up early and deal with struggles right away. Nothing like getting off to a bad start every morning!
On a happier note, he brought home a heart magnet he painted and a really cute Valentine's day card he made at school. I'll take pics and post them--the camera needs new batteries :(

[Gwenn]

Chrissy, you sound just like me. I am absolutely miserable with mornings and the only way I have been able to manage on my own is by switching to night-time showers (which have the effect of waking me up) so I don't have to shower in the morning. I got up, dressed, hair brushed, fed the animals, and left the house in 7 minutes the other day because I was that late.

I've just spent the evening taking my cat back to the emergency clinic because her skin condition is back and she stopped eating. I was terrified whatever was causing the open sores was causing problems with her GI tract which was why she was off her food. So I stayed and had them do blood work while I waited, which fortunately came back normal so it's all external and she was off her food because of the pain from the lesion near her mouth. Thank goodness. But - and this does relate - she has to go back to the dermatologist and the only appointment next week is at the clinic on the other side of town. To drop her off at the vet before work means an hour + round trip commute in rush hour traffic, and making it to work by 8:00 means leaving around 6:30 to 6:45. Given the fact that I live 3 blocks from work and can get up and out the door in 7 minutes, that's a major hardship and although I dearly love my kitty I'm thinking of waiting another week so I can get her in to the clinic that is 10 minutes from my house rather than the one that is 30 minutes or more. She's okay for now - they gave her IV fluids and told me to take her off the food they prescribed (dry food) and give her canned soft food. They gave her a can at the clinic and she devoured it. She also had another steroid shot to heal the lesions. The derm appointment is to try to problem solve what is causing the condition.

[missychrissy]

Aw Kate that is so cute. Can't wait to see pics!

Mandy, I'm sure I'd pick the closer clinic too. I try to avoid any appointment before 9 whenever possible. I never took a job that started at 8 before this one and the only reason I did accept it is that it was nearly double my previous full time job.

[demigraf]

Mandy, I'm just sorry to hear your kitty is sick. It doesn't sound as though she's in any major discomfort, as long as she's eating, so I vote for the closer clinic next week.

Lydia, OMG! Your story was so funny, and so horrifying at the time. I would have had a panic attack in your shoes.

My mom kept a postcard on her bathroom mirror in full view during much of our grade school years. It said "Avenge Yourself: Live Long Enough to Become a Burden on Your Kids". It never really hit me until I became a mom, that she probably needed that little daily laugh/pep talk to keep herself going because WE were driving her nuts.

[AmeriBrit]

Wow, Lydia; I don't know how you do it! I'll have to e-mail that story over to my SIL; everyone keeps giving her a hard time about having 3 kids (she's due in 2 weeks with her 3rd) so I'll tell her if you can get through that then it will be OK! (She has a 3 year old and a 2 year old at the minute).

[demigraf]

When my 1 child starts making me feel like life is chaos, I think about DH's mom. She had 8 kids, and at one point, she had 5 in diapers at once - my DH (newborn), the middle sister (1), the twins (almost 2) and another brother (almost 3). And they were in those flat cloth diapers too. She had a 4 and 5 yr old too. His parents blamed it on "cold winters". I would never have survived. *shudder*

[Bridget]

Oh, Lydia. :hugs:
I have a story. I would never share it on the main boards because I'm quite sure it's something someone post in ranting in venting if their sister or friend did it.

When we were driving home from Sawyer's appt in Madison we got stuck in traffic. Kai started saying he had to go potty. When Kai's gotta go, he's GOT TO GO. He started squirming and crying and I was frantically looking for something he could pee in. (Dbf was driving)
I found a plastic juice container and leaned over the back of my seat, unbuckled the bottom part of his carseat strap, took out his penis and arranged it so it was in the top of the bottle. He is giggling hysterically this whole time, "Mom! Am I going to pee in there??"
Yes, Kai. You are going to pee in here.

He starts peeing. His penis slips out and up.
The giggles intensify considerably. They are actually screams of laughter and disbelief now.

Yes, folks. My son peed in his own face.
And it's been his favorite story to tell all week.

[missychrissy]

:lol: omg-too funny!! I think it's great how he likes to tell about it too, makes it that much funnier!

So...

I had a bad day at work with the boss man again. This time I know I didn't say or do anything to trigger his nasty attitude, it's purely him. I've been talking with Rich and we're thinking of two other options as far as house buying goes. Since we're having trouble with his absolute lack of credit anyway, it doesn't seem likely that our 1st choice house is going to be a reality. We discussed taking a year or two to find jobs in VA and then buying a place down there. It would mean renting for at least another year, but we want to get to know the area and find where we like best and buy there.

Another alternative would be buying this old farmhouse that's being sold in as-in condition. We haven't seen the inside yet so at this point it's all just talk. But if it were decent enough to live in (structurally sound, running water, etc), the thought is we could live there and I'd find a part time job. We'd fix it up slowly, one room at a time. I'd be available more for the kids and appointments, and I'd be home to do the painting, etc. They're only asking $45,000 for the house. Electric, downstairs windows and roof have all been replaced in recent years. I think the furnace was new in '97 so it's not as old as the house. But we have to really look at it before I think much more about that.

[missychrissy]

While I'm in a pissy mood whining about everything, I may as well vent about the woman that was making comments about Jesi to other customers this morning. She was freaking rude and it was all I could do to not say something. I keep thinking I should have.

Jesi is wearing shorts today with those converse sneakers that go up nearly to her kneecaps. It's -6. She's crazy and nuts but she's 16--whatever, right? If she wants to freeze her arse off, that's her business. I don't mind if people are good humored and funny. A lot of times you can tell they're being affectionate in their razzing...but this woman was just awful, mean, judgmental and nearly cruel. I don't know why she was getting off by making fun of a 16-year-old girl, but she was nonstop about it. Jesi, bless her heart, either didn't notice or didn't give a sh!t what the woman behind the counter was saying.

I finally made my own passive aggressive comment and said, "That's why I love Ithaca so much. People can wear what they like and no one has an opinion about it." She ID'd me as payback. :lol:

[daylilies]

I remember around that age everyone wore shorts year round! Especially the guys. I could never do it! But what the heck, there's no better way to learn not to do it than to learn by experience.
The farmhouse sounds like a possibility, good luck with that! and sorry about your boss...some people are just jerks without having to be provoked. (they're usually bosses, lol)
Myles, I love the quote your mom had--I now have a new mission in life :P

Sorry about your kitty Gwenn, good luck at the appointment. I'd go to the closer one too.

[3andMe]

I actually found a lot of humor in my pooping yellowjacket wailing running away story - I was sharing it as comic relief, not as a look how hectic and awful my life is. It does seem like my most difficult moments have poop in them, though. You'd think I'd be used to it.

Chrissy, when my sister was 16, she spent a year going barefoot. In Wyoming, where it routinely gets to be 40 below in the winter for months at a time and the snow is up to an elephant's eye. It didn't bother any of us, but some of my dad's busybody elderly patients made a LOT of comments about it to him, and to each other, and to anyone around. It got to be bothersome enough in that small town that we started encouraging her to wear shoes just to smooth things over for his business. It sucked, because I was a teenager too and a full-on rebel, but I knew even then that it was easier to do whatever you wanted if you presented a socially acceptable exterior. Man, I'm sneaky. My sister never really did much of anything and I did just about everything parents wouldn't want a daughter to do.

LOVE the pee in the face! It's amazing how creative you can get with three. And how quickly rules get thrown out the window.

[daylilies]

Oh yeah I forgot I laughed at Bridget's pee story too!
We're having a sort of issue with peeing--as soon as he pulls his pants down he just goes--he doesn't hold onto himself first or control where it's going, so it ends up all over the toilet and sometimes even on the floor. I don't pee like your average person (I have to use catheters due to the spina bifida) so I don't know how to tell him to hold it until he's holding on to his penis. Is there some way I can help him or will he get it on his own someday?

[missychrissy]

Gosh Kate, I never thought about it. I wonder if it's the same for boys as girls? I never articulated how to 'hold it' with my kids so I'm going to say he'll get it one day.

But as far as holding it goes, for me I just clench 'down there' :D

Bobbie had issues with bedwetting when she was little and her dr told me that sometimes children develop the sensation of a full bladder later. Some kids don't know they have a full bladder at all, the signal isn't strong enough to wake them up, and for others it's simply weak and perhaps he just doesn't know how bad he's got to go? If that's the case, it's definitely a developmental thing that he can't really do anything about.

[demigraf]

Kate, m'be you could try to play red light/green light, but with peeing for Josh to teach him how to stop and start his stream. Then when he pulls his pants down, you could say, "Red light!"

chrissy, do you like home improvement projects? Working part time & fixing up an old farmhouse sounds like great fun to me. Sorry your boss is such a dillweed, though.

[demigraf]

I put Breaking Bad on my Netflix queue for after I get through Mad Men. :)

[missychrissy]

Kate, m'be you could try to play red light/green light, but with peeing for Josh to teach him how to stop and start his stream. Then when he pulls his pants down, you could say, "Red light!"

chrissy, do you like home improvement projects? Working part time & fixing up an old farmhouse sounds like great fun to me. Sorry your boss is such a dillweed, though.

Excellent idea about playing red light/green light with pee!!

As for liking home improvement projects, that's tricky. Our last house (that we gave up when we filed chapter 7) needed a lot of work. For many years we couldn't afford to do it. But a lot of it was Rich's lack of ambition to do it. It caused a lot of fights between us and I'm in no hurry to get back in that situation...so my 1st choice house is still my 1st choice because all the renovations have been done, and I happen to really like everything they've done. Besides hanging drywall and painting the attic for Bobbie and Jessica, it's ready for us to move in as is and won't need any major work for years to come.

However, when we did get on the ball and have money to do stuff in our old house, I LOVED it! I don't know how to do stuff on my own, but Rich worked with his dad when his dad had a contracting business so he knows a lot. He'd tell me "Cut the drywall to ___ X ____" and I'd go measure, do my chalk line, and razor it out. He'd also tell me if I needed to cut out for light switches, sockets, etc. I had so much fun! And when it came to tiling, once Rich told me how to do it we found I was much better at it than he was. You could tell which he laid-they were slightly crooked!! Mine were straight and perfect. :cabbage: I told him I'd love it if he'd start a construction business and I could be his assistant. I still feel that way. Unfortunately, he's not as into it as I am.

[Cosmosmom]

Had our initial screening interview this morning...mostly went ok but not sure if it will work out. A few times she mentioned christian. Ok so I'm willing to say I'm one...why not. DH is not willing. We are spiritual and we do go to church...not every week but we definitely affiliate with UU's.
So we called DH's mom to see what her definition of Christian is since she says she is one. Her's...belief in god. That is it. DH tells her she is wrong because Muslims believe in god and so do Jewish people. His mom than tells him to just say whatever the agency wants to hear....omg, DH is so not about to do that. He's the most honest person I know....too honest at times.

So I have an email in to the agency (lutheran) to see if this christian thing is 100% required, explained the beliefs of UU's a little bit, and asked if this will be a problem or not. I'm just waiting to hear back.
Not sure what we will do if it is a no go....international is out...just too much money for us and I don't know of anyone who's looking to give up a baby (mom's been looking too for a while but well we just don't know people who are in that situation). Other agencies we talked to were out of control in fees....some actually charge higher fees for a white baby! Or we could get into situations where we give birth moms a lot of money and they change their mind...and keep our money. Can't go there. Don't want to do foster care.
Could spend some time actually trying really hard to lose some weight and than maybe later this year or about a year from now, go ahead and try a few IUI's and if that doesn't work to just give up.

Kind of sucks that here we are....two people with a nice home, some money in the bank, good values and good morals and tons of time and attention to give a child.....and the whole christian thing might hang us up.

[missychrissy]

Oh Jennifer. :( I'm sure you're feeling disheartened right now but don't think this is the end. Maybe your UU affiliation will suffice for them. If not, are there other adoption agencies? Like a public one that's not affiliated with a religion?

I have no doubt that you'd make excellent parents. I'm sure it's going to be a roller coaster ride, but just don't give up. Keep pursuing this.

[daylilies]

Red light green light just might work!

[demigraf]

Oh, Jennifer. I'm so sorry to hear about your interview. :comfort:

If they were to deny you an adoption on the basis of religion, that smacks me as a tad bit discriminatory, but I suppose it wouldn't be productive to start a battle with the agency right now. Then again, agencies charging extra for a white baby is pretty discriminatory out the gate, so it's not like you're dealing with an unbiased industry. That's very sad.

I really hope you get your child soon.

[Bridget]

Jennifer, don't give up.:hugs:

Sawyer is still not gaining. I saw the lc today. She said his latch is great, she can hear that he's swallowing milk, he does not look malnutritioned...but has not gained an ounce. WTF????

I have to take him to see a pedi this afternoon who is new to our family. The LC said he will almost surely tell me to supplement with formula. She says do not take that advice, which I wouldn't anyway. But it certainly does not make me hopeful that this will be a productive appt.

[missychrissy]

:hugs: I wish I had some useful advice. Did your LC have any ideas on what might be going on?

[Bridget]

:hugs: I wish I had some useful advice. Did your LC have any ideas on what might be going on?
Not a clue.

[AmeriBrit]

Sorry to hear that, Bridget. Hopefully within a few days he'll be packing the weight on.

Jennifer, I hope they don't discriminate on the relgion thing but I guess if it's a private agency, they can do what they want? Or are there laws on that that say they can't discriminate?

As for me, my DH has all of next week off and I'm so happy. I love spending time together as a family. We'll probably do a few day trips as well as decorating on the house while he's home through the day.

[AmeriBrit]

Another post from me!

Cash had some cous cous tonight and seemed to really like it...do y'all think it'd be OK to skip purees and do more textured food; is that kind of like baby led solids?

[demigraf]

Bridget, I agree with your choice if your pedi recommends to supplement, at least for now. You know what's best for Sawyer, while often times, it just feels like doctors are reading from a script, recommending the thing least likely to get them sued.

I confess, I'm having a professionally insecure day again. I understand all the technology stuff. It's really simple compared to other places I've worked. It's just that I am starting to sense there are politics here that I couldn't possibly know anything about, but am expected to play along with. I hate that feeling.

Ashley, have a great weekend! We did baby-led weaning to introduce solids over here, and it went fine for us. Bodhi was never into purees. Meat was a very early first food for him, although he started mainly with avocado and salmon. With couscous, I think I'd personally be more comfortable if it were in a liquid medium like broth, only because I tend to choke on it myself. But maybe that's just my lame mouth. :)

[3andMe]

Soren hasn't had any purees. Pork chops with a lemon-apple relish was his first meal. He feeds himself at every sit-down meal we have, which is a welcome relief, because I don't have the time or the ability to spoon-feed him, or the freezer space to store purees.

[AmeriBrit]

Soren hasn't had any purees. Pork chops with a lemon-apple relish was his first meal. He feeds himself at every sit-down meal we have, which is a welcome relief, because I don't have the time or the ability to spoon-feed him, or the freezer space to store purees.

That's fantastic, Lydia. I'd like to have that routine at our house, too. I hear ya on the storage space. Cash doesn't seem to like purees whereas Travis ate every fruit and vegetable pureed before eating them smashed up and then moved on to chunks. It would be nice to skip it.

[daylilies]

I think Josh liked the purees. What he didn't like was the baby cereal! He was pretty adventurous when it came to trying real food, too.
I had to pick up batteries for my camera so we went to the mall and he threw a real fit. I wanted to get home and he wanted to wander around JC Penney. LOL. I should have just humored him but I wasn't feeling well and I really wanted to go home. Well that did not go over well. He became "that child" that you can hear screaming all over the mall. Since we got home he has not been much better. It's one of those days...

[demigraf]

Oh no, kate. I think we've all been "that mother" on different occasions, if it's any consolation. Once, we were transferring on a plane in Houston, coming back from Central America. Bodhi was way overtired from getting up early on spending 3 hours on the prior flight. He was overheating from screaming just before we got on the plane. I think his Ergo was making him hot, but I needed him to be in it while we boarded, as I wouldn't have had the free hands I needed, so I took off his shirt to cool him off. He started screeching, and I decided to walk away for a second from the area where people were pooling to get onto the plane. I swear, it felt like I was cutting a path right through the center of all of them just as he let out his ear-piercing shriek and arched his back so far that it looked like he was going to fall out of the Ergo. I could only imagine what people were thinking about having to share a plane with the mom and her screaming, naked baby.

Hey, since I'm procrastinating at work and we're talking about introducing solids, here's a video I took of Bodhi making his first solid meal out of an avocado. My wacky sister is the narrator (gramma & grampa are in the video too)... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lZmCS70KDe8 Wow. I can't believe he was ever that little.

[Bridget]

Back from the pedi. Still nothing. Told me not to co-sleep or smoke which was incredibly useful information. :eyeroll:
But says that Sawyer looks healthy and not sure why no weight gain. They want me to bring him back on monday. I wish i just had a scale at home.

[daylilies]

That's very strange, Bridget! I hope they find out what's going on!
Myles, what a cute video! You have a lot of videos!
I cringe to even think about taking Josh on an airplane...just being stuck on it if he ever threw a fit..I wouldn't live through the humiliation. I can barely handle it at the mall. He's getting too big to pick up (I'm only 5 feet tall and he's over half my height already, something like 38 or 40 inches) so I just don't know what to do with myself when he throws himself on the ground and refuses to move.

[AmeriBrit]

That was a cute video, Myles! I'ma pick up some avocado next time I'm out shopping.

Travis has travelled by plane quite a bit in his short life already; the longest flight was over 10 hours from Amsterdam to Memphis and he did OK. He did have a few crying spells (was 17 months old at the time) and people did gawk at him but my attitude was that he paid for his seat just like everybody else and he was only little, so they could deal with it. ;)

In other news, there was a teenager missing from a neighborhood not too far from here. He'd been out with some friends a few weeks ago and not come home, so they've been searching for him. I just found out they found his body in the river. He apparently fell in and wasn't a good swimmer. :( Makes me think of my cousin....the last anyone heard from him he told someone he had a gun and was going to go out in the woods and end it all...and that was on the 4th November...I just wish they'd hurry up and find his body to give closure to the family. Bah.

[missychrissy]

Oh no, I didn't realize he'd made statements about ending it all. I was wondering over the weekend if you'd heard anything, then forgot to ask. I'm so sorry.

Conner has been 'that child' at stores and on a plane, and a little bit at the dr's office today too. He knew ahead of time that he'd be getting shots and I'm not sure if that was wise or not. I didn't come right out and tell him, but he remembered getting them at his last dr appt so he asked. I try not to lie to my kids so I told him yes. Ugh. But it's over now and I've rewarded him by allowing extra time to play a batman game on the computer.

[missychrissy]

Conner was having such a melt down when it got right down to the injections that he actually hit me in the face 3 or 4 times when I was trying to get his arms out of his shirt. :( He hasn't done that since he was about 2.5.

[Bridget]

Savana was that child with dbf the other day. She really gives him a hard time. He took her to the dollar store (my worst plastic toy nightmare:laugh:) and said she could pick one thing. Well, she has an incredibly hard time making decisions like that and ended up freaking out when he rushed her. So she got nothing and was screaming at him.
He came home totally mortified and said he'd never been so publicly humiliated before.

I said, "Welcome to parenthood rock star.":winks:

[daylilies]

Josh does the same thing when rushed to make a decision.
I'm sorry about your cousin, Myles. It must be so hard to not have closure.
Hitting is an issue here too--I wasn't sure if you meant he did it on purpose or was just freaking out, Chrissy, but he hits, and kicks, and tries to trip me as we're walking. I don't know what to do when he's like that.

[missychrissy]

Oh yeah, this time Conner was definitely aiming for my face. I told him it wasn't nice and ducked. :P

[daylilies]

I think it was Myles who suggested red light green light to help him pee in the toilet--well it works! I just taught it to him yesterday, and he really liked the idea. This morning I heard him in the bathroom--"Red light. Green light!" Thanks!

So a couple weeks ago Josh threw up for the first time. Even as a baby he hardly ever spit up. We'd just come back from a breakfast out and he wasn't looking well in the car. When we got in the house he threw up everywhere :( Later on he said "I thought I was going to die."

Well I didn't really make the connection until a couple days ago he talked about our cat we had to put down and he said "George used to throw up and then he died" :(
He says he thinks everyone was cats before they were people. I kind of like that :)

[Bridget]

:wub: Josh

Savana's been having a hard time lately. I posted about it in new moms. I feel so bad for her.

[missychrissy]

Aw Kate, hope he feels better. Jesi didn't ever throw up till she was 4 either and I remember her shrieking and crying. She didn't know what was going on and it terrified her.

Glad the red-light/green-light idea worked! That's awesome!!

[daylilies]

He's fine now! This was a couple weeks ago. He just threw up that one time and was fine after that. We were afraid he'd freak out but he just kind of stood there looking confused.

I'll go read about Savana now, Bridget.

[stash]

Bridget, go to your sporting goods store and buy a digital fish scale. Use a sling to hold Sawyer to weigh him. Works great.

[Bridget]

Bridget, go to your sporting goods store and buy a digital fish scale. Use a sling to hold Sawyer to weigh him. Works great.
You just read my mind. All day I've been thinking about how I can just weigh him at home instead of loading us all up to go to the dr.
I'll send dbf as soon as he gets home. The fisherman in him will love having one anyway. :eyeroll:

[Gwenn]

Bridget, just read your post in New Moms. I think your problem is on the way to being solved now that you and Savana have talked about it and you are able to give her gentle reminders. That's so sweet.

I went to my friend's house last night (my one IRL friend I hang out with!) and when it was time to leave her 5 year old said "I love you, Mandy!" It was so sweet. :wub: And her 7 year old whispered in my ear all about how she was going to get a special ice cream treat tonight because she had been good all week but not to tell anyone else. So cute.

But I confess I kind of think her DH is a dip. He's nice enough, but he just says the most inappropriate things.

[daylilies]

My DH is like that too! We're sort of off color and crass with each other at times, so sometimes he will say an inside joke or something around other people, and they have no idea what it means. Every time we go somewhere with Josh he has to mention how he's a little handful or whatever, too.

Another terrible day at the mall, LOL...I don't know why I keep taking him back there! We got a pretzel, and he wanted a juice but they only come in giant sizes (sugary flavored drinks, to boot) that he never finishes, so I said no. I even offered him a sip of my soda to make him happy (he never has soda). He didn't want it and continued to throw a fit about the juice and it turned into a full blown meltdown. So on the way home I bought a Frosty and said if he could behave for a couple hours he could have it. When I got home I spilled my Coke all over the coffee table :(

Good luck with the scale, Bridget. That's a good idea!

[3andMe]

I don't know how much a fish scale costs (probably way less), but I got this scale from Amazon when I was worried about the twins' weights:

http://www.amazon.com/Salter-Electronic-Baby-Toddler-Scale/dp/B00009KX5U/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1297546157&sr=8-1

I now have a graph showing all of my kids' weights from birth til now on a weekly basis, except when we were on vacation.

[Gwenn]

My DH is like that too! We're sort of off color and crass with each other at times, so sometimes he will say an inside joke or something around other people, and they have no idea what it means. Every time we go somewhere with Josh he has to mention how he's a little handful or whatever, too.

DH and I have a ton of inside jokes, too, so I know what you mean, but that's not what I mean about her DH. He's just ... I can't describe it. My friend lent my her copy of the first Harry Potter book to read, as I've never read it. So she got it for me, and the kids asked me why I had to book so I explained. And her DH said, "I thought by this time anyone who wanted to read Harry Potter had already read it." What is that supposed to mean, exactly? I haven't read it, want to read it, and I'm borrowing it. What's the problem?

My friend is kosher and a vegetarian, so she's really picky about what she eats. Her DH eats meat and doesn't keep kosher, either, although he encourages her to do that with the kids. I guess they have an agreement that she keeps the house kosher and will cook meat for him and the kids, and he can eat what he wants outside the house.

Anyway, my friend made corn on the cob, and one of the kids said it looked like a hot dog, but yellow. So I said I'd much rather eat corn on the cob than a hot dog. Which I would, because corn on the cob is awesome. So her DH gave me this really strange look and said, "are you a vegetarian or something?" He didn't say it in a hostile way, but he did have a funny look on his face about it. Which I just thought was really strange considering his wife is a vegetarian. I never expected to be given the third degree about hot dogs in her house in particular.

But he isn't unfriendly. I just get the sense he genuinely doesn't think about what he is saying before he says it.

[daylilies]

The Harry Potter thing reminds me of when my husband worked in a bookstore when the books were first coming out and he says some woman said something like "aren't these books awesome" and he said I haven't read them. And she said "I thought you had to be able to read to work at a bookstore." :rolleyes:
Very strange though...I think a lot of guys don't think before they speak!

[missychrissy]

How does not reading a first release equate to the inability to read? Sometime people amaze me with their ability to be nasty without provocation.

We went out tonight with my sil and their cousin. Both bars in our town were dead. One hand a band that played country music. In all honesty, they might have been good but I wasn't mentally prepared for a country band so we went to the only other bar and they didn't even have a dj...just a juke that wasn't up very loud and soon became quiet. My sil & I came home just after midnight and left the guys out to hang. Rich has never been been 'out' without me in nearly 19 years together...it's both strange and good. I hope he has a good time hanging with his cousin. Chad is in the Navy and has only been home from Iraq for a few weeks.

[stash]

Lydia, how do you handle choking with soren? I get the pork chop bit, but the relish? I'm winging it with Gus this time and not worrying about purees, first foods... he's been tasting lots of things just this past week (dabs not govdelivery) and loves it. Smoked squid salad was his favorite.

[3andMe]

Soren hasn't choked at all except for one time he had a piece of lettuce with dinner and still had it in his mouth ten minutes later when I lay him down in his bassinet. With the relish, I actually didn't give him the chopped up relish, but gave him a wedge of apple that had been sauteed with the lemon sauce. I didn't start feeding him solids until 5 1/2 months, didn't do it every day, and stuck with the larger pieces and wedge shapes. I followed that Dutch article's recommendations, and it worked really well for us. At nine months, Soren is incredibly capable of feeding himself a full meal without any assistance whatsoever. He could almost peel a banana and feed himself, except he'd try to eat the peel too. :laugh:

I don't remember when I started giving him tiny pieces like Cheerios, maybe around 7 months?

[missychrissy]

Conner was a 'real' food eater pretty young too. I was too busy to attempt purees and breast milk didn't seem to satisfy him at all. We gave him mashed potatoes when he was about 4 or 5 months old. I remember feeling a little guilty about that, but he was really hungry and ate them just fine. From then on, we'd just mash up whatever we were eating and shared with him (peas, steamed carrots, etc). He ate cheerios on his own at around that time.

I really miss those days. They seem to go by so fast. I'm sorry I can't help but talk about how fast time goes every time I talk about one of mine being little. I really cannot believe it myself.

I just read an article that Obama is talking about capping Pell grants at 5500 for the next 10 years and taking away the ability to receive it for summer session altogether. Right now 5500 probably suffices, but with skyrocketing tuition costs it makes me nervous about what that will mean when Jessica and later Sydney are looking to go to school.

We do ok financially on our own and don't need any assistance, but we don't have much left to help the kids with their college educations. Right or wrong, I've kinda had the Pell/Tap grants in mind and didn't really worry about whether they'd be able to go to college or not. Talk about cutting Pell grants on any level is making me anxious.

[stash]

Lydia do have that article link still?

Oscar mostly ate what we did, mashed up. But I did some purees... I think this time will be a bit of both.

Gus is so very interested in foods, already. Loves tastes of things (really just dabs), but it's clearly just the activity and curious flavor he enjoys, not like he's hungry. I'll wait to give him any volume until six months.

[AmeriBrit]

It's been so weird this time with solids. For the longest time i've offered Cash purees and he's not been interested but all of a sudden this week, while at the dinner table with us, he's been smacking his lips and reaching for our food. I'm going to do like Stacy and do a bit of both.

[3andMe]

Lydia do have that article link still?

Oscar mostly ate what we did, mashed up. But I did some purees... I think this time will be a bit of both.

Gus is so very interested in foods, already. Loves tastes of things (really just dabs), but it's clearly just the activity and curious flavor he enjoys, not like he's hungry. I'll wait to give him any volume until six months.

Stacy, it's in my blog entry here: http://blog.lyds.org/2010/10/28/soren-and-solid-food/


The first month or so Soren barely got any food in - just basically gummed stuff and tasted lots of different flavors. It was really nice keeping him occupied at dinner though, because prior to that point it was a fight keeping him on my lap and keeping my food away from his grabby fingers.

[AmeriBrit]

Lydia, thanks for that link to your blog! I hope to be doing solids similarly this time!

[stash]

Great, thanks!

[3andMe]

Tonight for dinner Soren ate some Cheerios, a piece of banana, rice noodles with Thai chicken in a spicy peanut sauce, a strawberry, a kiwi slice, and two penne pasta with marinara sauce. It kept him occupied throughout our entire dinner, and he was far less picky than the twins. In fact, his wide variety of foods was because of the two separate dinners I made for us and the twins. He didn't seem too interested in the rice noodles, but that's it.

Incidentally, he also tried to eat two handfuls of grass, about six leaves, and three rocks today. So I can't say he has a discerning palate.

I turn 41 tomorrow. I went on a long walk with my mom and the rest of the family today, and I was thinking about how weird it would be having a 41-year-old daughter. I guess my mom has had some time to get used to it, but man, we're getting old. I still remember when I thought fourth-graders were old.

[missychrissy]

I can't fathom what it's like to have a 41-year-old daughter. I feel sad just thinking Bobbie is turning 18 in a few months.

I watched Steel Magnolias again tonight and bawled my freaking eyes out. Sally Field in the cemetery gets me every time.

[daylilies]

That's the scene that gets me too, Chrissy.
Happy birthday Lydia!

[missychrissy]

Gosh Lydia, I got so stuck on the concept of envisioning myself as a mother to a forty-one year old that I forgot to wish you happy birthday!!

For whatever it's worth, 41 does not seem old at all. 90, that's old.

[AmeriBrit]

Happy birthday, Lydia! I was thinking of the age thing the other day, about how at 30 (which I'll be this year) my mom had an 11, 6 and 4 year old. I can't imagine having a child old enough for elementary school... :)

[Gwenn]

Happy Birthday, Lydia!

[Ky'sMom]

Wanted to share some good news about our little cousin who had a brain tumor that I wrote about a few months ago. He had the tumor removed and had a round of chemo as well. He went for an MRI on Thursday last week and there were no signs of the tumor and he is doing very well! We are all relieved. The tumor was the size of an apple and he had stopped walking at 18 months when he had just started walking at 14 months old, which was why they originally took him to the doctor. I can't believe the tumor was so big, but we are all happy that it looks like he may have a complete recovery.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

Happy birthday Lydia!

Erin, that is fantastic news!!!!!!

Chrissy, sorry for the worry about the Pell grants. I never got one myself...my parents made just a bit too much money (never mind that my dad was laid off much of my childhood and mom lost a long time job while I was in college due to budget cuts)....and since I didn't have kids and was a traditional age student....I HAD to report my parents income. I had some scholarships and the rest was government student loans by me....and than PLUS loans by my parents. In fact I don't know any traditional age students that got Pell grants.
I'm on the 25 year repayment plan since by the time undergrad and grad school was done...I had about 57K in student loans. Sucks to be paying on them until my 50's but at least the amount is manageable every month.

[missychrissy]

Erin that is fabulous news! I'm so happy for him and all his family! :hooray:

Jennifer, that's exactly what we're hoping to avoid. I want her to be able to graduate with minimal student loan debt. She qualified for Pell this year, but with the upcoming changes it remains to be seen if she'll continue to do so.

She's talking about starting out at a community college and then transferring to university later. Scholarships and grants may well pay for most, if not all, her 2 year degree program.

[AmeriBrit]

That's fantastic, Erin!

[Cosmosmom]

I wouldn't stress that much with the student loan debt. They have a really great program now called the IBR....Erin I think you do that one too right? I have my sister on it. She has about the same amount as me for undergrad and grad school...yet her job while in her field is not full-time most weeks, not with benefits and not well paid. So she signed up for the program and is currently paying back about nothing a month....and as long as she stays in the program and does the paperwork each year, at the end of 20 or 25...can't remember which, any loans leftover are forgiven. Now once she is in a job making what she should really be, the loan repayments go up but never more than a certain percentage of her income (and they take into account family size).
The trick is to never take private student loans...only subsidized or unsubsidized government student loans. So much more protection there.
While I would have loved to gotten a grant and not had quite so much student loans, I loved going to college and do not regret mine for a second. I would totally do it all again. They are manageable as long as the rules are followed about repayments and contacting the lenders if issues arise.

[daylilies]

That's wonderful, Erin!

[Bridget]

OMG Erin. What great news. I'm so happy for your family.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh and I still haven't heard back from the adoption agency yet about if this christian thing is a deal breaker or not. So I don't know what we are doing. Another local agency is also religious...even more than this one so that is out. And the one we were talking to in 2009 we didn't like at all.

So now we are starting to think of just taking some time and really getting serious about getting in better shape and than going back to the infertility clinic. We never did try much in the way of treatments...mostly figured why spend the money on that when there are babies who need families. Just seemed like the better thing to do.
Now I'm thinking that might be worth just spending the money on IF treatments...certainly the easier option (OMG, the paperwork the agency has required is way more than I thought and I was expecting a lot).

[missychrissy]

I guess I'm looking at it from the perspective of avoiding any student loan debt she possibly can. 20-25 years is a long time to be stuck in a position if you don't absolutely love it just in an attempt to have some debt forgiven. Much better, imo, to avoid as much debt as possible from get-go. And so far, she is eligible for grants so she's utilizing them.

[Bridget]

I can't believe they'd deny you a child based on your religion. I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised but I cannot believe how wack that is.
As if someone's religious affiliation, or lack of, has one iota to do with the measure of their character. Stuff like that makes me mad.

[sarahlynn]

pisss on valentines day

[daylilies]

Sorry Sarah :( Bad day?

[missychrissy]

Kate, someone brought up the idea of a marble jar for rewarding good behavior with their kids. I've never tried it myself, but I have heard of it before. I read it and thought of you,


I actually had a mom tell me today to try and do a jar with marbles. She did this with her 3 children and it worked well for her. You have them help you decorate a jar. Get some marbles and every time they do something good, chores, say nice things, etc... put a marble in the jar. If they doing something bad, hit, mouth off, etc... take one out. When there gets to be "X" amount of marbles, they get a treat or prize. For her, she would have a day with Mommy doing whatever they want. That's because she has 3 but I think it would work if you only have one. Like I do :o) I think I am going to try this out with my 3 year old because he's really getting a mouth on him

That's from another message board.

[Cosmosmom]

I'm so crabby feeling today. And it's been busy here but I am pretty good at faking it when dealing with patrons and patients/visitors. At least the Bachelor is on tonight. I call MIL during the commericals and we trash talk some of the crazy people.

DH's car wouldn't start again. This has been going on for about a year now. Battery has been replaced, alternator has been replaced...more than once. Thankfully after the first battery and alternator we haven't had to pay anything. So it's back there again....I guess pretty much being taken apart trying to figure out exactly where the drain is coming from.
DH LOVES this car and we have had her since early 2002...first brand new car. It's been a great car...up until this point. Oh and she still has less than 50K on her....I think in the 40's for miles.

He was supposed to see the dentist this morning...now he's going tomorrow afternoon. So I will have to leave work early to get him and bring him over there. Sucky part is I park in the far lot and take a shuttle in...and the shuttle doesn't start running again until 3:30...his appt is 2pm. I have one myself Thursday afternoon. Thank god temps have gotten into the 30's because I will have to walk to my car twice this week and it's like 1.5 miles from where I work.

[daylilies]

Sounds worth a try, Chrissy, thanks :) I have jars of those little glass pebbles that I'm not using!

[missychrissy]

:( I hope they can figure out what's going on with dh's car. It would be a shame to have to get rid of it just because of that...but I know from hearing my brother talk that often electrical drains are one of the most difficult issues to troubleshoot.

I'm kicking myself for agreeing to look at my father's wife's computer. It's such a mess and I believe 1 of the hard drives is failing. There's a 2nd one I was going to do a clean install on, but I can't get the darn thing to boot off a dvd even though it's a dvd drive. I'm moving my data off my external hd and will make that bootable and copy the Windows 7 installation files onto there. Barring that...I may just tell my dad he needs to get her a new computer. It's not worth any more aggravation (to me!).

[Gwenn]

Wanted to share some good news about our little cousin who had a brain tumor that I wrote about a few months ago. He had the tumor removed and had a round of chemo as well. He went for an MRI on Thursday last week and there were no signs of the tumor and he is doing very well! We are all relieved. The tumor was the size of an apple and he had stopped walking at 18 months when he had just started walking at 14 months old, which was why they originally took him to the doctor. I can't believe the tumor was so big, but we are all happy that it looks like he may have a complete recovery.

Erin

:shocker: Wow, I'm so glad he's doing well! Baby's brains are the most amazing things!

[Gwenn]

Okay, so, not to complain about my parents again but this Valentine's day hasn't been the easiest for me. DH has been out of contact for over a week now which has made this really hard for me despite the fact that I'm not super crazy about Valentine's day as a holiday. But I am indulging in feeling sorry for myself, and just now the phone rang and it's my mother.

Mom. It's Valentine's Day. Whether I'm in a good mood or a bad mood, either way, I just don't want to talk to you. Yikes.

I didn't answer. Which means she'll probably be all paranoid. I just can't win.

[missychrissy]

Aw Mandy, I can't imagine how awful it must be to go so long without any contact and knowing he's where he is. :(

Your mother is going to have to learn to cope with her own paranoia. It's not up to you to constantly soothe and appease her.

I've decided I cannot work on computers at home on the side any more. It's ok if they're bought from Dell, HP, Toshiba or another big manufacturer...but this one was a special build and while it still had adequate specs, the drivers that came with it are all outdated and not compatible with Windows 7. That means I had to go to the Googles and find each.and.every.freakin.driver and manually download and install them to make the blasted thing work.

I have 10 hours into this computer and while I'd never charge my dad, I won't do this crap for his wife for free. She's cheap though and will probably gripe about giving me $50.

[Gwenn]

Oh, Chrissy, you can't do that. It's almost worse because it's family because this way you're being taken advantage of on top of it (whether or not that's their intention).

[missychrissy]

Shelda (my father's wife) would have me do it for free if she could. She's the cheapest person I know...Dad would try to overpay but if it were his I'd gladly do it for free. Historically, this sort of thing results in them arguing so I'll just take whatever she offers. I love my dad too much to add to the stress in his life.

I'm not volunteering to do it for free, and I let her know I already had 10 hours into it. Maybe she'll have a heart.

[Gwenn]

Yuck. Send her an itemized list of everything you had to do on it - maybe she will take pity.

[missychrissy]

I sent them both an email last night letting them know what was taking so long. Dad wrote and said to just send him a bill :P I don't even know what to charge. Like I said, I wouldn't charge my father anything.

[demigraf]

Erin - Thanks for sharing the good news! I confess I am typically suspicious of "established" medicine, but in cases like this, I just have to bow to the minds who make treatment like your nephew's possible.

Lydia - Happy belated birthday. You're a Valentine's Baby ? Does that mean you've had a lot of romantic birthdays?

Jennifer - I still hope the adoption agency won't openly discriminate against you for your UU affiliation. What a letdown that would be. :comfort:

chrissy - good luck getting the 2nd hard drive to boot! sounds like a maddening project. Your dad's wife is getting a deal.

kate - I'm glad Red Light/Green light worked, at least initially.

mandy - I'm sorry it's so hard to be separated from your dh. Do you have any idea wheny ou'll be together next?

[missychrissy]

Thanks, I did get it to boot and have installed 7 and ran updates. What a pita that machine is. I'm telling her she needs a new one within a year because that's the last time I go through that again.

Work is another joy...trying to get proprietary software to run on Windows 7 that was written for XP. Compatibility Mode is failing me because it's written by some doofus at Cornell. They're so slow about updating their software.

[Cosmosmom]

Ok, so I got an email back this morning and she said it wasn't a problem. I really thought she was going to say that it would be. And started thinking about getting a puppy for now, losing some weight and trying to do some IF treatments later this year. We do know that I ovulate and DH tested fine. My thyroid is fine...I have been on meds for 10-11 years and have been stable at a good TSH level.
I do know DH wants to get a baby sooner rather than later...doesn't want to be in his 60's with a kid going off to college.
So now we need to figure out, do we commit to plan A or plan B.

Oh and seems there is nothing wrong with his car. The battery was fine, the alternator was fine this time. They said he doesn't drive it enough and suggested this thing to buy for when she's going to sit in the garage. He REALLY loves his PT Cruiser and so doesn't want to drive her much and always takes my car. He's just going to have to start taking his own car to work (unless it's a snow storm because mine is a bit heavier/bigger wheels and handles snow better).

[AmeriBrit]

Totally o/t but I wondered if anyone keeps in touch with WillowSpy? How are she and her little boy doing?

[3andMe]

Lydia - Happy belated birthday. You're a Valentine's Baby ? Does that mean you've had a lot of romantic birthdays?


No, it means it sucks twice as much when your boyfriend or dh forgets about it. Luckily I'm not a very romantic person either, but I have had more than one really bad birthday. The worst was when my (ex) dh came home from work, fell asleep on the couch, woke up a while later and then asked me to go get him some Taco Bell.

[demigraf]

Yeah, chrissy, forwards compatibility can be a big gotcha. Wonder if it's a particular dll that the software needs from XP? I don't really know what I'm talking about . :shame:

Jennifer, whoo hoo!!! :hooray:

ash - oh yeah, WillowSpy. I remember her. Another young (to me) very bright lady. I hope she's doing well. I took a long break from any room other than my DD room after B was born, and it seems there was a change of "cast" in here. I confess I've wondered if I missed something that happened. Not that I'm not stoked on the current lineup. :D

Lydia - oh no, Taco Bell. Really? Good riddance to that one. Yo quiero you get your butt out of here. :laugh:

[missychrissy]

Well you sound like you know what you're talking about :P The trouble is the installation disks are loaded with applications and thousands of dll's and it would be impossible to find the right one (if, in fact, it's only lacking one). We're doing another attempt together trying a new approach and if we fail we're calling in the ones the issued the software and making them make it work with Windows 7. They have to-XP is going to be discontinued in 2014.

Jennifer-that's wonderful news! I'm so happy that your religion isn't going to be a road block. Can you pursue the adoption route while also taking steps to get healthier and ttc'ing? Adoption can be such a long process and if you end up pregnant in the meantime you can simply stop the adoption process.

[Cosmosmom]

We still use xp at work....they tend to be slow to upgrade. Our problem with IT is that my department has very specific software we use....on a total of 4 computers for three staff. The rest of the hospital uses other programs like for medical records. One of our programs is called the same thing as one of theirs. Except ours is for circulation, not something to do with electronic medical records. Thankfully my boss is pretty tech savy!

And yeah either way I'm staying on WW and trying to lose weight. We would still keep trying in terms of not preventing.....but we wouldn't go through with medical intervention if the money was going towards adoption.

[daylilies]

I have a small silly victory to announce :P I had a dentist appt this morning and it went really well! Okay, ever since I was a kid I have had issues with my teeth. I hated pulling them out so I had adult teeth growing behind baby teeth and they were terribly crooked and I had braces for years to fix that. Getting me to brush right was like pulling teeth (sorry, couldn't resist) and my gums would bleed if you looked at them funny. After I moved out, I didn't go to the dentist for years. I finally went back when Josh was a baby, had to get a deep cleaning and later a cavity filled. It was terrible. After that I started going regularly. This morning the hygenist said something I have never heard before: "You have a nice looking mouth." LOL! Finally at 31 I am doing a good job with my teeth! My mom will be so proud.

[missychrissy]

:hooray:

I can't say when the last time I went to the dentist was...it's embarrassing. But with our current pile of medical bills, I don't see it happening any time soon.

[Ky'sMom]

I also haven't been to the dentist in years. I actually just looked one up yesterday and will make an appointment next week sometime. We have pretty crappy dental insurance but I'm afraid that I may have the beginning (or worse) of gum disease so I am going to focus on dental health for my personal new year.

I pick a goal for my birthday instead of New Years since it is my personal new year. Usually it is not a resolution but something simple and easy. So this year it will be to go to the dentist every 6 months and get a deep scale cleaning and not worry about how much it cost. My birthday is not until April, but I like to get a head start.

Erin

[AmeriBrit]

For all that people can say about the NHS here in the UK, I love it for having regular health and dental care. Contrary to popular belief, the English do go to the dentist and encourage everyone to go every 6 months. For me, it's completely free now since I'm on maternity leave as well.

[daylilies]

We have great insurance through DH's work. It's one thing I'm really grateful for.

[The10Eels]

I had always done really well with my teeth... I got comments (from the SAME hygenist) every time I went to the dentist about how beautiful my teeth were, and if I had ever had braces...

After Charlie was born I went to the dentist to have an infection looked at, and I also had 3 cavities.. :(

[Cosmosmom]

I'm actually leaving work soon to go home and pick up DH and bring him to the dentist for a cleaning (and after we are going to pick up his car). I go for mine on Thursday. We do go every 6 months unless something comes up like I'm coughing too much and than it gets pushed back a little bit.
My mom was really big on going to the dentist....especially since she still had a few baby teeth in her 50's. And I don't know how they did it but my dad was laid off when I was 10...ended up at community college for two years and got something in computers...and than got a job making half of what he did and working much further from home with added gas expenses. And yet I got braces when I was 10 and had them until 13.

Cosmo could stand a cleaning twice a year too but she only goes once a year. She does NOT tolerate us brushing her teeth but I did find some breath treats for her that she likes and that don't have any liver (she's allergic to liver). Her cleanings are already $300 each time...plus I hate the thought of her going under anesthesia more than once a year.

[missychrissy]

For all that people can say about the NHS here in the UK, I love it for having regular health and dental care. Contrary to popular belief, the English do go to the dentist and encourage everyone to go every 6 months. For me, it's completely free now since I'm on maternity leave as well.
I'd sign up for a single payer system here in a heartbeat. I hate that most Americans are against it..they hear horror stories from abroad and turn a blind eye to our own problems and remain against it out of fear alone.

[The10Eels]

I'd sign up for a single payer system here in a heartbeat. I hate that most Americans are against it..they hear horror stories from abroad and turn a blind eye to our own problems and remain against it out of fear alone.

I truly believe people are so against many things because they fear it. or fear the unknown of how our society will adapt to it.

[Bridget]

It seems to me like the people who are against it are people who have never had to worry about not having it. Too often the assumption is made that if one does not have health insurance they are just too lazy to get a job.

[missychrissy]

I have good insurance...well, good by American standards. My dental is 80% covered...but that 20% on top of what I owe for medical stuff is too much.

I worry about it because even with 'good' insurance there are too many loopholes. I go to a local, large medical group and it's luck of the draw if each provider is a participating one with our insurance or not. That's the lab, radiology, ER or walk-in provider...the list of possibilities is endless. Given everything Jesi's been through with the mono and later the ovarian cysts, we were charged for people/services that I wasn't aware was happening at the time. I mean, they took her back for a sonogram...I guess I should have asked who was on call and if they participated with Healthnow.

And Bobbie's bill (what's triggered my latest vent) was just lab work at a place that I was certain was a participating provider but the lab work has to be paid out of pocket toward a deductible I didn't know we had. The only other time I've had to pay toward a deductible is when I saw an eye specialist (out of network) and when I took Conner to the walk-in and the only provider working was out-of-network. So was this lab that's affiliated with our in-network group out-of-network for some reason? How do I find out AT THE TIME OF SERVICE? The receptionists are clueless when I ask them. They have no idea what insurances their staff participates with.

[missychrissy]

I wouldn't care if everything I pay for Medicare, insurance premiums and copays went into a single payer system as long as I never had to see another bill. Ever. And I wouldn't give a rip if my share was more than my neighbor's. As it is, depending on where you live some people pay more for school taxes (as well as property taxes) than other areas. *shrug* It's no different imo.

[daylilies]

I was just not very nice to Josh. I took him to his music class and reminded him, no running, no kicking (he likes to put his hands down and kick his feet up) So he said okay and we got to class and he proceeded to run around before the class even started. And wouldn't stop. I warned him many times and we ended up leaving. I blew up at him in the car because I was so embarrassed and angry. There are babies in this class he kept running by and practically knocking over. Even the teacher asked him to stop and he wouldn't listen. I asked him if he wanted to go back to the class next week because if he wasn't going to listen to me or answer me, I wasn't going to take him back. He refused to respond. So I guess we're not going back. Yay for more free time at home! (not)

I need to find classes I can drop him off at because he doesn't behave like this when I'm not around, apparently.
I'm still not entirely convinced this is normal behavior. I can't imagine anyone less than a saint wanting to put up with this!

[demigraf]

Teeth and insurance - two sore subjects for me. :(

I confess I have nothing flattering about myself to report.

I was thiiiiiis close to inviting a woman who works on my floor to lunch today. She’s maybe a couple years older than me, so maybe 40, and one of the few people I’ve seen squirrel away food in the kitchen the way that I do. We’ve had a couple decent conversations about farmers markets and stuff we like to eat. But I lost my nerve after today, when she came into the office wearing a tight black turtleneck and a shiny belt over black bicycle shorts… over black striped pantyhose and black stilettos. And there was nothing ironic about the fashion statement she was trying to make from what I could tell. I overheard her telling another girl that she had asked herself if she could “pull it off” before she put it on this morning. :shame: I’m so ashamed of myself for making any sort of judgments based on what she’s wearing. However, I just can’t do it. I was afraid lunch with her would take on a creepy Robert Palmer video feeling after just a few minutes. I feel like an a-hole.

The other thing I’ve been grappling with is the realization that I am far too attached to my “stuff”. Here I am trying to pack up our house for the move in a couple of weeks, and I have mountains of things I do not need. Way more clothes than I will ever wear, more DVDs than I’ll have the time to watch, stacks of books I tell myself I’ll “get to”, 4 boxes of sewing projects, bags of beans and seeds I told myself I was going to sprout myself in mason jars for salads, cultures of things in the fridge I’m supposedly going to get back to use for fermenting beverages, this sad looking collection of over 60 varieties of epiphyllum cacti, weird pieces of jewelry and makeup and creams that I save as though I am ever going to wear jewelry and do my face on a regular basis or have any sort of skincare regimen. The list goes on. But I just could not bring myself to throw or give any of it away. The one thing I managed to toss was a 4 year old bag of Bob’s nonfat milk powder that I was going to use in a homemade ice cream recipe. Good for me.

I need to be talked into getting rid of a lot of my things. I actually did fill three 13 gallon trash bags of clothes for the thrift store, but I could have parted with so much more. With clothes, I know I hang onto way too many things because I still envision that one day, I’ll live permanently on a tropical island and flit around in gauzy, flowy garments and open-toed shoes.

Alright. I have a meeting to run off to. So that is all for now.

[daylilies]

I'm laughing imagining that woman's getup! So could she "pull it off" besides the fact that she looked like a Robert Palmer girl?

I keep way too much stuff too. I kept all my diaries, most of my stuffed animals, a bunch of scrapbooking stuff I haven't picked up in like 2 and a half years...it's bad. I just keep thinking, I'll regret it if I throw anything away. My mom used to be so strict about keeping my stuff neat that I threw away a lot of stuff I wish I'd kept.

[Bridget]

When I decided to move to Hawaii, I had SO MUCH STUFF. So much. I had a huge walk in closet with the most ridiculous amount of vintage/retro clothing you could imagine. My outfits looked like costumes. I actually still miss some items of clothing I gave away.
I got rid of everything but 2 suitcases worth of stuff. (I should note that all my photos and keepsakes I put at my parents, along with my quality winter clothing)
It was so hard to do but once I started I found it was incredibly liberating. My roommate and I put everything in the yard and had a yard sale. Then we took the money from that and bought a keg of beer, invited all of our friends over and sent everyone home with what was left of our stuff. :laugh:

I felt so light and free when I got on that plane. It was awesome.

[Gwenn]

I sent them both an email last night letting them know what was taking so long. Dad wrote and said to just send him a bill :P I don't even know what to charge. Like I said, I wouldn't charge my father anything.

So, you wouldn't charge your dad at all but you'd charge her a ton ... so just divide what you want to charge her in half and it's probably a fair price! :)


mandy - I'm sorry it's so hard to be separated from your dh. Do you have any idea wheny ou'll be together next?

I can't talk about specific travel dates (which is good because I don't have them anyway) but he will be back in AZ in mid-April some time. He'll be in the US sooner than that but I can't say when. It's getting sooner!


Work is another joy...trying to get proprietary software to run on Windows 7 that was written for XP. Compatibility Mode is failing me because it's written by some doofus at Cornell. They're so slow about updating their software.

We still use XP at work and I really wish they would update. That and this stupid home-made program they are constantly developing for our internal special ed documents.

Question for those of you in the computer industry - is it really too much to ask that the developers of our home-made program include the capability to use specialized characters (International Phonetical Alphabet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Phonetic_Alphabet)) which is standard in my profession and we all use when writing pencil and paper? When working with speech sounds the ability to write the specific sounds in a specific way is necessary but the computer programmer won't do it because it isn't "parent-friendly." Which I think means she doesn't want to be bothered. It's easy to make parent friendly by just including sample words. 6 paragraphs discussing (but not explaining the meaning or relevance of) normative information and standardization samples, which she is including in the evaluation report template without questioning, is the most non-parent friendly thing I can imagine.


And yeah either way I'm staying on WW and trying to lose weight. We would still keep trying in terms of not preventing.....but we wouldn't go through with medical intervention if the money was going towards adoption.

This makes the most sense to me. Good luck, whatever happens!


:hooray:

I can't say when the last time I went to the dentist was...it's embarrassing. But with our current pile of medical bills, I don't see it happening any time soon.

Yikes, me too. I know I haven't been to the dentist since I turned 25 and was dropped from my parents insurance. I have had private dental insurance for 4 years now and I also qualify for Tricare at the moment, and I still am terrified to go see the dentist because I hate my teeth so much. I wore braces for 5 years and my teeth were still crooked when they were removed. My teeth are the one thing I am most embarrassed of/sensitive about. Ick.


I was thiiiiiis close to inviting a woman who works on my floor to lunch today. She’s maybe a couple years older than me, so maybe 40, and one of the few people I’ve seen squirrel away food in the kitchen the way that I do. We’ve had a couple decent conversations about farmers markets and stuff we like to eat. But I lost my nerve after today, when she came into the office wearing a tight black turtleneck and a shiny belt over black bicycle shorts… over black striped pantyhose and black stilettos. And there was nothing ironic about the fashion statement she was trying to make from what I could tell. I overheard her telling another girl that she had asked herself if she could “pull it off” before she put it on this morning. :shame: I’m so ashamed of myself for making any sort of judgments based on what she’s wearing. However, I just can’t do it. I was afraid lunch with her would take on a creepy Robert Palmer video feeling after just a few minutes. I feel like an a-hole.

The other thing I’ve been grappling with is the realization that I am far too attached to my “stuff”. Here I am trying to pack up our house for the move in a couple of weeks, and I have mountains of things I do not need. Way more clothes than I will ever wear, more DVDs than I’ll have the time to watch, stacks of books I tell myself I’ll “get to”, 4 boxes of sewing projects, bags of beans and seeds I told myself I was going to sprout myself in mason jars for salads, cultures of things in the fridge I’m supposedly going to get back to use for fermenting beverages, this sad looking collection of over 60 varieties of epiphyllum cacti, weird pieces of jewelry and makeup and creams that I save as though I am ever going to wear jewelry and do my face on a regular basis or have any sort of skincare regimen. The list goes on. But I just could not bring myself to throw or give any of it away. The one thing I managed to toss was a 4 year old bag of Bob’s nonfat milk powder that I was going to use in a homemade ice cream recipe. Good for me.

I need to be talked into getting rid of a lot of my things. I actually did fill three 13 gallon trash bags of clothes for the thrift store, but I could have parted with so much more. With clothes, I know I hang onto way too many things because I still envision that one day, I’ll live permanently on a tropical island and flit around in gauzy, flowy garments and open-toed shoes.

Alright. I have a meeting to run off to. So that is all for now.

I don't think I would have invited the woman out, either. And I'm a pack-rat, too. DH is a hoarder, so we're a bad combination.

I always love your stories!

[missychrissy]

:hugs: Kate, it sounds like you both had a bad day. I've had those moments with Conner too. And Sydney....although it's been a few years since Sydney has done it so there's hope.

Mandy, I don't think it's too much to ask but I wonder if the programmer is just lazy. ??

We've had proprietary stuff written here that all the admins have to use for either faculty or student tracking that was only compatible with IE 6. They just got around to making it compatible with IE 8. Talk about security risks! Those computers were also used to access things on the world wide web and Microsoft hasn't supported IE 6 in a very, very long time. Being responsible for our network's security, that was a real thorn in my side. I almost think they only 'allowed' IE 8 because it has better backwards compatibility than IE 7 did.

[daylilies]

Oh! I forgot to tell the Dunkin Donuts fiasco! It's another long story...basically, he was completely confusing. LOL
We had a coupon for an egg sandwich so I was going to take him (I know, it's a terrible frozen fake egg thing, but this is a very rare occasion.) Well for some reason he thought he was getting a donut even though I said this morning we weren't getting donuts and he said that's okay! The kid was so excited for DD that after school he came up and hugged me and didn't even want to go to the library first. (This is a big deal) Then he got to the place and was so disappointed in his sandwich he just deflated. But he ended up eating most of it...after I was all ready to go and was getting his coat on, he pushed me away and started eating. I was so confused. It was blazing hot in there, and he refused to take his coat off, then he wanted to take the little bit he had left home, and when we got home he said "I don't want it." Where is the head exploding smiley?

[Cosmosmom]

I'd sign up for a single payer system here in a heartbeat. I hate that most Americans are against it..they hear horror stories from abroad and turn a blind eye to our own problems and remain against it out of fear alone.


The funny part is a LOT of our research comes from British journals....I'm not even in the huge research library (have access to one though I'm a smaller hospital one)....and even I have a number of journals from the UK...since I had to learn different spellings for already difficult terms, they are easy to spot. The UK, many European and especially Australia are way ahead too in terms of evidence based medicine and evidence based practice. It is kind of surprising how much of medicine differs from place to place and the reasoning for doing something a certain is "because that is how we have always done it". For some things there is a ton of research....for others, nothing much out there.

[missychrissy]

I swear we need to hang out. Conner does that sort of thing too. At the dr's he refused to take his coat off even though it was hot. I thought it was because he was afraid of getting his shots, but when he got uber warm he did ask for it off. Then when we were getting ready to leave (and after getting his vaxs, he was ready to leave!) he refused to put his coat on. I had to pretend not to care and said, "Ok, let me know when you're ready to get your coat on so we can go." and I sat down and started reading a magazine. That worked that time, but sometimes he's stubborn and it takes a while. I try to avoid 'fighting' with him as much as possible.

Conner is also very finicky about eating warm food. Like his dinner has to feel cold before he'll eat it. We always make his plate and put it in the fridge to cool off for him. Tonight he was bugging for it and we stalled him as long as we could, knowing it'd be too warm. After a while Rich got it and tested it and it was a normally acceptable temperature, and Conner suddenly decided he wasn't hungry. So back in the fridge it went.

I don't know why he does that, but it happens. As much as possible I simply try not to make things an issue if they don't have to be. I'm not very strict on making the kids eat when supper is ready. They all eat whenever they're hungry.

[Cosmosmom]

It seems to me like the people who are against it are people who have never had to worry about not having it. Too often the assumption is made that if one does not have health insurance they are just too lazy to get a job.

it is stupidity too....I have it now, but there is always in the back of my head what if I lost my job. I would be SOL. thank god WI has a high risk pool for my sister....she tried to buy insurance and she has a job (just no benefits)...but was denied because she had previous ear surgery YEARS and YEARS ago, like more than 7 or 8 years ago.

[missychrissy]

The funny part is a LOT of our research comes from British journals....I'm not even in the huge research library (have access to one though I'm a smaller hospital one)....and even I have a number of journals from the UK...since I had to learn different spellings for already difficult terms, they are easy to spot. The UK, many European and especially Australia are way ahead too in terms of evidence based medicine and evidence based practice. It is kind of surprising how much of medicine differs from place to place and the reasoning for doing something a certain is "because that is how we have always done it". For some things there is a ton of research....for others, nothing much out there.

I was involved in a heated debate on another forum about health care. I made a comment about our current system being far from as great as people are led to believe it is and even mentioned the higher rates of infant mortality, heart disease and stroke that we have compared with other nations. This was one of the responses I got,


Oh come on Chrissy, really? Far from an excellent place for healthcare? You do realize how ungrateful that sounds, right? We are so blessed to live in a country where our health bills are high because of the excellent technology we have to keep people alive. We're talking about accessibility here, not technology and efficiency. We have incredible healthcare options, they're just not open to everyone.

:laugh: Yes, I'm ungrateful because our sub-par health care isn't open to everyone. I expect more.

[missychrissy]

I think my favorite part is how we're blessed to have such incredibly high medical bills. :lol: Puh-leeze.

You know I can vent about this for days and days. *sigh* I wish we could do something about it.

[Cosmosmom]

I think that sometimes it is hard for programmers to deal with specific professional requirements. I know that they try really hard to get IT people in bigger libraries who have the MLIS degree also. Asking for something to be done in a way that makes sense to us, request forms, current awareness, circulation stuff, ILL stuff....doesn't always seem to click with the programmers.
I'm so thankful that we don't have to deal with that since we are a 3 person hospital library and the parent major research library is 2 hours away and they have a big staff to deal with it. :)


I'm very attached to my stuff. I'm good about tossing some things and DH hates clutter so he's pretty big on not bringing something new home until I know that I'm really going to use it, I know it has a place and I really really want it. Result is that I tend to REALLY be attached to whatever I finally decided on since I research most purchases a while before getting. Took over two months to get a new flat iron!
Clothes...well I have changed sizes a lot over the past 6 years...losing a LOT of weight and than gaining back 30-35% of that. So I have a lot of stuff in different sizes. I would like to get into my smaller sizes again...would have to steal from my sister since she lost weight and I gave some things to her with the idea that I would like to get them back when I need them...and hopefully she would have lost even more and wouldn't need them either.

[Cosmosmom]

Yeah we do have SOME really great healthcare institutions....and I would say that I feel lucky since I work at one of them. And even still i have a deductible and 20% coinsurance.

There are some interesting ideas out there about how to help bring costs down....one issue is how docs are paid, the sicker you are, the more tests that are done, the more money is made....is screwed up. I know mine place has been really pushing for pay based on quality of care, not quantity of care.
there is also the idea of a medical home...I don't know much about it yet but something along the ideas getting people into primary care and getting things under control before they spiral.
electronic medical records are really helpful. So last year I saw a derm, gyn, and endocrine doc....trying to see if I might have PCOS. It was great that each one could pull up my labs and see what had been done recently so we didn't have to run say 4 TSH's checking my thyroid.

[daylilies]

I guess I'm stuck on what should and shouldn't be an issue. I know they say pick your battles but I just never know what battles to pick. Everything gets on my nerves lately. Like wasting food, I don't like that. Having a discussion in which I thought he understood what he was getting at Dunkin and then finding out he wanted a donut? There was a picture of the egg sandwich on the coupon and everything. I even said he wasn't getting a donut. I just don't know where communication broke down on that one. I think I just suck at this.

[daylilies]

I called my mom tonight and found out her boyfriend of quite a few years now didn't do anything for her for Valentines day :ohno:
I'm really confused and angry for her. He's an incredibly sweet guy (from what I see, anyway) and I don't know how he dropped the ball on that one. He told her he was going to get something for her on Thursday but he had to work late. So why not pick up some last minute flowers or chocolate at least?

[missychrissy]

Everyone has different ideals on what is acceptable or not when it comes to their kids. I think the key is consistency, but I know that's nearly impossible to accomplish when every little thing is getting to you.

As for changing his mind, imo that's not very surprising. I went into Dunkin Donuts Saturday with the intention of buying a coffee and walked out with a hot chocolate instead (hello calories!). It happens, people change their minds. 4-year-olds are no exception.

I'm not criticizing but trying to use an example...I wouldn't take Conner to McDonalds and expect him to only choose the apple slices once we were there. I'm pretty sure he'd want french fries, no matter what we discussed ahead of time. :)

As for valentines day, I really don't understand why people get disappointed, hurt or even angry if they don't get something. Maybe it's because we didn't really do much when I was growing up, but I don't expect anything from Rich...and I generally don't get anything. And that's ok. I'm more worried about how things are throughout the rest of the year. A lack of a v-day gift does not in any way indicate a lack of appreciation or love for me. At least, that's how I feel about it. It was wonderful when he did send me something though. :D

[missychrissy]

Oh, and Kate I wanted to say you absolutely do not suck at this. I didn't feel certain of anything when I went through it the first time. I thought my kids were out of control and I was an absolute failure at times. If Jesi weren't an 'oops' I likely wouldn't have had any more just because I was so convinced in my utter lack of ability to be a good mother.

A smarter, older woman with adult children at the time told me that good mothers always doubt themselves. It's the ones that are certain they're perfect that are the worst in reality. I took her words to heart and kept reminding myself of that every time I thought I was doing it all wrong.

[daylilies]

Thanks Chrissy :) I'm just afraid one of the times I snap at him I'm really going to damage him or something. I keep telling myself I have to shape up before my irritability becomes his memories, but I think we're already there. :(
I think Valentine's day is important to a lot of women...and just for that reason men should honor it even if they don't get it. That's just what I think. I admire your ability to not care but I'd be really upset if DH forgot. (I mean how can you forget, with all the commercials, and the decorations in every store you go, the cards, the candy....)

[Cosmosmom]

A smarter, older woman with adult children at the time told me that good mothers always doubt themselves. It's the ones that are certain they're perfect that are the worst in reality. I took her words to heart and kept reminding myself of that every time I thought I was doing it all wrong.

That is exactly what I tell DH....he is scared to be a dad even though he wants a kid and worries a lot about not being a good enough dad (his own dad sucks and his stepdad sucked even more). I tell that because he cares enough to actually worry about it, just shows that he will be a good dad. He won't be perfect because no parent is....but he really cares which is exactly what a child needs, someone who really cares about them.

[Cosmosmom]

I didn't get anything for Valentines day either. I didn't want anything. We usually do not do anything for it....I don't like being told that just because it's 2-14 that we have to be romantic. I did like it when we were first dating because it's cool at first when you actually have a boyfriend for the date. But now, after 13 years, I would much rather have romance happen as a surprise or on our timetable, not Hallmarks.

I do however like and expect at least a card for our anniversary and my birthday.

[demigraf]

Question for those of you in the computer industry - is it really too much to ask that the developers of our home-made program include the capability to use specialized characters (International Phonetical Alphabet (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Phonetic_Alphabet)) which is standard in my profession and we all use when writing pencil and paper? When working with speech sounds the ability to write the specific sounds in a specific way is necessary but the computer programmer won't do it because it isn't "parent-friendly." Which I think means she doesn't want to be bothered. It's easy to make parent friendly by just including sample words. 6 paragraphs discussing (but not explaining the meaning or relevance of) normative information and standardization samples, which she is including in the evaluation report template without questioning, is the most non-parent friendly thing I can imagine.
...
I always love your stories!

Thanks, Mandy. :)

Yes, that character support is possible, and probably not difficult to implement. Anything that's logical is possible, programmatically. It's just a matter of having the people who control the budget be ok with scrapping what you use and paying for the revision. It's sort of the equivalent of doing a home remodel. If it's as simple and easy as a new coat of paint, people will usually pay for it. But if it means stripping down the walls to the framing and maybe going without electricity and internet for 5 months or having to decide between an electric garage door opener and a kitchen sink (your software rewrite being the door opener), they won't go for it.

In any case, too large a percentage of coding projects end up this way: :laugh:


http://i419.photobucket.com/albums/pp276/bellycatessin/photo-29.jpg

[demigraf]

ITA with that smarter, older woman, chrissy. :thumbsup:

[demigraf]

On single payor (payer?) healthcare, I never thought I'd hear myself write this, but "Go, Justin Bieber!" I just read that he gave our US system a verbal trouncing in this issue of Rolling Stone. "You guys are evil" he says. And he uses an extremely simple example in the quote I read that states the problem pretty clearly. I hope legions of teenyboppers take note! (altho' DH & I reserve the right to call him "Beebler" because it's just more fun to say that way).

I confess this guy on the train right now is listening to his headphones too loudly, but I forgive him because he looks like Jon Stewart. In fact, I'm kinda staring at him out of the corner of my eye. He's kinda hot.

[AmeriBrit]

LOL, Myles. Jon Stewart.

The Beebler is Canadian, right? I've seen him on TV lately and he reminds me of Blanche from The Golden Girls with his hair do.

[demigraf]

Blanche - LOL! I loves me some Golden Girls (or "Holden Girks" as I first mistyped it)! It was a sad day when I woke up and finally admitted to myself that I was never going to move to Miami and be best friends with Bea Arthur. RIP.

[Cosmosmom]

I love Golden Girls too! So funny. I have them on pretty much every night before bed.

I thought Bieber was Beaver for the longest time. LOL

[stash]

OMG myles I'm stealing that cartoon...

[Cosmosmom]

I HATE our new governor. He is basically for everything that I'm against. He's really gunning for the teachers right now....I mean really teachers? They of course make so much money to begin with. So many walked out today in Madison they had to cancel school. Students are walking out of classes all across the state today to protest and support their teachers.

[Ky'sMom]

I think my favorite part is how we're blessed to have such incredibly high medical bills. :lol: Puh-leeze.



Just had to :laugh: at that one too. LOL, that person is nuts!


It seems to me like the people who are against it are people who have never had to worry about not having it. Too often the assumption is made that if one does not have health insurance they are just too lazy to get a job.

I used to think this as well until recently. I meet quite a few people IRL and online who are actually on medicaid and/or medicare and are against a universal system, which reeks of hypocrisy IMO. They get REALLY angry, like wanting to fight angry if you bring up that they are on a government system too. But I guess, like you said, they don't have to worry about not having it or worry about paying for it (since we all pay for it right now, I actually wish everyone could be on Medicaid), but their whole attitude makes me want to :eyebrow: and roll my eyes at them. They are just ridiculous IMO. Especially their rants about the cost of "Obamacare" like that is even anything close to universal healthcare. It really irks me.
People have been irking me a lot lately. Even some things I read here on APA. I am horrified that I may be becoming a miserly woman or something. But....eh....can't do much about that. But it worries me. My great great grandmother was REALLY grumpy lady. I used to think she was hilarious because she would just say anything she wanted to say and I used to wish I had the gall to do it. Now I actually do say really blunt things to people more often but I am worried about getting a frowny face like she used to have. Sorry for making you partake in my random thought of the day. But I really don't want to have a frowny old lady face, the one where they stick out their lip and just look very unflattering, which is how my great great grandmother used to look.

Erin

[Bridget]

:laugh: Erin, i think you're awesome and in almost every thread on here i agree with what you say just about word for word.
I think you should be just like your great great grandmother except make yourself smile. :winks: Because as far as I'm concerned your views are right on and you should shout them from the rooftops.

[missychrissy]

Thanks Chrissy :) I'm just afraid one of the times I snap at him I'm really going to damage him or something. I keep telling myself I have to shape up before my irritability becomes his memories, but I think we're already there. :(
I think Valentine's day is important to a lot of women...and just for that reason men should honor it even if they don't get it. That's just what I think. I admire your ability to not care but I'd be really upset if DH forgot. (I mean how can you forget, with all the commercials, and the decorations in every store you go, the cards, the candy....)

He'll have happy memories as well, I promise. Bobbie & Jessica's childhood wasn't anything like Conner's for many reasons, and they turned out ok. Sure they have stuff going on, but no adolescent is immune no matter what. And they have very happy memories.

My Rich doesn't forget...it's just not a priority for either of us. I could just as easily get him something but I don't. I personally think it should be a choice, not an expectation. If I 'ordered' him to get me something, it would lose meaning, if that makes sense.


Thanks, Mandy. :)

Yes, that character support is possible, and probably not difficult to implement. Anything that's logical is possible, programmatically. It's just a matter of having the people who control the budget be ok with scrapping what you use and paying for the revision. It's sort of the equivalent of doing a home remodel. If it's as simple and easy as a new coat of paint, people will usually pay for it. But if it means stripping down the walls to the framing and maybe going without electricity and internet for 5 months or having to decide between an electric garage door opener and a kitchen sink (your software rewrite being the door opener), they won't go for it.

In any case, too large a percentage of coding projects end up this way: :laugh:


http://i419.photobucket.com/albums/pp276/bellycatessin/photo-29.jpg

omg-I'm stealing this!!


I confess this guy on the train right now is listening to his headphones too loudly, but I forgive him because he looks like Jon Stewart. In fact, I'm kinda staring at him out of the corner of my eye. He's kinda hot.

I'd forgive him too :wub:


:laugh: Erin, i think you're awesome and in almost every thread on here i agree with what you say just about word for word.
I think you should be just like your great great grandmother except make yourself smile. :winks: Because as far as I'm concerned your views are right on and you should shout them from the rooftops.
ita with everything Bridget said Erin!!

I have such a stomachache it's not even funny. I didn't know if I was going to throw up or have issues the other way, but neither happened. I had overwhelming waves of nausea, but nothing has transpired. My stomach hurts so bad though I can't even stand upright.

I do not have sick time to waste. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

[Bridget]

:hugs:Chrissy
I fired my sub today.
Sawyer is still not gaining weight.

Mother puck.:ohno:

[daylilies]

I'm so sorry Bridget :( I wish I could help but I know nothing about breastfeeding :(

[missychrissy]

:( How'd that go Bridget? Are you going to look for a replacement?

I wish I had advice about breastfeeding. :(

[Gwenn]

Myles, I love that cartoon! :)

Erin, I love anything you have to say, frowny face or no. My mother has said more than once she is becoming more vocal as she gets older and now that she's in her 70's she doesn't worry about how people think of her.

Bridget, I'm glad the sub got what was coming to her, but I worry that you're going to make this work. I know you'll make it work, but take care of yourself. And :hugs: to Sawyer.

I heard from DH this morning! :wub: Made my week.

[daylilies]

Yay Gwenn!

[stash]

Bridget, do you cosleep and night nurse? Is he losing or just not gaining?

[The10Eels]

I confess I am about to quit my job.. my dept manager approached me about stepping up into her position if she were to leave.

my store manager approached me monday night and told me she knew about that conversation and was really upset with my dept manager because it was not her place to talk to me about that. then went on about how she thinks I would make an amazing manager, but she is worried about my school schedule.. (only two days a week mind you....)

I overheard one of her interviews today, and it was for the department manager position.. and she took her to the office which means she was hired.

EFF this place...

[Bridget]

Bridget, do you cosleep and night nurse? Is he losing or just not gaining?
Yes and yes. I don't let him go longer than 3 hours. He isn't losing. Gained 1 oz 3 days ago and is 2oz below birth weight.

[3andMe]

Bridget, I read an article not too long ago written by a mom whose baby wasn't gaining and she was encouraged to supplement but she didn't and it ended up that the baby had an infection she was fighting off and the milk was probably the most helpful thing she could have gotten. I was debating bringing that up with you because heck, it's all a load of hooey if it's not your baby and infection sounds scary and I'm not sure how true it is. She said the infection was causing her baby to burn a lot more calories than expected. Anyway, because of that article I would agree with the plan for bloodwork and testing. I wish I had more helpful advice. I know this has to be incredibly worrisome for you.

And man, I wish I could come kick some substitute *** for you. How DARE she be less than reliable and perfect!

[missychrissy]

Yay Mandy for hearing from DH.

Boo Ashley about your job. :( That's rotten.

[demigraf]

Erin, I guess consider it a right of old age that you can be as grumpy as you want to be. And scanning my brain for the faces of old people I can recall, I'd say I prefer a grump over smug or holier-than-thou any day. Then again, I suspect old age gives you a right to be all of those things. I don't find you blunt. I actually think of you as very sweet and well-reasoned. I wish there were more ladies on APA like you. F'real.

Bridget, I'm so sorry that your sub didn't work out. I remember how suitable she sounded when you first found her. How could you have known? Anyway, I hope there's a workaround that's easy in your situation. You simply don't need this at the moment. As for Sawyer, I'll say - with caveats - what might be unpopular ... although I somehow managed to keep B @ the boob 97% of the time until he started solids, I don't think supplementation is a bad word - not when there's a documented reason your baby is unable to thrive at the breast. I don't know what weight gain is necessarily an indicator of, and luckily I was never put in a position where I had to learn in depth, but if weight gain worries you, try to press your doctor for specifics if s/he's pushing you to supplement. You want to make sure what exactly is at stake before you make the choice. I know it's very important to you to go for 100% booby, and now there's mounting evidence about how 22 immunological agents in BM lose their effectiveness with even the introduction of water (Disclosure: I did supplement as early as 1 month). So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm the type of person who maybe at one time would have taken her doctor's alarm bells at face value without verifying what exactly what the risks were. Don't be like me. Maybe s/he's just being cautious, yet lazy. Like lack of weight gain could only be a real cause for concern 50% of the time, but s/he says worry all of the time just to avoid a lawsuit. And if you do end up supplementing because your doc gives you a satisfactory reason that you should, please don't feel bad about it. It's clear you tried your best and I hope the kneejerk reactions of some the second anyone says "formula" won't affect your self-perception as the incredible mom you are..

[daylilies]

Sorry about your job Ash :(
I figured out why you all think I'm so sweet :P You all bring out the best in me. My family, not so much. That makes me sad. We had a good day though, I forget who recommended it to me but I am doing the thing with little polished rocks in a small vase to reward good behavior--he got two today for leaving nicely at the library and leaving Chuck E Cheese nicely too. Whenever he started to fly off the handle, I'd remind him about the vase and he'd say "Oh yeah!" and stop fussing. When we get 10 rocks, I'll take him to get a $1 toy.

[Cosmosmom]

:laugh: Erin, i think you're awesome and in almost every thread on here i agree with what you say just about word for word.
I think you should be just like your great great grandmother except make yourself smile. :winks: Because as far as I'm concerned your views are right on and you should shout them from the rooftops.


double like....You're posts remind me of my mom...and the kind of mom I want to be.

plus you are a pretty lady Erin so smile some. :)

[missychrissy]

That's great Kate! I'm so glad something has seemed to work for him.

[Cosmosmom]

Hope you feel better Chrissy!

Yeah for hearing from DH Mandy!

Sorry about the job Ashley. :(

:hugs: Bridget. I hope you get some answers soon. I wish I had some advice and could help but I haven't done all that much looking into nursing....I kind of always thought maybe i would try but figured I would just use formula.

Kate that is great about the rocks....maybe some reminding and a reward will do the trick. I mean I don't always want to behave right myself....but I do certain things because I don't want the consequence (like not speeding...don't want to get a ticket....go to work when I don't want to and would rather sleep in because well I do want the money). and at 32 yrs old, I have logic and reasoning and experience in life on my side.

[Cosmosmom]

speaking of old ladies.....I had to send this to my mom today http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/41353544/ns/health-aging/

seems that there is a new group of mean girls in town and bullying....seniors. My mom is the manager of a senior housing complex....I don't know how she deals with them, running a college dorm would be easier. She said she printed this off and does see this and puts her foot down stopping it when she can.

[Cosmosmom]

So I'm officially starting on the paperwork....first hurdle...well second after the religion/christian stress I guess is references. Hard to come up with three (got two) that are not related to us. And knows both of us. Either people generally know one of us and not the other much....or they are related to us. We tend to spend so much of our time with family and are really closest to my MIL and my sister.

[missychrissy]

I think bullying goes on all the time, even in the work place. Some places are better than others, but there are always those who think they're better than everyone else and try to control the situation they're in, demean those around them, and generally act nasty. Church is a classic place that comes to mind :P

It's sad to think of our elders going to a retirement community and feeling shunned and left out. Part of what's supposed to be appealing is that they can live out their sunset years enjoying an active social life.

I don't know what the solution is to bullying...public humiliation for those that participate? Kinda hard to do because while there may be just 1 that is really vocal and the ring leader of the group, they generally have a following that actually encourages the bad behavior. If the one that was the culprit suffered for their actions, it wouldn't happen. Society is to blame for tolerating it imo.

[girlwonder]

I'm sorry, Bridget.



Mother puck.:ohno:

I started saying "Motherhugger" as a sort of joke when J was little and now I say it all the time.:laugh: Really must stop that.