Secular Confessions [Archive] - Page 109 - American Pregnancy Association

Ky'sMom

01-02-2012, 06:47 PM

Ky is very disappointed that school does not start until Wednesday for the new semester. He said he is bored at home since our cousin Brandon left. I always invite kids over for Ky to hang with when he is on an extended break so he won't be too bored by me. I always will find something he doesn't like to do if he tells me he is bored and sometimes I feel bad about that but honestly I figure he has a good imagination and has lots of toys and our yard and even Elle to play with, even though he told me that she is starting to annoy him LOL! But usually if he tells me he is bored I'll have him wash dishes or do laundry or iron or some other chore he doesn't like to do. I find it encourages him to find something fun to do on his own, but he misses his friends at school and wants to tell them about his Christmas and what he did and such so I can't blame him.

I have to go back to work tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it much. I got a 10K raise supposedly starting this year but really I am getting sick of the people I have to work with and especially my bosses need to make everything a priority. She gave me a 2 out of 5 on my review before Christmas in regards to "working with a sense of urgency." To which I wanted to roll my eyes. She wants me to be all panicky I guess but I figure if you ask me to do something and I do it before the deadline then that should be enough. If I wanted to work as an actress I'd go try out for a play or something. Sigh....I am thinking I need to step up my look for work but really the job market still is not that great and luckily my boss doesn't come to work but maybe twice a week because she lives 80 miles away and it takes her over 2 hours to get to work, but then she will send me idiotic emails all day about did I do this or that when I have already confirmed I did do whatever it is she asked me to do. But I will just go ahead and tough it out and try not to pay her too much attention.

Erin

Gwenn

01-02-2012, 07:02 PM

Ugh, Erin. I have to back tomorrow, too. I know what you mean about just toughing it out. So long as I can manage to not deal with our dept head or one of her office staff, my job is delightful. I had a nice break, but I'm not ready for it to be over.

girlwonder

01-02-2012, 07:40 PM

I got a 10K raise supposedly starting this year but really I am getting sick of the people I have to work with and especially my bosses need to make everything a priority. She gave me a 2 out of 5 on my review before Christmas in regards to "working with a sense of urgency." To which I wanted to roll my eyes. She wants me to be all panicky I guess but I figure if you ask me to do something and I do it before the deadline then that should be enough. If I wanted to work as an actress I'd go try out for a play or something. Sigh....I am thinking I need to step up my look for work but really the job market still is not that great and luckily my boss doesn't come to work but maybe twice a week because she lives 80 miles away and it takes her over 2 hours to get to work, but then she will send me idiotic emails all day about did I do this or that when I have already confirmed I did do whatever it is she asked me to do. But I will just go ahead and tough it out and try not to pay her too much attention.

Erin

I got fired from a job because I didn't appear to be panicked all day long. That was one of the reasons at least.

daylilies

01-02-2012, 08:21 PM

How strange that people want you to be stressed out at work. I guess that's why I never liked cooking though. The low quality establishments are all about speed and accuracy and no quality and the high end places want all three. You can't win!

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 05:16 AM

omg Erin! I'm shocked that she only gave you a 2 out of 5. She sounds like a nutjob. I'm glad you got the 10k raise, but sometimes it's not about the $ at all. :hugs:

Myles, I cannot believe you got fired for not looking panicked enough. (I believe you, I'm just stunned). People never cease to amaze me.

I'm supposed to return to work today, but I have my head shrink appointment instead. It's an intake only, so no real therapy will get done. Depending on what time I get done (and what the weather is doing), I may or may not go to work after. I think I'll be there from 9:30-12, and my work is an hour away. It doesn't seem worth it, but I don't want to waste all my sick hours either.

AbbeysMom

01-03-2012, 05:49 AM

My MIL (who lives 6+ hours away) once dropped by with 15 minutes notice because she didn't want me to clean up for her. She nearly gave me a heart attack, trying to clean the whole house in 15 minutes. I don't think I have ever quite forgiven her for that. Who makes a 6 1/2 hour road trip to visit someone without any notice? What if we had been out of town?

I have not talked to the teachers yet. We haven't been back to school yet. We're still on Christmas break. Tomorrow is their first day back.

My MIL does that too. When she lived 3 hours away she would call and say she was "One her way to see us" after two hours of driving. Now that she's 12 hours away, she just changes up what day she'll get here. Like for Christmas when she called to say she'd be here a day earlier, the same day she got here. But in my case my MIL is pretty awesome, and I think the no-notice thing is just her wanting to see Abbey rightthisminute. Anyone who loves my daughter like that makes me happy. :)

Ky is very disappointed that school does not start until Wednesday for the new semester. He said he is bored at home since our cousin Brandon left. I always invite kids over for Ky to hang with when he is on an extended break so he won't be too bored by me. I always will find something he doesn't like to do if he tells me he is bored and sometimes I feel bad about that but honestly I figure he has a good imagination and has lots of toys and our yard and even Elle to play with, even though he told me that she is starting to annoy him LOL! But usually if he tells me he is bored I'll have him wash dishes or do laundry or iron or some other chore he doesn't like to do. I find it encourages him to find something fun to do on his own, but he misses his friends at school and wants to tell them about his Christmas and what he did and such so I can't blame him.

I have to go back to work tomorrow and I am not looking forward to it much. I got a 10K raise supposedly starting this year but really I am getting sick of the people I have to work with and especially my bosses need to make everything a priority. She gave me a 2 out of 5 on my review before Christmas in regards to "working with a sense of urgency." To which I wanted to roll my eyes. She wants me to be all panicky I guess but I figure if you ask me to do something and I do it before the deadline then that should be enough. If I wanted to work as an actress I'd go try out for a play or something. Sigh....I am thinking I need to step up my look for work but really the job market still is not that great and luckily my boss doesn't come to work but maybe twice a week because she lives 80 miles away and it takes her over 2 hours to get to work, but then she will send me idiotic emails all day about did I do this or that when I have already confirmed I did do whatever it is she asked me to do. But I will just go ahead and tough it out and try not to pay her too much attention.

Erin

2/5 ?!! I'm sorry your boss is crazy. :hugs: Why would she want everyone around her to be unnecessarily stressed out? Maybe she's trying to make up for the fact that she's MIA most of the time by appearing really busy and overwhelmed while she's there.

Myles, I cannot believe you got fired for not looking panicked enough.

That was Katy, not Myles. Actually, where the heck is Myles? :hi: wherever you are, and hope you are doing OK! :hugs:

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 05:51 AM

That was Katy, not Myles. Actually, where the heck is Myles? :hi: wherever you are, and hope you are doing OK! :hugs:

D'oh...obviously I'm not awake yet. I do know the difference between them. :P

AbbeysMom

01-03-2012, 06:09 AM

Ugh, Lydia, that would bother me. I actually remember sort of enjoying school but still would much rather have stayed home with my mom. I loved the weekends and dreaded monday. In fact, I do remember praying to god at night to make the night last really, really long so that I'd not have to go to school so soon. But while I was actually at school I'm pretty sure I enjoyed myself. Because of those feelings I think I can understand where Savana is coming from.

Kate, all I can say is that I am glad my mil is not close enough to ever surprise me and see how we live when we don't have company! lol. Last night I was a little horrified myself when I got up in the middle of the night to get a drink of water and saw my kitchen. The problem around here is that I cannot run my dishwasher and my washing machine at the same time so if I'm running laundry the dishes pile up and vice versa. When the washer is filling you cannot even get a drink of water. Is that a first world problem? That's what I tell dbf and Savana when they complain about it. We have clean water right?

This reminded me of my laundry related FWP: My front loading washing machine has such a high capacity that it takes forever to get a load of clothes to fill it up, so I have to wait a week to wear my favorite jeans again.

---
I forgot I had a story to share. Yesterday afternoon DH decided he was going to use his Christmas $$$ (from the ILs, I used mine on cooking gadgets) go buy and install a reverse osmosis filter for under our kitchen sink. I'm thrilled because then I'd have good water to cook with too. So he gets the filter and after dinner starts installing it, with a tiny apprentice. Abbey is over-the-top beaming because she's helping Daddy fix something, I have never seen her like that. She also surprised me by knowing what a ratchet is ("wachet", lol). So DH goes to the garage to get something and Abbey stays under the sink to keep an eye on things, when suddenly I hear a shriek and see water gushing everywhere. I run behind the counter and pull out Abbey, who is holding a hose that is squirting water all over the kitchen. I start yelling for DH saying "Help! Something is happened! Something is happening!" because my preggo brain can't think to say "water everywhere". DH runs in and ducks under the sink to turn some valve, then we all look around to see the flooded kitchen and soaked Abbey. I clean up everything while DH soothes Abbey's wounded pride and then they go back to "fixing", until DH breaks an important (only orderable online) piece and the project is packed up until he can get a new part.

At this point, I'm at my mom's group meeting, but according to DH, Abbey threw the biggest tantrum he's ever seen. Granted, we never really see tantrums, because she's super calm, but according to him, she's MAD. She wanted to keep "fixing" and she was super angry about quitting time, screaming, red in the face, completely out of character for her. When I got home, she had calmed down and was taking a bath but the first thing she said to me was "I wanted to keep fixing. I just stopped being mad at daddy now." In the end she convinced him to get out the set of wrenches again so she could fix the table, and he gave her some extra tubing, so she was happy again. But poor DH had a hell of a night. Then I loved him even more because instead of complaining about all the 'help' he got, he said to me "I love working with Abbey. She's so cute. Did you see how she didn't want to stop when she was in the middle of the project? That's just like me. I'm going to get her a set of little wrenches for her birthday." :wub:

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 06:13 AM

That's adorable :wub:

Bridget, that reminds me, I was gonna say that we used to have an issue with not being able to run 2 water appliances at our current house before, but since getting water conserving dishwasher and washing machine, as well as using a shower head that restricts the water flow, we can actually use all 3 at the same time now. And flush the toilet. We haven't made any other changes either.

AmeriBrit

01-03-2012, 07:44 AM

Molly, that is so sweet about your husband!

Erin, I can't believe your boss scored you so low, but there are so many crap bosses out there. My DH had a horrible boss with his last position and he finally moved and his confidence has gone back up after taking a real battering from the last evil boss. I'm glad you have the confidence and know that your boss is just a nutter.

I e-mailed my sister today to ask her if we could try to be friends again. It's my new year's resolution to try to be nicer to people. I feel like I should give it one last shot before I completely cut her out of my life. It's been a year since we last properly talked. My cousin who has been missing for 18 months has a sister and she recently was talking on FB about how she wished she had spoken to him more then last couple years before he disappeared but his life choices weren't good ones and she didn't want to involve herself with him, so it makes me feel like I should at least try with my own sister.

The weather here has been so grey here lately. I think I might invest in one of those S-A-D boxes to see if that helps, but I've started recently daydreaming of moving back to the US just for some sunshine! I've never had an urge to move back to the US, so I think the lack of sunshine might have something to do with it.

We went out today to one of those soft play places with my SIL and her 3 kids, my MIL, and 2 other friends and their 3 kids. It was OK for the most part but I couldn't socialize at all because I was chasing Cash around and then in the end, all the other kids turned on Travis and kept being mean to him (all of them were throwing balls at him from the ball pool and then were all trying to hit him at another time when he was trying to go in the playhouse with him.) I lost it at the end because I was so upset for Travis and shouted at them all and told them they were all "naughty children!" I think the other mothers were a little shocked by my outburst and came running over and apologizing for their kids' behavior. I felt like I could cry and just wanted to get out of there as soon as possible. Travis has a hard enough time making friends and to have all 5 of the other kids turning on him just really upset me. I suppose that's another reason I'm thinking of the US now. I guess I'm nostalgic of my own childhood and a little sad that there are experiences I had as a child that my own children won't have like playing baseball and football with the neighborhood kids, and watching American sports on TV, or going and playing in the woods and walking down dirt roads and playing on the neighbors' bales of hay.

I feel like I'm rambling now, so I'll stop for now. *sigh.*

3andMe

01-03-2012, 07:45 AM

I got an email from Mylah about Bodhi's upcoming birthday the other day, so she's not completely absent. I have noticed she's not been around here much though. Come back, Mylah! We miss you!

That is a sweet story about Abbey, and how cool that your dh was able to find a common bond like that instead of just being unhappy about the tantrum. Aw!

I have not been doing anything with my hair since I got back from vacation, and yesterday I just put it back in a ponytail, which I never do because I don't think it looks very good with my face. Better to just leave my hair down and clip up any particular bothersome bits. DD looked at me and said, "Mommy, you look adorable!!!" and wrapped her arms around me and gave me a big hug. She loves ponytails, because she doesn't get them very often and she considers them very special.

We can't do multiple water-using appliances at the same time, either. Our house is pretty old and was not designed for modern appliances and plumbing.

I did some 2012 New Year activities with the twins yesterday. Questionnaires about the past year and the year to come, and collages. DD said her goal was to learn to read, and she thinks she needs some glasses and then she would be able to read. She also said what she loved most about 2011 was "Playing with you, Mommy." DS said his hardest thing of the year was "Flip drip crip tip pips" so I decided the real answer was either speaking English or answering questions seriously. Sigh. They are such a contrast. Last night DS, instead of eating dinner, watched his hand move around and then babbled nonsense and fell out of his chair a couple of times. At one point, it occurred to me that he was acting like he was on drugs. I mentioned it to DH and he said, "Yes, exactly, or schizotypal." So of course I started worrying a bit, because his behavior has been getting worse and worse, and then I remembered that when he's around another boy his age, he is actually the one who is less inclined to babble nonsense, and he is better able to sit still, and he is less likely to shout random things or just be inappropriately loud. And his teachers tell me he's just fine. And when we are at parties and stuff, people love him and talk about how polite he is. I don't know.

Cosmosmom

01-03-2012, 09:04 AM

I would be ok with my MIL dropping by because we live almost exactly the same when she is visiting. Only things I really do different are wear nightgowns instead of short t-shirts to bed....I have my own bathroom but get up in the night to bring the puppy to the laundry room.....and always shut the bathroom door....which we both don't do all the time if it is just us home and the bathroom is down the hall. One of the reasons I think MIL will pretty easy to live with is that we can be us around her.
We have both been talking about terms of when she moves in instead of if.

My house was built in 2010....so you would think it wouldn't have any issues. But still once in a while we go to flip a switch and nothing happens. And it's not because of using a bunch of high power things at once. So DH has to go downstairs and flip the switch back on.

Erin, we learned when young not to complain about being bored. My mom would tell us that only boring people got bored....otherwise we should be able to find a book to read or something to play. Or she would find chores to for us to do.

Aww Molly that Abbey story is really adorable!

Cosmosmom

01-03-2012, 09:28 AM

OMG I was just checking my cc statements and realized that I spent over 1K on Legos for DH. In a 3 week time frame. Some was for xmas and some for his birthday in less than 3 weeks. But still I hadn't added it up like that before. Thank god most of the stuff on his wish is now bought! Especially the few things he really wanted that were discontinued and therefore expensive on Ebay. Seems like a good idea...people buy certain sets, hold onto them a few years and sell them for 4 times the price, if not more for unopened sets.
Dh will rarely spend money on himself so it's good that he's gotten something he enjoys for once. Except he might freak out when the bills come in the mail....usually he likes to spread out purchases much more. Least I haven't done any shopping for myself....if it wasn't for legos and puppy vet bills, it would have been a good month. I will be happy once Molly is done with her shots and is spayed....going every few weeks adds up.

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 10:21 AM

:hugs: Ash, it's awful to see your child ganged up on. I would have reacted the same way. Those mothers should have intervened before you called them naughty children.

L, of course it's totally normal to worry about our kids. I'm sure they're fine and will be fine, but nothing will alleviate that worry.

:shock: that's a lotta legos Jennifer.

I had my intake appointment at mental health. This therapy thing is going to be a lot tougher for me than I anticipated. I didn't want to tell the therapist anything. When she tried to get specifics about why I was there, I was like, "oh, you know...stuff." Gah. Next week I see 'my' therapist so hopefully I'll be able to bond with her and tell her about the 'stuff.'

daylilies

01-03-2012, 11:24 AM

I hope you can connect better with your actual therapist, Chrissy. It's always hard for me to talk about "stuff" with therapists too. A good one will drag it out of me, ask me good questions.

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 11:29 AM

For all I wanted to cry just a couple weeks ago, that was my biggest fear today. I absolutely didn't want to talk about anything that would make me cry.

daylilies

01-03-2012, 11:31 AM

I cry a lot at the therapist. It makes me emotional to talk about things that bother me or make me ashamed. But it's okay. They've seen it all before!

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 11:33 AM

Yeah, I know. I think part of it for me was knowing she wasn't going to be 'my' therapist and that I'd have to go through everything all over again. The other part was knowing I'd have to go to work after and I didn't want to get the water works started and not be able to stop them. Going forward, my appointments will be after work so it won't be a big deal if I start crying.

daylilies

01-03-2012, 11:37 AM

I hope it helps :)

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 11:38 AM

Me too. I wonder how long you have to be in therapy before it starts to feel like it's doing any good. Just a rhetorical question.

daylilies

01-03-2012, 11:41 AM

I think it depends how good and proactive the therapist is and how open you are about everything. If you go and just kind of talk about stuff and don't feel like you're making any progress then things won't get better.

Ky'sMom

01-03-2012, 02:15 PM

Therapy is hard. I had to go through a lot of it as a child and teen to deal with the abuse I suffered as a child.

I only had one good therapist though out of about 5 or 6 of them. The others I thought were idiots. I remember reading something though that put a lot into perspective for my own situation and has helped me throughout life. It was written by someone on TV so at first I didn't take it seriously, I think it was Iyanla Vanzant. Basically she said that once you can talk about something that used to make you emotional and cry without getting emotional and crying, then that means you are starting to heal. I used to always choke up when I thought of certain things or moments in my life but after a while those emotions got less and less and I do think I am fully healed now from all of that. Many in my family don't believe me but honestly I think I am since I do not think about it, I do not think "what ifs" anymore and I can speak matter of factly about former traumatic events without speaking through tears or not being able to speak at all about it and becoming a bumbling mess.

I even feel I am getting past the tough spell that DH and I went through after Elle was born because for a long time I would get so POd that I'd cry if I even thought about her birth or the months preceding her birth and what an a$$ he was. I think I am finally getting over it since we talked about that time period last week and I didn't get upset and didn't feel tears in my eyes. So her advice was to talk about those situations often and put them into perspective, find out if they have a lesson for you, or if you need to forgive someone, or what sort of action you need to take in your life and move on from there, or if there is nothing to learn, do your best to get past that time.

Erin

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 02:30 PM

Erin, that makes perfect sense to me. I know exactly what you mean. Most the time, I'm like that when talking about my mom or things I experienced because of her illness. It's really behind me and not something that bothers me.

daylilies

01-03-2012, 02:56 PM

I need advice on this pants wetting thing. I was on the treadmill and I saw Josh pulling at his pants crotch like he does when he either has to pee or has already wet himself. I told him to go pee and asked him if he was wet. He said no and I said I was going to check him in 3 minutes and he had that long to go change if he was wet. He just sat there and when I checked him he was indeed wet. He didn't even seem to care that he was wet or that he lied to me.
We were at the library after school and I noticed he was wet there too. I don't even know how long he was wet for since he never seems to tell anyone.
We need a throwing hands up in the air in defeat smily...lol

AmeriBrit

01-03-2012, 03:11 PM

Travis tries to hold it til the last minute and sometimes has a little wet patch by the time he dances to the toilet. What I do a lot of times to avoid that is when I see him doing the pee dance and he says he doesn't need to go, I'll pick him up and put him on the toilet and say, "I think you need to pee." And he'll pee and say, "Yeah, I did."

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 04:38 PM

I wish I had advice Kate. We're right there with you in this house too.

AbbeysMom

01-03-2012, 05:14 PM

First attempt at French Bread:

7858

My New Year goal is to learn how to make pretty much everything we eat homemade. I'm starting with breads. Next I'm trying pitas. :)

Chrissy, I forgot to wish you luck with your appointment today. :hugs: I really hope therapy makes a difference for you and that you like your therapist right away; I think that makes a huge difference.

daylilies

01-03-2012, 05:27 PM

Yum!

Gwenn

01-03-2012, 05:39 PM

Yum, french bread!

Chrissy, I hope you are able to bond better with your therapist.

Erin, I just can't imagine you crying at all! You always sound so matter of fact and put together. I'm glad you have been able to heal after what you went through.

Ash, I am so sad for Travis! What was wrong with those mothers, not intervening?

Back to work today. Not a bad day - but I continue to be annoyed. Oh, well.

missychrissy

01-03-2012, 06:08 PM

That bread looks great!

Bridget

01-03-2012, 07:46 PM

That bread does look great! I've been checking out that blog you linked yesterday. Today I made the cauliflower soup with my daycare kids. It had the perfect amount of jobs. One to shred cheese, one to mince garlic, one to peel a potato! It was really good too.
Kate, I have posted in here and in nm about Kai peeing his pants several times a day. A lot people on apa actually commented that they did not feel it was normal for him to be having accidents at 4.5 but I think it's more common than we realize. He just didn't want to go. And he never gave a rat's patootie. He'd just whip his clothes off and change into new ones. He finally stopped having accidents though. It actually coincided with me beginning to care for the homeschool family of all boys, two of which are 4 and 7. I think being around the older boys motivated Kai to act more grown.
And speaking of acting grown, I take care of this little girl (V). She's been here over 2 years and will go to kindy next year. I love her so much and she is like part of our family as until about 4months ago she was here every day all day. She now just comes 3 days a week and stays with grandma the other 2. Her attitude towards me has changed so drastically. And I mean attitude with a capital A! I had to speak to her mom today and it is very rare that I speak to a parent about a child's behavior as there is not much a child can do that will strike me as too out of the ordinary. But suddenly this child is acting like she cannot even tolerate to be around me or the other children as if we are the most annoying people to ever walk the earth. I am talking eye rolling, big heavy sighs, looks of complete disgust. She is like a teenager. She will be like, "Bridget?" and I will answer, "yes?" and she will give the biggest, most dramatic sigh and say, "Oh EVERMIND!" (lol)
Her mom thinks it's because at grandmas she can do whatever she likes and eat cookies all day. I can't believe how much it bothers me but this little girl used to adore me and now she is just walking around my house like it's a death sentence!

We are pawning off a bunch of dbf's family jewelry to pay our property taxes. It's been a rough few month around here. I know I have mentioned this here before but me not getting paid when kids don't come has really hurt us. Oh, I've been advertising for enrollment and gotten 2 inquiries from people who practically hung up on me when I told my prices. $4 an hour for part time or $140 for full time. I can't go any lower than that unless I have families start bringing their own food.

3andMe

01-03-2012, 09:03 PM

$4 an hour is a bargain any way you slice it. You do not want to know how much I am paying for the twins to go two days a week to preschool. I don't think. Money troubles are so tough. Does dbf start to realize just how much you usually contribute when this sort of stuff happens, or does he just grumble abut the problems?

I also hate to tell you this, but we have not recovered financially from having our third, a year and a half later.

AmeriBrit

01-04-2012, 03:46 AM

That bread looks delish! I am a carboholic. Speaking of food, I posted in random about my extreme hunger. I do wonder if I should speak to the doctor about hypoglycemia but I kinda feel like it would make me look like a hypochondriac.

Bridget, I'm sorry y'all are having to pawn stuff. We are looking at me going back in to some kind of work but we have to figure out how to make it financially viable since childcare costs a bomb here. When I worked part-time before I had Cash and Travis was going to a private daycare place, we paid $60 a day for him to go there and I think at the time, I might have made about $80 a day, so that is why I have not gone back to work after having Cash.

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 06:20 AM

:( I'm sorry you've had to resort to pawning his family jewelry. That really stinks. Work must have been slow for dbf too?

daylilies

01-04-2012, 06:40 AM

I'm sorry Bridget. I had no idea it was that bad :(
I'm sorry that little girl has turned into a diva! I can understand why you'd be upset by that.

I was curious how argumentative everyone's kids are.
I feel like I cannot comment that it's a sunny day without Josh arguing it. It's gotten so bad that I'm afraid to say anything to him. Not only does he argue with pointless things like that but important things like not jumping on the bed while the cats are on it. He'll just try to argue his way out of it until we have to remove him from the situation and then he breaks down crying and lashes out.

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 06:42 AM

Conner can be like that too. If he's debating whether it's a sunny day or something else equally unimportant I don't even argue with him.

Bridget

01-04-2012, 06:43 AM

He broke his wrist when our 90 year old neighbor rammed into the back of his truck so is pretty limited. He still does use it even though he shouldn't. When he has surgury next month he really will not be able to use it at all. Luckily he does have a few other gigs he makes money off here and there but certainly nothing consistent. I rarely stress about money though. Even when it's really rough it's still so much better than many can even hope for. We always knew we were going to sell the jewelry, just haven't known the right way to go about it. Then he met a guy who is opening a jewelry store and looking for unique, antique pieces so we're getting more than we would if we sold them for the price of gold. And great timing too!

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 06:45 AM

That sounds like a win-win. I had forgotten he'd broken his wrist.

Bridget

01-04-2012, 06:46 AM

Kate, Savana is like that. Unbelievably so to where she will pretend not to like things I know she likes just to disagree with me. I have found that the less reaction I give, the better. It sounds like you knew that already though. One thing I say a lot is, "You can think what you like and I can think what I like. That's the beauty of free will:)"

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 07:08 AM

I'm sorry, I have to vent/whine again for a moment. My husband is doing that fb stalking thing again. He's liking & commenting on everything I do (that he can see). I'm ashamed to admit that I've started blocking him from seeing some posts just because I don't want him adding his 2 cents to it. Not only that, but this morning I woke early and saw he was looking at his phone in bed. He was looking at my pictures on FB from New Years. He even commented on one and posted a 'sweet' note to my wall but I was so disturbed by the whole thing that I deleted it. We're probably going to have a good go-round tonight but I've had enough. I don't really want to deactivate my fb because I enjoy it. I'm thinking about taking him off, but that's going to cause problems with the kids. No matter what I do, I'm coming out like the jerk. I hate it.

On a positive note, I forgot to mention that yesterday when the therapist/intake worker asked about my friends, I thought of you guys and smiled. I said I had many online and 1-2 irl friends. :D

Ky'sMom

01-04-2012, 07:16 AM

That is too bad about the jewelry Bridget but at least you have it to make ends meet. I would be peeved though about it, I am very sentimental about family things.

And Mandy, I can be a crying mess quite often. DH thinks I use it as a tool to get what I want, but really he just brings up things that make me upset and I am an angry crier. I also am a crying mess whenever I get PG, which is one of the reasons why I think we always have a bad time whenever I have been PG, even with the miscarriage I had when I got PG on an IUD and I was only PG for about 7-8 weeks but I get extremely emotional, not whiny but I usually am very critical of myself and introspective and this is heightened by about 10 times when I am PG and I focus too much on my faults and blame everything on myself and cry about pretty much every thing. It is rare now that I am myself again but usually whenever DH brought up Elle's birth or the months right before and after, I would tear up thinking of it because I am still upset by it and the way he acted versus what I had hoped for. I feel myself getting kind of peeved just thinking about it now but I don't cry anymore about it, I am just upset by it and I hope to move more past that in the next few years. I have told him it will probably take me 10 years to get over it. He thinks I am crazy but I really don't think I will be fully over it for 10 years.

And speaking of me being sentimental about family things, I remember crying to this guy who DH got to help us move out stuff one year when we were going through a broke/homeless stage (we actually had to stay in one of those extended stay hotels that was in a prostitute area so there were a lot of prostitutes there with their kids). The guy was suppose to take our stuff to a storage facility and something happened where he didn't take one load, which included 8 boxes of my great grandmother's ceramics. My great grandmother was a very crafty woman who sewed, knitted, crocheted, embroidered, and painted ceramics. She had a stove where she fired pottery and everything. All her work is precious to me and they are the only things I have of a relative who actually made things themselves. I had over 50 pieces of her work and I called this guy crying and sobbing about those boxes and pleading for their return. He drove by our old house and left them on the side of the road. He is a friend of a friend of DH's and I still see him and I know he stole the rest of our stuff, including some of my grandma's ceramics because he didn't return all of them. I have a little over 30 of them though and all of my favorites.

Oh, and both Elle and Ky are argumentative. I tell them not to be so contrary. When it is about something that is obvious, I will remind them that I have no reason to lie to them and they shouldn't be so contrary about something so common. Also that one should save their arguments for something worth arguing over. Ky was never as bad as Elle is and he is easier to get to stop arguing since he is older and has good reasoning capabilities. Also I can tell him to go look something up to get him to stop.

Erin

daylilies

01-04-2012, 07:36 AM

Aw Chrissy, I think of you guys in therapy a lot too :)
I would just block Rich from seeing your fb, personally.

Thanks for the advice on the arguing--I do let it get to me sometimes though. It's exhausting to live with someone who argues with you all the time.

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 07:41 AM

Aw Erin, that made me so sad about you losing your grandmother's handmade things, especially when it sounds like you were already about as down and out as a person could be. :(

Kate, I think that's why I let the small stuff just slide by, because it takes too much energy to try and convince him otherwise! I'm lazy. He's not as bad as Syd was. I think she's always been my biggest arguer. Maybe she'll grow up to be a lawyer? Josh too!

I just might block him from my fb. I think we'll have 1 more go round about this and if he doesn't shape up, I'm un-friending him.

Suja

01-04-2012, 08:14 AM

Chrissy, you can just create lists and post to them to keep him from seeing stuff. It might cause less hard feelings that way.

Jet lag is kicking butt. Kid fell asleep at 7:30 last night, but has been up since 2:00 in the morning. I have a feeling she'll want to sleep forever in the afternoon like she did yesterday, and as much as I hate to, I'll just have to wake her up at a more reasonable time.

AmeriBrit

01-04-2012, 08:24 AM

Suja, I know that feeling of jet lag all too well; the sooner you can get everyone back on their regular sleep schedule, the better; it can really drag itself out and make you miserable. I always give the kids the first day back to rest as much as possible and by the second day, I'm still OK with them sleeping a little bit at odd hours but by the 3rd day, we try our best to stay awake til bedtime.

Travis can be very argumentative. When he's in that mood, I do like someone else has already mentioned and just ignore him. Sometimes, I argue back if I'm in the mood for an argument and usually end up saying to him in a very Southern accent, "boy-child, you better get on now." LOL.

Chrissy, sorry Rich is smothering you on FB again...I hope he sorts himself out this time for you.

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 09:33 AM

Chrissy, you can just create lists and post to them to keep him from seeing stuff. It might cause less hard feelings that way.

I have been, but that doesn't stop him from posting love notes on my wall and commenting on all my pictures 2-3 times each. It's really making me feel uncomfortable. And I'm also worried about him grilling me about my therapy appointments. :(

daylilies

01-04-2012, 09:48 AM

DH asks me about my therapy appts. but only because he's curious if I had any breakthroughs or discussed anything he might want to benefit from, too.

I guess I'll try ignoring him if he wants to argue about silly things. I do think he'll grow up to be a politician or something :laugh: or maybe an engineer. He loves to build things. My dad got him a rather serious engineering kit where you learn about levers and pulleys, and how to make toy cars that go when you pull back on them and I thought he'd be bored to death but he liked it.

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 09:51 AM

Rich was upset that I wanted to do individual therapy alone. And then the questions he was asking last night...I dunno. It was more than idle curiosity. I'm sure he cares, but it was too much.

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 09:52 AM

I guess I'll try ignoring him if he wants to argue about silly things. I do think he'll grow up to be a politician or something :laugh: or maybe an engineer. He loves to build things. My dad got him a rather serious engineering kit where you learn about levers and pulleys, and how to make toy cars that go when you pull back on them and I thought he'd be bored to death but he liked it.

That's really cool. :D

daylilies

01-04-2012, 10:04 AM

Does Rich want to do therapy with you in the hopes that you'll stay?

I have to take Josh to school and then I have my own therapy appt. :)

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 10:30 AM

Does Rich want to do therapy with you in the hopes that you'll stay?

I have to take Josh to school and then I have my own therapy appt. :)

Probably. I think he probably just wants to 'fix' it but he's smothering me in his attempt to do so.

I have you have a good session. :D

Suja

01-04-2012, 12:06 PM

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 12:20 PM

Chrissy, maybe he will benefit from being told that directly (but kindly). That you understand that he has good intentions, but he is putting too much pressure on you, and needs to give you space, and that you'd talk to him when you're ready.

This will be the 3rd or 4th time we've had this discussion. He'll cooperate for a few days, but if I laugh at something he says or am 'nice' in general he starts with the hounding again. It's not just fb either, but that's a whole other thing.

demigraf

01-04-2012, 12:21 PM

If it's ok, I'd like to add a new acronym to our Secular Confessions lexicon:

SCUBJIA - "still catching up but jumping in anyway", for times like now when I've been away for less than a week, and it'll take me just as long to read the pages that I missed in my absence, but I'd still like to chime in and say hello. I always feel self-conscious when I'm SCUBJIA that it may seem like I'm ignoring something important because I hadn't read it yet.

So, because I'm SCUBJIA, please pardon my LIFO (last in, first out) responses to just stuff on this page:

Suja... welcome back! I hope the jetlag subsides after some walks in the sunshine.

Molly, beautiful bread! I would love to make everything homemade. We got a breadmaker for our wedding and I still haven't used it. :shame: I just made a big pot of lentil soup last night, froze half of it, refrigerated another quarter of it, and am eating the rest of it throughout the day. DH is getting on board the homemade train too. For his bday, I gave him a copy of the audiobook for "In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan, and he is now making dramatic changes to the way he eats. He was not a salad person when I met him, and now he's making these beautiful salads. I have started sprouting seeds again on my windowsill which DH will eat, so many that I think I'm going to build a little sprout shelf. And with all the hemming and hawing he did about my breastfeeding Bodhi, DH's quite adamantly pro boobs now. It's nice that books will sometimes

BTW, if anyone wants to borrow a digital version of the book from me, please let me know, and I'll arrange to get it to you. Even if you don't find the book enlightening, it's at least interesting (although the narrator's voice is uber-annoying.)

Bridget, I soooo wish your daycare were in my backyard. Not only because you would be affordable (you're worth triple what you charge), but because I would feel so good about leaving Bodhi in the care of such an excellent mama. Sorry that DBF is selling his family items to pay taxes this year. I hope that the things aren't of too great a sentimental value.

Chrissy, I hope Rich figures out how to give you what you need. It's sad to hear he's trying, but getting it hopelessly wrong. I do quite enjoy therapy - I have to confess. Probably because I'm self-absorbed and get to talk about myself for 50 minutes. But in all seriousness, I hope the session went well. And perhaps Rich would benefit from some individual counseling too.

Kate, we are feeling very stalled on the potty training here. I imagine it'll feel like this for awhile. Do you think it happens often enough that it'd help to put him in diapers again? I heard from a few moms who put their little ones in diapers *over* their underpants, so the kids would still feel the wetness and react to it/learn from it, but the diapers would prevent messy accidents. Just a thought.

Ash, on the extreme hunger thing. I get that way (my orange hungry monster) but it's definitely linked to my menstrual cycle. I have read several things that suggest that changing what you eat will help with hunger. For example, if your body thinks it's deficient in a particular nutrient, it'll tell you to keep eating until it gets it. Stuff like that.

Erin, I was happy to read that your DH has had an attitude improvement in recent months. I can definitely relate to that. My DH was very poopy about a lot of things when it came to having a new little person in our life. It actually feels like we're all hitting our stride again. And we want to have another one? Oh boy.

Speaking of which, Molly, how are you feeling, mama? I would love to have you babymoon here in Cali. Any chance you want to join us in Puerto Rico in late Feb for your babymoon? We'll have room for you. The place we're renting is on the beach and has a baby pool and a playground. Anyone here is invited, truly. I'm just singling Molly out because she mentioned a meetup. :D

daylilies

01-04-2012, 12:24 PM

Smplyme89

01-04-2012, 12:25 PM

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 12:27 PM

daylilies

01-04-2012, 12:28 PM

I don't think diapers would help. I'm not sure that's how I want to go about it. I don't really mind that he has to change. I think he feels the wetness but doesn't mind it.

Speaking of that, we learned that MIL was up until very recently, putting him in diapers when he sleeps overnight. He very rarely wets the bed at night but I guess she didn't want to risk dealing with wet sheets.
SCUBJIA...I love it!

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 12:30 PM

I admit, I've been tempted to put Conner back in diapers. Last night he told me he was a big boy now and I instantly said, "So that means you're going to poop on the potty, right?" I could tell it hurt his feelings. :cry:

Ky'sMom

01-04-2012, 12:31 PM

So good to hear your appointment went well Kate. It is great when you have a good therapist to speak to about your problems.

And Myles I actually liked therapy as well, even as a child, I just did not like dealing with the idiot therapist who used to tell me horrible stories about girls who were raped by their dad's or talk to me like I was a 4 year old (I went into therapy around 10 years old and stayed until I was 16) or who would never come out and ask me what was on my mind, or what I felt about what had happened to me or even if I wanted to be there. Most of them, except one named Donna, didn't seem too interested in being my therapist and I guess I am kind of narcissistic as well as I like to talk about myself and would have if asked.

Myles, Puerto Rico sounds wonderful! If you were going in April I would come! My birthday is in April and I usually go somewhere for my birthday. I am thinking of going to NYC for my birthday this year to see a show. I've never been to NYC and even though it is not somewhere I would ever want to live, I wouldn't mind going shopping and seeing an on or off Broadway show. DH insist though that he will not let me go there by myself and I think he just wants to come too but I really would rather go by myself and just might do so if I have the money to go after taking the fam to Disney in February.

Erin

daylilies

01-04-2012, 12:32 PM

I'm glad we don't have a pooping problem. I'd consider putting him back in diapers for that since it's so messy. Did I tell you guys he pooped himself on the playground recently? It was the day before vacation and they'd had a party with a bunch of baked goods. He was playing and he waddled up to me and said "Can we go home?" I thought he'd peed himself but he had pooped. He was so embarrassed :(

demigraf

01-04-2012, 12:33 PM

..."In Defense of Food" by Michael Pollan, and he is now making dramatic changes to the way he eats. He was not a salad person when I met him, and now he's making these beautiful salads. I have started sprouting seeds again on my windowsill which DH will eat, so many that I think I'm going to build a little sprout shelf. And with all the hemming and hawing he did about my breastfeeding Bodhi, DH's quite adamantly pro boobs now. It's nice that books will sometimes ...

I realize I never finished that sentence. I was just going to say that it's nice how books will sometimes make my case for me - even when I'm saying the exact same thing. Sometimes DH just doesn't want to hear it from me.

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 12:33 PM

:shocker: Erin-she told you what stories about other girls?! Holy heck.

And Kate, I so wish Conner would be embarrassed by having that type of accident. His little friend is 3 or 4 and he goes to the bathroom all by himself, but that doesn't seem to motivate Conner at all.

daylilies

01-04-2012, 12:36 PM

I realize I never finished that sentence. I was just going to say that it's nice how books will sometimes make my case for me - even when I'm saying the exact same thing. Sometimes DH just doesn't want to hear it from me.

DH never ate salads before he met me, either! He lived on things he knew how to make that his mother used to make, and frozen food, and pizza.

I get what you're saying about books making your point. It goes both ways here too. DH likes to talk out of his ass sometimes so it helps if he actually refers to a book or article to back it up :laugh:

demigraf

01-04-2012, 12:38 PM

The session was good. I cried. :laugh:
I though of you guys when I told her that some mothers had told me I need to not take his behavior personally and that I don't know how to do that. She basically said he's not actively trying to hurt my feelings and that it's narcissistic to think about how his behaviors are affecting me. So I guess I have to figure out how to detach my feelings from this person who means everything to me and who I feel is a reflection of myself and my parenting, which I suppose is narcissistic too.

Not taking things personally is very hard. Remember that book I mentioned before, "The Four Agreements"? That book has a chapter in it about not taking things personally (since "Take nothing personally" is actually one of the 4 agreements). I still have a hard time with it. One of the things that help me, though, is to just think about how self-involved I am, and I imagine every other person out there is just like me, into their own thing, not really trying to get into anyone else's head to affect the way they feel because I'm too busily concerned with the way that I feel. And that kind of thinking realy helps.
:hugs:

Suja

01-04-2012, 12:39 PM

This will be the 3rd or 4th time we've had this discussion. He'll cooperate for a few days, but if I laugh at something he says or am 'nice' in general he starts with the hounding again. It's not just fb either, but that's a whole other thing.

Do you think he could benefit from a session with the therapist? Maybe an impartial third party can get through to him better than you can.

Welcome back, Myles!

daylilies

01-04-2012, 12:39 PM

Not taking things personally is very hard. Remember that book I mentioned before, "The Four Agreements"? That book has a chapter in it about not taking things personally (since "Take nothing personally" is actually one of the 4 agreements). I still have a hard time with it. One of the things that help me, though, is to just think about how self-involved I am, and I imagine every other person out there is just like me, into their own thing, not really trying to get into anyone else's head to affect the way they feel because I'm too busily concerned with the way that I feel. And that kind of thinking realy helps.
:hugs:

That is a good point. :)

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 12:40 PM

Do you think he could benefit from a session with the therapist? Maybe an impartial third party can get through to him better than you can.

Welcome back, Myles!
He can see his own. For now I want to do my own individual therapy and leave everyone else out of it. I just had an intake appointment, so it's not like I've even begun myself.

AmeriBrit

01-04-2012, 01:24 PM

I'm glad you SCUBJIA, Myles! I've missed you around here.

daylilies

01-04-2012, 02:03 PM

I just had the most awful time at the library! I took Josh over there and he wanted to do one of the educational programs on the computer. It's really cute and I can't get it at home so I don't mind sitting there while he does it. I checked him before he started and noticed he was wet so I told him we had to go home and change. He threw the tantrum of all tantrums and even the librarian, who also taught Josh's group in the fall at church, came over to try to distract him but he was no help. I couldn't get his coat on because he kept fighting me, and I was carrying our hats and his backpack and my coat and I kept dropping things and he was throwing himself on the floor, meanwhile screaming the whole time that I was hurting him when I was just trying to pick him up off the floor and hold his hand. He ended up walking to the car with no coat on. I'm sure I looked like mother of the year. :rolleyes:

AbbeysMom

01-04-2012, 02:17 PM

Speaking of which, Molly, how are you feeling, mama? I would love to have you babymoon here in Cali. Any chance you want to join us in Puerto Rico in late Feb for your babymoon? We'll have room for you. The place we're renting is on the beach and has a baby pool and a playground. Anyone here is invited, truly. I'm just singling Molly out because she mentioned a meetup. :D

OMG, more than anything, I want to meet up in Puerto Rico. I'll ask DH about it. :fingerscrossed:

Also, I think I might try to buy him that book. Then somehow get him to read it...

Bridget

01-04-2012, 02:17 PM

Been there, Kate. It sucks. You did what you had to do though. Any mom would understand. What your therapist said about narcissism has me thinking, by the way. About myself of course:eyeroll:. She makes a good point there.

Love SCUBJIA

Welcome back Suja!

AmeriBrit

01-04-2012, 02:31 PM

Kate, I think most parents have had more than one of those moments!

AmeriBrit

01-04-2012, 02:37 PM

I've been looking online tonight about babysitters for when/if I go back to work this year. I'll need someone to drop Travis off and pick him up from school probably and for someone to watch Cash throughout the day. I'd love for them to both go back to the daycare centre where Travis used to go when I worked part-time but I wouldn't make enough money to cover the cost. I get sick when I think of leaving them with any but their grandparents, which is all they've known recently. I think I feel wary of babysitters vs. childcare centres because I have a cousin who used to babysit kids and she seemed nice to most people but if you really knew her and saw how she was with kids, you would not leave your child with her....I keep thinking about what if we picked someone like that.

AbbeysMom

01-04-2012, 02:37 PM

The session was good. I cried. :laugh:
I though of you guys when I told her that some mothers had told me I need to not take his behavior personally and that I don't know how to do that. She basically said he's not actively trying to hurt my feelings and that it's narcissistic to think about how his behaviors are affecting me. So I guess I have to figure out how to detach my feelings from this person who means everything to me and who I feel is a reflection of myself and my parenting, which I suppose is narcissistic too.

I don't think it's narcissistic to think your child is a reflection of your parenting and/or yourself, I think it's normal, just not very accurate. Whether a child tends to lash out or be anxiety-prone or easy-going or some mix of traits, I think most inherent "personality" come from interaction with their whole environment, and their natural personality (guided by genetics). Parents are part of their whole environment, but a mom's influence isn't all-encompassing.

I also don't think it's narcissistic to think about how his behaviors are affecting you (although a parent wouldn't react emotionally to a child in the same way they would react to an adult). If a child hits or screams at their caregiver, it's not like it doesn't hurt, both emotionally and physically. I understand needing detachment in the sense that you can't hold resentment or anger, but I would think the best way to achieve that is to understand why a child is having trouble (not labeling your own emotions as narcissistic).

daylilies

01-04-2012, 03:08 PM

Kate, I think most parents have had more than one of those moments!

Oh yes, I have had many. Just sucks when they happen.

daylilies

01-04-2012, 03:15 PM

Ash, do you know anyone who can recommend someone?

I don't think it's narcissistic to think your child is a reflection of your parenting and/or yourself, I think it's normal, just not very accurate. Whether a child tends to lash out or be anxiety-prone or easy-going or some mix of traits, I think most inherent "personality" come from interaction with their whole environment, and their natural personality (guided by genetics). Parents are part of their whole environment, but a mom's influence isn't all-encompassing.

I also don't think it's narcissistic to think about how his behaviors are affecting you (although a parent wouldn't react emotionally to a child in the same way they would react to an adult). If a child hits or screams at their caregiver, it's not like it doesn't hurt, both emotionally and physically. I understand needing detachment in the sense that you can't hold resentment or anger, but I would think the best way to achieve that is to understand why a child is having trouble (not labeling your own emotions as narcissistic).

That's just it-I assume he's having trouble because of me, because I'm the person he's around 95% of the time. Or that he's not having trouble at all, I'm just having trouble coping.
Gee, I guess I do think about myself a lot. :laugh:

demigraf

01-04-2012, 03:33 PM

Totally OT, but one of Bodhi's adorable besties - whom he's known since 4 mos - turns 3 today. I want to share this pic with her and her baby brother (which I'll probably take down in a couple hours to keep their online exposure low):

...

Her middle name is the same as my first name, which makes her all the more awesome. (Narcissism, anyone? :P) I wub her.

ETA: Whoa that pic is huge. Will definitely take down in a few.

daylilies

01-04-2012, 03:38 PM

They're beautiful!

Bridget

01-04-2012, 04:05 PM

They are very beautiful!!

Kate, I agree it's really hard not to take it personally. Look at me, I was just talking about taking a daycare child's behavior personally!

daylilies

01-04-2012, 04:16 PM

Haha! That is true!
I'm going to have a nervous breakdown soon though if I don't figure it out. I hear this age is tame compared to tweens and teenagers when they get hormones.
When he screamed all the way home after the library incident, I was able to block it out and not react. He was better around the time we got home and even went to the sidewalk to take in the recycling bins without being asked :laugh:

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 06:32 PM

:( The temper tantrums get easier to deal with in that they're better able to communicate what they're thinking as tweens/teens. Not that what they're thinking is actually an accurate assessment of events, as i've been learning recently myself. :P I'm not sure if that's helpful at all, but I will say that with my older girls I thought their easiest years thus far were from 7/8-16/17.

Beautiful Myles! :wub:

daylilies

01-04-2012, 06:43 PM

I hope you're right Chrissy! :)
He was a sweetie tonight...he wanted to cuddle for a long time after I read him his book and he loves to play with my hair. He messed it all up and said "You look beautiful like that, Mommy" :wub:

missychrissy

01-04-2012, 06:47 PM

:wub: that's really sweet. I'd focus more on those positive moments and let the negative ones go. I am also jealous-I love having my hair played with but none of my kids were into that at any age. I remember putting berets in my dad's hair for hours on Saturday mornings while watching cartoons.

daylilies

01-04-2012, 06:50 PM

I love having my hair played with too. I could fall asleep like that.

girlwonder

01-04-2012, 08:34 PM

Ugh. When my dh says "I'm sure we can figure it out on the fly" that really means that I will spend the week trying to get it all organized and set up so it all works out. Sometimes I really don't like being the wife.

AmeriBrit

01-05-2012, 02:51 AM

Those were some beautiful kids, Myles!

Kate, definitely try to dwell more on the positive than the negative and don't let the whole parenting thing get you down. It's not an easy job!

Katy, sorry you're left with organizing everything; maybe look on the brightside and organize something you really want to do if he doesn't want to have any input on the decisions!

It has been raining for 3 days now with 60-100 mph winds.....look at my poor little tree on my front lawn!

http://a5.sphotos.ak.fbcdn.net/hphotos-ak-snc7/407051_10150480804018141_648493140_8915477_1884361 030_n.jpg

There have been a few deaths from the winds; one guy got impaled by a tree branch that flew through his front windshield and another got hit by a big truck that overturned from the wind at a pedestrian crossing! I think I'm just going to stay inside til it passes over (hopefully some time this week/end!)

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 06:13 AM

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 06:13 AM

There have been a few deaths from the winds; one guy got impaled by a tree branch that flew through his front windshield and another got hit by a big truck that overturned from the wind at a pedestrian crossing! I think I'm just going to stay inside til it passes over (hopefully some time this week/end!)

WOw that is scary! I would definitely being staying inside as well!! :shocker:

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 06:14 AM

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 06:16 AM

Ash, that's crazy. I can't even imagine what 100 mph winds would be like. I think I heard about the guy being impaled by the tree branch somewhere in the last day or so. I didn't know it was near you. Stay safe!

I had a talk with Rich last night and it was awful. I was nice, of course, and tried to be honest without being accusatory or anything. I just told him how I felt and it made him cry which made me cry. And then he had to tell me how he felt and I couldn't handle it. I feel selfish and mean but I had to stop him and say, "I can't do this any more." I cannot think of his feelings to the exclusion of my own, which I think I've done for too many years already. I did tell him that I didn't know what I wanted to do and that moving out wasn't anything that was going to happen in the imminent future. I don't want to give him false hope but I don't want him getting all upset about it either. Ugh.

Right now I don't know what's harder. Parenting or being a spouse. :cry:

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 06:24 AM

Chrissy, I don't know what to say hon :( I just wanted to offer some :hugs:

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 06:38 AM

It's ok. I know no one else can give me any answers.

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 06:39 AM

It's ok. I know no one else can give me any answers.

I have the ultimate solution.

We both ditch our husbands and run off together :ohyea:

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 06:43 AM

I have the ultimate solution.

We both ditch our husbands and run off together :ohyea:

:hooray: Awesome!

Bridget

01-05-2012, 07:25 AM

Wait for me!

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 08:04 AM

Wait for me!

Sweet! :cabbage: :laugh:

Suja

01-05-2012, 08:27 AM

I have the ultimate solution.

We both ditch our husbands and run off together :ohyea:

My SIL was telling me that she is DONE with men, and if this marriage thing does not work out, she's playing for the other team, and running off with her best GF. Every full moon, they get to have a one night stand with a guy if they want.

Suja

01-05-2012, 08:28 AM

Sweet! :cabbage: :laugh:

Maybe we can start an all female commune?

Bridget

01-05-2012, 08:28 AM

My SIL was telling me that she is DONE with men, and if this marriage thing does not work out, she's playing for the other team, and running off with her best GF. Every full moon, they get to have a one night stand with a guy if they want.

:laugh: That's awesome. My best friend and I always talk about raising our kids together and ditching our men.

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 08:30 AM

Sounds great, except the one night stand business. Ick.

daylilies

01-05-2012, 08:43 AM

Ash, I hope everything is okay over there!

Am I too late for the commune?

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 08:47 AM

It's never too late!

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 08:52 AM

My SIL was telling me that she is DONE with men, and if this marriage thing does not work out, she's playing for the other team, and running off with her best GF. Every full moon, they get to have a one night stand with a guy if they want.

:laugh: Too funny!!!!

Am I too late for the commune?

Definitely not! The more the merrier!!!

Cosmosmom

01-05-2012, 08:52 AM

:hugs: Chrissy.

Yeah my MIL says she is done with men. Tried marriage three times and in the waiting part of divorcing number 3. Had some dates and chatting online but says they all turn out to be pigs or game players. She is just waiting friendship and companionship now. We just need to get her up by us already.

Not sure that going lesbian is the answer though....those relationships can have just as many issues!

I too like having my hair played with. I LOVE going to get my hair done and when I get it washed, the scalp massage...OMG that is great. My sister and I used to do each others hair all the time....and we did dad's hair (he actually had a LOT of hair back than....long, wavy thick red hair....I consider my hair brown but look like a redhead in the sunlight) a lot but we couldn't use scissors, gel or hair spray. Brushes, hair accessories and a bit of water were ok.

So I get American Girl catalogs....and DH LOVES looking at them. He used to think that they were so expensive but now he's like, well isn't any worse than buying Legos. LOL I know his mom wants a boy and said she told Grandma before she died to find us a boy (they are catholic and believers). I think that DH and I have a bit of a preference for a girl. But yeah he likes all the accessories and animals and stuff you can get for those dolls. Like the new one this year is into gymnastics and he was like they have everything but a locker...they dropped the ball there and she should have a locker. LOL

I'm happy, it's almost Friday. And it's sunny out and i think that we might actually hit 41 degrees! That is super warm and might be close to record breaking this time of year. I think that last year we only had a few days all month that we were not below zero at some point in the day.

Oh and Kate, ummm I think that I even see my dogs as a reflection of myself. LOL And I know DH takes it personally when the dog doesn't listen or is not behaving. He was not happy with molly whining so much in class, doesn't seem interested in the treats like the others and how she sticks to us and doesn't want to play like a lot of the other puppies. But than we did a follow me exercise and a name recognition one and she was a champ at that so he was a lot happier that we got something she was so good at.
I told him if she never did anything else....I want the dog that is attached to me and follows me around and comes when called. That she can sit and lie down is a bonus. So far so good! Really hoping that with some more work and time that she can be in the yard like Cosmo without a leash...our yard is not fenced in and probably will not be (I'm not on a busy street).

Cosmosmom

01-05-2012, 08:55 AM

I am not going to join the commune....but can we still be friends right? :)

I had enough of all female living in college going to a women's college.

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 08:59 AM

Of course, we're friends for life Jennifer!

And I gotta warn you, I had 3 girls and none of them took to dolls or anything girlie at all. Much to my own disappointment, because I :wub: loved dolls growing up! I guess so much so that I couldn't wait to have a real life baby of my own.

raspberry

01-05-2012, 09:02 AM

Hey all, Ashley those winds sound brutal. I hate wind. I heard that report about the man being impaled, how sad.

I feel like a total wimp, we're having a cold front and I am frozen, my hands and toes are so cold. I keep drinking hot tea. Even though I do like the change of seasons, I loathe being cold. On the other hand I also hate being hot. I want a perfect 76 degrees all the time, thankyouverymuch. Not sure where I would find that, San Diego maybe?

speaking of communes. One time my sister and I were on vacation in Honolulu, and our hotel room looked down upon a very laid back kind of a commune looking apartment complex. We spent way too much time watching the people come and go, tend to their rooftop garden, it was actually fascinating. This was years ago, but I can still see the dreadlocked guys. I was a teenager, so I am sure my hormones were the ones fascinated, heh.

Suja

01-05-2012, 10:11 AM

Coming from 90 degree weather to relatively cold weather has been brutal. Plus, the kid keeps wanting to go outside (she practically lived outside when we were in India), and unhappy when she can't. I'm like Shelley - don't like hot or cold weather, although if I had to pick one, I'd choose cold over hot. Someone I know moved from Ithaca, NY to Fairbanks, AK, and they've been clocking some impressive temps in the -40 degree range. That kind of cold, I'm pretty sure I couldn't handle.

I love having my hair played with, but not by kids, although I've been known to let them play with it so it would buy me some peace and quiet. If my mom would let me (I haven't tried lately), I'd still lie on her lap and have her stroke my hair. I've always loved that.

ETA: http://www.theatlantic.com/business/archive/2012/01/the-23-best-countries-for-work-life-balance-we-are-number-23/250830/ Interesting that work-life somehow translates to work-life with kids. What about work-life balance for everyone that doesn't have kids? They don't need it?

demigraf

01-05-2012, 10:32 AM

I would pick hot and muggy over cold any day. I used to say it's because I was born in a tropical climate, but I guess not if you can be born in India and prefer the cold. Thanks for throwing my hypothesis out the window, Suja! LOL.

Those are some scary winds, Ash. Of all things to be paranoid about, I now have to be afraid of the combination of branches in the breeze. Oy!

Chrissy, :hugs:, it sounds like you had a really tough conversation last nite. I can see how hard you're trying to be a friend to Rich. Feel free not to answer this, but can you talk with us more about what's missing? Do you feel like he lacks independence and initiative (as you'd mentioned before)? Or is it mainly that you don't feel a certain way about him that you want to feel for your husband? Or maybe there are things he needs to work on, where, if they went away, you'd actually want to stick around? Honestly, you don't have to respond. I'm just curious and want to be able to provide feedback where I can.

I understand the commune thing. I had similar ideas once. My high school BFF and I always said we'd live together if we weren't attached by a certain age, and that we'd just give each other high fives every night before going to bed.

Speaking of high fives, Santi has just this week started to greet B in the mornings with a deep embrace and a kiss on the lips. I want to offer a correction, but don't want it to seem like it's because I'm anti-gay. I'd be uncomfy with it even if it were a girl buddy doing it that way. Santi's mommy is just very hands on, an so that's how he must have learned to show affection. It's actually very sweet and cute, but probably an area where some guidance is appropriate. Should I teach them a new special handshake just for them?

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 10:58 AM

Hot or cold doesn't matter to me.

I absolutely loathe humidity though!!! Miserable :pokey:

AmeriBrit

01-05-2012, 11:12 AM

Growing up in AR and reading the Bronte sisters' novels, I always thought I'd love living in grey, cold England, but I'd prefer something a bit sunnier and warmer. I think about Spain often! LOL.

I hate having my hair touched. I can get over sensitized (is that a word? My brain is slow today) very easily. My brother used to pull my hair as he walked past me any chance he got, so maybe that's why I don't like anyone touching my hair now. I don't mind getting my head massaged or having my hair done but I don't like people just playing with my hair.

Myles, I don't know what I'd do with the S&B greeting situation. Do you think if you ignored it that he'd eventually greet him some other way?

And hey, Shelley; I haven't seen you post here for a bit and was wondering where you were! Glad to see you're still hanging out with us! :)

raspberry

01-05-2012, 11:32 AM

Gilly used to hug and kiss everybody he met, it was fine when it someone we knew, but one day when he wanted to kiss the grocery store clerk, I had to gently get out that situation! He eventually outgrew it.

Oh and I love to have my hair played with, my dh does it and I love it. And I know this will sound weird but I love to have my feet tickled. My oldest niece, who is 11 years younger than me, she and I started tickling each other's feet one day, and now we do it when whenever we see each other. My 2 other nieces do it too. I know most people don't want their feet touched, let alone tickled, what can I say, I am an odd one.

Ash, I never realized how much the weather affected my moods until I moved to Florida, where it's almost always sunny. A couple of winters back, a friend who in lives in NY, told me it's harder to be depressed when it's sunny outside all the time. So true. When I lived in Alaska, I lived like a bear, eating and hibernating all winter long and waiting for spring.

Suja

01-05-2012, 11:39 AM

Weather definitely affects my mood as well. A couple of sunless days, and I turn even *****ier than normal. Back when I had PPD, sunshine was part of the treatment.

AmeriBrit

01-05-2012, 11:39 AM

Ash, I never realized how much the weather affected my moods until I moved to Florida, where it's almost always sunny. A couple of winters back, a friend who in lives in NY, told me it's harder to be depressed when it's sunny outside all the time. So true. When I lived in Alaska, I lived like a bear, eating and hibernating all winter long and waiting for spring.

Yes, that is so true! I think we've had a particularly grey fall/winter this year after not much of a summer, so it's really affected me this year. I think I might look at getting one of those SAD light boxes and see if that helps. The other day when I was feeling homesick, I browsed a realty web site for my home town and just looking at the pictures of the houses in all the sunshine made me long to be there right then and there!

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 11:43 AM

I would pick hot and muggy over cold any day. I used to say it's because I was born in a tropical climate, but I guess not if you can be born in India and prefer the cold. Thanks for throwing my hypothesis out the window, Suja! LOL.

---
Chrissy, :hugs:, it sounds like you had a really tough conversation last nite. I can see how hard you're trying to be a friend to Rich. Feel free not to answer this, but can you talk with us more about what's missing? Do you feel like he lacks independence and initiative (as you'd mentioned before)? Or is it mainly that you don't feel a certain way about him that you want to feel for your husband? Or maybe there are things he needs to work on, where, if they went away, you'd actually want to stick around? Honestly, you don't have to respond. I'm just curious and want to be able to provide feedback where I can.

---

Speaking of high fives, Santi has just this week started to greet B in the mornings with a deep embrace and a kiss on the lips. I want to offer a correction, but don't want it to seem like it's because I'm anti-gay. I'd be uncomfy with it even if it were a girl buddy doing it that way. Santi's mommy is just very hands on, an so that's how he must have learned to show affection. It's actually very sweet and cute, but probably an area where some guidance is appropriate. Should I teach them a new special handshake just for them?

Hey, we've had this conversation before too. I was born and raised in upstate NY (quite near Ithaca actually) and I loathe the cold with a passion. I much prefer heat and humidity doesn't bother me at all.

As for me and Rich, it's a combination of things. He leaves all the decisions up to me and because of the years he spent drinking and some of the stuff he did, and didn't do for the family, during that time built up a lot of resentment. So no, I don't feel for him like I used to.

I think I'd ignore the kissing because I'm sure they'll outgrow it.

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 11:44 AM

So I guess I am the only weirdo who dislikes the sunshine. It's hot, it's bright, and it burns me like a lobster :laugh:

daylilies

01-05-2012, 11:51 AM

About the kissing thing-I believe personal space should be taught the earlier the better. We're working on that with Josh-he is always getting so close to us that he's stepping on our toes or standing right behind us so we trip over him all the time, and he gets in the cats' faces which doesn't bother them but not all animals are as docile as they are. Some kids really hate other kids getting too close so we're working on it.

I am not going to join the commune....but can we still be friends right? :)

I had enough of all female living in college going to a women's college.

I had a disasterous time at my women's college but I would not be against a commune full of friends as opposed a bunch of girls I don't really know.

As for the seasons, it really gets me down when it's grey and rainy. Sometimes I'll be really tired one day and not know why until I realize it's the weather. Winter bothers me too, because there's so little to do outside the house but still indoors.

I tried to sign up Josh for karate but one class was already full and the other class is not full enough...so they're going to call me when a space opens up or someone else joins the small class. But we've already missed a week so I don't know how useful it will be for him if he misses a lot. At least we'll get a sampling, maybe.

Bridget

01-05-2012, 11:59 AM

I don't know if the weather affect my mood enough to mention. I am even keeled to a fault (so I've been told). But I do prefer sunny and mild. Not too hot. I think dbf would prefer I jump and down and squeal with joy when he gives me good news but that's just not my style:) Hawaii was perfect weather-wise most of the time. When it was too hot the beach was never far off. But Savana is like a different person in the winter when she cannot go outside as often. She needs to live in a warm climate. We're working on getting her back to Hawaii:) It is seriously one of the factors in my decision. She is depressed and anxious in the winter.

Mylah, a long embrace and kiss on the lips would not phase me in the least at that age. The love that children feel for each other is comparable in their minds only to love they they feel for us so only natural that they would express it in a similar way. I agree that personal space is an important lesson but I do not think it applies in cases of mutual affection.

daylilies

01-05-2012, 12:08 PM

Oh sure, if the other boy doesn't mind I don't have a problem with it. I just cringe when Josh tackles other kids with a hug without any notice or wants to go up to dogs we don't know and pet them without asking (he's pretty good about that now, though)

Not long from now though, unwelcome touches are going to be less accepted (especially when his girl friends get to that "boys are icky" stage LOL)

I was listening to some song on the radio that made me cry and I had to change it before we got to Josh's school. Some country song about the various stages in a child's life and "this won't last for long". :cry:

demigraf

01-05-2012, 12:19 PM

With Bodhi... I don't know if all the kids are greeted this way but ... when he walks into the room, he's treated like a rock star. I love to watch it happen. Everyone seems so excited when he arrives. The kids jump up and down, drop what they're doing and run over. It must do wonders for his self-esteem. LOL. In general, kissed or not, he looks like he doesn't welcome all the attention 100% (a part of him looks like a deer caught in headlights). With S, he kind stands there and lets the hug and kiss happen, but doesn't really return it. That's possibly because he's pinned by S's great big bear hug. I not only want to teach him personal space; eventually, I'd like to teach him what I feel that particular combination of hug and mouth kiss is reserved for. But I think I agree; my reflex has been to leave it alone for now, and I see it as something that will either adapt to another form of greeting, or can be addressed down the line.

You guys have seen the recurring SNL sketch with the kissing family (https://www.google.com/search?q=SNL%20affectionate%20family&rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&oe=&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hl=en&tbo=u&tbm=vid&source=og&sa=N&tab=wv&ei=mPYFT7aRE-aQiQKysYyADA), right? It's hilarious, and also an extreme example of where physical affection can be too much of a good thing.

demigraf

01-05-2012, 12:28 PM

So I guess I am the only weirdo who dislikes the sunshine. It's hot, it's bright, and it burns me like a lobster :laugh:

Girl, you picked the wrong state to live in then. LOL. I'd love to send some of our fog your way this summer.

As for me and Rich, it's a combination of things. He leaves all the decisions up to me and because of the years he spent drinking and some of the stuff he did, and didn't do for the family, during that time built up a lot of resentment. So no, I don't feel for him like I used to.

Do you see yourself as wanting to let go of the resentment, and is there anything he could do to make up for it? BTW, I am in full support of anything you want to do. When you almost got that other place to live, I was excited for you because I think a change of scenery does wonders for mental clarity. I just want you to feel happy/fulfilled without regrets, mama.

Cosmosmom

01-05-2012, 12:31 PM

So I guess I am the only weirdo who dislikes the sunshine. It's hot, it's bright, and it burns me like a lobster :laugh:

It's not that weird. Like I really feel good when it's sunny...but don't like to be hot. So this month can be when we get some of the brightest days of the year with a brilliant blue sky. But if it's -2 outside.....that sun doesn't feel very hot at all! :lol: And you are so bundled up that the sun cannot burn you. But it sure brightens up the mood when you look out the window. :)

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 12:34 PM

Girl, you picked the wrong state to live in then. LOL. I'd love to send some of our fog your way this summer.

If I had the option I would be somewhere, anywhere else. I keep hoping I'll convince DH to move one day :fingerscrossed:

daylilies

01-05-2012, 12:34 PM

Hahah, no, I've never seen that SNL skit. I just watched the one with James Franco :wub: He can kiss me like that any time!

It must be awesome for Bodhi to be accepted like that. I have to admit I'm proud when I see a lot of kids calling for Josh on the playground.

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 12:34 PM

Do you see yourself as wanting to let go of the resentment, and is there anything he could do to make up for it? BTW, I am in full support of anything you want to do. When you almost got that other place to live, I was excited for you because I think a change of scenery does wonders for mental clarity. I just want you to feel happy/fulfilled without regrets, mama.

I'd love to let go of the resentment, I just don't know how. I have a lot of anxiety about the drinking starting up again in the future too because we've had this cycle 3 times now in our relationship. Well, 4 if you could our very first years when we broke up for 11 months.

I was totally happy with getting my own place, but when I told everyone that I'd actually looked at one, the girls were livid with me. They cried, said stuff....my one daughter sent a text to my brother saying I was being a b1tch and that she'd never come visit me. It's made me re-think things. Sure, I'm miserable now but it's a light kind of misery compared to what it would be if I upset all my kids. And Rich. The idea of him being broken hearted doesn't sit well with me either.

I'm hoping the therapy sessions will help me figure all this out.

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 12:36 PM

It's not that weird. Like I really feel good when it's sunny...but don't like to be hot. So this month can be when we get some of the brightest days of the year with a brilliant blue sky. But if it's -2 outside.....that sun doesn't feel very hot at all! :lol: And you are so bundled up that the sun cannot burn you. But it sure brightens up the mood when you look out the window. :)

That sounds perfect!!!

Cosmosmom

01-05-2012, 12:40 PM

I'm leaving work early today. Taking Cosmo into the vet. She has for a while now been prone to bloodshot eyes, especially later in the day. One vet a few years ago said just seasonal allergies. Well recently she has been waking up with bloodshot eyes...like she had a wild night at the bar instead of being in bed with me. Molly likes to jump in her face, climb on her, lick her face (mouth, teeth, eyes...everything). So I want to make sure that she didn't scratch her eye or something. Or maybe there are some drops we can do if it is allergies. She did used to be an almost entirely indoor dog but when we got the house, she has been going outside a lot more. And we have had a very warm winter so even a lot of people have been having an extended allergy season. Doesn't seem to affect her vision and she doesn't seem to be bothered by them. Except this week she has had a number of eye boogers when she doesn't normally have many. So I don't know. We have switched vets since getting Molly so good to get Cosmo established anyway.

Suja

01-05-2012, 12:42 PM

-2 is "perfect"? You're a loon! I do agree with the whole 'I like sunshine, but not the heat' mentality, however.

On the kids' hugging/kissing thing, I wouldn't worry about it until they enter the school system. By then, they should be taught about respecting personal space, mostly because school systems can have weird policies about touching.

Chrissy, I hope you can find peace.

Smplyme89

01-05-2012, 12:47 PM

I'd love to let go of the resentment, I just don't know how. I have a lot of anxiety about the drinking starting up again in the future too because we've had this cycle 3 times now in our relationship. Well, 4 if you could our very first years when we broke up for 11 months.

I was totally happy with getting my own place, but when I told everyone that I'd actually looked at one, the girls were livid with me. They cried, said stuff....my one daughter sent a text to my brother saying I was being a b1tch and that she'd never come visit me. It's made me re-think things. Sure, I'm miserable now but it's a light kind of misery compared to what it would be if I upset all my kids. And Rich. The idea of him being broken hearted doesn't sit well with me either.

I'm hoping the therapy sessions will help me figure all this out.

I hope you know that girls are not neccesarily lashing out as you, so much as they are at the idea of having a split family. I remember (very selfishly) wanting to my mom to leave (I know opposite issue) my dad and resenting her for staying iwth him. As I got older (and after I met DH) I began to really understand and see things from my moms perspective. In a way I never could before.

I don't know what my point is other than that whatever decision you make, it will be ok. It might take some time for the girls to work through their emotions if you decide to leave, but they will in fact come around. :hugs: You are an amazing mom and I know that they see that. :hugs:

daylilies

01-05-2012, 01:38 PM

I hope Cosmo is okay, Jennifer!

Bridget

01-05-2012, 03:52 PM

Suja

01-05-2012, 04:17 PM

I can understand that rule. Some kid gets poked in the eye with it, and hello, lawsuit! Just let her know there are different rules at school and home, you know it's hard to keep track, and that you understand she wasn't doing anything wrong.

daylilies

01-05-2012, 04:38 PM

That is hard. I agree with Suja.

AbbeysMom

01-05-2012, 04:52 PM

The kiss on the lips would bug me because of germ-sharing, particularly in the cold season. I would probably try to steer him to kiss on the cheek... actually I think I had to do that with Abbey and her bff.

I need sun too, winter or summer. Colorado was great for that (300 days of sun). Today was blissfully sunny here too, and 70 degrees. It was nice to be outside all day.

Bridget, that's strange about the stick (the rule is strange, IMO). I'd probably tell Savana that life would be pretty boring if she just one color all the time anyway. Maybe tomorrow she can ask her teacher what she has to do to be purple.

I just had a pretty major allergic reaction to jalapeños, of all things. I was literally in the worst pain of my life, it felt like my face and hands were being burned off. I was really worried it scared Abbey (I was screaming with pain before we found some lidocaine and I took a Benedryl). But she was OK, actually she was just helpful and concerned. Good thing her and DH were home.

Bridget

01-05-2012, 05:02 PM

Freaky Molly! I would have been terrified!

And yeah, I have told her all those things. That she didn't do anything wrong. THat she just made a mistake. She knows that there are different rules in different places and has understood that since a very young age. It just bugs me anyway. And it's going to weigh on her mind no matter what I say. She won't get her idiotic "treat for being good" at the end of the week either. Do you really think a child getting poked with a stick would result in a lawsuit? What about falling off all the playground equipment? I just think it reeks of overcrowded/unsupervised schooling. Kids should be able to pick up a flippin stick and look at it. If I know Savana she was probably seeing if she could tell what sort of tree it came from. Not saying she'd be able to, but that's the kind of thing she likes to pretend.
Eh, I'm just in a mood. Pms.

daylilies

01-05-2012, 05:10 PM

My husband is allergic to jalapenos. I don't think he reacts like that though, he gets ill. IDK, we haven't tested the results in a while :laugh:

AbbeysMom

01-05-2012, 05:18 PM

Then I texted my sisters and they both said they have had terrible reactions to peppers. I should have responded with "you think we can please share this information in the future?" lol

Gwenn

01-05-2012, 05:32 PM

So I guess I am the only weirdo who dislikes the sunshine. It's hot, it's bright, and it burns me like a lobster :laugh:

I like it to a point, but I get tired of it after a long AZ summer and am ready for rain.

Freaky Molly! I would have been terrified!

And yeah, I have told her all those things. That she didn't do anything wrong. THat she just made a mistake. She knows that there are different rules in different places and has understood that since a very young age. It just bugs me anyway. And it's going to weigh on her mind no matter what I say. She won't get her idiotic "treat for being good" at the end of the week either. Do you really think a child getting poked with a stick would result in a lawsuit? What about falling off all the playground equipment? I just think it reeks of overcrowded/unsupervised schooling. Kids should be able to pick up a flippin stick and look at it. If I know Savana she was probably seeing if she could tell what sort of tree it came from. Not saying she'd be able to, but that's the kind of thing she likes to pretend.
Eh, I'm just in a mood. Pms.

I'm sorry about what happened. But yes, these things do and have resulted in lawsuits. Public schools have to be extremely careful because there are parents that move from district to district and state to state and sue one district after another, just so they can make money. My mother dealt with one of these families, and other people I've known have known other families like that. It's really, really, sad but just about everything has to be prevented in advance of a lawsuit. I know - it's the reason for the mounds of paperwork I have to complete for every child I see.

The playground monitors in schools I have worked in get upset if they see kids with sticks, too. There are so few of them vs. so many children that they just can't count on being in a position to prevent poking/throwing so they just expect the kids to stay away from sticks. I hate it for all the reasons you do, but I understand the reason behind it.

daylilies

01-05-2012, 05:33 PM

So sorry :( Now you know! (this was in response to Molly's jalapeno reaction by the way ;))

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 06:04 PM

Not only do they have to worry about one child swatting another with a stick, but they also have to worry about the child that's holding the stick falling and impaling herself on it. There are simply far too many kids to adequately watch them all with stuff like this, so it's easier to make a rule like this for everyone.

I think it's stupid that she won't get a prize just for that though. it seems like a small thing to me.

Ky'sMom

01-05-2012, 06:50 PM

I also understand the stick rule. We have that one as well. Ky's school gets recess every day for 30 minutes and they are not allowed to play with sticks or pick up rocks, all the stuff Ky usually likes to do at the park, and they actually don't have that many kids. Two grades go out at once for recess, Ky is in 4th and the 2nd graders also come out with his grade. Ther are 48 kids all together for each recess period and 6 teachers/assistants watching so they have specific rules about not picking up things due to lawsuits like Mandy mentioned. It is ridiculous but that is the price we pay for having to deal with idiotic, sue-happy people. And people do sue if their child falls off of playground equipment and gets hurt. It has happened at a city park here in Atlanta years ago which was when they re-did a lot of playgrounds and closed/took out all of the playground equipment of others that they deemed "un-safe" in order to protect the city from future lawsuits.

Chrissy I also wanted to send hugs to you. Ironically I was going to ask questions similar to what Myles asked. It is very hard to decide to forgive someone and even harder to actually do it. Years ago I made it a mission of mine to learn to forgive people and had to remind myself daily that I wasn't letting someone get away with something horrible they have done to me. I was making the best decision for my life to move forward instead. I forgive very easily now. The first person I forgave was my step father for abusing me. It took years after I decided to forgive him to actually forgive and let it go. It is easy in comparison to forgive my own DH for the things he has done to me. Especially since I love him and he is not a horrible, evil person unlike my step father. But even so it still takes a while. Like I said yesterday I am still mad at him for the way he was when I was PG with and after having Elle. I know it will take a long time for me to be fully over it, but I have forgiven him and I decided to start fresh with him and move forward.

I so hope you have more peace this year. I thought of you on NYE and hoped that 2012 will bring tons of positive changes into your life and your family.

Erin

Ky'sMom

01-05-2012, 07:00 PM

I think it's stupid that she won't get a prize just for that though. it seems like a small thing to me.

Forgot to say that ITA with this. I don't see how that situation constitutes a move from green to yellow anyway. From how you described it, it seems like a very miniscule part of the day. I don't know if I would speak to the teacher about it thought just because it is such a small thing, but I would probably make sure to do something special with Savana this weekend in order to celebrate her being all around good anyway and for having a great week at school.

Ah kindergarten....I am reminded how Ky was rarely on green LOL! He talked too much and rarely stayed "on task" but I LOVED his teacher and she made it a point to explain to all us parents that the colors weren't an indication of good or bad that all of her kids were good. The colors were just a reminder to the child of how we should behave in school. Also in our school you could get back "on green" by being helpful and considerate of others and staying on task and following directions. Most of the kids ended up "on green" by the end of the day even Ky with his talking self.

And that is too cute Myles about Bodhi the daycare rock star! Elle is similar at her daycare. She was cracking me up last week talking about how her friends were missing her while she was on Christmas vacation. She kept saying that they were going to want to know everything that Santa brought her and they would want to see all her pretty new outfits. She has worn a new outfit every day to school this week and it was hilarious because I brought her to school on Tuesday and she walked in and her best friend J was like "Hey! It's Ellasyn!!!" and she said "Yes, it's me, it's Ellasyn" like she was a movie star and they proceeded to tell her how much they missed her and asked her what she got for Christmas, everything that she had told me they were going to ask. It was really cute.

Erin

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 07:01 PM

I so hope you have more peace this year. I thought of you on NYE and hoped that 2012 will bring tons of positive changes into your life and your family.

Erin

:wub: aww, thank you.

I do forgive easily and I don't hold grudges. A part of me wonders if I was too forgiving of Rich, especially in the beginning. Maybe if I'd put my foot down more about the drinking and how he acted...but that's a what if and that kind of circular thinking doesn't help. I do know at some point I'll forgive him and let go of all the anger and resentment. I guess the part I'm really struggling with is wondering 1) is it worth it to try one more time? Like I said, this was our 4th cycle. It's exhausting. and 2) if I do give it another try, what if I find out that all my love for him is just gone and won't ever come back? I mean the 'in love' love. I'll always love him. He's the father of my children and we've had a great many good experiences together.

Bridget

01-05-2012, 07:01 PM

Yes, I see what you all are saying. I understand the stick rule. Like I said, just over emotional here. I just hate to see her stressed about "being good" when she tries so hard. She just went to bed crying that she isn't going to get her prize and she's afraid she'll cry in front of her friends.

Erin, I think your capacity for forgiveness is pretty amazing. As I've grown older I have also learned not to hold grudges and to just let go.
Chrissy, I do think I understand how you feel. I hope you can find peace with whatever decision you make. I feel like maybe you need to be selfish and do what feels right for you. The rest of the family may have their own opinions but when it's all said and done, they will be fine. And why should you have to live in misery?

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 07:05 PM

That breaks my heart that she went to bed crying :cry: poor little girl.

I don't know if I could ever get to the place where I'd be ok upsetting my kids on that level. When I say they were upset, they were upset like I'd never seen them. I imagine it's how they'd be if one of us died. That bad. :(

Ky'sMom

01-05-2012, 07:25 PM

Poor Savana! I also don't like it when my kids cry at bed time. I just think when we go to sleep and when/if we part in the morning for the day they should be on a happy note, not plagued by sadness or anger.

On another note, I was re-reading the thread about the #1 song the day you were born and someone's was George Micheal One More Try, which is one of my all time favorite songs. I have been listening to it continuously now for 15 minutes LOL! I can't believe she thought it was blah. I love that song. I know some people just don't like George Micheal but I always thought he had one of the best singing voices, plus I just love a lot of 80s music. One More Try is one of my favorite songs to sing. Listening to it is making me think I need to find a karaoke bar and belt it out really well. Last time I went to one was years ago when someone mentioned Purple Rain to me and I got all fixated on Purple Rain and had to go sing it so I could get it out of me. Man, now I am thinking about Purple Rain....

ETA: This reminds me of when we mentioned Aerosmith's "I don't wanna miss a thing" on FB and I was stuck on that song for a while after that and got on DH's nerves so bad. He hates road trips with me because I still have old Prince, George Michael, and a greatest hits Aerosmith CD(s) and I will sing every song on each CD about 3 times on our trips to Toledo or Chicago by car. But he likes a song called "Leroy Brown" and he sings it over and over and over on road trips so he doesn't have any room to complain.

Erin

missychrissy

01-05-2012, 07:31 PM

:lol: Erin! I need to go karaoking with you!! Although, I don't sing all that well. I still enjoy it very much. :P

daylilies

01-05-2012, 08:09 PM

I love that George Michael song too. What bothers me is that I knew it when it was new or at least newish (on the radio a lot), and it came out the year that person was born...LOL
I think it used to remind me of someone, but I can't remember who now. When I was a tween and teen I was all about attaching songs to the boys I had crushes on. I still remember some of those connections, but I've forgotten a lot now.
I've never been to karaoke. I don't know anyone who does it and DH wouldn't be caught dead doing it. I would rock some NKOTB though :)

Ky'sMom

01-05-2012, 08:09 PM

I don't sing all that well IMO either. DH thinks I sing pretty well, so does Ky but neither of them can carry a tune so I don't put much on their opinions LOL!

My grandma was a trained singer and pianist. She always told me that I could be a good singer if I got singing lessons and learned to control my voice. I do want to do that one day, maybe when the kids are grown and out of the house. I can carry a tune and sound decent though but not all that great doing karaoke. But I love to sing ballads, especially heartfelt ones like One More Try and I love to sing screamy types of songs like Purple Rain. My favorite part is when he goes "I know, I know, I know Times are changin'" because I can scream it really loud and everyone in the car will plug their ears and Elle will tell me "Mommy, you too loud!!!" and give me one of her famous evil old lady looks.

Cosmosmom

01-05-2012, 08:35 PM

I will try to reply more tomorrow but thought I would update....vet was thinking glaucoma based on the irritation/redness of the whites of the eye and that they felt a bit hard/bulging to her. Did the eye pressure glaucoma test (just like they do to me every eye test) and was surprised that it was negative. Had another vet double check and he said the same thing and neither knows what it is. Highly suggested we set a vet ophthalmologist in the Twin Cities....closer for us than say Madison where they have another one. It will be about a 2 hour drive. Currently we have an appt for Feb 10th but might try to change that if we can. I wasn't thinking and it's 8:45 in the morning when DH doesn't get home until 7:30am so he would have to leave work early. And of course I get to stress out that the weather might be crummy and we have to reschedule it.

I just really hope that she isn't hurting and I'm really annoyed because it's been going on for a while now...just a little worse than it used to be. Asked the old vet a couple of times and got that it wasn't an infection and probably just seasonal allergies. She doesn't seem to be in pain and definitely hasn't lost vision yet but I guess since we don't know yet what it is, guess that is a something that might end up a reality. At 8 she is considered to be a more senior dog now.

And of course I have tried to research it even though eyes super gross me out and I usually give all the eye searches to my boss. But I can't find anything that fits totally....it does sound like glaucoma except of course that the eye pressure test came back normal.

Cosmosmom

01-05-2012, 08:43 PM

Oh and my song was Ooogie Boogie. 1970's music was so mostly suckage. 1980's was much better. And of course I love me some 90's grunge. One road trip song that is a must on our play list is Peaches by United States of America. LOL And ummmm, I confess a couple of Aqua songs. I love Barbie Girl and DH's favorite is Happy Boys and Happy Girls.

Ky'sMom

01-05-2012, 08:46 PM

I hope you can figure it out Jen. I also don't like looking at eye infections but poor Cosmo. I hate any sort of eye irritation. Our nice dog Mr. Hyde is prone to eye problems as well. He gets really goopy eyes and he has drops. They are pretty nasty looking. I think he has a ESP or something because as soon as I mentioned him here he came up to me to try to get me to pet him. He is a trip with all his petting. He will literally move your arm and put it around his neck so you can hug and pet him. It is so nice since he was such an anxious prone dog when we got him and he would run from people. Now he will go up to them and rub himself on them like he is a cat and try to get every person who comes in our house to pet him LOL.

And Kate I used to attach all songs to myself. I was and still am in a lot of ways very self centered. I always felt that song was about me. I also used to love to sing a Whitney Houston song - Greatest Love of All. I think I was around 5-7 when that song came out. My mom used to giggle at me when I sang it because of my arm movements and dramatic way of performing. She would have me sing it for her friends when they came over LOL! I really thought that song was about me because it began "I believe the children are our future, teach them well and let them lead the way." I remember thinking "yeah, I'm the future, you better do right by me." I was very silly as a girl and very self centered. Even when I got into gangsta rap when I was a middle schooler I used to relate the songs to myself personally. I used to like a rapper named Spice One, who my brother used to joked killed a person in every song and I used to think of myself as the characters he was talking about. I still am kind of like that about songs. Yeah...I am a weirdo.

Erin

3andMe

01-05-2012, 09:33 PM

I am having a really hard time jumping back in here. I just keep thinking "...." and then nothing.

Molly, are you feeling okay now?

Bridget, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. And I'm picturing DS being in the red zone forever because he loves sticks and rocks so much and even if he hears a rule, he can't stop his hands from reaching down and doing whatever they're not supposed to be doing (although I hope that improves as he gets older).

Chrissy, I've been hoping this year will be better for you, too.

Gwenn

01-05-2012, 09:56 PM

Jennifer, so sorry about Cosmo's eyes. Weird that the pressure test came back normal.

Erin, I never liked George Michael when he was really popular but I remember watching him perform on American Idol a few years ago and just being blown away at his actual singing skill. I'm not a big fan of his style but I downloaded Father Figure on my iPod just to sing along with because I'm so impressed by his technique. Your raving post actually made me go download One More Try! I would SO love to go Karaoke with you! My specialty is Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On from Titanic. Super cheesy, I know ... but I was really into the movie when it came out and I remember telling DH (very soon after we had met) that I could sing that song better than Celine Dion could. He refused to believe me, and one night we went to a bar with some work friends of mine and it was Karaoke night. Everyone kept trying to get me to sing and I was too nervous (I had developed horrible stage fright when I was a voice major) but at the very end of the night I got up and sang it. I don't like to sound arrogant, but I blew everyone in the bar away. They all stared at me, jaws dropped, and the DJ wanted to know why I hadn't sung anything all evening. DH was blown away too, and I always thought of it as "our song" because of that. Sadly, DH was really drunk and didn't really remember it afterward. He doesn't remember that happening at all anymore. He decided our song was Footloose. Primarily for the humor value. It has always pissed me off. Wow, tangent. I think I've only gone to Karaoke twice and I'm a little nervous. My training is singing art songs and such, so I'm afraid I would sound like an idiot singing the stuff I really enjoy listening to.

I always had some complex inner story for songs I enjoyed, too - and they were either about me or some boy I had a crush on. Depended on the focus of the song. I wonder why we all stopped doing that? I kind of miss it.

Oh, and Erin - my Aerosmith obsessive song was What it Takes. I sang/listened to that constantly for an extended period of time. That would be fun in Karaoke.

3andMe

01-05-2012, 10:59 PM

Oh, Jennifer, I got called away earlier but I wanted to mention that sometimes red eyes can be totally innocent. I went in to the eye doctor scared out of my mind last summer because my eyes had been super-red and were starting to get really painful, and I'm always a little worried about my eyes because the same thing that causes my recurrent meningitis can cause blindness, but I got tested completely and they said it was just because I wasn't getting enough sleep. Go figure. Apparently my eyes were not closed enough, so were just not getting the rest they needed, and were spending too much time open and they were getting dryer and more irritated, and each day I spent with less sleep and more time awake, the more red and irritated they got.

Natural tears helped a lot.

AmeriBrit

01-06-2012, 01:01 AM

Erin, you posted on the birth song thread that you'd not ever listened to The Kings of Leon-you must find their songs and listen to them! They are an awesome rock band! I love them!

I'm typing from my phone, but want to reply more. I'll have to log on with the laptop after while!

AmeriBrit

01-06-2012, 01:01 AM

demigraf

01-06-2012, 06:20 AM

Ack, I fell asleep with Bodhi again at 9:30, so I'm up super early, and will become a zombie later in the day. And for some reason APA won't let me multi-quote so pardon the lack of citation up ahead...

Erin, I love it that Ella speaks of herself in the 3rd person too! We are raising a couple of megalomaniacs. LOL. And talking about songs getting in your head... I have started singing the old jingle for those Mon Chi Chi dolls from the 80s to B for whatever odd reason. He doesn't know it was a product, so he thinks I made up that song and he's my Mon Chi Chi. So last night I was in the other room singing the song... "with her thumb in her mouth she's really neat... fun to wiggle her little feet... ya ya ya... ya ya ya... happy happy Mon Chi Chiiiiii!" And I hear his little voice from the other room, "No, mommy. HIM. Me. Bodhi. Boy. I am Mon Chi Chi." (I think he meant I should be singing "with his thumb in his mouth..." I'm not describing it that well, but it was crazy cute at the time.

Chrissy, when I think about your decision, I feel torn for you. In so many ways, you have such a tight-knit family that's been through a lot together. And the number of years you've pulled through in your marriage is impressive. It makes me want to root for you to stick around. And yet another side of me feels indignant for you that your needs are constantly overlooked while you spend much of your marital energy "putting up" with stuff rather than growing together. It's one of those cases where it seems to me that he needs to change but can't or won't, so you're left to do the only thing you can do, which is adjust your own thinking and raise your acceptance threshold. I know one can only do that for so long before it feels patently unfair. The one thing that jumps out at me is the fact that R doesn't want you to leave, so I wonder... is he willing to make more changes, to try harder for you? And if you saw him trying - not necessarily succeeding at first, but making a sincere and quality effort - would that persuade you to stay? Maybe you could try expressing what you need from him again, and maybe he'll really hear you, get therapy, grow up a little more, become more of his own person. Heck, he's gonna have to anyway if you leave him, so he might as well start now while he can still fight for you.

On the topic of forgiveness, I agree that it's one of the hardest things to do. I read somewhere once that the main reason to forgive another person is to let go of your own suffering. Because while you still haven't forgiven a person, you're reliving the pain that caused your anger and carrying that experience around with you your whole life, which is a disservice to yourself. And so you choose to forgive as a way of saying to yourself, "I am more than this experience that was hurtful to me once." If you can do that - that is to say, somehow see the person that hurt you as human and imperfect and dealing with his/her own suffering - you free yourself from the pain you carry around with you, which isn't doing you any good.

Ah, I had more to say about karaoke, cookie-cutter school reward systems, jalapeno allergies, my son's daily snogs :P, and poor Cosmo, but I feel a wave of sleep coming on, so I'm gonna try to ride it back to slumberland if I can. See you laters, alligators.

missychrissy

01-06-2012, 06:46 AM

... I would SO love to go Karaoke with you! My specialty is Celine Dion's My Heart Will Go On from Titanic. Super cheesy, I know ... but I was really into the movie when it came out and I remember telling DH (very soon after we had met) that I could sing that song better than Celine Dion could. He refused to believe me, and one night we went to a bar with some work friends of mine and it was Karaoke night. Everyone kept trying to get me to sing and I was too nervous (I had developed horrible stage fright when I was a voice major) but at the very end of the night I got up and sang it. I don't like to sound arrogant, but I blew everyone in the bar away. They all stared at me, jaws dropped, and the DJ wanted to know why I hadn't sung anything all evening. DH was blown away too, and I always thought of it as "our song" because of that. Sadly, DH was really drunk and didn't really remember it afterward. He doesn't remember that happening at all anymore. He decided our song was Footloose. Primarily for the humor value. It has always pissed me off. Wow, tangent. I think I've only gone to Karaoke twice and I'm a little nervous. My training is singing art songs and such, so I'm afraid I would sound like an idiot singing the stuff I really enjoy listening to....

I think the point of karaoke is for everyone to sing for fun. You don't have to sound good. Or I hope not, because I know I don't. :P But singing is fun!!!

That said, when we all go out to karaoke together I don't think I'm gonna sing with you Mandy. :D It's ok if everyone else is as bad as I am. :lol:

Chrissy, when I think about your decision, I feel torn for you. In so many ways, you have such a tight-knit family that's been through a lot together. And the number of years you've pulled through in your marriage is impressive. It makes me want to root for you to stick around. And yet another side of me feels indignant for you that your needs are constantly overlooked while you spend much of your marital energy "putting up" with stuff rather than growing together. It's one of those cases where it seems to me that he needs to change but can't or won't, so you're left to do the only thing you can do, which is adjust your own thinking and raise your acceptance threshold. I know one can only do that for so long before it feels patently unfair. The one thing that jumps out at me is the fact that R doesn't want you to leave, so I wonder... is he willing to make more changes, to try harder for you? And if you saw him trying - not necessarily succeeding at first, but making a sincere and quality effort - would that persuade you to stay? Maybe you could try expressing what you need from him again, and maybe he'll really hear you, get therapy, grow up a little more, become more of his own person. Heck, he's gonna have to anyway if you leave him, so he might as well start now while he can still fight for you.

He's definitely made changes. Except for New Years, he hasn't drank since October. Before that, it was a daily occurrence. Worse on the weekends. He's really stepped up about cleaning the house and being more patient with Conner and understanding with the girls and stuff. But he's also making more of an effort to tell me he loves me or that I'm beautiful, and in those things he never failed. He's always said those things and done things that let me know his eyes are only for me and he loves me a great deal. Now it's so frequent and all over facebook it's just become annoying. I guess what it really is is that every time he says something like that I feel guilty for not having the same feelings for him, so I just don't want to hear it.

I don't want him hugging me, kissing me or anything. I just want to co-exist and try to really process what's going on with me. Maybe with time I'll warm back up to him, but not if he keeps pushing.

Smplyme89

01-06-2012, 06:46 AM

Savana came home very upset today that she "got on yellow". They have a behavior system where they stay on green for "being good" and then move to yellow, and eventually red for "bad behavior". I am sorry for all the quotes but I have to be sure that no one thinks that's my terminology. I detest the words good and bad being used to describe children's behaviors. Anyway, she picked up a stick outside at recess and the teacher told her to put it down. Then she forgot and picked up another one a few minutes later. I'm sorry but what a crock of BS. I asked her what she was doing with the stick and she said "looking at it". And I've no doubt that she was. She collects sticks, rocks, leaves, and such all the time 'round here and we encourage it. Anyway, I guess they are not allowed to pick up sticks at school. Why? I mean, is it that difficult for a playground moniter to just moniter the way they are using the sticks? I am sure I'm making to big of a deal but I just feel very passionately about not putting mundane restrictions on children that prohibits them from following their natural instincts. Plus, she is super upset about it. Like, sit on the couch sullenly all night upset about it. :(

Unfortunately that is just one of those 'public school' things. I really don't think it warranted moving her to yellow though :ohno:

I just had a pretty major allergic reaction to jalapeños, of all things. I was literally in the worst pain of my life, it felt like my face and hands were being burned off. I was really worried it scared Abbey (I was screaming with pain before we found some lidocaine and I took a Benedryl). But she was OK, actually she was just helpful and concerned. Good thing her and DH were home.

That is SO scary!!!! I'm glad your OK!

I will try to reply more tomorrow but thought I would update....vet was thinking glaucoma based on the irritation/redness of the whites of the eye and that they felt a bit hard/bulging to her. Did the eye pressure glaucoma test (just like they do to me every eye test) and was surprised that it was negative. Had another vet double check and he said the same thing and neither knows what it is. Highly suggested we set a vet ophthalmologist in the Twin Cities....closer for us than say Madison where they have another one. It will be about a 2 hour drive. Currently we have an appt for Feb 10th but might try to change that if we can. I wasn't thinking and it's 8:45 in the morning when DH doesn't get home until 7:30am so he would have to leave work early. And of course I get to stress out that the weather might be crummy and we have to reschedule it.

I hope that everything is ok with Cosmo :( Can't beileve they can't get you in any sooner!

Chrissy, when I think about your decision, I feel torn for you. In so many ways, you have such a tight-knit family that's been through a lot together. And the number of years you've pulled through in your marriage is impressive. It makes me want to root for you to stick around. And yet another side of me feels indignant for you that your needs are constantly overlooked while you spend much of your marital energy "putting up" with stuff rather than growing together. It's one of those cases where it seems to me that he needs to change but can't or won't, so you're left to do the only thing you can do, which is adjust your own thinking and raise your acceptance threshold. I know one can only do that for so long before it feels patently unfair. The one thing that jumps out at me is the fact that R doesn't want you to leave, so I wonder... is he willing to make more changes, to try harder for you? And if you saw him trying - not necessarily succeeding at first, but making a sincere and quality effort - would that persuade you to stay? Maybe you could try expressing what you need from him again, and maybe he'll really hear you, get therapy, grow up a little more, become more of his own person. Heck, he's gonna have to anyway if you leave him, so he might as well start now while he can still fight for you.

I couldn't agree more. Many :hugs: Chrissy.

daylilies

01-06-2012, 07:31 AM

Actually I still do attach songs to people, just not quite as much. I attach songs to events too.

missychrissy

01-06-2012, 07:33 AM

I always had some complex inner story for songs I enjoyed, too - and they were either about me or some boy I had a crush on. Depended on the focus of the song. I wonder why we all stopped doing that? I kind of miss it.

Who says we all stopped? :shame:

Cosmosmom

01-06-2012, 09:34 AM

I will sing....but I might need some liquid courage first! :P I am really not a very good singer. It's why I went into orchestra. :) Even more amusing is that I have a really off sense of rythmn. I managed ok in orchestra though....I can minic something if I hear it enough usually or if I practice enough or if playing with others in orchestra. I did almost make it to state playing a solo but just missed it one year in high school.

So I think that I just dx'd Comso this morning....thought I was going to stay away from the computer on this one but the librarian in me won out. I would bet money that she has this http://www.veterinaryvision.com/dvm-scleritis.htm That first eye looks a lot like hers and she is part cocker spaniel. She has the redness in the whites of both eyes and I didn't know this but the vets yesterday both thought the eye was bulging some and harder than it should be.....which is why they both thought glaucoma right away. And were surprised when the pen thing measured the pressure as normal. Sounds like this is better as it doesn't lead to blindness like glaucoma but is less common. Sounds like the inflammation might be causing some discomfort too. :( My poor Cosmo has been having this issue for years....though it's gotten worse over time. She's a trooper though because she acts normal and seems to really enjoy life. Probably feels like normal to her now.
I'm REALLY po'd though that our old vet place....where we asked a few times about her red eyes just blew it off and never suggested seeing a specialist.

Chrissy, first I support you no matter what. But I'm glad that you are staying put for now instead of making such a change until seeing if meds and therapy help. It does sound like he's really trying...even though he's overdoing it. I remember how you used to talk about him and have hope that it can get back there again. Maybe after some time working on yourself, you might be ready for some joint therapy. Maybe you put down in writing some things for him to do/not do that you think might help. Like maybe 1. Tell me what you think/feel in private. 2. Do not post on FB or comment there. 3. Do not initiate a hug, wait for me to hug you. I don't know, just thinking it might help to have a sort of contract in writing....sometimes when emotional, you forget what was said to you.

daylilies

01-06-2012, 09:50 AM

I'm afraid to click the link, I'm kind of squeamish about pictures like that, but poor Cosmo! I hope it's not causing her much discomfort.

Josh was asking me all sorts of big questions today. Where did we all come from, how did dinosaurs get here, etc. I need to check the library for a book of questions and answers like that, or something.

Ky'sMom

01-06-2012, 09:53 AM

Mandy I also love "My Heart Will Go On!" I cannot sing it that well though because I don't have a strong voice like that. I would love to go karaoking with you just to hear you sing it! My favorite Celine Dion song to sing is "Because You Loved Me" the one featured in the movie with Michelle Pfieffer and Robert Redford where Michelle was a news reporter. I love that movie as well it is one of my favorite romantic movies. I have sung "Because You Loved Me" at karaoke before and it was decent but not all that great but I just wanted to sing it.

I admit though that I also don't put so much into music as I used to. I played a lot of instruments as a kid/teenager my grandma also made me join the church choir when I was 10 because she heard me singing some song and was impressed. Currently I don't really have time to listen to music other than being at work and when I go home I like quietness so I usually don't turn on the TV or listen to the radio. DH loves to listen to the radio but will blare it REALLY loud and it makes me get a headache so I rarely listen to music for enjoyment now.

And Chrissy, I also agree with Myles about your situation. I want the best for you and for you to be appreciated for all you do. I know that it sucks when we give so much and no one acknowledges it. I also can understand you feeling of being smothered. It is probably overwhelming for you trying to deal with so much personally and then having R keep trying to get your attention even if he is just trying to show you some concern or affection. Sometimes we just need some space to gain clarity so I truly understand that.

Erin

missychrissy

01-06-2012, 10:07 AM

Can they treat that Jennifer?

Chrissy, first I support you no matter what. But I'm glad that you are staying put for now instead of making such a change until seeing if meds and therapy help. It does sound like he's really trying...even though he's overdoing it. I remember how you used to talk about him and have hope that it can get back there again. Maybe after some time working on yourself, you might be ready for some joint therapy. Maybe you put down in writing some things for him to do/not do that you think might help. Like maybe 1. Tell me what you think/feel in private. 2. Do not post on FB or comment there. 3. Do not initiate a hug, wait for me to hug you. I don't know, just thinking it might help to have a sort of contract in writing....sometimes when emotional, you forget what was said to you.

Thank you. :wub: I do hope the therapy and anti-depressants help. I'm trying to stay open minded about my, our, future.

And Chrissy, I also agree with Myles about your situation. I want the best for you and for you to be appreciated for all you do. I know that it sucks when we give so much and no one acknowledges it. I also can understand you feeling of being smothered. It is probably overwhelming for you trying to deal with so much personally and then having R keep trying to get your attention even if he is just trying to show you some concern or affection. Sometimes we just need some space to gain clarity so I truly understand that.

Erin

Thanks Erin, and that bolded line is exactly what I've been trying to convey to Rich all along. It's not about whether I love him or not, it's just that I need space to sort things out. Without confusion.

Kate, I have no idea how I'd answer those questions! Josh is really inquisitive. Conner hasn't even asked where babies come from yet, but less big questions like that!

Suja

01-06-2012, 10:14 AM

I wish I could sing. In my head, I can, but even my mom tells me never, ever, to sing in public. I have always liked George Michael's songs. Celine, I can totally do without. I might be the only person on the planet that watched Titanic and went 'Die already, I want to go home'.

Jennifer, hope you do get an answer for what (if anything) ails Cosmo. Even if it is Glaucoma, it can be managed.

Kid had an ear re-check (clean), a urine check (clean), and I got her school forms filled out. She's been up since about 5:30. Woke up and played a little, then told me poop was coming. I told her it was okay, she has a diaper on, and she insisted on going to the toilet. I thought it was a ploy to get out of her room, but put her on the potty anyway, and sure enough, she pooped and peed. She's exhausted right now, so overly emotional, and MEAN. Wants to hit everyone. Watch her fight her nap.

missychrissy

01-06-2012, 10:24 AM

:( Sounds like a rough day. I hope she goes right to sleep.

daylilies

01-06-2012, 11:18 AM

I hope she feels better soon, Suja :(

Chrissy, he asks where babies come from too. That's easier for me since I have a pretty good grasp of how that works. :P Oh, he also asked me how the earth started. :shock:

missychrissy

01-06-2012, 11:21 AM

He has a very inquisitive mind indeed. That's good though. He's smart.

daylilies

01-06-2012, 11:27 AM

I love that about him.
I suck at putting things together, and playing physical games, but I can answer questions. Most of them anyway.

Bridget

01-06-2012, 11:56 AM

Kate, check out this (http://www.thegreatstory.org/kids.html) site. I love it.

Suja

01-06-2012, 12:13 PM

Umm... Just how do you tell little kids about the birds and the bees?

Kid fell asleep in her stroller, woke up 30 minutes later, and fought me tooth and nail about going back to sleep. I really need a nap.

Ky'sMom

01-06-2012, 01:48 PM

Kate, check out this (http://www.thegreatstory.org/kids.html) site. I love it.

That is an interesting site! It even mentions one of my favorte Nova (PBS program) shows on it at the bottom about Darwin's personal struggle with the theory of evolution versus religious creationism. That was a good one!

About the birds and bees, I am just very direct. I also checked out a book from the library for Ky and told him as simply as possible how babies are made. I mostly focused on the sperm/egg part though and the travel of both and what happens after fertilization moreso than the actual sex. DH was too embarrassed to talk to Ky about it and then he was upset that I was so "graphic" but I'm like, um....that is what happens! I think I told him around 4 years old or 5 one of the two.

Erin

Bridget

01-06-2012, 01:51 PM

Yup, same here, Erin. I just explain it like the mama's egg and the daddy's sperm join inside the mama and the baby grows. Savana did ask how the sperm gets inside the mama and I just said I would explain that to her when she was a little older. Then of course they watched Sawyer being born so get all that and it's no big deal to them at all. It makes other people in my family uncomfortable (including dbf) when they talk about Sawyer coming out of my vagina but oh well!

demigraf

01-06-2012, 02:04 PM

Oh wow. Awesome link, Bridget.

I like Josh, Kate. I like how curious he is about the way things work.

DH says S gave B another lingering mouth kiss this morning, and B did the usual thing of standing there letting it all happen, not really returning the affection. They got to playing right away shortly after that. DH says it was unsettling because, to his adult mind, it looked so romantic. I felt the same way when I witnessed it. But he left it alone, and the teachers left it alone, and we'll just see if it's just our own psyches projecting a significance that isn't there. A part of me still feels like it could stand correcting, in the same way a parent would correct a kid's use of a word, as I think there's a sort of vocabulary to body language - but the rules of body language aren't as precise, and that's one of the things that makes being human interesting, so we're just observers at this point.

I love karaoke. Bodhi's first birthday party was an excuse to karaoke. Our party theme to pretend we were in a recording studio and the guests were cutting an album. DH never edited the recordings he captured, but we do have it all on disk. My favorite number that day was "7" by Prince. I like to think I can sing, but DH acts like he's Ricky Ricardo and I'm Lucy angling at my chance to perform. I've suggested a couple of times that I sing backup on some of his musician friends' tracks (none of the big names, just like, maybe the guy with the boutique jazz label), and DH said something vague like, "yeah, maybe after a little more formal training." I felt like going "Waaah" the way Lucy did.

Suja, I hope you get some more rest, girl! I fell back asleep after my last post and got a total of 9 hours overall last night. Wow, I needed a rare night like that.

Chrissy, yes, I think all that attention and flattery must seem so hollow given the grievances you have with him. He needs to step up and earn your RESPECT. That is all.

daylilies

01-06-2012, 04:04 PM

Josh tried to kiss me rather passionately once and I did explain to him that grown ups kiss like that but kids don't. I guess I'm more strict than most of you when it comes to physical boundaries. I'd rather put a stop to it before it starts than have to explain someday that it's not okay anymore.

Umm... Just how do you tell little kids about the birds and the bees?

Kid fell asleep in her stroller, woke up 30 minutes later, and fought me tooth and nail about going back to sleep. I really need a nap.

I told Josh the lady has eggs and the man has seeds (I know, the terminology doesn't make sense, I should have just said sperm, but I'm sure he'll ask again) and when the man gives the seeds to the egg it grows into a baby. We looked at pictures of a growing baby in utero. He did not ask how the seeds get to the eggs. LOL

missychrissy

01-06-2012, 05:20 PM

That is very tricky Myles. I think the biggest worry I'd really have is whether B is comfortable with that sort of affection. It almost sounds like he's just tolerating it. Has he ever said anything about it?

I think that sounds like a good explanation Kate. I didn't know how to talk to my girls about that stuff when they were little. They were 4 and 5 (I think?) when they tried peaking under the bedroom door as my male cousin (about 15) changed his clothes. I figured they were curious about boys and girls and such, so I went to a library and got a book just for that purpose. I can't remember the discussion itself, but I do remember one page had a nude cartoon of both a female and a male from birth through mature adulthood. They were looking at it and studying the differences and changes our bodies go through at different phases, and then Jesi pointed to the 15-year-old girl and said, "That's you Mommy!" :D haha!

How that relates, I don't know. But it's what sticks out in my mind when I remember our first discussions about boys/girls.

girlwonder

01-06-2012, 05:46 PM

Found on Facebook:laugh::

IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MUFFIN- "If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She'll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She'll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into the freezer will remind her that she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She'll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger.) The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She'll smell something funny. She'll change the two-year-old. While she is changing the two-year-old the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it." by Kathy Fictorie

missychrissy

01-06-2012, 05:52 PM

Sounds about right!

daylilies

01-06-2012, 06:17 PM

Oh Katy, that is so my life!

Suja

01-06-2012, 07:14 PM

daylilies

01-06-2012, 07:40 PM

Cute!

AbbeysMom

01-06-2012, 08:15 PM

Too funny not to share: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=2856101558302&set=a.2392338404513.2135541.1132471997&type=1&ref=nf. Aren't you glad I'm just insane, not rich and insane? That would need a whole other forum.

love this. :)

Found on Facebook:laugh::

IF YOU GIVE A MOM A MUFFIN- "If you give a mom a muffin, she'll want a cup of coffee to go with it. She'll pour herself some. Her three-year-old will spill the coffee. She'll wipe it up. Wiping the floor, she will find dirty socks. She'll remember she has to do laundry. When she puts the laundry in the washer, she'll trip over boots and bump into the freezer. Bumping into the freezer will remind her that she has to plan supper. She will get out a pound of hamburger. She'll look for her cookbook. (101 Things To Make With A Pound Of Hamburger.) The cookbook is sitting under a pile of mail. She will see the phone bill, which is due tomorrow. She will look for her checkbook. The checkbook is in her purse that is being dumped out by her two-year-old. She'll smell something funny. She'll change the two-year-old. While she is changing the two-year-old the phone will ring. Her five-year-old will answer and hang up. She'll remember that she wants to phone a friend to come for coffee. Thinking of coffee will remind her that she was going to have a cup. She will pour herself some. And chances are, if she has a cup of coffee, her kids will have eaten the muffin that went with it." by Kathy Fictorie

love this too! :laugh:

And great link Bridget, Thanks!

Bridget

01-06-2012, 08:36 PM

Gah, Dbf was being a jerk tonight! It's rare that it happens nowadays but he has just one too many drinks and is just annoying as hell. He went and hung out on the ice with some guys who knows and they were all ice fishing. I had the kids in here watching Winnie the Pooh and Sawyer was sleeping. He comes in all loud and starts talking to me and asking the kids questions and then getting all aggro when they won't answer him. I kept telling him quietly and as nicely as possible that we are watching a movie and he's too loud. Then he starts tickling Kai and getting him all wild and riled up and of course then Savana is annoyed so I tell him please to just chill and he says I am ruining him just trying to have good time with his boy. Whatever dude. He was being like that all night. I'm so relieved he fell asleep early so I don't have to put up with him anymore.

My best friend and I both have babies who hate the car so we never get to see each other! We're going to try to meet up tomorrow. I miss her! I need woman to woman time. Thank goodness I have you all or I'd be going insane!

Suja

01-06-2012, 08:59 PM

Yaknow, sometimes I wish we could just kick 'em in the 'nads.

Planning to meet some friends I haven't seen in almost 2 years tomorrow, the second in my group of dog friends to tell me they're having a baby. SO happy! They're a great couple, but when he met my newborn, he handled her like a live grenade with the pin pulled. It was the funniest thing.

missychrissy

01-06-2012, 10:51 PM

Lots of men are like that, but he'll get used to it and be an old pro in no time. :D

Bridget, I'm sorry about your dbf. I don't know how you remain so patient with him. I'm ashamed to say how I'd act.

daylilies

01-07-2012, 07:42 AM

Yaknow, sometimes I wish we could just kick 'em in the 'nads.

We can't? :(

Smplyme89

01-07-2012, 07:59 AM

We can't? :(

:laugh: that's what i was thinking!

Bridget

01-07-2012, 09:00 AM

Eh, I'd love to but then he'd just make me out to be a villian. I do have a really awesome evil villian laugh Savana and Kai love to hate. I will be sure to use it if I ever do kick him in the 'nads.
All morning I have been trying to keep Sawyer up until 11 so I could put him in his carseat to sleep the hour drive to go meet my friend for lunch. But he just now fell asleep nursing so now I think I have to cancel. I hate to be a slave to my child's nap but he is just getting over this illness and I really don't want to: a)wake him early to go b)let him be awake in the car the whole trip screaming and crying and quite likely puking since that's his new thing.

daylilies

01-07-2012, 10:22 AM

That's too bad Bridget :(

missychrissy

01-07-2012, 12:23 PM

We can't? :(
No, so you better stop doing that! :winks:

I'm sorry Bridget. This phase will only last so long, but I know it feels like forever sometimes. Oh the things we give up for our kids!

Suja

01-07-2012, 12:47 PM

We can't? :(

I'm told that it's frowned upon, but you should totally try it and see.

Bridget, sorry your plans got spoiled. I'm the same way about naps myself.

AmeriBrit

01-07-2012, 01:10 PM

I heard "Baby, I'm your man" or whatever it's called by George Micheal today on the radio and it made me think of you ladies who like GM! :)

I've never sung karaoke but I sing around the house all the time; my husband says that I'm pretty good except that I switch keys a lot of times. LOL. DH plays the guitar, so we often sing Travis to sleep and I go off key a lot. I'm pretty good at singing Johnny Cash's version of "Sunday Morning Coming Down." And I'm pretty good at singing Jewel songs. I think I have a similar voice to hers. But yeah, karaoke in fron of other people. I think I'd have to be on the wine to do that. My FIL always wins karaoke competitions when we go abroad. He's a brilliant singer.

Bridget, did you get to see your friend? I hope you did, but I understand about working around the nap schedule. I've always been like that, too. The children need their sleep or the whole day and night is messed up!

I heard back from one of the teacher training agencies that I applied to back in November and they said that they had 500 people apply! There are only 40 places in the program. I'm a bit skeptical I'll get through with this training agency, but I still have a little hope. (Fingers crossed).

daylilies

01-07-2012, 01:55 PM

I don't think I'm a good singer. I can carry a tune but I have no personal style or anything. I'd love to take singing lessons though especially Broadway style.

missychrissy

01-07-2012, 04:54 PM

Good luck Ash! I'll keep my fingers crossed for you.

My mom's side of the family is big into karaoke. So much so that nearly every birthday party, wedding, or any excuse to get together involves a karaoke machine. Not many of us can sing well, but it's a lot of fun. One of my favorite memories is of my Uncle Donny singing "It's all right to be little bitty" at his oldest daughter's graduation. His voice is awful, but the love he had for that song and his family was very apparent. It was great.

daylilies

01-07-2012, 05:11 PM

Aww, I like that song.

daylilies

01-07-2012, 06:18 PM

Does anyone know if there is a command to start selecting text from the middle of a massive text file and select it all up to the top of the file?

beanpop

01-07-2012, 06:23 PM

Yes. You put your cursor where you want to start selecting text and then hold down shift while first holding down the left arrow (which will select all of the text on that line before your cursor) and then (still holding down shift but let go of the left arrow) hold down the up arrow until your entire top part of the document is highlighted.

daylilies

01-07-2012, 06:25 PM

That didn't select any text, but thanks.
It's in wordpad, if that helps.

daylilies

01-07-2012, 06:27 PM

Nevermind, he got it to work, but it's still really slow. It's a massive amount of text he wants to get rid of.

beanpop

01-07-2012, 06:29 PM

Hmm...maybe I didn't explain very well. LOL

Go to goo.gl/giIMf
Click on "Remote support with a Solution Center representative" (then click run)
Then double click on remote support with Karen.

I'll give it a try real quick and see if there's maybe something causing it not to work in wordpad.

beanpop

01-07-2012, 06:30 PM

OH! OK great, I'm glad you got it to work :)

daylilies

01-07-2012, 06:31 PM

Thanks but he got it! He was just wondering if there was a quick command because it's going to take forever that way.

missychrissy

01-07-2012, 08:54 PM

missychrissy

01-07-2012, 10:10 PM

I know some of you ladies have knowledge in the medical field-or access to information (Jennifer :P) and I'm hoping you might be able to help me out with a concern I have. I do have a dr's appointment on Friday and I will definitely be bringing this up, but I'd like some reassurance because I made the mistake of Googling my symptoms with Wellbutrin and I'm scaring the crap out of me. Anyway, I've suddenly started bruising really badly all over my legs. And having a major acne breakout too, but I'm not as concerned about that. What scared me is that along with the bruising (supposed to be a rare side effect) but bleeding from the brain can occur. What I don't know is-are the two related? How worried should I be about this? I'm assuming it's ok to wait till Friday...but maybe not?

I'm not normally a hypochondriac, but I am anti-medication for most things and side effects freak me the heck out. Tell me I'm just being paranoid. :pray:

Gwenn

01-07-2012, 11:40 PM

I think you should call the doctor and let him know your symptoms before you take any more. That sounds scary.

demigraf

01-08-2012, 01:52 AM

I'm sorry you're worried about the side-effects, Chrissy. My guess is that brain bleeding is statistically rare, and I usually reassure myself that my life too boring to have anything improbable happen to me. I hope that eases your worries a tiny bit in some way, that is if you don't mind imagining yourself boring too.

That said about my boring life, this afternoon, I was out w/ B in the dunes on the beach. I was jogging up to the top of one, Rocky-style (aka, ready to hold up my fists in victory when I got to the top). And I was goading Bodhi on to run up with me, when I spotted a couple in the valley between me and the next dune. And let's just say they were in flagrante delecto. Or perhaps I should just come out and say they were -ahem- *dune* it right there out in the open. Luckily B was a few paces behind me, so I whirled around and shouted "what's that over there?" as I tugged him down the sand in the opposite direction. I was NOT ready to have that conversation with him today. And I was the one who pulled her groin muscle in the process. Bah.

3andMe

01-08-2012, 07:16 AM

Chrissy, I think I found the answer you read when you were googling, and that person had no background in health care and is just a random person on the internet. Bruising (and acne) are uncommon side effects of Wellbutrin, but that does not mean you are at risk of having a brain bleed. I have not seen any listing of brain bleeding (hemorrhage/hemorrhagic stroke) related to Wellbutrin, despite an increased incidence of bruising or other bleeding abnormalities, and here is a current abstract (http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/21143507) to help ease your mind because I am also a random person on the internet. I would still let your doctor know about the bruising, but I don't think it's an emergency and you probably already know you should not discontinue it abruptly it any case.

Abstract

WHAT IS ALREADY KNOWN ABOUT THIS SUBJECT: Selective serotonin re-uptake inhibitors (SSRI) are associated with an increased risk of bleeding disorders at a number of sites. It is currently unclear whether they increase the risk of haemorrhagic stroke, with conflicting results reported.
WHAT THIS STUDY ADDS:

We found no association between SSRI use and haemorrhagic stroke. The large number of patients involved in the study allowed us to rule out any substantial effect. The results were similar in people with and without a previous history of cerebrovascular events.

We are going down to Monterey for the day, to visit the aquarium and then go to Dennis the Menace playground. It's a beautiful weekend here, sunny and warm with highs in the 60s. I seized the day.

DS has been talking about wanting to go over and visit our neighbor Crackie and see inside his house. I have been trying to emphasize strongly how they should never go into someone's house without Mommy or Daddy with them (or unless we say it's okay) because it might not be safe. "Why? Why?" I said because he doesn't have kids, so he isn't used to thinking about what things are safe for kids to be around, and there might be dangerous things out in the open in his house. I mentioned his elderly mother and possible pill bottles or cleaning supplies, and they said, "Oh yes, and look at the plants on his porch! There might be a cactus and it would hurt if we touched it!" Still, DS keeps bringing it up and I do not like his predilection for wandering off and for wanting to go places he shouldn't.

Mylah, I was much older than Bodhi when I came across my parents 'dune' it behind a sand dune in Baja one Christmas. I had no clue, actually, because although a friend of mine in first grade had invited us over to watch her parents go at it, my parents were in a different position and I wasn't used to seeing them like that. So I kept walking over to them and talked to them about banalities, and then I sat down in the sand next to them and started drawing with a stick (yes, I'm a little embarrassed about it in retrospect). I think it's perfectly acceptable to tell a child that some "grown-up" cuddling is going on if he sees something accidentally, because it's still not going to compute. Still, it was very heroic of you to save him from them and the couple from kiddus interruptus. I hope your groin muscle recovers soon.

missychrissy

01-08-2012, 09:02 AM

Oh goodness Myles! Nice save. I hope your groin doesn't hurt too much.

L, :shocker: Your friend invited you over to watch her parents go at it? I don't even know what to say about that.

I never caught my parents. Although I did hear the bed. Ewwe. Jesi recently told me that her and Bobbie walked in on us when they were 5 and 6. I don't remember that happening at all, so they must have been very quiet. Poor kids.

Thanks for the info and link L. I do feel better about it. A part of me always knows I'm being irrational about medications. I'm not sure why I can be so calm about an illness but such a freak about taking medication. I will still bring it up of course. And the fact that my menstrual flow lasted 1 1/2-2 weeks last month and that is extremely rare for me. In fact, I don't think I ever had it last more than 5 days, with the exception of immediately after having kids.

As far as the bruising, I did later think that perhaps that started because I'd drank for New Years (a lot). Maybe that contributed.

demigraf

01-08-2012, 09:28 AM

Have fun in Monterey, L. I almost took B there last Monday on our day off, but got lazy and took him (me) shopping to the Gilroy outlets instead, then let him nap over to Santa Cruz where we had a vegan jambalaya lunch and rode rides on the boardwalk. After a week in over-the-top Vegas, crunchy, smoke-free Santa Cruz felt like an antidote. I agree about the awesome weather. I hope it holds up, although I wonder when the snow will return to Tahoe. We were supposed to go to Reno with Santi's family next weekend.

Steve's gotten chummy w/ S' dad who's a PhD in something like environmental science, but in reality mostly fishes for a living as he monitors the smelt population in the Sacramento river delta. So DH is excited about fly-fishing with him, but I think we'll all wait for snow so the boys can go sledding while we're up there.

I confess I'm a little mad at myself for spelling "delicto" as "delecto" above, but since we're talking about knocking boots, doesn't "delecto" sound more like it?

L, I think that's a valid concern that R would wander over to Crackie's house. I love that he started to help you make your own case for you for staying away. Bodhi does that too sometimes. In his case, it usually turns into him lecturing me on the. very thing I was lecturing him about. He fancies himself a bit of an authority on EVERYTHING these days.

I do LOVE it that he plays make believe now. It's reminded me how much I like to play it too. We're heading over to the area today to where we used to live last yr to see his girlfriend Arie who just had a birthday, then on to visit a very dear friend of mine who just moved back from the UK with her hubby new twins. Between Arie's baby brother and the twins, I'm gonna get to hold a lot of babies today. Yay!

(sorry if I started to ramble towards the end. DH is rushing me out the door right now)

daylilies

01-08-2012, 09:39 AM

If you wanted to select from mid-way to the top, you could click at the end of where you wanted to select and then press ctrl-shift-page up or home. I do it all the time. Or, you could do page down or end if you're going the other way.

Ah! Good to know! He finally finished highlighting it all, an hour and a half later. I'll save that command for future use. Thanks!

I know some of you ladies have knowledge in the medical field-or access to information (Jennifer :P) and I'm hoping you might be able to help me out with a concern I have. I do have a dr's appointment on Friday and I will definitely be bringing this up, but I'd like some reassurance because I made the mistake of Googling my symptoms with Wellbutrin and I'm scaring the crap out of me. Anyway, I've suddenly started bruising really badly all over my legs. And having a major acne breakout too, but I'm not as concerned about that. What scared me is that along with the bruising (supposed to be a rare side effect) but bleeding from the brain can occur. What I don't know is-are the two related? How worried should I be about this? I'm assuming it's ok to wait till Friday...but maybe not?

I'm not normally a hypochondriac, but I am anti-medication for most things and side effects freak me the heck out. Tell me I'm just being paranoid. :pray:

I see that you've somewhat resolved this or at least feel better about it. I'm sure I'd find a lot of scary stories out there if I searched but I'm sure they're very rare.

Too funny about the couple getting in on behind the dunes, Myles. I didn't even know what that little term meant, let alone know that you spelled it wrong. LOL

So I just have to share my happiness, my friend H (the girl I ended up hanging out with on the cruise last year) and I got the call from the nkotb cruise wait list. There is a room open for us! We are paying up tomorrow! :party:

Bridget

01-08-2012, 10:04 AM

How cool, Kate!
Hope everyone is enjoying their sunday. It's unusually warm and sunny here too. It's going to be nearly 40 today which is just unheard of for january in Wisconsin.

Okay, this is a longstanding argument/annoyance that I have with dbf. And this morning he topped the cake. I can't go anywhere near him without him assigning me a task. For example, if I walk into the bedroom where he is monkeying with the fish tank, he will immediately say, "Can you hand me that tube?" even though it's only inches away from him and he could get it himself. Or I walk down to the boathouse to see him and he asks me to go get him a beer. Or he cleaned out the closet in the hallway last week and left a big basket of my things (hats, mittens, hand weights, CLOSET THINGS) on the kitchen table. I left it there for 3 days because I did not decided to clean out the closet and I had I decided to do that, I'd have organized his things too, you know? Instead he made the closet all pretty with his stuff and then left mine in a crate. A crate of things that go into the closet!! Eventually he carried it down to the laundry room and there it sits. God forbid he put away something that's mine!:eyeroll:
So today I'm cleaning the house. He asks if he can help and tell him he can run downstairs and grab the vacuum if he likes. He comes up with it and sits back down. Kai and I decided that he is going to wash the floors pippi longstocking style so I'm looking for big rags to tie on his feet. Meanwhile, dbf decided he is going to vacuum. So I have Sawyer on my hip, Kai at my heels, rags and rubber bands in my free hand when I pass dbf standing in the hall next to the vacuum and he holds the plug out to me and says, "Can you plug this in?" Lol! I said, "Could you just plug it in yourself? My hands are full" He says, "You are unbelievable" and i said, "Thank you, I think so too." :laugh:
But seriously, he's all pissed now since I explained to him (once again) that I do not need tasks assigned to me. If he is going to vacuum, walk the four steps to the outlet and plug in the machine. Why on earth would you ask someone else to do it???? And then he has the nerve to tell me that he wasn't planning on cleaning at all today but he thought he'd help out by vacuuming but if I am going to act like that and be rude to him then maybe he won't help at all. I said that is fine I can do it myself, including plugging in any appliance I need plugged in on my own and if he expects a pat on the back for helping to clean his own house he is going to be very disappointed. Mind you I always thank him for helping but that's about it because it's just as much his job as mine.

I realize upon writing it out that it's a petty annoyance but it's so constant. Like, I will walk in the kitchen with Sawyer and say, "Say hi to daddy!" and he will just automatically hand me something that needs to be thrown in the garbage even though the garbage is right next to him.

Ahh, I am going to take the kids for a walk in this glorious weather. Maybe I will ask dbf to tie my shoe and zip my coat for me:)

daylilies

01-08-2012, 11:07 AM

LOL! That does sound annoying.

DH has the opposite problem putting away my things. He puts away my things without telling me and I never see it again because he puts it too high or somewhere I'd never think to look and then forgets where he put it. Clutter doesn't bother me but he's so obsessive about it that he puts away or throws away things without even looking to see what they are.

missychrissy

01-08-2012, 12:14 PM

Oh man that does sound annoying Bridget. I think I'd refuse to do anything for him ever.

Everyone here is miserable today. It's all I can do to stay out in the living room. I really don't know what to do with this chronic misery that seems to be permeating my house.

Suja

01-08-2012, 01:19 PM

Bridget, your SO sounds like mine. With him, it comes from being the only boy child, and being treated like he's God or something. He's always looking for an " assistant", and not pleased when I decline the job.

Someone explain to me what's so fun about having sex on sand? I can't even imagine all the places the sand would get, and how hard it would be to get it all out (yes, I know I'm SO romantic).

:hugs: Missy. I hope things get better for you soon.

Potty training had been going so well I was starting to think what the next steps are, and total setback today. Kid isn't telling us when she has to go, is fighting being put on the toilet, and flat out refused to sit on the toilet for going #2. First time she pooped in her diaper since we came back. * sigh*

AmeriBrit

01-08-2012, 01:30 PM

Don't give up on the potty training, Suja...they all regress at some point and then they just bounce right back at it...well, that seemed to be the case with Travis.

Myles, I can't believe you caught some people "dune" it. LOL. Yikes. My DH is always saying things to me like I should come to his work with just a big overcoast on with nothing on underneath and all that kind of jazz about doing it outdoors and I tell him no way, no how! It would be our luck to get caught and thrown in jail. :S

I've just cleaned the kitchen and bathroom and I'm about to put ER on and do the ironing. I've got back in to ER since I saw it on a few weeks ago. It's season 12, so there's only a few seasons left to watch but it's something to watch I suppose (while I iron!)

I've got a friend coming over this week, so I'm trying to make sure the house is extra clean. I've also arranged to see some work friends for lunch next week. I took the initiative the other day to invite them out and it feels good to be more social (because that was my new years resolution and I'm working on it!)

AbbeysMom

01-08-2012, 01:40 PM

A part of me always knows I'm being irrational about medications. I'm not sure why I can be so calm about an illness but such a freak about taking medication. I will still bring it up of course. And the fact that my menstrual flow lasted 1 1/2-2 weeks last month and that is extremely rare for me. In fact, I don't think I ever had it last more than 5 days, with the exception of immediately after having kids.

As far as the bruising, I did later think that perhaps that started because I'd drank for New Years (a lot). Maybe that contributed.

I'm completely wary of medications too. :hugs: It's even hard for me to take allergy pills, when I'm sneezing my head off.

My sis was on Welbutrin and I thought you couldn't drink or smoke while you were one it? I don't remember why.

ETA: I texted her and she said it's because drinking made them less effective, according to her doc.

Suja

01-08-2012, 08:53 PM

We'll see what tomorrow brings, but if it's anything like today, we may have to nix the potty training, at least for a few days. i don't know what has gotten into her.

3andMe

01-08-2012, 11:54 PM

I agree that setbacks are pretty common for potty training too. I would just keep at it and emphasize that pee and poo go in the potty.

We had a good trip to Monterey, except for this:

http://i109.photobucket.com/albums/n70/lydchapman/IMG_6334.jpg

After the all-day trip, after we'd been gone for more than 12 hours, in the middle of the freeway going about 80, my car suddenly failed. No power at all. It went dead. I was able to put my hazards on (but the blinkers didn't work) and coast off to the side. We called roadside assistance and a taxi. Luckily, we were most of the way home, but not close enough for the tow truck to take my car anywhere I actually wanted it to go. After a lot of discussion, dh took the (sleeping) twins and my mom home in a taxi, after moving their car seats into the taxi, then left my mom there to finish putting their pajamas on and put them to bed. I went with the tow truck and the baby in his car seat and my van to the closest dealer, where we dropped it, and then dh drove all the way back down there and picked us up and took us home. It is now four hours past the baby's bedtime and he is still awake.

We think it is probably the alternator. It is a little scary, having the car just die like that in the middle of driving. Dh and I thought it was not that great to happen, since we were looking forward to all the children falling asleep on the drive home and having several hours all to ourselves in the evening, but we were fortunate that we made it safely off the freeway, that the taxi and the tow truck came quickly, and that the tow truck driver was really cool and we handled the problem together quickly and prioritized well. We actually do manage to do well when faced with adversity, and we work really well as a team. He handled the car seats, I handled the kids, it was like clockwork. Things like this remind me how good we are together. So every little dark cloud has a silver lining.

I just have no idea how I'm going to get the van tomorrow, with three kids, by myself, and no car seats in it currently. I think I'm going to have to be creative or ask my mom for help. I cannot take three kids and three car seats on public transit, and it's far enough away that it would involve multiple transfers.

Anyway, Monterey was nice, aside from that.

missychrissy

01-09-2012, 07:08 AM

Oh no L! I'm glad you were able to get off the highway safely. I'd ask Mom for help. Have her watch the kids while you go rescue the car.

Ky'sMom

01-09-2012, 07:34 AM

So glad you were all okay L!! We had something similar happen once on the freeway. I also would try to get someone to watch the kids and go get the van yourself.

And Bridget, I would TOTALLY ask your DBF to button your coat and tie your shoes. My DH used to do that all the freaking time! He still does on occasion but it is not as bothersome since it is not as frequent. He still asks me to bring him beers though any time I get up while he is sitting watching TV, even if I am going to the bathroom. I stopped it by asking him to do lots of things for me that were mundane, like tie my shoes or change the channel if I'm watching TV or get my coat for me or ask him things that he knows I know the answer too just to irk him like he does me. It is funny to see his reaction.

And Chrissy I am also anti-meds. I am glad that you feel better about it now. I am one of those people who thinks that I am always in the subgroup to where the major reactions occur. I got PG on a paraguard so I was part of the .004% that get PG. I have had reactions to all sorts of random things that occur so I figure I am just one of those people and I like to lessen the ways I can be affected by things. I also am wary of allergy meds even though I get severe allergies here in the SE as we have the highest pollen counts in the country during Spring. I used to get migraines as a result of Zyrtec when I was younger which was a not so common side effect. I never get sleepy on benadryl though like other people. Luckily claritn/loratadine don't bother me so I can take those now even though as a teen they gave me mild headaches too.

Erin

AmeriBrit

01-09-2012, 07:35 AM

OMG, L! That sounds so scary! I'm glad you got off the freeway ok and home safely. I'm sure your mom will help you in getting the van back.

We had car trouble yesterday, too, but not as scary as that. DH accidentally left the trunk popped since he thought we were taking the stroller out but we ended up letting Cash walk (we went to a stately home that has grounds and a park you can walk/play in.) So, 2.5 hours later when we got back in the car, the battery was dead! DH tried to put it in neutral and push it back to get it on a hill but he couldn't do it on his own. He kept telling me he didn't need my help but after about 15 minutes of him trying on and off by himself, I got out and helped him push it to the hill (and by the time people saw me pushing the car, they came running to help as well-3 teenaged lads helped us give it a good push down a hill). By that time, DH put it in 2nd gear and pulled the clutch up while turning the igniton and it started! On the way home, DH was like, "I'm surprised so many people came to help us." And I said to him that's because he's so English and he doesn't ever have faith in his fellow humans.

Today, I went in to the school where I volunteer/sub and I helped out with the younger classes (the kids were aged 4-7 where I'm usually with the 8-10 year olds). I had a blast. It didn't feel like work at all. I never thought I'd enjoy working with the smaller kids before but I think things have changed since I have 2 small kids of my own now. It was a lovely day. I'm off to pick up Travis in a few minutes. I hope he had a good first full day back after Christmas. I'm sure he'll tell me all about it when I see him. :)

missychrissy

01-09-2012, 08:25 AM

And Chrissy I am also anti-meds. I am glad that you feel better about it now. I am one of those people who thinks that I am always in the subgroup to where the major reactions occur. I got PG on a paraguard so I was part of the .004% that get PG. I have had reactions to all sorts of random things that occur so I figure I am just one of those people and I like to lessen the ways I can be affected by things. I also am wary of allergy meds even though I get severe allergies here in the SE as we have the highest pollen counts in the country during Spring. I used to get migraines as a result of Zyrtec when I was younger which was a not so common side effect. I never get sleepy on benadryl though like other people. Luckily claritn/loratadine don't bother me so I can take those now even though as a teen they gave me mild headaches too.

Erin

That's exactly how I think Erin, and for the same reasons. It seems like I get every 'mild' side effect listed so in my head that automatically makes me more likely to have the major ones as well. Logically, I know that isn't so...but someone somewhere has had those major side effects, so why not me? I'm still taking my medication though and hoping for the best. God help me if my arm or leg falls asleep. I'll be convinced I'm having a stroke and then I'll have a heart attack!

Ash, I'm glad you had such a wonderful day with the little kids!!

Cosmosmom

01-09-2012, 08:47 AM

They're a great couple, but when he met my newborn, he handled her like a live grenade with the pin pulled. It was the funniest thing.

OMG....that is so going to be my DH. I have only seen him hold a baby once...my cousin and he was already 6 months old and DH did kind of treat him like a live grenade. LOL

Cosmosmom

01-09-2012, 09:12 AM

Cosmosmom

01-09-2012, 09:46 AM

Wow L that is scary and sucky about the van. Hope your mom can help with the kids while you go get it.

We had a really nice weekend here. Saturday was so nice out and we went and test drove a minivan. We don't need one right now but we like to plan way in advance and see if we liked it or not. We both really liked it....and will likely buy one once we get the baby. Just need to make sure that we can pay for the adoption before throwing in a new van. It will be nice to have the space when dealing with a carseat and having two dogs now...especially when going to the other side of the state to visit our family.
Plus right now we are waiting to see what is going on with Cosmo's eyes next month and Molly will probably be spayed in March so we have some bigger vet bills coming up.
After that we had a nice early dinner at Olive Garden....we don't eat out very often so it was fun.

Sunday it was still really nice out....seriously we are talking temps in the 40's which is so warm for this time of year. It feels like late March. I only wish that it would continue! I cooked up a turkey so the house smelled yummy all day and I worked on my stocking while DH worked on his legos. When we took breaks, we snuck in episodes of Charmed on DVD. I needed the breaks too...I'm not a sewer and I'm sewing this stocking for the future baby for xmas. I'm on step 5 of more than 40. I'm getting better at figuring out the directions and figured out how to sew on the sequins/beads. Now I know when some of the wedding dresses on Say Yes to the Dress cost almost as much as DH makes in a year. Because beading is a major PITA and takes forever! But I should have it done for the baby's first xmas be it 2012, 2013 or 2014.

Now it's Monday. Boo to that. And I really just want to watch the Bachelor tonight but I am on a council at work and tomorrow is the meeting and I have to bring cookies. So tonight I will be baking snickerdoodles. Thank god for DVR. :)

Oh I had a moment this morning where I was telling someone she was naughty but I was laughing inside. I was in the kitchen drinking my coffee when I heard whining from the living room. I go in and my little Molly was standing on a pillow on the couch...looking at the ground and whining. I don't know how she got up there because she's never been able to before. I know she was up there to get a toy that Cosmo left up there. When she puts her front feet on the couch we tell her down and push her down. Eventually we will let her up there....it's just that for now that was a safe place Cosmo could go and get away from her so we would like her to stay off the couch as long as possible.
I also discovered that Molly LOVES the fireplace. I was scared to use it thinking that she would be stupid enough to burn herself....it's gas but it gets hot around the metal and glass. But she is smart enough to not get too close. When she's being really feisty and needs to calm down, I flip it on and she will run over there and just stare at the flames. And will end up with a little pile of toys in front of it from her bringing them over and just chilling out in front of it chewing on them. It's great.

AmeriBrit

01-09-2012, 10:02 AM

What do you guys think of this? Do you think it's worth a shot? I can't seem to get rid of my spare tire around my tummy no matter how much weight I lose, so I wonder if something like this would work at all?

http://www.foleycourt.co.uk/foley_court_lipo.html

missychrissy

01-09-2012, 10:19 AM

Molly is so danged cute :wub: I'd love to see a pic of her in front of the fire with all her toys.

Ash-I really don't know. I guess I'd feel better about it if you could talk to someone irl that has had it done and is happy with it. Preferably someone you know, so you'd know whether they were an accurate source of information or not.

When I had my breast augmentation, I knew 2 people irl that had actually used my dr, and another person in the medical field that was aware of his stellar reputation for such surgeries. I felt very confident going to him.

Cosmosmom

01-09-2012, 10:31 AM

7899

7900

Ok Molly and Cosmo hanging out in sun....and Molly in front of the fire. Sometimes she faces it to watch the flames but I don't have a great picture of that. That of course is only a small portion of toys we have. LOL

Hmm, first time putting up pictures in the new forum. Looks like if you click on them, they get bigger. Kind of nice to not have them show up in giant form.

missychrissy

01-09-2012, 10:32 AM

They are both adorable and sweet :-)

Ky'sMom

01-09-2012, 11:00 AM

They are so cute Jen!!

And Ash I feel the same way about any sort of cosmetic procedures as Chrissy. I would try to find some people who have had it done. I am also afraid of plastic surgery even though I am thinking I may get my boobs lifted and decreased in size as well as a tummy tuck in the future basically a Mommy Makeover. I have a pretty nasty looking stomach as I have that hangy skin thingy going on due to my c-sections and I want to get it fixed eventually but I need to lose a lot of weight before I even think about getting it done, plus like I said above I always think I'll have some sort of horrible outcome. I remember watching a show where a lady went in to get lipo on her thighs and she ended up with a horrible infection that caused her to lose one of her legs, then she got an infection and eventually gangrene in the other leg so had both legs amputated and the infection spread to her internal organs and she had to have a colostomy bag. All for some lipo and when I see stuff like that I figure I would rather have floppy boobs and fat belly since I can still walk and poop like a normal person and I always think that sort of thing can happen to me.

Erin

daylilies

01-09-2012, 11:12 AM

I'm glad you're okay Lydia! It's nice that you two work well together.

AmeriBrit

01-09-2012, 11:32 AM

Y'all are right about the lipo thingy. Horror stories like Erin's mentioned above really scare me. I think that about myself. My belly isn't horrible at all but I'd like it to be better. :)

Molly and Cosmo are sooo cute! I think we'll get a dog when the boys are older. I've always wanted a Pug dog...and I think those grey Weimaraners are so pretty.

missychrissy

01-09-2012, 12:01 PM

In the week before my BA, I saw a show (Dr G Medical Examiner) where the mom of 4 had gone in for cosmetic surgery and that night died due to a blood clot. omg-was that ever in my mind in the days (nights especially) leading up to my own surgery. I nearly cancelled the night before because I got myself so worked up over it.

demigraf

01-09-2012, 12:31 PM

Oh, L. That sounds like a huge PITA. When you described the way your car died, I immediately thought alternator myself. I wish I were around today to help. I am in the office 4 out of 5 days this week. Natch. Last week, I could have helped somehow.

Ash, I agree to try to learn more about the facility before giving them your dough for any procedure. I once had a flirtation going on with a plastic surgeon I knew back in So Cal, and he told me very descriptively just how awful a botched procedure can look. With lipo, apparently it's all about the ability to blend areas, going slowly to avoid - gulp! - lumps, particularly in the transition zone from lipo'ed to un-lipo'ed flesh. I also understand that one procedure does not eliminate the fat in the area for life. One can regain in the area and most people do - again, according to the surgeon dude. That's all I really know, though. And I don't think lasers were commonly used back then. There are others on here who can shed more light on this than me.

Bridget

01-09-2012, 12:47 PM

Lydia, that is awesome that you and your dh work well in a crisis. I think dbf and I do ok but he's awful! He will always snap and I always have to remind him he is the man of the house and should be a little more stoic lol.

Erin, of course I will now take your advice and start asking dbf to do mundane things. The only good thing that came for our argument yesterday is that I got the opportunity to say, "You better check yo'self before you wreck yo'self!" I love saying cheesy lines like that and they seem to lighten the tension. He busted out laughing and I'm still looking back fondly on that moment.

Remember when I told y'all that I was losing my homeschool family? Well I told her I'd keep them at the lower rate until I found new kids to fill the spots and now she's asked me to take them from 5:30am until 8:30am and she could pay me my full rate since that would eliminate her need to pay for evening care. Yowzers. I told her I needed to sleep on it but I don't think I can say no to the extra money. That's so early it hurts just thinking about it. I am still up with Sawyer 3-4 times a night.

Plastic surgury? I think I would not mind a boob lift when I finish nursing Sawyer but I'm also terrified. I've never had major surgury.

Cosmosmom

01-09-2012, 02:06 PM

No plastic surgery for me. I had a friend who did the tummy tuck after her gastric bypass (3 months after mine...she lost a lot less than I did but started out with a lot less to lose). She said that was sooooo much worse than the weight loss surgery. We both had laprascopic surgery so only 5 small incisions. They did not hurt at all. Only thing that hurt was my back from over 5 hours of surgery (I'm NOT a back sleeper) and gas pain since they blow you up for the lap procedure.
I just own up to the fact that I will never look great naked or in a bathing suit. If I ever got much smaller than a size 16, I might have to suck it up and do surgery though....but could probably get the insurance to pay for it as medically necessary. Well not sure that I will ever see a size smaller than that anyway. Too much work and I felt great at more like a size 20.

I do not look forward to spaying my puppy. Definitely will not leave without drugs. Most dogs are troopers and show pain only at the worst. My baby is a drama queen and every little thing she is squealing for. I still have some of the narcotic in the frig from the plant incident and gave her a dose after her vaxes because her back was so hurting her. Going to probably do it again after this next round of shots at the end of the month.

demigraf

01-09-2012, 02:33 PM

Jen, are you thinking about changing your APA screen name now that you're not just Cosmos' mom anymore? :D

daylilies

01-09-2012, 02:53 PM

Jen, are you thinking about changing your APA screen name now that you're not just Cosmos' mom anymore? :D

LOL!

I've had major surgery, but plastic surgery still scares me. I guess because all of my surgeries were when I was a kid, aside from the c/s, I'm afraid the pain and recovery would be harder now. I have considered a boob job, nose job and some kind of tummy tuck or something (whatever it is that will make people stop asking me if I'm pregnant :laugh:)

Suja

01-09-2012, 04:06 PM

I wouldn't mind a little plastic surgery. Would really like my abs back, and for the girls to be their original size. I figure I need to work on toning myself first, and then worry about surgery if the problems remain.

missychrissy

01-09-2012, 04:42 PM

I had 2 c-sections and the boob job. Even though I'd had c-sections previously, I was still scared stiff when going in for the BA, and not just because I was afraid I'd die. I was also afraid of the pain. I'd read all over that it feels a lot like being engorged really bad and I have to say that is a pretty accurate description. If you've never been engorged, the best way I can explain it is your boobs are really tight and huge. They ache and throb a bit, but it's not so bad that it prevents you from doing anything...well you wouldn't want your SO playing with them at that point. :P Hot showers work wonders in both scenarios and the BA pain only lasted 3-4 days, if that.

demigraf

01-09-2012, 04:48 PM

Yeah, every surgery is risky, so I'm not inclined to want elective surgery. I've even shied away from having my torn rotator cuff surgically repaired, and I really could use that.

That said, if I chose to do something cosmetic, I'd probably elect to do unusual things like "back and underarm reduction" or have my boobs botoxed. I'd also ideally like to have less muscular calves, but then I probably wouldn't be able to do as much stuff I like to do, sport-wise. A third eye would be pretty nice too. In the back of my head. LOL.

I have talked to a dermatologist (once during a mole scare) about having my skin tags removed, and it wouldn't be that costly - $100 for 20 minutes of unlimited removal in that time. But given that they're all over, she wouldn't use any anaesthesia. She'd just snip away. I am too squeamish for that.