trying not to give up!

[ASpires]

Hey girls... I'm a new mommy. My daughter Alexandra is 1 week old. I've been breastfeeding her, no formula.. I know it's only been a week, but I just had a c-section, I'm still in pain and I'm sooo tired! Alex is having a hard time sleeping at night and I'm up all night feeding her. She feeds, spits up and then feeds again. She also has to fall asleep with my breast in her mouth. I always pull it away because I'm still leaking and that causes her to choke... I dont' know what to do. I"m sooooo tired, I need sleep . I'm trying not to cave in and give her formula. I keep thinking my breastmilk is not filling her up enough because she feeds all night! Help, I'm afraid I'm going to go crazy!!

[KLT]

Could you pump and let DH feed Alex at least once during the night? Are bottles out of the question all together? I BF/pumped and supplimented for a few weeks in the begining with DD since the c-section made things a little more difficult than normal...after I healed up and things got more routine the night time feedings were easy since I would just take her into bed with me...

[kohlby]

Perhaps you have overactive letdown? If the milk comes out too fast, baby can't always drink it that quickly, especially newborns. That could easily cause her to spit it up. You could try pumping a little out before nursing her so the letdown isn't so powerful. (But don't get overzelous with the pumping! Just pump a little off so the letdown won't be as forceful). You can also pump on one side and after you see or feel the letdown, let her nurse on the other side so you can figure out how much you need to pump. (And some mums can't feel letdown).

Another thing that could be helpful is block feeding. Block feeding means starting on the same side for at least two feedings in a row. Not only does this help with oversupply issues and makes sure that baby gets enough hindmilk, but it also reduces overactive letdown.

Some babies will feed all night. It's very important that you do feed her on demand. Breastmilk supply takes about 6 weeks to regulate. (And then several babies have a 6 week growth spurt!) The more you nurse her, the more your supply goes up. A one week baby doesn't have your supply built up enough yet naturally so nurse, nurse, nurse. There are also some nurslings who comfort nurse all the time. My first was a big comfort nurser. He wanted to nurse 24/7 even after my supply was in full force. (He would have nursed all day and all night at 12 months, had I let him!) Providing comfort to your newborn is important too - so don't worry about if it's comfort nursing or building up supply nursing.

Being up all night is exhausting. I understand completely trying to recover from a c-section and having a baby who keeps you up. I've had two c-sections myself with very difficult recoveries. I got to the point the first time around that I was getting less than 3 hours of sleep in 24 hours total and I couldn't see due to being so tired. (Literally, I started just seeing light). I knew I was useless caring for a baby when I couldn't see and my healing was being jeopardized as well. At that point, I started having DH stay up with baby from 9-midnight. That way, I got a three hour block of sleep and he still got enough sleep to go to work. I did use pumped breastmilk at that point - though I realize with nipple confusion, it's better to wait. But I was at the point where it was either formula or pumped breastmilk so the pumped breastmilk won! Just getting one guaranteed block of 3 hours of sleep helped immensly. The next thing I did was to give up on the basinett/crib and try co-sleeping. I started this when my first was 2 weeks old. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! It solved the sleep problem! (And I was able to stop the bottles that way). I was against co-sleeping before I had my first. But I quickly changed my mind when I realized how all three of us finally managed to get plenty of sleep! If you do decide to co-sleep, keep in mind that there are strict guidelines in order to make it safe. Co-sleeping isn't unsafe, but not following the guidelines can make it unsafe. (Like, no co-sleeping if you or DH is a smoker, baby can only be next to you, no pillows or blankets near baby, etc.)

[midgeend]

:hugs:

Breast fed babies will seem hungry all the time because BM is easy for them to digest. It's okay, and it's normal for her to want to be on the boob all the time, especially right now, and it's beneficial to building up your supply. These first weeks aren't easy, and I feel you on the lack of sleep. Just keep in mind that it will get easier, and you will get some sleep.

If it's really dire, and you absolutely need help feeding her...consider pumping and letting someone else feed her and soothe her while you get some rest.

Keep it up momma! We'll be your cheerleaders!!

[hijacob]

I didn't have a C-section - but DEFINTELY can relate to wanting to give ALL bm, keeping up on your LO's feeding needs, and trying to find sleep (which everyone tries to tell you - make sure you're getting enough sleep!). It's so hard to find the balance! So, a couple things -

This stage does pass (and is undoubtedly the hardest - things DO balance out eventually).

If pumping and giving a bottle is an option, DO IT!! You NEED sleep in order to heal and recover. And it sounds like you've got an ample supply to do it.

I hope you don't feel bad for wanting to tend to some of your needs during this time. Think of it as a necessity in order to ensure that your LO is taken care of. I had a REALLY hard time applying that logic early on, and didn't even EAT as often as I should have. If I had to do it all over, I would have done WHATEVER I could have to get sleep and to eat more regularly. I ended up having to supplement, anyway, but boy I could have saved myself some heartache.

[ASpires]

Thanks ladies.. I think I'm just going to start pumping. I dont' want to have to go to formula at all.. I love breastfeeding and bonding with her, but I am soo scared that I'll get frustrated with the lack of sleep. Last night I just cried and cried.. I'm going to pump today and see how that works.. I've heard it gets better so I'll stick it out!! I'll let you girls know how it works out!

[HeyMrs.K]

:hugs: The first few weeks are tough and tiring. Hang in there momma, I think all of us have been there and can totally relate!

[sundrip]

Try to set yourself some small goals. first, try to nurse for 1 more day, then 2 more days, 1 more week, and 1 more month. By 3 weeks it starts to get better and by 6 it's sooo much better. tell your DH that you're struggling and ask him to cheerlead.

How often is baby nursing and for how long? What sort of nursing support do you have? Did you get to see a LC at the hospital or take any classes?

I have to cut this short- baby is crying but hang in there! It really does get so much better.

[tri-girl]

I didn't have a c-section, but the first few weeks were still so tough... It will get better!!!

[bn2005]

:hugs:

Breast fed babies will seem hungry all the time because BM is easy for them to digest. It's okay, and it's normal for her to want to be on the boob all the time, especially right now, and it's beneficial to building up your supply. These first weeks aren't easy, and I feel you on the lack of sleep. Just keep in mind that it will get easier, and you will get some sleep.

If it's really dire, and you absolutely need help feeding her...consider pumping and letting someone else feed her and soothe her while you get some rest.

Keep it up momma! We'll be your cheerleaders!!


ITA!!! Also read the sticky's at the top...there is one about BF babies always seem hungry.

[PurplePasion]

Hang in there Momma. Both of my boys were c/s and it was hard to care for them and deal with the healing. I had a spit up problem with DS#2. It helped when I held him a little lopsided. I hope I can explain this: If he was feeding on the right I'd lean on something on my left side so his head was above his feet. When I switched him to the other side I leaned the other direction. I had to do that for a little while. Also if you're taking pain meds they may be making her drowsy so she's fallnig asleep during the feeding and disgesting a little but waking right back up cause she didn't get full in the first place. I had to unwrap them during feeding at first so they were less comfortable and fed longer. I also weaned myself down off the pain meds as much as was possible and still function (I'm not saying be in pain, but if you think you can handle a smaller dose then talk to your OB).

It does get easier.

[Irish-Eyes]

Truthfully, it's going to seem like your baby does nothing but eat for the first 8 weeks - because that's how it is. :) It's hard but this stage will pass. Push through it and take whatever help you can.

[nurseamyt]

Hugs Andrea. The first few weeks are rough, plus all the post partum hormones make you cry all the time. Once you get past the first couple weeks, it gets better. If you have a forceful letdown, you could also try nursing lying down so gravity doesn't put so much in your daughter's mouth at once.

[HunterGreen]

I have to say, I still remember the first two weeks and they were a killer. I had a couple of nights where I almost couldn't walk. I finally told DH that I HAD to get some sleep as it was dangerous. I would be in tears when feeding as I was so **** tired. My DH would take her from 9 to midnight and then I would co-sleep with her the rest of the night. We usually got the futon in the tv room as we have a gas fireplace and could keep it warmer than the rest of the house. DH would take the cats and get the rest of the house as he worries about any of them being around her when she is sleeping.

Yes the night feedings were the worst and still are as I am not a night person, so I have learned that if I am at a certain sleepiness level that I will feed in a spot where if I fall asleep I am not going to drop her.

I also learned to catch 20-40 minute naps in the afternoon. Let the laundry pile up, have someone else make meals for you for a couple of days as that is draining. I had a forceps delivery and was on strong pain killers for 3 weeks and I am still in pain 8 weeks later. I talked with my lactation consultants and worked out a pain killer schedule in that I would take them right after feeding her. I also hurt much more doing laundry so I let it pile up, except for DD items. I am still trying to catch up, but am in a better spot to be doing that. My sanity was important as I couldn't sit and cry all the time any longer and I was doing that a lot in those first two weeks. DH did give me some time to take long showers as its important to keep your self clean, just for your sanity, if nothing else.

Just know it will get easier and she might change her schedule a bit. Mine now cluster feeds from 10pm to 1am...I can handle that. It was the 12am to 5am that killed me.

[impatient]

Andrea, congratulations on Alexandra's birth! She is beautiful :)

Everyone already offered great advice ... so I am just going to send you big hugs. The first weeks are very trying ... not to mention raging hormones on top of that. It will slowly start getting better. And eventually, Alexandra will figure out that nights are for sleeping. Even if for just a couple of hours at a time and you will get some rest. You can do it! I know, you are one awesome momma.

[Kirst]

Hang in there momma! I ave a 3 week old and a c-section too. It's hard to go without sleep and heal but we can do this.

[Ky'sMom]

I had 2 c-sections and know how rough it can be. I agree with all the other ladies' advice and want to reiterate letting your DH handle one of the nighttime shifts and sleep while your DD sleeps during the day. Also, don't do any housework and let your DH do that and meals if possible or another relative. I let my house be a wreck for 4 weeks as I developed a painful infection and had to go on antibiotics and cleaning while taking care of an ever nursing newborn was not going to work. You can always clean up later, the mess will wait for you. Try to fit in some sleep wherever you can. I also second the co-sleeping. Though I don't like to co-sleep with bigger babies or children, I co-slept with both my babies for the first 6-8 weeks until they did not need so many night feedings. That way I could get some rest even if I wasn't sleeping just by laying down with my eyes closed.

Erin

[sundrip]

Are you doing side-lying nursing at all? Once she has started to relax, the extra milk should just flow out of the side of her mouth instead of choking her. Also, laying on your side might slow the flow of the milk some so it's not so much for her to handle. It can be a little tricky if baby is kicking your incision but you should be able to figure out a position that will work.

Certainly, if the other option is quitting nursing, then go ahead and pump and bottle but, do be aware that you may cause some nipple confusion which could make it harder to nurse. Also, pumping in addition to regular nursing sessions could lead to over-supply and/or make it tricky to get your supply to even out to baby's needs.

One thing I found helpful when I was nursing all the time was to join netflix. A nice tv drama will help you stay awake for the night nursings. We set up a laptop on a tv tray next to the bed and I would watch with the captions on.