Secular Confessions

[daylilies]

Haha yes, enjoy it now :)

[Suja]

Probably more like ten. Which will be noon your time!


*sniff* Mandy doesn't love us :boohoo::boohoo::boohoo::boohoo:



In my defense, if I'm going to have triplets I'd better sleep all I can now!

True, dat.

[AbbeysMom]

Maybe tomorrow am. So long as you all remember I'm not on east coast time. ;)

So much hope for you! :fingerscrossed: And yay for boob pain and acne! :hooray:

[raspberry]

Mandy, woohoo!!!. In the 1st trimester my face brokeout terribly, it can be a sign for sure.

kate, I love German Shepherds, we had one growing up. My folks got her when I was 6 years old and she was the best dog ever ever. So loving to our family,and a very good watch dog too. When I was little I played dress up with my pets, I put little dresses on my cat, and our Cocker Spaniel, but the only thing that fit our big old Shepherd was my dad's sweatshirts. My sweet Shepherd would sit in the garage panting, while I taught school to my "students". She was the best dog. But they shed like crazy. I am talking tumbleweeds blowing through your house. My niece has one now, and I see GS's from the oppposite side now. The dog is crazy protective of my niece, so he has to be put away when I come over with Gilly. GS have a loud, I mean business bark-there is a reason they are trained as police dogs. He has barked at Gilly before and made him cry, so we have to put him away. And GS need a lot of exercise or agility training. Something to keep them busy.

Have you looked at the Irish Terrier? My neighbor has one and she is the cutest, friendliest dog. Gilly just loves her, she's friendly, medium sized and sheds very little. Living in Florida the shedding aspect is important to me, maybe not to you though.

So glad to hear about the SGK. We were watching the news and I told dh all about it, he had to listen to me go on and on about it.

I definitely agree with Hospice getting my support. Our local Hospice was incredible with my mom. The staff was so caring, it takes a special person to work at Hospice.

[demigraf]

Mandy , :hugs:

Shelley, that hospice must have been a great comfort to you and your family at a sad time. Good on them!

[daylilies]

Yeah, we've always had cats so we already have cat hair everywhere. What's a little dog hair? LOL

I just googled Irish Terrier. They are cute!
My mom thinks we should get a Portuguese water dog because she says they don't shed and so they don't cause allergies. But we don't know anyone who's allergic to dogs, so I don't really see why that matters. They are awfully cute though.

I guess I'm just intimidated because everyone says dogs are so much work. I'm used to cats, which are no work at all. But I mean, every little boy is entitled to a puppy, aren't they? :laugh:

Mandy, it's 11:30 here, woman!

[missychrissy]

Too little, too late here as well. I am sending my money elsewhere.

Agreed. They've left a horrible, bitter taste in my mouth after this stunt.


:hi: For my stalkers, today's primary symptom is boob pain.


I have never been so happy to hear about boob pain.

I was going to say the exact same thing! :hooray:

Kate, puppies are a lot of work. I'll never have another one again because I just don't want to go through it ever, ever again. If we're ever in the market for a dog, it will be an adult. At least 2, preferably older. It's not like they can't learn and I think it's easier to determine their temperament when they're older. Black/golden labs have got to be about the best family dog, but I really wouldn't choose based on breed. I'd consider any dog.

We have a Shelty and he does bark more often than my maltipoo. We got him because the neighbors complained about him barking all the time at my brother-in-law's house and they even got ticketed twice for it. I don't know if it's because we live in the country or what, but I don't see his barking as that much of a problem. He only gets excited if someone pulls in our driveway or if a motorcycle goes by. Or a bicycle. :P But it's very short lived barking. Either the neighbors were real asses, or being out of the city calmed him down. Either way, I love him to pieces. :wub:

[Gwenn]

I tested. Evap line, I think. There was no color but I could definitely see a "line." It may just be too early...

And boob pain is still ongoing.

[Ky'sMom]

I came on here to see if you got a line.

I am like sooooooo excited for you Mandy and IMO a line is a line!!

Are you going to do a digital?

Erin

[Ky'sMom]

Did you take a pic of the test? I wanna see!

Erin

[Gwenn]

No, I didn't take a picture. It looks negative. I could only see some white when I held it up to the sun at a certain angle. No pink at all. A picture would definitely look negative.

[daylilies]

It could be too early! When do you think you'll test again?

[Gwenn]

The doctor said to call Monday and they would put in an order for a blood test if I didn't have AF. That's only two days from now. I think I'm just going to wait for the blood test.

[daylilies]

That's what I'd do too. Fingers crossed!

[Cosmosmom]

Mandy do you normally get boob pain? Sounds like a good sign!

Kate, as much complaining as I have been doing about a puppy, I have done it twice and I would do it again. And 100% plan on doing a puppy class....and try to find one that they will let you bring Josh. We had whole families at ours and they really want to get the kids on board with the training. And just know you are in for a few months of hard work. But it doesn't last as long as a human baby.

Just this morning I was snuggling Molly and said to DH that it seemed like the past few days she isn't biting as much. She will be 19 weeks tomorrow.

I don't know anything about cats but dogs are a lot of work. But they are worth it and putting in the work gets you a great family member. Cosmo hasn't been work for years now....really it's just that first year or slightly more that is the most work.

Some ideas might be to take Josh to a local dog show and meet many breeds, see if there is a local doggie daycare or school and talk to them about specific breeds. There is no such thing as a hypoallergenic dog. Some people react to some breeds more than others.

Hmmm, have you looked at a Brittnay Spaniel? Active, smart and easy to train and good family dogs but are a medium size.

[Suja]

Mandy, we'll just move the vigil to Monday.

I wouldn't recommend a Brittany for a novice dog owner, unless they are very, very active. A lot of the hunting breed dogs need massive amounts of exercise.

[daylilies]

I'm not active but Josh is. LOL We have a nice fenced in yard and I could see all of us out there playing but I'd be the one throwing the ball and I picture Josh and the dog having races to get to it first.
I appreciate all your advice on dogs. I hope to talk to DH later and try to get him psyched up for looking for an older dog on petfinder. If we find we like having a dog in general then maybe someday we'll go the puppy route but right now I'm not sure I have it in me to raise a puppy.


I have to brag about Josh for a second. We went to Target to pick up a few things. DH is not feeling well today so he stayed home. I told Josh he could get a small toy at Target and instead he chose to get a set of heart shaped measuring spoons and a box of brownie mix to make for DH. :wub:

[missychrissy]

:fingerscrossed: Mandy!!

:wub: Josh is such a darling!!

[3andMe]

Mandy, I never got positive tests until after AF was due, except I think with the twins it might have been just before. Hoping and hoping and hoping for you!!!!!!!

What a sweetie Josh is.

[AmeriBrit]

Fingers still crossed for you, Mandy. Good luck for Monday!

Josh is such a sweety, Kate!

[AmeriBrit]

Fingers still crossed for you, Mandy. Good luck for Monday!

Josh is such a sweety, Kate!

[daylilies]

So after the brownies cooled he wanted to write a message on them in icing. He said "Dear Dad I hope you feel better soon, Love Joshua" I told him that was a bit long to fit on the brownies and I told him "Get well soon" was the customary message you give to sick people. He seemed okay with that.

[Bridget]

That is so cute and wonderful that Josh is thinking so much about his dad. See, you're doing something right!

Yesterday my bff came over. Her oldest (6) is handful. I blame his dad (her jerk husband). He uses intimidation to discipline the kids. So the boy walks around like he is angry and he tries to be really intimidating to Kai. I walked into my kitchen to see the boy with his fists clenched, towering over Kai in a very aggressive manner. Kai was sort of cowering away from him. This was after a half dozen times of either one of my kids or his little sister coming to tell us something he had done or said that made them sad. I told Kai to go in the other room with my friend and I knelt down in front of her son and told him to look at my eyes. I used my sternest voice and said, "You listen very carefully to me. This attitude that you are walking around my house with and this angry face that you have on it stops now. This behavior is not allowed at my house. You have been here before. Do you remember my rules?" He nodded. I said, "Turn around. Go downstairs into my closet. Look in there until you find something that is interesting to you and bring it to me. Do not go in my laundry room. Do not break anything. (He had already broken our baby gate, knocked a painting off the wall, tore down the canopy I have hanging over our play kitchen.) Do you understand?"
He said yes and went down and found a magnet kit and brought it to me. Would you believe he was practically perfect the rest of the time here? It's like he craves limits. I love him but I'll be danged if I let anyone bully my Kai.

[missychrissy]

Kate, that is just awesome about Josh. What a sweetheart :wub:

Bridget, I feel bad for the boy that he's raised in an environment and doesn't know any better, but you handled it perfectly. I hate, hate, hate 'talking to' other people's kids but occasions have warranted it and I've found the same thing to be true no matter how old the kid is. If you're direct, clear, and firm they're generally ok and almost relieved.

There are two clear exceptions that I can recall. At Bobbie's 17th bday party one of her friends shoved Conner from the couch to the floor. I spoke to her and she left. I couldn't convince her to come back so I had Bobbie call her grandparents to come pick her up off the road. Another time, a 14-ish-year-old kid was riding his bike at the park where I was running and every time he went around he'd skid stones at me. Speaking to him like an adult didn't work, so the 3rd time I threatened to kick him off his bicycle if he did it again. :D Wouldn't you know, the next time he came around he just nodded and from that point on we were on friendly "hello, how are you doing?" terms. :lol:

[daylilies]

I feel like I can't take much credit for Josh. He's just a good kid. I get comments a lot from his friends' parents that they hear Josh say nice things and he has quite a following on the playground. I know he's a great kid. Why is it that I can take credit for his crazy behavior and not his good behavior? :laugh:

I feel bad for that kid who has learned to be aggressive. It sounds like you handled him well though Bridget.

Chrissy I get it that not all teenagers like little kids but that was rude of her to put her hands on Connor.

[missychrissy]

I feel like I can't take much credit for Josh. He's just a good kid. I get comments a lot from his friends' parents that they hear Josh say nice things and he has quite a following on the playground. I know he's a great kid. Why is it that I can take credit for his crazy behavior and not his good behavior? :laugh:

I feel bad for that kid who has learned to be aggressive. It sounds like you handled him well though Bridget.

Chrissy I get it that not all teenagers like little kids but that was rude of her to put her hands on Connor.

I have that same issue Kate-I feel like I was lucky with my kids. One of the worst things Bobbie ever said to me was that I blamed them when they made mistakes but took credit for all their achievements. Nothing could be further from the truth. I've never said or felt that ever.

And yeah, that teenager that shoved Conner really got an earful. I probably scared her because I marched right at her, pointing and yelling. I was furious. I lost it, but even now looking back I know I'd do it again. She was 17 and knew better.

I will say she's the only teenager I've ever met that had an issue with Conner. All the other friends get along great with him. It's been amazing.

[Bridget]

I'm thinking I would have reacted that way too, Chrissy. It's one thing when a young child cannot control their impulses but she was practically and adult. How did your girl's react to that?

Lemme run this scenario by you all. Dbf has this guy he met a while back and they share the hobby of saltwater aquariums so they've gone to some trade shows together and traded things between each other and formed a friendship. Dbf keeps saying how he wants me to meet the girlfriend so that we can all hang out sometime. So yesterday the guy came over with his girlfriend. They walked in the front door and i said, "Hello! Welcome!" I was sitting on the couch with all three kids. She looked at me, didn't smile or say hello, then looked away and walked over to the fish tank where she chatted with dbf like they were old pals. I was totally taken aback that she didn't even acknowledge me! In my own home! My first instinct was that maybe she was shy but she certainly talked up a storm to dbf. At one point dbf left the room and they guy turned to me and was asking me about the daycare and trying to converse but the girl just kept her back to me and her attention on the fishtank.

After she left I told dbf that she rubbed me the wrong way and that i don't appreciate someone coming to my house and not acknowledging me or my children.
Dbf thinks she probably did not mean to be rude and thinks she is just shy but I don't buy that, really. She only met him once before and was very talkative to him. Also, I am shy around people I don't know and I would never in million years walk into someone's house and not greet them and introduce myself. I'm not shedding any tears over a lost friendship here but am I wrong or is that just poor manners?

[daylilies]

That is totally weird Bridget!

[AbbeysMom]

Rude, and really strange! She's sounds like at the very least, she has issues with other women.

[missychrissy]

Bobbie was actually very angry with me and thought I overreacted. Her sisters, however, were mad at her for not being more protective of her little brother. We all saw it happen, but Bobbie tried to minimize what her friend had done.

As for that chick, she was way out of line and if that happened here, I'd think that she had the hots for my dbf and was jealous of you. In fact, something like that did happen to us a few years ago. There was a girl that was one of Tim's friends gf. She got a flat tire in front of our house and Rich offered to change it for her. After that, she'd always wave at Rich but never at me. If she saw Rich outside she'd stop in but as soon as I showed up she'd give me a cool look and have to leave. If I wasn't home, she'd stick around until I got home. Rich was beside himself not knowing what to do about her. I laughed and called her his gf. :lol:

She couldn't say that she didn't wave at me because she didn't recognize my car either because at the time we had a minivan that was covered in sunflowers (painted on) and was recognizable from a mile away. She never once waved at me. :D

[AmeriBrit]

Yeah, Bridget, that is weird. I can remember meeting Rich's friends for the first time when I first moved over (and their wives as well) and I always tried my best to converse with them and I am one of the quietest people in the world. I have a hard time making small talk with people but I certainly do try.

[Cosmosmom]

Aww Josh is so sweet!


Ummm, it could really either go either way. It could be she is just rude or it could be shy and didn't really know how to relate to you with the kids and stuff. I can be pretty shy at least at first in person. But get me talking about something I'm really into, usually my dogs and I turn chatty. I do try to make some small talk. But maybe she has something off with her in social skills? Last time my mom was complaining about someone being really weird and rude, I was like didn't you know she has aspergers? Mom didn't know but said that explained a lot.

Speaking of my girls, I have just finally fallen in love with Molly this weekend. She hasn't bite me once all weekend and is just so sweet and loving and cute. And she hasn't eaten any poo. I loved her before (though it took a while) but now I am really feeling attached to her. It's like something clicked and she is finally getting the house rules. Snuggling is so much nicer when someone isn't trying to bite you. Still a lot of training left but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

[daylilies]

I'm glad Molly is settling in Jennifer!

As you guys know, I like to say I'm pretty socially inept. But if I were over someone's house for the first time even if I was just tagging along with DH I'd do my best to be friendly to the people who lived there. Maybe she was in a bad mood or didn't want to be there for whatever reason but wow I've never been in such a bad mood that I ignored someone who welcomed me into their home. And the fact that she was chatty with your dbf but not you or your kids makes it worse.

I was bored earlier and I looked up on facebook our former neighbors when we lived in Tennessee about 10 years ago. Their son was about Josh's age when we knew them so of course he's about 15 now but it was still a shock, seeing the pictures. I feel old.

[missychrissy]

That happens to me too...even though I have kids that have grown, I'm still surprised when i see others that have as well. It's like I expect time to stand still for them or something.

[Suja]

The Giants win!!!! YAY!!!!!

Kidlet starts new school tomorrow. I'm nervous, and hope she has an easy transition. This also means my days of sleeping in are over. Sadcakes!

[daylilies]

Aww! I hope your DD likes the new school Suja!

I'm bummed that the Pats lost, of course, but I don't care that much about football. I just have pride for my city.

[AbbeysMom]

Just popping in to say :fingerscrossed: for your beta tomorrow, Mandy!!! :babydust: to you!

[3andMe]

Oh yeah, I kind of heard that there was a football game on or something today. I even knew who was playing, which is more than I can say for my dh. That must have been the reason our neighbor Crackie was dancing out on the street all day today-- not that he needs a reason.

I met Krystal5 and her DD Maiya out at one of our regional parks yesterday. The weather was lovely. We left our husbands at home. While we were out, my dh built this awesome organizer (from Ikea) for the kids' room. I am beyond thrilled with it.

http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n70/lydchapman/IMG_6646.jpg

Ever since we realized we couldn't sell our house and move somewhere bigger and better in this market, I've been trying to think of ways to make the most of our tiny house, and I've been brainstorming on how to make the nursery a little more space efficient and transition it more into a room where the twins will be able to hang out and do their school work later on, as they enter grade school. I started out with the bunk bed, and I got them a little table with two chairs, and we are going to install a couple of shelves over the table to hold paper and art supplies for the time being. Everything is more complicated because we have to keep certain things out of reach of Baby S. With this shelving system, we put all of the board books within his reach and all of the big-kid books and other things on higher shelves. I was able to even get some games and puzzles out of various closets so they will be more accessible. I am so excited!

Here is a picture of me with all three kids on me like a 3D puzzle on our playdate that I wanted to share because I think it's hilarious. Krystal5's DD is standing in front of us but I couldn't pick her up right then too.

http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n70/lydchapman/P2040034.jpg

Suja, I can't imagine you sleeping in. You seem like a really hard worker, dawn til dusk. I hope the transition goes well for you.

Bridget, I saw your post in NM and I don't know what advice to offer you. My kids do ask about doing something if the other one got to, but they never count so many pages or things like that. I (and my mom) take turns with them. Like tonight, I was putting together the bins for that Ikea shelving unit, and they really wanted to do it with me. So DD helped me with one, and then DS wanted to help me too. So I said that only one could help me at a time and DD helped me last time so it could be DS's turn next time. But he kind of lost interest halfway through, and DD finished it and then did the last one with me, so she got to do a lot more than he did. If they start squabbling too much over something, I don't let anyone do it or have it. I just put it away. If they start squabbling too much with each other, I ask that they play separately if they can't play together nicely, and have them go play in separate rooms. They have been fighting a lot over helping me cook dinner lately, so I tell them one can help me cook dinner one night, and then another can help me cook another night (because I cannot cook if both of them 'help'). There is no talk about fairness, ever. We talk about taking turns, and sharing, and sometimes those turns do not involve the same thing. Sometimes one turn involves someone getting something he wants and the other person waiting, and then the other person gets something she wants, and the other person waiting. It's not always the same thing, or even something equitable. Mine haven't ever even thought about comparing things equally yet. And I hope they don't start.

[Bridget]

It didn't start so much until Savana started school.
Love that shelf. I need that in every room of my house.

[Gwenn]

That's a great shelf, L.

I'll keep you all posted about the beta. I have to call first thing and they will put in an order at the lab. I can't call until after I start work, though (I start earlier than they do, or just about the same time) and I won't be able to leave work right away to do it because I have appointments all morning and one from 1-2:30. So either I'll do the bloodwork tomorrow afternoon, or Tuesday morning. So we'll all have to keep practicing our patience, myself included. No AF yet - she's due tomorrow based on date of ovulation after the trigger shot.

[AmeriBrit]

Good luck with the beta today, Mandy!

That's a great photo, L! I thought I did well carrying 2 kids around some times!

[missychrissy]

Just popping in to say :fingerscrossed: for your beta tomorrow, Mandy!!! :babydust: to you!


That's a great shelf, L.

I'll keep you all posted about the beta. I have to call first thing and they will put in an order at the lab. I can't call until after I start work, though (I start earlier than they do, or just about the same time) and I won't be able to leave work right away to do it because I have appointments all morning and one from 1-2:30. So either I'll do the bloodwork tomorrow afternoon, or Tuesday morning. So we'll all have to keep practicing our patience, myself included. No AF yet - she's due tomorrow based on date of ovulation after the trigger shot.

Eek-this suspense!!!!

L-that pic is adorable of you with all your babes hanging off you! I love it!! That bookshelf is great too.

[daylilies]

Love the shelf and the picture!
We have a shelf like that but I've been keeping the toys in labeled green buckets in each space which has not really been working out since Josh can't read yet. Right now it's all in a pile in the dining room because we're painting the living room. We should be able to finish that this coming weekend and then we need to majorly reorganize Josh's things.


Good luck Mandy!

[Cosmosmom]

L that shelf is great!

Mandy fingers are so crossed for you. How you had the strength not to try a test yourself this morning is beyond me.

I'm thinking of changing my name to coughsalot. Not really but I'm starting to annoy myself already. Cold is mostly gone but this is when my asthma rears it's ugly head and I start with this coughing bs. And I realized yesterday that my inhaler expired March of last year. Ooops. Can tell I only use it like once a year. Good thing is that I'm at work so I called the doc's office and they are calling in a new inhaler for me....so later on I will just walk to the other side of the hospital and pick it up. Hopefully the generic isn't too much money because my insurance changed and I pay everything (high deductible with an HSA) and not a copay....

[daylilies]

Sorry Jennifer! A persistent cough really sucks!

[missychrissy]

Feel better Jennifer!

[Gwenn]

No need for a beta. AF came this morning, along with incredibly painful cramps. Everything about this cycle has been about x100 in intensity.

[missychrissy]

dammit :( I'm sorry.

[Cosmosmom]

Oh no Mandy I'm so sorry. :(

[daylilies]

I'm sorry Mandy :(

[AmeriBrit]

Gosh, Mandy. I'm so sorry.

[Suja]

Aw man. I'm so sorry, Mandy.

[raspberry]

Mandy, I am so sorry :(

[Bridget]

Dammit.
:comfort:

[3andMe]

:hugs:

[demigraf]

:comfort:, Mandy. My heart sunk for you.

[demigraf]

Mandy, it's been a few hours since you've posted and I'm guessing you've had time to process your thoughts. How are you feeling now?

:hugs: I - and I'm sure the other ladies - are so here for you.

[AmeriBrit]

Ditto what Myles has said. We're all here for you. (Hugs)

[girlwonder]

:hugs:Mandy

[Bridget]

Yes, what Myles said 100% and not giving up hope for your bfp in the near future.
We love you!

[Gwenn]

Thanks, guys. I stayed home from work today because I just needed some time to mope. Plus I just didn't think I could face another deadbeat parent today. We have another violent, nonverbal 5 year old on our calendar for today. So I called in sick.

I'm okay. DH is great but I'm just really discouraged because not only did everything seem to be going right (3 good follicles, perfect sperm sample, timing, etc) it was also fairly unpleasant. The dryness and gas pains and constipation from the meds had me miserable most of the last two weeks. So aside from the emotional toll, I just don't know physically how many medicated cycles I can handle.

The doctor said of this cycle didn't work, he wants to skip a cycle because my lining was a little on the thin side and frequent clomid cycles will thin it out more. So I'll have a break to recover which is good.

DH feels strongly that this would work within three cycles, so he is ready to try again. He gave me a big pep talk this morning that we just have to keep trying. I am feeling very discouraged about our chances, though.

[Ky'sMom]

So sorry Mandy. Big hugs to you.

Erin

[Cosmosmom]

mandy I think your DH has the right idea (course men do have the easier part!). If I remember correctly, what i was told was that the IUI/meds ups chances every month to about that of a couples without IF issues. And not all couples without issues end up pg the first month of trying with perfect timing but a good number end up by 3 months of trying pg. So I still think there is hope for you. And it sounds like a good idea to take a break for a month from the meds.
I don't know, I just have this feeling that in the next year there are going to be some new babies in this room, including yours.

[Gwenn]

Thanks. I hope very much that yours will be the other.

[missychrissy]

BIG :hugs:

[daylilies]

I don't blame you for taking the day off.

[AbbeysMom]

:hugs: Mandy.

Has your RE mentioned anything they can do to increase the lining? Estrogen? Heat? Or does he think the month off Clomid will be enough?

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. I agree with Jennifer, I can see big baby celebrations in the Secular room in the not to distant future. 8143

[AbbeysMom]

Bridget's question in New Moms is really hitting home for me right now. I have a very good friend here in Texas who is mom to Abbey's bff. She attends a preschool and we would both love them to go to preschool together, but it's at a Methodist church (friend is Catholic). I was supposed to go *this morning* to register her for fall, and I just couldn't do it. They take the kids to Chapel once a week, and it's in the actual church. The preschool has great reviews, and I really think it might be a great place to learn for little ones ...but I just keep thinking about someone telling Abbey evolution isn't real, or dinosaurs weren't real, or ghosts *are* real, and it makes my stomach turn. I really didn't think I had that much of a problem with it, but I do. I was talking with DH about it tonight and I think part of the reason I have such issues with her going to a Christian-based school is that I went to a Catholic school, and many of the fears that triggered OCD thoughts when I was really battling that illness were focused on the fear-mongering that I heard in my Catholic schooling. I'm still really conflicted about it (because ultimately I think Abbey would love to go to a school with lots of other kids, especially her bff) but I think we're just going to have to homeschool her while we're in Texas. And tomorrow I have to figure out a way to tell my friend that we aren't going to sign Abbey up for the preschool, in a way that doesn't offend her. :(

[Gwenn]

So far, he just mentioned taking a Clomid break. He looks for the lining to be >6mm, and mine was 5mm. He said he has had full term babies from 2.5mm linings, though, so it didn't rule out a successful cycle. My lining was 8mm on my initial consult, so I do think the Clomid is to blame.

[Gwenn]

:hugs: I'm sorry you have such a tough decision to make.

[daylilies]

I understand the logic behind thinking so, but you don't have to be a believer to believe in ghosts, and vice versa. I believe ghosts possibly exist. Most evidence is poor because it's so easily faked. But ghosts are a big fascination for me. I don't really envision anyone trying to tell your daughter ghosts are real. As for dinosaurs and evolution and all that if she comes home with questions you can show her the evidence.

[missychrissy]

I cannot express adequately enough how disappointed I feel for you Mandy, as I'm sure everyone in here feels as well. Words are so inadequate.

:( Abby'smom, in sure you'll find the words.

[Gwenn]

Methodists as a whole are not anti-evolution (http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nlnet/content.aspx?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=5881413&ct=3169121&notoc=1):


The official statement on*Science and Technology*says in part, "We find that science’s descriptions of cosmological, geological, and biological evolution are not in conflict with theology."*

The Church also opposes introducing theories such as Creationism or Intelligent Design into public school curriculum.


I thought so, but didn't want to say without checking.

Also, It’s time for people of faith to accept evolution (http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=5259669&ct=10843351)

[AbbeysMom]

I understand the logic behind thinking so, but you don't have to be a believer to believe in ghosts, and vice versa. I believe ghosts possibly exist. Most evidence is poor because it's so easily faked. But ghosts are a big fascination for me. I don't really envision anyone trying to tell your daughter ghosts are real. As for dinosaurs and evolution and all that if she comes home with questions you can show her the evidence.

Thanks, but she won't be going and this isn't really something I decided lightly. I know there are people who believe in lots of things that we (meaning DH and I) don't, for many different reasons, and that's not the issue. If I could put into a science-based preschool (they exist, just not here) I would.

[AbbeysMom]

Methodists as a whole are not anti-evolution (http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nlnet/content.aspx?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=5881413&ct=3169121¬oc=1):



I thought so, but didn't want to say without checking.

Also, It’s time for people of faith to accept evolution (http://www.umc.org/site/apps/nlnet/content3.aspx?c=lwL4KnN1LtH&b=5259669&ct=10843351)

This was exactly what my friend said to me when I told her my misgivings. :) And the Chapel visits could just be quiet times and could be seen as meditation, and the prayer before a meal could just as well be thanking the Earth for giving the food to us. But I still can't help feeling uneasy. :( That's probably due to my history with religion, but I really don't want that for Abbey.

[Suja]

Have you talked to them about what they cover? At that age, it should still be A LOT of play, and very basic skills. Even if they talked creationism, she really isn't old enough to understand.

DD's day in school went well. Except for a hunger related meltdown before lunch, she was as well behaved as can be expected. However, either this class is full of sedate little girls, or my kid is more like your average boy than a girl. FWIW, DD's class also gives thanks for the food. Just not to anyone in particular.

[Suja]

Also, is it possible to enroll her, but pull if you don't like what they're doing?

[Gwenn]

I understand your decision. If you are going to be uneasy, it isn't worth putting yourself through that.

[girlwonder]

If it doesn't feel right then don't do it, your friend will understand. Austin is a lot better for atheists than Dallas. Move here.

[Bridget]

We give thanks for the food too. We thank the Earth, the farmer, the apple tree...
Molly, I would have all the same feelings as you. I worry even at Savana's school in a predominately christian town that she would be the only voice of dissent.

Kai ate 2 bowls of salad tonight. I.am.trippin! This boy would push aside a whole plate of food if he spotted a vegetable in it. Tonight I put his dinner in front of him and I was eating a spinach/spring mix salad with vinegar and oil dressing and he started pitching a fit about the food in front of him. He said he wanted the salad so I immediately handed it to him and he ate it all and asked for more. I find it a strange coincidence that he started eating veggies a week into the gluten free diet. I'm going to do some research right now and see if that's common.

[daylilies]

Oh yes, I totally understand your decision not to put her in that preschool. I was just saying as a hypothetical, if you did put her in.

Go Kai! Josh won't touch most vegetables either.

[demigraf]

Thanks, but she won't be going and this isn't really something I decided lightly. I know there are people who believe in lots of things that we (meaning DH and I) don't, for many different reasons, and that's not the issue. If I could put into a science-based preschool (they exist, just not here) I would.

I was gonna ask if there were any secular alternatives in your area AT ALL. If there are, then I think that's a good option. It's cute that Abbey has a BFF, but she'll make new friends. They're s adaptable at that age that t could be you and her mom are more attached to the idea of their friendship than they are. Bodhi has moved away from 2 "besties" and made tremendous new friendships. And when he does get to see his old bestie whom we see every couple months, they drop everything and run for each other anyway. So try not to feel too sad about this decision if you can. Abbey will be fine.

[AbbeysMom]

You're completely right Myles, in fact, Abbey's super social so I don't think it would be that big of a deal, for her. But in truth, this women is definitely my best friend in TX. We hang out several times a week at playdates, and she's super smart, socially conscious, liberal-minded, and has sister issues. That's pretty much a recipe for a close friend for me, and it's very difficult to find people like that around here. :)

[demigraf]

I TOTALLY get it, Molly. Like-minded folks are keepers, especially in a sea of other people who are downright offensive to you. On the bright side, you might meet someone new you really like if you branch out to another circle, be it a school or some other place where moms gather. Are there no secular schools nearby?

Changing topic, I have to ask WWYD in this sitch. I feel almost ashamed to relate this because I can't help feel like it reflects on our parenting somehow, but ... B said "I want you and daddy to die" tonight when he was mad at me for ending bath time. I said "You don't mean that." And - almost to prove he did - he elaborated, "I want you to go away forever. I want your skin to fall off and your skeleton to come outside."

GULP!

Obviously, he didn't really mean it. He even had that look on his face he gets when he's trying something on for size, and watching for my reaction. But what awful, hurtful words! I got really quiet (being naked from bathing together didn't really help me seem authoritative) and explained to him that it's true, people can't come back after they die. It can't be undone (a concept I've been working on with him) and it is very sad for the people that love the person that dies. I told him I wasn't mad at him, but his words were big no-nos. Then I couldn't get him to tell me where he'd heard all those things. He insisted it came from him. DH came home and talked to him some more about his words. Apparently, he'd heard all those things from a younger girl who does have a big brother.

I tried as much as possible to make it a teachable moment, but I'm not sure I hit all the key things in an appropriate response.

I'm hitting Post now because I'm falling asleep right now. Talk tomorrow, I hope.

[AmeriBrit]

Myles, I think you handled that situation very well. I can remember when I was about 5 or 6 and telling my dad that I hated him because he wouldn't let me have a Reeses Peanut Buttercup from the store. His reply was in a very sad tone and he just simply said, "Join the club." That shocked the nasty words out of me. I never did tell anyone that I hated them after that.

I have to tell y'all 2 funny things that happened when we were at my nephew's birthday party this past weekend. The first one was when we got to SIL's house, there were lots of kids there and some of them hadn't seen us in a long while, so they'd never met Cash before. One little boy said to Travis, "Is that your brother?" Travis nodded and the little boy said, "Is he new?" LOL. And the second thing was when my SIL's FIL was leaving the party, he rubbed Travis' hair and said, "Goodbye, Reuben!" (Reuben is my nephew and it was his party and his Grandad that called Travis Reuben!) Anyone probably could make that mistake since they both have the same shaped head and same color hair (but Travis is quite a bit taller and slimmer) but I think what made it funny/awkward was that SIL's FIL is never around and only comes to parties to make it appear like he really cares about the family, so for him to say goodbye to the birthday boy who was not the birthday boy had everyone snickering when he left.

I have a doctor's appointment in an hour. I think I pulled a muscle on Saturday night when I was out. I had a violent coughing fit that lasted like 2 minutes (which seemed like 20 minutes at the time when I was grasping for breath) and the next morning, my side was killing me. It's gotten worse now, so I'm hoping the doctor can tell me what to do about it.

Speaking of going out with the mummy friends, I had a good time. The women are all very different to me (and a tad bit on the snobbish side) but it was nice chatting with people who have kids in the same school and just being out having wine and cocktails was fun. I did feel a little like the odd one out as they ALL drive black Land Rovers but one who drives one of those fancy Cadillac cars with the big grills on the front and I have a little black Ford Fusion. But they accepted me in to their little clique, so we'll see how it goes from here.

[AbbeysMom]

Myles, I think 3 is the age of starting the long process of testing social boundaries and authority. I think your explanation covered both of those elements, and it would have been hard for me not to be shocked and sad too. :( I really question whether they understand death in any significant way at 3. I know I didn't at all, until much later.

Abbey has said "I don't like you" to DH a few times, and his general reaction is to pretend to be sad until she relents, or tickle her until she changes her mind. I don't know if it's the 'right' thing to do, but on some level it's teaching her that her words can have effect on people's feelings and he'll always love her anyway. Maybe it's a bad reflection on our parenting that she's way more sheltered from concepts like 'hate' and 'death', but I figure she has her whole life to learn. :dunno:

In a similar but less dark story, Abbey started to use the word "sucks" (that maybe came from me :shame:). I told her it was a no-no word and that she could say "stinks" or "not good", but every once in a while she gets quiet, turns to me and says softly "Mommy, can I please say sucks?" :laugh:

[Ky'sMom]

I TOTALLY get it, Molly. Like-minded folks are keepers, especially in a sea of other people who are downright offensive to you. On the bright side, you might meet someone new you really like if you branch out to another circle, be it a school or some other place where moms gather. Are there no secular schools nearby?

Changing topic, I have to ask WWYD in this sitch. I feel almost ashamed to relate this because I can't help feel like it reflects on our parenting somehow, but ... B said "I want you and daddy to die" tonight when he was mad at me for ending bath time. I said "You don't mean that." And - almost to prove he did - he elaborated, I want you to go away forever. I want your skin to fall off and your skeleton to come outside."

GULP!

Obviously, he didn't really mean it. He even had that look on his face he gets when he's trying something on for size, and watching to my reaction. But what awful, hurtful words! I got really quiet (being naked since we were bathing together didn't help me
seem authoritative) and explained to him that it's true, people can't come back after they die. It can't be undone (a concept I've been working on with him) and it is very sad for the people that love the person that dies. I told him I wasn't mad at him, but his words were big no-nos. Then I couldn't get him to tell me where he'd heard all those things. He insisted it came from him. DH came home and talked to him some more about his words. Apparently, he'd heard all those things from a younger girl who does have a big brother.

I tried as much as possible to make it a teachable moment, but I'm not sure I hit all the key things in an appropriate response.

I'm hitting Post now because I'm falling asleep right now. Talk tomorrow, I hope.

Ky used to say things like that to me. He told me he hated me and that he wished I were dead, also that I was the meanest mommy in the world. I just told him that regardless of what he said I loved him and wanted the best for him so he was going to do whatever it is I asked of him or that I told him he needed to do, since these outbursts only occurred during times he didn't want to listen or wanted to do something that I did not want him to do.

I think all kids do this sort of thing, though some are more shocking than others. FWIW, one of my nephews, the one I mentioned who has a 156 IQ was a very strange toddler and I remember watching him when he was around 3.5 years old and he just told me out of the blue that he wished his mother would die. He looked really upset, like he had been thinking about something she did and I told him how his mother loved him and that he would be sad if she were dead. But he was adamant that he wanted her to die. It was pretty freaky to me to be honest but I remembered later that at the time his mom had been having some financial problems and had left him and his older brother in the care of my mom until she could get a place and I thought, looking back, that he was just upset that he wasn't living with her anymore and that visiting her wasn't enough, but maybe I put too much into that thought. I do remember that his mom had dropped him off with me that day because she had to work and I was suppose to take him over to my mom's house. He was and still is VERY attached to his mom. She was the first person in our family who was an extended BFer and he BFd until he was 3 and was and still is just totally enamored by his mother so I think he was just upset that he didn't get to stay with her fulltime.


Elle has started to tell me that I'm not nice. I couldn't imagine her telling me she wanted me to die or that she hated me like Ky used to. She is extremely sensitive to me and hates to disappoint me (I worry about this with her more than other things as I really have to chose my words wisely in our conversations). If she told me that she hated me she would probably burst out in tears, like she does when she says I'm not nice.

Erin

[demigraf]

Ash, I just saw on FB that your doc's visit didn't help you feel any better or get you answers. Sorry to hear that! :( Your new mummy friends sound a lot like the mom's group I mingled with in the last town I lived in, which was extremely tony and all the moms were blond, aerobicized, were all trying to get their kids into a pricey preschool called "Seedlings" and drove huge honkin' SUVs. DH used to call them "The Interchangeables". Mean, we know.

Speaking of FB, a high school friend with a son B's age posted this as her status (in almost mocking contrast to my Bodhi story from last night): "A's latest daily request, 'Mommy, don't go anywhere. Stay with me all of my life. I don't want you to die.' Gulp." Boy do I feel loved. ;) We both "gulped" for completely opposite reasons!

[demigraf]

Erin, bless that little boy's mom. That's awesome she BF'd for so long. I also felt very freaked out when Bodhi was saying those things too. Like, for a split second, I heard twisted music in my head and started picturing scenes from The Bad Seed. When I replay the tape in my head, though, what I also remember is his voice sounding like he knew he was saying the exact opposite of what he meant. Very similar to times when I'm trying to distract him from a tantrum with a really enticing toy, and he really wants it, but he's not quite done having his big blow-out. So he makes a really big show of not wanting the toy, but I can tell he really doesn't mean it. He had that tone in his voice.

Going back to an earlier topic, the universe must have had IKEA on the brain, because it sent me to the one in Palo Alto on Saturday too. For those here who aren't familiar with the IKEA store experience, let me describe it to you. It's AWESOME. And it (say it with me, Abbey) SUCKS . Two to three stories of Swedish-designed, Chinese-made Euro-style. With a cafeteria and free childcare. The stores are all designed on purpose to be like a maze, so if you don't know secret passageways and shortcuts, and just follow their layout, you must walk through every single display and every section of the store. You enter from the most expensive furniture showrooms and wind your way along arrows and escalators to the warehouse piled 30 ft high with boxed furniture and indecipherable assembly instructions, ending finally at the giant line to check out. You can go in for a lightbulb and come out 3 hours later grateful you found your way out of there before starving to death. Then you suddenly notice you left with $300 worth of home goods you didn't really need but somehow were all exactly that color you'd been looking for. (For more information, I highly recommend the essay: "IKEA! Cry of a Lost Generation" by frequent NPR commentator Sandra Tsing Loh.)

So just imagine how many high fives I was slapping myself when we made it out in record time by walking in the "back way" from the registers. Bodhi & I cleared checkout in 30 minutes, and with $40 worth of storage bins I actually did need and only $28 worth of lampshades and unbelievably cheap light fixtures I didn't need. When your intended-to-buy to how-the-h3ll-did-this-get-in-my-cart-?!? ratio is at least 1:1, it's a good trip.

Then I got home and found out the storage bins were the wrong size for the shelf they were meant for. The universe wants me to go back to IKEA, I guess.

In the store's defense, though, I recently found some floating shelves from them at a garage sale, but they were missing some hardware. I called them to see if I could just buy the parts. The girl on the phone was super helpful, making sure I knew exactly the part number and quantity I was ordering and they ended up shipping them to me for free, no questions asked. Go, IKEA!

[demigraf]

Oh, and also again with FB and IKEA, my friend recently posted a picture of her baby with a really pissy expression on her face, sitting in a pile of MDF wood table and chair legs, and her caption was "Because you're never too young to be frustrated by IKEA".
:laugh:

BTW, I loved that pic, L. Maiya is so big now, at least from behind. I haven't seen her since she & baby S were practically newborns.

[Cosmosmom]

LOL That is Ikea! DH HATES that store. Course the one we would go two is next to the Mall of American in the Twin Cities and we only would do that on a Saturday afternoon since it's about a 90 minute drive in good traffic. And that is when everyone takes their crabby babies/toddlers/children with them and also goes there. And it's definitely a maze! That said we really like the bookshelf we got there, it's pretty good quality and we got a nightstand for the guest room pretty cheap. Thankfully for us, most of the stuff there isn't our style so we can go in knowing we want a basic bookshelf and come out with just that.

So did anyone else when little say I hate you or I don't like you to their parents? I know DH and I did and both our moms replied that they didn't like us much right now either. Can definitely see a change in parenting styles from back than to current lines of thought. I know grandma said told my MIL that if DH bites and doesn't stop, bite him back. Um wow.
I know same grandma told her kids (my MIL and her two brothers) that they were so naughty they were going to the orphange and even packed them suitcases and pretended to be on the phone with the orphange. MIL and her brother were just talking about that few weeks ago when visiting me. Sad how upsetting and devasted they were at the time (1950's) but found it funny now.
I said, NOBODY ever better say that to my child....especially being that he/she will be adopted and that alone will bring a different set of issues. They agreed though that grandma was wrong to do that.

[daylilies]

I hate IKEA!
I know, it doesn't help that the only time we went was right before school started, so the place was taken over by college age kids. It's also that the layout is a nightmare for me.

Josh has said some scary things re: hating me and death before. I try to tell myself he doesn't understand the gravity of what he was saying. The hardest thing was when we had to put one of our cats to sleep a year ago and he kept saying he didn't miss George and he was glad he was dead. That must have been the denial phase because pretty soon he was saying he missed George (he still does, in fact when we draw pictures of the family and our 2 living cats he still wants to include George, so that makes me feel better but also sad for him)

This morning Josh asked me, "Can people change jobs? I mean, if you're like, a hair dresser man and you want to do something else, can you?" (I thought it was funny he picked a hair dresser as an example, not sure where he got that from)

I said yes, people often change jobs, why do you ask?

"Because I want daddy to go get a job where he gets home in the day time." DH often gets home after dark, and sometimes even after Josh is in bed. :(
I explained to him that daddy is a good worker for Comcast and he likes what he does and it makes good money for us and that it would take a lot of time for him to go back to school and learn something else. But it made me sad that Josh is noticing the lack of time DH can spend with him.

[daylilies]

I'm not sure about when I was young but I'm pretty sure I said "I hate you" to my mom at least a couple times growing up. I'm pretty sure she just tried to pretend it didn't bother her (although being a mother now I can imagine it probably broke her heart)

There's some quote out there, something like "if you don't hate me at least once in your life I'm not doing my job right"

[Cosmosmom]

So did you all see that another at Komen resigned?

And this:

A three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled 2-1 that a lower court judge correctly interpreted the U.S. Constitution when he declared in 2010 that Proposition 8 was a violation of the civil rights of gays and lesbians.
"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples," said Judge Stephen Reinhardt in the majority opinion (http://media.nbclosangeles.com/documents/1016696com.pdf). "The Constitution simply does not allow for 'laws of this sort'."

[demigraf]

Yes, yay to both of those things, Jen. However, knowing the rabid Prop 8-ers I run into once in awhile, they will not be satisfied with the rulings of 4 separate judges and will dismiss what they say as liberal bias. It's a huge waste of everybody's time and money just for them to advance an agenda based on fear and hate.

[Inca]

I'm thinking maybe I'll start posting in here more often. That is, if you all don't mind.

[MashedUp]

I'm thinking maybe I'll start posting in here more often. That is, if you all don't mind.

I was thinking the same thing..............

[Suja]

Okay, so I love Ikea. In the general realm of MDF based, home assembly products, I find them to be the easiest to deal with. Also, Swedish Meatballs = YUM!!!

I think that we might cross the 'I hate you' threshold sooner rather than later. The kid has taken to saying 'Go away, Mama!' or 'Go away, Daddy' when we ask her to stop whatever shenanigans she's up to. And once, DH told her that he is not talking to her because she's mean to him. When he went to her the next time, she said 'I'm not talking to you, Daddy' and walked off to the bathroom and stood under the pedestal sink! That one is gonna have a mouth on her. I just know it.

For anyone in need of a laugh: http://smart*****estrashybooks.com/blog/pregnesia-by-carla-cassidy-guest-review/ (read the author's response as well). Romance is just not my thing, but I am sorely tempted to get this book. So APA is censoring the URL; just put the 5 letter word that rhymes with witch instead of the *****.

[AmeriBrit]

I'm thinking maybe I'll start posting in here more often. That is, if you all don't mind.


I was thinking the same thing..............

Nice to see y'all here; come on in, girls; the water's just fine! :P

Travis has never said he doesn't like me, but if he doesn't like that I'm scolding him because of his naughtiness, he tries to turn it around on me and says stuff like, "You are a naughty boy, mummy; you will go on that naughty step if you do that again..." and he'll say things like, "Don't say those things to me" when I say to him that I'll put him on the naughty step if he gets another warning for pushing Cash, etc.

I have never really enjoyed Ikea. We go every now and then and it's ok at first, but I'm usually hungry half way through and just want to go. I do like their designs, though. I like sitting in their little fake rooms and chilling. There were some commercials that aired here once of husbands and wives arguing in each of the fake rooms and saying something about how real they make the rooms feel, but I think they stopped showing them because people complained about seeing couples arguing on TV. LOL.

[Inca]

I'm not very good at Net's, but I'll try to keep up. It's either, it moves too fast and I have no idea what everyone is talking about, or the other way around it's so slow I end up just talking to myself. :laugh:

[AmeriBrit]

You can always just SCUBJA, Inca! :D (Myles' came up with that; it's "still catching up but jumping in anyway).

[MashedUp]

Since I haven't posted in here before, I figure I'll introduce myself. :hi: I'm Lisa. I'm an atheist. I've got two kiddos, Macie will be 3 in May and Asher will be 1 in May. I'll do my best to keep up with this thread as well :)

[AmeriBrit]

Welcome, Lisa! Your little ones are so cute! My older son is a May baby as well; he'll be 4 this year.

[Suja]

I'm not very good at Net's, but I'll try to keep up. It's either, it moves too fast and I have no idea what everyone is talking about, or the other way around it's so slow I end up just talking to myself. :laugh:

Welcome! It can get a little hectic at times, and a little slow on the weekends, but mostly, we don't really try to catch up on *everything*.

Welcome, Lisa! Your LOs are adorable!

[Inca]

:lol: Scubja! That's good!

I'm sure most of you know me from around the boards but I'll introduce myself anyways.

I'm Liz! I've got two little ones, Remy who will be 4 in April and Seren who will be 4 months old soon. Although I hate labels, I probably identify most with Agnostic with a little bit of Buddhist thrown in for good measure. :)

[MashedUp]

Thank you :wub:

[3andMe]

It can be really hard to keep up with this NET, even with those who are very regular posters. Just jump in whenever you feel like it, post whatever you want, don't worry about trying to respond to everything because it will drive you crazy if you are worried about leaving something/someone out, and join in on whatever is interesting or talk about something new.

Mylah, I think you handled Bodhi's conversation very well, although I'm sure it must have been disturbing. That was pretty graphic. I know that children do not have a good concept of death until quite a bit later, and it is still pretty vague as a concept even when it is present in front of them. I had a pet bunny that died when I was about 5 and I dug it up a month after it was buried to make sure it was still dead and I remember seeing what it looked like, partially decomposed. That probably helped me realize that death was not reversible.

My twins talked about me/us dying recently, too, although it wasn't in anger. DD said she wanted to remind me that she liked going on airplane rides and would like to travel by plane soon again. This was at bedtime, after I finished reading the bedtime story (nothing to do with planes). DS added, "and I would like to visit Iceland, among other places."

I replied that I liked traveling very much, too, but it cost a lot of money and we needed to save up, both our vacation time and our money, so we could take another trip some time. DS thought for a minute, and then said, "Well, if you and Daddy both died, then we could have your money and we could do what we wanted with it. We could go on airplane rides and travel."

I have no idea where they got that from. We have never discussed inheritance, and haven't read any books that talked about it. I decided to nip that in the bud. I told them that we got our money from going to work, and if we died we wouldn't be working, so no more money would be coming in. Besides, they know the laws about not being left alone, so it's not like they would just be able to go traveling around the world on their own. I did tell them that if we died, Grandma would take care of them and would make sure that they had a place to stay and weren't alone.

DD pondered that for a minute, and then said, "Well, even if you don't have a lot of money to leave us when you die, can I at least have all of your clothes?"

I told her yes.

I told my mom about this story, and she remembered my sister and I arguing over who got one of her blouses when she died. So I guess what comes around, goes around. And I am pretty sure I remember telling my mom I hated her, too.

What is more disturbing for me is this other exchange between my twins.

DS to DD: "Why are you so mean to me?"
DD: "Because I'm getting older and that's what happens when you get older. You get mean."
DS: "But why do you have to be so mean to me all the time?"
DD: "I just told you. I'm growing up."

[Inca]

Ok, I had to laugh at the conversation between your twins. I wish Remy could have conversations with me like that. :(

[Suja]

I know I shouldn't, but I laughed a little at your post. When we were little, my mom would sometimes end up in bed, medicated, for excruciating back pain. My brother and I would sneak up on her quietly, to check see if she was breathing. Although she was groggy, mom could hear out conversations, and she said it invariably centered around how mom might in fact not be breathing, and who would take care of us after she's dead. According to her, we were sure dad would re-marry and the step mother would treat us shabbiliy, so we would discuss various aunts we liked as our options for where to live.

On the topic of getting mean when you grow up. I was listening to the computer guys on the local public radio station, and they were discussing whatever happened to Google and it's motto 'Don't be evil' (especially in light of the concerns raised by its recent privacy policy changes). The answer basically boiled down to 'They've grown up!'. Your kids' conversation reminded me of that.

[3andMe]

For anyone in need of a laugh: http://smart*****estrashybooks.com/blog/pregnesia-by-carla-cassidy-guest-review/ (read the author's response as well). Romance is just not my thing, but I am sorely tempted to get this book. So APA is censoring the URL; just put the 5 letter word that rhymes with witch instead of the *****.

Okay, that is just freaking hilarious!!!!!

And I'm embarrassed to admit that review sounds vaguely familiar. I don't think I've read the actual book being reviewed, but I think I might have read something else in that series.


#7: Two chapters after unironically encouraging the heroine to buy the pink “baby on board” t-shirt, the heroine unironically wears it. With some snug fittin’ maternity jeans. Mmmmm. Sex-AY. The hero unironically pitches a tent.

Hee hee hee

[Suja]

It was #16 that really got to me. "He acts like a shy debutante. “What are you doing? I do declare… Lawks-a-mercy!” AMAZING. Oh, Pregnesia, where have you been all my life?"

Oh, and I'm planning to get that book. Especially after reading the author's response.

[3andMe]

Oh, and yeah, I have been questioning DD as to where on earth she got the idea that you get mean when you get older. "Am I mean?" "No." My mom was worried (because she had been watching them that day) that they thought she had done something mean to them, but they denied that she was mean, too. I finally gave up and asked DD if she knew ANY mean grown-ups. She told me truck drivers were mean. I asked her where she got that idea. She told me Daddy told her that.

I asked DH where that came from, and it was from a big truck that cut him off in a merge. He apparently told them that people with big trucks sometimes feel like they can push into the road and not be as polite because they are bigger.

So I think she was just talking nonsense and trying to justify being mean.

[Cosmosmom]

Ok, the kids conversations are kind of funny.

Hi Lisa and Liz!!! :)

I like the looks of Ikea stuff for others homes but for us it's just too modern for the most part. though I do really like the whole billy bookcase system. Good when you have a lot of books like we do and works since the office is a bit more modern. Rest of the time we tend to really like arts and crafts or mission style.
it's fun to visit once a year or every two years though and just walk around. Those store designers did a great job at getting you in and making it hard to leave....kind of like a casino!

[Ky'sMom]

Hi Lisa and Liz! Welcome to the thread!!

Myles, you described IKEA to a T!!! LOL! I actually enjoy Ikea though. It is like a tourist attraction here in Atlanta and is less than a mile from my house so anytime someone comes to visit me, I MUST take them to Ikea because they have heard all about them. I only go on weekdays and never in the evenings, so it is usually quiet and just a wonderful place to look at things. I also know all the secret passage ways that you spoke of so I can get through the store itself in under 10 minutes. I usually only get what I come for and I will look up exactly where the item is in the big warehouse section online and head straight there, get my stuff and leave. I rarely even look at the displays unless I am just wasting time or I have a visitor who needs and Ikea tour.

This makes me wonder if I could get tips by standing in certain sections and saying "psst....you wanna know the quick way to check out?" and look all around to make sure an Ikea guard doesn't come and arrest me or something for selling secrets LOL!

Erin

[Suja]

It's official! I have NO impulse control. I actually bought a book titled 'Pregnesia'. Who would've thunk it?

[raspberry]

Welcome Lisa and Liz!!

I've never been to IKEA, the closest one to me is 2 hours away. I get their catalogs and I do like some of their items. L, I love your new shelves. I need those in every room. Especially for my dh the pack rat, he thinks he must keep everything, just in case he might need it one day. oy.

[Inca]

The only Ikea I've ever been to was in Belgium. So not only was it an experience of it's own, it was kinda weird because of the language differences. Everything was written in French, Dutch, and English.

[AbbeysMom]

If she told me that she hated me she would probably burst out in tears, like she does when she says I'm not nice.

Erin

:wub:

I think Abbey and Elle have similar personalities.


Your new mummy friends sound a lot like the mom's group I mingled with in the last town I lived in, which was extremely tony and all the moms were blond, aerobicized, were all trying to get their kids into a pricey preschool called "Seedlings" and drove huge honkin' SUVs. DH used to call them "The Interchangeables". Mean, we know.

I had to take this quote to say that I'm like a 8 year old [American] boy and picture Ash with a bunch of Egyptian mummies drinking tea whenever I see the word "mummy". :shame:


So did you all see that another at Komen resigned?

And this:

A three-judge panel of the 9th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled 2-1 that a lower court judge correctly interpreted the U.S. Constitution when he declared in 2010 that Proposition 8 was a violation of the civil rights of gays and lesbians.
"Proposition 8 serves no purpose, and has no effect, other than to lessen the status and human dignity of gays and lesbians in California, and to officially reclassify their relationships and families as inferior to those of opposite-sex couples," said Judge Stephen Reinhardt in the majority opinion (http://media.nbclosangeles.com/documents/1016696com.pdf). "The Constitution simply does not allow for 'laws of this sort'."

:thumbsup: :)


I'm thinking maybe I'll start posting in here more often. That is, if you all don't mind.


I was thinking the same thing..............

Hi Lisa and Liz! :hi: Jump in whenever and however you want. :)

[AbbeysMom]

Oh, and IKEA alwasy sounds good in theory but never works out for me. I start to feel frustrated and panicked after walking through two miles of "Scandinavian Designed" (but made in China) goods without finding the one thing I wanted from the catalog.

[AmeriBrit]

LOL, Molly.....makes the phrase 'yummy mummy' even funnier than what it is. I'm so anglicized these days that crazy English words don't phase me anymore!

[demigraf]

LOL, Suja. OK, not only did APA censor the URL, but my company censored the site content, so I'll have to wait until my going there on a non-work machine doesn't represent an act of flagrant procrastination. But judging from the quotes you & L pulled from the site, the content sort of reminds me of the recaps you'd find on http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/ --- for schlubbs like me who spend more time in front of screens than pages.

Erin, that's hilarious about dealing in "classified" IKEA information in the store. Maybe I should approach a lost soul in the store and say in my best Terminator voice: "Come with me if you want to live." I've felt like a complete hero in the past for helping shoppers find their way to the bathroom. I once helped Dharma from Dharma & Greg find her way around at the Burbank IKEA too.

L, all of those conversations are precious, although I'd like to be in line for some of your blouses. Honestly, the pluckier C sounds, the more I like her. I think I've gotten a little meaner as I've gotten older. A little. ;)

Liz & Lisa, welcome! Feel free to SCUBJIA anytime.

Mandy, I'm thinking of you and hoping you're feeling better today. I hope your "day off to mope" did you some good. :hugs:

Chrissy, where are ya? How are ya? I can't remember if you've started your new job or if that is next week. Anyway, I hope all is going well for you, mama!

[3andMe]

Claire has been on a tear this past week. She has been pretty rotten. DS was in the right to accuse her of being mean, actually.

So DH at dinner the other night asked her, "Hey Claire, what starts with a 'B' and rhymes with 'itch'?"

Claire looked at him and said the word that APA would just filter out.

I was utterly appalled.

DH was also appalled. He stared at me accusingly and asked me who taught her that word. I said, "You did. Just now. As far as I know, she's never heard it before. But she does know how to rhyme." I was pretty incensed.

DH recovered quickly. He said, "What starts with a 'D' and rhymes with 'itch'?" and got her going on other rhymes so she quickly forgot about it. Still. Ugh.

On the weird side, DS, who is the one who doesn't listen, has all of a sudden started doing everything he's told and saying, "Yes, Mommy, right away Mommy, and is there anything else I can help you with?" and he volunteers to go in and read bedtime stories to Baby S (it is SOOOO adorable!) and it's like there must be some universal balance of child behavior where if one is good, the other must be bad and vice versa.

[daylilies]

I hope you all don't think I'm a terrible mom for doing this but I was curious if Josh would figure it out (of course I would not even make a big deal out of it if he got it right and then he'd promptly forget about it)
So I asked him what starts with B and rhymes with itch and he thought for a while and said "Back itch?"

I couldn't make this stuff up.

[AbbeysMom]

Where is Chrissy?

[3andMe]

Maybe Chrissy started her new job already and can't hang out on APA all day because she has to work or something?

Oh Chrissy???????

Back itch!!!! I love it! I will have to tell my dh that one. I was so mad at him for that.

[Cosmosmom]

Kate that is funny. I could see doing something like that too.

I think that this is Chrissy's last week on the job so she's probably closing up things there and not playing online with us.

[daylilies]

IDK, she hasn't been on facebook all day either.

[Suja]

The B-word IS a legitimate non-cuss word. Just explain that it is a term for a female dog.

[Bridget]

Oh, this thread is cracking me up today.

Welcome Lisa and Liz!

[daylilies]

The B-word IS a legitimate non-cuss word. Just explain that it is a term for a female dog.


Yeah, I was thinking that too.

[3andMe]

Oh, for those of you who are angling for a career helping shoppers navigate through IKEA quickly, I wanted to let you know that I have always found actual employees at IKEA who can direct me to secret shortcuts. I can get in and out in a heartbeat.

[demigraf]

Really?!? I've always felt that finding an actual employee to answer a question at IKEA was up there with trying to find someone to cut 3 ft of lamp wire for me at Home Depot. You can't have any other plans for the rest of the day. At least from my experience.

I've decided my official job title should be changed to "No one tells me anything and yet everyone expects me to know everything."

Unrelated to that, but speaking of work... this company we partner with (we're their customer but are so dependent on their product that they pretty much have us by the ho-hos) had promised us they'd support us in what they'd originally assured was a simple data mapping exercise. Like we thought they could give us one spreadsheet and if we wanted to look up what "a" mapped to, all we had to do was find "a" on the list and read across to find its related "b" in the same row. Not so simple. They handed us one of those spreadsheets and we quickly found that "a" couldn't get us to "b", but it could get us to "xyz". And if we used this other list and looked up "xyz", it would find at least 40 different "xyz" rows that might contain "b". After that didn't work, they pointed me to their repository of code. Just read the code, they said, and it'll get me to what we need. I then realized their code consisted of 846 separate files - 846 separate places I'd need to look to potentially find "b". Then I found out of those 846 files, some were variants of the same thing, so I asked how to know which variant to look in. You know what they recommended? That my company pay for us to attend a two-day webinar taught by them just to understand their versioning system (to make rhyme or reason out of their variants).

So a simple request for customer support turned into them upselling us on a whole big, pricey course to give us the information we'd originally requested that they'd assured us they could provide. I should add that their assurance was what led to the allocation of funds to this project. We have built out a whole team & hired new people (I think I'm actually one of them) just because they said this mapping exercise was going to be straightforward. I wonder if my higher-ups will complain. Anyway, I'm off to they gym to chill out. Bleh.

[missychrissy]

:hi: new people!

I'm here...it is my final week at my old job. I spent a lot of time with the boss man today and saying goodbye to some people. I was ok, until I went to therapy. My therapist says, "So Friday is going to be hard?" and I burst into tears. Gulp. Yeah. Hard isn't the word.

I don't know if all my older kids said something cruel about wishing I was dead or that they hated me, but I can assure you that it is nothing compared to hearing your teen say they don't want to live. I don't think the little kids really grasp what they're saying and they're just testing the boundaries and trying to get a reaction.

As far as Ikea, I've been to one once. I wasn't impressed with their stuff at all. I like the pics some of you have posted of stuff on here, but what I saw in person looked cheap to me. But I'm not good at shopping and can't really see individual pieces when they're in the midst of a lot of 'junk' There's something about Ikea's setup that made it harder for me than normal to spot anything I liked.

It's the same with me at Target. I cannot see past all the red and the store drives me bonkers. I've never once gone in a Target and found a 'good deal' I know it's me because everyone else seems to get 100 dollar items for 50 cents all the time! :P

[Gwenn]

This thread is too much fun today. I'm cracking up at all the comments. Particularly back itch.

Welcome to the new heathens! Jump in, or SCUBJIA, any time.

I like Ikea, but my DH hates it. Combined with the fact that the closest one is in Phoenix, which is 100 miles of barren desert away, and I hate Phoenix almost as much as I hate crossing 100 miles of barren desert to get there, I've only been to Ikea like twice in my life. But I do wish we had one here. I don't see why we don't - we have a ton of big chain stores like it and not only does the local population shop here, but tons of people come up here from Mexico to shop, so I'm sure we could keep them in business.

Jennifer, your comment about your grandmother and the orphanage made me :shocker: My MIL did the EXACT same thing to DH. Not only that, but she made him pack his own suitcase (which he filled exclusively with teddy bears, being 6) and then made him sit in the car, clutching a teddy bear, waiting to be driven to the orphanage. What life lesson that taught him, other than not to trust people in general and his mother in particular, I can't imagine. He does not think it is funny, he thinks it's horrible. She also told him once, "If you weren't my little boy, I wouldn't let my little boy play with you." That and, when spanking him for doing nothing wrong, "If you haven't done anything to be spanked for yet, you will." All true stories. This is why my MIL will never watch my children unsupervised. And if I hear anything approaching that, she won't even see them. And I kid you not, this woman worked as a nanny for years. Can you imagine?

DH still has trouble accepting that I love him unconditionally. No one else ever has, I'm quite sure. It's taken a lot of work.

So, question for all of you. Testing a little girl today, and I heard a lot of that baby-babbling nonsense words and very rote phrases such as "What's that?" and "Here you go." Other than that, just single words, "food" "cookie" "ball", etc. So I asked her mother, "I hear some routine phrases, but does she put two words together in her own way?" The mother looked blank and asked me for an example, so I said, "Does she say something like 'Mommy eat?' " She said no, she will say "I'm hungry." Then I asked, "What if she isn't hungry, but you are eating - would she say mommy eat or mommy eating, or something similar?" The woman looked totally confused and didn't seem to understand what I was asking.

If your kid does that, or did do it at some point, you would know what I was talking about, right? Because the woman seemed to look at me like I was speaking some foreign language or something.

[Suja]

Mandy, I would think so, but maybe different examples might have helped? I think she might have been confused about the difference between 'I'm hungry' and 'Mommy eating', given that they are both 2 words strung together.

[Cosmosmom]

The B-word IS a legitimate non-cuss word. Just explain that it is a term for a female dog.


Dude I should have thought of that one considering I have two of them. LOL

[Gwenn]

Oh, how DH and I love to read dog food labels and point out any mention of "lactating *****es." Juvenile, but good clean fun.

[Cosmosmom]

Mandy I get what you are saying.

Maybe it was something about a different generation. Well wasn't my grandma but DH's. Though his mom (my MIL) and grandma were very close. wasn't my favorite person but oh well. If anything, I worry my MIL will be too easy going on our kid and she will be around and watching the baby for us or probably by toddler years. I mean even with the puppy she's too easy....like Molly found a ribbon on her robe and started chewing on it. MIL was like oh look what she found, how cute. DH and I were like OMG that is NOT cute, don't let her do that. That was a couple of weeks ago. I mean here we are trying to teach her to chew on her toys only and no biting.... Generally she to go with our wishes and rules but she's a pushover.

Chrissy, hang in there. It will be ok.

[Cosmosmom]

Here's my b*tches. Well are they still called that if fixed? Cosmo is and Molly will be soon. Taken last night. 8157

Cosmo is nicknamed The Princess and Molly is The Poogle. So I feel like I have a fairy tale on my hands, The Princess and The Poogle.

[demigraf]

TBH, I'm still a little confused at the distinction between "Mommy eat" and what could be considered a routine phrase. By routine, did you perhaps mean something like two words repeated versus two words assembled from single words she'd never heard said together before?

I'm afraid I'm one of those people who gets easily confused because I need specificity. I guess that's why I write a lot of specifications for a living. I'm fairly quick to notice where more detail could be filled in, but annoyingly bad at making correct inferences.

Jennifer, speaking of the mean things grownups say, my crazy aunt once threatened to throw my beloved great-aunt into the river when I was 5, just because I was crying for her not to leave for the afternoon.

Man, people. :ohno:

[Gwenn]

Isn't that a Disney movie? LOL!

[Gwenn]

TBH, I'm still a little confused at the distinction between "Mommy eat" and what could be considered a routine phrase. By routine, did you perhaps
mean something two words repeated versus wo words assembled from single words she'd never heard said together before?

I'm afraid I'm one of those people who gets easily confused because I need specificity. I guess that's why I write a lot of specifications for a living. I'm fairly quick to notice where more detail could be filled in, but annoyingly bad at making correct inferences.

Exactly. I was looking for the ability for the child to independently assemble her own phrases/sentences, not just imitate what she had already heard. "Thank you" does not qualify as a two-word phrase. We call it a "chunk." If she said "mommy eat," you KNOW she put it together herself because she wouldn't have heard an adult say that, ever. I don't think she did that with "I'm hungry" because I didn't hear her using "I'm" or "hungry" separately in any other context or anything else remotely similar. If that makes sense.

It probably wasn't the greatest example, though... doggie bark? cookie mine? Something along those lines.

[missychrissy]

I wouldn't have understood by the first explanation Mandy, but I got it when you clarified for Myles.

Jennifer, your babes are adorable. They look like they're best friends already.

[daylilies]

Oh, Target. I always go in there for one or two things and come out with a cartful. I don't care if they're great deals either. There's just something about it. Apparently red, along with making you hungry, also makes you want to buy stuff.

Mandy, I would have understood what you meant. You were looking for original observations as opposed to repeating something the child hears a lot.

[missychrissy]

Kate, I hear that all the time about Target but it doesn't have that effect on me. I've gone in in desperation to get items I couldn't find elsewhere and wasn't able to find anything at target either. I've never been tempted to buy anything else, and I have walked around looking at stuff. I always wonder why people say they buy more than they intend there because I've never once saw anything special.

I think in this I'm just wired different than other girls. I'd rather shop at Radio Shack.

[daylilies]

I have no idea what it is about that place. I'm there almost every day (it doesn't help that it's two blocks from where I live). I'm not a Radio Shack girl though. What do you buy there?

[Gwenn]

I love Target. I can definitely go crazy there.

[missychrissy]

Electronics! I don't go often because I hate shopping in general, but if I ever lose track of time in a store it's in one like that or Best Buy. I can read labels on cameras, TVs, computers all day.

I've bought various wire crimpers and other tools on the spur of the moment. That's the only type of impulse buy I would do. Definitely not clothes or household items.

[Bridget]

I'm with you, Chrissy. Well kinda. I really do not like any dept stores at all and avoid them as much as possible. If I do absolutely have to go, i do prefer Target however.

[Cosmosmom]

Well ONE of them thinks they are best friends....Cosmo's not totally sold yet.

I often walk out of Target empty handed. I do better at Walmart...ours is actually pretty nice but I hate the parking lot. Most of the time I go to Shopko....anyone else besides Bridget have those? I do go in there and come out with things that were not on my list. :)

[daylilies]

LOL


I buy mostly food or little things for Josh (gee, I wonder if they put the $1 section at the entrance for a reason) or little goofy things I don't really need but look cute, like kitchen towels with hearts on them-I do seasonal stuff in the house and I have no Valentine's day stuff yet. Heck, I even bought a second scale there the other day because I was convinced my scale was wrong (it wasn't :()

[3andMe]

Mandy, I'm not sure how you could have explained it differently than asking her if she combined two words together in her own way. I guess you could have asked if she combined two words together in a way that her mother did not routinely combine them. And then maybe asked her if she was talking about something she was doing, such as eating, and she described it, like "Look, Mommy's eating a banana. Bananas are yummy. Do you like bananas?" Would her daughter ever reply with similar words and put them together in her own way and in a way that made sense, and not just copy the phrases?

But if she just didn't get it, she just didn't get it.

To me, it was intuitive. One of Baby S's first words was "There you go." (It was kind of pronounced "Day-oo-go"). He knew only a handful of words then. I was not fooled into thinking that this was his first sentence. It was intuitive to me that, to him, it was a sound that represented him showing me an object, or me showing him an object. It was not three words. It was a multi-syllabic sound.

Mean things that stay with you--my dad once told me I'd never be anything special because I got a C on a chemistry test. Although I do think that was the worst thing I ever heard. I was pretty lucky.

ETA: Geez, you guys move fast. I think there were about 6 or 7 posts while I was writing this. It's obsolete now.

[Gwenn]

You would be amazed at how many people are confused by that, though, and would consider "There you go" to be a three-word sentence when spoken by a child with extremely limited communication. I have to work to get to the bottom of it.

I read a developmental history form that said a child said his first word at 9 months and also began speaking in phrases at 9 months. But didn't have a 5 word vocabulary until 2 years. You know something isn't right...

L, I can't imagine someone saying that to you about a Chemistry test. But I suspect you're like me, and that sort of comment just makes you want to prove to that person how wrong they are.

[MashedUp]

I have never been to Ikea. I want to go, but the thought overwhelms me. I am not a shopper. The closest one is at least 3 hours away. I could sure use some organization though!

[missychrissy]

I could write a book on all the horrible things I heard growing up. It doesn't matter though. It made me the kind of person that doesn't take 'no' for an answer on anything, because like you said Mandy, it made me want to show them they were wrong.

I'll tell you the saddest thing I heard from my mother's side was, "You have to be really smart to go to college." It wasn't said maliciously or in a way to try to make us (myself, brother, cousins) feel bad. My grandmother, aunts & uncles actually thought people that went to college had superior intelligence. Now that I've done it, they still think that. They don't believe I'm just of average intelligence at all. They think I'm near genius. Maybe not genius-but I think you know what I mean. They're convinced I'm a lot smarter than they are and that I must get that from my dad's side of the family. It's not true, but I don't know how to convince them of that.

[MashedUp]

I can't recall any horrible things that were said to me growing up. Everything I can remember was always very positive. I guess I was/am very lucky.

[Bridget]

I don't remember anything specifically mean being said to me. I do think that my mom's general disgust and anger at my average grades made me hate school (the academic part, loved the social part) and not ever even want to try. But I have no hard feelings. She did the best she could. I look back on my childhood as mostly happy memories.

Sawyer has started to kiss and hug us. It is the sweetest thing ever. For his kisses he just leans with his lips pursed and goes right for the lips lol! And his hugs are all out arms around the neck and tight squeeze. Such a great feeling to get hugs and kisses from your baby!! I totally forgive him now for waking me up nurse about 15 times a night this week. *yawn*

[MashedUp]

Baby hugs are the best! Asher is a wicked cuddlebug, he puts his head right down and buries his little face in your neck. I definitely feel your pain on the nursing 15 times a night though! Thank goodness for cosleeping!

[Bridget]

Yes, indeed. I don't know how I would function if I actually had to get up and down all night. I just stick my boob in his mouth and fall back asleep!

[raspberry]

You would be amazed at how many people are confused by that, though, and would consider "There you go" to be a three-word sentence when spoken by a child with extremely limited communication. I have to work to get to the bottom of it.

I read a developmental history form that said a child said his first word at 9 months and also began speaking in phrases at 9 months. But didn't have a 5 word vocabulary until 2 years. You know something isn't right...

At Gilly's 2 year appt, the pedi only asked if he was saying 5 words, and he was. But he was stuck on the phrases
"what's that?" and "where'd it go" he said those 2 phrases for several months. We finally did speech therapy when G was 2.5, and it helped him a lot. We only went for 4 months, we had an insurance issue, but the SP's advice and tips helped me, help him at home. Now he's talking non-stop. It's hard for me to remember when he couldn't communicate. Mandy, your post the other day about seeing your clients again, makes me want to stop in and see his SP, and show her how much progress he has made. It's been 1 year since she saw him.

I am so not a shopper, I get that from my mom who loathed shopping-well except grocery shopping. I made the big mistake of running to Publix last sunday-dummy me forgot it was SuperBowl Sunday-oy the store was crammed with people. My city this time of year actually drives me crazy, we have a lot of snow birds down here, and they all drive so slowly!!! The weather is nice, which is why people are here, so I like to go out and about, but I have to contend with all the traffic.

I don't remember any mean comment from childhood, if it did happen I probably blocked it out. I tend to do that, only remember the good times. Except it seems when it comes to my MIL, I remember all her snarky comments to me.

baby snuggles are the best, mmmm. Around here, I get all excited if I ask G for a hug and kiss and he replies "sure" sometimes he will smile and say "no it's closed, maybe tomorrow"

Remember that post L shared about the best toys for kids are sticks and rocks, leaves etc. Well I had to laugh the other day because Gilly found this bungee cord in the back of the pickup, and he played with it for hours. We sat on the tailgate while G "fished" with the bungee, he caught my flip flops and his rainboots. He had the best time ever. Then last night he found a plastic food scale, it's round, so G was pretending it was a spaceship, flying it around the house. He loved that thing so much, he took it to bed with him last night. I am just loving this age, his imagination amazes me every day. I swear I was not this smart at his age!!!

[daylilies]

I remember during a time when I wasn't really doing well in school my mom pulled out her college or maybe high school report cards. She never got anything lower than a B. I don't know what showing me those was supposed to accomplish but it has stuck with me.

Also I have always been pretty low maintenance as far as makeup, outfits, etc. Well I must have been in middle or high school when she told me I had to keep up with my appearance better or people wouldn't want to associate with me. I took that to mean she didn't think I was pretty enough or something when I think she just meant I should brush my hair more often. :laugh: But I remember being really appalled that she was being so superficial.

Does anyone remember when Seventeen magazine used to publish photo shoots at high schools? (Idk, maybe they still do) I used to obsess over those pages and think I wasn't as pretty as the average high schooler, when in reality they all probably got a couple hours in hair and makeup before the shoot.

[Suja]

I don't like to shop, but end up doing most of it because DH hates it worse, and getting him to buy stuff is like pulling teeth. Not only do I have to give him a list, I have to specify quantity, otherwise he'd come home with two onions (pretty much everything I make has onions in it ) and 15 heads of Broccoli. The one place I love to linger is a home improvement store. I just like looking at tiles and hardwood and faucets and stuff.

My parents were never mean, really. Two incidents I remember though. I must've been 7 or 8 and dad decided he would help me with my math. Mom was the one who always helped. He asked me to bring my textbook, my workbook and scratch paper, which I did, putting one inside the other to save my place in the books. So he asks me again ro come back when I had all three things, and I kept trying to give him the one bundle in my hands. Finally, he said that if I didn't fet it right away, he was going to give me a kick in my pants, and when I stood there insisting I had everything, he did! It disn't hurt physically, but the unfairness stung A LOT (as a kid, I had no problems taking my punishment as long as I had done something to deserve it; when dad tried to be all sympathetic once when mom had punished me and I was crying, I actually stood up for her and said that she only did it for my own good, and that I had deserved it).

The other time, this was when I was 11 or 12, I came home with a 97 on my math test, and dad asked where the other three points were. Shortly after that, my brother and I found HIS marks. He basically scraped by, not a spare point to be seen. He never asked me that sort of thing about my grades again.

Mandy, I was talking to some friends last night, and stuff Mira says came up in the course of the conversation. They kept saying 'Mira says that? Maggie doesn't', regerring to another friend's 3 year old. Apparently, multiple people have told them that maybe they should have her evaluated. She is active, curious, friendly, affectionate, but will not talk except on her terms. Like, she found a stuffed toy someone had dropped, came up to them and said 'Look, a puppy!'. That was it. Any further attempts to talk about the toy she found or puppies was met with a whole lot of nothing. She doesn't show much interest in books, pictures, etc. and has a limited vocabulary. The mom looked up stuff on the internet and decided the kid was just fine (my friends came to a different conclusion) and won't seek an evaluation. In the meantime, she failed the entrance to the Montessori they were planning on sending her to, and she says she'll homeschool the kid. Her idea of that is to work with her for half an hour, every other day. I just feel bad for the kid.

[AmeriBrit]

I love shopping but hate the big crowds of people. One thing that I used to never really bother about that I do now is shoe shopping. Growing up in Arkansas, I only ever wore shoes to school and in shops, so I never really cared what shoes I wore. I still do prefer to be barefoot, but I have discovered shoe shopping since moving to the UK and I have some nice boots, pumps and shoes.

I was going to try to post a long post, but the kids are home now and Travis is demanding that I make him some pancakes, so I better go do that before I get attacked by 2 hungry hippos!

[MashedUp]

I didn't realize how well DD spoke until her daycare expanded and there were other kids close to her age around. She's almost 33 months and basically speaks like an adult. I can have a normal conversation with her now and it amazes me. And she corrects herself if she says something wrong or phrases something wrong. She's going to give me a run for my money though because she catches on too fast!

[AmeriBrit]

Travis was like that with talking, too. He'll be 4 in May and he still talks like a little old man. For example, we'll be driving along and from the back seat, he asks, "Is everyone OK up there?" LOL. He spoke a lot more than Cash does at his age. I know you're not supposed to compare your kids, but I do. Travis at 17 months could say things like, "Where daddy go?" or "This mummy car." Cash has a few words but has not put any together yet. One thing Cash is really good at, though, is singing. He can hum twinkle twinkle little star and bah bah black sheep as well as that theme music that Finn McMissile comes out to in Cars2 at the beginning of the movie. I'm really impressed with his musical ability.

Going back to the subject of parents saying things that stick with us, I can remember the one and only time I ever made a D! It was on a pop quiz in English and I accidentally conjugated the verb go by saying "has went" instead of "has gone." I had to get my dad to sign it and he looked at me and said someething like he couldn't believe I'd done that. I never did forget it's "has gone" after that! And I still cringe when I read it if other people write it that way!

[Bridget]

I was thinking about this thread today and the discussion about things our parents said. I remember one day coming home from school really, really upset because I'd been kicked out of the popular girl group for beating the queen bee in track tryouts for a spot on the relay team. They taunted me all day saying I was a big copycat for trying out in the first place. Of course I went right to my mom and told her my sob story but dad overheard the whole thing. I remember he was reading the comics when I (with much drama I am sure) flopped down on the living room couch. He said from behind the paper, "You just remember you can always come home." I didn't answer and he put down the paper and said, "You hear me? You walk in this door and you are always loved. Don't forget that when you are at school and those girls are mean to you."

I have never forgot that and thought of it often. In school. In college. In Hawaii. When dbf cheated and I though I was going to leave him.
My dad is pretty great.

[MashedUp]

I was thinking about this thread today and the discussion about things our parents said. I remember one day coming home from school really, really upset because I'd been kicked out of the popular girl group for beating the queen bee in track tryouts for a spot on the relay team. They taunted me all day saying I was a big copycat for trying out in the first place. Of course I went right to my mom and told her my sob story but dad overheard the whole thing. I remember he was reading the comics when I (with much drama I am sure) flopped down on the living room couch. He said from behind the paper, "You just remember you can always come home." I didn't answer and he put down the paper and said, "You hear me? You walk in this door and you are always loved. Don't forget that when you are at school and those girls are mean to you."

I have never forgot that and thought of it often. In school. In college. In Hawaii. When dbf cheated and I though I was going to leave him.
My dad is pretty great.

I guess we know where you get your awesomeness :wub:

[demigraf]

My parents were never mean, but they had a sort of gallows humor about things. It's also perhaps in our cultural psyche to tease. My mom comes from a province that eats dogs, for example, and though she'd only tasted it once, my dad used to call her "The Dogeater" now and then. She'd just giggle and roll her eyes. My dad was a chemical engineer, so that made him my chemistry tutor by default. He one time was so frustrated with me, he slapped his hand on the table and shouted, "I can't believe YOU'RE my daughter". I just said, "Oh yeah? Well maybe I'm not! Hah!" That pretty much broke his irritation with me and he smirked. To be fair, it was really hard on him to tutor me in English when it wasn't his first language.

Bridget, I am going to completely steal that from your father. That's so true. And bravo to him for voicing a fundamental thing all parents should say to their kids.

[raspberry]

I was thinking about this thread today and the discussion about things our parents said. I remember one day coming home from school really, really upset because I'd been kicked out of the popular girl group for beating the queen bee in track tryouts for a spot on the relay team. They taunted me all day saying I was a big copycat for trying out in the first place. Of course I went right to my mom and told her my sob story but dad overheard the whole thing. I remember he was reading the comics when I (with much drama I am sure) flopped down on the living room couch. He said from behind the paper, "You just remember you can always come home." I didn't answer and he put down the paper and said, "You hear me? You walk in this door and you are always loved. Don't forget that when you are at school and those girls are mean to you."

I have never forgot that and thought of it often. In school. In college. In Hawaii. When dbf cheated and I though I was going to leave him.
My dad is pretty great.

:wub:

[daylilies]

Aww Bridget. :wub:

So I had a messed up kind of day! I totally forgot Josh didn't have school, so I had 2 dr. appts. I had to bring Josh to. One was my therapist-I sure didn't get into many deep thoughts with Josh bouncing around. But I had to leave early anyway for my other appt, which I thought was with a GI (gastroentrologist). It was my first appt. so I filled out the paperwork with my GI problems in mind. Cited "frequent diarrhea" as the reason I was there. I got in there and met the dr. and told him I'd been having digestion issues and he said "So you've come to a neurologist?" *facepalm*

Turned out this is the guy I was supposed to be going to for my shunt, because it hasn't been checked up on in years, but he explained I'd be better off going to a neurosurgeon for that, which he is not, and furthermore, if I was not having any symptoms like headaches, vision problems, etc. then everything should be fine and dandy anyway and not to worry about it.

On the way out I crossed out "frequent diarrhea" on my paperwork and filled in "follow up on shunt" :laugh:

[AmeriBrit]

Bridget, that post about your dad made me cry. I am so hormonal lately!

[girlwonder]

I love that your dad said that, Bridget.

My stepmother said some pretty mean stuff to me. When I was 11, she looked at me "fondly" and said, "You're like the Ugly Duckling. I think you might be pretty when you grow up."

[Suja]

Bridget, your dad sounds *lovely*. Everyone should have at least one parent like that.

I heard all sorts of 'names' from my aunts (on dad's side). Scarecrow, beggar child, etc. No possibility of redemption there, by growing up and turning into a swan. I have forgiven them, but will never forget.

Oh, and I bet that visit to the neurologist makes it home to his dinner table conversation. 'Honey, this crazy lady came to me complaining of diarrhea...' :laugh:

[daylilies]

Oh well, it's probably not the first time I've been the topic at a doctor's dinner table. :laugh:

[Suja]

So, the UPS guy came a little while ago to deliver some stuff. Kid is on a toy phone, and goes:

"Hello, Daddy? UPS truck is here. Big brown truck. Went 'GRRROOOMM, GRRROOOMM'. Bring Paru toys, clothes, books, boxes...."

The kid thinks that every delivery that is made here is something for her. She isn't exactly wrong about that either. I let my fingers do the shopping a lot.

[daylilies]

LOL! Josh always asks if there was anything in the mail for him.

[Bridget]

:laugh:
Kate, that story is hilarious.

I have to eat my words after saying I avoid dept stores at all costs, or something like that. I went to Boston Store today! When my last daycare kids went home, her mom said that they were having a 75% off already marked down prices sale. At first I was like, eh, whatever. But then I started thinking I could really use a new pair of jeans. I just lost the last of my baby Sawyer weight and the one size bigger jeans I bought are now too big. I haven't shopped anywhere but goodwill in a long long time. Okay, enough justifying lol. I spent $80 and got myself 2 shirts, a winter coat, a pair of jeans, 2 pairs of tights and for dbt a robe, 3 shirts. Not bad.
The women that checked me out was beautiful. And Sawyer was majorly flirting. I've never seen anything like it. He was leaning out of my arms with his face stuck out to her and a huge cheesy grin on his face. Her and I were laughing so hard at how enamored he was. I noticed then when I stopped at the bank and the movie store that he didn't even glance at the men behind the counter. Little loverboy.

[Inca]

That is a very sweet thing your dad said. I wish my mom could have said something like that to me all those times I was getting picked on for being hairy (very thick eyebrows) or pudgy. The best thing she ever did regarding that was to take me to get waxed when I was maybe 13. In fact, part of my insecurity of being hairy came from her. She'd have friends over and say "Elizabeth, lift up your shirt so xyz can see how hairy your back is" WTF mom.

As for speech, Remy has always been behind and then every time I voice my concerns somewhere (like just recently I started a thread over in special needs), he surprises me and starts doing something new. Maybe it's just because when I think about it more, I become more in tune with him, and notice things more. Either way, he is getting better with stringing his words together. I do think a lot of it is repeated things, but then again a lot is made up. He was in speech for about 6 months before we stopped but we're going to get him re-evaluated at the end of March. I'm a nervous wreck thinking about him going to preschool, especially since I plan to homeschool. It tough trying to do what is best for them, but not really knowing what best is.

[daylilies]

I'm just exhausted today. I made stuffed mushrooms for dinner and after they were done I put them in the fridge and had a cup of coffee instead.

Bridget, what a little flirt Sawyer is!

I forgot to welcome the newcomers, Inca and I know there is one other, a few pages back. Don't be shy!
Love Remy's Boston shirt, Inca! (I'm from those parts)

[daylilies]

BTW Inca, I also like Remy's necklace-Josh has been asking for a necklace because I have one I wear all the time. I'd like to get one with a clasp so he can take it off at night. I might just go to the craft store and get the stuff to make one.

[Gwenn]

Bridget, I think your dad is amazing. :wub:

Kate, too funny! I would have been so embarrassed.

Speaking of doctors, I had a follow-up with my ortho doctor about my knee injury (remember, way back in September?) and was released! I'm officially healed! Of course, as soon as he handed me the workman's comp release form I felt a twinge of pain in my knee. Must be a deep psychological issue.

Suja, that little girl should be evaluated. She sounds like a child I would place in services to be blatantly honest.

Inca, really the best thing you can do regardless of what his issues are is to give him lots of reasons to communicate (don't anticipate everything), expect a response and model one if you don't get one. Also try to speak to him slightly above the language level he is using now (so if single words, model two-word combos and if two words, model three words with some grammar like -ing at the end). Read books together and talk about the book, instead of just reading the printed words. "Oh, look, I see the frog is jumping out of his pocket. Silly frog. What is the frog doing? He's hungry. Frog wants something to eat. Look! Frog is eating!" with lots of pointing to frog's actions and sharing the context. The printed words are secondary at this age. Keep it in a play or back-and-forth context and make it meaningful. He'll learn.

I just totally made that up about the frog. I have no idea where that came from. LOL.

[Bridget]

I'm trying to picture a frog eating.

I just realized today that Sawyer never plays with his toys. I have a basket of his toys in the living room and a basket of his toys in the daycare and they just sit there. He plays with the older kids' toys or with my kitchen stuff (pots, pans, measuring spoons).

[daylilies]

Yay Mandy! I'm glad your knee is healed. Sorry about the phantom pain though...It was probably just because you were thinking about it.

I'm looking at March and it looks like my GI appt. is then. I better double check before I go though. ;)

[missychrissy]

Bridget-your dad is absolutely awesome. I know you know that. I'm stealing that for my kids as well. :wub:

:hi: everyone. I feel like I'm missing out. I hope I get apa time (at least a little) at my new job. :(

[Gwenn]

Okay, I did realize that made no sense with the frog. Just go with it, okay? :laugh:

I think that's normal about playing with pots and pans and stuff. My mother always said we did that, too. Well, assuming I'm normal which I'm probably not.

[missychrissy]

My dad talks about playing with pots & pans when he was a kid. Grandma had a drawer of those he could play with. :P

[3andMe]

I think Gwenn has been reading these books: Frog Goes to Dinner (http://www.amazon.com/Frog-Goes-Dinner-Boy-Dog/dp/0803728840/ref=pd_sim_b_4) or Frog and Toad Together (http://www.amazon.com/Frog-Toad-Together-Read-Book/dp/0064440214).

From the review of the second book:


"You know, Toad," said Frog with his mouth full, "I think we should stop eating. We will soon be sick." "You are right," said Toad. "Let us eat one last cookie, and then we will stop." Many "last cookies" later, Frog and Toad come up with an ingenious solution to their uncontrolled cookie consumption.

I can identify.

[Gwenn]

:shame: L, I admit it. I own both of those books and use them in therapy. I do like frogs.

Okay, so, Frog Goes to Dinner and the other books in the series are in my opinion the best. therapy. books. ever. Inca, buy and use them.

ETA: One Frog Too Many (http://www.amazon.com/One-Frog-Too-Many-Boy/dp/0803728859/ref=pd_vtp_b_3) is my personal favorite.

[Suja]

Mandy - services? What does that mean?

I am really liking the description of these books, and it looks like two isn't too young for it. Am going to get some for Mira. If there are other books you guys like for your kids, let me know. A kid can never have too many books.

[Gwenn]

Speech therapy services. Sorry.

The good dog Carl books are similar to the Frog books but a little simple and probably more appropriate for a 2-year-old. I use those a lot, too. Also the other books by Mercer Mayer are also good. So much complexity in the drawings, so always something to point out and talk about.

[3andMe]

We have One Frog Too Many, too. I realized with the new shelf system (I counted) we have 231 kid books in the twins' room. I'm really glad I gave a big stack of them away to their school and to some of our neighborhood kids. And that's not all the kid books in the house. I told you guys I was running out of room!

[Gwenn]

Blue Hat Green Hat (http://www.amazon.com/Blue-Hat-Green-Boynton-Board/dp/0671493205) is one of my favorites for the little ones who aren't talking much yet.

[daylilies]

Speaking of stories. I picked up our Oz book (we're on The Lost Princess of Oz, I don't think we're reading in the correct order anymore but I don't think it matters so much after all)

Josh said to me, "Put that book down." So I did and I got into bed with him. He told me a story! I wish I had got it on video. It was about an animal trying to find a home. The end got a little strange and didn't make sense, LOL

So then he wanted me to tell one so I told a similar story about a turtle who was trying to find a home. "Don't tell me the same story, mom" he said. I said "oh it'll be different" and I told him about how he looked in all kinds of homes, a person's home, a cat's litter box, in trees, except he couldn't climb trees, etc. and everyone kicked him out, then he realized he had a home on his back. Josh was very pleased.

[Gwenn]

Awww...

[demigraf]

That's what thought too, Kate. Awww! Josh is so sweet.

I'm in bed with our little guy now too, and he's hugging a stuffed kangaroo in one arm and "Fattus Cattus" (who was left behind by some rocker chicks at DH's old studio) in the other. B was telling me he couldn't fall asleep, so I told him to try to help the kangaroo and Fattus get to sleep. I guess the task tuckered him out.

His Nana in MA just sent him Richard Scarry's 'Things That Go', which B refers to as the "Goldbug book" because you have to find him on every page. I like it for being silly and having a fairly involved story, for it being a lot of pictures. He loves it, wants to read it every night, and according to DH's mom, it was DH's favorite book as a toddler too.

I am excited for this week to be over. We are meeting up with friends at the Chinese New Year parade in San Fran's Chinatown to celebrate their daughter's 3rd birthday. And for the same little girl, we're going to a dyeing party on Sunday to cut Waldorf-style play silks for all our kids and will dye them with Kool Aid. Bodhi should love running down the beach with one trailing behind him (and I'll like taking pictures). He's really starting to enjoy flying a kite (with our help), I hope his silk will keep him as fascinated.

[AmeriBrit]

I'll have to check out those frog books; they sound really entertaining. Travis' favourites right now are Dirty Berty, which is about a little boy with bad manners, and Little Stinker, which is about a cheeky little fish that has gas trouble. Lol. We definitely need some new books around here. I think I'll have to browse Amazon to see if I can find any deals and go to the many charity shops that we have in town to see what books they have to offer. I've started working a little bit with Travis on phonics and sight words. I'd love for him to be able to read some time soon, but I know he'll do it in his own time eventually.

[AbbeysMom]

Speaking of stories. I picked up our Oz book (we're on The Lost Princess of Oz, I don't think we're reading in the correct order anymore but I don't think it matters so much after all)

Josh said to me, "Put that book down." So I did and I got into bed with him. He told me a story! I wish I had got it on video. It was about an animal trying to find a home. The end got a little strange and didn't make sense, LOL

So then he wanted me to tell one so I told a similar story about a turtle who was trying to find a home. "Don't tell me the same story, mom" he said. I said "oh it'll be different" and I told him about how he looked in all kinds of homes, a person's home, a cat's litter box, in trees, except he couldn't climb trees, etc. and everyone kicked him out, then he realized he had a home on his back. Josh was very pleased.

Aw. :wub: I love when they make up stories! About a month ago Abbey told me a story about a butterfly family where the baby was lost and couldn't find her parents, and the little butterfly was very scared and 'needed her mommy'. My pregnancy hormones and the cuteness of the whole thing got to me and I started to cry :shame: so Abbey quickly changed the tone... it turned out the little butterflies mommy was there all along, lol.

[MashedUp]

I'm just exhausted today. I made stuffed mushrooms for dinner and after they were done I put them in the fridge and had a cup of coffee instead.

Bridget, what a little flirt Sawyer is!

I forgot to welcome the newcomers, Inca and I know there is one other, a few pages back. Don't be shy!
Love Remy's Boston shirt, Inca! (I'm from those parts)

Hi! it was me :hi:. I don't have time to get on APA at night, so I'm only really on while I'm at work. Shhh! I'm from new england too, Maine.

[missychrissy]

:wub: There's nothing sweeter than those little ones telling us the stories. I love how Abbey changed it up so that you wouldn't be upset! What a darling! Conner is still all about dinosaurs and they're the only books he will tolerate having read to him. I'm sure I'm totally jacking up some of the pronunciations and he's going to go to school and learn his mom is a twit. He'll probably figure that out eventually.

I learned one of my 4th grade teachers passed away the day before yesterday. I either had her for English or Reading, I can't remember which, but she was the teacher that let me write a report on Elvis, What Happened? A pretty mature book for a 9-ish year old. She loved it though and I got an A. Anyway, she was also my girls' teacher as well. She was Bobbie's homeroom teacher and one of her favorites, and Jesi had her for math. I can't believe how fast time has gone...I think about being in her class and while it feels like it was some time ago, it also feels like it was pretty recent. And then my own kids had come and gone too. She really was an amazing teacher.

[MashedUp]

I'm going to have to look for some of these books. After I read her a bed time book, Macie always wants to read it to me. It's so cute to watch her flip through the pages and try to remember what parts of the story go with which pages, and what she interprets from the book.

I have a funeral to go to tomorrow. My mom's best friends DH. I've known him my entire life, I was best friends with their youngest daughter through high school. Not looking forward to it. :(

[missychrissy]

:hugs: How sad.

[demigraf]

Lisa, I'm sorry for your loss. :(

[MashedUp]

Thank you.

[AmeriBrit]

I'm sorry to hear about your losses, Lisa and Chrissy.

One of my English teachers from when I was 11 died just recently of cancer and she was only 46. It really hit home for me.

Molly, that's really sweet about Abbey. She's looking after her momma's feelings. :)

Gosh, y'all, I am in such a bad mood today. I want to just hit the fast forward button and get to tomorrow already so that I can start over. Cash has not been well, so he's been keeping me up all through the night for the past 3 nights. I'm still not over the cough and sore throat. I still have a pulled muscle in my side as well, so overall, I am one cranky lady today. Oh, and to add on top of all that, Travis is still being a little swine lately with his sassiness and miserableness. My patience is running on low today. I even had a brownie and a latte to try to cheer myself up but that didn't work. I feel like I need to workout to get some negative energy out of me, but with the pulled muscle, I am not up to much other than carrying 2 whiney boys around. So, I'll end this post with a bah humbug for now.

[AbbeysMom]

:hugs: to Lisa and Chrissy, I'm sorry for your losses.

Ash, can you go swimming? I don't know if they have community pools over the pond, ha. But that might help your muscle and get some exercise, and wear the sassiness out of your boys too.

[MashedUp]

AbbeysMom, (sorry, I don't know everyone's names yet) I really like your response in Bridgets thread about religion in daycare. I feel the exact same way about the impact of religion on our world and history.

[daylilies]

Hugs, Lisa and Chrissy. :(

Sorry Ash, I hope this day goes fast for you!

I just got an e mail from the director of religious education at my church (I'm a Unitarian Universalist, for the newcomers) about possibly helping to start up an ethical eating program for 1st to 6th graders where we come up with activities for them to do about healthy and ethical eating. I felt like with my cooking background I couldn't not sign up even though I'm not really active in the church anymore. Who knows, maybe this will help me find my niche.

[Cosmosmom]

Lisa, sorry for your loss.

Chrissy, I had some great teachers in school and it's always sad and strange to think of them as gone. I wish my kid could have gone to my old grade school and had a few of them.

Ash, sorry that you aren't feeling well and hurting AND the boys are being a handful.

L, wow that is a LOT of kids books! I only have a handful so far.....course adult books or YA, different story. Though it is getting less and less as I rarely buy them anymore and just use the public library. Will be interesting to see how many I accumulate with a baby. I already have a list started at Amazon. :)

Kate, your story and Josh's are so cute. Good for you to think of the turtle already having his home on his back.... And I'm sure that it was a frustrating day yesterday but I have to admit that it's a bit funny too.

I'm another sicko over here. Got the cough now. And DH is sick. And tomorrow we have to leave at 5:15am to get to Cosmo's ophthalomology appt in the twin cities. I normally get up at 6:50 or 7am....not 4am.
I'm just not looking forward to tomorrow.
Plus DH's work has been really slow lately and they have been doing a number of 4 day weeks instead of 5 days and sending home people that are still through the staffing agency. DH is not, at 4 years there he's got some of the highest seniority. But he's a bit concerned that if things don't pick up (and it's been projected to be slow through June) that layoffs might happen. He was one that stayed on when they did this last time when the economy first crashed so I would think that he would probably not be high on the list to layoff.....he never calls in sick, not a slacker and cares about the parts being good quality....and he's a cheaper employee being that he's on my health insurance. But still liked it better and felt more stability when it was mandatory OT. If he did get laid off, the adoption would have to go on hold for sure.

[missychrissy]

Oh Jennifer I hope it doesn't come to them laying your dh off! It sounds like he's a great worker so I don't think he'll be anywhere near the first to be cut.

I'm sorry you're not feeling well. I hope you feel tons better by tomorrow. I think I'd cry if I had to get up at 4:00 am!

[missychrissy]

I just got an e mail from the director of religious education at my church (I'm a Unitarian Universalist, for the newcomers) about possibly helping to start up an ethical eating program for 1st to 6th graders where we come up with activities for them to do about healthy and ethical eating. I felt like with my cooking background I couldn't not sign up even though I'm not really active in the church anymore. Who knows, maybe this will help me find my niche.

Oh wow Kate! That's excellent!! It sounds like a great fit for you!

[daylilies]

They still need a couple more people to sign up if it's to happen, though. I hope it happens.

[Cosmosmom]

Yeah I don't think it will get that far but of you sometimes can't help but think of worst case.

I am so not happy about the early day tomorrow. But it's one day so I can deal. It will be good to find out what is wrong with her eyes and what if anything we can do for it.

Kate I think that group sounds good and that would be the best way to get to know people and fit in. I hope that they find a few more people. Plus that topic is so right for a UU group of kids. :)

[Inca]

We have TONS of kids books here too, and no real place to store them! Ugh! I don't even want to count, it's pretty ridiculous. We have to read for a good 30 minutes before bed otherwise Remy will freak out and won't go to bed. Boy loves his books. (Just like his mommy) But sadly, I haven't had a chance to get to the library since Seren was born, so I normally end up falling asleep almost as soon as I get her to sleep. Eh, such is life.

[demigraf]

I confess I checked out all of Bridget's thread and had a very self-centered response. I mean, in addition to agreeing with you girls, and wanting to give pepperlu a big wet smooch for her response to the woman who didn't see where she might
have been offensive...what crossed my mind was what rich APA lives you have outside this room. What interesting dialogues you have, and what grace is summoned in representing your secular viewpoints. A part of me felt a pang of regret that I haven't involved myself more out there. I'm not quite sure where I'd find the time, though. The half hour it took me to read the 6 pages cost me a trip to the grocery to buy stuff to make enchiladas out of other stuff that'll go bad tonight. I didn't even feel the time passing, and that was just one thread. That was a very tangible loss, considering my family is stuck with "stuff" soup again. ;) So can I just share my appreciation for you and give you all a great big

:hug:

Love you girls! (Bridget, of course you are handling it appropriately and having a deliberate conversation is the best approach, in my mind).

[Inca]

Speaking of which, have you talked to that child's parents yet Bridget? How did it go, if so?

[Cosmosmom]

We have TONS of kids books here too, and no real place to store them! Ugh! I don't even want to count, it's pretty ridiculous. We have to read for a good 30 minutes before bed otherwise Remy will freak out and won't go to bed. Boy loves his books. (Just like his mommy) But sadly, I haven't had a chance to get to the library since Seren was born, so I normally end up falling asleep almost as soon as I get her to sleep. Eh, such is life.

We have some ladies in here who love to read too. :)

But um you have a new baby....probably most people wouldn't be getting to the library, especially in the winter with a new baby! I mean my new baby is a puppy and can be left home alone in her kennel....and I still haven't been doing as much as we used to, including going to the library (well the public library....I go to my work library 5 days a week). LOL I am just lucky and we have a used book cart at work so when something good (to me at least) comes in, I sneak if and put it in my desk drawer and I now have a drawer full of books. so I have been getting through some of those books and getting them back on the cart for others to read.

We just got this book in the library and I thought it looked interesting.....especially since in the past many of us have said that in IRL we tend to be more introverts.
http://www.amazon.com/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352145/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1328826171&sr=8-1

[daylilies]

That book looks good Jennifer!

I guess I'm an introvert. My problem with talking in real life is I stammer a lot and I don't think I'm interesting to listen to and when I talk I really can see people's eyes wandering or glazing over, so I sense the disinterest and stop. When I "talk" online I don't see any of that so I feel free to keep blabbing on. :laugh:

[3andMe]

Have any of you ever read this article?

Caring for your Introvert (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/)

I, like the author, enjoy getting out and socializing, but I find it draining, and the best way to recharge my batteries is to spend quiet time in solitude. DH is the same way. My sister is the exact opposite, and absolutely cannot understand why my preference is to have quiet birthday dinners or nature walks instead of being surrounded by 30 of my closest friends.

[Bridget]

Speaking of which, have you talked to that child's parents yet Bridget? How did it go, if so?
She just left! I talked to her. I basically stressed that I don't get involved in the conversations unless they argue at which point I stress the beauty of diversity. And that anything her daughter may come home saying comes from mouths of babes and not from the mouth of Bridget:) It was a very pleasant conversation and she said had no problems with it and would handle it the same way I am. *Phew*
Thanks for asking!

Mylah, :wub:

[Gwenn]

Have any of you ever read this article?

Caring for your Introvert (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/)

I, like the author, enjoy getting out and socializing, but I find it draining, and the best way to recharge my batteries is to spend quiet time in solitude. DH is the same way. My sister is the exact opposite, and absolutely cannot understand why my preference is to have quiet birthday dinners or nature walks instead of being surrounded by 30 of my closest friends.

That's me exactly.

Bridget, I'm so glad the talk went well. Of course she would understand.

[demigraf]

Your library has good books, Jennifer! On that topic...I've been mistaken for an extrovert so many times in my life that I've recently started to wonder if I am one. Reading the interview w/ the author, though, reaffirmed my assumption that I'm an introvert. I am fairly active and animated around others, and generally not shy, but I need my time alone. That could explain why I prefer solitary sports and my favorite travel experiences have been solo ones.

I'm really interested in reading that book now. Thanks for sharing, Jennifer. I have read this book, http://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/0743280741/ref=mp_s_a_1?qid=1328832074&sr=8-1 , which might be a good companion to yours. I realize that introversion doesn't necessarily go hand in hand with liking to do things on one's own, but I have a feeling the books share a similar sentiment.

[missychrissy]

I totally missed what you were going through Bridget and I want to read all about it. Is it in New Moms? I'm confident that your way was the 'right' way because you're just that kind. No, I don't think you're perfect, but I know you put a lot of thought into other people's feelings and you're a caring, tactful person.

Tomorrow is my last day at my 'old' job. I expect it will be full of tears. :cry:

[daylilies]

I really don't know what I am. I can talk a blue streak about things I'm passionate about or feel like I have a good grasp of. But I don't keep up well with chats about current events, politics or other things people I know typically talk about because I just can't form a coherent opinion on the spot about certain things. The benefit of posting online is that I can take as long as I need to post something, go back and edit, etc.

[demigraf]

On 2nd thought, I'm kinda surprised at the author's assertion that introverts are more cooperative. I'm guessing she has studies to back that up. I know "introvert" isn't synonymous with "recluse", but the most
reclusive people I know are super grumps who avoid others specifically because they want to have everything their own way.
Just a thought...

[missychrissy]

I think I'm a natural introvert that's learned to be comfortable as an extrovert. I enjoy people and Kate, if we were together in a park, I'd talk about things like the sunshine or how scary looking the swings looked or whatever. Making conversation with people isn't often a struggle for me. It really only is if they clearly don't want to talk (snobs!). I'm totally comfortable in silence though and don't feel pressure to talk nonstop.

I do need alone time to recharge though. I appreciate long car rides with words unspoken.

[Gwenn]

That's a good point, Myles. Extroverts can be very accomodating because they want to please everyone. Or they can be very aggressive, Type A. I don't think introvert/extrovert has much to do with cooparation.

[missychrissy]

That's a good point, Myles. Extroverts can be very accomodating because they want to please everyone. Or they can be very aggressive, Type A. I don't think introvert/extrovert has much to do with cooparation.

Me either.

[Gwenn]

Ugh, I didn't notice I misspelled that word and you quoted me! Now it's preserved forever!

[Inca]

Yay! Sounds like you had a great conversation with her mom!

There is a program at my library where I can search the whole state's database and if they don't have it at my library they will ship it in and I can check it out for up to 6 weeks I think (1 re-check allowed) and I used to do that ALL the time because even with just Remy it was hard to pick out a book without him running off somewhere. The trouble is now actually GETTING to the library. I'm lucky if I make it out of the house more than once a week. Actually, it pretty much is only once a week to go Grocery shopping on Sundays. Sometimes I can go somewhere else Saturday but then I feel like I wasted a day that I could have been relaxing.

[daylilies]

I can go a long time without speaking to anyone. DH calls them uncomfortable silences but I don't feel that way. When I'm standing around at the playground though and parents are near me I struggle to think of something to say and I start getting worried that they think I'm a snob and then I realize, well they're not talking to me either! So maybe we're both snobs. LOL

There's a library right next door to Josh's preschool, so we're there almost every day. There's a cute educational program on their computer that Josh plays with almost every time we go. I'm not sure how often we'll go when he's going to a different school next year. I think they start bringing the kids to the school library to take things out in K or 1st grade though.

[raspberry]

thanks everyone for the book recommendations, I added them to my list. Every week I request book from the library using my card and Gilly's card, we walk out of there with stacks of books. It's nice to always have new books to read, of course G has his favorites, but I like new ones every night.

Chrissy, good luck with tomorrow. I know it will be hard to say goodbye to everyone. *hugs*

On the whole introvert side, I am definitely introverted but like Chrissy, I have adapted to become more outgoing. When I was younger, I used to always wait for the other person to make the first move, I would smile, but I used to wait until I was spoken to first. Well it's clear my son is not like me at all. Today at the park, he was playing in the covered sand area, when children would walk in, he would stand up and smile and say, hi my name is Gilly, do you want to play??? My heart actually skipped a beat, as I thought that is my kid. I think G is destined to be a class clown too, oy, last night we had a family dinner for my brother's birthday. Gilly was talking to people around the table "hey guys I have a joke" and of course he was making up the the silliest jokes, and then laughing at his great wit.

I would love to be more extroverted, like my mom. My mom was a people person, it came so naturally to her. She would walk down the grocery store aisles whistling, and someone would comment, oh I like that song, and she was off and running. It would take her hours to grocery shop, she knew everyone by the time she left the store. I think because my mom was just so much fun, and because I miss her so much, I long to be that people person.

[missychrissy]

I think because my mom was just so much fun, and because I miss her so much, I long to be that people person.
:hugs:

Conner is like Gilly. He'll go right up to another kid and say, "I'm a dinosaur!" or whatever he's playing that day. He plays with anyone. I love it.

I don't know if being an introvert has anything to do with shyness, but when I was growing up I was definitely both of those. Now I really don't have a problem starting conversations with random strangers and I do it all the time. I never get nervous for job interviews and I won't be nervous for my first day of my new job. I like people and I like talking to them, hearing their stories, seeing what they're like. I find people interesting. I can also people watch for long periods of time. I think sometimes you can tell more about a person by just watching them than by talking to them.

[girlwonder]

I have been giving people that article for years - it is one of my absolute favorite pieces ever and describes me perfectly. I wish more people understood introverts.


Have any of you ever read this article?

Caring for your Introvert (http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2003/03/caring-for-your-introvert/2696/)

I, like the author, enjoy getting out and socializing, but I find it draining, and the best way to recharge my batteries is to spend quiet time in solitude. DH is the same way. My sister is the exact opposite, and absolutely cannot understand why my preference is to have quiet birthday dinners or nature walks instead of being surrounded by 30 of my closest friends.

[Bridget]

I am definitely an introvert and I dealt with that by drinking excessive amounts of alcohol and becoming very friendly and outgoing. Now I dread social situations (except with family, close friends) to the point where I often hope they get cancelled but I always end up having more fun than I thought i would. I am really bad at small talk though. Like the, "hi how are you i'm fine how are you". I prefer to skip all that and just go straight to observations about the actual moment. I often feel like I'm getting asked alot of questions right when I meet someone and I am not asking enough. I just don't feel the need to get all the logistics out of the way right away. In time we can find out the details about each other, you know? It would be nice for when any of us meet, because we won't need to ask all the typical first meeting questions that people ask each other.

You guys. Savana just continuously trips me out. I mean, is it normal for your own childs behaviour to be so confounding? So her room is tiny. She has her loft bed on one wall, a little wooden waldorf style kitchen on one, and a big babydoll cradle on the other. She uses the kitchen only to pile stuff on and inside and she uses the bed as a toybox basically. I have casually mentioned to her several times that I'd like her kitchen to let Sawyer use, or if we moved the doll bed she'd have room to put something that she actually uses into her room, just generally trying to move her in the direction of filling her room with things that are useful to her at the stage of her life she is in. She pretty much wants to draw and write all the time, and go through her collections. Any time i mention this she in knock down drag out that she will NOT change anything. She HATES my idea. It's HERS and she loves it because it's special to her and she does NOT want anyone else playing with it and on and on and on, often involving tears.
Today at breakfast I told her I was going to organize her room but I didn't want to do it without letting her know. Basically she told me she heard me but she didn't want to discuss it. Ok. I took out the kitchen and put it into the corner of the living room where Sawyer's basket is. I moved the baby bed downstairs to the daycare. I moved a little desk into her room, and shelves onto which I put plastic little bins with covers and all of her collections, games, art supplies.
Seriously, i was so nervous for her to come home. When she is not happy it can drag on for the whole evening. Hours. She came home and said nothing. Nothing. Hung out in her room, totally checking everything out. I went in and asked her if she liked and she was like, "yeah, it's cool. I like it."
Not a word about the kitchen or the bed. Not. A. Word.
It's like she needs me to do it when she's not here? Is that it? She needs to not even see it happening? Had she been here it would have been hyperventilating WWIII and that is hardly stretching the truth. Whew that was long. Sorry. Nothing is by the book with this girl.

[Gwenn]

I'm glad it worked out. That must have been hard waiting to see how she'd take it.

[Suja]

Need to vent. So, DH was supposed to fly out tonight so he could be with his father when they are going to attempt to kill the tumor on his liver. He goes to the airport, and it turns out, there is a stupid new rule, according to which he cannot go back for two months. We've only been back for a month, and it has taken until now to re-book his tickets (airline folks have gone home), and no confirmation until tomorrow morning. Which he needs to go get an emergency exemption, so he can fly out on Saturday. If for some reason tomorrow doesn't work out, he can try again on Saturday. The exemption is discretionary, so we're keeping our fingers crossed on this one. Oh, and the $$$s is adding up. Let's hope we don't have to pull th plug on the whole thing.

I was really hoping that this year would be less stressful than last year, but I swear, this sort of thing is shortening my lifespan. Nothing ever seems to work out.

[girlwonder]

I hope the exemption comes through quickly, Suja. XO

[Gwenn]

Oh, what a nightmare! I hope you are able to get the exemption, and soon.

[demigraf]

That's way too restrictive, Suja. I'm appalled at that rule. There are too many people in your husband's situation who need the freedom to move where they need to be, and some don't have the luxury of time to wait a few days and see if they might get permission. Is it India's rule, or the US'?

[Suja]

It's an Indian rule. The problem is that when we applied for our visas, there was only a 'Tourist' visa, which now has this stupid restriction. There is now an 'Entry' visa, which is not so restrictive. The government cites 'abuse of tourist visa'. What the fudge?

[Gwenn]

That's the stupidest thing I've ever heard. So sorry you're dealing with that.

[3andMe]

I hope your DH can cut through the red tape and go soon, Suja!

Bridget, that must have been baffling! I'm glad you were able to rearrange, though.

I kept my kids home from school today. It sounded like a TB ward here today. DH has been sleeping on the couch for, I don't know, maybe two weeks? because he's been coughing so much it keeps me and S. awake. Finally the twins got it.

I have to share an exchange I had tonight with dh. It was his birthday last week, my birthday on Tuesday, and our anniversary this weekend, so we're having our annual date day soon. I was talking to him about it.

Me: I downloaded Mom for our date day next Tuesday.
DH: Downloaded? A Mom?
Me: Yeah. Do you have the bandwidth to talk about it right now?
DH: Um, sure. I guess.
Me: Because if you don't have the RAM to deal with making arrangements right now, we can deal with it later.
DH: What are you talking about?
Me: I figure we live in the Bay Area, we need to get with the times and interject some more technical jargon into our conversation.
DH: You need to stop this now. You are being E-nnoying.
Me: Uncontrollable giggling.
Me: Still giggling.
Me: Fo'shizzle, ma hizzle. Wha'tizzle.
DH: Big sigh.

[demigraf]

You both have a very byte-ing sense of humor. :P

[demigraf]

Just finished last night's episode of 30 Rock, which abounded with IKEA jokes. Liz approaches a clerk for help, and his first words are "Silence, prisoner!... I mean... how can I help you?" A quick Google search on "30 rock ikea" turned up a treasure trove of past episodes with them having fun with the store. I have always felt the place was a comedy goldmine, with even just the umlaut madness that is half their product names.

[demigraf]

Btw, Shelley, Gilly sounds super-cute. :) That's a great little extrovert you have on your hands.

Bridget, Savana's reaction was really interesting, if you ask me. Maybe she strongly resists change, but adapts easily when it's already done. Some adults are like that. I'm kinda like that.

Chrissy, with your new job, I'm hoping that's how it'll be for you too. Please try to enjoy your last day and the feeling that all those little PITA things you disliked about the place will no longer be your problem. :hugs:

Suja, I'll keep fingers crossed for you that they make an exception for your DH.

[MashedUp]

I can't figure out if I'm an introvert or extrovert. I have a hard time going up to someone I don't know and starting a conversation, unless there is something obvious to talk about. For example, if I'm at BRU and see a pregnant woman puzzling over the baby carriers, I have no problem going up to her and giving her some info. But random mom standing near me at the park, usually I'm silent. But, I am very outgoing around people I know. And I have no problem leading meetings of 5-15 people at work where I am the sole person talking for an hour or more. So, no stage fright. I think most people who know me would call me an extrovert I guess.

Bridget, I am glad that your daycare situation worked out so well. I wish my provider would open up and just talk to me about it. She isn't very good at communicating though. Savana sounds like such an interesting little girl, I'd love to meet her!

Lydia, your conversation made me laugh!

Suja, I hope your DH is able to travel soon.

Chrissy, good luck with your new job!

[missychrissy]

:hugs: Bridget, I'm glad it worked out in the end. I would be just as baffled about it too. Have you asked her if she'd prefer you handled things like that without her there?

I can kind of relate to her a little. My father has had most my toys (and bicycle) and his wife wanted to clean them out. When she asked me if I wanted them, I said yes. They're mine!! Even though I haven't seen them in 20 years, it didn't matter when she asked me. Her being her, though, she never got around to bringing the box to me. I know they're gone. And it's ok. If I would have seen them there's no way I could have tossed them or given them away. Even at my age.


I was really hoping that this year would be less stressful than last year, but I swear, this sort of thing is shortening my lifespan. Nothing ever seems to work out.

How incredibly frustrating. I really hope he can get the exemption and go really soon. And as for this line, yeah. I can soooo relate. :(



Me: I downloaded Mom for our date day next Tuesday.
DH: Downloaded? A Mom?
Me: Yeah. Do you have the bandwidth to talk about it right now?
DH: Um, sure. I guess.
Me: Because if you don't have the RAM to deal with making arrangements right now, we can deal with it later.
DH: What are you talking about?
Me: I figure we live in the Bay Area, we need to get with the times and interject some more technical jargon into our conversation.
DH: You need to stop this now. You are being E-nnoying.
Me: Uncontrollable giggling.
Me: Still giggling.
Me: Fo'shizzle, ma hizzle. Wha'tizzle.
DH: Big sigh.

This is hysterical! :wub:

[Bridget]

Lydia, that conversation is hilarious. Oh to be a mouse in the corner at your house!
Chrissy, I just told Savana that I was really proud of the way she handled her room change since I know change is hard for her. It's like she really does not want to discuss it though. So I'm just going to let it go and be thankful for the ease in this particular situation. I know what you mean though, about not being able to be the one to throw away your stuff. When my mom stopped her cancer treatments she passed out to my brothers and me all of our school work she kept over the years. If she had tossed it i don't think I'd have even known it was gone but now that I have it I can't throw it away.

You guys. Last night I pulled out all my jeans from pre-pregnancy! They FIT. Like, totally fit. Not even tightly. I know self worth is not reflected by the scale but I feel like a million dollars wearing my old jeans today :)

[missychrissy]

:hooray: Bridget-that's awesome about fitting your prepregnancy jeans!! I think that's the ultimate goal we mommies have soon after we give birth.

[MashedUp]

Yay for pre-preggo jeans! I'm just getting into mine too, and it's awesome!